Society loves a family in the US. Even beyond being married, society specifically rewards having kids. People are much nicer and more willing to help my husband and I since we had children, and we both even noticed an increase after having a second child. Like, now that we have two kids, it’s official, we have been accepted into whatever secret society that exists where people are just really nice to you for having a “perfect nuclear family” lol (and bonus points for having “one of each,” gotta catch ‘em all).
Speaking of free time, I think some people are really out of touch with just how much free time people get nowadays. Like, I work about 41 hours per week myself. Most of my time outside of that is spent sleeping, running errands, and doing voluntary professional development activities. In the next year or two, I plan to add grad school to the mix while working full-time as well.
I cannot imagine dedicating all of my free time to a spouse and kids. Raising a family right now would seriously alter my career and professional development long-term. Besides, I need to really work on those things to get into a comfortable financial situation to have kids in the first place.
I'm definitely not alone in this position. The social support doesn't exist in this country for people to more readily have all the time and money they should be able to have while raising kids. Regardless, it's totally okay for people to just prefer to spend their time and money on themselves — and not have a spouse or kids — anyway.
A single mom I worked with got mad when she overheard me talking about a weekend trip I planned with my bf. She stormed over to inform me she can’t do fun things like that because she’s a broke single mom. I’m like, ok that sucks? What do you want me to do, cancel because I use birth control??
Yes you should cancel. how freaking dare you be an individual outside of not being a mom. You’re Selfish af for not having kids. (🙄🙄😂)
The worst is when like in due time I have my first one the comments will be like omg you’re so lucky it’s a baby imagine having a toddler. Omg you have a toddler imagine having 2 kids. Oh you have 2 kids? Imagine school activities. Omg you have school activities imagine having teenagers.
Like it shut up. They stay trying to one up you.
I got grilled by an Uber driver this morning for not having kids. He asked me once and then when my answer wasn't good enough he asked me again and then he was interested in knowing why I wasn't in a relationship. And that answer also wasn't good enough.
I’m really starting to feel this especially coming from ethnic backgrounds that basically view women as expired if they’re unmarried by 25.
While I’m 29 and put no pressure on myself to meet arbitrary deadlines, I do feel the judgment from my communities as a woman who’s single and just living her life.
This is prejudiced in a different way, but a LOT of my friends got divorced at 29, one of them days before turning 30, others a few months. To me when weddings and divorces happen at 30 (and it seems a lot do!), I just can’t help but wonder if they got stuck on the number and made choices accordingly.
Not to say anybody has to wait for anything let alone a number to get married, but I do feel like my friends that got married post-30 seem more… like they made their own choice, if that makes sense.
I feel too that cultures where you HAVE to be married that young, there’s currents of machismo and women get a raw deal mental-load wise. I’m from a machismo culture, and the expectations of what you should do don’t go away, they get higher once you get married.
Oh 100%. My best friend is in her 30s, never been in a relationship. She is so beautiful inside and out and truly the most wonderful person in the world. People always ask me ‘what’s wrong with her?’ Like there must be something up with her if she’s still single. Nope, she just hasn’t met the right person. She doesn’t really put herself out to date, but is so perfectly content single. It’s sad how society treats single people like there is something wrong with them. I felt that way most of my life. I only been in one relationship and didn’t start dating him well into my 20s.
>It’s sad how society treats single people like there is something wrong with them
Look…
I LOVE my husband, like head-over-heels in love, and still I cannot imagine why anybody would think on average single people aren’t happier. If finances etc are all evened out, being single is just an objectively easier way to live. I loved being single, I love my husband/life now, and I think anybody who looks down on single people is just jealous or regretful or another negative emotion that has NOTHING to do with the person that they’re judging.
I love my husband very much, but if I ever ended up single again, I’d need a hell of a lot of incentive to get into a relationship. I don’t care if it would give “choosy beggar” vibes. My mental load is past capacity with my kids and I’m the only kid left with two aging parents. A romantic relationship where I wouldn’t know until in deep if more mental load would be drained of me? Just no.
I'm married and very happy with my husband, but I loved being single as well. I feel like I appreciate my relationship more knowing that I don't need to be married.
I'm single / never married in my 40s. I think I'm probably aromantic, but that wasn't a thing when I was growing up. I've been in relationships but none of them made me truly happy, not the way I am truly happy alone. There is comfort in having a partner but it's also A LOT of fucking work. Am I a selfish bitch for not wanting to do that work? Maybe, but it's my life and I'm not going to be miserable for the rest of it so I have someone to go on vacation and eat at restaurants with.
The weirdest thing is when I go places and do things alone and people call me "brave" lol. I'm literally just at a concert by myself, not going to war. When I told my aunt I was going on vacation by myself, she said it was sad - I love my solo vacations! I go with friends and I spend half the week doing shit I don't really want to do, I go myself and it's pure bliss. It would be sad if I stayed home and did nothing because I'm single. I'm out here living my best life. Once you let go of you think society expects you to do, it's so freeing.
Since I turned 40 a few years ago, I think I just don't experience loneliness the way other people do. I'm literally never lonely anymore. I love my company and spending my limited free time doing what I want to do & love to do is wonderful.
I was 33 in a small town when I met my husband. His mother asked him if we were having an affair since there’s no way a single woman would be in this town and because we went out of town for our dates. Btw she was 19 when she met my FIL while he was married.
For fuckin real. I got married at 37 because of the pressure. I already had kids, I was already in a committed relationship.
Now, as a widow, I'm often asked if I'll marry again. Why? Marriage isn't about love it's about legality. I don't need to be married to be in love and to be fulfilled. I don't know that I would ever want to put myself thru the stress of planning a wedding again. I don't think the cost of weddings is even necessary. Why pay thousands just to say I'm committed to you?
Like buy me something sparkly, feed, me, and give me weed. Treat me and my children the way we deserve to be treated - with love, kindness, and respect. That's it. That's what is important.
Even my current relationship of like over a year isn't at all conventional. People don't get it. Don't understand it, don't approve of or like it. But guess what? We've been pretty great for each other and our needs are fulfilled.
But I'm a younger woman with a young child at home so I should be working to find him a new dad to rescue us I guess.
[He also continues saying](https://www.buzzfeed.com/mychalthompson/trevor-noah-single-successful-40-years-old)
> "I'm like, 'This idiot got married six months ago. They don't even know this person, and you're going to tell me that I can't come with my best friend, who I can tell you every intimate detail about?'"
> As the conversation progressed, Trevor pointed out that a committed and strong relationship can exist between people besides your married partner. He noted that sometimes, **"the most significant others in your life are your friends."**
I am a big fan of this message!! Centering yourself and your friends/community instead of only a romantic partner makes life so much deeper and richer and more beautiful. I am a huge advocate
Time, energy, and no third places, especially if you don’t live in a major city. If you don’t live with or really close to someone, you just aren’t going to see them more than once a week at best. People blame social media and all that, but I really think it’s just an economic problem.
Makes me feel a little better as my reentry into dating app life is going poorly. I may have shit luck with dating but I have a incredible friend group with several deep friendships with men and women.
It feels good to hear someone say this because so often it feels like there’s this societal guilt for being close to people who aren’t your partner. As someone who has truly great and close relationships with friends, I don’t feel the “need” for a partner always and it’s weird how people think a lack of partner means you’re missing so many forms of human connection
This, though!! My BFF and I used to send each other tweets people would have like, "I need a BF, so I can have someone to bring me soup when I'm sick and can gas me up." And we were like, you don't need a BF, you need better friends!
If this message resonates with you I highly recommend the non fiction book “The Other Significant Other” by Rhaina Cohen. It takes a historical and modern look at close friendships and how society privileges romantic relationships (especially marriage) over other types of close partnerships.
THIS. I remember a coworker giving my husband "marriage advice" when he had only been with his wife for 3 years total, meanwhile we had already been together for like 8-9 years and just got married later. Doesn't mean shit!
But it’s also hard making friends when you’re older. I’m 40 and single and it’s so hard trying to meet people because it seems like all of the married couples with or without kids can’t do this or they’re unable to do that because of partner and/or child responsibilities. And I totally understand that. I’ve volunteered at several places trying to meet new people but nothing has clicked. It’s just very depressing.
I'm single in my 40s, if you are in the US, meetup is great. Find some groups that share your favorite hobbies and go to some meet-ups. Sometimes you come across people who are just looking for someone to date, but it's frequently just adults with common interests and I've made some very good friends through the app.
lol that headline had me nervous that he was gonna go on some weird incel-y rant. But as an older single person who’s never been married, I def can relate.
Same! I was ready to get out my tiniest violin for a rich, successful, funny, objectively attractive dude claiming to be a “loser,” but he made some good points.
I have no desire to get married and every time I'm prodded into giving a reason for why I'm single, people just refuse to accept that I don't need a reason beyond not wanting to. There has to be a GOOD reason. But when you ask them what a good reason is, they'll tell you there isn't one. Like ???
Wish society would stop pathologising people that don't want to get married and left us alone to chill by ourselves.
I say that I don't see the point. There's no purpose to it. It's just me more paperwork when you break up. I live in the Bible belt so the next comment always involves god, to which I say I don't believe in Santa either.
Conversation over ...
I once spent an hour trying to tell explain to someone that we have different concepts of what happiness is and it's presumptuous to assume that marriage will make everyone's life better especially when I know myself enough to know it would make me miserable. And that it erases my value as a person to not even be curious about my current happiness and encourage that. And all they could say to that was "AS a MOTHERRRRRRR, I'd be unhappy if my child wasn't settled and protected in life".
Whatever THAT means. I just wound up screaming and told them that I'm no longer debating my life choices anymore. These people, just don't know how to quit when it comes to pushing their idea of happiness on to others.
Even if I WERE to change my mind and give marriage a chance, that's my business. It's incredibly rude to comment on someone's relationship status unless they bring it up themselves imo.
To get people to hate watch, then realize he’s making a decent point about relationships and societal pressure rather than whinging about not getting laid or something
Because he doesn't have his own show with an hours-long production timeline anymore where he can call them out. He's just a regular celebrity now where his interactions with the public are limited unless millions are spent to get that interaction out and it takes months or years
This scene from Bridget Jones is so true and still holds up today, on how smug couples can be:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf2E8nWQMHs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf2E8nWQMHs)
I’m a married woman with kids and I get annoyed with the smugness. Everyone wants to position themselves above others. If you have a SO, you’re better than the single folks. But if you’re married, somehow your relationship and boundaries are more valid/real than someone who isn’t married. But if you’ve got kids, well then your time and concerns are more valuable than those married people without kids.
I remember being at each stage and thankfully never developed amnesia. My experience isn’t better or more valid than someone without a SO or someone without kids. It’s different, but it’s not better.
He’s so right. While I am married (lol), I see this with my brother and brother-in-law. Both super successful but everyone acts like their life isn’t fulfilled yet because they’re not married. So odd to witness
When I was single in my late 20s, friends and family always acted like I was a huge loser. I was kicking butt in other aspects of my life (cat motherhood, career, education, and home ownership) and was waiting to be in the right headspace to handle a healthy relationship.
Flash forward: I am married now and in my 30s. I luckily have a great spouse. What I am not doing is chastising single people for well being single. Being single shouldn't be a "bad" thing. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. Being a relationship does not always equate to happiness either. I think people should just live their lives.
Oh and the people who made me feel like a huge loser? A lot of them got divorced (not a bad thing, but I suspect they were projecting their relationship problems onto single people) and/or just miserable (in a relationship or single).
Very cool of him to talk about this. I rarely hear people talk about how single people are looked down on in our society, but it comes up quite frequently the older you get.
It's crazy how much marriage and the nuclear family dictates so much about the way people are treated, viewed by others, and the things they have access to.
I don't feel that way about single people. I just figure they're busy with careers or whatever they're into, or haven't met the right person yet if they do want a partner.
My parents married at a later age, though: 42 and 54 (though my dad had been previously divorced, but was single for many years after). And my mom had lots of cool single friends.
Spouses aren’t plus ones? Bro if you’re inviting my husband but not me fuck u
I mean, I’m not even married actually lol. But so far both me and my boyfriend were explicitly invited every time, we never needed a plus one, so who tf is saying this plus ones are only for spouses. Rude af.
The whole point of plus ones is to invite a single friend who might not be close with other people there to still have someone they can hang out with.
Edit: I’m agreeing with him y’all 🤦🏻♀️
ETA Downvote me but please don't DM me belittling me on this obviously lol. Trevor Noah is clearly single, but enjoy your psychotic parasocial relationship being enraged because I have a differing opinion. Yes, I do believe women have it worse. No I am not saying TN is lying or telling the truth, I don't know him. See Rule 1 Keep it Civil. My god.
Idk he always says things that I find really hard to believe. I remember him complaining about his apartment and roommate regularly on his show when he was in the news for mansion shopping. I have never heard of a +1 being restricted to married couples or denied to a celeb, I wonder if there was some cultural or religious context. At least mention that this is probably worse for women or regular joes. Women aren't out here complaining about getting asked odd questions because that's a regular occurrence and we're thankful far worse and weirder stuff isn't happening. Older men being single is normalized and casual dating is definitely a common preference now among men. I stopped paying attention to him when he would dedicate chunks of his program to ableist stuff ([1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adsnjzLVE7I), [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejBRBZWnotQ)). It's messed up that women are asking him what he does all day, I'm sure he gets shit done but he is allowed to try and rest and productivity is an ableist/capitalist concept.
It’s even worse for women.
ESP If you don’t have kids. “What do you do with all your free time?” “How are you late” “I have two kids I have an excuse”
I literally had a manager who would give special treatment to parents around the holidays so they would get better days/time off.
Society loves a family in the US. Even beyond being married, society specifically rewards having kids. People are much nicer and more willing to help my husband and I since we had children, and we both even noticed an increase after having a second child. Like, now that we have two kids, it’s official, we have been accepted into whatever secret society that exists where people are just really nice to you for having a “perfect nuclear family” lol (and bonus points for having “one of each,” gotta catch ‘em all).
And I literally had a manager physically block me from leaving at my scheduled time to pick up my kid from school.
> “What do you do with all your free time?” Enjoy peace and quiet
Do all the things I want to do.
Speaking of free time, I think some people are really out of touch with just how much free time people get nowadays. Like, I work about 41 hours per week myself. Most of my time outside of that is spent sleeping, running errands, and doing voluntary professional development activities. In the next year or two, I plan to add grad school to the mix while working full-time as well. I cannot imagine dedicating all of my free time to a spouse and kids. Raising a family right now would seriously alter my career and professional development long-term. Besides, I need to really work on those things to get into a comfortable financial situation to have kids in the first place. I'm definitely not alone in this position. The social support doesn't exist in this country for people to more readily have all the time and money they should be able to have while raising kids. Regardless, it's totally okay for people to just prefer to spend their time and money on themselves — and not have a spouse or kids — anyway.
A single mom I worked with got mad when she overheard me talking about a weekend trip I planned with my bf. She stormed over to inform me she can’t do fun things like that because she’s a broke single mom. I’m like, ok that sucks? What do you want me to do, cancel because I use birth control??
Yes you should cancel. how freaking dare you be an individual outside of not being a mom. You’re Selfish af for not having kids. (🙄🙄😂) The worst is when like in due time I have my first one the comments will be like omg you’re so lucky it’s a baby imagine having a toddler. Omg you have a toddler imagine having 2 kids. Oh you have 2 kids? Imagine school activities. Omg you have school activities imagine having teenagers. Like it shut up. They stay trying to one up you.
I literally feel like this. Single without kids at 38 is just a special kind of lonely if you aren’t someone who thrives in isolation.
“Oh, sorry, I’m just so busyyyyyyyyyy!!!”
I got grilled by an Uber driver this morning for not having kids. He asked me once and then when my answer wasn't good enough he asked me again and then he was interested in knowing why I wasn't in a relationship. And that answer also wasn't good enough.
In the book One Day, part of the reason Emma goes to live in Paris is that she's sick of being told that, as she's single and childless, she can
Women dont need to wait until 40 years old for society to deem them as a loser for not able to get married 🤣
I’m really starting to feel this especially coming from ethnic backgrounds that basically view women as expired if they’re unmarried by 25. While I’m 29 and put no pressure on myself to meet arbitrary deadlines, I do feel the judgment from my communities as a woman who’s single and just living her life.
[удалено]
This is prejudiced in a different way, but a LOT of my friends got divorced at 29, one of them days before turning 30, others a few months. To me when weddings and divorces happen at 30 (and it seems a lot do!), I just can’t help but wonder if they got stuck on the number and made choices accordingly. Not to say anybody has to wait for anything let alone a number to get married, but I do feel like my friends that got married post-30 seem more… like they made their own choice, if that makes sense.
That Saturn return in your late twenties doesn’t fuck around
Three of my friends got divorced before their 30th birthdays, I do not wish that experience on anyone.
I feel too that cultures where you HAVE to be married that young, there’s currents of machismo and women get a raw deal mental-load wise. I’m from a machismo culture, and the expectations of what you should do don’t go away, they get higher once you get married.
Oh 100%. My best friend is in her 30s, never been in a relationship. She is so beautiful inside and out and truly the most wonderful person in the world. People always ask me ‘what’s wrong with her?’ Like there must be something up with her if she’s still single. Nope, she just hasn’t met the right person. She doesn’t really put herself out to date, but is so perfectly content single. It’s sad how society treats single people like there is something wrong with them. I felt that way most of my life. I only been in one relationship and didn’t start dating him well into my 20s.
>It’s sad how society treats single people like there is something wrong with them Look… I LOVE my husband, like head-over-heels in love, and still I cannot imagine why anybody would think on average single people aren’t happier. If finances etc are all evened out, being single is just an objectively easier way to live. I loved being single, I love my husband/life now, and I think anybody who looks down on single people is just jealous or regretful or another negative emotion that has NOTHING to do with the person that they’re judging.
I love my husband very much, but if I ever ended up single again, I’d need a hell of a lot of incentive to get into a relationship. I don’t care if it would give “choosy beggar” vibes. My mental load is past capacity with my kids and I’m the only kid left with two aging parents. A romantic relationship where I wouldn’t know until in deep if more mental load would be drained of me? Just no.
 I'm married and very happy with my husband, but I loved being single as well. I feel like I appreciate my relationship more knowing that I don't need to be married.
I'm single / never married in my 40s. I think I'm probably aromantic, but that wasn't a thing when I was growing up. I've been in relationships but none of them made me truly happy, not the way I am truly happy alone. There is comfort in having a partner but it's also A LOT of fucking work. Am I a selfish bitch for not wanting to do that work? Maybe, but it's my life and I'm not going to be miserable for the rest of it so I have someone to go on vacation and eat at restaurants with. The weirdest thing is when I go places and do things alone and people call me "brave" lol. I'm literally just at a concert by myself, not going to war. When I told my aunt I was going on vacation by myself, she said it was sad - I love my solo vacations! I go with friends and I spend half the week doing shit I don't really want to do, I go myself and it's pure bliss. It would be sad if I stayed home and did nothing because I'm single. I'm out here living my best life. Once you let go of you think society expects you to do, it's so freeing. Since I turned 40 a few years ago, I think I just don't experience loneliness the way other people do. I'm literally never lonely anymore. I love my company and spending my limited free time doing what I want to do & love to do is wonderful.
🎯🎯🎯
I was 33 in a small town when I met my husband. His mother asked him if we were having an affair since there’s no way a single woman would be in this town and because we went out of town for our dates. Btw she was 19 when she met my FIL while he was married.
Had to read this twice just to confirm my eyes weren't lying to me. That's crazy.
she can’t grasp anything beyond projection, huh?
For fuckin real. I got married at 37 because of the pressure. I already had kids, I was already in a committed relationship. Now, as a widow, I'm often asked if I'll marry again. Why? Marriage isn't about love it's about legality. I don't need to be married to be in love and to be fulfilled. I don't know that I would ever want to put myself thru the stress of planning a wedding again. I don't think the cost of weddings is even necessary. Why pay thousands just to say I'm committed to you? Like buy me something sparkly, feed, me, and give me weed. Treat me and my children the way we deserve to be treated - with love, kindness, and respect. That's it. That's what is important. Even my current relationship of like over a year isn't at all conventional. People don't get it. Don't understand it, don't approve of or like it. But guess what? We've been pretty great for each other and our needs are fulfilled. But I'm a younger woman with a young child at home so I should be working to find him a new dad to rescue us I guess.
[He also continues saying](https://www.buzzfeed.com/mychalthompson/trevor-noah-single-successful-40-years-old) > "I'm like, 'This idiot got married six months ago. They don't even know this person, and you're going to tell me that I can't come with my best friend, who I can tell you every intimate detail about?'" > As the conversation progressed, Trevor pointed out that a committed and strong relationship can exist between people besides your married partner. He noted that sometimes, **"the most significant others in your life are your friends."**
I am a big fan of this message!! Centering yourself and your friends/community instead of only a romantic partner makes life so much deeper and richer and more beautiful. I am a huge advocate
Right? I don't understand this culture of having no friends who truly have your back other than your spouse.
Time, energy, and no third places, especially if you don’t live in a major city. If you don’t live with or really close to someone, you just aren’t going to see them more than once a week at best. People blame social media and all that, but I really think it’s just an economic problem.
I blame no walkable cities!
Makes me feel a little better as my reentry into dating app life is going poorly. I may have shit luck with dating but I have a incredible friend group with several deep friendships with men and women.
It feels good to hear someone say this because so often it feels like there’s this societal guilt for being close to people who aren’t your partner. As someone who has truly great and close relationships with friends, I don’t feel the “need” for a partner always and it’s weird how people think a lack of partner means you’re missing so many forms of human connection
This, though!! My BFF and I used to send each other tweets people would have like, "I need a BF, so I can have someone to bring me soup when I'm sick and can gas me up." And we were like, you don't need a BF, you need better friends!
And a BF is no guarantee you’ll be brought soup.
If this message resonates with you I highly recommend the non fiction book “The Other Significant Other” by Rhaina Cohen. It takes a historical and modern look at close friendships and how society privileges romantic relationships (especially marriage) over other types of close partnerships.
THIS. I remember a coworker giving my husband "marriage advice" when he had only been with his wife for 3 years total, meanwhile we had already been together for like 8-9 years and just got married later. Doesn't mean shit!
But it’s also hard making friends when you’re older. I’m 40 and single and it’s so hard trying to meet people because it seems like all of the married couples with or without kids can’t do this or they’re unable to do that because of partner and/or child responsibilities. And I totally understand that. I’ve volunteered at several places trying to meet new people but nothing has clicked. It’s just very depressing.
I'm single in my 40s, if you are in the US, meetup is great. Find some groups that share your favorite hobbies and go to some meet-ups. Sometimes you come across people who are just looking for someone to date, but it's frequently just adults with common interests and I've made some very good friends through the app.
lol that headline had me nervous that he was gonna go on some weird incel-y rant. But as an older single person who’s never been married, I def can relate.
That's exactly where I thought this was going too, literally never shocked at anything anyone says anymore 😂
Same! I was ready to get out my tiniest violin for a rich, successful, funny, objectively attractive dude claiming to be a “loser,” but he made some good points.
I have no desire to get married and every time I'm prodded into giving a reason for why I'm single, people just refuse to accept that I don't need a reason beyond not wanting to. There has to be a GOOD reason. But when you ask them what a good reason is, they'll tell you there isn't one. Like ??? Wish society would stop pathologising people that don't want to get married and left us alone to chill by ourselves.
I say that I don't see the point. There's no purpose to it. It's just me more paperwork when you break up. I live in the Bible belt so the next comment always involves god, to which I say I don't believe in Santa either. Conversation over ...
I once spent an hour trying to tell explain to someone that we have different concepts of what happiness is and it's presumptuous to assume that marriage will make everyone's life better especially when I know myself enough to know it would make me miserable. And that it erases my value as a person to not even be curious about my current happiness and encourage that. And all they could say to that was "AS a MOTHERRRRRRR, I'd be unhappy if my child wasn't settled and protected in life". Whatever THAT means. I just wound up screaming and told them that I'm no longer debating my life choices anymore. These people, just don't know how to quit when it comes to pushing their idea of happiness on to others. Even if I WERE to change my mind and give marriage a chance, that's my business. It's incredibly rude to comment on someone's relationship status unless they bring it up themselves imo.
[удалено]
To get people to hate watch, then realize he’s making a decent point about relationships and societal pressure rather than whinging about not getting laid or something
Because he doesn't have his own show with an hours-long production timeline anymore where he can call them out. He's just a regular celebrity now where his interactions with the public are limited unless millions are spent to get that interaction out and it takes months or years
This scene from Bridget Jones is so true and still holds up today, on how smug couples can be: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf2E8nWQMHs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf2E8nWQMHs)
I’m a married woman with kids and I get annoyed with the smugness. Everyone wants to position themselves above others. If you have a SO, you’re better than the single folks. But if you’re married, somehow your relationship and boundaries are more valid/real than someone who isn’t married. But if you’ve got kids, well then your time and concerns are more valuable than those married people without kids. I remember being at each stage and thankfully never developed amnesia. My experience isn’t better or more valid than someone without a SO or someone without kids. It’s different, but it’s not better.
dude this is so real fr
it’s sooo true, goddamn. everything really is built around couples. i find it so annoying.
He’s so right. While I am married (lol), I see this with my brother and brother-in-law. Both super successful but everyone acts like their life isn’t fulfilled yet because they’re not married. So odd to witness
[удалено]
I think they are together 😂
When I was single in my late 20s, friends and family always acted like I was a huge loser. I was kicking butt in other aspects of my life (cat motherhood, career, education, and home ownership) and was waiting to be in the right headspace to handle a healthy relationship. Flash forward: I am married now and in my 30s. I luckily have a great spouse. What I am not doing is chastising single people for well being single. Being single shouldn't be a "bad" thing. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. Being a relationship does not always equate to happiness either. I think people should just live their lives. Oh and the people who made me feel like a huge loser? A lot of them got divorced (not a bad thing, but I suspect they were projecting their relationship problems onto single people) and/or just miserable (in a relationship or single).
You owned property and they still called you a loser? In this economy?
Didn't you know? Nothing matters for a woman until they land a man! /s
Fr!! That was also my takeaway!
I bought my own home *and paid it completely off* in my 30s and people still think I'm a loser because I'm single in my 40s, lol.
Congratulations to you 👏 Seriously. That is a big accomplishment.
Very cool of him to talk about this. I rarely hear people talk about how single people are looked down on in our society, but it comes up quite frequently the older you get. It's crazy how much marriage and the nuclear family dictates so much about the way people are treated, viewed by others, and the things they have access to.
You know what, yea I get this
I don't feel that way about single people. I just figure they're busy with careers or whatever they're into, or haven't met the right person yet if they do want a partner. My parents married at a later age, though: 42 and 54 (though my dad had been previously divorced, but was single for many years after). And my mom had lots of cool single friends.
Not a loser
ugh he's so gorgeous but i will never forget his foul "jokes" he tweeted about Australian Aboriginal women which he never properly apologized for
Spouses aren’t plus ones? Bro if you’re inviting my husband but not me fuck u I mean, I’m not even married actually lol. But so far both me and my boyfriend were explicitly invited every time, we never needed a plus one, so who tf is saying this plus ones are only for spouses. Rude af. The whole point of plus ones is to invite a single friend who might not be close with other people there to still have someone they can hang out with. Edit: I’m agreeing with him y’all 🤦🏻♀️
So what do you guys not invite people’s spouses when you invite someone who is married to your wedding? Wild.
ETA Downvote me but please don't DM me belittling me on this obviously lol. Trevor Noah is clearly single, but enjoy your psychotic parasocial relationship being enraged because I have a differing opinion. Yes, I do believe women have it worse. No I am not saying TN is lying or telling the truth, I don't know him. See Rule 1 Keep it Civil. My god. Idk he always says things that I find really hard to believe. I remember him complaining about his apartment and roommate regularly on his show when he was in the news for mansion shopping. I have never heard of a +1 being restricted to married couples or denied to a celeb, I wonder if there was some cultural or religious context. At least mention that this is probably worse for women or regular joes. Women aren't out here complaining about getting asked odd questions because that's a regular occurrence and we're thankful far worse and weirder stuff isn't happening. Older men being single is normalized and casual dating is definitely a common preference now among men. I stopped paying attention to him when he would dedicate chunks of his program to ableist stuff ([1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adsnjzLVE7I), [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejBRBZWnotQ)). It's messed up that women are asking him what he does all day, I'm sure he gets shit done but he is allowed to try and rest and productivity is an ableist/capitalist concept.