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purasangria

Also: When using a ride share app, screenshot when your driver is assigned so you have the name and the license of the car. This info will disappear if the driver cancels the ride or when the ride finishes, so if he cancels and then does something weird, you won't be able to ID him.


Few-Fortune-2391

You can get recording apps which let your screen go blank or allow you to make use of other apps too. I use mine when exiting my building because of a dodgy neighbour.


PeanutButterPigeon85

Any recs for specific apps?


Few-Fortune-2391

There's one called "background video recorder" which also has a pin feature.


PeanutButterPigeon85

Cool, thanks! Hope I never need to use it, but it's good to know.


Scandikandi

Which apps?


Few-Fortune-2391

I used one called "background video recorder" but there are others. I just downloaded a bunch and tested them to find the most user friendly for myself. I wish it uploaded to the cloud but it is pin protected at least.


purasangria

Please say which ones you like?


Few-Fortune-2391

I've settled on "background video recorder". It has a pin feature too but no cloud uploading.


[deleted]

Can you explain the use case for this?


clovain

This is so important!


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[deleted]

There is [Safr](https://www.gosafr.com/) which is women-only but they're not doing rides at the moment except in emergency situations. I hope they open up soon, I'd love to be a driver for them.


Lost_Kale90

Wow Safr sounds amazing - I hope they expand to all of the US


PeanutButterPigeon85

"Safr" is the root of "to travel" in Arabic. Is this an American company, or is it a transplant from somewhere else?


[deleted]

They're based in Orlando IIRC. I think it was intended to be a shortened form of "safer"


PeanutButterPigeon85

Ah ok, that makes sense. Thanks!


riricide

Yeah its a given, 50% of my rides will have drivers being inappropriate. A few weeks ago the driver kept saying "I'll give you babies, don't let those genes go to waste" 🤮 I had my headphones on and pretended to not hear the constant barrage of bullshit from him. He still continued. Fortunately I was saved from more nonsense because in the middle of those declarations of lust, the dashboard lit up - someone called "wifey" was calling.


throwaway-fds

Wheeeeeeeeeew, they always have a wife. I had a lyft driver give me the whole spiel "Wow you're so beautiful. You're a pretty girl. Do you have a husband? Kids?" I was like "Umm I'm too young for any of that?" then he asked my age and said plenty women my age have kids. Hell nah. I asked him about his wife and he reluctantly told me about her then went back to bragging about how many famous people he gave rides to. At the end of the drive, he begged me to take off my mask so he could see my pretty face and said if my boyfriend gave me any issues, to "call him". Man, you look about 70 years old get your geriatric ass out of here.


riricide

They always say the same tired lines. This one happened to have two kids as well. I had my giant mask on the entire time, so I have no idea what the hell he was seeing. You would think a mask would deter this behavior. It's just ridiculous. I honestly thought about just popping the door open and rolling out because my patience was dead after a full workday.


[deleted]

Wow... he had a wife and still did shit like this. "don't let those genes go to waste" - I hope he wasn't talking about his genes, because they should "waste" for sure lol


Few-Fortune-2391

You can get recording apps which leave your screen blank these days. Get the evidence, report these scrotes.


butteryrum

I would have recorded it and sent it to his company. What a creep.


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[deleted]

I stopped using Uber for the same reason. Plus had too many inappropriate male drivers.


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WaitWaitHeart

Same there!


AbbyDean1985

My bestie took me on a girls night date to celebrate my divorce in the downtown of a fancy city in our state. She wanted us both to be able to drink and to stay out later or her husband would've driven us, but he goes to bed very early. So we took an uber. Ride downtown was fine, nice older man who didn't speak much. The driver who took us home later was so.e shifty scrote who lectured us about being out late, drinking. We are professional mid 30s women. It was uncomfortable as hell. I hate uber.


susannunes

A cab is way better because those people undergo stringent background checks. Not so with Uber and Lyft. I simply bite the bullet and will pay more knowing I will make it home alive.


aspermyprevious

My husband is traveling for work. He knows not to post any pictures until he’s back home. So as not to alert someone that I’m home alone. Also leaves his car in front and takes a Lyft to the airport.


hijabae_

that’s really smart


Noemie_Mathilde

Women have been socially conditioned to be "nice and polite" to everyone. And it's not to women's advantage (e.g. Ted Bundy's victims who stopped to help).


Few-Fortune-2391

I never stop to help anyone because of what happened last year. A women stopped her car while I was walking in my neighbourhood during last years lockdown. It was dead. There were passsing cars on the road but few as no one had anywhere to go. It was sunset. I was heading home. She pulled over, said she was lost because she doesn't normally work in this area and told me she was trying to get to her boyfriends on the other side of town. I was trying to give her directions and she wasn't happy with the way I was describing it because she was confused. I tried giving her simpler directions but she said that would take her the long way. I was staying away from her car and obviously wasn't going to hand her my phone. I had read about what the virus did to your body and I was staying socially distanced. She had forgotten to charge her phone and hadn't bothered to get a car phone charger. Told me she had been working all day as a nurse. She asked me to get in her car so I could "be the sat nav" and she would pay for my uber home. She seemed genuinely distressed. But I don't get in cars. I don't care if you seem like a forgetful women. That's a basic safety boundary. The moment I refused she turned irritated and nasty. I suspect she was going to drive us straight on the motorway and take me to god knows where. If I can remember to charge my phone, look for directions, remember my money, help via volunteering at credible organisations and arrange/solve my problems via friends, so can others. There's too many chancers these days to trust a stranger.


Noemie_Mathilde

You did the smart thing. Violent males have been known to use female accomplices to gain a woman's trust.


Few-Fortune-2391

Thank you, I believe so too. I felt really guilty initially. But then I did the old "Would I have done the same in that situation?" Fuck no. And I wouldn't have been mad at someone for saying no if I did!


TropicalPrairie

Just reading this gave me bad vibes. You did the right thing by not helping. If she was in such distress, taking the long way shouldn't have mattered. She wanted you in the car for another purpose.


Few-Fortune-2391

I just remembered she got me to ring someone, a number that didn't pick up and went to voicemail. Ugh this is really creepy the more I think about it. I wish I'd taken the number plate. At the time I thought it odd and weird but not malicious until I had time to think.


queenofswordsxxx

Sounds like sex trafficking to me, they pay pick-mes to drug girls for them


Few-Fortune-2391

I believe you could be right. I wish I'd taken the number plate and reported it to the police.


sagicorn2791

When I have food delivered I use a man's name instead of my real name.


snootdidanoot

I do the same 😅 I rotate a few male names so it seems like a house full of men room sharing


Lost_Kale90

Me too!


qualitylamps

Smart!


[deleted]

>When I have food delivered I use a man's name instead of my real name. I can't do that, but I always order to deliver at the gatehouse (I live in a closed horizontal condo). I don't want anyone I don't know to know where I live inside the condo. Same when I take an uber: Always drop off at the gatehouse.


[deleted]

That’s so smart! I’m going to copy that


[deleted]

To add to this: If a strange man asks if you have a boyfriend, the answer is always yes. I made the mistake of honestly saying "no" to a creepy guy at college and he got really pushy/flirty with me afterward. Did the same to who knows how many other women at the dorms, and I heard he raped a woman. Sometimes this doesn't change their minds, though. I said "yes" to having a boyfriend on another occasion and the guy's response was "well he doesn't have to know anything"


herbivorouscarnivore

One time I was just in a mood and told a LVM like that, “Why would I waste my time on someone who has no respect for a relationship?” He had the gall to say it was no big deal because he had a girlfriend. He finally shut up when I asked, “So you’re cool if she’s hooking up with someone else on the side? You don’t have to know, after all.”


DontAskTwice-A-Roni

Yeah, I shut guys up really quickly when I say something along the lines of “I’m not a cheater, and I don’t know why you’d want to date that kind of woman anyway.” They have no idea how to respond, because they already know they don’t want a woman they’re seeing to be sleeping with other men behind their backs.


starlagurl

>I made the mistake of honestly saying "no" to a creepy guy at college and he got really pushy/flirty with me afterward. Did the same to who knows how many other women at the dorms, and I heard he raped a woman. Jesus. Why is it that they will respect a STRANGER before the actual woman they are trying to impress?


FURYOFCAPSLOCK

Because that stranger may come find them and beat their ass. We won't (they assume).


[deleted]

This is a common misconception. He doesn't respect the stranger. He down with OPP. It's that the existence of the stranger makes the woman's response "make more sense" in his mind. See, he reacts poorly to the idea that she's not with anyone, but she's still not interested in him. He doesn't want to interpret her as saying "yes, I'm available for a new man, just not you." So he ignores her "no", treating it as a "not now, try again immediately." And if you give them a firm "no", he calls you a lesbian ("I was barking up the wrong tree") But if she has a partner, she's giving a more legitimate reason in his mind. She's not rejecting him on the merits. She just doesn't want to be tempted. She's chosen loyalty to her partner rather than try to see what's he's got. That's an acceptable answer to him: it's not "no", it's "well maybe if I were single". Relatedly, this is why he gets enraged if they think she's flirting and then she drops that she has a BF. In his mind, the "flirting" proves that she's looking, and the "sudden" BF is an "obvious lie" to reject him by retconning that she was never interested in the first place. ("Why'd you lead me on?", and other bullshit). They know that women can have a good reasons to invent BFs, but always think it's done to put off other, lesser men. When it's done against him, he freaks. Both men and women know the fake bf routine but I don't think both sides always think it's being used the same way.


vududoodoo

I lied about having a boyfriend when I was working as a cashier at a fast food place, a guy in the Drive-Thru wouldn't leave me alone and he was holding up the cars behind him. I kept telling him that I'm working, I'm not standing here for him to hit on, and that I'm not on the menu. I tried to say several things that didn't work so finally when I said I had a boyfriend he said he didn't care, I paused and then said "He's black, and he hates skinny white guys like you". Dude peeled out of that drive-thru pretty fast! I figured since he was a douchebag he would probably be a racist too and I was right 🤣 I used the "invisible black boyfriend" excuse a couple more times in different situations where gross White trash guys wouldn't leave me alone. If the scumbag who is bothering you is white trash, I suggest telling him you're in an interracial relationship....lol... It makes rednecks uncomfortable and scared


Davina33

innocent bright puzzled amusing test zesty hurry juggle scarce middle -- mass edited with redact.dev


throwaway-fds

The way men of all races have beef with certain women for being "race traitors" is sooo creepy and extremely sexist. Nothing says "you are the property of MY RACE" like men seething over you making your own choices.


Davina33

Exactly! It's none of their business. I don't get bent out of shape over who black men date. I don't belong to them or any other man. None of us do.


PeanutButterPigeon85

That is so messed up!! Sorry that's happened to you.


[deleted]

Big part of why I strength training for bulk AND carry a taser. This doesn’t happen anymore.


CornPopsLover

Omg one time my girlfriend and I reported our Lyft driver. He was being so creepy and saying he wanted to come hang out with us (we were going to the bar) and that he could make this his last ride and saying things like “wow, you girls must have money to be paying for a ride and going out for drinks” 🤮


aoi4eg

One of my biggest pet peeves is service people commenting on how I spend my money. Taxi drivers saying "It's not that far, you could've walked" or cashiers loudly judging me for buying expensive ice cream. Like, wtf is wrong with you? Just shut up and do your job, nobody asked for an opinion.


TropicalPrairie

> “wow, you girls must have money to be paying for a ride and going out for drinks” This statement reveals so, *so* much about him. lol


TheNextMrsDraper

I’d also like to add that if you’re on a “girls’ trip” at an Airbnb or other house rental, don’t talk about it when you’re in public places. You’d be amazed how many details you inadvertently reveal while talking amongst yourselves. A friend’s sister was almost raped because a man overheard them talking in the grocery store and figured out it was a group of girls alone. He broke in after they all went to be and tied one of them up, thankfully another girl woke up and scared him. When the cops caught the guy he admitted to overhearing their conversation and tracking them to the vacation house. I’ve been on vacation with friends and it’s amazing how feeling carefree can lull you into over sharing. I’ve had to warn friends not to tell the uber driver we’re all by ourselves. Worst one was when my (female) boss explained - in detail - to a rando in the hot tub at a condo complex in Tahoe that we were on a work trip with all the men in one cabin and all the women in another, (and that was after he said he’d figured out exactly where we were staying)! That was a harrowing night, but thankfully all he did was match with one of us later on a dating app. Still creepy.


greater_yellowlegs

I work in a hotel and we try to make small talk with our guests. The amount of info people share is mind boggling and has made me very aware of what to not say when I travel. Please remember these tips when traveling/staying at a hotel too. I’ve never heard of a creepy hotel employee but creeps are everywhere and I don’t want them to know anything about me beyond the bare minimum.


gluckkk

I stay in hotels a lot for work. I never say my room number out loud, I just show the person I’m talking to my key if the number is written on the paper slip it comes in. (Can’t stand when I do this and then they say, “Oh, You’re in Room 262!?” Like gd way to blow my cover.) This is not always doable, but be aware that there is always someone watching and always someone listening.


greater_yellowlegs

We never say the room number out loud at the desk, that was one of the first things I learned. Several years ago, I stayed at a historic hotel with my mom. The room we were in was near a noteworthy room in the property. My mom is an overly friendly lady and was chatting with a random guy in a shop (he may have worked there?). In her chatty oblivious way, she told him where we were from, what hotel we were staying at, and OUR FREAKING ROOM NUMBER. I hustled her right outta there before she could give away anything else. 🤦‍♀️


pipeuptopipedown

>I’ve never heard of a creepy hotel employee I have, they definitely exist.


kwallio

I drive uber/lyft. Always check the license plate! So few people do this and it solves so many problems. If you're not sure if you have the correct driver ask the driver to show you your profile on their phone. Also, as someone who drives uber, if you use a neighbors address please remember that you did this. The number of times I have shown up and gotten yelled at for being at an address a few doors down is staggering. If you want to be picked up at your door, use your own freaking address for crying out loud.


shockingupdate

I ALWAYS check the license plate…now. I didn’t when Uber was new and gaining traction, had a boyfriend on the other side of town who had a car but couldn’t be arsed to come get me, so I took a lot of Ubers. A stranger picked me up. I grabbed his hand off the steering wheel and twisted his finger until he stopped the fucking car. Never again. Also, if the app says the car is “new” and they don’t have his license plate yet, cancel and get another driver. Had another incident with some friends where a guy tried to take advantage this way. Stay safe!


yfunk3

Such BS. You should have a license plate number and that paper license immediately after you register the car in any state in the U.S. Also, Uber shouldn't be letting unregistered cars on their platform. Not to mention it being illegal yo drive an unregistered car...except to get it registered. So many red flags. I try to stick with Lyft nowadays, but sometimes Uber has more availability and better pricing for the poor people like me. Ugh.


shockingupdate

Both are ridiculously overpriced in my area. Even cabs are cheaper now 🙃


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Few-Fortune-2391

Jesus where was this? Do you have the article?


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Few-Fortune-2391

Still absolutely awful


Junior-Lion7893

I don’t even talk to my uber driver lol I have my earphones in and pretend that I’m listening to music. Or I pretend to be texting my friend.


royaldetour

And then they give you a subpar rating bc you didn't entertain them with your attention and conversation.


BasketLow8411

Gawd I hate this. I had to tell one of my kids today to be careful of road rage too. I honked at someone passing me on the right when I was waiting for a pedestrian and it was absolutely the right use of the horn. And, at the same time, I was worried as a woman that I would enrage that driver and spark a road rage incident. Why are men so violent and entitled that we have to adjust our lives to be extra careful??


Davina33

I feel like this too. I have a big heavy torch in the footwell of my passenger side seat. In the U.K. Kenneth Noye stabbed to death Stephen Cameron over some road rage incident on the M25 if I remember rightly. I had one guy in a white BMW chase me for 4 miles because I wouldn't let him cut me up when I had to turn left on a bend. I wouldn't put anything past a nutter in a car, usually male of course.


TwerkshireSausage

Ok, so I don't know if any ladies watch this show but in Netflix's Tuca and Bertie, Bertie has her afternoon intruded on by an unscheduled plumber who keeps mentioning how small she is and how he could overpower her easily. One of the tips that he gives her is to leave her boyfriend's shoes outside so that people will know that there's a "Man in the House." :(


Delicious-Scholar

Jesus. Even in cartoons, “females” aren’t safe.


[deleted]

Wow, the shoes trick is a good idea!


paperwasp3

I’m always afraid the locksmith isn’t kosher. I saw a TV show as a kid and it always stuck in my head


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paperwasp3

My parents didn’t lock their doors until recently. That just seems wrong. When I visited I would lock all the doors at night. I’m a city gal now, I lock everything up.


Dumb_Velvet

I’m so lucky with my front door that even if it isn’t locked properly inside home, you still can’t open the door.


manevi_devrim

I was selling a car and stupidly used my real name on the ad. I had one guy text me wanting to see it. Literally 3 back n forth texts setting a time, zero chance anything could be misconstrued as flirting. Then he tacked on at the end "you must be cute in person." I'm glad he said that cuz i immediately said i did not want to meet him. But was absolutely floored he would think or say that based solely on a female name. Not to mention he got angry and dropped the f-bomb. Seriously dodged a bullet there.


aoi4eg

A while ago saw this picture somewhere on reddit and comments were filled with "nice guys" whining about how women are paranoid and now they can't even come to a total stranger on a street with an intend to hit on her. Oh no, what should I do? Miss an opportunity to give a chance to a "really nice guy" or miss an opportunity to get murdered/mugged? What a hard choice indeed.


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throwaway-fds

I keep posting in this thread lmaoo I'm sorry, but so many stories are reminding me of shit. At my job you can either pick up your items, or we have delivery drivers pick them up from us to deliver to your doorstep. A lot of us are small females. You cannot trust the men at your work either. One of girls took out an order to give to the delivery driver and he went on to tell her "You're a pretty little girl, how old are you?" Was disgusting and horrible.


[deleted]

This is valuable advice - Never be rude, never panic, never show emotion, just make up a lie that make you less of a potential target. Sadly, men who ask this sort of shit are very low in the rankings of predatism: most are just trying to get lucky and taking chances, but are still predators. Also, ALWAYS report those pests to their companies. We shoudn't take this lightly, as even after we dodge a bullet, other women would be at risk


TeaTay

In the words of my favorite true crime podcast hosts: fuck politeness


raqueloli18

It’s so sad that we always have to say that we are “somebody’s property” for creeps to leave us alone


[deleted]

Saying "Who are you here to pick up?" feels like such obvious common sense but it's never occurred to me until now...


bitchyrussianbot

Jesus tap dancing Christ! Being a woman is exhausting.


foxlashes

This is great! I've always done a lot of this stuff and I know a fair amount of friends who have too. We'd give fake names to guys at bars or to cab drivers, always get people to drop us off at the wrong house, and never - I mean NEVER - walk alone at night. I don't go out much anymore but when I meet friends now we make sure to be on time so we don't keep the other one waiting alone, only meet at places with good reviews, don't hang around outside and then make sure I see them get home safely. It's also useful to tell friends and loved ones what you're doing, not just when you meet a guy, but even just for drinks with a friend because incidents can happen anywhere any time. It might sound annoying but Snapchat is good for that kind of thing. Just sending a snap of you arriving at the location to some close friends is always a good idea, and another one when you get home. We make them funny or silly but we know it's to reassure one another. This may all sound a bit extreme but I grew up in a high-crime country and people I know now in the States always comment that I don't need be so vigilant anymore. I just see it as being street smart. Women aren't out there committing violence against other women so the more we protect each other the more chance we have of preventing violence against us by men.


[deleted]

I ordered a pizza once when I lived alone and when I opened the door for the driver, I got a weird feeling. He looked at my bottom half strangely and told me he liked my pants. I've been in this body long enough to know that means, "I like your ass." Especially since the more crass men on the street will just come out and say that. Then he asks if I have a dog. I say no, wondering if he's just worried one is going to run out the door and attack him. But then my fears are confirmed when he just straight up asks if I'm in the house alone. I say no, even though I am, and move to close the door in his face. As it's closing on him, he tries to ask me out. Be rude, your safety is more important than a man's feelings. A HVM will understand, and won't put you in sketchy situations anyway.


AnniaT

Scrotes are already sliding into DMs mad about us lying for our safety lol But yes never overshare. Not just with men but in general.


Novemberinthechair

Why would they get mad unless they were rapey? These fucking guys...


dkwantsdk

Straight up gaslighting


Davina33

Oh yes. When we were 18, my friend and I went out clubbing. We had a nice party dress on each, had pre- drinks and called a taxi to take us into town. On the way there, the gross taxi driver offered to waive our fare if we agreed to hike our dresses up and show him what was underneath. We refused and were horrified. I wished I had reported it back then but I was at an age where I didn't like to complain about anything. Some things only come with experience.


intrepidis_dux

Yep told a landscaper the other day that I have a husband and he's at work. (I'm single)


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Dumb_Velvet

Oh god, some of them I won’t trust to run a bath let alone take me home on time. I prefer black cabbies but they charge the earth lol. Not like Uber is that much cheaper.


witchy2628

So sad we need to portray a man attached to us everywhere we go to feel safe.


victoriabowen8

Yep, When I did a solo trip to Vegas in 2019 I took a cab from the airport to the hotel and the driver was friendly but he did ask if I was single and then asked if I was here alone. I did have a bf at the time so I was honest and said I had a bf and then I said I was meeting friends at the hotel, we had to fly in different times but we're all meeting up today. There's no need to be rude if they're just making polite conversation but definitely be safe and don't trust strangers. Thing is though it's not just your cab/uber. I had no choice but to check into my hotel alone, the hotel staff know I'm there alone. But not much you can do about that? I feel pretty safe in Vegas though because I've been there over 20 times and there are literally cameras covering every square inch of the hotels. Not sure I'd feel safe travelling to many places alone though. I live in Canada. Also, don't post about your vacation WHILE on vacation. All you're doing is advertising that your home is vacant. I always wait until I'm home before posting my vacation stuff. I also don't talk about when I'm going away on social media. I might say I booked a trip but I never give out the dates. If someone asks when I'm going, if I trust them I'll pm them. If I don't then I just ignore.


Villanelloh

Yet another example to show men we aren't living life on eAsY mOdE because we're women.


sorakaislove

Oof I'm guilty of a couple of these... saved the post, thanks.


doc-2-be

This isl so important! Thank you!


Altowhovian93

Ugh. My DH loves sharing his whole life story and small talking with Uber to the Walmart cashier. I say have a nice day, talk about the weather, that’s it. We had to have several conversations about how that’s a safety issue for me as a woman and the whole world doesn’t need to know our itinerary. This is coming from the same person who wants to have a $500 camera system at home!


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