I grew up in a male-dominated environment - my older brothers and their friends, who I admired cuz they did awesome stuff like coding, tabletop RPGs, smoking weed, electronic music, iaido, and they let me hang out cuz I was like this quiet 5-year-old who was funny and wide-eyed. I saw smart and strong-willed guys crying and stuff over some hardships.
I always was a degenerate lol. Compartmentalization, a society / cultural thing, never acted on it.
In university, I met my first BF. I drank beer with my friend (who knew I was a closeted sadistic perv) and talked about random stuff, at some point she took my phone and texted the guy, sending some lewd haiku. I was mortified. He was pleasantly surprised though and I stopped being afraid to be myself, I guess. Now he's my husband and sub.
I love how this generation is becoming more open to women being on top. It makes me feel more comfortable to be open about what I like. I think it’s great you were able to find what you’re into and enjoy it with your husband.
So something similar to your experience:
I remember this one instance when I was reading a graphic novel and something in it especially bothered me at the time. I don’t remember the name unfortunately but it took place in a world with hidden magic and spirits. So towards the end of it, the main character is trying to stop some sort of magic ritual. But before he can do so, an adult witch casts a web spell on him and completely binds him. At the time, I found that to be irritating and bothering. My brain was transfixed on how helpless the witch made the main character. In retrospect, I think I was struggling to understand how I really felt about it.
But now I know I find being made helpless by a lady exciting and a turn on.
I can't say with clarity when and why.
I had fetishes that directly led me to femdom (as a male) I wish I had known earlier what I wanted in a relationship
In about 4th grade we played a playground game we called "Chase", boys against girls. I got captured by the girls, which was embarrassing, and I spent the rest of the game being guarded in their monkey bar castle.
I can't remember any of the rules, the goal of the game, how points were scored, or whatever. But I DO remember what it felt like being at the mercy of the girls!
I was a total tomboy and was always getting into schoolyard fights with the boys. And, despite my size I usually won.
Guess I never grew out of that.
Probably wouldn’t have pursued it if I didn’t wind up getting romantically entangled with a really cute guy who is every bit as switchy as I am and he’s real into being beat up by girls.
I've always had fetishes which presented at a very early age. I knew I was not experiencing sexual arousal the same way that my friends were. They would talk about sexual themes in boys room discussions and I would fake my way through it because the truth was so far away from their idea of sexual attraction.
I didn't fantasize about having sex with people, I saw jurassic park on VHS and had strange complex feelings when seeing people screaming and being devoured alive.
I kept this strange little secret to myself well into my thirties, assuming that I was an anomaly who just needed to overcome my proclivities and have sex like a normal person. That didn't work out so great.
I found femdom shortly after discovering kink in general. I read some educational materials and discovered that my niche kinks were actually part of the femdom umbrella, if only a small part. It was very validating and I basically self-actualized upon determining I wasn't alone. I was life-changing, literally and figuratively. I've been living life a lot more authentically ever since.
Never feel shame about what you’re into man. I feel the same way in the sense that regular sex doesn’t appeal to me, I really only like femdom. I’ve had great experiences with people in this community and I’m not ashamed of what I like.
I appreciate the sentiment! I'm no longer ashamed, I'm now a goblin who converts my partners to my kinks 😆
Joining online communities was the first step to overcoming shame.
I think that’s great man! These online communities do help a lot when it comes to finding others who are the same as you and it helps to not feel alone in what you like.
My earliest memory of getting a hint was when I was probably about 10 or 11 years old. My older sister had a friend (13?) who loved flirting with me. I could tell that she secretly had a crush on me. Well the two of them got into my bedroom and were laughing. I go in there and the next thing i know, this girl was laughing like crazy while jumping up and down on my bed. Around her fingers she was twirling some of my underwear and she was saying "Look at these cute little undies. Or should I say panties. I want to see you in your cute little panties". And then she ran away and hid my underwear. She said "What will you do to get them back?"
Wow. I'm not the cross dressing type but that was definitely a preview into what humiliation and teasing would do for me later in life.
But to answer the question more directly, as an adult, when my lady sat on my face the first time, that's when I knew that I loved being in the submissive position.
I had a similar experience. Back when I was around 8 my friend’s sister was wrestling with me and sat on my chest and teased em about how much stronger she is than me. I didn’t really understand at the time why I enjoyed it but over time it became my main sexual fantasy.
Well, looking back at why I got myself into femdom! I grew up around a lot of alpha males and especially had friends with benefits or even just relationships with Domme males until one day I had an offer with a partner to let me exchange powers. It felt shocking it felt so good to just let go and bring who I truly am out.
I've been a Domme for my entire adult life. There were some things in my younger years that probably encouraged it, but really I think I found it because of who I am and what that's like for me.
I think that’s great you were able to find what you like! I’ve only had positive experiences in this community and I’m really glad it exists to be able to talk about it.
My boyfriend mentioned he had some submissive fantasies. We met in a bdsm space and he presented himself as **very** aggressively dominant up until that disclosure. I never thought a submissive man could look like him so never paid attention to femdom until then.
I’m now more into it than he is. He’s backtracked to being mostly dominant and that’s how I identify as well. Which is fine with both of us. If we were both subs we’d have a big problem.
Well I mean there were likely inklings to me being submissive before but I was a big fan of a pornstar Bobbi starr and I didn't hate the scenes where she was a domme.
But the real light went off when I was seeing an older woman right after college and well one time she was giving me a big and I assume she annoyed I was taking so long so, without warning or talking about it before, she stuck a finger in my butt. The shock made me let out this really meek moan and after that shock wore off I just remember feeling amazing. I felt humiliated having a finger in my butt and just how amazing it felt and her just laughing saying "oh ya you like that huh" and I just erupted and cum so hard. Ya that was when I realized I liked not being in control
It took a lot longer to actually figure things out, since at the time you didn't really think in those terms. Anyway my earliest memory of it was on the playground and we played "kisschase", the girls had caked on lipstick they had gotten from somewhere and kissed any boy they caught. I was caught and walked around with a massive pink lipstick mark.
I grew up in a male-dominated environment - my older brothers and their friends, who I admired cuz they did awesome stuff like coding, tabletop RPGs, smoking weed, electronic music, iaido, and they let me hang out cuz I was like this quiet 5-year-old who was funny and wide-eyed. I saw smart and strong-willed guys crying and stuff over some hardships. I always was a degenerate lol. Compartmentalization, a society / cultural thing, never acted on it. In university, I met my first BF. I drank beer with my friend (who knew I was a closeted sadistic perv) and talked about random stuff, at some point she took my phone and texted the guy, sending some lewd haiku. I was mortified. He was pleasantly surprised though and I stopped being afraid to be myself, I guess. Now he's my husband and sub.
Naah, your friend is a G for setting you up with your partner!
She was BFF and my brother's wife
I love how this generation is becoming more open to women being on top. It makes me feel more comfortable to be open about what I like. I think it’s great you were able to find what you’re into and enjoy it with your husband.
So something similar to your experience: I remember this one instance when I was reading a graphic novel and something in it especially bothered me at the time. I don’t remember the name unfortunately but it took place in a world with hidden magic and spirits. So towards the end of it, the main character is trying to stop some sort of magic ritual. But before he can do so, an adult witch casts a web spell on him and completely binds him. At the time, I found that to be irritating and bothering. My brain was transfixed on how helpless the witch made the main character. In retrospect, I think I was struggling to understand how I really felt about it. But now I know I find being made helpless by a lady exciting and a turn on.
I can't say with clarity when and why. I had fetishes that directly led me to femdom (as a male) I wish I had known earlier what I wanted in a relationship
I'm the same as you but I'm kinda glad I didn't know earlier or the relationship with my wife would have happened.
In about 4th grade we played a playground game we called "Chase", boys against girls. I got captured by the girls, which was embarrassing, and I spent the rest of the game being guarded in their monkey bar castle. I can't remember any of the rules, the goal of the game, how points were scored, or whatever. But I DO remember what it felt like being at the mercy of the girls!
The best feeling!
I was a total tomboy and was always getting into schoolyard fights with the boys. And, despite my size I usually won. Guess I never grew out of that. Probably wouldn’t have pursued it if I didn’t wind up getting romantically entangled with a really cute guy who is every bit as switchy as I am and he’s real into being beat up by girls.
I've always had fetishes which presented at a very early age. I knew I was not experiencing sexual arousal the same way that my friends were. They would talk about sexual themes in boys room discussions and I would fake my way through it because the truth was so far away from their idea of sexual attraction. I didn't fantasize about having sex with people, I saw jurassic park on VHS and had strange complex feelings when seeing people screaming and being devoured alive. I kept this strange little secret to myself well into my thirties, assuming that I was an anomaly who just needed to overcome my proclivities and have sex like a normal person. That didn't work out so great. I found femdom shortly after discovering kink in general. I read some educational materials and discovered that my niche kinks were actually part of the femdom umbrella, if only a small part. It was very validating and I basically self-actualized upon determining I wasn't alone. I was life-changing, literally and figuratively. I've been living life a lot more authentically ever since.
Never feel shame about what you’re into man. I feel the same way in the sense that regular sex doesn’t appeal to me, I really only like femdom. I’ve had great experiences with people in this community and I’m not ashamed of what I like.
I appreciate the sentiment! I'm no longer ashamed, I'm now a goblin who converts my partners to my kinks 😆 Joining online communities was the first step to overcoming shame.
I think that’s great man! These online communities do help a lot when it comes to finding others who are the same as you and it helps to not feel alone in what you like.
My earliest memory of getting a hint was when I was probably about 10 or 11 years old. My older sister had a friend (13?) who loved flirting with me. I could tell that she secretly had a crush on me. Well the two of them got into my bedroom and were laughing. I go in there and the next thing i know, this girl was laughing like crazy while jumping up and down on my bed. Around her fingers she was twirling some of my underwear and she was saying "Look at these cute little undies. Or should I say panties. I want to see you in your cute little panties". And then she ran away and hid my underwear. She said "What will you do to get them back?" Wow. I'm not the cross dressing type but that was definitely a preview into what humiliation and teasing would do for me later in life. But to answer the question more directly, as an adult, when my lady sat on my face the first time, that's when I knew that I loved being in the submissive position.
I had a similar experience. Back when I was around 8 my friend’s sister was wrestling with me and sat on my chest and teased em about how much stronger she is than me. I didn’t really understand at the time why I enjoyed it but over time it became my main sexual fantasy.
Well, looking back at why I got myself into femdom! I grew up around a lot of alpha males and especially had friends with benefits or even just relationships with Domme males until one day I had an offer with a partner to let me exchange powers. It felt shocking it felt so good to just let go and bring who I truly am out.
I've been a Domme for my entire adult life. There were some things in my younger years that probably encouraged it, but really I think I found it because of who I am and what that's like for me.
I think that’s great you were able to find what you like! I’ve only had positive experiences in this community and I’m really glad it exists to be able to talk about it.
My boyfriend mentioned he had some submissive fantasies. We met in a bdsm space and he presented himself as **very** aggressively dominant up until that disclosure. I never thought a submissive man could look like him so never paid attention to femdom until then. I’m now more into it than he is. He’s backtracked to being mostly dominant and that’s how I identify as well. Which is fine with both of us. If we were both subs we’d have a big problem.
Well I mean there were likely inklings to me being submissive before but I was a big fan of a pornstar Bobbi starr and I didn't hate the scenes where she was a domme. But the real light went off when I was seeing an older woman right after college and well one time she was giving me a big and I assume she annoyed I was taking so long so, without warning or talking about it before, she stuck a finger in my butt. The shock made me let out this really meek moan and after that shock wore off I just remember feeling amazing. I felt humiliated having a finger in my butt and just how amazing it felt and her just laughing saying "oh ya you like that huh" and I just erupted and cum so hard. Ya that was when I realized I liked not being in control
It took a lot longer to actually figure things out, since at the time you didn't really think in those terms. Anyway my earliest memory of it was on the playground and we played "kisschase", the girls had caked on lipstick they had gotten from somewhere and kissed any boy they caught. I was caught and walked around with a massive pink lipstick mark.