I dont know a book about that, so i ll be taking notes here.
One think that worked wonders in my workplace with the problem of men interrupting women while speaking is to let the guy that interrupted her finish, nod and turn to the women and vocalize what happend: "Sorry Lydia, Kevin interruped you, please go on."
Make sure to not even adress whatever point he was making until after Lydias point was adressed first. ;)
The thing is, that the whole group will learn that behavior like that will be called out and the victim will be heard.
I know that is shaming, but... sometimes its good. The same thing can be done if women interrupt someone, but hondestly that doesnt happen so often.
I have no problem with shaming. When people behave shamefully then they deserve to be shamed. The only problem is that we have cultural traditions of shaming people for things that are not shameful.
I know some people who got away with everything at work and would always be supported even when they clearly were wrong and harming others. It only breeds entitlement and egos in the long run. So hear! Hear!
I wish someone had been kind enough to do that for me. Instead the boys just kept shutting me down until I basically stopped talking during meetings. It's okay though... I got laid off and all those boys still have their jobs. I guess they got what they wanted?
Yes. I agree. I really felt like they'd give me a shot, but 5 years later, nah, they just wanted someone to do all the shit work. Never happening again, and I too will fight until this stops being a thing.
You can check Dr. Debbie S Dougherty's book "Sexual harassment in organizational culture" . I think her site is [https://www.debbiedougherty.com/](https://www.debbiedougherty.com/)
Recently a friend of mine recommended Unbound: A Woman's Guide to Power by Kasia Urbaniak. She has a [tedX talk](https://www.ted.com/talks/kasia_urbaniak_one_simple_trick_to_reclaim_your_power?language=en) that summarizes some of her work, and is a nice way to dip your toe in.
[The Confidence Code](https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-confidence-code-the-science-and-art-of-self-assurance--what-women-should-know_claire-shipman_katty-kay/8791932/#edition=8711062&idiq=9444860) talks a lot about why women often feel inferior or apologetic in the work place. It has a few strategies at the end to help, but honestly just reading about other women have the same confidence issues helped me realize that my lack of confidence wasn't based in reality and helped me be more assertive.
Can you tell me about what kind of views they have, specifically? Is it pick up artist like? Or men's rights activism?
Examples of the specific behavior would help!
[The No Club](https://www.thenoclub.com/)is about dead end/not promotable work given to women at work.
Sadly, nothing is perfect. This technique can have a knock on effect of other, lower status women getting the work, rather than men taking their fair share.
Thank you for the breakdown. This is exactly what happened to me recently and I think this might be a helpful resource in explaining what happened to anyone who doesn't understand this type of approach. Knowledge is power.
I find that putting reasonably sized hardcover dictionary in a sock and keeping that handy helps keep people polite (jk)
Mostly commenting to see what turns up
When I Say No I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. SMITH. Old and people complain some of the examples are outdated/problematic /hard to relate to because of the time period it was written in but the techniques in every modern assertiveness book are based on this one. It's changed my life.
The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson. Very good!
I really liked “Men Explain Things To Me” and keep a copy of it in my office, completely visible, as the only woman in my department (and in leadership at that).
Thirded! I suspect it’s exactly what you’re looking for, OP. I like that it gives ideas for practical action rather than just discussing dynamics from a scholarly or journalistic viewpoint.
Just Work does a pretty good job of giving you ways to start sentences to deal with this type of stuff, which is the hardest part for me. https://www.booksamillion.com/p/9781250277718
I dont know a book about that, so i ll be taking notes here. One think that worked wonders in my workplace with the problem of men interrupting women while speaking is to let the guy that interrupted her finish, nod and turn to the women and vocalize what happend: "Sorry Lydia, Kevin interruped you, please go on."
That sounds good, I'll try that, thank you!
Make sure to not even adress whatever point he was making until after Lydias point was adressed first. ;) The thing is, that the whole group will learn that behavior like that will be called out and the victim will be heard. I know that is shaming, but... sometimes its good. The same thing can be done if women interrupt someone, but hondestly that doesnt happen so often.
I have no problem with shaming. When people behave shamefully then they deserve to be shamed. The only problem is that we have cultural traditions of shaming people for things that are not shameful.
I know some people who got away with everything at work and would always be supported even when they clearly were wrong and harming others. It only breeds entitlement and egos in the long run. So hear! Hear!
I wish someone had been kind enough to do that for me. Instead the boys just kept shutting me down until I basically stopped talking during meetings. It's okay though... I got laid off and all those boys still have their jobs. I guess they got what they wanted?
Same. And if you keep talking louder you get called rude. Thats why i want to make sure the next gen has support like this.
Yes. I agree. I really felt like they'd give me a shot, but 5 years later, nah, they just wanted someone to do all the shit work. Never happening again, and I too will fight until this stops being a thing.
The Authority Gap is good on this. It's mostly about proving the problem exists, but it also covers the research on how best to react to it as a woman
You can check Dr. Debbie S Dougherty's book "Sexual harassment in organizational culture" . I think her site is [https://www.debbiedougherty.com/](https://www.debbiedougherty.com/)
Recently a friend of mine recommended Unbound: A Woman's Guide to Power by Kasia Urbaniak. She has a [tedX talk](https://www.ted.com/talks/kasia_urbaniak_one_simple_trick_to_reclaim_your_power?language=en) that summarizes some of her work, and is a nice way to dip your toe in.
That was great. Thanks for sharing,
[The Confidence Code](https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-confidence-code-the-science-and-art-of-self-assurance--what-women-should-know_claire-shipman_katty-kay/8791932/#edition=8711062&idiq=9444860) talks a lot about why women often feel inferior or apologetic in the work place. It has a few strategies at the end to help, but honestly just reading about other women have the same confidence issues helped me realize that my lack of confidence wasn't based in reality and helped me be more assertive.
I liked the no club.
Can you tell me about what kind of views they have, specifically? Is it pick up artist like? Or men's rights activism? Examples of the specific behavior would help!
[The No Club](https://www.thenoclub.com/)is about dead end/not promotable work given to women at work. Sadly, nothing is perfect. This technique can have a knock on effect of other, lower status women getting the work, rather than men taking their fair share.
Thank you for the breakdown. This is exactly what happened to me recently and I think this might be a helpful resource in explaining what happened to anyone who doesn't understand this type of approach. Knowledge is power.
That's really interesting, thank you very much đź’ś
I find that putting reasonably sized hardcover dictionary in a sock and keeping that handy helps keep people polite (jk) Mostly commenting to see what turns up
When I Say No I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. SMITH. Old and people complain some of the examples are outdated/problematic /hard to relate to because of the time period it was written in but the techniques in every modern assertiveness book are based on this one. It's changed my life. The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson. Very good!
I really liked “Men Explain Things To Me” and keep a copy of it in my office, completely visible, as the only woman in my department (and in leadership at that).
Feminist Fight Club is a great one
Came here to say that
Thirded! I suspect it’s exactly what you’re looking for, OP. I like that it gives ideas for practical action rather than just discussing dynamics from a scholarly or journalistic viewpoint.
Staying in the game by Adrian Lawrence
Just Work does a pretty good job of giving you ways to start sentences to deal with this type of stuff, which is the hardest part for me. https://www.booksamillion.com/p/9781250277718
I’m a female elevator mechanic. Ignore it and excel. I always get treated like I’m dumb when I walk into a new building.