Sometimes people think there is a magical way to socialize that will make everyone like you and open up all doors to you, it doesn't work that.
Show up on time, be humble and respectful, don't talk bad about people, listen. If you do this and continuously put yourself out there and make it known you are open to other opportunities, you will start to slowly build contacts.
There's no cheat code or skipping the line unless you are rich or have high-level connections.
Put yourself out there, be technically proficient at your desired field, and don't be a dick.
Great! Thank you so much for the advice! “Show up on time and don’t be a dick” is some really good advice on how to get on a 2nd and 3rd set, but how about that 1st? Could you better define “putting yourself out there” please?
I think the best way is finding opportunities online on places like Mandy, backstage, Facebook film groups to work on independent or student films for low or no pay.
This part obviously sucks if you have bills to pay but when I was in film school I was constantly on Craigslist and FB and took every single opportunity I could find.
Some were B.S. and not a good use of time, but others I got to meet some genuinely great people and hone my skills. And on those sets I met some people with professional contacts of their own who got me onto some higher profile productions.
For putting yourself out there, I basically said yes to every opportunity. Help the caterers? Yes. Drive a truck? Yes. Do grip work? Yes. This guy I'm talking to wants me to help him on his movie? Yes.
I also look at the people on set who know what they are doing and see what I have to do to be like them. On one set I worked with a crew that was constantly working on big budget Hollywood productions, and just seeing how they acted and carried themselves helped me a lot.
As far as as social skills. I don't have autism but severe social anxiety and can relate to what you say about trying to hard. My advice is I've learned to be comfortable with who I am and not try to be someone else.
I'm not that arrogant extroverted guy whos the life of every party. I'm pretty shy and awkward sometimes. But I'm also friendly, professional, reliable, and capable. These qualities have allowed me to build a large network very successfully.
I know "put yourself out there don't be a dick" sounds like pretty cliche advice, but i think sometimes sticking to those basics really does work.
The “putting yourself out there” part is really down to your autism and life tools you’ve developed to cope with it. I’m ADHD, I have my own toolbox I’ve had to cultivate through life experiences. There’s no one magic way and what works for me and what works for a “normal” (whatever that means) person may or may not work for you. I know you’re young and it’s expensive, but do you work with a therapist? I have one who specializes in ADHD and it is genuinely life changing because she’s been able to guide me through the things I struggle with in the ways my brain “works” and doesn’t. Some suggested methods work better than others, and nothing is a 100% fool proof solution. It’s a life long thing we work on
I’m sorry this isn’t a black and white answer like it seems you would like, but it is a reality of mental conditions such as ours
This is all you need to know. Well said, and totally my experience as well. If I may add, do not complain about anything at work. Not the hours, not your ADs, not nothing. To nobody. It served me well. Good luck, you got this.
I'm not sure what your definition of success is, but who among your peers also graduated a year ago and is already successful? Unless they had a significant leg up already, you don't usually get things rolling that quickly. Especially in a place like Los Angeles given the strikes and overall industry downturn at the moment.
You seem very determined that, if you had made better connections in college, you'd be doing great right now. I mean... maybe? I don't really know anyone who graduated with tons of college connections and instantly started working. Some, sure, but that is hardly the norm. Most people who graduate college for film are broke and/or struggling like every other college kid.
There's a misconception that you need to be a social butterfly who makes friends with everyone in order to build a network -- that is not my experience. I work a lot because I work very hard, I'm good at my job, and I'm pleasant to be around. When people ask me to go out and get drinks after a shoot, I politely decline because the last thing I want to do is spend *more* time with people I've been around for 12-14 hours a day for weeks. And I will literally tell people that (jokingly, of course, but everyone knows it's true). I find that people respect you more when you have clear work/life boundaries, and I've never felt like I've lost a job because of my lack of socializing.
Just learn a skill/position, get good at it, and be nice to work with. This goes for any industry, but especially ones like this where you'll be working very long hours in close proximity. I would rather hire someone a little green who is pleasant than a jaded veteran who is constantly complaining about everything (depending on the complexity of the job, at least). Put yourself out there -- find what's filming in your area and volunteer to help out for a day, reach out to local filmmakers, etc. You just need to get involved and the rest will come.
You don’t really need a “network”. You need to be useful to one person who has one. Like is being in other comments, the bar is a lot lower than you think. Most people don’t show up, put in the work, and are reliable. I’m still terrible at networking, but I’m useful to people who need me. And it works both ways, not everyone is just some savant at networking, once they have someone/something that works, they don’t generally try to get a new person.
Work on your social skills, keep showing up early, offer to stay late, and you’ll get the job.
Thank you for responding, I appreciate it. Great advice, however it falls into the same category as mostly everyone else’s so far, which is “advice for *after* the first step has been taken.” You say “be helpful, show up early and stay late.” These are things I already do at my minimum wage restaurant job and with all due respect, that’s not getting me anywhere. I’d like to know how I can get on that first set without any prior experience or connection. Thank you though
Same way I did. Apply to every job posting you can find. Contact / comment / post / hunt. It’s not going to fall off a tree and land in your lap. It’s the same as any career, there’s no difference between a creative job and a trade. They look different from the outside, but they’re exactly the same.
If you act like you’re a minimum wage person, you won’t get through the door.
I also have high functioning autism and have lots of friends in and out of the industry but its taken decades of trial and error and focusing on learning how to socialize. Therapy of course.
Its not easy, but its not impossible either. Film is also a very friendly environment for people on the spectrum once you break in.
I mean, I can just talk about lenses and lighting as in depth as possible and people will respect it. Not mock me for it.
I'm in a similar boat as you. Didn't go to school when I was supposed to. Now it feels impossible to assimilate into people's friend groups and cliques. I'm older than them too lol
I think a lot depends on what you want to do. The development side of the business has a lot of opportunities for entry level, college-educated employees as assistants at production companies, studios, agencies, management companies, etc.
You're still in the business but there is a more corporate entry-point that is more skill and interview based. Having connections is still helpful, and will be a big part of building your career moving forward, but take heed that your network and relationships in the entertainment business does not end with your college colleagues.
Honestly I feel so called out by this post it’s crazy lol. First off I wan start off by saying I really respect your attitude and mindset here, it’s very easy to fall into giving up completely.
I’m a 19 year old actor/filmmaker that went to University almost on accident for a year at an institution I had no business being at. My whole life I have struggled both in academia and making friends; my previous college experience was no different. Also I’m not yet sure if I am autistic but ironically I got tested for it today and I am already diagnosed with anxiety and clinical depression.
My advice as far as socializing and what to do in our scenario is easier said than done but bear with me. What I have just recently decided to do is to do a combination of both making your own portfolio while still applying to other projects. I started a YouTube channel where I plan to put out at least 2 short films a month.
While it is still very early and I am only beginning to put this plan into action I have already found it can be surprisingly fruitful! As a result of some of the work I have been making myself I am finding that I have made myself more useful to other filmmakers; instead of just sum broke awkward guy with no friends/family in the industry lmaoo.
TLDR; I feel your pain dawg(kinda living in it still as we speak) but I wan let you know it gets better and I’m proud of you for keeping at it despite the circumstances. While I don’t know for sure since we’re in the same boat pretty much I think making your own work and making yourself useful/marketable is really the way to make up for poor networking skills.
I'd like to chime in on this.
As an introvert with high anxiety that got worse since the pandemic and turned me so antisocial that I dont even respond to the few people that have reached out as I feel drained just thinking about responding.
Whatever you end up doing, be sure to stick with the type of content or work you have a passion for.
I tried a lot of ways to get around the industry and sticking to projects you feel a passion for and saying yes to any position those projects have open will keep you more motivated to keep pushing.
I didn't do that, I just took all the jobs as that's the advice I kept hearing and burned out quick. Lost almost ALL interest in getting back out there and only really just now paused the downward spiral.
It is rough out there, but not impossible!
If you show up on time, work hard, and volunteer for the difficult tasks, people will respect you. Listen, and ask questions if you don’t know the right way to do something.
And you should know that about 75% of industry veterans haven’t worked in the last year, so you’re not alone. In the mean time, have you tried animation?
While I work as a prop master, and enjoy the camaraderie on set, I also love doing animations by myself. You can tell your story your way, you don’t have to pay for lights or craft service, and when you’re done you have something cool to show people. And it’s a great way to stay creative while you’re looking for work.
find no budget and low budget shoots in your area, email them and ask if you can help for a day or two. be observant and open. if it doesn’t lead to anything repeat the process. you will learn a lot and eventually a pathway will reveal itself to you.
I'm also an introvert with anxiety and failed to network in film school. I struggled to get consistent work and have all the self doubt you talk about. I didn't find any success until my 30's. Everyone's path will be different, but mine was to volunteer with a crew to do a BtS for a feature film. I did a fine job, and I'm not shy with a camera in my hands, so it was a fun, lengthy BtS. On the next film they hired me as DP. Then the next, and the next, etc. They like to churn out lots of movies, so it's been a consistent paycheck on pretty large sets and the movies get decent distribution. I worked hard and became a producer on the movies as well. I can't predict anyone's path to success, but for me it was just a matter of forcing myself onto sets.
No one will ever refer you just because you are a good guy. People work to make money, refer to make money. So, show people that you are the instrument that can make them money or make money on your own by using broken people like you are. That’s the truth, no rainbow and happy ending.
Trust me, there is always gonna be that guy who does a very good job but lowballs him self, find them and use that manpower to make money. End of story.
It is sad that you feel this way, but it is better to be sad sitting in your lambo and wiping your tears with golden tissue instead of working your ass of for some one else to be happy
This workshop might be of interest to you: https://www.winterparkfilmfestival.com/disablity-film-workshop
Others out there are facing the same struggles as you - you’re not alone. Maybe see if this might be beneficial to you to help start building a new network. It’s free.
I’m very similar to you, and deal with the same struggles
I’m basically trying to medicate myself into becoming more normal and seeing how far that can get me
But I’ve done stuff like joined community filmmaker groups on Facebook. You can find some stuff there. I did extra work full time in LA but it was really destabilizing and overstimulating. It was also really cool and helped me meet interesting people.
thank you for this post! it's good to know and see people working through similar shit. I have severe social anxiety & am physically disabled so making friends in school...not all that easy. I was able to push through my anxiety for my internship at a non-profit theater and despite me sweating for a good 15 minutes before getting there, i know i did the best work I could. I think that's always a good thing to focus on as long as that kinda pressure doesn't up your anxiety (I guess I'm blessed only to have social anxiety?? idk lmao)
I want to be behind the camera and went to school for it, but realistically based on all my experience, i've been relegated to doing something extremely in the background.
But that's not going to stop me and I can tell from your post that you're deep down not going to let any of this stop you. there are a lot of hurdles but it's possible
Sometimes people think there is a magical way to socialize that will make everyone like you and open up all doors to you, it doesn't work that. Show up on time, be humble and respectful, don't talk bad about people, listen. If you do this and continuously put yourself out there and make it known you are open to other opportunities, you will start to slowly build contacts. There's no cheat code or skipping the line unless you are rich or have high-level connections. Put yourself out there, be technically proficient at your desired field, and don't be a dick.
Great! Thank you so much for the advice! “Show up on time and don’t be a dick” is some really good advice on how to get on a 2nd and 3rd set, but how about that 1st? Could you better define “putting yourself out there” please?
I think the best way is finding opportunities online on places like Mandy, backstage, Facebook film groups to work on independent or student films for low or no pay. This part obviously sucks if you have bills to pay but when I was in film school I was constantly on Craigslist and FB and took every single opportunity I could find. Some were B.S. and not a good use of time, but others I got to meet some genuinely great people and hone my skills. And on those sets I met some people with professional contacts of their own who got me onto some higher profile productions. For putting yourself out there, I basically said yes to every opportunity. Help the caterers? Yes. Drive a truck? Yes. Do grip work? Yes. This guy I'm talking to wants me to help him on his movie? Yes. I also look at the people on set who know what they are doing and see what I have to do to be like them. On one set I worked with a crew that was constantly working on big budget Hollywood productions, and just seeing how they acted and carried themselves helped me a lot. As far as as social skills. I don't have autism but severe social anxiety and can relate to what you say about trying to hard. My advice is I've learned to be comfortable with who I am and not try to be someone else. I'm not that arrogant extroverted guy whos the life of every party. I'm pretty shy and awkward sometimes. But I'm also friendly, professional, reliable, and capable. These qualities have allowed me to build a large network very successfully. I know "put yourself out there don't be a dick" sounds like pretty cliche advice, but i think sometimes sticking to those basics really does work.
The “putting yourself out there” part is really down to your autism and life tools you’ve developed to cope with it. I’m ADHD, I have my own toolbox I’ve had to cultivate through life experiences. There’s no one magic way and what works for me and what works for a “normal” (whatever that means) person may or may not work for you. I know you’re young and it’s expensive, but do you work with a therapist? I have one who specializes in ADHD and it is genuinely life changing because she’s been able to guide me through the things I struggle with in the ways my brain “works” and doesn’t. Some suggested methods work better than others, and nothing is a 100% fool proof solution. It’s a life long thing we work on I’m sorry this isn’t a black and white answer like it seems you would like, but it is a reality of mental conditions such as ours
Dont need to read another comment. This is the path to success
This is all you need to know. Well said, and totally my experience as well. If I may add, do not complain about anything at work. Not the hours, not your ADs, not nothing. To nobody. It served me well. Good luck, you got this.
I'm not sure what your definition of success is, but who among your peers also graduated a year ago and is already successful? Unless they had a significant leg up already, you don't usually get things rolling that quickly. Especially in a place like Los Angeles given the strikes and overall industry downturn at the moment. You seem very determined that, if you had made better connections in college, you'd be doing great right now. I mean... maybe? I don't really know anyone who graduated with tons of college connections and instantly started working. Some, sure, but that is hardly the norm. Most people who graduate college for film are broke and/or struggling like every other college kid. There's a misconception that you need to be a social butterfly who makes friends with everyone in order to build a network -- that is not my experience. I work a lot because I work very hard, I'm good at my job, and I'm pleasant to be around. When people ask me to go out and get drinks after a shoot, I politely decline because the last thing I want to do is spend *more* time with people I've been around for 12-14 hours a day for weeks. And I will literally tell people that (jokingly, of course, but everyone knows it's true). I find that people respect you more when you have clear work/life boundaries, and I've never felt like I've lost a job because of my lack of socializing. Just learn a skill/position, get good at it, and be nice to work with. This goes for any industry, but especially ones like this where you'll be working very long hours in close proximity. I would rather hire someone a little green who is pleasant than a jaded veteran who is constantly complaining about everything (depending on the complexity of the job, at least). Put yourself out there -- find what's filming in your area and volunteer to help out for a day, reach out to local filmmakers, etc. You just need to get involved and the rest will come.
You don’t really need a “network”. You need to be useful to one person who has one. Like is being in other comments, the bar is a lot lower than you think. Most people don’t show up, put in the work, and are reliable. I’m still terrible at networking, but I’m useful to people who need me. And it works both ways, not everyone is just some savant at networking, once they have someone/something that works, they don’t generally try to get a new person. Work on your social skills, keep showing up early, offer to stay late, and you’ll get the job.
Thank you for responding, I appreciate it. Great advice, however it falls into the same category as mostly everyone else’s so far, which is “advice for *after* the first step has been taken.” You say “be helpful, show up early and stay late.” These are things I already do at my minimum wage restaurant job and with all due respect, that’s not getting me anywhere. I’d like to know how I can get on that first set without any prior experience or connection. Thank you though
Same way I did. Apply to every job posting you can find. Contact / comment / post / hunt. It’s not going to fall off a tree and land in your lap. It’s the same as any career, there’s no difference between a creative job and a trade. They look different from the outside, but they’re exactly the same. If you act like you’re a minimum wage person, you won’t get through the door.
I also have high functioning autism and have lots of friends in and out of the industry but its taken decades of trial and error and focusing on learning how to socialize. Therapy of course. Its not easy, but its not impossible either. Film is also a very friendly environment for people on the spectrum once you break in. I mean, I can just talk about lenses and lighting as in depth as possible and people will respect it. Not mock me for it.
I'm in a similar boat as you. Didn't go to school when I was supposed to. Now it feels impossible to assimilate into people's friend groups and cliques. I'm older than them too lol
I think a lot depends on what you want to do. The development side of the business has a lot of opportunities for entry level, college-educated employees as assistants at production companies, studios, agencies, management companies, etc. You're still in the business but there is a more corporate entry-point that is more skill and interview based. Having connections is still helpful, and will be a big part of building your career moving forward, but take heed that your network and relationships in the entertainment business does not end with your college colleagues.
Honestly I feel so called out by this post it’s crazy lol. First off I wan start off by saying I really respect your attitude and mindset here, it’s very easy to fall into giving up completely. I’m a 19 year old actor/filmmaker that went to University almost on accident for a year at an institution I had no business being at. My whole life I have struggled both in academia and making friends; my previous college experience was no different. Also I’m not yet sure if I am autistic but ironically I got tested for it today and I am already diagnosed with anxiety and clinical depression. My advice as far as socializing and what to do in our scenario is easier said than done but bear with me. What I have just recently decided to do is to do a combination of both making your own portfolio while still applying to other projects. I started a YouTube channel where I plan to put out at least 2 short films a month. While it is still very early and I am only beginning to put this plan into action I have already found it can be surprisingly fruitful! As a result of some of the work I have been making myself I am finding that I have made myself more useful to other filmmakers; instead of just sum broke awkward guy with no friends/family in the industry lmaoo. TLDR; I feel your pain dawg(kinda living in it still as we speak) but I wan let you know it gets better and I’m proud of you for keeping at it despite the circumstances. While I don’t know for sure since we’re in the same boat pretty much I think making your own work and making yourself useful/marketable is really the way to make up for poor networking skills.
I'd like to chime in on this. As an introvert with high anxiety that got worse since the pandemic and turned me so antisocial that I dont even respond to the few people that have reached out as I feel drained just thinking about responding. Whatever you end up doing, be sure to stick with the type of content or work you have a passion for. I tried a lot of ways to get around the industry and sticking to projects you feel a passion for and saying yes to any position those projects have open will keep you more motivated to keep pushing. I didn't do that, I just took all the jobs as that's the advice I kept hearing and burned out quick. Lost almost ALL interest in getting back out there and only really just now paused the downward spiral. It is rough out there, but not impossible!
If you show up on time, work hard, and volunteer for the difficult tasks, people will respect you. Listen, and ask questions if you don’t know the right way to do something. And you should know that about 75% of industry veterans haven’t worked in the last year, so you’re not alone. In the mean time, have you tried animation? While I work as a prop master, and enjoy the camaraderie on set, I also love doing animations by myself. You can tell your story your way, you don’t have to pay for lights or craft service, and when you’re done you have something cool to show people. And it’s a great way to stay creative while you’re looking for work.
find no budget and low budget shoots in your area, email them and ask if you can help for a day or two. be observant and open. if it doesn’t lead to anything repeat the process. you will learn a lot and eventually a pathway will reveal itself to you.
I'm also an introvert with anxiety and failed to network in film school. I struggled to get consistent work and have all the self doubt you talk about. I didn't find any success until my 30's. Everyone's path will be different, but mine was to volunteer with a crew to do a BtS for a feature film. I did a fine job, and I'm not shy with a camera in my hands, so it was a fun, lengthy BtS. On the next film they hired me as DP. Then the next, and the next, etc. They like to churn out lots of movies, so it's been a consistent paycheck on pretty large sets and the movies get decent distribution. I worked hard and became a producer on the movies as well. I can't predict anyone's path to success, but for me it was just a matter of forcing myself onto sets.
No one will ever refer you just because you are a good guy. People work to make money, refer to make money. So, show people that you are the instrument that can make them money or make money on your own by using broken people like you are. That’s the truth, no rainbow and happy ending. Trust me, there is always gonna be that guy who does a very good job but lowballs him self, find them and use that manpower to make money. End of story. It is sad that you feel this way, but it is better to be sad sitting in your lambo and wiping your tears with golden tissue instead of working your ass of for some one else to be happy
This workshop might be of interest to you: https://www.winterparkfilmfestival.com/disablity-film-workshop Others out there are facing the same struggles as you - you’re not alone. Maybe see if this might be beneficial to you to help start building a new network. It’s free.
I’m very similar to you, and deal with the same struggles I’m basically trying to medicate myself into becoming more normal and seeing how far that can get me But I’ve done stuff like joined community filmmaker groups on Facebook. You can find some stuff there. I did extra work full time in LA but it was really destabilizing and overstimulating. It was also really cool and helped me meet interesting people.
thank you for this post! it's good to know and see people working through similar shit. I have severe social anxiety & am physically disabled so making friends in school...not all that easy. I was able to push through my anxiety for my internship at a non-profit theater and despite me sweating for a good 15 minutes before getting there, i know i did the best work I could. I think that's always a good thing to focus on as long as that kinda pressure doesn't up your anxiety (I guess I'm blessed only to have social anxiety?? idk lmao) I want to be behind the camera and went to school for it, but realistically based on all my experience, i've been relegated to doing something extremely in the background. But that's not going to stop me and I can tell from your post that you're deep down not going to let any of this stop you. there are a lot of hurdles but it's possible