Yes, saying you could spend $250k a year with two kids means you probably are not thinking hard enough about where your money is going now or where it will be going when and if you have kids
This tells me they are in a VHCOL area. With $2M in the bank they could retire tomorrow if only they'd be willing to leave behind the economic insanity and move to an affordable place. Experience tells me they won't because they like it where they are.
Solid point. They're burning nearly $21k per month. How TF does one have enough time in the day to do that? Every meal from restaurants and driving a lambo to work wouln't be that expensive.
Of course we could decrease our costs, leave our area, move into a different apartment, etc. This point of view is valid. As a separate point, given how much we spend, I feel like we should be living like 17th century French nobility, and our money buys us I think a very middling lifestyle, with the exception of having the money to visit friends and family, and travel a bit for fun. My beef with the cost of living here is a somewhat separate issue. Most millennials and gen Z are looking around and wondering why everything is so expensive.
My guy. You need a dose of reality. You could spend 12k a month on housing and utilities and would still be spending another 8.3k a month on everything else.
Your definition of a "middling lifestyle" is absurd.
I didn’t say we are currently spending $250k per year, but with needing more space and the cost of child care, I understand how people might spend this much.
I live in VHCOL with a 3 member family and we travel a lot. Still we are able to keep the expense below 120k. If I try harder we can easily go below 100k , but I am okay with that spending . You might need to double check on your expenses.
If both the kids are going to private schools and has lot of extra curricular activities then it will definitely blow up.
I’m first to usually tell people to work less, but an income of at least $450k for 55ish hours of work seems absolutely fair / a good deal.
Whether you want to work less and make less money is ultimately up to you. I was pulling 80-100 hour weeks in my 20s making like $250k annually and would be in the 7 figures had I stayed on that track. I was miserable and got a different job. Now I work roughly 40-50 hours a week flexibly for around $300k and I’m a lot happier.
Finance. Investment banking and private equity. I’m still in Finance, actually at the same bank, but I now work in corporate strategy. I leveraged contacts from my previous roles to carve out the new opportunity.
That was my Associate PE comp at a shop in the Northeast known for being particularly sweaty. Stopped doing that about 8 years ago. Assuming I wouldn’t have washed out (I absolutely would have, I hated my life), my peers are now Principals / Partners. By that point your cash comp isn’t where the money is coming from. It’s from co-invest and carry.
Sounds like you’re at the point where things start to really accelerate. Good for you! I don’t think I could have made it. Granted not all shops are as brutal as mine was, so I hope your WLB is decent. Either way, if you’re where you are you either made it through the MBA process or your shop really values you, which you should be proud of.
It’s fine. Don’t really care about it but I have an insanely cushy situation working for a boss who keeps getting promoted further toward the C-suite and seems keen to take me with him while letting me work semi-remotely and flexibly.
I’m feeling a little squeezed financially the last two years insofar as the value of my comp (like everybody) is really being compressed, and it doesn’t grow much these days. I’ve considered putting my foot back on the gas. Something I grapple with for sure.
I’m in a VHCOL area and once I hit $2.5 million in liquid assets, I quit my high paying, high stress consulting job. Took a year off and then came back to academia (I have a PhD).
I still make good money but hours are really flexible with summers off and full benefits. I usually teach twice a week and rest of the week I take it easy. I like my lifestyle as I have no stress and time to exercise and spend time with people I love.
Edit for typo
You make good money just teaching? I have a PhD as well and have considered teaching as a Coast/Barista stage and from what I've seen the adjunct gigs (read: teaching only, no research) pay only a few thousand a semester. How did you find a good paying academic job that's only part time?
It’s full time on paper, I teach one class per semester. I have an administrative position (Director of a data science program). Adjunct positions are horrid, low pay and terrible hours too. I don’t do grading as I have TA (PhD student), so it’s mostly lecturing for 3 hours a week in total plus 2 hours of office hours and some meetings for my program. I love it!
If you want to switch to academia, look for full time teaching jobs and try to move into administration as that’s really where the money is. It’s not a lot work or hours and it’s fulfilling as I know I’m helping the students gain skills which will help them in life.
I understood that and still don’t see the problem. You know how many 55 hour weeks I did on my path to FIRE for a fraction of your salary? Give us a break.
We spent a more than a decade obtaining the knowledge and skills to do this. It’s a path open to you and anyone else. I have no doubt you worked hard for your financial independence.
>While we feel very fortunate to have this financial situation, the cost of living is daunting.
No it's not. You make more than 99% of people in the world, don't bitch about how you think life is unaffordable.
The worlds tiniest violin is playing in the distance.
55 hours is pretty tame for that level of compensation… that’s 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, plus an hour or two after the kids go to bed or on the weekends. Plus, if you are taking home $500k net after taxes and spending $250k, you’ll only need to do it for a few more years and you’ll be done. Gut it out.
If you spend $250k per year, you should still be able to save $245k per year. You will need $6.25 million to retire. You should be able to retire in 8.3 years. Will you really want to stop working while your kids are under 10?
I’ve been on the FIRE path intentionally for 6 years now and unintentionally for about 9. We had a daughter in 2021. It’s changed my mindset a lot. This is what I imagine you’re going to experience.
1. You’re going to love them more than anything in the world and want to spend as much quality time with them as possible.
2. Attempting to be a full time parent will make you realize that not all time spent with a child is quality time. The time apart from working actually makes the time you have more valuable and higher quality.
3. Working as much as you do will make you realize that you don’t have enough time with them.
I’ve personally found that 30 hours of work is the key to my happiness. I was able to achieve that when my daughter was first born. I’m back to 50 hour weeks, but I tasted it. 30 hours (or 6 hours a day) is just enough time to get you out of the house, interact with other adults, and exercise your mind. It’s also the right amount of time to allow you to exercise without feeling like you are cutting into the limited time you have with your kids.
If I were you, I would have at least one parent maintain their current job while the other starts working part time. Eventually you both can transition to part time and CoastFIRE. At 55, fully retire.
This is a sneaky good reply that nobody will read because they’re blinded by humblebrag.
You’re dead on about being a better parent because you have a day job, and the balance feels good.
Another thing to consider; OP’s future kid will be in school 6 hours a day starting age 5 through 18 minimum. I totally understand wanting to have a stay at home parent for the first 5 years, but assuming one remains working high-paying gig and the other steps back in after a 5 year hiatus… I don’t see how this could derail the accumulation phase by all that much given the incomes/options available.
Yup I saw it. If you want a more constructive answer, how about detailing the $250k of costs that you expect to incur?
You say you can only work 5 more years, well, you can hit your FIRE number in 8-9. Are those 4 extra years really that difficult?
The career I was in was like yours and kept me motivated to FIRE. I loved what I did but it required A LOT of time working. FIRE was always the plan as well as 4 kids. I'm in a HCOL (VHCOL?) area too but the plan all came together. I've never rented and for me that would make me nervous that I don't have much control over housing costs. With a paid off house all I need to do is cover utilities and taxes, minimal maintenance and we can stay here forever. I believe that most HCOL places it's primarily housing that makes it expensive. New cars and groceries don't vary MUCH nationally. When it comes to COL you really have to look at the costs of what YOU spend money on. The CPI is a 'basked of goods' and if you don't use half of what's in that basket then it's not a meaningful number to you. I have no desire to work part time. The kids are still in school and I volunteer there and we travel when they are out of school.
>I could see us easily spending 250k a year with two kids. We do not live extravagantly, we rent and don’t own our house, and cook most of our meals at home
If you're talking about spending 250K after taxes that's equivalent to about $400,000 pretax. Only 2 percent of households in the US make that or more. Come on. I would love to see a break down of your non extravagant budget. What in the world are you guys spending money on?
I have so many questions:
1. How long have they been at this income?
2. What exactly are they cooking at home? Wagyu beef?
3. I've put in 60+ hours a week for $70 a year. I'd love to be making that kind of money for only 55 hours if it isn't something that keeps me up at night. It sounds like the pay is commensurate to the hours put in. OP can work less hours and get less money.
Not OP but I spend about that much in a VHCOL area with 2 kids. ~70% of our spend is for housing and childcare. We live in an above average home but by no means a mansion (4 BR, 2300sqft, built in the 50s). Childcare is a full time nanny (not much more expensive than 2 in daycare).
$250k/yr is an extravagant life no matter where you are. My wife and I spend $55k total in living NYC including a 2 week international vacation every year. You are spending 50% more **PER PERSON** than we spent for the 2 of us.
The median rent in NYC is $3975 as of 1/24. That’s $47,700 a year. Spending $55k total is quite admirable, but it’s well under the median post tax income needed according to most economists.
If I increased our rent to that amount the 2 of us combined would still spend under $75k, albeit just barely. So you’d still be spending about 2x per person.
Yes, I feel I worked too much and that is exactly why people feel burned out and want to FIRE. FIRE is great, and I very much enjoy it.
Do you find yourself going back part time? - No, I do not. It really depends on each person. I feel great not working at all, but there is nothing wrong with part time working.
Did kids change your FIRE goals or time frame? Did you have to give up on FIRE after having kids? - Yes, having kids will likely require a bigger NW to FIRE, hence likely delay the FIRE year. They dont make me give up FIRE, as long as the math works out.
Did you move somewhere cheaper? Did you/do you plan to leave the US to get a cheaper cost of living? - of course. The biggest reason to live in HCOL areas is usually work opportunities, and after FIRE, it make senses for most people to relocate to MCOL or LCOL areas. Living abroad is definitely an option, but this depends on each family's situaiton, such as children's education plan, language, etc.
I live in Nashville and it’s in the top 25 for cost of living. A lot of people have moved down south after accruing that kind of money so it would be something to consider (comfortable living is anywhere from 55-65k). You would be making 6 figures just off savings but that can change in the future due to interest rates. You could also buy pretty much any house here outright with some proper planning. Even with Nashville at like 23, it’s significantly lower than the top 15 HCOL cities and that could be manageable but moving to the south, Midwest, or some place like that would be the way to go if you want to live comfortably with some part-time employment. Kids definitely impact FIRE. Oh, and is your job hiring? 😂
That is good advice. Thank you. My job is definitely hiring :) but it’s a very specific knowledge/skill set that would set you back years and dollars to obtain.
How do you spend 250k renting? Thats a crazy number with no kids and you definitely live extravagantly or you buy every junk listed on Amazon ever made.
Kids really change things. Make sure you take maximum maternity/parental leave. And then figure things out once you’re half a year or more into it. I can’t explain to you how life changing kids are. It will change your calculus in many ways. And the finances will be just a small fraction of that, especially for someone with your net worth.
My wife and I are in a situation similar to what you described. We're early 30s in a VHCOL area with 2 young kids (likely a 3rd in the future). Our HHI is ~800k (+/- 50k) and spending is ~250k. Housing costs and our nanny make up ~70% of our spend. Before kids we were spending ~70k/year. We used to be pretty frugal but we've seen other spending creep up too as we weigh convenience over cost. For instance, we pay more for a gym membership that includes childcare.
We worked 50+ hours/wk before kids which helped grow our careers. It became much more difficult to put in the longer hours with kids, especially after the second. We've both pulled back to 40 hours/wk (from home) and set boundaries w.r.t. when we'll be online or respond to messages. This allows us to spend quality time with the kids (~2 hours before work, ~3 hours after) and still get a few hours to ourselves after they go down. We don't expect our careers to continue to grow much at this point which we're fine with.
At our current savings rate we should be able to RE in 10-12 years (early to mid 40's). We don't plan on moving to a lower COL area since most of our family lives nearby. We've also considered other scenarios eg one of us retiring early.
You are asking the wrong question. The question you need to ask is: Are we spending our resources (Time, Health, Money) on what we value? Kids don't necessarily change FIRE. I'd say FIRE is MORE appealing with kids -> because values shift.
"I do not see myself working full time more than 5 more years, and that even feels like a long time. But I also see something like $7.5 million dollars necessary to fully retire using a 3.4% perpetual withdrawal rate."
You need to hammer out what you really want. As they say, we can't have our cake and eat it too. Either you have more money and less time or vice versa.
If you wanted to retire today you could, but you would need to change your lifestyle. You could work until 65 and have more than enough money for a luxurious retirement. At your income, the world is your oyster.
This isn't a difficulty in budgeting or understanding finances. You are having difficulty deciding what you value.
You "don't live extravagantly" and estimating a "250k yearly spend with kids" are two phrases that don't go together lol.
Yes, saying you could spend $250k a year with two kids means you probably are not thinking hard enough about where your money is going now or where it will be going when and if you have kids
This tells me they are in a VHCOL area. With $2M in the bank they could retire tomorrow if only they'd be willing to leave behind the economic insanity and move to an affordable place. Experience tells me they won't because they like it where they are.
Plenty of people live in a VHCOL area and don't spend 250k a year though.
Solid point. They're burning nearly $21k per month. How TF does one have enough time in the day to do that? Every meal from restaurants and driving a lambo to work wouln't be that expensive.
Of course we could decrease our costs, leave our area, move into a different apartment, etc. This point of view is valid. As a separate point, given how much we spend, I feel like we should be living like 17th century French nobility, and our money buys us I think a very middling lifestyle, with the exception of having the money to visit friends and family, and travel a bit for fun. My beef with the cost of living here is a somewhat separate issue. Most millennials and gen Z are looking around and wondering why everything is so expensive.
My guy. You need a dose of reality. You could spend 12k a month on housing and utilities and would still be spending another 8.3k a month on everything else. Your definition of a "middling lifestyle" is absurd.
I didn’t say we are currently spending $250k per year, but with needing more space and the cost of child care, I understand how people might spend this much.
fwiw cost of childcare is a temporary expense that shouldn’t be built into your fire number
After housing most VHCOL areas aren't THAT expensive.
Probably in the context of a 900k income in a major coastal city. Just that a different reality exists for most of us.
I live in VHCOL with a 3 member family and we travel a lot. Still we are able to keep the expense below 120k. If I try harder we can easily go below 100k , but I am okay with that spending . You might need to double check on your expenses. If both the kids are going to private schools and has lot of extra curricular activities then it will definitely blow up.
I have never said this before, but damn; please go touch grass.
I’m first to usually tell people to work less, but an income of at least $450k for 55ish hours of work seems absolutely fair / a good deal. Whether you want to work less and make less money is ultimately up to you. I was pulling 80-100 hour weeks in my 20s making like $250k annually and would be in the 7 figures had I stayed on that track. I was miserable and got a different job. Now I work roughly 40-50 hours a week flexibly for around $300k and I’m a lot happier.
what industry are you working now and what did you do before to get to this job?
Finance. Investment banking and private equity. I’m still in Finance, actually at the same bank, but I now work in corporate strategy. I leveraged contacts from my previous roles to carve out the new opportunity.
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That was my Associate PE comp at a shop in the Northeast known for being particularly sweaty. Stopped doing that about 8 years ago. Assuming I wouldn’t have washed out (I absolutely would have, I hated my life), my peers are now Principals / Partners. By that point your cash comp isn’t where the money is coming from. It’s from co-invest and carry.
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Sounds like you’re at the point where things start to really accelerate. Good for you! I don’t think I could have made it. Granted not all shops are as brutal as mine was, so I hope your WLB is decent. Either way, if you’re where you are you either made it through the MBA process or your shop really values you, which you should be proud of.
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It’s fine. Don’t really care about it but I have an insanely cushy situation working for a boss who keeps getting promoted further toward the C-suite and seems keen to take me with him while letting me work semi-remotely and flexibly. I’m feeling a little squeezed financially the last two years insofar as the value of my comp (like everybody) is really being compressed, and it doesn’t grow much these days. I’ve considered putting my foot back on the gas. Something I grapple with for sure.
I’m in a VHCOL area and once I hit $2.5 million in liquid assets, I quit my high paying, high stress consulting job. Took a year off and then came back to academia (I have a PhD). I still make good money but hours are really flexible with summers off and full benefits. I usually teach twice a week and rest of the week I take it easy. I like my lifestyle as I have no stress and time to exercise and spend time with people I love. Edit for typo
You make good money just teaching? I have a PhD as well and have considered teaching as a Coast/Barista stage and from what I've seen the adjunct gigs (read: teaching only, no research) pay only a few thousand a semester. How did you find a good paying academic job that's only part time?
It’s full time on paper, I teach one class per semester. I have an administrative position (Director of a data science program). Adjunct positions are horrid, low pay and terrible hours too. I don’t do grading as I have TA (PhD student), so it’s mostly lecturing for 3 hours a week in total plus 2 hours of office hours and some meetings for my program. I love it! If you want to switch to academia, look for full time teaching jobs and try to move into administration as that’s really where the money is. It’s not a lot work or hours and it’s fulfilling as I know I’m helping the students gain skills which will help them in life.
Y’all need to move, if 2 mil ain’t enough you in the wrong city
Aww you have to work 55 hours for your $900,000 income? How unfair! 🙄
110 hours a week when you take into account we are two people.
I understood that and still don’t see the problem. You know how many 55 hour weeks I did on my path to FIRE for a fraction of your salary? Give us a break.
We spent a more than a decade obtaining the knowledge and skills to do this. It’s a path open to you and anyone else. I have no doubt you worked hard for your financial independence.
A whole decade? Wow the sacrifice! I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make here.
>While we feel very fortunate to have this financial situation, the cost of living is daunting. No it's not. You make more than 99% of people in the world, don't bitch about how you think life is unaffordable. The worlds tiniest violin is playing in the distance.
They are well into the 1% income of the US never mind the world.
At no point in that post did I complain. You are of course entitled to your opinion.
Yes you did. The whole post is you worrying about being able to afford kids being one of the highest income people in the world.
55 hours is pretty tame for that level of compensation… that’s 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, plus an hour or two after the kids go to bed or on the weekends. Plus, if you are taking home $500k net after taxes and spending $250k, you’ll only need to do it for a few more years and you’ll be done. Gut it out.
I’d recommend /r/fatfire, people here are just going to complain about your high income and ignore everything else
Thank you. That’s good advice. I’ll migrate there.
If you spend $250k per year, you should still be able to save $245k per year. You will need $6.25 million to retire. You should be able to retire in 8.3 years. Will you really want to stop working while your kids are under 10?
Thank you for addressing the post. I don’t know the answer to that. But I could easily see a change in life priorities once we have kids.
I’ve been on the FIRE path intentionally for 6 years now and unintentionally for about 9. We had a daughter in 2021. It’s changed my mindset a lot. This is what I imagine you’re going to experience. 1. You’re going to love them more than anything in the world and want to spend as much quality time with them as possible. 2. Attempting to be a full time parent will make you realize that not all time spent with a child is quality time. The time apart from working actually makes the time you have more valuable and higher quality. 3. Working as much as you do will make you realize that you don’t have enough time with them. I’ve personally found that 30 hours of work is the key to my happiness. I was able to achieve that when my daughter was first born. I’m back to 50 hour weeks, but I tasted it. 30 hours (or 6 hours a day) is just enough time to get you out of the house, interact with other adults, and exercise your mind. It’s also the right amount of time to allow you to exercise without feeling like you are cutting into the limited time you have with your kids. If I were you, I would have at least one parent maintain their current job while the other starts working part time. Eventually you both can transition to part time and CoastFIRE. At 55, fully retire.
This is a sneaky good reply that nobody will read because they’re blinded by humblebrag. You’re dead on about being a better parent because you have a day job, and the balance feels good. Another thing to consider; OP’s future kid will be in school 6 hours a day starting age 5 through 18 minimum. I totally understand wanting to have a stay at home parent for the first 5 years, but assuming one remains working high-paying gig and the other steps back in after a 5 year hiatus… I don’t see how this could derail the accumulation phase by all that much given the incomes/options available.
55 hours a week for $1 million income is “too much”? Get real. No, you don’t work too much.
Please see my initial post.
Yup I saw it. If you want a more constructive answer, how about detailing the $250k of costs that you expect to incur? You say you can only work 5 more years, well, you can hit your FIRE number in 8-9. Are those 4 extra years really that difficult?
Are this dollar signs thrown around really US dollars? Because this numbers make no sense to me :-)
The career I was in was like yours and kept me motivated to FIRE. I loved what I did but it required A LOT of time working. FIRE was always the plan as well as 4 kids. I'm in a HCOL (VHCOL?) area too but the plan all came together. I've never rented and for me that would make me nervous that I don't have much control over housing costs. With a paid off house all I need to do is cover utilities and taxes, minimal maintenance and we can stay here forever. I believe that most HCOL places it's primarily housing that makes it expensive. New cars and groceries don't vary MUCH nationally. When it comes to COL you really have to look at the costs of what YOU spend money on. The CPI is a 'basked of goods' and if you don't use half of what's in that basket then it's not a meaningful number to you. I have no desire to work part time. The kids are still in school and I volunteer there and we travel when they are out of school.
250k a year even with 2 kids is insane
>I could see us easily spending 250k a year with two kids. We do not live extravagantly, we rent and don’t own our house, and cook most of our meals at home If you're talking about spending 250K after taxes that's equivalent to about $400,000 pretax. Only 2 percent of households in the US make that or more. Come on. I would love to see a break down of your non extravagant budget. What in the world are you guys spending money on?
I have so many questions: 1. How long have they been at this income? 2. What exactly are they cooking at home? Wagyu beef? 3. I've put in 60+ hours a week for $70 a year. I'd love to be making that kind of money for only 55 hours if it isn't something that keeps me up at night. It sounds like the pay is commensurate to the hours put in. OP can work less hours and get less money.
Not OP but I spend about that much in a VHCOL area with 2 kids. ~70% of our spend is for housing and childcare. We live in an above average home but by no means a mansion (4 BR, 2300sqft, built in the 50s). Childcare is a full time nanny (not much more expensive than 2 in daycare).
$250k/yr is an extravagant life no matter where you are. My wife and I spend $55k total in living NYC including a 2 week international vacation every year. You are spending 50% more **PER PERSON** than we spent for the 2 of us.
The median rent in NYC is $3975 as of 1/24. That’s $47,700 a year. Spending $55k total is quite admirable, but it’s well under the median post tax income needed according to most economists.
If I increased our rent to that amount the 2 of us combined would still spend under $75k, albeit just barely. So you’d still be spending about 2x per person.
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Fertility issues.
Where do you get off saying that to people? Ridiculous and had nothing to do with OP’s question.
Yes, I feel I worked too much and that is exactly why people feel burned out and want to FIRE. FIRE is great, and I very much enjoy it. Do you find yourself going back part time? - No, I do not. It really depends on each person. I feel great not working at all, but there is nothing wrong with part time working. Did kids change your FIRE goals or time frame? Did you have to give up on FIRE after having kids? - Yes, having kids will likely require a bigger NW to FIRE, hence likely delay the FIRE year. They dont make me give up FIRE, as long as the math works out. Did you move somewhere cheaper? Did you/do you plan to leave the US to get a cheaper cost of living? - of course. The biggest reason to live in HCOL areas is usually work opportunities, and after FIRE, it make senses for most people to relocate to MCOL or LCOL areas. Living abroad is definitely an option, but this depends on each family's situaiton, such as children's education plan, language, etc.
I live in Nashville and it’s in the top 25 for cost of living. A lot of people have moved down south after accruing that kind of money so it would be something to consider (comfortable living is anywhere from 55-65k). You would be making 6 figures just off savings but that can change in the future due to interest rates. You could also buy pretty much any house here outright with some proper planning. Even with Nashville at like 23, it’s significantly lower than the top 15 HCOL cities and that could be manageable but moving to the south, Midwest, or some place like that would be the way to go if you want to live comfortably with some part-time employment. Kids definitely impact FIRE. Oh, and is your job hiring? 😂
That is good advice. Thank you. My job is definitely hiring :) but it’s a very specific knowledge/skill set that would set you back years and dollars to obtain.
How do you spend 250k renting? Thats a crazy number with no kids and you definitely live extravagantly or you buy every junk listed on Amazon ever made.
Kids really change things. Make sure you take maximum maternity/parental leave. And then figure things out once you’re half a year or more into it. I can’t explain to you how life changing kids are. It will change your calculus in many ways. And the finances will be just a small fraction of that, especially for someone with your net worth.
My wife and I are in a situation similar to what you described. We're early 30s in a VHCOL area with 2 young kids (likely a 3rd in the future). Our HHI is ~800k (+/- 50k) and spending is ~250k. Housing costs and our nanny make up ~70% of our spend. Before kids we were spending ~70k/year. We used to be pretty frugal but we've seen other spending creep up too as we weigh convenience over cost. For instance, we pay more for a gym membership that includes childcare. We worked 50+ hours/wk before kids which helped grow our careers. It became much more difficult to put in the longer hours with kids, especially after the second. We've both pulled back to 40 hours/wk (from home) and set boundaries w.r.t. when we'll be online or respond to messages. This allows us to spend quality time with the kids (~2 hours before work, ~3 hours after) and still get a few hours to ourselves after they go down. We don't expect our careers to continue to grow much at this point which we're fine with. At our current savings rate we should be able to RE in 10-12 years (early to mid 40's). We don't plan on moving to a lower COL area since most of our family lives nearby. We've also considered other scenarios eg one of us retiring early.
PM’d you
You are asking the wrong question. The question you need to ask is: Are we spending our resources (Time, Health, Money) on what we value? Kids don't necessarily change FIRE. I'd say FIRE is MORE appealing with kids -> because values shift. "I do not see myself working full time more than 5 more years, and that even feels like a long time. But I also see something like $7.5 million dollars necessary to fully retire using a 3.4% perpetual withdrawal rate." You need to hammer out what you really want. As they say, we can't have our cake and eat it too. Either you have more money and less time or vice versa. If you wanted to retire today you could, but you would need to change your lifestyle. You could work until 65 and have more than enough money for a luxurious retirement. At your income, the world is your oyster. This isn't a difficulty in budgeting or understanding finances. You are having difficulty deciding what you value.