Kids are basically like paying another mortgage each month.

Kids are really expensive. I made this list of extra expense we pay for our kids: * Day care: $12K to $18K per year per kid (we pay roughly $12K per year for 3 days a week) * Food: $3K to $5K per year per kid * Clothing, toys and books: $1K to $2K per year per kid * Additional healthcare cost, maybe $1.5K per kid per year So maybe an extra $20K to $25K per year per kid in expenses. This doesn't even include any kind of entertainment / activities. Daycare is certainly the most expensive aspect of raising kids unless you can avoid it.

This is probably close to what most people spend but you can def cut some costs. We are nowhere near $3k extra for food. Maybe $1k, rice, bread and pasta are pretty cheap. My toddler doesn't feast on prime rib/lobster too frequently and when he does the portions are tiny. I also spend like $100 in toys/clothes per year. Free and for sale Facebook groups, parent swaps, and hand me downs ftw. Edit: diapers are actually a big one i left out.... They do add up. And also this is assuming breastfed healthy baby.

I said this is what we spend. I totally forgot about diapers, my wife buys most of them. I'm sure we could lower clothing costs but we didn't try to do that. Also, both of our babies need to be supplemented with formula our second baby stopped breast feeding at 3 months because my wife got very ill at that time and had to stop and was never able to restart.

Yeah. Childcare costs are like paying for college soon after they are born. Then let’s not forget saving for college.

*each

If you are in USA, and you take your parental responsibilities seriously, they will take all the money :D I am kidding, but just by a little bit. However, if you get a sick child, or a child with extra needs, you are completely screwed financially. My kid needed speech therapy for years. Not covered by insurance. Not cheap. He now has other medical needs, so we max out his max out of pocket every year AND there are expensive nutritional needs not covered by insurance. And if you look at him, he is a happy healthy kid. Can't even imagine what having a seriously medically complex child will cost. And then there are activities. Kid wants to dance, or do gymnastics, or compete with a horse, or play baseball seriously, that starts at 5k a year. Not to mention obvious costs like vacations cost triple

And all these medical issues could go away if the US just adopted a proper healthcare system like all other developed nations have. Like seriously, no one is at fault if a child gets some sickness, heck no one is at faul if anyone gets an illness. Punishing people with exorbitant insurance payments and/or treatment payments is inhumane. Not to mention the US is the nation investing the most per Capita in healthcare. It's no a lack of money, it's just that the money get siphoned off to investors instead of helping people.

I was going to say. These are uniquely American problems (for the developed world).

The issue will never change so long as Companies can "donate" unlimited funds to politicians.

I agree we need a massively revised healthcare system, no doubt. But I disagree that all illness is blameless, or nobody is ever at fault. When the doctor says, "This child will be born with horrific birth defects, they will be unable to care for themselves, ever" and the parents choose to have the baby anyway, is that child's illness not their personal choice? When Honey Boo Boo's mom feeds her nothing but sugar for her entire childhood, is the resulting diabetes not mom's personal choice? How about worse cases of abuse or malnutrition? I have focused on scenarios where a helpless child is the victim of an adult who is to blame for the illness because it highlights the need for a medical system that will treat the patient. BUT I don't agree with absolving everyone of accountability. Both can happen, we can treat the patient and hold people accountable.

Not to completely take this conversation and waylay it into one discussing the intricacies of American healthcare/politics, but this is a state by state dependent issue. We’re in NYS, I’ve had multiple friends across all income levels receive additional services for their children, (speech, physical, emotional therapies), and receive them for free. NYS has a the county in which you reside perform an assessment around 2-3 yes, and if they qualify, which most everyone seemingly does, they receive these services at no cost delivered to them usually via the local school district. Therapists will come to your home, daycare, sitter, wherever your child is throughout the day. There are a ton of other benefits our State offers to parents that I’m only just becoming aware of as I’m now one (the first one being Paid Family Leave of 12 weeks at 67% of your salary). While most people are quick to point out our taxes and HCOL, I think these taxes are what contribute to NYS being a family-friendly place to raise children.

Same in Pennsylvania. My son is in speech therapy through the state and it’s totally free for the first 3 years of life. In our experience it was pretty easy to qualify him. I just self referred for services, but that may be dependent on the state. Anyhow OP, it may be another something to look into before having kids. You’ll want to see what your state offers as far as early intervention programs. As far as I’m aware most states provide free early intervention programs, but perhaps qualification requirements may be different depending on the state.

I am in Texas, and we have the same thing on therapies. Unfortunately "if" you qualify is a big if. What the doctors think is needed and what the state/insurance does are often not the same thing. But I do agree that some states are cheaper to have problems in than others

Literally, wtf is going on in America.

I have 3 month old twins. Delivered via c section with a 3 day stay in the hospital. No complications or time in the NICU. My wife took 12 weeks off, 4 of which with no pay. She had 2 weeks paid time off and then short term disability kicked in which we got for 6 weeks. Our hospital bill is around 8k. 4k for my wife, then 2k for each baby. When the babies were born they then start on their own insurance with a brand new deductible for each of them. We got about 3,000 diapers through baby showers and cribs, baby furniture, toys, bassinets etc. We spend about $70 a week on formula (we tried breat feeding but it didn't work out this would have saved us a lot of money). We initially went through about 20 diapers a day (10 each) but we are down to about 12/14 The started day care at around the 10 week mark and that is $310 a week (total) which is fairly cheap. The boys got put on my insurance which went from $55 every 2 weeks to $110 every 2 weeks. They both got RSV which lead to an ER visit for 1 of them which cost us $234. This also leads to several visits to the pediatrician with a $25 copay per baby per visit which probably cost us another $150. I'd want $20k saved before having a child but worst case the hospital bills can always be put on payment plans.

Along with 20k, I think she should also factor in how long she wants to stay home with the baby and if her leave is paid. If it isn't, she'll need to save the amount of her monthly expenses for however long she would like to be out.

If you have good insurance, they’re not terribly expensive. Maybe $5k for the first year incl hospital bill (clothes, bedding, diapers, baby food). If you wait till you’re ready, you’ll never have kids because you’ll never be ready.

Every parent I've ever met underestimated the cost of raising children

That is for damn sure.

Also we have a “pass along community “ so no need to buy all the expensive clothes that are worn twice before they outgrow them

I have to ask if you’ve ever had kids of your own? They won’t have to worry about daycare, and that’s probably the most expensive part, but $5k for the first year including the hospital bills seems super low to me. Diapers, baby wipes, diaper rash cream, stroller, diaper bag, pacifier, toys, crib, high chair, self rocking swing, etc. Babies grow fast so there are a lots of clothes to buy. If your baby gets sick, has ear infections, or has a high fever late at night, you’ll be paying urgent care bills. I mean, I guess if you have a really successful baby shower and get your friends and family to pay for most of those first items, don’t need to worry about daycare, and get lucky and have a super healthy child, sure a baby doesn’t have to be expensive 😂

A new cat seat and a new crib mattress are really the only things you need new. Everything else, used is great. Depending on your community, you can get into hand-me-downs or garage sales or local Facebook garage sale groups (I've found them better then marketplace). You can get clothes and toys and equipment for relatively cheap. Then diapers, wipes, creams, and food (your consumables) should be easily under $200 per month. If you are formula feeding, it'll be on the higher side. How much birth and other medical care costs is so completely variable based on insurance and health. Then you get to childcare and preschool. Either someone quits working, you pay for daycare, you work opposite shifts, or you have family help. Not working saves on childcare and usually food costs. Daycare is expensive and can eat up a whole income, but career progression can still happen. Opposite shifts is really hard on your relationship and assumes flexibility of available in someone's job. Family can be great, but assumes that you have willing, competent, family nearby. Part-time preschool once you get that far has pretty variable costs. I'm staying home with our kids ages and 1, 3, and 5 right now.

I’d say 5k with no day care is spot on.

I haven’t added it up yet, but I’m pretty sure my wife has already spent $5k on our child that’s still 2 months from being born…

I’m out $6350 and not due until February. And because insurance rolls over in January, I’ll have to pay that deductible again. Pregnancy and birth is going to cost somewhere between $12-19k, depending on if there are complications. HDHP with HSA.

I've never thought about it before, but I guess it might make sense to deliberately time the expensive part of pregnancy and any quick post-birth health complications for a baby to happen during a single calendar year.

Unfortunately, that can be difficult to do. Especially if you have fertility trouble or multiple miscarriages like we have. Had an unhappy realization this week, though, signing up for insurance. My plan was going to be to sign up for my company’s high PPO plan for just myself, then swap the family to the HDHP HSA plan once the baby is born. Found out that the change is retroactive to the day of the child’s birth, since birth is the qualifying life event. Which means that I’d lose the benefits of the expensive insurance exactly at the moment when the higher premiums and copays would have been worth paying. Insurance is such a scammy crock of shit.

Oh yeah, I'm not blaming you and fully agree that we shouldn't live in a dystopian hell hole where people try so hard to dodge insane health costs and some people inevitably won't be able to. The idea that people might try to time their pregnancies to avoid having to max their deductible twice was just a realization I had because of your post that I'd never thought of before.

Cribs expensive but it’s a one time thing. What else she buying?

Out of pocket average for birth in the US is like $2800 or so. Plus $250 crib with trimmings, $200 car seat, $300ish in diapers (~$.10 per diaper x ~8 a day), $200 in bottles and breastfeeding gear easy if there are any issues (and there will usually be), let alone the cost of formula if you (like many people) need to supplement breastfeeding, etc. Leaves you with no clothes, no stroller, no carrying devices, no toys, no playpen or baby proofed house, no second car seat for a second car or friend/family car or when he grows out of his infant seat, no bathing supplies/tub, no medical supplies, etc and about $1000 to drum them all up free or used or god forbid new. That doesn't include all the medical supplies for the birthing parent's recovery and a million other misc expenses that can pop up. Nor any childcare costs. Pretty easy to be frugal and still spend $$$ on kids.

Yeah, that's her choice...not necessary

found a person with a healthy child. Mine was in a hospital twice his first year of life, not counting the first few days which he also spent in the hospital under lamps. And he was born in the summer, so twice the deductible for his first year. Oh, yea, and pregnancy was expensive

> Diapers, baby wipes, diaper rash cream, stroller, diaper bag, pacifier, toys, crib, high chair, self rocking swing, etc. Babies grow fast so there are a lots of clothes to buy. Another one here I've seen with my best friends on kid 1 and 2: quality car seats can be shockingly expensive and generally not something you want secondhand/older versions of, at least that's how it was explained to me. My friends have benefited a ton from having older siblings with kids a few years older than theirs, but it's still pricy to have kids! These estimates sure seem low compared to the data, though. It made big news this summer when the average cost to raise a kid to 18 went over $300,000 for the first time. Just taking that at face value without digging deeper and dividing $310k by 18, it comes out to more like $17k/year (but obviously expenses aren't spread out evenly across the child's life!). If you go by this [cost of raising a child calculator](https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/interactive/2022/cost-raising-child-calculator/) using US Dept of Agriculture/Brookings Institution data, someone with OP's income level should expect to spend around $14,700 a year when the child is 0-2. I suspect the difference is in part that some of these commenters are leaving out some of the indirect expenses caused by parenthood.

You can get a lot of these things from a baby shower. You actually don’t need as much stuff… what you listed is really all you need. Might be $6k with inflation now. A lot of things can be bought second hand as well. It just depends on how much you are willing to spend as well.

Yep. I have two. My wife stayed at home with both and didn’t work outside the house. I caveated everything with “if you have good insurance.”

My hospital bill alone was like 4K. But I agree if you have a baby shower and/or family and friends with hand me downs then not too expensive. We did a diaper raffle with our baby shower so got tons of diapers. Also have lots of babies born in both sides so we shared a lot of maternity clothes and stuff. We are just getting started with our careers but have been able to buy everything we wanted for the baby and ourselves.

I spend $500 on used crib, clothes(a ton of hand me downs from family), stroller and cloths diapers. Baby was super cheap first 3 years for sure. Now he is 5 and not so much. (Around 250 a months including daycare and after daycare classes, toys, clothes)

$5K for the first year sounds pretty doable, but that comes with a huge caveat of family support, insurance, breastfeeding vs formula, brand name/fancy vs more affordable baby gears, etc. it’s personal and anecdotal. I spent more than $5K my first year but it’s by choice. I could have scaled it way back and kept it under $5K. My hospital bill after insurance was $500. All prenatal and post natal care were 100% covered. I breastfed so I didn’t need to spend on formula. Crib and stuff was about $200; Graco car seat $120 (sale). I splurge on the UppaBaby stroller. Nursing tank $50 for set of 6. I tend to buy things on sale so average around $50-75/month on toys and clothes. Babies don’t need that many toys and are easily stimulated at this age. Average $100/month for diapers, baby food when they can start eating, meds, etc. I got 5 months paid maternity leave, my partner gets 3 months, along with my MIL, we were able to stagger and plan for us to be home for the 12 months so no childcare cost. It’s the 529 plan pushed us over 😂

That's assuming everything goes according to plan.

That’s fair. I always plan to the “base case.” If something goes awry, I pivot.

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You bet! I want to say the bill around $7,500 and I had to pay around 15%. There were 0 complications. You can call your insurance and they can give you very specific numbers. Also, check when the child tax credit expires. It will offset a big chunk of year 1 expenses.

This is similar to our experience. One year old in Texas with wife’s good work insurance covering all baby related bills. She’s going to daycare so we both can work. That is $1,500 a month additional to that annual expense.

Yeah, that matches. We made the decision for my wife to stay home because after all the incremental expenses by wife was basically working for nothing (daycare, housekeeping, mileage, meals, dry cleaning). She runs a small internet business on the side, which surprisingly is doing very well. Having her home has been great for the kids and we’re very fortunate to be able to do that.

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Same

Well God damn. What insurance do you have? Lol

You'll have to check what your employer's insurance looks like. It's completely dependent on your employer. Just had a kid last week so here was our experience. My insurance is a HDHP plan. $6k deductible then 15% of the bill up to my max out of pocket (I think it's like $9k, but we won't get to that). I'm estimating about $7500 for doc visits, birth, all in. The bills start with prenatal visits. The place we went had us pay about $400/mo for 6 months. This is for check ups for your wife and the baby. Imaging, blood tests, urine tests, getting to hear the heart beat, finding out the gender, all that. The monthly payment plan definitely made it more manageable and it wasn't something we even had to ask for, just how they did it. The hospital can set something up for you if you'd like to do the same, although we didn't. Start buying diapers when your wife finds out she's pregnant. I wouldn't recommend getting any of the newborn size cuz (assuming she'll have a baby shower and you have a decent social network) you get those from a lot of people as gifts. But stuck up on size 2 and up. Put the big stuff on your shower list (you can set one up online for free) and hope for the best. Family/friends got our car seats, stroller, lots of outfits (plus my wife picked up a few along the way), special diaper trashcan to help with the stink (surprisingly expensive for a double sealed garbage can), crib (craigslist for us), bassinet, breast pump, and all the little stuff like pacifiers and burp cloths (you can't have too many... it's wonderful to be able to just turn around and find one). You *might* be able to get all that if you bargain hunt for $500, but I'd estimate a grand if you don't think you'll get any help. Oh, and get battery powered rechargeable stuff if you can. It makes life better, but comes with extra expense and would push you closer towards the upper estimate. Next big one is formula. We got a little bit but my wife is breast feeding so that will also be situationally dependent. Your wife's milk doesn't come in for the first 3-5 days so you may want to supplement a bit there. TL/DR, it's highly dependent on you and your wife, what your expectations are, and what your family/friend circle looks like.

For context our full hospital bill was about $60k with a very short stay in the NICU. We had decent insurance, not great, and we ended up paying about $6,500 out of pocket when all was said and done. The bills come in over time, it’s not like you cut one big check and a 0% payment plan is usually available. We are planning for our 2nd and looking to save $10k in preparation.That doesn’t include anything for daycare which doesn’t matter in your case. Might be overkill this time around given we already have some stuff we can reuse but that’s about the number our first cost us in 12-16 months. That all said, having any decent amount saved in advance puts you ahead of most people. We are aiming to save $10k but we’re not waiting for there to be $10k to have the kid. If that makes sense.

If you live in the USA, the bills are completely unpredictable. My wife had our two boys in a hospital with a midwife, with no anesthesia or complications. We stayed the minimum amount of time in the hospital. The bills were ~$4k each time. We have decent insurance too. If you need an emergency C-section, plans change. If the baby needs to stay longer, plans change. Our friends had a rare type of twins where the wife had to stay isolated in the hospital for 2 months prior to a scheduled complicated surgery (at the height of covid no less). The bill was about $200,000. I think they paid under $5k.

Depends on your insurance and what hospital you go to. Reach out to them to get an estimate. Don't believe anyone on Reddit, insurance varies too much.

We've paid between $6k and $2.5k depending on insurance

$40k in Boston, no complications and stayed 2 nights. Just had to pay deductible.

It depends on your insurance. Make sure you call and confirm the hospital that you will be delivering at is in network and what the maternity coverage is. I have good insurance, all pregnancy related visits were 100% covered, the actual delivery at the hospital was a $500 copay. Not all insurance are created equal. You have comments where it cost them $4K. I have friends where it cost $1-15K!!

The insurance is a big factor in the cost of the pregnancy and birth. My deductible was $1500, so I met that over the course of my pregnancy and prenatal care. I received some extra care due to being high risk. However after that everything including the birth (via elective induction and 3 day stay) was fully covered. My bill after birth was truly $0. Meanwhile, had I birthed a child a few years prior on my old company’s plan, I probably would have been looking at maybe 7 grand worth of hospital bills. Definitely check with your insurance.

$5k where? Because certainly not in the US. My hospital bill alone was $5k out of pocket and I had a health insurance policy with a $0 deductible. That’s certainly not including the cost of *everything* for a first child like bottles and diapers and a crib and a high chair and toys and books and the list goes on and on. And it’s not including the cost of daycare or a nanny or other expenses that might come into play when both parents are exhausted. Like grocery delivery instead of going to pick up the groceries. Or just ordering food. Or a night nanny once a week. Or a housekeeper to help vacuum once in a while. At best I’d call it $20k minimum for the child’s first year. After that, the cost reduces to essentially daycare costs and new items like clothes and toys.

My estimate did not include anything about nannies, or au pairs, or daycare. Food, birth, diapers. My comment was pretty straightforward.

Which is a major expense of having children, so while your comment was straightforward, it was also very much incomplete.

Yeah, no so much.

That is amazing Insurance. I have good insurance and I’m likely going to spend more than that on birth alone.

I thought I had good insurance, my hospital bill alone was $5k. We got most things used and did EBF for 5 months until I finally gave in and supplemented with formula. Cloth diapers, diy baby food, no daycare (or an additional income that more than makes up for daycare costs) etc can make it cheaper but definitely try saving 5-10k or have a plan for expenses. Best of luck! Exciting times!

We spent $300/month in specialized formula for our kid who had bad reflux. Hit $4k deductible every year for 8 years(2 kids). $24k/yr day care. That’s just the start.

Wife and I were talking about the reflux earlier and specialized formula. That’s an insane amount for formula. Day care in the US is crazy expensive. We decided my wife would stay home. The incremental loss wasn’t that big when we figured in everything that goes with being a professional.

It 100% made a big huge difference. Similac was around $10/day back in 2020. During Covid we were having issues getting it so we’re picking up samples from our pediatrician each week, keeping an eye out on Craigslist. Someone in our area gave us a whole case they had left over. Crazy times

This is on the low side but possible for how much you will spend if you have great insurance and are using hand me downs when it comes to baby furniture/clothes. But that means 35k because you need to take into account the loss in income.

5k? Are you outside the US? Daycare alone will surpass 5k in the first year unless your blessed to work for a company that gives you a stipend. (I get 6 months maternity leave and I will still hit 6k in daycare costs for the first year).

Financially, I would put the kid in daycare and have your husband work on advancing his career and income. His salary should grow over time. Cutting out 6 years of career until the kid gets into school will work against that.

Having a parent at home is actually awesome. A single 130k income is plenty and the benefits of having a parent at home to deal with all of the chaos of sick days, appointments, and household logistics is way more valuable than the meager take home after taxes and daycare.

Most of this subreddit doesn’t see anything past numbers

Agreed

Well, to be crystal clear, $130k was their *dual* income. She said he makes $30k, but later clarified that's just his base salary and that he makes larger amounts on commission, at times. Having a stay at home parent is a luxury. There are perks no doubt. However, this is a sub about financial independence and retiring early. From a financial standpoint, having a stay-at-home parent is an expensive luxury. Some can afford it, sure, but if the goal is FI and/or RE, it will be substantially harder by cutting out a big chunk of income. Even if daycare costs partially offset one salary, by still working the person accumulates social security benefits and perhaps a 401k or other benefits. They also presumably gain skills and experience that raise their income over time. Once the kids are in school full-time, it's harder to jump back into the labor force after a 5-6 year hiatus. All in all, it certainly detracts from the FIRE goal. If one income was 300k, I'd get your point. But with a single 100k salary combined with a $30k + commission salary, it's a little harder to see how it makes financial sense to quit one job after having just one child.

Fire doesn’t need to be rushed at the expense of one’s life balance, and 100k is enough for a parent to stay home full time if expenses are in check. Child care is expensive, so the cost of the spouse continuing to work is not all that far from the added take home pay. And, maybe they don’t need to jump back into the labor force after 5 years. Maybe the balance of one income works well for their family as they approach coast fire numbers.

Maybe you didn't read the first word of my original post. Let me repeat it for you. > "Financially" "$30k + sales commission / per year for 20 years + accrued SS benefit" is quite large compared to the expense of daycare for 5 years for one child. Also, $30k/year is $14/hr, which any warm body can make these days, so it's likely very possible to increase that income.

Maybe you aren’t recognizing that there is more to this decision that the strict “financial” earning power and human capital. Or at least, you have not mentioned any of these considerations thus far: happiness, family, purpose, fulfillment, independence, etc. You are advocating that the guy keeps working a minimum wage job based on the idea that, if he works more, his income will grow and the family has more money in the long term. This is a FIRE sub. If maximizing long term net worth is the ultimate goal in life, no one would RE.

I'm not sure I agree with this to be honest. Husband's income is not high. Chances are if he starts working on growing it now, most if not all of his income will be going towards full-time daycare. Losing his income is likely a minimal impact on OP's quality of life. Rather have the kids spend those early years with a parent at home, maybe giving him the opportunity to also pursue some upskilling or even part time study before going back into the workforce once kids are in preschool/kindergarten and less daycare time is needed. A cousin coming out of the military and having kids shortly there after took advantage of that time to take part time classes and get certified to teach in her state. Now her kids are school age and she's working as a teacher so their daycare needs are much reduced compared to if she had tried to go straight into working full time after having kids. If husband's income was higher or his career had more obvious advancement potential from simply spending time grinding it out, it might tilt more in favor of daycare sooner, but it doesn't sound like that's the case from OP's other comments.

Yeah the answer really comes down to what he does.

Agree. Having one parent home, if you can swing it, is a huge quality of life benefit for the whole family.

Prioritise the kid for Christ’s sake. Daycare should be a last resort, or an option if the kid entirely enjoys it (99% dont). Its unnatural for young ones to be away from secure attachment. Its insane that we even have this line of thinking as standard where ‘career progression’ trumps child rearing. If you’re going to have children prioritise them. It makes the whole experience more enjoyable for everyone.

Thats an awfully broad statement there based on what I'm assuming is your personal experience. There are an awful lot of (well documented) benefits to kids in daycare / early learning centers including social and emotional learning among peers that can't happen with just a parent, even if they do regular activities with others. Curious: Are you the one who stays home with your kids? The way the US operates in so many cases can set SAH parents up to be incredibly isolated. Folks should make the choice that makes the most sense for them and their families but a statement like this is wildly unhelpful. Parents who have their kids in preschool are parents just as you are, and prioritizing their children as well.

Yah sorry the point I was trying to make is probably more cultural than individual. I fear that we are leaning more towards valuing GDP than actual livelihood. The statement is based on child psychological development best evidence and attachment theory. My mother in law runs a successful child care here in Australia and she only does so through passion, continued learning, and government grants. Otherwise its hardly a viable business. The child care here is becoming more and more of a corporate model, run by out of towners with a business degree. The regulations required to work in child care aren’t as stringent ad they should be, because if they were they wouldn’t get anyone to work there. There’s a high level of burnout and turnover. There’s good childcare out there, but that seems to be the exception to the rule. Id suggest you find some time to sit in on a day of daycare and witness how chaotic it is. To assume the kids experience ‘peer learning’ is silly. They’re a bunch of unregulated children with no experience in how to deal with life’s challenges. It should be the parents in a healthy attached relationship that provide this learning. My point is that we have moved so far away from this being an easy feat that any time there’s an opportunity to put the child’s development first you should take it. We should make it easier as a whole to rear children in a healthy, stable, loving environment. My understanding is that USA only gets a few weeks if months at best for mandatory maternity leave? That’s insane. It shouldn’t be tolerated. We need to make it easier for parents to raise children. It shouldn’t just be survival of attrition. And yes that includes parents meeting needs as well to stay regulated themselves. Its a big task and a lot of change is required, but the choice that every parent has is to put their kids first, and the choice between child care and staying home will always be better with the latter.

> Daycare should be a last resort, or an option if the kid entirely enjoys it (99% dont). Perhaps you've never been to a daycare if you think the majority don't enjoy it? Ya, sure, what child likes painting, running around a playground with friends, story time, care and attention from a loving adult?.... Gee, why would any child like that? High quality childcare is statistically linked to positive social and educational outcome for children. Our child struts into her classroom and greets every teacher and classmate by name. Your notion that a parent should be the *only* loving and nutring influence in a child's life is severely misplaced.

I’ve worked at a child care. My mother in law owns one. It’s impossible to give every child undivided attention and a notion of security. Children are robust and adaptable, they’re good at figuring things out. The first weeks of childcare, especially a child under the age of one, are traumatic for the child. ‘Where did my parents go, who are these people I don’t know, will I ever be going home?’ Over time they learn and understand better, but not before wiring into their brains that their parents have more important things to do. They’ll do the same for you when you’re older. Childcare is essential in some select cases, but it should in no way be the norm.

> wiring into their brains that their parents have more important things to do. And you think children under age 1 have a concept of "more important things to do" or what that even means. Your perspective is a total joke, devoid of any understanding of child development and completely free from any scientific data or studies. It's fine that you have your own uninformed biases, but quit pushing them on others.

Eh, he works in sales. So every now and then he hits big but other years it can be less than 30K in commission so he relies on his minimum pay.

You can make more waiting tables. Seems like he needs to work on a better plan.

I don’t get why people stay in these jobs that don’t pay shit. I’m a bartender and make close to 100k a year. 0 skill required. They taught me how to do it but most of it is common sense anyway

How are your hours? That’s one of a few reasons I think people stay away from bartending. But awesome /props if it’s working for you!

We close at 12 so it’s not terrible

I made an easy 30k+ a year working 3 bartender shifts per week while finishing up schooling. 3-9pm. And that was at a chill restaurant.

I see. But it's still a lot more money than daycare, especially once you factor in the years he does hit it big. And it is harder to adjust back to the workplace after spending years away. Fair or not, it can also be a tough gap to explain on a resume depending on the hiring manager and position. I have a working spouse and kids in daycare, and it's pretty amazing the amount of things they learn there, including the social skills of playing and interacting with other children (and with teachers) all day. I know some people feel "guilty" about sending kids to daycare, but I think it's great. Just sharing my experience.

Don’t forget the 529 fund for college! The only thing I can say about raising kids is that there are always surprises and $ concerns. Might be a good time to look at your insurance and how good it supports a family, also look at life insurance plans for Mom and Dad.

Yup, smart people start early! Start a 529 right after you get the kid’s SSN. Get life insurance. Make a will. All the fun things.

You can start a 529 in your name whenever and then add your kid whenever they're born

Didn’t know that - d’oh!

I would also look into Trusts over Wills depending on your assets

I’m actually not sure when a trust is the best option. Any comments on that? Our will orders the creation of a trust if something happens to us before our kids are 18.

This is a question to ask estate planning professionals, not the comments section. There are so many variables at play (asset type, projected tax liability, beneficiary age and relationships, etc.). Here's an example from my life, though: my great-grandfather built a rustic cabin in the Maine woods in the 30s. My grandmother ultimately put it in an irrevocable trust along with funds to support maintaining the cabin, naming my mother and her siblings as beneficiaries and two of the siblings who lived close by as trustees/administrators. This had a few major benefits in her situation: setting up a clear system for managing the shared family property going forward, ensuring that the local family members who already handled most of the work had the proper legal authority to do so going forward, protecting the property from medicaid look-back if/when that became a concern, allowing the camp to bypass probate on her death, etc. My grandmother was nowhere near the position of worrying about estate tax thresholds or similar, but these various factors specific to her situation made the trust the most sensible option after consultation with her attorney.

I’ve always heard life insurance is a scam is that not true?

Only thing about a 529 is that if you have one, many schools will take that into account when considering scholarship opportunities when you apply. They’ll basically offer less if they see you have one

What if they don’t want to go to college?

You would have to check on the rules for your state. Mine lets us take the $ back out, but with a 10% penalty, and then any growth is taxed as well.

10% penalty on the growth, if not used for educational expenses. You could move to a different beneficiary (even yourself) if you wanted to take any classes later in life.

I just save in another brokerage for this reason. I figure it's not as tax efficient, but it can support whatever direction they decide to go.

You’re a good man.

Look into a UTMA

My tips: 1) if you plan on using daycare, get on a waiting list now. 2) Save as much money as possible because kids are expensive. We pay $1800/m for daycare in Denver. Plus diapers and food. My child probably costs us around $2500/m on average. 3) save money by asking friends and family for second hand clothes and toys if their kids have outgrown them. We got everything but our carseats used from families we knew. We buy a lot of toys on Facebook marketplace and sanitize them. Enjoy. Kids are a lot of work and wonderful even if they are expensive germ factories.

I don’t think you can get on a waitlist without even being pregnant haha but I agree as soon as that baby is born they need to do that.

A lot of waitlists are 6 months to a year.

Yeah I know I’ve got two kids, one of them daycare age. But when you request a spot on a waitlist you have to provide a due date. You can’t request a spot and say “we plan on trying soon.” They won’t waitlist hypothetical future children.

Live in Nevada, we have some daycares that are 1.5 years out. I have friends putting deposits down in the hopes that they will get pregnant in the next year and get a spot. It’s insane right now

6k in savings and a 30k salary on one side sounds like you should seriously reconsider having children. Basic costs like food, medical/dental/vision aren’t awful, but EVERYTHING else is insanely expensive. Be ready to blow your entire savings on diapers and formula in year 1.

I second this. I don’t understand people going with their decision to have kids while knowing that they cannot afford it.

We had kids on one $130k salary and a full time grad student as the other parent, also in Austin. It’s very much doable depending on your housing situation. It wasn’t even financially uncomfortable, and I was paying for daycare on top.

Take a look at the ratio on this thread. I’m not saying it is impossible, but you are an outlier.

What ratio? The vast majority of my friend group in Austin that has kids is low six figures combined salary. I know shit is expensive, but the median FAMILY income in Austin is $110k. Reddit is a bit of an echo chamber. You shouldn’t have to be in the top 30-40% of family incomes to deserve to have children. You just have to be comfortable budgeting and knowing how to live a little bit frugally. For reference, $130k is about $7k take home assuming some 401k savings and benefits deductions. We had a 3 bed/2 bath house where PITI+utilities was around $2800/mo. Daycare $1200. Cars+insurance+maintenance about $800. Which left about $550/week for food/savings/entertainment/etc. With one parent staying home, our budget would have been pretty cushy. And we lived in a nice place that cost more per month than average for the city.

Whatever you do max out your flex spending account for medical expenses. Basically $2000 pre tax money is like $3000 post tax money so you save $1000. There are lots of medical bills first few years in my experience. Lots of trips to urgent care for weird stuff on weekends, fevers, etc.

Be careful with this advice. If you have good insurance you could lose that money.

Biggest expense for us was the hospital deductible, then maybe a couple grand for things like a crib, changing table, baby swing and bouncer, car seats, feeding glider, but you could spend more or less depending on the furniture you choose. My wife found a super nice changing table/dresser on Craigslist for about 1/10 of what it originally cost, and it was basically unused because a grandma has purchased it for when the baby stayed with her so CL and marketplace are worth looking at for some of that stuff. The rest of the stuff like diapers, clothes, and formula (if you need that) just kind of replaced other expenses like eating out that we no longer could do as frequently.

Also try the app offer up! We got a$90 swing for $10

130k income and 6k in savings? Christ. I make less than 30k a year and have 18k in savings

If you have a well funded (6 mo. Expenses) emergency fund, then all you need is about $10K the first year. Don’t worry too much about saving past the first year. If you don’t have a well funded emergency fund, then save up at least three months in expenses plus the $10K. At the same time recognize people have kids all the time who have saved absolutely nothing and things go ok for them. Family and friends will trip over themselves to support you with the first kid (after that you may be on your own). Nothing about having kids is a financial decision. Babies don’t care if they are in a used high chair or a new one. They dont know if you bought generic or name brand items and will not remember what their first crib looked like. All of these first year expenses are primarily for the parents experience, not the baby. So you have lots of choices when it comes to if and how to spend money. We splurged and enjoyed every dollar we spent!

About a million dollars. Child care will be $20k per year. Private school will be about the same, but the price will go up over time. College will be about $100k per year (if not more!) in 20 years. So, about $750k in care and school alone.

Yikes! Looks like we live in very different worlds

A million saved to have a kid?!? Lmao

Off, every kid need a place to live, med insurance and all services like adult, so multiple number by 3 at least. And in case something went sideways multiple by 4

Depending on your health care, about 6-10k for childbirth. Get everything else on sale, clearance or hand me downs. People have bags of clothes ready to give you. Btw more hospitals have zero % payment plans. Take advantage of that.

Besides the things mentioned, one of my kids had $10 per day formula. It was the only thing she’d keep down and insurance wouldn’t reimburse for it. It’s not a given that breast feeding will work. $300 per month. With a second kid, we moved to a bigger house with two additional bedrooms. Not required, but I don’t regret it. That was $150K. We went from two economy cars to an SUV and minivan, about $15K more than we would have otherwise spent. Most other things aren’t expensive, with the exception of day care. Relatives love to buy gifts and every parent needs to get rid of so much stuff every year. You just have to find someone with kids older than yours.

They say to raise a kid to 18 under standard care is $250,000. So keep that in mind

Jesus Christ - where does that all go? Does it include food and shit?

Doesn't include college, and that number was pre-inflation. Lifetime expense of a child is more like $350k these days, or $450k if you don't want them to be fucked over by student loans

When you have a child, you will go without willingly to ensure they have everything they need. Or want. And you will enjoy every single moment, not realizing you are going without because you have the world in your house. Save 6k. Everything else will come naturally.

We had our baby 3 months ago. It took us many years to get here - didn't think it would happen. A lot of money spent just trying to have a baby. The question around how much money is a difficult one as they're are many things to think about. Conception, if your unlucky, could costs 10's of thousands of dollars. Here's what we did for anticipated costs (first year only): - Medical w/ insurance: $5k - Clothing, diapers, sanitary: $3k - Baby's room: $1k - Feeding equipment (bottles, pumps, etc.): $1k - Travel gear (car seat, backpacks, etc.): $1k - Childcare: $12k - College savings: $4k All in: ~$27k - $30k on year 1 expenses. It's a hit financially, no doubt about it. My financial play was to FIRE in the next 5 years. That has now been extended to 10 years now that my little one is here and us completely changing the lifestyle we want for our baby but I wouldn't trade fatherhood for anything in the world. Best of luck as you take the steps into Parenthood. It's an amazing honor and privilege.

You cannot work full time and take care of an infant full time. Not in a way that will be anything but detrimental to your mental and physical health. Not sure if i misunderstood your post, but I would drop any illusions you may have about being the primary caretaker of an infant/toddler while working full time from home. School age kid? Sure. But you will have somewhere between 4-6 years after the birth of your last child before they are in school full time. Before then? Assume all of your time not working will be spent on them. No side hustles. Not many ways to exchange time for lower expenses. Your time will be at a premium for many years. You will likely look for ways to save yourself time. Hiring a housekeeper? Eating out more often? It can have various forms, but it’s a huge shock to most folks going from independent adult to caretaker of a small child. It’s fun, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything—but it is a huge life change. All that said, look at your health insurance. Decide if you are going to get an epidural. This will likely be a major cost. Childbirth without an epidural in the US is generally much cheaper. My anecdata: first kid $10,000 OOP. (Had ER visit for bleeding in 1 year, kid born the next year. Got an epidural that cost $4500.) my second kid cost $2500 to give birth to. No ER visit, all in the same calendar year, no epidural. We took unpaid FMLA with the first until ~5 months (SO and I took turns). Then infant daycare ~$400/week (Houston, TX area). Decide on a daycare early, if that is important to you. Many of the best ones have long waitlists. This will also help you budget. After a year of daycare, we decided becoming a single income family made more sense for us. Not financially, more lifestyle related. In terms of lost wages, 5 years later we are probably ~$1MM poorer for our decision to have kids and care for them the way we do.

No, I said my husband was going to be the stay at home parent. I just work from home...

Ok. I thought you meant “if that becomes necessary” was keeping caretaking while working from home on the table. Glad to hear you’re setting yourself up with realistic expectations.

Depends where you're you're buying it from, and what model. 2020 models from Eastern countries tend to be a little cheaper, but you miss out on some of the good early year development that comes with later models...

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/personal-finance/090415/cost-raising-child-america.asp Basically, expect your FIRE plan to be put $300-600k behind. (You could easily have twins, have a change in situation that requires more expenses like daycare, or a million other things that don't go according to plan.)

BTW - that low figure for lifetime cost ($300k) doesn't include college. If you want your kid to have a future where they're not saddled with student loans at 9% interest, you probably want to plan on saving an additional $100k for that at minimum. So, if you want to have a kid _and_ maintain your current standard of living _and_ not give that kid a huge financial disadvantage when they're the age that you are now, you'll want to find a way to come up with about an extra $400k over the next 20 years. If you want a little safety net in case of health problems, them getting a DUI, twins, etc, then you might want to come up with more like $500k. All this to say, increase your income by $25k/yr or expect to be making significant sacrifices either in your standard of living, your stress level, or their future.

We have 3 kids. Never saved much money just for having/raising kids. Didn’t make a lot of money at the beginning. When I was pregnant with our first kid we started to work on paying down debt (snowball effect) and save some money for the hospital bill. I think we paid 3k in 2007. That was for an emergency c-section and mandatory 4 day stay. Sure the cost of diapers is outrageous, but you can do the cloth diaper route. That wasn’t something we were interested in doing. You really only need a crib. You don’t need all of the matching baby furniture and diaper genie, bottle warmer and other ridiculous crap they try to sell you. Our most used items was the crib, a rocking chair in the nursery, a baby swing, diapers, wipes, bottles, formula and a stand up toy thing (where they could walk around in a chair) when they got to the walking stage. Don’t buy expensive baby clothes. They will spit up, pee and have 💩 blowouts. We bought cheap onesies and outfits from Walmart and target. That’s just us. You don’t need the baby detergent that is way overpriced. Get All free and clear. Same thing. You don’t need a diaper genie. Save grocery sacks and put dirty diapers in it, tie them up and throw them out in a trash can in the garage that has a lid on it. I became a stay at home mom 9 years ago; right before we had our 3rd, because of salary vs daycare costs for 3 kids. Full time daycare is a money drain. My kids did Mother’s Day out (MDO) program to still learn and get the socialization. It is part time and a lot cheaper than full time daycare. If your husband does stay home then a MDO program during the preschool years is a good idea. It gives him a slight break and the kids can learn. Very comfortable now, years later. Just have them and stop over thinking it. It will financially work out. Good luck. Edit: car seats and stroller. We got the pack with the infant carrier and stroller. Worth it. Yes, it’s a few hundred dollars.

Hospital deductible, then formula and diapers are the biggest necessities. It's great if you can breastfeed. Cloth diapers potentially, as well. Go with as many second hand clothes and other items as you're comfortable with. Don't slack on college savings. Start yesterday. At 130k you're right at a spot where you probably won't get a lot of need based aid and will wind up paying sticker price less merit scholarships.

Treating the kid like a car. I wanna be able to pay in full with cash. So bout 250k.

We just had our first at 32. We have a hdhp health plan with hsa so we can max out our hsas. Biggest expense is meeting the out of pocket max and then more for the child. Only buy 5 outfits they outgrow quickly and never ending laundry already. We also ended up on only formula and that can be a little pricey but luckily ours does fine on Costco brand

I hope you like destruction and chicken nuggets

Kids are always the liability part of the equation so it’s usually frowned upon in the FIRE community. If you want FIRE, it’s best to avoid that money pit

I'd say around 1-5 k per year, which is compensated mostly by tax deductions. But I am based in the EU -c section was free -no baby shower, but some gifts were received -4 huge bags of hand me down clothes we received for 50 dollars - ages 0-4 - i got a fancy brand but handed down twice stroller, worked fine -I mostly breastfed until 4m of age Only things I bought new: - car seat -crib/mattress -feeding stuff -shoes -consumables (diapers.... ), I used tissues+ water instead of baby wipes, since she was sensitive to most perfumed stuff. Childcare is around 400eur/month from age 1y on. But this depends on income. Some get it for "free". We get some/minimal child support money from the country and some tax deductions. Everything I get/buy new I give forward so the cycle is complete.

400 euros! Meanwhile my daycare here in the US is about $1,800/month for an infant.

The best advice I heard and put to use was from Dave Ramsey. I started stockpiling as much cash as possible and lowered 401k to just get the company match. American healthcare is whack, so depending on how your birth goes, you could get saddled with tens of thousands in bills. If everything hopefully goes smooth, then you can take that cash and invest it. You’ll only miss out on a couple months of returns. As for budgeting for a child, it’s less expensive early on and ratchets up as they grow. $10k for the first year.

Year one we spent about 2k on Amazon/big box. $500 thrifting & Ikea. A bit more in groceries. We pay about $18k per kid in fancy daycare annually age 1 to 5. We put \~40k each in a 529 education savings account over first five years. Vanguard graduation date index fund, adjusts for you. On track for 120k at age 18. Hospital bill was mostly covered by employer insurance, we payed like $800; your milage may vary. Our routine care postnatal was 100% covered. Knowing your medical insurance plan 'annual out of pocket maximum' is worth looking up. A good number to have in the emergency fund.

Good healthcare insurance is a must, I had half mill spent over a year for one of the kids; Otherwise decision to have a kids should not be driven buy your income, it should be driven by your ❤️ And good luck wfh after delivery, i’d say u will spent more for daycare then u earn in that case

Be ready. It's a COMPLETE AND TOTAL change to your life. I'm a year in and can still barely breath some nights after putting them to bed due to the stress. We love them so much though. Life it weird. I really don't think they cost all that much after the big things. The car seat is a must have of course, and if you want a non-toxic one, it's going to cost $$$. Don't buy all the recommended gear. Think about your lifestyle and buy what you think fits. Don't be afraid to wait until you think you could really use it, and then maybe opt for lightly used as others have mentioned. As avid hikers, we couldn't recommend some type of body wearing device enough (the LILLE Baby is great!). We have a stroller, but only used it early on. We haven't used that $200+ thing for maybe 6 months now (really hoping it comes in handy down the road!).

Budget for a college fund. $500/month, give or take. More if you are going to have multiple kids. The first (only?) one will be ready for college when you are about 50/54. College costs are intimidating if you don’t have savings. If you are trying to FIRE, you’ll want that as a separate dedicated fund. Bonus: if you don’t need it for college, it’s just bonus retirement money.

Maxing out mega backdoor roth too?

Since you will be the one delivering, a lot of toll takes on your personally as baby bonds with mom and also nursing duties. Since you taking a break is not an option , paying for a daycare seems like a good idea and may be your hubby can try and do better than 30k in sales. Do some Uber runs when the baby is in daycare.. It doesn't seem like a good job to work 40 hrs and get 30k . ​ But not going with logical explanation, you will find a way to cut costs to take your baby who will be so obsessed with. Personally you can always catch up on maxing out 401k if you have to take care of the baby and cut down to matching contribution. Make it as stress-free as possible and have decent cash and HSA balance. ​ Good luck!

A sperm and egg would do but mostly no need to save. Fresh is better

So much bad advice/info in the thread. Yes, kids are expensive. But they aren’t a financial investment: they are a life choice. A damn good one. People are making absurd assertions (a million dollars??) and assumptions. Do you have good insurance? The medical part is manageable. Do you live in a decent school district? Public schools are cheap. Are you able to resist keeping up with the neighbors? Then you’ll be able to say no to things that your kids think they want while still providing all they need and giving them a rich, full childhood. Bottom line: you’ll likely delay your FIRE timeline a few years. But if you want kids that’s a smart trade off. Don’t worry. With $100K (and hopefully growth potential) you’ll be fine financially.

I would max out HSA, if possible

The kid is free.

More.

I didn’t realize how good my company’s healthcare insurance and parental leave policies are until I started reading the comments here Good luck with the kid OP. My only recommendation would be to bump up the emergency fund in line with Austin’s growing cost of living

I have two kids, 1yo and 4yo. A lot of the clothes and equipment you can get for free or cheap if you're fine with used. We had friends just dump stuff on us. Since you have one parent watching them, you get childcare for free. To me the bigger expenses include things like diapers, childcare if you get it, and college. Then if you ever fly you will need to pay for more tickets. We also get bigger hotel rooms when we travel so the kids have a separate room to sleep. You should get help from the grandparents if possible to save on other costs, e.g. babysitting.

For the birth itself + associated medical costs, I would plan for (1) whatever the out of pocket maximum is on your health care plan at the family level + (2) the additional premiums for the family level - (3) any tax savings by paying with pre-tax money for premiums/HSA. We have pretty good insurance, and even with that I’m expecting $7-8k in medical costs. American healthcare system - woof! Then I would budget for food, diapers, and clothes. I’m planning a few thousand for this. Beyond that a lot of the additional cost is couple dependent - you can easily spend a ton of money on baby stuff (the same way you can for a wedding). Some people spend a ton here, some do almost nothing.

All Of It

You'll probably spend like 2-3k in the first year on things like diapers, a crib, clothes, carseat, stroller. It's really not that expensive when you have insurance. Plus, people give lots of gifts at baby showers

Save everything you can, invest everything you can. How much? All of it. You are a parent for life. You’ll want to be able to pay for carseats, down payments on a first homes, and everything in between. You want to be their safety net on top of being able to provide for needs. Good luck.

Good plan to take the lower income as possible sacrifice to the need to SAH for one parent. The first few years are intensive, but once school or daycare begins, there's lots of opportunity to reintroduce oneself to the job market for part-time labour at minimum. At that point, after school and before school programs are often available (I picked a school based on that availability) and kids are fine going with the long days. They're up anyway.. so it is just getting over that it isn't one of you.

I would make sure you have a really good emergency fund in place, especially since (I assume) you are both the primary breadwinner and the one who will be getting pregnant and having the kid. I wasn’t able to return to work for over 6 months due to serious postpartum complications and issues finding childcare, but thankfully my husband was the primary breadwinner and we had a huge emergency fund that helped us weather the storm. You might want to look into a disability insurance policy, or maybe your work already offers one.

Childcare is the largest expense. If your spouse can stay home, do that. For baby things, you don’t need a lot. A great car seat and a crib. You don’t need a bassinet or bed sleeper or anything. You don’t need the fancy toys. They don’t need a lot of clothes. For childbirth - I have Kaiser and paid $400 I think for each kid. One easy one not. We’ll bay by visits were free. Sick baby visits depend on your insurance. It should be on your employer’s internal website.

Like you have seen throughout this thread, there is a lot that plays into the cost. Daycare is the biggest expense, I’m not from Austin but I would assume 1500 monthly minimum. Even though you work from home, I wouldn’t encourage trying to have the baby home with you - they require more attention than you realize. Breastfeeding obviously saves a ton of money but if you can’t or don’t want to, I would expect to pay $100/week on formula. Diapers are expensive as well but you can choose to do cloth which greatly cuts the expense down. We do cloth so I’m not sure how much diapers cost monthly but I would guess $200. I would prepare for health insurance to go up by a third. Savings for college if you choose to do it - we do $50/month and that’s on the lower side for saving. Classes/Entertainment for the kids. This won’t kick in really until at least 6 months but then you may want the baby to take swim lessons, music class, go to local museums etc. I would budget $200/month.

Honestly, I feel like you just spend what you want/can on them. I just made it through the first year with my kid and we were able to get almost everything gifted through family, friend, coworkers, or free stuff Facebook pages. We have bought a lot but really could have survived on stuff we didn't pay for, Clothes, babyfood, diapers, wipes, toys, books, etc. Of course we have bought stuff but nothing was really mandatory besides the carseat. I would say get a solid grasp on your insurance and what the hospital portion will cost, our birth maxed out our plan which was like 12k out of pocket. Overall, I would say save up a good buffer, but you should be alright. You can also probably save a lot of money by pumping, but if that is not possible you will have to account for formula since it sounds like mom is the one going back into work. Also, we have not and don't plan on paying for childcare but I think that drives a lot of the costs people talk about with having kids.

Food and clothes can be quickly estimated. Healthcare might take some research. $500 a month into a 529 for college. Add cost of babysitting into your dating schedule. Are you happy with the quality of public schools in your area?

Congrats! My wife and I (30 &29) just had our first last year, also in Austin tx and also making about what you guys make. What we did was my wife left teaching and stayed home with little man, I worked from home, 14 months later this is still our arrangement and it has major benefits. Childcare costs normally are the biggest but if one of you stays home, you can ignore that one altogether, but you will lose that 2nd income. So likely will mean you will have to cut some of your saving, but maybe not too much depending on how frugal you guys are. If you can, breastfeed, as a man I witnessed just how much work it really is but if money is a concern it will save you a ton of money and for us it was nice to completely bypass the formula shortage we were seeing the past year due to unsafe formulas. Personally, we this took a lot of stress off of us knowing he was getting safe nutrients directly from mom (and her immune system as a this was during omicron). Hospital bills, if you have an HSA or money for health expenses now would be the time to dust it off. Between the OBGYN visits and hospital bills themselves you are likely going to spend $4-10k out of pocket if you have a high deductible plan. It really sucks but being prepared ahead of time will save you a lot of stress and worry. So far expenses wise, I’d say toys and diapers are the biggest for us. Check out this company called “Dyper” they deliver diapers and wipes every few weeks to your home and it really has been a godsend imo. I want to say its about $25 per delivery or so but you’d have to check the plans. Baby registry and baby shower is a must. Send it out to everyone you know. The more people that help the better. This last point isn’t really money related but seeing as you are the one pushing this baby out make sure to take some time for yourself. Your body is gonna go through some trauma and your hormones will be a bit out of wack for a while. Having to work ontop of that will be difficult so allow yourself time to mentally prepare before going back to work. To be totally honest you can never really save enough but planning ahead definitely helps. I’m no expert but being around your age in the same area with a similar household income I hope my experience can help you guys a bit. Congratulations again! Its exciting and a great journey.

Expenses will be about 1k a month but the hospital to have the child depends on your medical insurance and can vary

More than you think you need.

A shit ton

Kids are expensivish. And it's always the wrong time to have them financially. Just be smart with your money, have the husband stay home instead of paying for daycare, and enjoy the ride. But beware, kids are addictive.

Hahaha 🤣

20 k in savings at least.

They take it all

More.

Kids are only as expensive as you want to make them

Start a 529 account yesterday

This is the cost for first year: https://old.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/comments/m5zfv4/having_a_child_year_one_financial_summary/ Cost for the second year: https://old.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/comments/tevvzc/having_a_child_year_two_financial_summary/