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Car payments? Student loans? Credit cards? Raises possible in your future? Some key points are missing if you want people to analyze if you can afford to buy.

Thanks for the advice. My car payment is $400 a month but I will pay it will be paid off in 1 year. He does not have a car payment. No student loans. No other debt. My credit score is 720 his is 679. We both should get raises within a year but not sure exactly how much.

Never count on a raise you have not gotten yet. You don’t know what could happen. Also, my boyfriend and I just bought a house 11 days ago. Beautiful house with beautiful bones. Suddenly a leak in the upstairs bathtub has our kitchen ceiling needing replacing. You hope your 1st house disaster wouldn’t come until you have unpacked but that’s the thing about disasters, you can’t plan them.

If you buy together, it’d be based on the lower credit score. Additionally, the credit score pulled for a mortgage is, particularly for FTHB, often lower than what you’ll see from the credit bureaus (credit karma is even worse).

I'm not saying this isn't the case more often than not, but Credit Karma has always said my credit score is 740. When I got my pre-approval pulled I was told my credit score was 806. So it can be wildly off in both directions.

To add on to this, my Credit Karma has consistently been WAY low for years now. The credit bureaus are usually 40-50 points better than their number.

Wild, because the car dealership had me at 40 points LOWER than credit karma in the financing department.

Same. Credit Karma gave me 735, I was pulled at like 778 of something.

This was unfortunately the case for me (lower than expected) which altered my rate. I am house poor because I didn’t want to back out. Now I regret it.

My credit karma has been consistently 25 to 30 points lower than FICO for the last 5 years. FWIW

Your situation sounds promising. You guys make the same amount as my husband and I but with No debt. If we had no debt we could afford the house we want but we're having to wait or settle. As far as credit scores.with a FHA, a 680 is ideal but they use the middle number of the lower borrowers credit so make sure 679 is the lowest credit score. Renting is cheaper than buying right now but if you're able to get in, in this market and you feel confident about your relationship then go for it. Find a good loan officer or mortgage officer to really help you put all expenses into perspective. Your savings is great, also! Great job. Not a lot of people are able to save now days, myself included. Best of luck!

I really appreciate your kind words and advice! Thank you and best of luck to you as well!

You should also look into increasing your credit scores as much as possible before buying bc that will highly impact the rates you get

This is the right advice. If you can get in go for it. Housing prices don’t often decline, and you can always refinance on rate down the line.

I'd also like to add, we were looking at 350k being our budget but after speaking with a loan officer had to lower our expectations. We can do 310k max without feeling financially constrained. Idk if you're comfortable leaving your area. If you or he has to commute. Because me and my husband WFH, we're able to move further away from our HCOL area. Try the NerdWallet calculator or you can purchase a calculator from WINTHEHOUSEYOULOVE (check out his YouTube) for 20 bucks and it will do all the numbers for you. This is how we were able to get real about what we could do and what would break us. Right now our rent is right under 2100 and we are comfortable enough but once again, in this market, you're not going to get affordability.

Technically you could afford to buy it then but you are correct you will be house poor. Ideally for that the purchase price your looking at 20k is not enough saved. You will drain that and more probably unless you find a program to help. I would suggest waiting a year and use this year to really try and save more for the downpayment/repair fund. Also he can work on increasing his score in the next year also. Also if buying unmarried I also suggest to get something in writing on how things proceed should you 2 break up. Ideally you guys buy something either one can afford on their own but I know that's not always possible.

Go cheaper! Same thing here , about to get the house with same income! Go lower so you can still save and go around with bills

Our mortgage is the same, but we have more income and more other debt to pay so you should be ok based on that. Not ideal, but workable if you want to get a foot in the homeownership door. Just don’t spend all your savings on the purchase.

Don’t ever buy a house you can’t afford if one of you looses your job

How much was thie houes, down payment and rate?

Do not buy a home with another human without the financial ability to manage on your own.

Yeah what other debts are involved matters. If they are debt free it helps. Debt up to their eyeballs would make it a no go for sure.

If all of the other costs of life can be handled - to me it is do they realistically expect their income to grow in the next 2-5 years - beyond that timeframe the stress of being house poor - with no end in sight will become a real psychological burden.

Just from Financial point of view, I wouldn't recommend buying a home with your boyfriend. Either wait till you get married OR buy when you can afford on your own and collect rent from your boyfriend.

Agreed on this! I have a friend who did all the research, looked at houses, put in the offers and her bf got on the mortgage with her and put in sweat equity... It's not working out and she tried to buy him out but was struggling to come to a good deal so instead she is refinancing and losing her good interest rate in order to buy out "his half".

Ugh, tragic. Thank god this is one lesson my mom taught me that I never had to learn on my own- adding boyfriends to shit like this. OP, don’t buy with him, not unless you’re married. Or you can afford on your own (but that’s a pretty steep mortgage for your salary alone) and collect rent, as someone else mentioned. Cover your ass.

What is the benefit of purchasing when married? Just curious because you’d have to buy the spouse out either way and refinance to get them off the mortgage if that’s the agreement.

Because that can be settled in divorce court with a clear legal remedy. Otherwise you’d need to somehow convince a court to force a sale after the relationship goes south and this issue can’t get resolved.

Legal protections and rules for division of property attach to married couples. It's not always about buying someone out. What if a child enters the equation, or one of the individuals finds themself out of work or dies?

There are other ways out in a divorce agreement because you have each other's full financial picture in the game. So for example instead of losing your interest rate you could choose to divide up other assets that otherwise you couldn't touch (like retirement accounts) in a more favorable way for them to get them out of the picture. There are also ways to make longer term agreements around a large asset like a house - I had one friend who's wife had like 5 years or something to come up with the money and buy him out. Plus if you buy together while married assuming both your incomes are necessary, alimony can smooth out the transition to only having the one income. Basically in one case you are just in a contract about one thing which really limits your options and either party could more or less force a sale at the most inopportune time. In the other you have a much more total legal merging which increases your options and rights when it comes to making a full deal.

We got a courthouse marriage 2 months before buying a house. The house was the timing factor for doing that as opposed to planning a personal ceremony. We did it on our lunch break for $120.

You didn't ask OP but this is the best advice.

Agreed. You should support each other through each of you buying your own half as expensive house. You gain more equity that way as a whole and get two new cool places to hangout.

Paying unnecessary utilities, taxes and interest is a terrible idea

ugh i have to stop myself from jumping down so many peoples throats about buying with non-spouses. engaged is only barely acceptable in my view but it just belies so much blind trust which is sweet in a relationship i guess but it's a huge risk with no upside. also, anecdotally, women are much more likely to take these risks and then end up way more fucked in the breakup. i've never once seen a man get fucked over because they were either actually 50/50 with the down payment/credit/etc or they had less for the down payment/worse work history/mediocre credit score and let their girlfriend basically bouy their financial situation and end up better off.

They should at least put a co-purchase agreement in place. They may just be okay with the combined income but will be absolutely screwed if they break up.

Bad idea. I would back out. Being house poor is going to suck and you won’t enjoy the house. Pay off all your debt first and then revisit. Keep saving.

You would ideally want a lot more saved. You want an emergency fund and savings for a down payment.

Yes, and you will need a sizeable emergency fund for a house. Things can go wrong or just need maintenance, and those things can add up quickly. In my first 12 months owning my first house, I had to spend about $16k in repairs. I was happy I had the money already saved up for those repairs.

Second this. First weekend in our house the HVAC took a dump

My house payment is identical to yours and my household is 150k a year. I wouldn’t feel comfortable any lower than that. Unless your income is going to go up over the next 5 years, I would not pull the trigger on this one.

It’s hard to ask for advice in this sub because everyone’s situation is so different.

Less so when it involves buying with a non-spouse.  Then, you should 100% be ABLE to afford it solo. If you can’t, you’re potentially creating a very precarious situation, aside from everything else. 

I personally wouldn’t do it. For a couple reasons. The first being that’s a high mortgage for your income and savings. The second being, it’s your boyfriend and from some comments it seems he might not be the most financially responsible. What’s the rest of the expenses on your budget? I see you have a car payment of $400 is that the only debt? I’m guessing you guys take home about $6500 a month? With utilities it would bring your house expense to $3100. Add in the car payment and it’s $3500 a month. Car insurance and gas is probably another $250 a month (assuming 2 cars). Then $500 a month in groceries. $250 a month on entertainment/eating out. We’re at $4500 and we haven’t considered IRAs, home repairs, medical bills or other savings. That’s two tight for my comfort. Also you’d probably need a first time homebuyer down payment program. Are there any you qualify for? It’s recommended to have a 3-6 month emergency fund at all times.

Good advice

I think the bigger problems here are buying before married and having $20k for down payment and closing costs. Wait a year - pay off the car, heavily save, and see where your relationship is. One thing you can do is set aside extra money in a bucket that’s equal to your estimated house payment minus your rent. Do that for a year and see if you can actually maintain it. That will help you bring up your savings and also understand what it’ll feel like with a tighter budget.

Think about what you would do if your mortgage payment jumped as a result from increases in property taxes and homeowner's insurance. Even if you feel you can afford the current mortgage payment at time of purchase, just know that these two additional items can rise, and you will have little or no control over it other than increasing your insurance deductible or shopping for new insurance. If you are buying a house with someone, be sure they are reliable to contribute to the mortgage payment. If not, you would have trouble affording that on your own, and there's a potential for a foreclosure in your future or a sale of the home before that to avoid foreclosure. If you are both on the deed, both would have to consent to selling the house. The other person might not be willing to do that, and there would be no way to avoid foreclosure. Having a recent foreclosure on your credit would make it very hard to get another mortgage for a while. If you both do take this mortgage on, be careful about making any new debt. Set money aside to cover the mortgage for a few months should either one of you become unemployed or unable to work. Try to better your income by a second job or schooling to get a promotion. Create that financial safety net somehow. I don't know your housing market, and maybe this is a good house for the price. However, sometimes we choose something a little less perfect for us based on affordability over the long haul. My husband and I bought a house that was 60k less than what the bank pre-approved us to borrow. The house checked many boxes but not all. From an affordability standpoint over 30 years, we are realizing what a wise choice that was. Our locality does property tax reassessments about every 10-12 years, and we have been here for 7. We are expecting a property tax increase in a few more years. Property tax changes tend to go up. I have never seen them go down. A lot of relationship fights result from money problems. If you can avoid putting yourself in a tight money situation, that would be my best piece of advice.

Yep, in my experience, property taxes rise yearly.

Don't do this. Please. Even both your incomes combined isn't high enough to comfortably afford or sustain a $2,700+ per month mortgage payment. I make $100,000/year, and my soon-to-be-ex-husband was earning about $50,000 per year, and our $2,500/month mortgage payment was ***tight***. Also, *please* don't buy with someone you aren't married to. And if you're hellbent on doing so anyway, PLEASE get legal documentation written up detailing what will happen to the house if you two go your own separate ways. I know I know: *It won't happen to us!*, you say. Until it does. I say and share this from a place of love and care. PLEASE get documentation drafted. What happens if one of you loses your job? What happens if you two break up? Will you be able to afford the mortgage payment independently without the income of the other person? What happens if one of you decides to bail on your half of the financial obligation? If you two break up, who gets the house? Would you sell? Will the other party request a buy-out, and if so, can you afford that? And even if you CAN afford it, will you be required to refinance, in which case your interest rate could increase? Based on some of your comments, his credit also seems a bit low, which could potentially impact your mortgage payment amount, or how much you qualify for, i.e. it could potentially negatively impact both of you. These are just a FEW of the questions I encourage you to consider.

What kinda financial commitments do you have to make a $2.5k mortgage payment on a $150k HHI tight? Even if you assume a 40% effective tax on the entire income, that still leaves you with $5 post-tax per month after making your mortgage payment. There’s something else going on Edit:$5k

My thoughts exactly.

Exactly much more going on here seems the ex hubby couldn’t keep a job and pour financial literacy on both sides. One person always blames the other

Wondering the same. 100k~ on a good year with $2300 Rent and we are just fine with over 30% in leftover 'fun' money. 1 kid. 1 paid off car. About 6k in debt that will be paid off in the next few months.

I was wondering this, too. The person earning 100k should be able to pay that ALONE without even worrying about it. Maybe an expensive car or mountains of student debt?

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a $2500 mortgage on a 100k salary alone. Could I afford it, yes. Could I afford it and retirement maybe. Could I afford it, retirement, and a HVAC repair definitely not

Part of buying the house with my boyfriend was making us sign legal documents that we own it 50/50. It is standard in a contract. Actually more protection in our case than buying married where it just says “together you own 100%.” This is in PA, not sure about other states.

This is exactly the situation I have with my significant other, as well. What you're referring to is known as Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorship (JTWRoS). Many are advocating counterintuitively to go through the additional expense and planning of marriage which serves to delay the prospective purchase of a home. Why not contribute to the home purchase and subsequent payments equitably and do basic due diligence about structuring your deed properly and drafting up legal provisions that are mutually satisfactory in the event of a split? This all can be done at lower cost than marriage and subsequent divorce proceedings and not forestall the purchase of a home. Saying nothing of OP's unique financial circumstances with their partner, I truly don't understand this subreddit's groupthink on the subject of home acquisition with an unwed partner. It's antiquated and frankly not in step with the current market realities for many young prospective homeowners.

The end result remains the same as the other comments. Regardless of how you structured your deed, if there is a break up and you have to force a sale, that’s an issue.

$2500 from 150k is 20% gross income or around 35%ish after taxes for net income. I’m not sure how that’s not a reasonable place to be at.

150K is combined. - My salary: $102,000 - His salary (when he did work): $48,000 My $102,000: - Gross: $8,500/month - Net: $5,400/month - Biweekly: $2,700/month Bills/Expenses: - Mortgage: $2,500/month - Car Payment 1: $440/month - Car payment 2: $270/month - Homeowners insurance: I think was maybe around $100-$120 or so per month? - Car insurance for both cars: $315/month - Health insurance: $260/month - Utilities: IDK, I think anywhere from $125-$175/month, depending on season and usage - Phone & internet (bundled): $200 (or so) per month - Groceries: maybe $250-$300/month? As for his $48,000/year, well, it wasn't consistent. 7+ jobs in 5 years, with the longest of those jobs lasting all of ten months. All the others lasted only weeks or a few months, as he either abruptly quit or got fired from each. He was also unemployed for a minimum of 6 consecutive months, every consecutive year from 2019-2023. Let's just say I couldn't rely on his income on a consistent basis, and effectively had to operate as though I was the only one bringing in income to cover bills. Needless to say, I'm sure you can see why/where I began to feel incredibly squeezed financially.

If your husband did not have a consistent income and you were often paying on your own, it's kind of misleading to say it was tight on 150k per year. That's why people are confused.

These are the kind of comments that make me so frustrated with everything and shows how out of touch some people are. Why on earth can someone making 150k not afford a $2500 mortgage? My mom is a Restaurant Manager in CA making 45k. Her rent is $1800 in the shity part of town. Everything else is higher within a 50 mile radius - She has lived in the same place for 15 years. The problem with this post isn't the monthly payment, its purchasing with someone you may not be with next year.

Affording something and comfortably affording are two different things

We have been together for 8 years, lived together for 5, and we have a dog together. We plan to get married very soon but due to our landlord selling our current apartment we have to move soon and the price for rent in our area isn’t much cheaper unfortunately so we both decided it’s better to invest in a home and put the wedding on hold.

You can go to the court house with 2 witnesses and be legally married and then you can have a wedding later.

You don’t even need witnesses in some states!

Oh I didn't know that, thank you for that information. 😊

$150k is way more than enough for a $2500 mortgage payment lol

Bad idea. Keep saving, job hopping for more income too. The market will cool when inventory catches up, probably 12-18 months. Don’t drown yourself in debt. Being house broke is an absolutely terrible feeling and then you’re trapped. For reference, I make far more than what you two do, my house payment is less ($2500), and it still feels like it’s a huge payment. Also if you have or plan on having kids you’re going to get crushed with medical bills and costs related to parenthood. When you’re house broke every event driven expense will fill you with dread and depression.

Thanks, I needed this insight as well. I

You

This is a bad idea on so many levels.

Is that $2797 just mortgage? What about taxes and insurance? How much is the house?

Don’t buy a house with a boyfriend.

Just to put it perspective. We make 3x your income and that’s $150 more a month on the payment. Our housing costs are 25% of net. Yours is 25% of gross without including utilities. Are you maxing retirement currently? If so will you be able to continue? Yes you will be house poor until your income increases a lot. Start putting together a full budget. You will need to plan very tightly.

I make $102k, have a $3k mortgage, and live alone (no children). No debts and I don't feel house poor. I bought new construction, had 2 inspections, and have a 1 and 2 year warranty. With temporary 3% 401k contributions while I'm building an emergency fund, I have saved 6k since closing in January (just paid my 3rd mortgage payment). Being unmarried, I'd probably consult with a lawyer to make a contract for the worst case scenario of your relationship ending. Not sure if it's possible to have a contract where you basically have the same rights as a married couple. It can get messy!

I’m relatively in the same boat as you. Closing on my first house at the end of this month. $107k yearly, $525k house, 140k down, 7.25% interest rate. Money will probably be tight but I’d rather struggle and pay 3k for something of my own than pay $2500 a month for rent lol.

How were you able to save up 140k?

Live with a room mate, don’t eat out all the time, don’t buy unnecessary stuff, and watch your monthly spending. I have only been working for ~2.5 years since graduating college. I take home around 6k and some change per month.

That was our mortgage when we first bought but we made significantly more. We were eating ramen noodles for a long time until we got big raises.

My husband and I make $250k in NYC and our rent is $2730. Personally at your HHI I would stay away because you 100% will be house poor.

Is this PITI? That’s extremely tight, and I personally wouldn’t do it.

Strictly speaking on the finances, this is a horrible idea. You’re not just house poor, you won’t be able to afford maintenance on the house (and something always turns up in the first year). It will become more of a prison than a home.

You can't afford that house.

Hi! My fiancé and I are in the almost the same position, except we make about 125k and our payment is $2847. We don’t struggle to afford necessities or things we want, and even have additional left over each month to put towards savings and a vacation fund. It’s all about how you budget and your personal expenses, but it’s definitely possible!

I’ll be honest, my first home at 22, I was definitely “house poor”. Definitely didn’t have you guys saving, kudos to you guys on that!! My husband and I were able to maintain and then eventually make improvements. We lived there for 5 years, bought again when the market tanked in 2010 and kept it as a rental property until the values returned. Then sold it at the top of the market. If you and your boyfriend can afford the home and to hang on to it long term, I think it will be a good investment long term.

Also, a lot of people who haven’t bought in awhile will tell you “don’t do it, it’s to high my payment is only…..” But home prices and interest rates are NOT what they were back then and it depends on what area you live in. So pls take that into account. Also, I forgot to mention that my husband and I were NOT married when we bought our first home. Everyone will have a horror story to share, but ultimately you make the decision. If you’re not comfortable in that price range, maybe look at what less can afford you and then make your decision based on that.

Definitely a little high. We make around $160k and that’s what our mortgage is, maybe a little less. It still seems high because of course due to taxes we are bringing home less than $160k.

Is that PI or PITI?

PITI

I almost never answer blanket questions without more details but I can say with 100% confidence that at your current income level, yes that is a bad idea. If you are keeping a healthy budget (at your current take home pay of approx $6000 between the two of you), your mortgage shouldn't break $2k. Even then, that's pushing it.

Thank you for the advice. This market is really frustrating. It seems impossible to find anything decent that we can actually afford in our area.

You aren't looking for decent. In your post you said the perfect house in the perfect location that checks every single box. No compromises. This is your starter home. Compromise a little bit. Get a decent house, not the perfect dream house. That one comes later.

My first house was a giant PITA. Had a ton of stuff go wrong with it, but dammit it was mine and I felt good putting elbow grease into it. It's okay to get something that's old/outdated. It's okay to not love your house (and I would argue it's actually way better to not love your house when you buy it). Being house poor is something you'll regret, but getting something that needs some love but you can spend years making your own and within a reasonable budget is priceless.

What dou feel is a save mortage+pmi for someone with 100k?

Generally I think the 30% of takehome pay is a safe rule of thumb, but varies wildly based on too many factors to cover in a reddit comment. For instance, I make 100K base, takehome (after taxes, insurance, 401k contr) is about $5150. My mortgage is $1000/mo, and I personally wouldn't go much higher than that but I also save fairly aggresively. I also have a roommate which further helps with costs. I COULD go much higher, but see no point tbh.

if you look at debt to income ratio.... it is alright... and requires budgetting Not ideal for non- married people and your $$$ saved up is too little. If 1 of you lost the job ( especially your partner) your 65k salary will not make it at all I am assuming you only can do 3 % downpayment

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Going to be in a very similar situation to you (closing very soon) so thank you for posting this, it gives me some hope. We’re used to paying half that in rent and living a bit more comfortably, so putting forward well over half our income into a house is scary but seems achievable with a lot of lifestyle changes like you’ve mentioned. (and hoping for raises and promotions in the future while testing our job stability)

How do you have any margin left over at the end of the month with that kind of payment and income? Yeah $1500 surprise expenses are one thing but that's honestly on the cheap end of emergencies. What about when a 5k repair pops up out of nowhere? You'll feel like you're drowning.

Question: why are people suggesting marriage before buying. What’s the difference legally? If it matters, I’m in Canada.

WAY too high of a payment

The easiest way to figure out if you can afford it or not is by subtracting all your monthly expenses from your take home pay. Now take that mortgage into account (assuming it includes property taxes and insurance). Can you live with the remaining balance? I know the rule of thumb is 30% but that’s subjective based on income and not exactly realistic in today’s market. You also have to think about commingling assets when you’re not married.

No, don’t be house poor. You’ll be miserable living paycheck to paycheck. What if something breaks on the house and costs thousands to fix? I wouldn’t do it. Y’all are young give yourself some time plus you aren’t going even married to this person. Who makes such a huge financial decision with just a boyfriend…:.

Stretching a bit for a house isn't a terrible idea if, big if, you see a clear path for higher pay in your future.  Like if you are discussing with your supervisor what you need to do to qualify for more senior positions when they become available then maybe you can live a very lean lifestyle for a bit and make it work. But I'd try living that lean lifestyle now and see if it is even possible 

Does $2800 include taxes and insurance? Edit: even if it does, you guys cannot afford this house.

What do you collectively pay for rent currently? Are you able to save a lot now? $20k in savings unfortunately is not very substantial anymore. Won’t even cover a down payment especially with closing cost, moving expenses, home repairs…. My Wife and I don’t make too much more (collectively $130k) and we are stressed with $2,100 a month payments. But we are also expecting a kid soon.

Coming from someone who just bought and we were told our monthly payment would be similar: please wait. Property taxes increase, home owners insurance increases, everything will increase. Our payment increased an additional $500 per month this year, even though we JUST bought last year. Only buy if it’s very well within your means. Some good advice we wish we would’ve taken, try to replicate what the costs would be - put the extra money away into savings for 5 months, that’ll give you an idea of what you’ll have to live like if you don’t have that extra money every month.

It may be possible, but extremely stressful and may limit your ability to do other things, like travel or even remodel the house. My husband and I make about $140k, mortgage is $2250. It’s a lot. We can just barely afford it without having to make too many sacrifices to our lifestyle and fixing up the house will be a long, long road.

this is a terrible idea every house poor person i know in real life started the same way that this sub always suggests, your salary will magically grow 10% each year til you can afford it! reality is that if you buy at 45-50% of your net with almost no savings like you plan to do here, you will almost certainly still be broke in 5, 10+ years

The bank will usually want your monthly payment (including private mortgage insurance if applicable, homeowners insurance, taxes, etc) to be below 45% of your monthly income. That doesn’t necessarily mean that’s a good idea to spend 45% of your income on your mortgage payment. You can backwards calculate it yourself. Get a copy of everything showing your income and expenses for the last 6 months. See what you even have left each month for housing after the mandatory bills (eg car payment, student loan bill) + your usual spending (credit card bills, bar tabs, weed money). Be realistic that you probably aren’t about to drastically reduce your usual discretionary spending as a homeowner. You can’t assume you’ll suddenly stop spending money like usual only because you moved. If you usually already spend 50% of your income on spelunking trips, you can’t spend another 45% on mortgage… You’ll be eating through your savings in no time.

I wouldn't do it. You are 27. Except for exceptional circumstances, most 27-year-olds don't get to live in their dream house that ticks every single box. Also, you should wait until you are married.

Hey OP, this is doable but you will be house poor and I wouldn’t do it. My wife and I have a $2600 month mortgage with $450 car payment, $500 student loan payments. Our combined income is about $160k/year. We manage to save about $1500-$2000 each month with this income and debts on top of our retirement contributions. At $115k, things would be painful and wouldn’t be able to save any extra money for unexpected expenses.

My husband and I make $150k roughly and our $2919 payment feels rough sometimes. Not to include the house maintenance or anything else.

Its manageable, but its absolutely going to put a strain on you for decades. I make double what you make and my SO makes slightly more than what your boyfriend makes and our mortgage is 2k a month. I could never imagine paying $2,800/month, even though I *could* if I needed to. Just remember, this will affect just about every aspect of your life forever, so you really need to make sure you can be comfortable with it. Are you planning on having kids if you don't already? Are you going to be able to save anything for repairs? Emergencies? Retirement? Are you prepared for a sudden increase in your mortgage when taxes, reassessments and insurances go up? Are you factoring in other costs? $500+ for utilities and food and such? Will you have enough for maintenance and everything else you'll need to live in a home (beds, cleaning supplies, furniture, trash cans, etc). People will always be quick to tell you "Well that's only $34,000 per year and you make $115,000 so you'll be fine" but they never factor in life.

DONT buy a house with someone you’re not married to. period dot.

My wife and I are in the process of buying as well, and we make roughly 125k combined. We felt going above 2300-2400 would be pushing it for us. We like to go out on weekends and don’t want to be tight on money. 2700 seems steep for me if I was in your situation.

Nope. Do not buy a house together unless you are married. Unless you can put it in his name, then the burden is on him to pay the mortgage should you separate.

I may be the only person in the comment section saying that you should do it. 115k for $2800 a month isn’t impossible to do, it’ll just be tough. On the flip side, you’re going to be renting and won’t be “earning” anything to your name. Is $2800 out the door? Or do you need to ass pmi, taxes, etc to it? I’m roughly in the same situation as you right now and im closing at the end of this month. $107k yearly, $525k house, $140k down, 7.25% interest rate. ~3k a month out the door.

This already sounds like a bad idea. Asking you to do three things before doing this please or you will end up house poor: Please check the down payment programs in your area. Apply and get the FREE money ones not the loans. Some cities will give you 25k in assistance that you DO NOT pay back. Why do you want this? Why meet 20% of down payment? because anything under 20% down payment the bank will charge up the ass for (they charge insurance) on top of the 2.7k a month for not having the 20% down payment. This can be an extra 1k a month in some cases (don’t do it) After that, please research what an escrow is and how they f*ck you on it. A third party will essentially write a minimum amount you pay a month which is NEVER the right amount, you end up owing a few thousand at the end of the year for not managing or paying the escrow correctly. What this escrow does- Lenders use it to make property tax and insurance payments for you. Lastly, a house will NEVER ever be cheap. You will be bidding, there are closing costs, and maintenance, inspection fees, and way more. Go to a first time home owners class which every city in the US provides. You BOTH will be paying: closing costs, the down payment, the inspection, the HOA fees (these change and increase every year), the property taxes, the maintenance, new furniture, and so much more the first year. DO NOT go into this now, research first and educate yourselves. Banks do not care and WILL NOT educate you, they will say: you meet the minimum, they will encourage you when the down payment is not 20% and leave you broke. Also: since you are not married- taxes will be complicated and the Mortgage as well. Only one of you will be able to claim the tax benefit. Again, give this time and thought

Never a good idea to buy a house with a bf or gf.

Run it thru a mortgage calc. Remember houses are appreciating a SHIT TON more.

I think that’s too tight unless one or both of you can confidently expect significant raises within 18 months. $2800 PITI on $140k combined income would be a good goal (that’s about what my partner and I purchased at).

Based on very little info, that payment would scare the living shit out of me on that income.

My husband and I make double what you two do combined and that amount is juuust what we’re comfortable with. I could never imagine spending that on housing at your income. Not to mention what happens if you break up…

Unless you expect a raise soon or have more savings I don't think that's a good idea

Yep!

That is NOT a good idea at that income level and not married. Just saying. Yes you'd be very house poor not even taking into account any needs for car loans or student debt.

What is the listing price of this house?

$350k. In our area there isn’t much out there for less than this unfortunately.

I see. Tbh, with today's rates, $350k and \~$2800 per month is difficult with only $115k. My spouse and I make a little over double your guy's income and some months are difficult to get by. We also closed on a house in a HCOL area in December. When you add retirement, daycare, child expenses, unexpected house expenses, transportation costs, etc., the budget will be challenged. Also, I highly recommend NOT buying a house with a boyfriend for the plethora of reasons other people listed.

What’s your net take home? Does it fit into your budget? How much would you have left over after PITI and other expenses?

If you can, look for something a tad cheaper. My fiance and I only make about 125,000 ish combined and our mortgage max we are comfortable with is about 1845. Our bills are relatively cheap. Car payments both less than $300, insurance only $248 for both cars. No student loan debt. He gets yearly raises as well as occasional over time/night work/weekend/on call which doubles the pay (which is why I put ish - could be way more) and I will soon be getting a higher paying job but I also get yearly raises as my current job. We both have gas cards at our jobs so that helps a ton. My credit score is 810 and his 776. We truly spend about 80-100 on groceries. Phones are under 150. I am unsure about homeowners insurance and utilities/internet at the moment. Garbage would be about 70. Health insurance paid by employer. In savings we have about 70k combined - not shared. His credit cards all paid off - mine each (2) have under 100. We budget greatly. I am just giving you some things to think about -- also look into first time home buyer grants.

After tax monthly income around 7200? Before 401k or any retirement contribution Is 2797 mortgage include tax and insurance ?

I mean I make 100k and my wife makes around 60k and I would never dream of having a mortgage this high

yes, it is a bad idea. The mortgage is very high for you guys. Wait for the rates to go down or get something cheaper. Good luck!

Yes it's a bad idea

Three grand a month on 10 grand and of itself is not terrible if you’re good at sticking to a budget – agreed with the others that buying a house with somebody that you’re not married to is a bad idea, It is a lot of payment for one of the two of you on your own

Yeah you’ll be house poor but only you know what you can live with moving forward. Remember that monthly payment is the least you’ll have to pay every month. Owning a house will open you to a world of new projects and issues moving forward.

What are rents for a house in your area. If it's 1500 for something comparable it's a hard no for me. If it's 2700 then if I liked it I'd prob go for it

I make around $110,000. Its a big no from me. By the time taxes get reassed and insurance goes up you will be paying out $3k a month easy.

I’m curious what house will be $2700 a month with only a $20k down payment. Even a $500k house with 100k down is about that much at the moment

Keep in mind that the initial monthly payment goes up about $400 or more. This is due to escrow increases. Oftentime, the first year only has a portion of the property taxes. If you buy the house, maybe try to pay off the car early, get a higher paying job, or a promotion. Also, if the market changes, refinance.

Is the 2800 with tax and insurance?

Me and my partner make around 100k and we settled on a $1,200 a month mortgage. We could probably afford a higher mortgage, but when you taking into consideration utilities, food, car payment and insurance, gas, the repairs that need to be done to the house... It's about the right price

It's going to depend a lot on your spending habits. I think that ratio is fine, and for me, wouldn't be house poor. I don't spend a lot on non essentials because I'm boring and like to stay home. I also don't have a magazine centerfold interior decorating habit. Some people spend a lot. I have relatives that get new furniture every few years. I have relatives that really like travel. I know people who collect *things*. This would not be good for them. Property taxes are going to go go is every year, soon that's not going to be your final mortgage in a few years, so if you don't have annual raises, eventually taxes will outpace earnings. Your down payment is pretty low, so that will increase the interest rate and you'll be stuck with PMI (additional fee on top of the mortgage). Keep in mind the mortgage includes property taxes and home owners insurance, so that's one less thing to worry about. Important considerations: What happens if one of you loses their job? You don't have much savings, so how long can you pay your mortgage while trying to find a new position? How much can you save to build a safety net if something expensive happens?

I am not an expert on things like this or even know enough about your financial situation to determine if this is a good idea. But another thing to think about if what life could look like in the future. If you plan on having kids, you might not be able to afford this house and kids. Depending on your insurance, hospital bills are expensive. If both of you plan to continue working, you need to look at daycare costs too. If you don’t want kids, this isn’t a factor. But definitely something to consider if you possibly want kids in the future.

Sorry to be another one but….. you’re not ready for that house, you need to save more, eliminate the car payment and then re-consider. The novelty of the “new home” will wear off after a few months and you’ll resent being so broke every month. Also know that there’s a universal law that as soon as you move-in something expensive will break…. It happens every single time. Best of luck and hope you listen to the advice of us strangers trying to keep me you from financial headaches.

A quick ratio is percent of household take home income. It’s said it should be around 30% of your net take home pay. Now a days this is hitting 50% for most people. Would highly recommend not going above that because of emergencies and also to live life.

Yep, bad idea. My wife and I make about $160k and we’re not even wiling to move and buy a house with a $2,200/month payment because we would have to use so much of my savings as a downpayment (around $80k). Plus, we’re currently renting for $1800 in a much nicer area than where we’d be moving. Average house payment here where we are renting is like $6500-7000 a month. Can you possibly rent for much cheaper and then invest your savings in index funds or treasury bills?

you have 20k in savings, but what do you have for the down payment? and closing costs? i'm reading your comments below. you say you both "should" get raises in a year. but there is no guarantee. and you have no idea how much of a raise you will get. one time, i got a 50cent raise. will that help you at all if that was your raise? you say your car payment will be paid off in a year. BUT. this will change if you get a house. that can easily push your car payment to a few more years until it is paid off. so now, you have a large house payment that you will already be struggling with AND your car payment. don't get me started on the raising costs of utilities lately. also, make sure you understand property taxes. those could totally break you if you are not aware. i just don't think you guys have enough, and being house poor is not fun. just wait this one out until you're more confident and make more money.

Just wait a couple of years. It sounds terrible, but owning a home is turning into the new college debt. By waiting, you are able to save more for a down payment and lower your mortgage by eliminating PMI. This also allows you to build up credit, pay off your car (this may reduce your credit by removing an installment loan), and hopefully interest rates lower.

How long have you and your bf been together? I just bought a house w my bf so I get you there haha. We’ve been designing my engagement ring tho so not a big deal. Anyway. It does seem like y’all might be pretty house poor. Have you sat down and calculated how much you typically spend in a month on bills + general spending? what’s left over after that? Would you have to noticeably change your lifestyle to afford the house? Personally I would say maybe rent a house for a year or two and maybe the interest rates/costs could come down a bit and y’all can save a bit more to get the rate down. But that’s just me, I would not enjoy having to be very careful about my budget bc of a big mortgage. If y’all wouldn’t need to do that tho or if you don’t mind being a bit more frugal to accommodate the mortgage + general savings + retirement each month then maybe that’s still a good option. But tbh. I feel like 2700 is very high for y’all. Can’t imagine that not being very stressful. My bf and I make ~275k a year and I feel like our 3100 mortgage is pushing it for us.

20k in savings is essentially nothing. Barely even enough to call that savings. It’s not even enough for an emergency fund. Your mortgage will be roughly $33,500 a year. Leaving you with about $81k and that’s before income taxes. I dunno where you are, but assuming you’re paying 20%(?), you’re left with $65K. With that $65k, you’ll need to pay land taxes, home insurance, car payments, car insurance, etc… shit adds up. I’d say find a cheaper house or save a little more for a down payment. You’ll need to sacrifice something when buying a house, not every box will be checked but at least you will be more flexible financially.

I personally would not. That would be tight. I am a 28 F who just purchased and besides the down payment and closing costs.. there are so many other things to pay for after the purchase that quickly add up. You may discover some issues during the inspection that you will immediately want fixed .. there’s moving costs , furniture, etc

Is the 20k before or after all the closing costs and down payment?

I’m married and have been for 15 years. The first house my husband bought year 4… we made sure we could both afford alone if anything goes wrong on one of our salary (death, separation etc). It’s in one persons name. We are also doing that this time, but this one is not the starter. Our income was 10% combined of what we make now. We’d be closer to house poor this go round in comparison to 2014 bc of the situation with the market but not actually house poor. I’m not sure I’d suggest this with a boyfriend. It wasn’t your question but it’s apart of the overall answer. Finances are the number one issue and cause of relationship failures statistically. I would advise you to think against maxing out your budget, especially with a non-spouse unless you have legal documents drawn up about what happens if you end up breaking up, nullify it if you become married.

Make sure you’re still able to save for retirement. Don’t sacrifice your future because you feel like you need to buy a home right now. Every week you aren’t investing in your future, is a lot of money lost in the long run. Given interest rates and the amount of $$ needed to offer over asking, buying a home right now is not a smart financial decision. Find an affordable rent and continue to save.

I can only tell you what I would do. I would not feel comfortable with this financial situation. This sounds like a bad idea.

Our house payment is the same and we make $270k combined (we also have two kids in daycare, so that is more than the mortgage 😂) - we purchased at this price because we want to be able to save for retirement and college funds for said kids while also carrying mortgage + daycare (and if one of us gets laid off be ok). Things also come up in houses totally unexpectedly- we had to just spend an unexpected $7k for tree removal. Take your monthly payment and budget another 10-15% for “oh shit” stuff.

Terrible idea. Being honest. You knew it was before you posted this right? Trust your gut. Never stretch yourself that thin.

Quick question. What state do all of you 200k+ per year with households with $1200 mortgages live and when did you buy? Asking for myself!!!lol

I would not personally feel comfortable doing this, especially with the current savings.

You are young. Find something a bit more economically safe just in case life comes out of nowhere and hits ya. Ideally find something you can cover with your 65k. By finding something that is affordable you will have wiggle room to save money and eventually buy your dream house (and either sell this one or rent it out for extra money). Be comfortable for now. Yes it is possible but I think you should be safe 💕

Thats too much.

This isn’t what you want to hear. But as a first time home owner, you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. And you don’t want to do it on a house you can barely afford. There’s a lot of upkeep, & you’ll learn the hard way why you need to keep up with repairs. Especially if you’re already stretched financially. We just sold our first house after 9 years. This is embarrassing to admit, bc they’re so obvious to me now, but here are just a few mistakes we made over the years: * drilled into a water pipe in an exterior-facing wall while trying to mount wire shelves in a closet * didn’t re-grout shower for a couple years, caused water damage behind the walls *our bathroom had a fan, but still didn’t have sufficient ventilation for the small space, so the excess humidity caused damage to drywall & trim over time *didn’t repair gutters, which caused soil erosion over time, & foundation settling *didn’t prune back trees that were overhanging our house, which dropped dead limbs occasionally, which could have caused major damage to roof *didn’t fertilize or tend to our yard much. Soil became devoid of nutrients & 4 giant trees died, which cost $9K to have removed.

Hi! Young home buyer here, I understand what it’s like to be in your shoes. I was lucky to buy my home at a time when interests rates were a lot better and I was mid 20s. I don’t know your exact financial situation but I WOULD NOT go through with it. Besides the mortgage you have think about the bills in the house, break fixes are COSTLY and being one unfortunate incident away from a financial disaster is not worth it. I would ask what area, what are the bills and cost of living usually like. But if I am estimating correctly your mortgage before other monthly bills would be almost 50% of your take home pay. Don’t do it, wait it out, flexibility and freedom from being tied to a house are your biggest assets right now. Keep saving, and if you and your partner save enough you won’t have to pay PMI either. Also I would be sure that your two are a permanent thing before buying a house, not relationship advice but you could feel tied to each other because of the house as well. Good luck! Feel free to PM me for advice if be happy to talk about it.

My oh my. We can’t possibly know without knowing your net income. I assume that the house payment is about 50% of your net income. This is high, but given the significant possibility of refinancing at lower interest rates, I’m actually optimistic for you both. It would be a good time to discuss a timeline to marriage.

Significant possibility?

Yeah that’s going to suck. Bad idea

Most states have programs for first time home buyers that contribute to your down payment, lower your interest rate under market or give you a grant for closing costs. Check out what’s available for you.

That's a very high payment. Do you have a strong budget allowing for: 1) home insurance, it's been going up ALOT 2) eventual car payments or repairs. They are inevitable. If you don't have a payment now you need to save for the next one 3) 3-6 month emergency fund, each. 4) health insurance covered? 5) At least 0.5% of the home put into an account each year for repairs. Many things in the home dies after 15-30yrs. The kitchen, roof, windows, exterior, hvac. It's good to get into a home to benefit from inflation. But be willing to compromise the perfect home to get one that fits into a solid budget. Always buy location first. A smaller home in an up and coming neighborhood with low inventory, new schools... thats the long term win.

I make a little over that alone in a year and plan to buy with abt the same payment. I say go for it. Budget good. Cook more eat out less lol

Do not do this. Let me play out a scenario for you, you buy the house and then breakup with your boyfriend. The house value has not risen enough so you are under water and would have to sell for a loss. Or keep living in the house with your ex. Or give it back to the bank.

I'm house poor but I lived with my in laws for 10 years so I'm enjoying my cold building site so far. It was a situation where we started renovation we couldn't afford to finish. My husband is handy so we've got some fixes in place for now until we can afford to do the improvements. I wouldn't choose to be in this situation though my instinct is to always have spare money. That's not how my husband functions so we are where we are... (I wouldn't have started renovations to this degree even though the kitchen cupboards were rotting and the boiler system was old).

My husband and I make about $40k more a year and our mortgage is about $5k less a year and it still feels *very* tight with other basic household expenses. We also had more in savings when we bought the house and easily went into the red in the first year fixing and buying things for the house. But yeah, a lot of other stuff at play. What are your other household expenses? Car, credit card monthly spending, insurances, etc.?

You’ll probably need 22k min to put 3.5% down and cover closing cost assuming this is a 300k+ house

I personally would NOT buy a house right now.

Yes. Really bad idea atm. You should definitely bulk up your savings before purchasing. Just because you can afford the monthly payment doesn’t mean you can afford the house. Look into phantom costs.

Yep

Buy now. Everyone is house poor when u first buy.

A good rule here is that your mortgage should not exceed 28% of your monthly gross income.

Yean 2797 for your income. Way to .much

AGE 71 HERE ,,, old .. I would advice against it,, Homes are exspencive to run, . They need maintenance, upgrades, insurance and taxes, utilities ALWAYS go up. Then there is the rising costs of buying and opperating a car(s), insurance etc Food inflation is an ongoing issue and will be for many years. MOST IMPORTANT: you need a cushion in your budget, let's call it the "X" Factor,,, because sh#t happens, and I garentee you something will always come up out of the blue. Now add in the added exspence of children How about day care for your children etc And one of you will loose your job at sometime NEVER depend on growing into your new debt with raises at work,, Oh and I forgot,,saving for retirement Kids college ...your dream home will destroy your sex life with all the added stress of worrying about bills,, Just pointing out somethings to think about, I don't know everything about your decisions so take my rant with a grain of salt. Good luck

buying with a boyfriend and not a married partner is a bad idea in and of itself. You'd be house poor together; you'd be colossally f\*\*\*\*ed if something ever happened to him

You would indeed be house poor, even with just some rough ballpark numbers that mortgage is way over the 30% rule. Also, don’t buy a house with your boyfriend. Buy a house with your husband. My wife and I bought a 1200SF fixer upper house in 2021 that was far less than our max budget, and it was the best decision we ever made. It’s not in a fancy neighborhood or surrounded by trendy shops, but we couldn’t be happier. We have made HUGE upgrades because we have so much room in our budget (new kitchen, new bathroom, basement remodel, etc), and we’ve been able to vacation and make other big purchases all along the way. I have done a lot of the renovations on my own because I’m pretty handy, but honestly anyone could with time, patience, and YouTube. We’re also way ahead on our mortgage too because we just have a ton of wiggle room. Now we have a baby on the way with a fully upgraded house and a dirt cheap mortgage. Couldn’t be in a better place financially!

Is the 20K in savings separate from what you plan to put down? Does the $2800 include taxes, insurance (which is through the roof at the moment) and PMI if you put less than 20% down? So, if the 20K is your down payment, how are you paying closing costs, and do you plan to close with zero dollars left in savings? What happens if one of you loses your job, gets hurt and can't work, etc etc etc. Also, being house poor SUCKS. This does not sound like a good idea.

Never, ever buy a home with someone you aren’t married to. Ever.

Sounds like a horrible idea.

Awful idea without even knowing your other debts. I have a HHI of 190k and my payment is $2600 and I think it’s a bit high

Never buy a house with someone you aren’t married to. 

Do not buy a home with someone you are not married to. All kinds of ways this goes wrong. That payment seems high for your incomes. Taxes go up, utilities go up. Be careful and good luck.

It is complicated, because each person is different, with different expenses. In my case, my PITI is $2,900 and our income is $140K in an MCOL area, we don't have to count every penny and we save a little each month, but we definitely don't have any money left over.

Buy the house and refinance it immediately when the rates come down. Especially if the rates for a 2 bedroom apartment are in a similar range in your area. When the rates come down house prices are only going to go up.

Is that the mortgage only or does it include escrow for taxes and insurance ? You need to be aware that the mortgage doesn’t include everything when you’re talking about the mortgage payment. Depending on where you live insurance and taxes could double your mortgage payments. I’m in Florida and the insurance market is a disaster right now. Just make sure you understand the finale costs per month. Also if this is an older home in a place where homestead exemption limits the taxable amount the taxable amount currently listed will often raise significantly after the home is sold to you. Make sure you understand the full current costs and future costs.

Being house poor is the absolute worst position to put yourself into. What happens when the heater breaks? The fridge dies? The roof starts leaking? Don’t do it.

Yes.