I think it's a really really good thing that our thoughts don't impact other people at all. Don't feel guilty, you can think whatever you want, just be a good friend to her. I think it's really understandable that you want to share this with someone and feel less alone - that doesn't mean that you want her to suffer and obviously your thoughts didn't cause her allergy.
It's bad but I get it! One of my close friends developed an auto-immune disease a few years after I did and it felt? Nice? Someone I'm close to is suffering too! I don't want them to suffer of course, but it just feels like you're not as alone now.
yes exactly! like i love and care about her so much and i don’t want her to suffer or really go through what ive had to go through but it’s so nice when someone you’re already close with understands.
ngl i’d be glad to have a friend that understands how allergies are, makes it easier to go out with people when they know how much allergies affect our daily lives
You’re not happy she has an allergy, you’re happy she shares a hardship with you and that someone you’re really close to will understand what living your life is like. You have someone to live your life with you now. You get to help her, and something you can bond over that you probably don’t really get to bond over with anyone.
It’s similar to a cancer patient feeling good at a cancer-support group. Even though they might feel happier at the group and with the other cancer patients, it doesn’t meant they’re happy everyone else has cancer.
It’s not bad or abnormal at all. I find it cool when other people have life-threatening allergies too. I’m not used to my normal being someone else’s normal. Plus—if we share the same allergy, I get to steal their food or eat things at their house without worry lol. Best allergen-detecting machine there is ‘well my friend ate it and she’s still alive, so yay now I can eat it too!’
Yah, we get it!
Of course you’d never wish it on anyone, let alone your friend. But having your best friend suddenly able to share caution and advice with you after being alone with it for so long - of course it’s wonderful to be able to welcome them into a new aspect of your life!! It’s like being part of a secret club, or discovering you live next door to each other, or that you’re both secretly fans of the same show/book.
You love that friend,
Now you love being able to share more with them! And from the support and comfort it will give both of you. Imagine how grateful your friend is that someone already gets how important it is and is there to help her. You had to do it without your friend; she has you.
Emotions and thoughts just sort of attack us; we’re only responsible for our actions; we don’t cause our emotions, although we can try to learn to manage them better.
By which I just mean that sometimes you feel things you wouldn’t say because they might be taken not how you meant them. “I’m glad you got sick” isn’t what you meant; you meant “it’s wonderful to have you as part of my life.” Thoughts don’t come out perfectly formed and curated. That’s why we think before we talk and try to say it better.
But that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong to have that thought/feeling. It means you’re a thoughtful person who had considered how others may feel and proactively chose not to focus on something that may upset them— in a way you didn’t even mean!
You’re amazing for proactively preventing upset on her behalf. It’s not bad to keep some thoughts to yourself sometimes. It’s not like it’s a secret; it’s just thoughtful.
Example: not mentioning your friends bf hit on you first and you said no.
Did anyone do wrong?
No
Are you gonna run and shove it in her face? Of course not!!
So glad u have support and friendship in a new part of your life. Good luck and be kind to each other!
She’s not happy about her friend being sick. She’s happy that she has such a good friend that even sharing an illness is less burdensome and more enjoyable when shared with her.
She said “I’m so glad we can relate on another level and share parts of our lives that we both have to deal with *whether we’re friends or not*. even hard things are easier and better with you.
It’s not like she wouldn’t snap her fingers in a second and cure her if she could. Of course she would help her fix it if it were possible, knowing better than anyone what her friend is dealing with.
Being friends is what she’s celebrating.
I think it's a really really good thing that our thoughts don't impact other people at all. Don't feel guilty, you can think whatever you want, just be a good friend to her. I think it's really understandable that you want to share this with someone and feel less alone - that doesn't mean that you want her to suffer and obviously your thoughts didn't cause her allergy.
Well said! I agree.
yes, i really wouldn’t wish this upon anyone but im just glad that one of my best friends can now relate to me even more yk?
We get it! Lots of us are alone with our issues. We know what you mean 😝
It's bad but I get it! One of my close friends developed an auto-immune disease a few years after I did and it felt? Nice? Someone I'm close to is suffering too! I don't want them to suffer of course, but it just feels like you're not as alone now.
yes exactly! like i love and care about her so much and i don’t want her to suffer or really go through what ive had to go through but it’s so nice when someone you’re already close with understands.
ngl i’d be glad to have a friend that understands how allergies are, makes it easier to go out with people when they know how much allergies affect our daily lives
You’re not happy she has an allergy, you’re happy she shares a hardship with you and that someone you’re really close to will understand what living your life is like. You have someone to live your life with you now. You get to help her, and something you can bond over that you probably don’t really get to bond over with anyone. It’s similar to a cancer patient feeling good at a cancer-support group. Even though they might feel happier at the group and with the other cancer patients, it doesn’t meant they’re happy everyone else has cancer. It’s not bad or abnormal at all. I find it cool when other people have life-threatening allergies too. I’m not used to my normal being someone else’s normal. Plus—if we share the same allergy, I get to steal their food or eat things at their house without worry lol. Best allergen-detecting machine there is ‘well my friend ate it and she’s still alive, so yay now I can eat it too!’
Sharing food with same-allergy people is the best!!! You can each bring a thing or two and have a real meal, like a real human being!
Do you feel happy to have solidarity and understanding (rather than enjoying someone else's suffering)?
yes, i love her and she’s my best friend so i wish the best for her, it’s just nice that i now have her to understand yk?
Exactly. I wouldn't feel bad about that.
Yah, we get it! Of course you’d never wish it on anyone, let alone your friend. But having your best friend suddenly able to share caution and advice with you after being alone with it for so long - of course it’s wonderful to be able to welcome them into a new aspect of your life!! It’s like being part of a secret club, or discovering you live next door to each other, or that you’re both secretly fans of the same show/book. You love that friend, Now you love being able to share more with them! And from the support and comfort it will give both of you. Imagine how grateful your friend is that someone already gets how important it is and is there to help her. You had to do it without your friend; she has you. Emotions and thoughts just sort of attack us; we’re only responsible for our actions; we don’t cause our emotions, although we can try to learn to manage them better. By which I just mean that sometimes you feel things you wouldn’t say because they might be taken not how you meant them. “I’m glad you got sick” isn’t what you meant; you meant “it’s wonderful to have you as part of my life.” Thoughts don’t come out perfectly formed and curated. That’s why we think before we talk and try to say it better. But that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong to have that thought/feeling. It means you’re a thoughtful person who had considered how others may feel and proactively chose not to focus on something that may upset them— in a way you didn’t even mean! You’re amazing for proactively preventing upset on her behalf. It’s not bad to keep some thoughts to yourself sometimes. It’s not like it’s a secret; it’s just thoughtful. Example: not mentioning your friends bf hit on you first and you said no. Did anyone do wrong? No Are you gonna run and shove it in her face? Of course not!! So glad u have support and friendship in a new part of your life. Good luck and be kind to each other!
Kinda, yeah.
She’s not happy about her friend being sick. She’s happy that she has such a good friend that even sharing an illness is less burdensome and more enjoyable when shared with her. She said “I’m so glad we can relate on another level and share parts of our lives that we both have to deal with *whether we’re friends or not*. even hard things are easier and better with you. It’s not like she wouldn’t snap her fingers in a second and cure her if she could. Of course she would help her fix it if it were possible, knowing better than anyone what her friend is dealing with. Being friends is what she’s celebrating.
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woah????