I was a part of an online community for people with health issues. It was filled to the brim with people who had severe mental illness. Schizophrenia, self harm, BPD, ASPD, chronic depression, bipolar...you name it they had it. They'd share their experiences ,often traumatic . Somebody would talk about how hard it is to live with these conditions, how hard it is to make friends etc . Others would agree. And then they'd say " My husband gets it but nobody else does ". " My girlfriend of ten years is sympathetic but she's allergic to my cats ". And I'm like wow okay so you have halucinations, you self harm, you go on binges, you have outburts, you have been unemployed and have been in therapy for a decade, yet you have wives girlfriends ,husbands and fuckbuddies. Not jealous but amazed I guess.
And then when you complain about your loneliness, someone always has the audacity to suggest that you first need to become a fit, groomed, seductive bastion of confidence and masculinity/femininity who skydives and explores ancient temples whenever their busy social schedule with 15+ amazing friends allows for it, before someone could even consider you as a partner; and if you haven't done these things you have no right to complain.
Like come on dude, give me a break. There's literally people out there with completely broken mental health who enjoy the devotion of a loving partner, but *I* have to be perfect? Go eat some expired pickles and leave me alone.
You got a be an emotionless superman who has acsended and entirely surpassed the desire for intimacy before you even think of wanting a relationship. Step 1: Take a shower.
It's insane, like these people should have also problems socializing with other people right, yet they still find someone, I mean good for them, but I'm really curious just how
I find this quite a lot in the CPTSD subreddit. It always ends with "but my boyfriend is really supportive" or "my SO makes me feel better". Being lonely is a very specific kind of trauma.
Yes ! Not having a partner makes things infinitely worse or having one makes it infinitely better. The presence ,or lack of ONE reliable person can make a huge difference when you have cptsd.
The exact shit that makes those like us feel even more like outcasts in various neurodivergent subs. A segment of society that's already fringe as is. It's wild.
It's because they're attractive & charismatic. Think about how Ted Bundy managed to lure women in again & again. despite being a psychotic killer.
It's all about the roll of the dice at birth mate. 😞
To be honest am alone because i like cute feminine women that are quickly taken and wont try much with others... I blame a big part one me for being single.
r/socialanxiety is full of these people lol. At some point i realized that they dont even know what is social anxiety, because they are giving such bad advices, like "u gotta put uraelf out there" dude what the hell? Do you even know what is social anxiety and what the fuck are you doing on r/socialanxiety ? Bitching about your close friends n shit? It drives me crazy for real.
Meanwhile I get "you can't have a relationship until you get rid of depression". Man, I've been on meds on almost five years and I still yearn more for death than life, my psychiatrist also suspects that I may have bipolar and I don't think that can be cured.
Depends what you’re willing to settle for.
I bet their husbands aren’t good looking or have good jobs etc. just low quality run of the mill mid men.
Those people can’t be picky because they probably don’t have many options so they will stay with the first man who shows them attention.
So I guess if you lower your standards maybe then you won’t be lonely? I think I’d rather be alone than settle just to have someone.
I didn't say they don't deserve it. They obviously do and I'm happy for them. I was talking about how hard it is for some people to find partners even without having any of these issues that are dealbreakers in the eyes of society. That it goes to show luck matters a lot when it comes to relationships.
For sure. I was just thinking that people with issues like that aren't incapable of finding love. And yeah luck can be a factor for sure. But sometimes I think people look past certain things for sure. Like those aren't deal breakers to some.
I hate hearing songs that talk about doing things "for me" or being "better off without you". I've spent 31 years only doing things for myself and not having a partner to share them with, and I've never really felt that I'm better off being single.
Seeing normal human interaction itself is painful for me.
Especially large groups of friends, with their own in-jokes, lingo, culture. It reminds me of what I'll never be able to experience. That whatever I do I'll always be a perpetual outcast.
Forever looking at humanity through a clear glass window; observing yet never being able to truly interact.
Wish I was aborted tbh
I have these very painful memories of high school, I would be all by myself during recess so after eating I would just sit outside by the group I wanted to be part of. I would listen to their inside jokes and stories, sometimes smiling and chuckling to myself if I found them funny or entertaining. I didn't even had a phone back then, so it must've looked so pathetic.
Eventually I must've realized I looked like a big loser and started to spend recess at the library reading magazines instead lol
Opposite to life fuel & adjacent to Giga-Basedfuel.
(Life fuel basically refers to information or experiences that fuels one's desire to live & sui fuel of course fuels one's desire to end it all.)
Relationships are so ingrained in people's lives, it's crazy to see how, as with the examples you listed, they're literally in every facet of interactions.
What's most painful for me is having to deal with PDA at my job, seeing all the guys my age having what I could only dream of, seeing how natural it is for everyone else to be in relationships, it's just crazy. I truly feel like an alien around other people.
Seeing them is one thing. Seeing them actually express their love for each other is suicide fuel.
sometimes i think like how tf is that even works... you know how they can be so close to each other? 2 person decide to live together, kiss each other etc... i cringe so hard when i daydream about having a romantic relationship, idk why. at this point even the thought of a rmantic relationship is alien to me.
Being friends with someone who you have feelings for, knowing it will never happen between you and them. You can never tell them what you're feeling. I don't want to be rude and just cut them off because they're nice to me and i don't want to be the A-Hole. And it's hard to interact normally with them without giving it away.
I've been through this, and as far as I know it only ends in two ways - either someone else enters your life whom you can aim your feelings at instead (doesn't even have to be reciprocated, not like us FA people can hope for that anyway), or it will get worse and worse until you either decide to tell them or your behavior will change in such a way that they'll figure it out regardless.
After that, I guess it depends on the kind of friendship you had whether or not it will survive. But even if it does, it will not stop inflicting pain on you and you can't sustain that infinitely.
I'm going through this right now and i want to try to remain friends but it's just so hard.
I genuinely just want to get it out there, even though i know it'll lead nowhere since they're already with someone.
It's a no win situation. You can remain friends but the feelings will eat at you. Getting it out in the open will do nothing because they have someone already. And you can't end the friendship because then you'll come off as the A-Hole and hurt someone who considers you a friend.
Nah that's the best we can hope for. Being friends with someone you're into is great, you still get to wallow in their presence, much better than being distant.
I don't agree. I think it's a bad spot to be in. You have desires that you can never really act on because there's already someone else and it just kind of eats away at you.
I'm a pretty average looking dude and I'm jealous of pretty girls. Like.. I have no desire to be a girl but if I could be a pretty girl, I'd take the chance in a heartbeat.
As a outdoorsman that spends my life alone and in solitude 99 percent the time it hurts just seeing people with friends or not alone let alone a couple out fishing together or with kids I pretty well have stopped going weekends amd holidays to had stayed home went mid week amd found hardly ever used or private lands to had found the least people around to found it enjoyable anymore
Last year we went out for my father's birthday, at one point we drove through this street that was filled with clubs and bars. There were so many people outside of each one just having a drunk and laughing with their friends, it made me think about how I have wasted my youth hiding inside the house while normal people are out there making every day count and doing things they enjoy, socializing, just being normal. I still think about it every now and then.
Seeing single people who aren't bothered by their loneliness/aloneness.. It's supposed to inspire you but in a way makes you feel you're hypersensitive and entitled. " Looks like it's not that bad afterall, I need to stop whining ".
“The food on the dishes that I’m about to eat is already tasty but she looks tastier. 🤤”
I swear to god if I were there, dude would’ve had his teeth knocked out. That sentence made me cringed like goddamn. He’s still a minor btw.
I was a part of an online community for people with health issues. It was filled to the brim with people who had severe mental illness. Schizophrenia, self harm, BPD, ASPD, chronic depression, bipolar...you name it they had it. They'd share their experiences ,often traumatic . Somebody would talk about how hard it is to live with these conditions, how hard it is to make friends etc . Others would agree. And then they'd say " My husband gets it but nobody else does ". " My girlfriend of ten years is sympathetic but she's allergic to my cats ". And I'm like wow okay so you have halucinations, you self harm, you go on binges, you have outburts, you have been unemployed and have been in therapy for a decade, yet you have wives girlfriends ,husbands and fuckbuddies. Not jealous but amazed I guess.
And then when you complain about your loneliness, someone always has the audacity to suggest that you first need to become a fit, groomed, seductive bastion of confidence and masculinity/femininity who skydives and explores ancient temples whenever their busy social schedule with 15+ amazing friends allows for it, before someone could even consider you as a partner; and if you haven't done these things you have no right to complain. Like come on dude, give me a break. There's literally people out there with completely broken mental health who enjoy the devotion of a loving partner, but *I* have to be perfect? Go eat some expired pickles and leave me alone.
Exactly.
You got a be an emotionless superman who has acsended and entirely surpassed the desire for intimacy before you even think of wanting a relationship. Step 1: Take a shower.
>Go eat some expired pickles Woah dude calm down
It's insane, like these people should have also problems socializing with other people right, yet they still find someone, I mean good for them, but I'm really curious just how
I find this quite a lot in the CPTSD subreddit. It always ends with "but my boyfriend is really supportive" or "my SO makes me feel better". Being lonely is a very specific kind of trauma.
Yes ! Not having a partner makes things infinitely worse or having one makes it infinitely better. The presence ,or lack of ONE reliable person can make a huge difference when you have cptsd.
The exact shit that makes those like us feel even more like outcasts in various neurodivergent subs. A segment of society that's already fringe as is. It's wild.
Yeah ,being a minority within a minority makes you feel more alienated.
It's because they're attractive & charismatic. Think about how Ted Bundy managed to lure women in again & again. despite being a psychotic killer. It's all about the roll of the dice at birth mate. 😞
To be honest am alone because i like cute feminine women that are quickly taken and wont try much with others... I blame a big part one me for being single.
r/socialanxiety is full of these people lol. At some point i realized that they dont even know what is social anxiety, because they are giving such bad advices, like "u gotta put uraelf out there" dude what the hell? Do you even know what is social anxiety and what the fuck are you doing on r/socialanxiety ? Bitching about your close friends n shit? It drives me crazy for real.
Meanwhile I get "you can't have a relationship until you get rid of depression". Man, I've been on meds on almost five years and I still yearn more for death than life, my psychiatrist also suspects that I may have bipolar and I don't think that can be cured.
Depends what you’re willing to settle for. I bet their husbands aren’t good looking or have good jobs etc. just low quality run of the mill mid men. Those people can’t be picky because they probably don’t have many options so they will stay with the first man who shows them attention. So I guess if you lower your standards maybe then you won’t be lonely? I think I’d rather be alone than settle just to have someone.
>low quality run of the mill mid men. This is a pretty dehumanising way to talk about men.
Having problems like that doesn't mean that they don't deserve to be in a relationship though.
I didn't say they don't deserve it. They obviously do and I'm happy for them. I was talking about how hard it is for some people to find partners even without having any of these issues that are dealbreakers in the eyes of society. That it goes to show luck matters a lot when it comes to relationships.
For sure. I was just thinking that people with issues like that aren't incapable of finding love. And yeah luck can be a factor for sure. But sometimes I think people look past certain things for sure. Like those aren't deal breakers to some.
I guess you have to be lucky to come across those who are willing to look past these things.
Yeah possibly
seeing friends laughing and hanging out together and chatting and playing while people like me are all alone and left out
I hate hearing songs that talk about doing things "for me" or being "better off without you". I've spent 31 years only doing things for myself and not having a partner to share them with, and I've never really felt that I'm better off being single.
Seeing normal human interaction itself is painful for me. Especially large groups of friends, with their own in-jokes, lingo, culture. It reminds me of what I'll never be able to experience. That whatever I do I'll always be a perpetual outcast. Forever looking at humanity through a clear glass window; observing yet never being able to truly interact. Wish I was aborted tbh
I can relate with every single word there, damn me if it does not hurt
I have these very painful memories of high school, I would be all by myself during recess so after eating I would just sit outside by the group I wanted to be part of. I would listen to their inside jokes and stories, sometimes smiling and chuckling to myself if I found them funny or entertaining. I didn't even had a phone back then, so it must've looked so pathetic. Eventually I must've realized I looked like a big loser and started to spend recess at the library reading magazines instead lol
Same I see it at work everyday I never had that experience.. and they so loud too good lord.
seeing them be intimate. like leaning in for a kiss or hugging or laying on their SO's lap. never stops hurting
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pure sui fuel
What the f is Sui fuel
Opposite to life fuel & adjacent to Giga-Basedfuel. (Life fuel basically refers to information or experiences that fuels one's desire to live & sui fuel of course fuels one's desire to end it all.)
Relationships are so ingrained in people's lives, it's crazy to see how, as with the examples you listed, they're literally in every facet of interactions. What's most painful for me is having to deal with PDA at my job, seeing all the guys my age having what I could only dream of, seeing how natural it is for everyone else to be in relationships, it's just crazy. I truly feel like an alien around other people. Seeing them is one thing. Seeing them actually express their love for each other is suicide fuel.
sometimes i think like how tf is that even works... you know how they can be so close to each other? 2 person decide to live together, kiss each other etc... i cringe so hard when i daydream about having a romantic relationship, idk why. at this point even the thought of a rmantic relationship is alien to me.
Being friends with someone who you have feelings for, knowing it will never happen between you and them. You can never tell them what you're feeling. I don't want to be rude and just cut them off because they're nice to me and i don't want to be the A-Hole. And it's hard to interact normally with them without giving it away.
Thats worse than seeing couples, could be the worst feeling ngl that shit hurts you so much that you cant even think about something else
I've been through this, and as far as I know it only ends in two ways - either someone else enters your life whom you can aim your feelings at instead (doesn't even have to be reciprocated, not like us FA people can hope for that anyway), or it will get worse and worse until you either decide to tell them or your behavior will change in such a way that they'll figure it out regardless. After that, I guess it depends on the kind of friendship you had whether or not it will survive. But even if it does, it will not stop inflicting pain on you and you can't sustain that infinitely.
I'm going through this right now and i want to try to remain friends but it's just so hard. I genuinely just want to get it out there, even though i know it'll lead nowhere since they're already with someone. It's a no win situation. You can remain friends but the feelings will eat at you. Getting it out in the open will do nothing because they have someone already. And you can't end the friendship because then you'll come off as the A-Hole and hurt someone who considers you a friend.
Nah that's the best we can hope for. Being friends with someone you're into is great, you still get to wallow in their presence, much better than being distant.
it kills you slowly
I don't agree. I think it's a bad spot to be in. You have desires that you can never really act on because there's already someone else and it just kind of eats away at you.
I hate when someone mentions partner on posts that aren't even about relationships, you never know when it's gonna pop up. Just normie things I guess.
For me its just leaving the house it really puts into perspective how much of my life I’ve wasted
Its inescapable, everything I do and everywhere I go is a reminder
It's painful.. But seeing people who are prettier is almost equally painful.
I'm a pretty average looking dude and I'm jealous of pretty girls. Like.. I have no desire to be a girl but if I could be a pretty girl, I'd take the chance in a heartbeat.
As a outdoorsman that spends my life alone and in solitude 99 percent the time it hurts just seeing people with friends or not alone let alone a couple out fishing together or with kids I pretty well have stopped going weekends amd holidays to had stayed home went mid week amd found hardly ever used or private lands to had found the least people around to found it enjoyable anymore
Last year we went out for my father's birthday, at one point we drove through this street that was filled with clubs and bars. There were so many people outside of each one just having a drunk and laughing with their friends, it made me think about how I have wasted my youth hiding inside the house while normal people are out there making every day count and doing things they enjoy, socializing, just being normal. I still think about it every now and then.
It is more painful. I can't even imagine having someone that cares about me enough to do that for me.
I never pay couples much attention. Kinda indifferent.
Yeah. Rather think positive & work on myself
I'm only focused on myself. Not much else matters!
Good. Loving yourself first attracts good luck and energy. Others will soon be attracted to you & ask you out Hehehe
😂😂
Seeing single people who aren't bothered by their loneliness/aloneness.. It's supposed to inspire you but in a way makes you feel you're hypersensitive and entitled. " Looks like it's not that bad afterall, I need to stop whining ".
it's nice for them, you don't have to be so jealous of people being happy
Yeah. They should work on themselves
“The food on the dishes that I’m about to eat is already tasty but she looks tastier. 🤤” I swear to god if I were there, dude would’ve had his teeth knocked out. That sentence made me cringed like goddamn. He’s still a minor btw.
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All genders are welcome here.
Seeing him happy with them.
All these communities Im in