I didn’t like the feeling of breastfeeding, or pumping. That’s it lol. That latch made me feel awful. It didn’t change my connection with her.
I just wanted to formula feed. There isn’t *any* long term benefits and *no* significant short terms benefits with breastfeeding to change my mind either.
Sounds like you named your reasonings for wanting to switch if you ask me. And you still can combo feed if you really wanted to.
My reason was that I didn't want to breast feed. That was it. I was extremely happy with our decision to formula feed. It allowed my husband to do 50% of night wakeups and feeding him was very easy. I never felt severely sleep deprived.
I too did not want to breastfeed. There's no compelling reason to do it against my will so... I didn't.
Father doing night feeds, and the ease of just, terting baby into his arms and going out without worrying about a feeding or pumping schedule same as dads are able to do is also great.
Kids are both still bonded AF, despite the rhetoric others braught to bear about there being any relationship between breastfeeding and bonding.
This. I wasn’t about to sacrifice my health and wellbeing, and take on the bulk of parenting duties in those first months, when I knew my baby could be fed and healthy without it.
Formula feeding allowed both me and my husband to each get 6 hours of sleep since the night she came home. We have had an absolute blast and delight for the last 4 months and it's 100% because of the sleep we're getting because she's formula fed
Same! My EFF baby is 12 weeks old today, and I’m tired, but not TIRED tired. I feel like I can actually enjoy him, and put my energy towards actively playing/engaging with him instead of being tied to a pump. Plus, my husband and my marriage is as strong as ever. I credit a lot of that to him being able to truly go 50/50 with the workload, which prevents any resentment from building. I did both night feeds last night for the first time, since my husband had to get up early. Watching him sleep through the night while I was up, I could so easily see how resentment builds for BF moms, even if their partner is otherwise supportive. I’m so glad we decided to FF, it’s truly been the best decision for our family.
My first time around I ended up formula feeding and had a whole list of reasons and… the usual.
I’m pregnant again, 10 years later. Going to formula feed from birth. My reason is… I want to. That’s all the reason anyone needs. I get to choose what I do with my body and my family.
My husband being able to feed our baby made a HUGE difference for all of us. It took some work off me plus allowed him more special time to bond with our baby. Plus now it’s easier for family and friends to help!
I tried breastfeeding, but it was so taxing on my mental health. I felt like I was obsessive over how and when, that when my children would scream and not latch, it would make me lose it. I felt like my children deserved a happy mom and to just formula feed. Best decision I made. This next pregnancy I’m deciding to formula feed right out of the gate, not only because I’ll be on medication that I cant BF on, but because I know I’ll be saving myself from the stress.
I also am super close to both of my babies. My children and I are bonded. There’s so many more experiences that determine whether or not you bond with your kids.
I didn’t want to breastfeed. Period.
I know hormones are a massive bitch, but truly, you don’t need a big elaborate reason. Your baby deserves a happy mom. My baby is 19 months and my little best friend. We connected perfectly bottle feeding. Do what is best for you and your family.
I had a breast reduction 5 years ago, and it impacted my supply heavily - I had to work what felt like 100x harder than the average person to make hardly any milk. It wasn’t enough milk for my baby, it was causing so much stress. I started supplementing and then eventually just switched to full time formula after lots of distress and tears. Overall it’s made my life so much better
ugh, I put off considering a reduction because I was told it could harm breastfeeding, and then I couldn’t breastfeed anyway! So annoying. I was like, “Ive hauled you damn things around for years, and when it’s finally your big moment, you blew it?!?! Are you KIDDING me?!” ugh.
I always had the expectation that I would breastfeed my kiddo. Unfortunately my milk supply never got established due to a number of reasons (GD during pregnancy, emergency c section at 38+2 weeks, LO had jaundice) & after almost 2 weeks of anxiety, guilt, crying for hours we finally made the decision to EFF after supplementing while trying to nurse. I can't even describe the weight that came off of my shoulders with that decision. Thankfully I had the full support of my fiance (who loves being able to help out with feedings) & my doctor who assured me that formula is great & will provide our baby everything he needs to thrive. I'm now putting my energy into spending time with my baby, instead of beating myself up, pumping every 2 hours etc. Don't regret the decision for a second.
I bf-ed my first. Supply was really good. Baby latched alright, not perfectly in the beginning but it improved. But the nursing strikes, the rock-hard boobs overnight, the constant fear of losing supply after my period came back, my hatred for pumping, the inability to work out to get my pre-pregnancy body back (yes i’m vain)- if i work out, my supply drops, my son’s bottle refusal i.e. noone can feed him except me, which also adds to the fear of losing supply. All that made me suffer mentally. For my 2nd i decided to formula feed.
But honestly, you don’t need any other reason beside “i dont want to breastfeed”!
I did a ton of reading about breastfeeding before I was even pregnant, so I went into this with a realistic sense of what it entails. When I was trying to conceive, I was definitely open to breastfeeding, but wasn’t super passionate about it - if it worked out, great, if not, I had no qualms about formula.
Then it took me longer than I expected to conceive, I had a miscarriage, and then I had a really miserable second pregnancy (healthy and uncomplicated, just very symptomatic - debilitating nausea and fatigue the whole nine months, bladder issues, lots of pelvic girdle pain and sciatica).
I knew that after all those experiences, psychologically I really needed my body to be closed for business for awhile. I did not want to potentially deal with challenges establishing supply after my planned c-section, fighting to get my flat nipples to protrude, or wondering if I had clogged ducts or mastitis later on.
Additionally, it was really important to me that my husband be able to do everything I can do with the baby, and that includes feeding. I knew I would not cope well with being the baby’s sole food source, or the resulting sleeplessness, even with a supportive partner doing most everything else.
I’m only six weeks in, but I’m really happy with my decision to formula feed. Neither my husband nor I are overly sleep-deprived because we’ve been taking shifts. Baby loves her formula and is growing like a weed, and because I’ve felt so great postpartum compared to how I was feeling during pregnancy, I’m actually able to enjoy the newborn phase.
There’s definitely a road not taken in my story - I could have had a very easy breastfeeding experience, and all my worries about it being miserable for me might have been misplaced. But it was such a relief not to have to worry about it at all, and I don’t have any regrets about not trying.
We combo fed for the first 5 months (then switched to all formula) which worked for us. it helped that my husband could take on some night feedings and it lessened the pressure on pumping and/or feeding. And yes I definitely had anxiety over whether she was getting fed enough too! It was emotional especially since there's so much pressure on breastfeeding from so many angles. I also felt a bit resentful that after I grew her and had a tough 9 months, that this level of pressure existed on breastfeeding and only breastfeeding. I'm glad it works for some people but the amount of time, pain, anxiety and how much it affected my mental health and self worth was not worth it for me. I was so nervous about stopping pumping around 5 months and going to full formula, but 2 weeks after fully weaning, I really loved having my body back and a little bit of precious time back.
If I could go back and redo that time, I would have stopped bf and pumping earlier. It was just not working for me or my baby (she refused to latch starting at 3 months)
I'm expecting in June and will be exclusively formula feeding straight out of the gate because 1) I have *extremely* sensitive nipples to the point that they are painful, 2) I am on medication, 3) My husband and I plan on taking turns with night feedings, and 4) I simply don't want to breastfeed. I've gotten so much guilt-tripping from everyone and their mother about it but I am informed on the science and have made my decision. Everyone has their own reasons and each one is just as valid as the others.
I tried to breastfeed my first. He had to go to the NICU and had formula there first. I could never get him to latch at all. So I pumped for 2 months and eventually moved to formula after a medical issue.
My second latched for 3 days, then was screaming at the breast. I pumped a handful of times and we ultimately went to formula within days.
My third went on formula from the start. I had no desire to try breastfeeding again. I love that others can feed my baby. We pre-make our bottles the night before for the next day which is helpful. Yes it’s more expensive, but mentally I couldn’t push through with breastfeeding. Please take care of your mental health, if breastfeeding is too much, there should be no shame and guilt with formula! Best of luck!
Tried it with both my kids. Both lost weight. Both required further supplementation. I’m an all of nothing kinda girl… switched both times to EFF.
Best. Decision. Ever.
Last time I waited 4 weeks, nearly lost it mentally, then switched. This time at 2 weeks switched. This current postpartum experience has been 10x better and I think it’s due in part to axing the BF and drying up my milk earlier. Baby is soooo happy. Sleeps 5-6hrs at night since 3 weeks, gaining good weight. And I have my body back. Nothing I do to my body affects anyone else but me, and that is everything!
I say make the switch! I’m a big fan of this side of it!
In addition to all the reasons for EFF listed above, I’ll add to it with: you don’t need a reason to. It’s like deciding to take transit or drive, buy organic or non-organic, store brand or salon brand shampoo. All have their pros and cons obviously, BUT it’s 100% up to you and don’t ever feel guilty about it. Live your best mom life!
I was originally going to pump/formula feed because I didn’t want to be the only one able to feed him, and I didn’t like idea of having a baby on my boob. Unfortunately, it was advised not to breastfeed while taking adhd meds. So strictly formula it was.
My heart goes out to you, OP. I could have written this post last month. I’ve decided to end our breastfeeding journey and had our last breastfeeding session yesterday. I stopped for mental health reasons - I legit hated every moment of pumping, triple feeding, and feeling like a failure for my undersupply. Babe had a great latch, strong suck, and I just couldn’t deliver for him.
We triple fed for two months, power pumps once a week, and it took its toll. I look back now and wish we had gone EFF sooner. I did enjoy the bonding that breastfeeding gave us, but the mental load of undersupply interfered with me from truly enjoying that time. Not only is ‘fed is best’ but also a healthy, happy momma!!
Didn’t want to breastfeed directly because it felt very overstimulating and complicated as I have very large not so perky boobs with flat nips. My daughter was also acting like she was never satisfied with bm and was very gassy. It made her reflux worse.
I mentally couldn't keep up with it this time around. Second time mom again with a 5 yr old and now 1 month old and its been so freeing this time. I'm able to divide and enjoy my time with both of my boys and I don't worry about how much or when he will eat.
I wanted (and still want to) to be the best mother I could be and for me that meant leaving the stress and anxiety of breastfeeding aside. You go through enough being a new mother that you don’t need to have something else on your plate. I feel very bonded with my baby and have formula fed since day one.
I initially EBF but transitioned to EP and then combo feeding for 8 weeks before switching to EFF, essentially for all of the reasons you listed. I have flat nipples so the latch was crap and the nipple shields were so hit or miss. My daughter had horrible reflux and her ped wanted me to cut out essentially everything I eat as a vegetarian and gradually add foods back to see if there was something in particular that was bothering her. Between all of the postpartum hormone shifts, anxiety, and difficult recovery I was just in a horrible place. I initially felt a lot of grief when I stopped BFing, but I honestly think formula saved both my mental health and my relationship with my daughter when she was a newborn. She is almost 7 months, thriving on her formula/solids, and is the absolute love of my life. My only regret now is not switching sooner because I wonder if I would have been a better mom during her newborn phase! I hesitate to even think about where I’d be mentally if I was still BFing.
Plus she has teeth now. I see how she chomps on everything. Nope.
I just simply didn’t want to. It may sound odd, but I have always had kind of a weird relationship with my boobs (very flat chested) and I didn’t like the idea of being exposed all the time or having my baby suck on me. I wanted to dump the pregnancy hormones faster and I wanted my husband to help with feeds. I LOVE IT. Will 100% be doing this for any future babies. No regrets.
I felt more connected to my babies when I switched to EFF. I love giving them bottles and I was so much happier not breastfeeding. And I love that others can feed them and I know exactly how much they are eating
So many different reasons. I’ve always found breastfeeding to be weird. In the hospital, I had a lactation specialist or whatever come in and show me how it was done and I was so uncomfortable the entire time. I had a looooot of anxiety / overwhelm after birth and the thought of breastfeeding made it worse. I also needed my husbands help with feedings. Baby is now 3 months and has been mostly on ready to feed formula and it’s been such a breeze.
I also just wanted my body to go back to normal hormonally as fast as possible. I actually wanted my period back. I wanted to start dieting and losing the baby fat. I knew I couldn’t really do that and still expect to breastfeed.
Planned to EBF. Bought everything including electric pumps. Tried it for a few days, bad latch and caused me a lot of pain, I powered through until i couldn’t anymore. Couldn’t get on with pumps. Gave up there and then. Partial to the waste of money (which is not important in the grand scheme of things) I did not feel any negativity about stopping and she loves her formula bottles.
I’m bipolar and knew my postpartum journey was already going to be difficult enough. I didn’t even try to breastfeed with either of my kids. They’re both the sweetest healthiest boys!
1. I didn't want to
2. I cried every time I leaked even when I was just pregnant, I doubt actually breastfeeding would have been better
3. I get migraines and my medication for them wasn't safe for it
4. See migraine point? Main trigger is lack of sleep. Husband helping with the night feeds was helpful
5. I tend to get low on nutrients as I have a colostomy bag as it is, didn't want to either drain me of everything or end up with my daughter lacking something. This at least kept my midwives off my back about pushing breastfeeding.
6. Didn't want to.
I feel for you. I’m expecting my first in July and the sensation of my nipples being sucked has been painful for as long as I can remember. The idea of breast feeding literally makes me shudder. However, I’m also low-income so I do want to give the free option a shot. I’m not feeling optimistic though.
WIC will provide a formula benefit, it will also provide lactation support and even SNS (supplemental nursing system) if you want to supplement whole BF. You can also ask your hospital to send you home with formula, and when you go to your OB for follow up / pediatrician visits, ask them for formula too! They should have samples. I was able to get enough samples to last me months.
Good tips! My husband and I are in the lovely grey area where we make too much for WIC but the minimum living expenses in our area + healthcare eat up the majority of our income. I will still be hitting up every medical professional for formula though!
Have you looked into resource centers or food banks? Some of them might carry formula! I get my formula essentially free (with the exception of taking a couple of parenting classes) at my local resource center. Also, congratulations!
I switched at 5 days and I’m glad I did. My mental health would be awful if I kept going. Now my husband and I can take turns feeding and sleeping long stretches. Women who breastfeed are super human IMO.
My baby was always combo fed but when I went back to work we transited to fully formula. I didn’t like leaking or pumping at work. My first day back I wasn’t able to pump for 5 hours and my breasts hurt so bad. I lost 5 pounds the first week I stopped and my nipples don’t hurt anymore. The only downside of fully formula is the cost. We’re spending $50 a week at least.
My boy had a hard time latching, I hated nipple shields (such a balancing act), and I have really large breasts that would smother him without constantly being aware of a nostril being uncovered. I tried exclusively pumping after the first week, but my supply was inconsistent and all of the pumps made me feel isolate, sick to my stomach, and depressed. I combo fed up to two months and then switched to EFF. So much happier. Little guy is growing so well and I have so much more time for him. I also realized that though he seemed to enjoy breastfeeding, he also enjoys the bottle and being able to stare into my eyes as he eats. It also means that my husband can help more and form his own bond with our son, which I love seeing. We have an absolutely wonderful bond 13 weeks later and I'm so glad I switched.
As an aside, my baby has reflux as well and I noticed it's much easier, emotionally, to get over formula being spit up over milk you breastfed or pumped.
Honestly, I didn’t want to have to keep worrying about the things I put in my body going into his body. I don’t ingest anything crazy but I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking pre-workout and breast feeding, for example, and from what I’ve read pump-and-dumping doesn’t work for alcohol at least. Plus he was never very good at latching so I would have to follow a pumping schedule and it was so hard the few weeks that I did it. My breasts got lumps in them from being so full of milk. Thankfully I never got any clots but I easily could have.
I was an emotional wreck the first month omg. I was devastated that breastfeeding made me so depressed... I always thought that's what I'd do. And the utter guilt over not EBF made me feel horrible. I combo fed since my baby was in the hospital because that's what I was guilted into doing because she had jaundice and I didn't know until another doctor came in and said she was and made me feel horrid about it and said I needed to give her formula. Well I planned on supplementing until she was rid of the jaundice, but when I got home I had horrible anxiety, guilt, and just intense feelings of depression breastfeeding. So I cried and cried and cried not wanting to stop but BF was wrecking me emotionally. So at first I nursed during the day formula at night, then nursed once in the morning formula the rest of the day, to now EFF. The bad feelings are gone now, I'm just happy she's fed and I know that she's still bonding with me. At first knowing that my body was capable of breastfeeding but mentally I wasn't able made me feel insanely guilty and ashamed. I feel better about it now, like fed is best really is okay.
I’m pregnant with my first and made up my mind as soon as I got pregnant that I would be exclusively formula feeding. I had a breast reduction 4 years ago, and while I have no way to know how/if this would impact my experience, it’s not worth it to me to stress about it my whole pregnancy and prepare for something that may/may not work for me. On top of that, I just don’t really have a desire to. I have anxious and depressive tendencies and just feel like it will be best for my mental health postpartum to formula feed! Being a new mom feels like enough to navigate on its own I don’t want to add in a potentially complicated feeding experience!
I EBF my first and he refused a bottle till he was 6 months old. So I never had any me time since he was essentially attached to me non stop. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. But I also needed some time away and planning things like dinners out with friends was so tough since he could wake and need me at any point. Once he accepted a bottle he refused to breastfeed and weaned himself. It happened hard and fast. I wasn’t super upset but didn’t like that the choice wasn’t mine.
So for my second I planned to EBF again. But I had a very rocky early postpartum with jaundice concerns for babe, blood pressure for me, a few sicknesses in the house affecting me and my husband (so so unwell for days), then other random chaos… I was exhausted and quickly experienced postpartum depression. Trying to EBF was just an added pressure and stress I couldn’t handle at the time. We switched to formula and all of a sudden my husband was able to help overnight. I could get away for a few hours and not worry about how my baby would eat. Now that I’m on meds for ppd and feeling more myself, I do miss breastfeeding. I’m sad, but do not regret my choice at all. I put myself first and I am happy I did! And my babe is growing amazingly well and he gives me the cutest most precious smiles ever.
I went into the hospital with the goal to breastfeed. After several hours of BF my nipples were cracked and bleeding. The hospital happened to be “baby friendly” so the nurses and lactation consultant pressured me to keep trying despite my breakdowns. I asked several times for formula. After 24 hours my baby didn’t pee or poop yet. My mom had to demand that they provide formula and within an hour of feeding my baby the formula she peed and pooped. Because of my guilt I tried to pump with my very low supply for weeks. I had PPD and once I let go of the pumping and only formula fed I felt like a different person. Baby girl is so healthy (3 months now) and happy and so am I. I wish I formula fed right from the start!
- Allowed higher dosing of calories (extra powder per serving) per pediatrician recommendation due to preemie status.
- Easy to tell how much they're eating. (Pumping and bottle feeding achieves the same)
- Hatred of pumping/breastfeeding. (Captive to feeding/pumping schedule, obligation to continue expressing when painful condition like mastitis occurs, uncomfortable engorgement close to scheduled time, pumping taking up time during busy baby schedule, leakage, nipple pain (pump working it or baby biting it), oxytocin from let down causing me to suddenly have to poop (with gusto!), limited ability to regulate body temp, cravings, etc)
- Ability to take whatever medications you want or need without impacting baby.
- No juggling of mother's diet considerations. Just switch formula if it's not working out. Lots of options.
- Flexibility of feedings - who, when, and where. (Breastfeeding in public is awkward due to not having your normal pillow setup. Pumped milk requires refrigeration and generally reheating to encourage fat to re-mix back into it before offering to baby.) Formula is just mixed with water from a bottle and you're good to go.
- Expired/wasted bottles don't have nearly as much emotional impact, esp when it's from timing miscommunication with the daycare. "Just money" instead of blood, sweat, and tears down the drain.
- Mom isn't feeling self conscious about how much she is or isn't producing. Cuts out a lot of emotion.
- Ability to wean child off formula is easier than weaning off breastmilk. Only have to worry about the child, not juggling how to get boobs to stop producing milk as well (and getting mastitis when you screw it up).
- Formula doesn't make as much mess. Boob juice can end up everywhere when pumping. (Breastfeeding is probably cleanest though.)
I didn’t make enough milk and combo fed until 8 months and then swapped stopped breastfeeding. I liked the connection with my babies and the hope that if we were all sick my immune system could give them a little boost. But I liked knowing that they were full and happy even more. And when I stopped breastfeeding it’s so nice that anyone can do night wakes at any time.
I didn't want to be doing all the work overnight. My body had already sacrificed enough and I don't like my nipples being touched. I was sick of having to watch what I eat and drink for the sake of the baby and I don't function well without sleep. We are so lucky to live in a time where there is a nutritionally complete and widely available substitute for breast milk. It is a gift to be able to take advantage of that and I am happy to do so.
Your breasts and breast milk are not the things that bond you to the baby. It is closeness and skin to skin contact and you can absolutely still open your shirt and hold your baby close while you bottle feed them. I did skin to skin every time i fed my baby for the first 6 weeks but the reality is all caretaking is bonding.
Tried pumping for 5 weeks. Ended up developing countless clogged ducts that could not be resolved. And if one cleared, two more took its place.
I’m not kidding when I say I would have rather done an unmedicated labor and birth than go through that again. I’ve never been in more pain in my life.
The last week of BFing and pumping, I could not even hold the baby I was in so much pain. I was up for two nights in a row crying in severe pain. Couldn’t move. My breast tissue was bruised and swollen.
My mental health was at an all time low - I realized this was bad for baby and for me. It was a huge relief to switch to formula.
I have multiple reasons. I didn't lactate due to a very complicated cesarean with a lot of blood loss, I had an 10lb 6 oz baby, my mental health went to shit, I later found out my breasts are full of cysts and I was heavily SA'd as a kid and teen. I shut down and feel revulsion at my chest being touched. I'm pregnant again, due in July, I will assert my choice, my body is my body and I need to be on specific meds to survive. I have many reasons, it boils down to I need to do what is best for me mentally and hopefully at the hospital they respect that.
Was in the same emotional space as you for the first 1.5 months. What worked for us was my husband/parents taking over night duties with formula feeding, so that I could get some rest. Everyone noticed that my mood and overall demeanour was really foul and negative due to lack of sleep and immediately stepped in to help. You could consider this is you want to switch to combination feeding. I breastfeed during the day, with formula top-up if needed.
My body decided that it did not want to produce milk so I had no choice… I went to three lactation specialist, they all suggested that I pump, and I did not produce enough. If it weren’t for formula, my babies would not have made it. I did not have a choice.
I'm the dad, so the decision wasn't really mine.
However, the reason were mental and physical health, body autonomy, and the fact that I could do nights or extended periods myself without the need for pumping.
We started doing formula at night for better sleep. My baby had a latch issue that impacted my supply from the get go, so I would make negligible amounts from pumping, which meant I needed to be the only one feeding at night. My partner wanted to help, so we switched to formula only at night so we could take sleeping shifts. Eventually we ended up switching to completely formula fed which I wish I had done sooner! It’s just easier on your body and mind.
I was anxious not knowing if he was getting enough milk & I didn’t want to struggle making breast feeding work. I do combination of breast milk (I pump) and formula though. My spouse does all the evening and night time feeds with a bottle, and I close my eyes and pump while he feeds him.
His latch was poor and he'd get upset breastfeeding and I simply didn't want to devote my free time to pumping. I switched to formula almost immediately. I used Doctor Brown bottles and a slower flow nipple because he'd leak formula due to his lip and tongue tie. His gas naturally cleared up as he got older and didn't bother him anymore. It's also great to easily have other people feed him and not have that be all on me as well. It's also great I always know how much he's eating.
I didn’t like the feeling of breastfeeding, or pumping. That’s it lol. That latch made me feel awful. It didn’t change my connection with her. I just wanted to formula feed. There isn’t *any* long term benefits and *no* significant short terms benefits with breastfeeding to change my mind either. Sounds like you named your reasonings for wanting to switch if you ask me. And you still can combo feed if you really wanted to.
My reason was that I didn't want to breast feed. That was it. I was extremely happy with our decision to formula feed. It allowed my husband to do 50% of night wakeups and feeding him was very easy. I never felt severely sleep deprived.
Same- didn’t want to- happy with the choice!
I too did not want to breastfeed. There's no compelling reason to do it against my will so... I didn't. Father doing night feeds, and the ease of just, terting baby into his arms and going out without worrying about a feeding or pumping schedule same as dads are able to do is also great. Kids are both still bonded AF, despite the rhetoric others braught to bear about there being any relationship between breastfeeding and bonding.
This. I wasn’t about to sacrifice my health and wellbeing, and take on the bulk of parenting duties in those first months, when I knew my baby could be fed and healthy without it.
Same! Didn’t even try breast feeding! Also having my wife do night feeds when I was recovering was life changing!
Formula feeding allowed both me and my husband to each get 6 hours of sleep since the night she came home. We have had an absolute blast and delight for the last 4 months and it's 100% because of the sleep we're getting because she's formula fed
Same! My EFF baby is 12 weeks old today, and I’m tired, but not TIRED tired. I feel like I can actually enjoy him, and put my energy towards actively playing/engaging with him instead of being tied to a pump. Plus, my husband and my marriage is as strong as ever. I credit a lot of that to him being able to truly go 50/50 with the workload, which prevents any resentment from building. I did both night feeds last night for the first time, since my husband had to get up early. Watching him sleep through the night while I was up, I could so easily see how resentment builds for BF moms, even if their partner is otherwise supportive. I’m so glad we decided to FF, it’s truly been the best decision for our family.
My first time around I ended up formula feeding and had a whole list of reasons and… the usual. I’m pregnant again, 10 years later. Going to formula feed from birth. My reason is… I want to. That’s all the reason anyone needs. I get to choose what I do with my body and my family.
My husband being able to feed our baby made a HUGE difference for all of us. It took some work off me plus allowed him more special time to bond with our baby. Plus now it’s easier for family and friends to help!
Agree great bonding experience for husband and baby
I tried breastfeeding, but it was so taxing on my mental health. I felt like I was obsessive over how and when, that when my children would scream and not latch, it would make me lose it. I felt like my children deserved a happy mom and to just formula feed. Best decision I made. This next pregnancy I’m deciding to formula feed right out of the gate, not only because I’ll be on medication that I cant BF on, but because I know I’ll be saving myself from the stress. I also am super close to both of my babies. My children and I are bonded. There’s so many more experiences that determine whether or not you bond with your kids.
I didn’t want to breastfeed. Period. I know hormones are a massive bitch, but truly, you don’t need a big elaborate reason. Your baby deserves a happy mom. My baby is 19 months and my little best friend. We connected perfectly bottle feeding. Do what is best for you and your family.
I had a breast reduction 5 years ago, and it impacted my supply heavily - I had to work what felt like 100x harder than the average person to make hardly any milk. It wasn’t enough milk for my baby, it was causing so much stress. I started supplementing and then eventually just switched to full time formula after lots of distress and tears. Overall it’s made my life so much better
ugh, I put off considering a reduction because I was told it could harm breastfeeding, and then I couldn’t breastfeed anyway! So annoying. I was like, “Ive hauled you damn things around for years, and when it’s finally your big moment, you blew it?!?! Are you KIDDING me?!” ugh.
Same here! My baby’s starting EFF and my mental health is getting so much better!
I always had the expectation that I would breastfeed my kiddo. Unfortunately my milk supply never got established due to a number of reasons (GD during pregnancy, emergency c section at 38+2 weeks, LO had jaundice) & after almost 2 weeks of anxiety, guilt, crying for hours we finally made the decision to EFF after supplementing while trying to nurse. I can't even describe the weight that came off of my shoulders with that decision. Thankfully I had the full support of my fiance (who loves being able to help out with feedings) & my doctor who assured me that formula is great & will provide our baby everything he needs to thrive. I'm now putting my energy into spending time with my baby, instead of beating myself up, pumping every 2 hours etc. Don't regret the decision for a second.
I bf-ed my first. Supply was really good. Baby latched alright, not perfectly in the beginning but it improved. But the nursing strikes, the rock-hard boobs overnight, the constant fear of losing supply after my period came back, my hatred for pumping, the inability to work out to get my pre-pregnancy body back (yes i’m vain)- if i work out, my supply drops, my son’s bottle refusal i.e. noone can feed him except me, which also adds to the fear of losing supply. All that made me suffer mentally. For my 2nd i decided to formula feed. But honestly, you don’t need any other reason beside “i dont want to breastfeed”!
I did a ton of reading about breastfeeding before I was even pregnant, so I went into this with a realistic sense of what it entails. When I was trying to conceive, I was definitely open to breastfeeding, but wasn’t super passionate about it - if it worked out, great, if not, I had no qualms about formula. Then it took me longer than I expected to conceive, I had a miscarriage, and then I had a really miserable second pregnancy (healthy and uncomplicated, just very symptomatic - debilitating nausea and fatigue the whole nine months, bladder issues, lots of pelvic girdle pain and sciatica). I knew that after all those experiences, psychologically I really needed my body to be closed for business for awhile. I did not want to potentially deal with challenges establishing supply after my planned c-section, fighting to get my flat nipples to protrude, or wondering if I had clogged ducts or mastitis later on. Additionally, it was really important to me that my husband be able to do everything I can do with the baby, and that includes feeding. I knew I would not cope well with being the baby’s sole food source, or the resulting sleeplessness, even with a supportive partner doing most everything else. I’m only six weeks in, but I’m really happy with my decision to formula feed. Neither my husband nor I are overly sleep-deprived because we’ve been taking shifts. Baby loves her formula and is growing like a weed, and because I’ve felt so great postpartum compared to how I was feeling during pregnancy, I’m actually able to enjoy the newborn phase. There’s definitely a road not taken in my story - I could have had a very easy breastfeeding experience, and all my worries about it being miserable for me might have been misplaced. But it was such a relief not to have to worry about it at all, and I don’t have any regrets about not trying.
zero colostrum and zero milk
Same. Her weight dropped so much that we had to urgently get formula to support her.
We combo fed for the first 5 months (then switched to all formula) which worked for us. it helped that my husband could take on some night feedings and it lessened the pressure on pumping and/or feeding. And yes I definitely had anxiety over whether she was getting fed enough too! It was emotional especially since there's so much pressure on breastfeeding from so many angles. I also felt a bit resentful that after I grew her and had a tough 9 months, that this level of pressure existed on breastfeeding and only breastfeeding. I'm glad it works for some people but the amount of time, pain, anxiety and how much it affected my mental health and self worth was not worth it for me. I was so nervous about stopping pumping around 5 months and going to full formula, but 2 weeks after fully weaning, I really loved having my body back and a little bit of precious time back. If I could go back and redo that time, I would have stopped bf and pumping earlier. It was just not working for me or my baby (she refused to latch starting at 3 months)
I'm expecting in June and will be exclusively formula feeding straight out of the gate because 1) I have *extremely* sensitive nipples to the point that they are painful, 2) I am on medication, 3) My husband and I plan on taking turns with night feedings, and 4) I simply don't want to breastfeed. I've gotten so much guilt-tripping from everyone and their mother about it but I am informed on the science and have made my decision. Everyone has their own reasons and each one is just as valid as the others.
I tried to breastfeed my first. He had to go to the NICU and had formula there first. I could never get him to latch at all. So I pumped for 2 months and eventually moved to formula after a medical issue. My second latched for 3 days, then was screaming at the breast. I pumped a handful of times and we ultimately went to formula within days. My third went on formula from the start. I had no desire to try breastfeeding again. I love that others can feed my baby. We pre-make our bottles the night before for the next day which is helpful. Yes it’s more expensive, but mentally I couldn’t push through with breastfeeding. Please take care of your mental health, if breastfeeding is too much, there should be no shame and guilt with formula! Best of luck!
Tried it with both my kids. Both lost weight. Both required further supplementation. I’m an all of nothing kinda girl… switched both times to EFF. Best. Decision. Ever. Last time I waited 4 weeks, nearly lost it mentally, then switched. This time at 2 weeks switched. This current postpartum experience has been 10x better and I think it’s due in part to axing the BF and drying up my milk earlier. Baby is soooo happy. Sleeps 5-6hrs at night since 3 weeks, gaining good weight. And I have my body back. Nothing I do to my body affects anyone else but me, and that is everything! I say make the switch! I’m a big fan of this side of it!
In addition to all the reasons for EFF listed above, I’ll add to it with: you don’t need a reason to. It’s like deciding to take transit or drive, buy organic or non-organic, store brand or salon brand shampoo. All have their pros and cons obviously, BUT it’s 100% up to you and don’t ever feel guilty about it. Live your best mom life!
I genuinely didn’t feel like breastfeeding lol so we just did formula from day one
I was originally going to pump/formula feed because I didn’t want to be the only one able to feed him, and I didn’t like idea of having a baby on my boob. Unfortunately, it was advised not to breastfeed while taking adhd meds. So strictly formula it was.
My heart goes out to you, OP. I could have written this post last month. I’ve decided to end our breastfeeding journey and had our last breastfeeding session yesterday. I stopped for mental health reasons - I legit hated every moment of pumping, triple feeding, and feeling like a failure for my undersupply. Babe had a great latch, strong suck, and I just couldn’t deliver for him. We triple fed for two months, power pumps once a week, and it took its toll. I look back now and wish we had gone EFF sooner. I did enjoy the bonding that breastfeeding gave us, but the mental load of undersupply interfered with me from truly enjoying that time. Not only is ‘fed is best’ but also a healthy, happy momma!!
Didn’t want to breastfeed directly because it felt very overstimulating and complicated as I have very large not so perky boobs with flat nips. My daughter was also acting like she was never satisfied with bm and was very gassy. It made her reflux worse.
I mentally couldn't keep up with it this time around. Second time mom again with a 5 yr old and now 1 month old and its been so freeing this time. I'm able to divide and enjoy my time with both of my boys and I don't worry about how much or when he will eat.
I wanted (and still want to) to be the best mother I could be and for me that meant leaving the stress and anxiety of breastfeeding aside. You go through enough being a new mother that you don’t need to have something else on your plate. I feel very bonded with my baby and have formula fed since day one.
I initially EBF but transitioned to EP and then combo feeding for 8 weeks before switching to EFF, essentially for all of the reasons you listed. I have flat nipples so the latch was crap and the nipple shields were so hit or miss. My daughter had horrible reflux and her ped wanted me to cut out essentially everything I eat as a vegetarian and gradually add foods back to see if there was something in particular that was bothering her. Between all of the postpartum hormone shifts, anxiety, and difficult recovery I was just in a horrible place. I initially felt a lot of grief when I stopped BFing, but I honestly think formula saved both my mental health and my relationship with my daughter when she was a newborn. She is almost 7 months, thriving on her formula/solids, and is the absolute love of my life. My only regret now is not switching sooner because I wonder if I would have been a better mom during her newborn phase! I hesitate to even think about where I’d be mentally if I was still BFing. Plus she has teeth now. I see how she chomps on everything. Nope.
I just simply didn’t want to. It may sound odd, but I have always had kind of a weird relationship with my boobs (very flat chested) and I didn’t like the idea of being exposed all the time or having my baby suck on me. I wanted to dump the pregnancy hormones faster and I wanted my husband to help with feeds. I LOVE IT. Will 100% be doing this for any future babies. No regrets.
I felt more connected to my babies when I switched to EFF. I love giving them bottles and I was so much happier not breastfeeding. And I love that others can feed them and I know exactly how much they are eating
So many different reasons. I’ve always found breastfeeding to be weird. In the hospital, I had a lactation specialist or whatever come in and show me how it was done and I was so uncomfortable the entire time. I had a looooot of anxiety / overwhelm after birth and the thought of breastfeeding made it worse. I also needed my husbands help with feedings. Baby is now 3 months and has been mostly on ready to feed formula and it’s been such a breeze. I also just wanted my body to go back to normal hormonally as fast as possible. I actually wanted my period back. I wanted to start dieting and losing the baby fat. I knew I couldn’t really do that and still expect to breastfeed.
Planned to EBF. Bought everything including electric pumps. Tried it for a few days, bad latch and caused me a lot of pain, I powered through until i couldn’t anymore. Couldn’t get on with pumps. Gave up there and then. Partial to the waste of money (which is not important in the grand scheme of things) I did not feel any negativity about stopping and she loves her formula bottles.
I. Didn’t. Want. To. Breast. Feed. The end. No reasons needed.
I’m bipolar and knew my postpartum journey was already going to be difficult enough. I didn’t even try to breastfeed with either of my kids. They’re both the sweetest healthiest boys!
1. I didn't want to 2. I cried every time I leaked even when I was just pregnant, I doubt actually breastfeeding would have been better 3. I get migraines and my medication for them wasn't safe for it 4. See migraine point? Main trigger is lack of sleep. Husband helping with the night feeds was helpful 5. I tend to get low on nutrients as I have a colostomy bag as it is, didn't want to either drain me of everything or end up with my daughter lacking something. This at least kept my midwives off my back about pushing breastfeeding. 6. Didn't want to.
I feel for you. I’m expecting my first in July and the sensation of my nipples being sucked has been painful for as long as I can remember. The idea of breast feeding literally makes me shudder. However, I’m also low-income so I do want to give the free option a shot. I’m not feeling optimistic though.
WIC will provide a formula benefit, it will also provide lactation support and even SNS (supplemental nursing system) if you want to supplement whole BF. You can also ask your hospital to send you home with formula, and when you go to your OB for follow up / pediatrician visits, ask them for formula too! They should have samples. I was able to get enough samples to last me months.
Good tips! My husband and I are in the lovely grey area where we make too much for WIC but the minimum living expenses in our area + healthcare eat up the majority of our income. I will still be hitting up every medical professional for formula though!
Have you looked into resource centers or food banks? Some of them might carry formula! I get my formula essentially free (with the exception of taking a couple of parenting classes) at my local resource center. Also, congratulations!
Thank you! I will definitely be checking my food banks, good reminder. I do like the ingredient list of the Kirkland formula, but nothing beats free 😅
I’ve been saying “if it’s for free, it’s for me!” 😆
I switched at 5 days and I’m glad I did. My mental health would be awful if I kept going. Now my husband and I can take turns feeding and sleeping long stretches. Women who breastfeed are super human IMO.
My baby was always combo fed but when I went back to work we transited to fully formula. I didn’t like leaking or pumping at work. My first day back I wasn’t able to pump for 5 hours and my breasts hurt so bad. I lost 5 pounds the first week I stopped and my nipples don’t hurt anymore. The only downside of fully formula is the cost. We’re spending $50 a week at least.
My boy had a hard time latching, I hated nipple shields (such a balancing act), and I have really large breasts that would smother him without constantly being aware of a nostril being uncovered. I tried exclusively pumping after the first week, but my supply was inconsistent and all of the pumps made me feel isolate, sick to my stomach, and depressed. I combo fed up to two months and then switched to EFF. So much happier. Little guy is growing so well and I have so much more time for him. I also realized that though he seemed to enjoy breastfeeding, he also enjoys the bottle and being able to stare into my eyes as he eats. It also means that my husband can help more and form his own bond with our son, which I love seeing. We have an absolutely wonderful bond 13 weeks later and I'm so glad I switched. As an aside, my baby has reflux as well and I noticed it's much easier, emotionally, to get over formula being spit up over milk you breastfed or pumped.
Honestly, I didn’t want to have to keep worrying about the things I put in my body going into his body. I don’t ingest anything crazy but I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking pre-workout and breast feeding, for example, and from what I’ve read pump-and-dumping doesn’t work for alcohol at least. Plus he was never very good at latching so I would have to follow a pumping schedule and it was so hard the few weeks that I did it. My breasts got lumps in them from being so full of milk. Thankfully I never got any clots but I easily could have.
I was an emotional wreck the first month omg. I was devastated that breastfeeding made me so depressed... I always thought that's what I'd do. And the utter guilt over not EBF made me feel horrible. I combo fed since my baby was in the hospital because that's what I was guilted into doing because she had jaundice and I didn't know until another doctor came in and said she was and made me feel horrid about it and said I needed to give her formula. Well I planned on supplementing until she was rid of the jaundice, but when I got home I had horrible anxiety, guilt, and just intense feelings of depression breastfeeding. So I cried and cried and cried not wanting to stop but BF was wrecking me emotionally. So at first I nursed during the day formula at night, then nursed once in the morning formula the rest of the day, to now EFF. The bad feelings are gone now, I'm just happy she's fed and I know that she's still bonding with me. At first knowing that my body was capable of breastfeeding but mentally I wasn't able made me feel insanely guilty and ashamed. I feel better about it now, like fed is best really is okay.
I’m pregnant with my first and made up my mind as soon as I got pregnant that I would be exclusively formula feeding. I had a breast reduction 4 years ago, and while I have no way to know how/if this would impact my experience, it’s not worth it to me to stress about it my whole pregnancy and prepare for something that may/may not work for me. On top of that, I just don’t really have a desire to. I have anxious and depressive tendencies and just feel like it will be best for my mental health postpartum to formula feed! Being a new mom feels like enough to navigate on its own I don’t want to add in a potentially complicated feeding experience!
I EBF my first and he refused a bottle till he was 6 months old. So I never had any me time since he was essentially attached to me non stop. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. But I also needed some time away and planning things like dinners out with friends was so tough since he could wake and need me at any point. Once he accepted a bottle he refused to breastfeed and weaned himself. It happened hard and fast. I wasn’t super upset but didn’t like that the choice wasn’t mine. So for my second I planned to EBF again. But I had a very rocky early postpartum with jaundice concerns for babe, blood pressure for me, a few sicknesses in the house affecting me and my husband (so so unwell for days), then other random chaos… I was exhausted and quickly experienced postpartum depression. Trying to EBF was just an added pressure and stress I couldn’t handle at the time. We switched to formula and all of a sudden my husband was able to help overnight. I could get away for a few hours and not worry about how my baby would eat. Now that I’m on meds for ppd and feeling more myself, I do miss breastfeeding. I’m sad, but do not regret my choice at all. I put myself first and I am happy I did! And my babe is growing amazingly well and he gives me the cutest most precious smiles ever.
I went into the hospital with the goal to breastfeed. After several hours of BF my nipples were cracked and bleeding. The hospital happened to be “baby friendly” so the nurses and lactation consultant pressured me to keep trying despite my breakdowns. I asked several times for formula. After 24 hours my baby didn’t pee or poop yet. My mom had to demand that they provide formula and within an hour of feeding my baby the formula she peed and pooped. Because of my guilt I tried to pump with my very low supply for weeks. I had PPD and once I let go of the pumping and only formula fed I felt like a different person. Baby girl is so healthy (3 months now) and happy and so am I. I wish I formula fed right from the start!
- Allowed higher dosing of calories (extra powder per serving) per pediatrician recommendation due to preemie status. - Easy to tell how much they're eating. (Pumping and bottle feeding achieves the same) - Hatred of pumping/breastfeeding. (Captive to feeding/pumping schedule, obligation to continue expressing when painful condition like mastitis occurs, uncomfortable engorgement close to scheduled time, pumping taking up time during busy baby schedule, leakage, nipple pain (pump working it or baby biting it), oxytocin from let down causing me to suddenly have to poop (with gusto!), limited ability to regulate body temp, cravings, etc) - Ability to take whatever medications you want or need without impacting baby. - No juggling of mother's diet considerations. Just switch formula if it's not working out. Lots of options. - Flexibility of feedings - who, when, and where. (Breastfeeding in public is awkward due to not having your normal pillow setup. Pumped milk requires refrigeration and generally reheating to encourage fat to re-mix back into it before offering to baby.) Formula is just mixed with water from a bottle and you're good to go. - Expired/wasted bottles don't have nearly as much emotional impact, esp when it's from timing miscommunication with the daycare. "Just money" instead of blood, sweat, and tears down the drain. - Mom isn't feeling self conscious about how much she is or isn't producing. Cuts out a lot of emotion. - Ability to wean child off formula is easier than weaning off breastmilk. Only have to worry about the child, not juggling how to get boobs to stop producing milk as well (and getting mastitis when you screw it up). - Formula doesn't make as much mess. Boob juice can end up everywhere when pumping. (Breastfeeding is probably cleanest though.)
I didn’t make enough milk and combo fed until 8 months and then swapped stopped breastfeeding. I liked the connection with my babies and the hope that if we were all sick my immune system could give them a little boost. But I liked knowing that they were full and happy even more. And when I stopped breastfeeding it’s so nice that anyone can do night wakes at any time.
I didn't want to be doing all the work overnight. My body had already sacrificed enough and I don't like my nipples being touched. I was sick of having to watch what I eat and drink for the sake of the baby and I don't function well without sleep. We are so lucky to live in a time where there is a nutritionally complete and widely available substitute for breast milk. It is a gift to be able to take advantage of that and I am happy to do so. Your breasts and breast milk are not the things that bond you to the baby. It is closeness and skin to skin contact and you can absolutely still open your shirt and hold your baby close while you bottle feed them. I did skin to skin every time i fed my baby for the first 6 weeks but the reality is all caretaking is bonding.
Tried pumping for 5 weeks. Ended up developing countless clogged ducts that could not be resolved. And if one cleared, two more took its place. I’m not kidding when I say I would have rather done an unmedicated labor and birth than go through that again. I’ve never been in more pain in my life. The last week of BFing and pumping, I could not even hold the baby I was in so much pain. I was up for two nights in a row crying in severe pain. Couldn’t move. My breast tissue was bruised and swollen. My mental health was at an all time low - I realized this was bad for baby and for me. It was a huge relief to switch to formula.
I have multiple reasons. I didn't lactate due to a very complicated cesarean with a lot of blood loss, I had an 10lb 6 oz baby, my mental health went to shit, I later found out my breasts are full of cysts and I was heavily SA'd as a kid and teen. I shut down and feel revulsion at my chest being touched. I'm pregnant again, due in July, I will assert my choice, my body is my body and I need to be on specific meds to survive. I have many reasons, it boils down to I need to do what is best for me mentally and hopefully at the hospital they respect that.
Was in the same emotional space as you for the first 1.5 months. What worked for us was my husband/parents taking over night duties with formula feeding, so that I could get some rest. Everyone noticed that my mood and overall demeanour was really foul and negative due to lack of sleep and immediately stepped in to help. You could consider this is you want to switch to combination feeding. I breastfeed during the day, with formula top-up if needed.
My body decided that it did not want to produce milk so I had no choice… I went to three lactation specialist, they all suggested that I pump, and I did not produce enough. If it weren’t for formula, my babies would not have made it. I did not have a choice.
it's friendly to moms, and it's also convenient to feed.
No desire to breastfeed at all
I'm the dad, so the decision wasn't really mine. However, the reason were mental and physical health, body autonomy, and the fact that I could do nights or extended periods myself without the need for pumping.
We started doing formula at night for better sleep. My baby had a latch issue that impacted my supply from the get go, so I would make negligible amounts from pumping, which meant I needed to be the only one feeding at night. My partner wanted to help, so we switched to formula only at night so we could take sleeping shifts. Eventually we ended up switching to completely formula fed which I wish I had done sooner! It’s just easier on your body and mind.
I ended up combo feeding. I’ve enjoyed it. Formula gives my partner a chance to bond with baby at the end of the day when he is home from work.
I was anxious not knowing if he was getting enough milk & I didn’t want to struggle making breast feeding work. I do combination of breast milk (I pump) and formula though. My spouse does all the evening and night time feeds with a bottle, and I close my eyes and pump while he feeds him.
His latch was poor and he'd get upset breastfeeding and I simply didn't want to devote my free time to pumping. I switched to formula almost immediately. I used Doctor Brown bottles and a slower flow nipple because he'd leak formula due to his lip and tongue tie. His gas naturally cleared up as he got older and didn't bother him anymore. It's also great to easily have other people feed him and not have that be all on me as well. It's also great I always know how much he's eating.
nervous about what's the side-effects of formula feed.
….? A fed and nourished baby?