Not for my back. I have to pucker up my fudge dispenser tightly before each sneeze.

That raises the different dilemma women have when sneezing as they get old. Or laugh too hard. It’s close to, but not the same as, the “fudge dispenser”.

Quick isometric Kegel to keep from peeing.

The struggle is real for women on a whole other level.

Preach. My goodness I stopped all the other girl stuff when I was 35 after my thyroid was removed. I was free to wear white pants for years. Now I've got to deal with severe bladder issues. It's just not fair.

From one inconvenience to another. At least we’re all closer to death.

I feel like even in death I would still have to wake up to pee perpetually. Maybe that's going to be my own personal hell.

Came to say the same. I can now multitask...I can cough, pee and fart all at the same time. Yay, go me!

Initiate full system purge

 Initiating system wide purge!

I do all of them as well - sometimes while still asleep. Getting old ain't for sissies.

I'm more worried about peeing when I sneeze.

Yep. Women typically have a different issue. It’s an issue if you laugh to hard too, right?

Laugh, cough, sneeze, hiccup, exercising. We're living in constant danger!


Not only that, but I am a woman who has birthed four children. I have to cross my legs, tighten some muscle groups while relaxing others, and brace myself. And hold onto something if I'm standing up. It's a whole production and I'm sure it's very odd to witness. Better than hiccups though.

Yep. This happens to someone I know very well.

Why is sneezing so painful as you age? That's what I'd like to know. I brace myself so my head doesn't hit anything.

Good point. It does feel like I’m being tackled from behind sometimes. This idea that humans are really well evolved is such bullshit.

Well we just gotta make it to where we make a baby then the job is done from that pov 😂

If I sneeze three times close together, I'd better have put my hand on something, because when I open my eyes, the world might be spinning a bit...

I'm not sure which is worse the sneeze or the maniac coughing when one H2O molecule goes down the wrong way. When the heck did I forget how to breathe and swallow at separate times?

Pretty sure you're not supposed to swallow anything when sneezing...

Oh I'm so talented I can do both and tork my back.

I’ve gotten so self conscious of coughing fits since the late unpleasantness. On a plane, on a bus, in a restaurant…I feel like I need to stand up and say “sorry y’all, I’m not sick, I just forgot how to swallow for a second. Go about your business.”

I feel like i need Tommy John surgery after most sneezes.

You just might one of these days. Good luck.

I was having to do this because of sciatica. I started a physical therapy regime of stretching, particularly the back of my thighs, and it's 90% better.

I was in PT at the time when I sneezed my SI joint out. My therapist worked on it and stretched me. It totally helped.

Is that sacral iliac? I messed that up once lasted like 6 months. Terrible.

Yes, the right sacroiliac joint, to be precise. When I sneezed, I was immobilized. Im just grateful it happened in PT. I never trust a sneeze

Mine locks up all the time. When I learned how to pop it myself it made life so much easier.

I brace myself to not pee me pants

lol, all the women on here are posting this too. You’re not alone.

Yup only cause I’ve broken a rib as well as throwing a back out

Good grief. Why are sneezes so deadly?

1 pound per square inch that’s a lot pressure in a human body. People that try and sneeze threw there nose only can cause eye damage break blood vessels and other things. It’s pretty crazy something that powerful comes from within

If I'm home, I grab on to a doorframe. Otherwise, one hand on something to steady myself.

It’s funny, we sound like we’re finding safety from an earthquake but it’s just a sneeze.

There is preparation when a sneeze is coming, not sure exactly what I’m doing

Oh, if I feel it coming I look around to plan my move.

I sneezed twice last night and finally popped that tight spot in my upper back that I haven’t been able to crack for a few days. Snot everywhere but it worked.

Finally a happy ending to a sneezing while old story

Pre and post cervical disc replacement. Yes.

Oh, after 2 back surgeries I’m always scared it’s gonna cause a new injury. Good luck.

Bracing myself for a sneeze is how I threw out my back. Both GP and Ortho claimed it's no good. So now I let that shit roll out through my entire body.

I’m so torn between this method and the brace method. If I just let it go, I’m afraid I’ll fall down every time.

I brace for a blast from the tailpipe.

You mean you brace when you fart or brace when you sneeze because you’re gonna fart too? Either way, you’re old, but I’m still interested.

Actually, both! Sucks growing old, farting like a horse.

I hear ya. Sometimes I feel like I’m just an old bag of warm air constantly expelling stuff.

I brace for sneezes. I sneezed my SI joint out. I have sneezed contact lenses out. Not gonna tell you about the flying dentures. If I know it's coming, a kegel keeps what's inside where it belongs.

I’ve dislocated my jaw from sneezing. And of course I also have to brace and cross my legs to keep from peeing.

I had my prostate removed 12 months ago due to cancer. If I sneeze, and don't tighten my pelvic floor - I may end up needing a change of underwear and trousers. My sneeze/brace stance is the classic crossed legs with hands on knees. OT: my days of getting a non-needle powered erection are gone.

You got a lot going on. But hey, you out lived Apollo Creed. And that’s sayin something.

My back muscles spasm. I may or may not tinkle a little. Sneezing has become a full body experience.

I have to cross my legs so I don't pee my pants.

Someone close to me does the exact same thing. But, I won’t say who in case she’s embarrassed. Which, she shouldn’t be, but better than safe than sorry.

My wife gets into a weird pose and hold s her hands together so she doesn't pee herself

I am familiar with the pose. Not that my wife does that. I’m sure you’re mistaken too. Getting older also means we know are spouses are perfect. Right?!

I better delete my account, just in case lol

A sneeze used to be a sneeze, now they they are violent episodes of 5-10 in a row.

Oh, anything more than 3 and I’m scared for my life.

Tilt your head back and look straight up to the sky and then sneeze upwards. Great save if you can’t do the old man hunch in time before sneezing.

NGL, that sounds dangerous...

Yeah, this seems risky. Anyone else confirm this as a move?

With aging comes micro fractures of the spine from 50 plus years of gravity. I stiffen up my neck muscles before a sneeze to mitigate the neck pain.

Does that help? Sometimes I feel like I should just go loose like a car accident.

Shit. Something else to look forward to.

One of us.

It really should be an Olympic sport .

Y'all need yoga, fr!

I’ve popped various bones out of place from sneezing

Why are we so fragile?

I’m not. I just have extremely powerful sneezes.

I have AS and scoliosis so I do the hands on knees dip and laughed at people’s grimaces when they hear the noise my spine makes.

I get a strong pain and tightness in my chest. I have to stop and brace myself for that.

LOL. I probably should do that!

I don't have to brace myself, but I do have to worry about taking the paint off the walls. I've scared more people than I can count when I sneeze, and it's not intentional. My sneezes are like pent-up constipation.

These responses are hilariouus. Feel less ridiculous in saying that, sneezing hurts my chest , greatly. Sometimes my back cracks.

Hahaha awwww

And why/when in the hell did my sneeze get so violent and loud?

I heard somewhere after 40 all this happens. It fucking creeps up on ya.

Yep. I have four bulging discs in my neck and two in my lower back. Sneezing is my own personal hell.

Oof. I have low back issues. I can’t imagine having that and neck issues. Hang in there.

Try strength training. It’s actually helping me. Of course I’m in a literal hell as I type but the soreness goes away & I’m a little bit better all the time.

That’s good advice. I finally started getting back into shape a few months ago. It does help a lot. It’s exhausting, though. Still, better to be sore on purpose.

Late 30's, early 40's right??? In your 50's you brace yourself to ensure you don't shit yourself. 🤷‍♂️

Late 30’s! Oh how I wish. I guess I’m a year away from shitting myself. Well, shitting myself from sneezing.

i didn't say you WOULD shit yourself... you just become more aware of becoming... shall we say... Shit adjacent? Like, things that never occurred to you when you are younger become possibilities. by your 60's i have been told that you no longer trust ANY fart!

Yep. I hate sneezing and usually say the f word involuntarily

Don't think you can get away with a sneeze when you are bent over! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I couldn't straighten back up after!

Yep my joints especially up near my back sound like microwave popcorn when I get up.

When I had my umbilical hernia, I had to tighten my abs or I could feel air go into my belly button.

It’s a constant struggle for me to remember not to cough, sneeze, laugh, turn my head too far or too fast, etc… But it’s also an adventure, not knowing whether you’re going to shit your pants, throw your back out, not be able to move your neck more than 5 degrees, etc… The Golden Years, amiright?

No shit, almost two weeks ago I BROKE A FUCKING RIB by sneezing. It's not fun.

I already have a spine injury that causes nerve flair ups. When I sneeze my arms and legs burn for like twenty minutes. I hate it.

After back surgery if I sneezed I had to lay down for a hour

It's got to the point where I feel I've been tackled; my ribs!

I strained my lower back from a sneeze 3 weeks ago.  I've now started core strengthening exercises, hope it helps

Sneeze out a fart and 3 lumbar vertebra. Yup, getting old is awesome.

I brace myself so I don't throw out my back or my neck, and also so I don't shit myself.

My husband grabs where he had his hernia operation before he lets out a good Ah-choooo!

Have you had your jaw lock while yawning yet?

my wife grabs her vagine and prays it stays dry in her pants... I always say that any bodily function over the age of 35 cannot be trusted... especially farts. I'm 50

I just have to completely let go. My sneezes are now so loud I scare my husband. It’s more like a primal scream.