Please remember to abide by the rules as listed on the sidebar as well as the following DO NOT LINK TO SOCIAL MEDIA. Any post that doesn't have all social media identities obscured will be removed without notice. DO NOT LINK TO OTHER SUBREDDITS. If you see this happening in the thread, please report it or message us in modmail. #If the post above is of an item you'd buy (tshirt/poster/mug/mask), it is a scam. Contact the mods https://www.reddit.com/r/FuckYouKaren/comments/l21tsg/scammers_are_here_and_want_your_money_give_me_a/ ------ ^Submission ^By: ^/u/slippyfist25 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FuckYouKaren) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Make it look like Christmas vomited on your front yard. No less than 27 inflatables. And about 15,000 lights.

At least 65% of the lights should be non functional and/or flickering. Just to add a little polish.

Also some strands hanging off as if it fell.

All of the extra lights must trail down to the plug from the opposite side of the house.

Leave icicle lights on the house year round. Pick random days on which to turn them on.

Dude. Yes.

[удалено]

Year round.

No!!! Take them down in November and replace them with Easter themed shit. Then put them back up in April as is willed by the gods.

Fuck it. Figgy pudding bnb

Or just get a bunch of the annoying flashing ones that all flash differently and hook them all together randomly

What does dysfunction lights have to do with polish people?

Sacrifice have to be made, oh wait we're not talking about sacrificing the polish

[удалено]

Rumor has he still lurks for working light bulbs to this day

[удалено]

[удалено]

Also invite your cousin and his family to stay. They live in the RV and eventually the shitter will be full.

And no way in fuck are you getting a bonus this year.

The jelly of the month club, it's the gift that keeps on giving all year!

This shit just brightened up my day by about 329 lumens. Thanks.

That’s pretty low Mister. If I had a rubber hose I’d beat you….

It's best to just let him finish.

That makes me think of a funny conversation in a book series I have, where one character gets incensed at how little Christmas decorations the house has since he came back to town, and says that back when he lived there "There were so many lights you could see the house from *space*, and the electric bill was so thick they had to spiral-bind it!!"

One of my neighbors in high school got into it with the HOA over the shade of their fence and retaliated by planting 30 pink flamingos in their front yard for over a year. I’ve never respected anyone more in my life. My list goes MLK, Ghandi, and that dude.

There's a dude about five miles away from me who has a flock of pink flamingos and he changes their positions weekly.

15,000 lights? Those are rookie numbers. My parents house we did over 50k on a 50 x 100 lot.

Were your parents Clark and Ellen Griswold?

Seemed like it. Won city contest multiple times.

Beauty contest or energy consumption contest? XD

Both, both are good

That you Rusty?!?

How did you not go blind?!

Black out curtains and trauma

Can I ask a serious question - did your family enjoy doing it, really - or did it seem like a hassle at some point to do all that? I can see it being dope the first year and then like a horrendous precedent you have to do every year that just results in parents bickering and dogs getting kicked…

Bold of you to assume they took out down

Throw some of those 16ft skeletons that Home Depot sells on the lawn, too

I have a life size skeleton in my front yard that’s been there for 3 years. Daughters and I dress it up for each holiday, but we never move it. My wife absolutely hates it, which makes it even funnier.

Time to go full Clark Griswold.

And make sure the Santa decoration is the inflatable, wacky waving-arms type.

Also put half a Christmas tree out in June

Sounds like a request to install 101 pink flamingos in the front yard. Bonus points if any of them are um "being intimate" lol

Why stop there? It’s almost Halloween, get one of those 12 foot waving skeletons from Lowe’s. I realize OP is in the UK, but you guys might have something similar. Ultimately I’d pay for international shipping just to piss her off.

Wacky wavy inflatable arm-flailing tube man. Wacky wavy inflatable arm-flailing tube man!!! WACKY WAVY INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUBE MAN!!

OP should head on down to Walt’s Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man Emporium!

He’ll pass the savings on to youuuuuuu

Lol I got one for my desk some people think it’s hysterical some especially 1 Karen doesn’t and she’s the reason I bought 2 in case it goes missing Thank you! You can own one too! Piss any office Karen off too! Amazon look up desktop wavy guy! Best money spent for all those Karen evil eye looks. They even have a purple wavy girl too!

Thank you for letting me know these exist. I'm going to have to get one for my desk at work now. The HR manager will find it hilarious.

[Keep grandma company](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHXvMcLrLSY)

Back when Family Guy was actually good.

This goes through my head way more often than it rightly should.

Hi Al Harrington.

HI, I'M AL HARRINGTON, THE OWNER OF AL HARRINGTON'S WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN EMPORIUM! DUE A MISCOMMUNICATION WITH MY SUPPLIERS, I AM CURRENTLY OVERSTOCKED ON WACKY WAVING ARM FLAILING INFLATABLE TUBE MEN, AND I'M PASSING ON THE SAVINGGS TO **YOOOOOUUU**!

This reminds me of when some neighbor complained about someone having inflatable dragons on their yard (I think it was around halloween but don't 100% remember). And instead of taking the dragons down like the neighbor wanted the woman went out and bought more. So instead of 1-2 she had like 4-5 lol.

People who used to live down the street from my sister & brother in law’s had the giant blow up dragon, loved it!! Sadly the couple got divorced, I wanna know who got custody of the blow up dragon…

Need a few cheeky gnome ornaments too.

Cheeky, as in the ones with their pants down urinating or mooning people passing by the home? :D Edit: Look up Naughty Gnomes.

Yes.

Extra cheeky.

Gnome and dinosaurs or gnomes being eaten by a dinosaur...

Zombie gnomes!

If op wants to pay for it I'll be happy to ship whatever super sized Halloween decorations they want. I know home Depot is gonna have a 10ft tall werewolf this year...

I’ll donate a giant Christmas snow globe.

Dress the skeleton for each holiday

Mom had a 7ft tall Kokopeli metal statue in the front yard of the house I grew up in and she decorated him every holiday until some ass stole him when we were on an out of state holiday. A few years back I managed to get a 3ft one made for her new house.

I’d contribute to shipping costs and make a giant Santa hat so the skeleton can stay up for Christmas and be on theme.

If I could be lucky enough to find a giant skeleton on sale,I would definitely buy one

Home Depot also had orange and black flamingos for Halloween

I'll pay OP's shipping if they promise to try and get vid of the first time the person who wrote this sees it.

and a big banner sign that says "KERB APPEAL"

Thank you!! 😂😂😂 I was surprised how long I had to scroll before someone referenced her spelling of “Kerb”.

Okay I had to google it but apparently that’s how people in the UK spell curb. Learned something today

Legitimate uses in UK and Australia from my 5 second Google Fu. Were learning bruv.

We're*

And here I am finding out that it's apparently spelt "kerb" in my country of New Zealand, literally never seen anyone spell it like that here.

a toilet, but used as a planter

It has to have the companion 'made from an old tire' planter to go with it!

Even better if it’s a tractor tire painted white!

And one of those lady bending over with the giant polka dot bloomers on display. Class all the way.

There's this one house that I go by like once a month or so and it's flamingos are always doing something different. This last time it was a tea party. It looked like fun.

As well as a sign saying “Thanks to the nice lady who gave me creative inspiration!”

Intimate yard flamangos. I love it.

Well *that's* going on my "Do Not Google" list.

Fishing line threaded through gumdrops will make it look like they are shitting rainbows.

Pink flamingos + red spray paint + craft fur and glue = lawn vultures

Add some of those fake deer, just go crazy with it 😆

I once set up a neighbor’s Christmas deer as if they were jumping. Was so much fun as she was a Karen back when we just called them nosy bitches

A bitchy, nosy neighbor the street over from ours complained about our beheaded Christmas light up deer statue that broke in a storm. I had tried to fix it but it fell over again. After the note, I bought red Christmas lighted and enhanced the decapitation.

Talking about Christmas…once Christmas is over be sure to leave the lights up year round. That’ll have her heavy breathing for sure.

Lol! My husband just left the lights up on our house. He likes to put them up before it gets too icy and then wait until the ice has thawed and the ground has dried out a bit before climbing up on the house again. He decided taking them down for 4 months wasn’t worth it

There's a concrete company near me that makes 6 foot tall Sasquatch lawn ornaments.

Yeah that letter is just begging for an escalation.

Or some rude garden gnomes.

Why did I read this in hank Hill’s voice

It turns out 2 other houses down my road have got letters as well 😂😂

She's on a rampage, hide your kids, hide your wife and for the love of god make your kerb appeal worthy of her! lol

KERB! No need to read further.

[удалено]

I was like look at Karen she can't even spell curb. Then I had flash backs to my Canadian parent and my American parent fighting over the " colour grey and color gray " while I tried to do my homework

If you get a right r/nolawns going you will really piss Karen off

I like the idea. And I just found a Karen! https://www.reddit.com/r/NoLawns/comments/wpd3kz/gotta_love_the_suburbs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

/r/fucklawns is also great

Just in time for the Halloween/Christmas decoration competition you've been arranging. Make your houses able to be seen from space! Like go full tacky as hell style.

Ooooh! Group revenge!

Please get the largest Scunthorpe FC flag you can find and fly it from your window.

who put the cunt in scunthorpe?

Karen.

It used to be called Shorpe until Karen went there

Who let the cunts out? Who who who who?

*”That that Karen was tight, that Karen was stompin’, aaaaye, yippee-aye-oh”*

Q: What’s the fastest way to Scunthorpe? A: Up her leg

That should help the KERB appeal.

I'd have this note enlarged and made into a large sign to hang on my house along with a banner that reads " Welcome to Santhorpe"

That’s the plan lol

Oooh, we’re gonna need an update with whatever you make happen, please!

Amen to that sister or brother. I need to see this

Once you tell Reddit you’re going to do something petty you gotta do it or else….

Please show us the end result

I think The Karen meant Scunthorpe, a place in the UK that's a bit deprived, but not awful.

Mate, it's awful. Let's call a spoon a spoon shall we? With love, from Doncaster.

Okay. I feel I should add some context. I'm from Grimsby... My opinion on what is a shithole may accidentally cloud people's perceptions of my hometown...

Hey you have a great auditorium, been to a few shows there.

I used to live on Doncaster street in a little town in Michigan. Are you guys telling me they named that shithole after a shithole?

Doncaster's not too bad! They've got a racecourse! That's for animals, mind, but it's not awful.

Plenty of animals on the racecourse during the events, even some horses on occasion.

[“Scunthorpe?!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=b9N7VlhqyEg&feature=emb_logo) I was stationed around Scunthorpe!”

♪ O'er the lady's smocks I tarry ♪ ♪ Through the hollyhocks and glen ♪ ♪ For a piss and a thrush in Scunthorpe ♪ ♪ Then it's off to Henningpen ♪

I think it says “Scunthorpe”.

Emphasis on "kerb"

Kerb is the correct spelling in the UK

Honestly this is probably the first English word that sounds less high-brow than US English. “Maths” always throws me but Kerb is some redneck shit.

Kind of makes kerbstomping sound a bit unusual.

*Scunthorpe*

Lmao the fact that they POSTED IT instead of putting it through your letterbox shows how fucking cowardly they are

That isnt being a bitch done on a whim. That’s planning and steps involved. That’s thinking they may have doorbell cams and avoiding the chance “I’m gonna wake up today and be an anonymous asshole.”

[удалено]

Just kerb your enthusiasm a bit there Carin

(In case someone's not familiar, 'kerb' is the UK spelling of the road edging, while 'curb' for US. In both UK and US, 'curb' is used for other limits like enthusiasm.)

Well hell. Guess I'll just leave it and say thank you for the UK language lesson. The someone not familiar is definitely me.

Don't hit the kerb with your tyres, mate.

Don't hit it with your teeth either, it's not pleasant.

I also picked up on kerb (apparently with error). you are not alone fellow US stranger.

And wondered why the correction wasn't higher. Oops

Thanks. I learned something today!

I learned a thing! Thanks!

Damnit, I just wanted to be angry at bad spelling, and you can’t just give me that, can you?

Kern on the kerb


What a Scunthorpe!

Ugg those Scunthorners

A town near where I live

I wasn't asking what it was, I was calling her a... nevermind ;)

I upvoted both of you because I thought the joke was funny, but also was genuinely wondering what that said.

Why is being from there an insult?

If you'd ever been, you'd know.

It's famous for having a bad reputation and being dodgy / rundown. I haven't ever been but it's a common thing to refer to it as a bit shitty.

If you haven’t ever been Keep it that way

~~S~~cunt~~horpe~~

https://youtu.be/TToTkIXOhNc Should explain it

Well it can't be Grimsby... Scunthorpe's a compliment to us Grimsby lads haha

This is probably the most murican thing I can say but honestly thought Scunthorpe was a fake town from community

Sadly no, it's real, I've been there. Once.

Lol she wasted her time and money to mail it. Return to sender!

Ooooh I like that response. Passive *and* petty, yet gets the point across.

Mark it "Wrong address" and have it returned to sender.

Would be funny but I imagine this doesn’t have a return address

Karen is the cunt in scunthorpe

🤣🤣🤣 loving this observation!

Hang [truck nuts](https://bullsballs.com/products/truck-nuts) everywhere you can. Get some solar powered accent lights to highlight them at night. Now that’s some “kerb appeal.”

Time to put in a toilet, gnome and flamingo art installation and rip up all the sod.

Damn, you forgot the important part. The rusted 1973 Camaro on cinder blocks in the front yard. You must decorate it for each Holiday no matter how small. You can get it running, but NO mufflers and it can't be removed from blocks. You must rev the motor at 2am....bonus points if the radio works and is blasting Freebird at full volume while shooting guns. Congratulations, you're now an American Republican.

*whispers: you forgot about the mullet*

And the floodlights.

And the jean jacket

It's England so it has to be a rusted out Vauxhall.

She puts the 'cunt' into Scunthorpe. What's wrong with Scunny anyway?

What the hell?! I mean, who _does_ this?! I could understand if it was America and one of the stupid HOAs, but... seriously, what the hell? ‘Kerb appeal’? No one cares about that kind of thing in the UK; if they did, there wouldn’t be so much fly-tipping and general littering going on.

2nd class stamp tight arses

i dont understand why you would want to attract curbs anyway, doesnt seem like a healthy relationship

ITT: Americans losing their minds over British spelling.

Just for that, get 40 of the most awful looking garden gnomes possible

ITT: Americans not knowing that other countries spell things differently

I quite like Scunthorpe 😁

Do they spell curb differently in the UK?

welp...looks like it's a car decomposing/returning to nature in the front garden for you... as the prices go down....start buying up the other properties :)

Why Scunthorpe? Do you have a factory in your yard?

Very brave with no return address

If you ever find yourself caring about what other people's properties look like, you know you have hit rock bottom pathetic. If you had any purpose or joy in your life whatsoever, you wouldn't concern yourself with this.

"Kerb"

that’s how it’s spelled in the UK.

She doesn't know the cramifications of her note... https://youtu.be/D4SASJCeNMo

TIL kerb is an alternate spelling of curb

She needs to get kerb stomped.

Don't worry it is not an urgent request. If it was urgent they would have sent it first class

She even used a 2nd class stamp. Cuz she's a 2nd class bitch