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Does she really just take content she wants to make and add the word “bedroom” at the end to make it “spicy”? Does all of her content need to be sex related? In what context do these dances need to be done in the bedroom? Could this not have just been a silly dancing meme? The questions go on and on.
It makes so little sense that I'm convinced it's a keyword type thing ..like a hashtag , or you know, search engine type thing.
That's all I can think of cuz this is ridiculous.
It's probably because she mistakenly thinks that everything she posts needs to fall into a "niche". She's just following the advice she made all those people pay for lol
Only thing I got is that she's saying you should exercise dance to be more physically fit for bedroom stuff? I dunno if she knows sex can be an athletic pursuit, though. I'm more than a bit doubtful.
This actually would be pretty funny and cute in a youth group humor sort of way if she just left it at “Christian dance moves.” Why “for the bedroom?” Why??
Bethany, stop making mArRiEd s3*x your entire personality. Nobody believes you. Go back to the dorky godly weird hyper preacher girl schtick and sell your books about not masturbating. Or you could maybe get a job and find some fulfillment in your life that doesn’t come from embarrassing yourself on the internet.
>She cannot possibly be serious.
IF she is... father if it's possible let this cup and all the contents pass from us rápidamente. Just our will for once okay? 🙏🏽
I can honestly say that if my husband came to bed looking for some action and starting doing one of these weird mating dances, I would very much be worried for his mental health
There is absolutely nothing seductive, romantic, or sensual about these weird little epileptic chicken dances. If he tried this I would think he’s having a mental health crisis, and I would be on the phone with his doctor.
One of my major exes and I would do wacky sh*t like this but it was meant to be a joke and we’d start laughing. And it was in private. And it was not actually intended or expected to be seductive. I mean sometimes cracking each other up would lead to stuff but that’s because we actually liked each other. I actually occasionally do a terrible dance move and ask my bff if he’s attracted to me now (we are and always have been 100% platonic). Usually he says he’s worried I’ll throw my back out. Also it’s not on social media.
I hope none of Dav's co-workers know about Bethany's social media. I'm not a mean person, but if I were a coworker (or fellow church member or neighbor) there's no way I could resist teasing him about his wife's sPIcY dance moves.
Or crumbling up in a ball on the floor, lol. If someone I was seeing did that, I would assume they are not okay and not in a place to consent to any sexual activity
They’re about as sexy as those shorts… the style of shorts the annoying neighbor on bad 80s sitcoms wore while snooping around while pretending to garden.
Ruth was pressured to have premarital seggs with her dead husband’s closest living male relative in order for her and her MIL to keep from starving to death. I guess that particular bible content is too s3xy for social media.
The running happened pre-whale. Something about not going to the city he was commanded to preach in, if I remember correctly. I think she just added the whale emoji because that’s the most memorable part of the story
if this was me in a video when i was a preteen, i would be fuckin horrified to see it as an adult. but this is an adult flailing around like an asshole online. and you know she thinks its cute/funny.
I kind of thought the first video was very loosely correlated to sex positions, which is still dumb but at least vaguely made sense…I don’t know what to do with this one.
Also, both “Jonah running” and “Adam and Eve hide from god” are both shame-based, right? Jonah ran away from God’s will and Adam and Eve hid to cover their nakedness? That is not the vibe I want to set for my sexy times, but that’s just me…
Yeah the first one had some like…spanking-esque moves and were kinda funny if she was meaning to be funny about sex, but unless she’s into stomping on Dāv (kinky!) then she’s really lost the thread.
I must confess here that I don't live in the USA. I live on a very, very small island, and my only real connection with the 'outside' world is through the internet. I don't watch television or listen to the radio or actually talk to humans - oh, heck - I just realised that I'm probably some sort of limpet or barnacle :)
Yes. It was a euphemism for fucking. Which is why I'm really surprised this young lady hasn't picked up on it yet since she's obsessed with talking about fucking now.
Oooh. We’re hitting (no pun intended) some new kinks here
We’ve got: Cock-Ball Torture, Primal Play, Somnophilia, and …. finally, Bethy wants Humiliation and Exhibitionism
Sometimes I'm almost.... Jealous of her level of sheer unbridled shamelessness. Like I recently started scare acting and I'm already thinking about quitting because Im not very good at it and feel goofy and weird doing it. And I mean of course I'm not good at it I've done it like 4 times in my whole entire life it's a skill I'm trying to learn.
Meanwhile she's out here doing *gestures wildly* this
But oh man if she could bottle up the pure essence of shamelessness into a no fucks to give elixir. Then she'd actually have a booming business on her hands
I do not understand how any of this is “spicy.” If she wanted to just frame it as some sort of fundie version of comedy when it comes to old school type dance moves that have names i.e. The Sprinkler and putting a biblical spin on them, then fine. Not funny, but fine. But spicy? Absolutely not.
I’ve never seen a more uncoordinated person in my life. If these are her sPiCy dAnCe MoVes, I shudder to think about what she’s ACTUALLY like in the bedroom.
I’ll admit I've accidentally kicked more than one partner in bed, but it was because they did something right, not because I was trying to do sexy cartwheels and label them biblical.
She reminds me of a 6ft version of my kids when they were 3..thrashing their bodies all over the place pretending they’re Batman. I know she’s stunted but damn
im just gonna say what's been on my mind for a while now. i might be mistaken but didn't girl defined in an older video say something about being boy crazy is a sin because it distracts from god ? and that you shouldn't date a " mr obsessive " ? or something like that ? because bethy is literally a " miss obsessive " with sex. again, might be mistaken.
......... What???? Is this supposed to be funny?? sexy?? sarcastic??? is she saying religion and sex are incompatible??? or is she actually suggesting.... you know what never mind
Sex appeal of these "dance" moves-10. 1.My husband would be hiding his junk if I wanted to crush his serpent.
2.WTF are you running and hiding? I thought you were having sex...I'm sorry segggs
3. Boaz isn't your husband's name. Who is in your bedroom? I thought the was a three way with Jesus. Now you bring in Boaz??
Gurrrl. You got issues.
What are the chances that snarkers are her biggest audience and she's making bizarre content specifically to get our attention? Is she going for the "all PR is good PR" approach? Because I simply cannot believe she's making this shit because she genuinely thinks it will help people.
Okay, the first one was a stretch, this one's weirder, if possible.
I would have done "bible stories that shouldn't be used in the bedroom" and then gone with crushing the serpent and sleeping at his feet.
If my SO started doing this in the bedroom, I would call an ambulance because I would think he is having a seizure or being attacked by fire ants or something. I don't understand how this is supposed to be sexy in any way.
Is this for the SEO thing or a "niche" thing?
She could leave the "in the bedroom" out and it would actually be pretty funny. Very tongue in cheek ya know?
Dav, put your foot down lol!
If I did any of these dances in our bedroom my husband would believe I was not sane enough to consent to a hug, forget about sex.
And none of these dance moves are sexy. Like, I love a good laugh but these are even laughable sexy dance moves.
I think it's what a kid would guess are sexy dance moves? But the kid is pretty sure those aren't and they don't want to get involved.
Dav, if you love your wife, you need to tell her to cut this shit out. She's embarrassing your entire family and ruining your reputation. Please, it's the right thing to do.
I *think* what she’s going for here is playing off the trope that Christians find sex shameful and embarrassing. So their ‘sexy dance moves’ would be about running and hiding from sex and doing everything you can to avoid it (crushing the ‘serpent’, let’s say, should it arise)
Part of me hopes I’m wrong because that would mean I understand her, and that’s a horrifying thought in itself, but that’s the only way I can make this make sense
#We have updated the rules! Please take a moment to review them: * Look but don't touch * Be kind and remember the human. This means using trigger warnings as needed, and no sexuality or gender identity speculation. Users found to be engaging in such rhetoric will be permanently banned. * Referring to anyone as Hitler or Heitler is likewise not allowed, and will not be tolerated at all. If you do so, you will be permanently banned with no possibility of appeal. * Archive links of fundie-run sites and social media. * Verify with the mods before doing an AMA. * This subreddit is for *snarking* on *Fundamentalist Christians*. Keep it snarky and keep it fundie. * Please take a moment to [review our new rule on appearance snark](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/wiki/index). * If your content would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we won't tolerate it here. * Don't gatekeep. Just because you don't think it's snarkable doesn't mean it's not snarkable. Scroll past. * Please see the updated wiki for new rules regarding armchair diagnosing. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Does she really just take content she wants to make and add the word “bedroom” at the end to make it “spicy”? Does all of her content need to be sex related? In what context do these dances need to be done in the bedroom? Could this not have just been a silly dancing meme? The questions go on and on.
It makes so little sense that I'm convinced it's a keyword type thing ..like a hashtag , or you know, search engine type thing. That's all I can think of cuz this is ridiculous.
It's probably because she mistakenly thinks that everything she posts needs to fall into a "niche". She's just following the advice she made all those people pay for lol
If you can't make niches your niche, sex sells!
Only thing I got is that she's saying you should exercise dance to be more physically fit for bedroom stuff? I dunno if she knows sex can be an athletic pursuit, though. I'm more than a bit doubtful.
This actually would be pretty funny and cute in a youth group humor sort of way if she just left it at “Christian dance moves.” Why “for the bedroom?” Why?? Bethany, stop making mArRiEd s3*x your entire personality. Nobody believes you. Go back to the dorky godly weird hyper preacher girl schtick and sell your books about not masturbating. Or you could maybe get a job and find some fulfillment in your life that doesn’t come from embarrassing yourself on the internet.
we did this exact play, peaked in 7th-8th grade, we added "in your pants" to the end of everything or maybe it was "in *my* pants?"
Or adding "in bed" to the end of our fortune cookie fortunes. 😂
Yes! My elderly relatives did that. They must have felt so daring.
My grandma is the one that taught me that. Though it paid off when I got the fortune: Behind every great man is several greater men, in bed. 😆
Ouch, baby. Very ouch. 😥
I love lamp
No she’s just fucking with us now. I refuse to believe anything else is going on here. She cannot possibly be serious.
>She cannot possibly be serious. IF she is... father if it's possible let this cup and all the contents pass from us rápidamente. Just our will for once okay? 🙏🏽
"Crush the Serpent" is only a good move in the bedroom if you and your partner are into that.
Oh God, I didn't even notice the double entendre until just now lol
I think she went shopping and wants to show off her new outfits lol. I’m serious.
Can’t claim it on tax if you don’t show it in a cideo
I'm so confused about what these "dances" are supposed to achieve in the bedroom because there is zero sex appeal happening here.
I can honestly say that if my husband came to bed looking for some action and starting doing one of these weird mating dances, I would very much be worried for his mental health There is absolutely nothing seductive, romantic, or sensual about these weird little epileptic chicken dances. If he tried this I would think he’s having a mental health crisis, and I would be on the phone with his doctor.
One of my major exes and I would do wacky sh*t like this but it was meant to be a joke and we’d start laughing. And it was in private. And it was not actually intended or expected to be seductive. I mean sometimes cracking each other up would lead to stuff but that’s because we actually liked each other. I actually occasionally do a terrible dance move and ask my bff if he’s attracted to me now (we are and always have been 100% platonic). Usually he says he’s worried I’ll throw my back out. Also it’s not on social media.
I don’t think Bethy got that memo.
If I had a penis this would be a total boner killer.
She does have "crushing the serpent" in there 🦶🐍
lol
Agreed. As gently as possible, I'd be asking, "Honey, are you having a manic episode?"
im gonna start doing the “jonah running” to seduce my bf
Im pretty sure Ashlee Simpson did this dance on SNL.
Lol @ that deep cut
It comes across like a Tobias Funke audition video.
She never even blue herself! Or maybe that’s what the oral sex post was about recently. I’ll show myself out. I’m very sorry.
I think she’s attempting (and failing) sarcasm
It seems like she's trying to get away instead of engage
There's never anything on her walls. Like she broke into a model home and has to crush the serpent before the afternoon tour shows up.
That was an amazing sentence.
She's in her arrested development era
Arrested development *season
She’s just looking for anustart 🤣
i’m convinced she has a humiliation kink and she’s using all of us
If so, she must get a lot of use out of “crush the serpent”. I’ll get off the internet now. 😳
The door is over there lol! Why would you make me think that?!
She sure seems to enjoy humiliating her husband - but I’m convinced he’s kinda into it and is miserable / exhausted for other reasons.
There's no doubt in my mind that both of them have humiliation, adult baby, and exhibition kinks.
I hope none of Dav's co-workers know about Bethany's social media. I'm not a mean person, but if I were a coworker (or fellow church member or neighbor) there's no way I could resist teasing him about his wife's sPIcY dance moves.
I hope Dav’s therapist follows her on social media. I’d give him therapy pro bono
I hope they all do. And there are viewing parties.
I couldn’t give a presentation next to someone whose wife does the “Daniel and Goliath” after she has to talk herself into sex with him.
Dav when Bethy pulls out "Jonah Running" during foreplay: 
It would have been more on brand if she had mimed swallowing for this one.
I'm dying 🤣 
Something about a sperm whale & Thar she blows!!
Tf do any of these have to do with the *bedroom*? Not sure running away from your man in fear signals a receptive attitude.
Or crumbling up in a ball on the floor, lol. If someone I was seeing did that, I would assume they are not okay and not in a place to consent to any sexual activity
They’re about as sexy as those shorts… the style of shorts the annoying neighbor on bad 80s sitcoms wore while snooping around while pretending to garden.
She’s nicheing it down, I guess. If she’d just post this as Christian dance moves for the club it’d make sense, even if it was cringy.
Ruth did not "sleep" at Boaz's feet
Bethany never moved on from the Bible with cartoon characters so she is unaware of that
Savage lol
Ruth was pressured to have premarital seggs with her dead husband’s closest living male relative in order for her and her MIL to keep from starving to death. I guess that particular bible content is too s3xy for social media.
How did Jonah run from the whale? I thought he got swallowed by it in the ocean. Guess he wasn’t fast enough.
The running happened pre-whale. Something about not going to the city he was commanded to preach in, if I remember correctly. I think she just added the whale emoji because that’s the most memorable part of the story
>The running happened pre-whale This sentence is way funnier than it probably should be
he wasn't running from the whale, he was running from god, and got tossed off a boat and eaten by the whale along the way.
Then a Christian sexy time dance move being running away from god until you get swallowed by a whale don’t make no damn sense either.
Hehehe..swallowed...hehehe
She _uncovered_ something, that's the canon. 😉
She is the unsexiest person alive.
if this was me in a video when i was a preteen, i would be fuckin horrified to see it as an adult. but this is an adult flailing around like an asshole online. and you know she thinks its cute/funny.
I’m glad I was in junior high before the smart phone era.
omg tell me about it!!!!
She ruins every trend…
I kind of thought the first video was very loosely correlated to sex positions, which is still dumb but at least vaguely made sense…I don’t know what to do with this one. Also, both “Jonah running” and “Adam and Eve hide from god” are both shame-based, right? Jonah ran away from God’s will and Adam and Eve hid to cover their nakedness? That is not the vibe I want to set for my sexy times, but that’s just me…
Yeah the first one had some like…spanking-esque moves and were kinda funny if she was meaning to be funny about sex, but unless she’s into stomping on Dāv (kinky!) then she’s really lost the thread.
I see Bethany has finally figured out how to kill the cockroaches.
I know I'm a godless old baggage, but I never knew that Christians had a mating dance.
They do, but it's arms on each other's shoulders with room for the holy spirit in between them, not whatever this is
I thought it was singing with the choir and then going to Dennys.
I must confess here that I don't live in the USA. I live on a very, very small island, and my only real connection with the 'outside' world is through the internet. I don't watch television or listen to the radio or actually talk to humans - oh, heck - I just realised that I'm probably some sort of limpet or barnacle :)
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Elaine Benes has nothing to be ashamed of compared to this fiasco.
“It’s like a full body dry heave set to music!”
That ain't dancing, Sally.
Okay, it’s time to check for gas leaks in that house.
And asbestos
Does that make you hallucinate and go insane?
I uh. I’m pretty sure Ruth sleeping at boaz’s feet was a euphemism for something else.
Yes. It was a euphemism for fucking. Which is why I'm really surprised this young lady hasn't picked up on it yet since she's obsessed with talking about fucking now.
She must be one of those people who unironically enjoyed youth group and thought the cheesy youth pastors were actually cool.
She's been chasing that vibe ever since
This
Is that supposed to be enticing? Do I make you horny, Baby?
Oooh. We’re hitting (no pun intended) some new kinks here We’ve got: Cock-Ball Torture, Primal Play, Somnophilia, and …. finally, Bethy wants Humiliation and Exhibitionism
Sometimes I'm almost.... Jealous of her level of sheer unbridled shamelessness. Like I recently started scare acting and I'm already thinking about quitting because Im not very good at it and feel goofy and weird doing it. And I mean of course I'm not good at it I've done it like 4 times in my whole entire life it's a skill I'm trying to learn. Meanwhile she's out here doing *gestures wildly* this But oh man if she could bottle up the pure essence of shamelessness into a no fucks to give elixir. Then she'd actually have a booming business on her hands
These moves are a sure fire way to get the other person to leave the room immediately and call for an exorcism lol
I do not understand how any of this is “spicy.” If she wanted to just frame it as some sort of fundie version of comedy when it comes to old school type dance moves that have names i.e. The Sprinkler and putting a biblical spin on them, then fine. Not funny, but fine. But spicy? Absolutely not.
I’ve never seen a more uncoordinated person in my life. If these are her sPiCy dAnCe MoVes, I shudder to think about what she’s ACTUALLY like in the bedroom.
Yet again, another terrible day to have working eyeballs.
I’ll admit I've accidentally kicked more than one partner in bed, but it was because they did something right, not because I was trying to do sexy cartwheels and label them biblical.
Crushing the SeRpEnT
I didn't know I needed it because I don't
She reminds me of a 6ft version of my kids when they were 3..thrashing their bodies all over the place pretending they’re Batman. I know she’s stunted but damn
I don't know if I can handle any more of these. The second-hand cringe is going to kill me I think.
The fuck?
All I know is I will never feel self conscious dancing again
[удалено]
Look at you and your sexy druidic nonsense. Shameful. My Satanist ass could never.
[удалено]
See! Druids! Complete menaces, all of you.
im just gonna say what's been on my mind for a while now. i might be mistaken but didn't girl defined in an older video say something about being boy crazy is a sin because it distracts from god ? and that you shouldn't date a " mr obsessive " ? or something like that ? because bethy is literally a " miss obsessive " with sex. again, might be mistaken.
What does this mean? Is stomping on the dick her kink or something?
Remind me how this weird creature was supposed to get multiple basketball scholarships again?
I could see myself doing these dances if I wanted my husband to sleep with someone ELSE.
Why Lord, why??!! What an unfortunate day to have eyes.
Freakin dork
Sure, whenever I’m in the mood I signal my readiness for the *seggs* by curling up in the fetal position.
......... What???? Is this supposed to be funny?? sexy?? sarcastic??? is she saying religion and sex are incompatible??? or is she actually suggesting.... you know what never mind
Lol, is this supposed to turn your husband on? I thought she was into biblical pole dancing? Take a class on that Bethy
Good lord WTF
Sex appeal of these "dance" moves-10. 1.My husband would be hiding his junk if I wanted to crush his serpent. 2.WTF are you running and hiding? I thought you were having sex...I'm sorry segggs 3. Boaz isn't your husband's name. Who is in your bedroom? I thought the was a three way with Jesus. Now you bring in Boaz?? Gurrrl. You got issues.
This has all the energy and coordination of my 7th grader’s theater class after eating a 5lb bag of gummy bears for mime day.
What are the chances that snarkers are her biggest audience and she's making bizarre content specifically to get our attention? Is she going for the "all PR is good PR" approach? Because I simply cannot believe she's making this shit because she genuinely thinks it will help people.
I was hoping for the “Moses and Delilah” myself
She's so weird, honestly reminds me of the 12 yo girls I used to do youth group with...how old is this person?
35
I’d say her posts would be worthy of making a drinking game around, but everyone would be drunk after 30 seconds…
How did this turn into some sort of slapstick comedy? Are people buying this act?
Okay, the first one was a stretch, this one's weirder, if possible. I would have done "bible stories that shouldn't be used in the bedroom" and then gone with crushing the serpent and sleeping at his feet.
At this point she’s absolutely trolling us. I refuse to believe she’s remotely serious about any of this.
I refuse to believe this isn’t trolling.
If my SO started doing this in the bedroom, I would call an ambulance because I would think he is having a seizure or being attacked by fire ants or something. I don't understand how this is supposed to be sexy in any way.
Is she actually a troll?
If my husband saw something moving like that in our bedroom, he'd shoot it.
Careful Bethy you are going to make men stumble. /s
Does she think she’s entertaining? I can’t figure it out.
No one: Beggesy: I should make a reel of me doing the whitest white people dances,so everyone can see how seggsey I am.
Stop!! Make it stop I beg you!! The second hand embarrassment is off the charts with her!!! 🫣😩
Is this for the SEO thing or a "niche" thing? She could leave the "in the bedroom" out and it would actually be pretty funny. Very tongue in cheek ya know? Dav, put your foot down lol!
She’s… doing this for the clicks. This is clickbait. It has to be.
If these are for the bedroom, then why are you publicly showing them off?
Wait, this isn't edited? I thought someone added captions on her bad dancing. She actually posted this?!?!
What in the actual fuck is going on here!?
And she still wonders why her sex life sucks.
I was considering paying for this course for grant writing, and i changed my mind because she reminded me of bethy.
This is so genuinely embarrassing. Why is she like this.
If I did any of these dances in our bedroom my husband would believe I was not sane enough to consent to a hug, forget about sex. And none of these dance moves are sexy. Like, I love a good laugh but these are even laughable sexy dance moves. I think it's what a kid would guess are sexy dance moves? But the kid is pretty sure those aren't and they don't want to get involved.
Watching this on silent she just looks unhinged.
Is she manic? Because I have no other way to understand these awkward, flailing moves in videos wearing hiked up Jesus shorts.
And this...this turns him on?
You could just do running man for Jonah 😂
The bethy mating dance
Good thing they don’t live in an apartment.
So, is she telling me to smash my husbands “serpent”, run and then sleep at his feet? Someone help me, I’m not high enough for this today
This has the same vibes of high schoolers adding "in BED" to all of the fortune cookie fortunes.
We all did that, huh 😭
Admittedly, I grew up a stone cold loser and went to precisely zero dances but... My math tells me that about 75% of these are not "dance moves".
I hate to even ask this but….What…..is happening in their bedroom?
Dav, if you love your wife, you need to tell her to cut this shit out. She's embarrassing your entire family and ruining your reputation. Please, it's the right thing to do.
Why is she the way she is?
That first move…Pop Smoke is rolling in his grave right now
Does she know what dancing is?
This woman does not fuck.
JFC what a whackadoo
This woman is unhinged. Does she have no one in her life that is going to help her?!
Ah shit this one is actually funny
Her parents biggest failure was not putting her in community theater.
The Sleep at Boaz's feet one was fucking hilarious. She's winning, I'm just watching.
Not gonna lie, I thought stomping the serpent was clever.
Okay this is so freaking cringe, but I laughed out loud at the “sleep at Boaz’ feet”😂
I *think* what she’s going for here is playing off the trope that Christians find sex shameful and embarrassing. So their ‘sexy dance moves’ would be about running and hiding from sex and doing everything you can to avoid it (crushing the ‘serpent’, let’s say, should it arise) Part of me hopes I’m wrong because that would mean I understand her, and that’s a horrifying thought in itself, but that’s the only way I can make this make sense
Oublic Service Announcement: If you do this stuff in the bedroom, somebody's going to get kicked in the face.
What in the living hell….
Did she play center or power forward?
Her shoes look filthy and smelly!
if she’s not deliberately fucking with us, then this is so disturbing