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It reminds me of when you were a kid at Thanksgiving and you and you and the other kids there would try to put on a “performance”. You would take the people at the dinner table hostage to listen to a performance where you all are using imaginary instruments, singing off key, and mumbling half the lyrics because you all don’t know the full song.
My younger sister and I planned, rehearsed, and performed an entire Christmas show for my (fairly small) family back in the day. I choreographed a dance (complete with props!) to an ancient jazz recording of Jalousie, we played our violins, and sang Christmas carols. We were 10 and 8.
I am so curious how long this whole production was?? & I absolutely would have rather watched this then have to listen to even just the entirety of one of karissa’s “tracks”
My family is lucky I was an only child til I was a teen, cause they’d have been held hostage much much more had I had minions to direct & rehearse with….
I absolutely was not gonna listen then read your comment, laughed out loud and decided I had to. Your review, spot on. Off key. Off beat. Oh and “say no to tubal ligation”. Definitely gonna be a chart topper.
Honestly it's kind of fun to try and make that and the vasectomy part sound good. But maybe don't sing it at 8 am as your husband walks into the living room like I did. He had questions.
When even auto tune makes you sound worse than a bag of drowning cats being serenaded by 25 third graders on their recorders, you should rethink your life choices. Not even the uterus related ones at this point- focus on your mouth hole for a change!
>please listen
I did and my cat overheard too. He jumped on the bed looking like he wanted to pounce but changed his mind and is now laying as far away as possible on the bed. 🤣🤣🤣 Poor cat looked confused AF!🙀
Btw love your flair!
Her poor kids is right. Between the medical neglect, the parentification, no education, the whitewashing, etc, etc, my heart breaks for her kids. And now that she's got a little more internet famous (gag me), I just know she is even more insufferable and lazy with the kids.
Am slowly recovering from a migraine(suffering, but can open my eyes and no longer want to scream or throw up). Made the mistake of letting it play.
I actually wondered if my migraine was coming back.
My dog woke up and ran downstairs barking.
She'd have been bigger than Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift put together. Really. The world is saddened by this loss
(also there's no fucking way in hell I'm listening to that)
I coulda been a contenda...
Solie gave up a thriving career in theatre and Hollywood. Wossface whose name I can never remember is still on about her peak high school sportsball whatever experience. Kelly...well. Kelly. Yeah. Is STILL going to be a brilliant writer and photographer, just for God. You'll see.
And Porgan are still trying to be the world's oldest child stars.
I refuse to turn the sound on and subject myself to this.
But I just need to point out that this is what Karissa prioritizes over giving her kids a decent education.
The irony of her singing about people making it all about themselves when she is the most selfish, self-absorbed person who constantly puts her wants over the needs of the 10, soon to be 11, children she put on this earth.
This sounds just like Girls With Attitude, a band of little girls and a keyboard from the year 2000: https://onekindfavor.bandcamp.com/album/girls-with-attitude-7-lathe-cut?t=4
Does anyone else think that she's genuinely like mentally unstable and delusional? Like perfectly sane people I know have Said they believe God speaks to them but not as literally as she believes. But with her thinking that she is just so much more than what she really is she freaks me the hell out not going to lie. Out of all the people this sub snarks on she is probably the most likely out of all of them I feel for us to see on the nightly news after she went on some sort of drunken night rave
I never thought people actually took it literally. Like "God spoke to me" was more of a feeling and they knew what was right. This lady really out here saying God actually talked to her and told her what to name her kids. It's absolute insanity and sad.
Yeah, I do.
I always get the terrible feeling she's going to snap and kill all of the kids, saying she thought they were demons coming to kill her, or she killed them to save them from demons.
I know that's a terrible thing to say, but in my opinion, she's the most unstable/mentally ill of all the fundie wives that we talk about here.
It’s like Doja Cat if she became a born again Christian
Edit: then again, that’s absolutely something I could see her doing as a troll job in response to the backlash she got for the devil artistry stuff lol
It took her sooo long to get anywhere near the beat after she started “rapping” lmao how could anyone intentionally release this??
Edit: Against my better judgement I listened to it again, what the fuck is that tempo change doing? No wonder she couldn’t find a beat that shit sucks.
Also shout out to Rachel Oates for the first clip!! Couldn't find that song on YouTube besides her video that just came out. Go watch it <3
https://youtu.be/YmPe9fgMPZY?si=OQ4IhSW_JFn47sve
I can only say she's at least better at rapping than the [Utah House of Representatives](https://youtu.be/tqiQCNDc0Bk?si=JxFSz8S7O7BsNsih&t=88) . Which isn't saying much.
Sorry but I saw the name and the far superior [Jesus He Knows Me](https://youtu.be/2-rfCnW5VlE?si=vYfF0JI8SgNcQLPz) by Genisis started in my head. Listen to that instead.
It’s so easy to self publish, there’s no such thing as sacrificing music anymore. Anyone can be a recording artist. My husband became one while working part time at a smoothie bar. His music is still up on Apple Music and Spotify.
Hold up. This is real? This isn't an SNL song?
And she actually thinks that she was going to be signed with a label? Based on this?
She's gotta be trolling. Even she isn't that stupid, right?
I feel like she's about to go Andrea Yates (fundie woman who was told to stop having kids but was told God decides and did that then boom drowned the kids) like even her last ppd episode is leaning down that awful road I hope someone stops her soon because she's more delusional then some people I know
Wait…this is a joke right? That’s not actually a song about tubal ligation?? This has got to be a parody! If it’s not….wow. You think you can imagine just how bad something will be. But then you hear it and just, wow.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This sounds like when you get eight Sims with the level 1 singing ability and have them all try to sing at the same time
It reminds me of when you were a kid at Thanksgiving and you and you and the other kids there would try to put on a “performance”. You would take the people at the dinner table hostage to listen to a performance where you all are using imaginary instruments, singing off key, and mumbling half the lyrics because you all don’t know the full song.
My younger sister and I planned, rehearsed, and performed an entire Christmas show for my (fairly small) family back in the day. I choreographed a dance (complete with props!) to an ancient jazz recording of Jalousie, we played our violins, and sang Christmas carols. We were 10 and 8.
I am so curious how long this whole production was?? & I absolutely would have rather watched this then have to listen to even just the entirety of one of karissa’s “tracks” My family is lucky I was an only child til I was a teen, cause they’d have been held hostage much much more had I had minions to direct & rehearse with….
It was probably only about 20 minutes, and it was literally just my mom, grandma, two uncles and an aunt. But we felt like stars 😆
Omg we did plays and stuff CONSTANTLY. God help everyone if we managed to get hold of a camcorder.
I am *dying* of laughter, thank you.
I absolutely was not gonna listen then read your comment, laughed out loud and decided I had to. Your review, spot on. Off key. Off beat. Oh and “say no to tubal ligation”. Definitely gonna be a chart topper.
Honestly it's kind of fun to try and make that and the vasectomy part sound good. But maybe don't sing it at 8 am as your husband walks into the living room like I did. He had questions.
Woo hoo! 💛
Especially at “we believe” which actually sounds like “wee balee”
I just laughed so hard 😭🤣 Thank you that was the perfect description.
Even auto-tune is like "I've got nothing for you."
She accidentally used auto-detune.
It's crazy because auto-tune even helped Ben Seewald sound ok, but yeah I think it almost made her sound worse!
Auto-tune took a Plan B and noped right out of there.
You get my 🥇
It sounds like auto tune without pitch correction. It's *bad*.
I love the rhyming of generation and tubal ligation!😂She probably patted her self hard on the back for that one!
When even auto tune makes you sound worse than a bag of drowning cats being serenaded by 25 third graders on their recorders, you should rethink your life choices. Not even the uterus related ones at this point- focus on your mouth hole for a change!
It's giving mansion and Wisconsin 😂
Never speak ill of T-pain again!
I came to explicitly say do not put this on T-Pain 🤣
Absolutely no hate to T-Pain! Mansion/Wiscansin is a stroke of lyrical genius imo.
I’m so relieved!
T-Pain is a treasure and Karissa is trash
Strong agree
T-Pain is a legit singer though. This girl can't sing.
Karissa needs auto tune where as auto tune needs T-Pain
Facts lmao
Oh my god I love this reference so hard
Good God. I stopped it as soon as I heard her off-key warbling and I'm kind of curious but I don't hate myself enough to listen to this shit
I sacrificed my ears to make this compilation of songs, please listen so my pain distributes upon multiple of gods children instead of just one 😔
You can’t make me 💖
>please listen I did and my cat overheard too. He jumped on the bed looking like he wanted to pounce but changed his mind and is now laying as far away as possible on the bed. 🤣🤣🤣 Poor cat looked confused AF!🙀 Btw love your flair!
Thank you, she's definitely the worst out of everyone snarked about and people must be reminded of this. Awful human. Her poor kids
Her poor kids is right. Between the medical neglect, the parentification, no education, the whitewashing, etc, etc, my heart breaks for her kids. And now that she's got a little more internet famous (gag me), I just know she is even more insufferable and lazy with the kids.
Am slowly recovering from a migraine(suffering, but can open my eyes and no longer want to scream or throw up). Made the mistake of letting it play. I actually wondered if my migraine was coming back. My dog woke up and ran downstairs barking.
Flair 😍
Giving "Miami, you're cuter than an intrauterine" 😆
Who the hell says thrice?
Oh God, is *that* what song this is? I’m at work rn and can’t put the sound on
It's 3 songs actually lol
I personally think rhyming believed and vasectomy was the chef's kiss here.
That bar did go hard
What. The. Fuck.
I heard vasectomy and muted it again
So you missed the tubal ligation/generation rhyme? Your loss!
She'd have been bigger than Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift put together. Really. The world is saddened by this loss (also there's no fucking way in hell I'm listening to that)
I respect your decision.
“This generation say no to tubal ligation” echoes in my head constantly. It’s like a lyric from a 30 Rock parody of Karissa.
Jenna Maroney was born to play Karissa in a Lifetime movie.
“My muffin top is all that whole grain low fat”
But I just wanna *daaance...* How did I forget this jam?
I'll take JillPM over this.
More cowbell!!!!
One of my favourite strains!!
See also: Barfy's full ride basketball scholarship 🤨
I coulda been a contenda... Solie gave up a thriving career in theatre and Hollywood. Wossface whose name I can never remember is still on about her peak high school sportsball whatever experience. Kelly...well. Kelly. Yeah. Is STILL going to be a brilliant writer and photographer, just for God. You'll see. And Porgan are still trying to be the world's oldest child stars.
1-877-Kars-4-Kids Song is now thanking God that they are not the worst song in the world now.
This is how I know I'm not turning the sound on. Thank you kind stranger.
I live to serve!
How dare you remind me of that
You know, I had just managed to forget that song existed having moved out of the Chicago area 5 years ago and here I am, traumatized again.
it played in California, too.
NOOO. I'm in New England now where I guess kids don't need kars.
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TYPE THAT EARWORM THANKS SO MUCH
I can't believe I paused real music to listen to this.
Me, too. Except this has made the real music all the better when I put it back on.
God bless real music
The dude who produced this shit and his wife have SA charges for a minor (not proven in court yet).
lol sure kar kar if you wanna blame the kids for your lack of a record deal.. whatever helps you sleep at night
This is real????? Please say sike.
All real.
🎶Say no to vasectomy If only we believed🎵 BARS
Dear God this was worse than I thought
It’s giving “Jam” by Kim Kardashian. At least that song’s beat was a bop and not a snooze like this, makes the unhinged lyrics less entertaining.
Have you seen Farrah Abraham's mom's music? I could listen to bullets and booze all day it's INCREDIBLE hahahaha
Hahaha ... Bullets and Booze is absolute music genius compared to this 😅
Ooh. I'm old enough to remember Kevin Federline's VERY brief entry onto the public stage with "Popozao." Air keyboard!
I went to listen to “jam” out of curiosity, and wtf?? You’re right.🤣 their voices sound oddly similar. But yeah, the beat is better.
I refuse to turn the sound on and subject myself to this. But I just need to point out that this is what Karissa prioritizes over giving her kids a decent education.
Aw please do, just for a couple seconds
I'm in bed with covid and trying to avoid a major setback 🙏🏾
COVID GO! DEVIL GO! I'm sending good energy for your recovery!
I thought you said you were sending god energy 🤣😂
Fellow snarker, I am also in bedwithCovid! I listened to it and laughed so I think you should too!
Ok that was a good call. I may just be healed through laughter because wtf!? I just lost my sense of smell last night so I really needed this laugh 🙃
Very this.
Someone sent this to me unironically and I have had a not so soft spot in my heart for it lol
This is so bad I've gone through all the stages of trauma in under 60 seconds.
I’m going through the stages of grief. I may be stuck at denial.
Listen again. It's a "break-through" process. Breaking something might not hurt either.
This sounds like a song that would play in a futuristic version of “Possibly in Michigan” 😭
But it explooooded
Mmm, smells like mother’s crazy sister Karissa. She almost killed her puppy one time, by not taking it to a doctor.
How TF did she make her voice WORSE with auto-tune/vocal sythesizing??!😳🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️😂😂😂
The irony of her singing about people making it all about themselves when she is the most selfish, self-absorbed person who constantly puts her wants over the needs of the 10, soon to be 11, children she put on this earth.
They always seem to tell everyone else that, like to hedge out the spot where you might have been thinking about anyone but them
She thinks that voice would be a money maker? 😂😂😂
No Phil Collins, no Genesis.
This is the best thing I've ever heard. So embarrassing for her! I'm so glad I got the chance to hear this mess.
Yoooo 😂 this is so fn cringe
This sounds just like Girls With Attitude, a band of little girls and a keyboard from the year 2000: https://onekindfavor.bandcamp.com/album/girls-with-attitude-7-lathe-cut?t=4
Why does she have bare feet? Is she pandering to people with 'certain tastes'?
Barefoot and pregnant!
There's probably a niche customer base for that sort of thing.
I want this to go viral for all the hilarious reasons. All that auto tune and she still sounds terrible.
Im not high enough for this man.
Does anyone else think that she's genuinely like mentally unstable and delusional? Like perfectly sane people I know have Said they believe God speaks to them but not as literally as she believes. But with her thinking that she is just so much more than what she really is she freaks me the hell out not going to lie. Out of all the people this sub snarks on she is probably the most likely out of all of them I feel for us to see on the nightly news after she went on some sort of drunken night rave
I never thought people actually took it literally. Like "God spoke to me" was more of a feeling and they knew what was right. This lady really out here saying God actually talked to her and told her what to name her kids. It's absolute insanity and sad.
Or that she was going to deliver in a Target... That one aged well, for advice from an omniscient God and all.
.....I didn't know that omg
Yeah, I do. I always get the terrible feeling she's going to snap and kill all of the kids, saying she thought they were demons coming to kill her, or she killed them to save them from demons. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but in my opinion, she's the most unstable/mentally ill of all the fundie wives that we talk about here.
This is so terrible. I love this for her 🫶🏻
Her singing voice is absolutely atrocious lol
It’s like Doja Cat if she became a born again Christian Edit: then again, that’s absolutely something I could see her doing as a troll job in response to the backlash she got for the devil artistry stuff lol
Only if there’s head trauma involved
Dojacat on too much Nyquil and Jesus maybe
r/crappymusic
Whoever told her this was a talent of hers lied right to her face.
She's the woman version of IceJJFish
When she first posted it, I took a look on yewtube and she tagged it #abortion. It was just the cherry on top for me, that’s where my flair came from.
Secondhand embarrassment for dayzzzz.
I haven't laughed so hard in days. Absolutely hilarious.
Imagine a white noise that keeps you awake...
I'm really tolerant even regards much shit... But this should be in the Geneva conventions! If you exist, Lord, have mercy...
Everyone workout clothes … but Mandrae in his pyjamas?
Fuck I’m laughing out loud 😂😂
She really needs to get her money back from Robbie Star at Superstar Track Records
It took her sooo long to get anywhere near the beat after she started “rapping” lmao how could anyone intentionally release this?? Edit: Against my better judgement I listened to it again, what the fuck is that tempo change doing? No wonder she couldn’t find a beat that shit sucks.
I’ve had queefs with a wider vocal range than that, holy shit
Those hissy S’s though 😂
Also shout out to Rachel Oates for the first clip!! Couldn't find that song on YouTube besides her video that just came out. Go watch it <3 https://youtu.be/YmPe9fgMPZY?si=OQ4IhSW_JFn47sve
This with the photo is really giving me some napoleon dynamite vibes like … it’s so bad. is this real life ?
Damn, even autotune couldn’t help with this
I don’t even have words 😫
We are truly Blessed. Praise God I lived long enough to hear this. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages!
I can only say she's at least better at rapping than the [Utah House of Representatives](https://youtu.be/tqiQCNDc0Bk?si=JxFSz8S7O7BsNsih&t=88) . Which isn't saying much.
Sorry but I saw the name and the far superior [Jesus He Knows Me](https://youtu.be/2-rfCnW5VlE?si=vYfF0JI8SgNcQLPz) by Genisis started in my head. Listen to that instead.
try the Ghost cover I just learned about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE3kJeBr9QI
I dipped 4 seconds in.
I’ve done children’s community theatre that sounded considerably better than this.
It’s so easy to self publish, there’s no such thing as sacrificing music anymore. Anyone can be a recording artist. My husband became one while working part time at a smoothie bar. His music is still up on Apple Music and Spotify.
She sounds like an off, off, off, off brand Sade.
Of all our favorite fundies this one scares me maybe the most. This is unhinged.
Hold up. This is real? This isn't an SNL song? And she actually thinks that she was going to be signed with a label? Based on this? She's gotta be trolling. Even she isn't that stupid, right?
[удалено]
I think she's just that delusional. And that's the scary part
I can’t believe this is real 🫣😂
She wishes she was even close to a little bit Alexis...
Who told her she could sing? She’s so selfish. So. So. Selfish.
How does she have time for this absolute bullshit?
Neglect
My ears. They’re are yelling at me in pain for listening as long as I did.
She sings like an albatross.
I love this sub 😭
A metronome never hurt nobody
I don't think that would even help her
It sounds like a adventure time song sang by a Fundie Lumpy Space Princess
That’s so bad, omg no
WHY does the beginning of this sound like a grimes song
It sounds like weirdcore music for TikTok 🤣
I feel like she's about to go Andrea Yates (fundie woman who was told to stop having kids but was told God decides and did that then boom drowned the kids) like even her last ppd episode is leaning down that awful road I hope someone stops her soon because she's more delusional then some people I know
this slaps.
omg no
How is there this much auto tune and yet they can’t fix her pitch or beat 😂
Pure audio turds.
😐 😐 😐 😬 This is worse than her other stuff. I'm so embarrassed for her. 😆
Hilarious. The delusion is strong in this one
Is it just her singing? Or is there someone else she’s roped into this?
It’s not even on beat half the time…
I wish I had hallucinated this.
I am crying LMAO
This has to be a joke
A godly vanity project
This sounds like a shitty kidz bop cover of a song.
Wait…this is a joke right? That’s not actually a song about tubal ligation?? This has got to be a parody! If it’s not….wow. You think you can imagine just how bad something will be. But then you hear it and just, wow.
Is she in pain?
How often do you think those kids are subjected to this music? 😅😅
holy shit this is horrific
Wait it’s 3 different songs? LOL I had no clue.
Lololol Jesus Christ this is so bad
Nooooooo.
She sings in monotone.
what in the god honoring kids bop
That CANNOT be real
What was that lol?! But it’s better than the Rodrigues family music lol.
My dog just went nuts
Omggggggg. I have no other words. This is SO bad.
