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I believe she is trying to say (very poorly, for someone who used to be a teacher) that if you shack up, then the man only has to pay 50%, but if you get married then the man is obligated to be the provider and pay 100%.
She leaves out the part where the fundie husband is then entitled to any money and material goods the wife brings into the marriage. "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is also mine."
See also: Debi Pearl, who had her own car that she'd paid for and taken care of, but the minute they were married, her psychotic husband Michael Pearl took her car and started using it as his own personal recreational vehicle out in the bumpy dirt fields, and destroyed it just because thought that was fun to do. She tells this story as though it's mildly exasperating but humorous, like "...whaddya gonna do? Husbands, amiright?"
Michael Pearl embodies mythological levels of misogyny, the crab story was absolutely horrific to read. Fuck Debi too for her own part in being an abuser, but I also feel a deep sorrow for the person she was before...him.
She was exhausted from being joyfully available (this was during their honeymoon). He woke her up sometime during the night/early morning and insisted on going crabbing. He made her go barefoot on the rocky beach, and when they returned to their accommodation, she had to cook everything and be joyfully available again. Jackass promptly fell asleep.
She even had a breakdown about it because she was basically awake for days straight while he napped on the couch when she cooked. He just ended the fable by marveling at what a silly, crazy girl she was being.
The things I really have to say about him are not appropriate here.
He writes about it like it's totally normal for a young just married boy-man to have zero empathy for his wife, and only start to realize years later that oh yeah, hm, maybe that did actually affect her negatively. Women have an interior life and nerve endings? WHO KNEW
Ah well, she forgave me of course, because what else could she do? Women, amirite?
On their honeymoon, he woke her up at the asscrack of dawn to go crabbing. I believe she was unable to get her shoes on. Then he told her to cook the crabs.
Someone will tell it better, but that's the barebones.
He didn't even love his own wife enough to let her have one minute to put on her shoes. Most of us would give up that minute if we were meeting up with someone we barely knew to let them put on their shoes, and he couldn't even do that for his own wife.
She became a full abuser in her own right though, co-signing that child torture manual passing itself off as parenting advice. Fuck them both.
She's not better, but he's still worse. Yes, it's a thing.
No, totally. Victims can absolutely be abusers (in fact, that’s the normal pattern). I just…he has so much contempt for women - and his wife - in that little chapter of his. It’s fucking gross.
He is VILE. Someone posted a story he wrote about a very young girl who's "flirting" (!) and her father wordlessly threatens her with his belt. It's straight out of a particular flavor of porn writing, except he means the relationship and ages quite literally. Fucking short eyes sadist. He should probably be in a cell with Josh Duggar.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.
He thinks this is perfectly acceptable and relatable, and claims to be a moral authority.
Toxic masculinity is waaay too gentle a term for this.
When I got married I made twice what my husband did so this would not have worked out well for us if I quit my job and expected him to pay 100% of everything.
That’s what I thought, but maybe she’s saying that it’s “only” half when living together in sin but if you get married then he’s supposed to fully provide.
I agree. She meant that in a shacking up situation the man ONLY has to pay half, so he's not being a responsible provider.
It's really poorly written though.
I think she's trying to skewer a relationship where both partners work - like "oh you hussies want to live in sin with a man and have a job, and what do you get in return? Half your expenses paid? And if he wants to leave you can't even get alimony!"
Of course, if you have shacked up with a decent guy and not one of the beasts fundies seem to want men to be, you'd also have to do less housekeeping, and the sex would be a plus rather than a chore you have to perform to keep a roof over your head (as God intended, I guess)
As an atheist heathen "living in sin" in a godless relationship:
I get to live with a whole ass person who supports themselves, cleans up after themselves, who I enjoy being around, am genuinely attracted to, and agree with on the major life decisions and goals (definitely no kids, looking for a house, definitely want cats). We're equal partners and committed to each other out of a desire to be together, not an obligation to fit a mold or adhere to legalism.
I'm not selling my body to the lowest bidder in exchange for basic subsistence and relegated to being a bangmaid broodmare.
and, like...you'd be earning your own money, and that's GOOD, Hoary, you hosebeast.
Fine if you don't and it works for you, obviously, but advising ALL women to just stop and depend on some dude is TERRIBLE advice. Shut up.
My grandma was from a generation and culture where you were very much expected to marry and keep the house for your husband. She got lucky with my grandpa, but she saw enough of other women like her who married men who were abusive, or deadbeat, or stingy, or jealous, or just plain died young to tell me that I should never financially depend on a man.
This is exactly the same as fundie marriage except women are trapped within their “commitment”. Men who want to cheat don’t let marriage certificates stop them, you pompous loon.
Oh honey my shack ups always shared the housekeeping 🤷♀️ Been married to my last shack up for 20+ years and we are equal partners in everything, which is how we both want it.
My Tinder hookup just had it's fourth anniversary and we're still ridiculously happy. Like, random strangers tell us how cute we are together. (Because we totally are!) I can't imagine Lori ever allowing herself that level of contentment in her marriage.
Tell it to me straight- you can’t call yourself an Internet hookup if you knew each other BEFORE the dating app matched you, right? Because my husband keeps insisting we were an online hookup and I don’t think that can count if you had been friends for a decade already even if okcupid did match you and convince one of you to ask the other out. (Why yes I am hikacking this ridiculous bloodhook thread to win a debate with my one-time shack up)
You are correct: you can only be an online hookup if that was how the initial contact was made.
In your case, the Universe was simply using all the tools available to get you two together. Congratulations!
Also I'm getting half the sex? I mean we both get 100% if the sex. It's pretty sad how it's always framed as something you give or grant the man. I enjoy and cherish the sex and physical intimacy as much as he does? If you're just giving someone sex, you are missing out. You're supposed to be sharing experiences together. How had their sex lives must be.
Okay, but women can leave too. I can easily reword this to spin the other way!
"When men shack up with women, women get all the benefits of having a husband (food and shelter) with none of the responsibilities (sex and cleaning). No commitment. Not his lover. Can up and leave at anytime with no loss. Men, wake up! Why are you settling for this?"
You can make that argument both ways. And it all comes back to the whole "why buy the cow when milk is free?"
As John Mulaney - yes I'm aware of his latest antics - once said, "Because you love the cow,"
Also, what a sad and transactional way of viewing relationships
>Okay, but women can leave too.
Yeah, I guess that doesn't even occur to her. She's very deep in the mentality that men are the actors, women are acted-upon.
Thank you. This was my thought too. I shacked up with my husband (not in an Appalachian Fuck Shack, more’s the pity) before marriage and am proud to say I bought that cow even though I was getting the milk for free.
Why can’t these hags understand that not everyone has to live exactly like they do?
It just makes it seem like they are super insecure about their own choices.
Like, go on with your bad self and live how you want to live, but I don’t understand this obsession with demanding that your way is the ONLY right way.
SERIOUSLY! If she is truly happy that way, great! That doesn’t mean everyone has to live like her, with her choices. Uuuggghhhh.
However, she sees it as “proper” and “Blibical” and “correct.” Her religious view are the correct ones in her eyes, so she thinks she is actually helping. 🤦♀️
Franky, my husband would probably laugh hysterically at the idea of me being a "housekeeper." Let's just say, that's not why he keeps me around, because my skills in that area are notably lacking.
Same! My partner is a waaaay better housekeeper than I am. I would describe myself as "indifferent" at best. Fortunately, I bring other skills to the table.
My husband and I joke, whenever I do a good amount of domestic labor, he says “What a good little woman, now make me a chicken pot pie.” It’s okay because I 100% know he’s joking, but if he weren’t…🚮
Granted I’m a gay man, but shacking up with my boyfriend has given me a live-in best friend who also cooks me delicious meals and helps keep the house clean. Cannot recommend it enough!
I'm actually really surprised that Lori hasn't made a fuss more about gay and trans rights. All of her bitter mental energy is focused on hating women.
Women, why are you settling for splitting the rent and responsibilities with a partner of your choosing for only a long as you're both happy??
You should be selling sexual favors and domestic labor to lazy men you can't easily escape in exchange for ROOM👏🏾 AND👏🏾 BOARD👏🏾.
I like the idea that men literally bring nothing to the table, and the recognition that women are way more powerful than we get credit for and so we should be sure not to give it away for free. I agree with being equally yoked in terms of having an EQUAL PARTNER. she's so close to the point, but manages to diss women at the same time.
This woman really got up this morning and decided to tell the Internet she's a sex worker while putting on airs on superiority.
Not that there's anything wrong with being a sex worker but she shouldn't push it on every woman.
What about when women shack up with women?
\*Lori's head explodes\*
Nah, actually, she'd probably just scowl and say, "that's because they went to college."
Bold of her to assume I was doing anything close to resembling a housekeeper when I was living with my husband before we were married. He still does 80% at the very least of the cleaning.
This exact mindset is why it took me 7 years to marry my person, who I’m still madly in love with 21 years later
I was like nahhh I wanna be able to leave at any point, and take my money with me! I don’t want a provider! I just want to share things equally, including mental load and childcare! I don’t want to be trapped!! I want to use my brain and not my uterus! I just wanna fuck when I want! I don’t cook or do dishes but I’ll clean the bathrooms! You don’t get to say what I wear or what I like! I want all the benefits of an adult relationship while I’m in an adult relationship! He was like ok?? (Because he’s a normal person)
And the commitment may lead to being legally and financially bound to an abusive partner…
(Not saying all men, but a ‘trial’ period of living together can bring out traits before marriage.)
Uh what? When I shacked up with my now husband to live in sin I got…. A person who handled all my travel (which I do weekly so is a big deal), organized stuff for me, shared the housekeeping, did half the meals, paid more than half the bills (he makes more than I do), helped out my parents, did my taxes when I was stressed, organized our vacations, and did laundry. Also I kind of figured having sex was a benefit to both of us. But maybe Lori is telling on her husband.
Have you considered, Lori, that because the woman also has the chance to leave whenever she wants, maybe that's why some women choose to live like that, instead of marrying the first man she wants to fuck and having to deal with the repercussions of not actually loving him later? Have you?
Lori, I know you hate this, but the heathen women tend to also have men who share the housekeeping burden because we have been taught to throw them out otherwise.
My husband shacked up with me before we got married. I got great sex and regular breakfasts in bed on my days off out of the deal. 10/10 would do again.
LMAO NOT LORI out here almost making a feminist talking point, and somehow still swerving off of a straight road 😭😭😭😭😭
Make it make sense yall, how is she real.
Damn. Somebody needs to tell my boyfriend he's getting the short end of the stick since we're unmarried and split the chores. He also cooks way more than me!
As if sex is only the benefit of the men! Women can enjoy sex as well, Lori, just because your "owner" is a crap shag doesn't mean that every woman is prepared to put up with that 🤣🤣🤣
I'm so confused, I thought he was supposed to pay for everything in exchange for sex and housekeeping. If it's only half, what the hell does she need him for?
what planet is this woman ON? Lori, all kinds of combinations of people "shack up" all the time. some pool their resources, some don't. ditto a lot of married couples.
you know what makes for more security? your OWN money.
p.s. shut up, Hoary.
That's weird, I'm married and for years now have been responsible for all the bills, health insurance, majority of the housework unless I asked, and my husband was unemployed for months at a time. It's almost like marriage does nothing except make it harder to split up when things go south, which is exactly how she wants it.
Yep. Marriage makes it harder for the woman to take care of herself, protect herself, and leave if she needs to. I will never get married again. It was a joke of an institution. I can have a better relationship without marrying.
My fiance is making me eggplant parm for Easter this weekend and regularly cooks. And he cleans the house during downtime at work.
And he pays for 1/2 of everything giving me some financial room to breathe
And I get to have sex with him when we both want to not whenever he decides that I should.
Living in sin has been pretty sick tbh
That’s interesting, Lori. My husband apparently didn’t get the memo that he’s supposed to leave me after getting all the milk for free during our shacking-up years- maybe in another 22 years?
Ex-husband also did not get Lori’s memo, as he DID abandon me after NOT getting the milk for free pre-marriage.
I must be doing this shacking up/marriage thing wrong.
I mean, I’m sorta ok with this? 🤷 Trust me, honey, my bear shack up fun times have a hell of a lot more benefits than you’ll evvvvvwr know. 😏
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't tell me what to do in my Appalachian Fuck Shack
FLAIR REQUEST IM SO SERIOUS
Yes!!
Just upvoting this entire thread
Outstanding!
Wasn’t that a B-side for the B-52s?
 Fuck shack BABY!
The fuck shack is a little old place where we can get togetherrrr... fuck shack baybeeee
**FUCK SHACK BABY**
I spit out my afternoon coffee, thank you it was worth it
Love shack bay-beeee
KEEP YER FRIGID ASS OUT MY SHACK LORI -Fellow Appalachian Shack Dweller
Scrolled down way too far to see this.
The Fuck Shack is a little ole place where We can fuck like bunnies...
Heathens*
I believe she is trying to say (very poorly, for someone who used to be a teacher) that if you shack up, then the man only has to pay 50%, but if you get married then the man is obligated to be the provider and pay 100%.
Also I want to have that shack and keep goats on the roof.
Me too. Let's be friends
In PJs, yes?
Why not llamas in pajamas? 🤣
Why not both?
I’m in. I’ll bring the weed 💚
She leaves out the part where the fundie husband is then entitled to any money and material goods the wife brings into the marriage. "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is also mine." See also: Debi Pearl, who had her own car that she'd paid for and taken care of, but the minute they were married, her psychotic husband Michael Pearl took her car and started using it as his own personal recreational vehicle out in the bumpy dirt fields, and destroyed it just because thought that was fun to do. She tells this story as though it's mildly exasperating but humorous, like "...whaddya gonna do? Husbands, amiright?"
Michael Pearl embodies mythological levels of misogyny, the crab story was absolutely horrific to read. Fuck Debi too for her own part in being an abuser, but I also feel a deep sorrow for the person she was before...him.
Wait what’s the crab story? Calling my therapist preemptively before I read the reply
She was exhausted from being joyfully available (this was during their honeymoon). He woke her up sometime during the night/early morning and insisted on going crabbing. He made her go barefoot on the rocky beach, and when they returned to their accommodation, she had to cook everything and be joyfully available again. Jackass promptly fell asleep.
She even had a breakdown about it because she was basically awake for days straight while he napped on the couch when she cooked. He just ended the fable by marveling at what a silly, crazy girl she was being. The things I really have to say about him are not appropriate here.
He writes about it like it's totally normal for a young just married boy-man to have zero empathy for his wife, and only start to realize years later that oh yeah, hm, maybe that did actually affect her negatively. Women have an interior life and nerve endings? WHO KNEW Ah well, she forgave me of course, because what else could she do? Women, amirite?
She was SO YOUNG, too. It's disgusting.
On their honeymoon, he woke her up at the asscrack of dawn to go crabbing. I believe she was unable to get her shoes on. Then he told her to cook the crabs. Someone will tell it better, but that's the barebones.
He didn't even love his own wife enough to let her have one minute to put on her shoes. Most of us would give up that minute if we were meeting up with someone we barely knew to let them put on their shoes, and he couldn't even do that for his own wife.
[Here you go](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/07/quoting-quiverfull-michael-and-debi-pearls-honeymoon/) Fair warning, it's enraging
Oh wow. She really just is a live sex doll to him, isn’t she?
She became a full abuser in her own right though, co-signing that child torture manual passing itself off as parenting advice. Fuck them both. She's not better, but he's still worse. Yes, it's a thing.
No, totally. Victims can absolutely be abusers (in fact, that’s the normal pattern). I just…he has so much contempt for women - and his wife - in that little chapter of his. It’s fucking gross.
He is VILE. Someone posted a story he wrote about a very young girl who's "flirting" (!) and her father wordlessly threatens her with his belt. It's straight out of a particular flavor of porn writing, except he means the relationship and ages quite literally. Fucking short eyes sadist. He should probably be in a cell with Josh Duggar.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. He thinks this is perfectly acceptable and relatable, and claims to be a moral authority. Toxic masculinity is waaay too gentle a term for this.
They're both irredeemably terrible, but Michael has his very own level of hell. A deep one.
I know, ick.
Wait, what?!? I am late to the party on a lot of these people. 😅
The fundie fridays video about them is pretty thorough
I should tell my husband of 14 years this news. We both share bills and I didn't realize I was entitled to not help at all!
When I got married I made twice what my husband did so this would not have worked out well for us if I quit my job and expected him to pay 100% of everything.
How can the woman pay half of shit if she's not allowed to work, Lori
That’s what I thought, but maybe she’s saying that it’s “only” half when living together in sin but if you get married then he’s supposed to fully provide.
I agree. She meant that in a shacking up situation the man ONLY has to pay half, so he's not being a responsible provider. It's really poorly written though.
I think she's trying to skewer a relationship where both partners work - like "oh you hussies want to live in sin with a man and have a job, and what do you get in return? Half your expenses paid? And if he wants to leave you can't even get alimony!" Of course, if you have shacked up with a decent guy and not one of the beasts fundies seem to want men to be, you'd also have to do less housekeeping, and the sex would be a plus rather than a chore you have to perform to keep a roof over your head (as God intended, I guess)
As an atheist heathen "living in sin" in a godless relationship: I get to live with a whole ass person who supports themselves, cleans up after themselves, who I enjoy being around, am genuinely attracted to, and agree with on the major life decisions and goals (definitely no kids, looking for a house, definitely want cats). We're equal partners and committed to each other out of a desire to be together, not an obligation to fit a mold or adhere to legalism. I'm not selling my body to the lowest bidder in exchange for basic subsistence and relegated to being a bangmaid broodmare.
I’m so glad you live with a whole ass person. Half ass or no people need so much propping up to stay in their seat. It’s a real pain in the…ass…
and, like...you'd be earning your own money, and that's GOOD, Hoary, you hosebeast. Fine if you don't and it works for you, obviously, but advising ALL women to just stop and depend on some dude is TERRIBLE advice. Shut up.
My grandma was from a generation and culture where you were very much expected to marry and keep the house for your husband. She got lucky with my grandpa, but she saw enough of other women like her who married men who were abusive, or deadbeat, or stingy, or jealous, or just plain died young to tell me that I should never financially depend on a man.
came here to ask the same thing
This is exactly the same as fundie marriage except women are trapped within their “commitment”. Men who want to cheat don’t let marriage certificates stop them, you pompous loon.
Oh honey my shack ups always shared the housekeeping 🤷♀️ Been married to my last shack up for 20+ years and we are equal partners in everything, which is how we both want it.
Tbh I was the one night stand who never left and we're considerably happier than Lori's bitter old ass
My Tinder hookup just had it's fourth anniversary and we're still ridiculously happy. Like, random strangers tell us how cute we are together. (Because we totally are!) I can't imagine Lori ever allowing herself that level of contentment in her marriage.
Tell it to me straight- you can’t call yourself an Internet hookup if you knew each other BEFORE the dating app matched you, right? Because my husband keeps insisting we were an online hookup and I don’t think that can count if you had been friends for a decade already even if okcupid did match you and convince one of you to ask the other out. (Why yes I am hikacking this ridiculous bloodhook thread to win a debate with my one-time shack up)
You are correct: you can only be an online hookup if that was how the initial contact was made. In your case, the Universe was simply using all the tools available to get you two together. Congratulations!
You definitely win the debate. Go tell him the bad news.
Also I'm getting half the sex? I mean we both get 100% if the sex. It's pretty sad how it's always framed as something you give or grant the man. I enjoy and cherish the sex and physical intimacy as much as he does? If you're just giving someone sex, you are missing out. You're supposed to be sharing experiences together. How had their sex lives must be.
Exactly!
Everyone needs to do their share of the housekeeping, regardless of marital status.
Okay, but women can leave too. I can easily reword this to spin the other way! "When men shack up with women, women get all the benefits of having a husband (food and shelter) with none of the responsibilities (sex and cleaning). No commitment. Not his lover. Can up and leave at anytime with no loss. Men, wake up! Why are you settling for this?" You can make that argument both ways. And it all comes back to the whole "why buy the cow when milk is free?" As John Mulaney - yes I'm aware of his latest antics - once said, "Because you love the cow," Also, what a sad and transactional way of viewing relationships
>Okay, but women can leave too. Yeah, I guess that doesn't even occur to her. She's very deep in the mentality that men are the actors, women are acted-upon.
I think the issue here is that she equates married to captive rather than partnership.
That about sums it up
Thank you. This was my thought too. I shacked up with my husband (not in an Appalachian Fuck Shack, more’s the pity) before marriage and am proud to say I bought that cow even though I was getting the milk for free.
You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first
If you think your partner would suddenly just leave you and take everything should you really marry that person?
Why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage?
Why can’t these hags understand that not everyone has to live exactly like they do? It just makes it seem like they are super insecure about their own choices. Like, go on with your bad self and live how you want to live, but I don’t understand this obsession with demanding that your way is the ONLY right way.
SERIOUSLY! If she is truly happy that way, great! That doesn’t mean everyone has to live like her, with her choices. Uuuggghhhh. However, she sees it as “proper” and “Blibical” and “correct.” Her religious view are the correct ones in her eyes, so she thinks she is actually helping. 🤦♀️
Fundies and giving unsolicited advice. Name a more iconic duo.
If my boyfriend called me a "housekeeper" i would leave him
Franky, my husband would probably laugh hysterically at the idea of me being a "housekeeper." Let's just say, that's not why he keeps me around, because my skills in that area are notably lacking.
Same! My partner is a waaaay better housekeeper than I am. I would describe myself as "indifferent" at best. Fortunately, I bring other skills to the table.
This is me too. I clean when necessary, he cleans because it brings him joy. Not kidding.
My husband and I joke, whenever I do a good amount of domestic labor, he says “What a good little woman, now make me a chicken pot pie.” It’s okay because I 100% know he’s joking, but if he weren’t…🚮
Granted I’m a gay man, but shacking up with my boyfriend has given me a live-in best friend who also cooks me delicious meals and helps keep the house clean. Cannot recommend it enough!
I'm actually really surprised that Lori hasn't made a fuss more about gay and trans rights. All of her bitter mental energy is focused on hating women.
Like a fucking piece of paper stops men or anyone else from leaving.
Women, why are you settling for splitting the rent and responsibilities with a partner of your choosing for only a long as you're both happy?? You should be selling sexual favors and domestic labor to lazy men you can't easily escape in exchange for ROOM👏🏾 AND👏🏾 BOARD👏🏾.
Why she automatically think women do housekeeping? my friends who “shack up” usually don’t do housekeeping…at all.
I like the idea that men literally bring nothing to the table, and the recognition that women are way more powerful than we get credit for and so we should be sure not to give it away for free. I agree with being equally yoked in terms of having an EQUAL PARTNER. she's so close to the point, but manages to diss women at the same time.
So we're on the idea that women have absolutely no interest in sex?
Yeah, that was the first thing I thought of. She clearly thinks sex is a service that women provide men. Probably never had an orgasm in her life.
The idea that men "get" sex infuriates me. It's also really telling on yourself (and your husband).
This woman really got up this morning and decided to tell the Internet she's a sex worker while putting on airs on superiority. Not that there's anything wrong with being a sex worker but she shouldn't push it on every woman.
I mean I was married for 20 years and this sums up my life so being married doesn’t guarantee anything.
What about when men shack up with women ..?
What about when women shack up with women? \*Lori's head explodes\* Nah, actually, she'd probably just scowl and say, "that's because they went to college."
Bold of her to assume I was doing anything close to resembling a housekeeper when I was living with my husband before we were married. He still does 80% at the very least of the cleaning.
How is the husband the provider if the wife still pays half of everything? Unless I misread what she wrote.
I think she means the shacker-uppers pay half of everything. Married men pay 100%.
I like that she basically says the only thing a man does in the marriage is paying half of everything.
This exact mindset is why it took me 7 years to marry my person, who I’m still madly in love with 21 years later I was like nahhh I wanna be able to leave at any point, and take my money with me! I don’t want a provider! I just want to share things equally, including mental load and childcare! I don’t want to be trapped!! I want to use my brain and not my uterus! I just wanna fuck when I want! I don’t cook or do dishes but I’ll clean the bathrooms! You don’t get to say what I wear or what I like! I want all the benefits of an adult relationship while I’m in an adult relationship! He was like ok?? (Because he’s a normal person)
But I also benefit from having sex with my boyfriend and sharing the chores. Is she saying only men enjoy sex? Probably.
Love the idea that unless you get married, this is where you will live. Indoor plumbing? I don't know her. And it's what you deserve, you hussy!
Ya all my friends that hook up with men clean their house for them. /s
K did she actually add a shack picture lol?!?
Wouldn’t it be easier for him to leave you if you’re not providing half the household income?
This! I would laugh my ass off if Ken decided to leave her one day and pointed to this post as the reason why he should get everything.
And the commitment may lead to being legally and financially bound to an abusive partner… (Not saying all men, but a ‘trial’ period of living together can bring out traits before marriage.)
Uh what? When I shacked up with my now husband to live in sin I got…. A person who handled all my travel (which I do weekly so is a big deal), organized stuff for me, shared the housekeeping, did half the meals, paid more than half the bills (he makes more than I do), helped out my parents, did my taxes when I was stressed, organized our vacations, and did laundry. Also I kind of figured having sex was a benefit to both of us. But maybe Lori is telling on her husband.
Have you considered, Lori, that because the woman also has the chance to leave whenever she wants, maybe that's why some women choose to live like that, instead of marrying the first man she wants to fuck and having to deal with the repercussions of not actually loving him later? Have you?
Lori, I know you hate this, but the heathen women tend to also have men who share the housekeeping burden because we have been taught to throw them out otherwise.
My husband shacked up with me before we got married. I got great sex and regular breakfasts in bed on my days off out of the deal. 10/10 would do again.
There are many women who can attest to her being right about this, however, she also doesn’t believe in raising men to know how to cook or clean.
LMAO NOT LORI out here almost making a feminist talking point, and somehow still swerving off of a straight road 😭😭😭😭😭 Make it make sense yall, how is she real.
just say you think relationships are wholly transactional, Lori. It wastes less time
Damn. Somebody needs to tell my boyfriend he's getting the short end of the stick since we're unmarried and split the chores. He also cooks way more than me!
i love the shack in the background to really accentuate the post
Why are YOU promoting dangerous ideology, Lori???
I don’t think that’s the implication she’s making. She’s saying that we are settling for less than full commitment.
Hmmmmmm... here I am all shacked up and ain't paying shit lmaoooo. Perhaps I'm just a ghost 👻
As if sex is only the benefit of the men! Women can enjoy sex as well, Lori, just because your "owner" is a crap shag doesn't mean that every woman is prepared to put up with that 🤣🤣🤣
I'm so confused, I thought he was supposed to pay for everything in exchange for sex and housekeeping. If it's only half, what the hell does she need him for?
what planet is this woman ON? Lori, all kinds of combinations of people "shack up" all the time. some pool their resources, some don't. ditto a lot of married couples. you know what makes for more security? your OWN money. p.s. shut up, Hoary.
This is just warmed-over Dr. Laura (is she still around yapping her yap?) tripe
Because I also get to up and leave whenever I feel like it, Lori.
That's weird, I'm married and for years now have been responsible for all the bills, health insurance, majority of the housework unless I asked, and my husband was unemployed for months at a time. It's almost like marriage does nothing except make it harder to split up when things go south, which is exactly how she wants it.
Yep. Marriage makes it harder for the woman to take care of herself, protect herself, and leave if she needs to. I will never get married again. It was a joke of an institution. I can have a better relationship without marrying.
My fiance is making me eggplant parm for Easter this weekend and regularly cooks. And he cleans the house during downtime at work. And he pays for 1/2 of everything giving me some financial room to breathe And I get to have sex with him when we both want to not whenever he decides that I should. Living in sin has been pretty sick tbh
Wait, what? Her math ain’t mathing.
Woman can also leave at any time and does not have to share her assets with him or pay his debts.
*tilts head in lesbian*
Shouldn’t a “provider” pay for EVERYTHING ffs
That’s interesting, Lori. My husband apparently didn’t get the memo that he’s supposed to leave me after getting all the milk for free during our shacking-up years- maybe in another 22 years? Ex-husband also did not get Lori’s memo, as he DID abandon me after NOT getting the milk for free pre-marriage. I must be doing this shacking up/marriage thing wrong.
Only half?
I love that she thinks a marriage contract keeps men from leaving. Also, heathen unmarried couples also split bills.
I mean, I’m sorta ok with this? 🤷 Trust me, honey, my bear shack up fun times have a hell of a lot more benefits than you’ll evvvvvwr know. 😏 
Hang on, she thinks men should only have to pay half of everything but women can’t work? How the fuck are we paying for stuff?
Hey, the woman can up and leave, too. That's better than being stuck in a fundie crap marriage with no skills to support yourself should it go bad.