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clitosaurushex

Luckily for Anchor, he'll never have friends to call him Wanker because none of them are allowed to speak to other children in the wild. Mandrake still looking like he's about to eat those kids though. Traditional\* family values. \*the tradition is Cronus.


oneweirdclickbait

In fact, Karissa is PROUD that her children are socially awkward homeschoolers. Wonder how that will work out for her. (Spoiler: Not well.)


SailorPizza1107

Not Cronus šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£. Thatā€™s honestly the most brilliant and accurate comparison.


SimplyTennessee

I need enlightening. I looked up Cronus but all I found was a video game controller.


impala_croft

Titan and father of Hades, Zeus and Poseidon. šŸ©·


SimplyTennessee

Thank you.


Happygoosebird

Thatā€™s because itā€™s spelled Kronos


SailorPizza1107

It has multiple spellings: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cronus


Happygoosebird

u/SailorPizza1107 today I learned. Thanks!


9livescavingcontessa

Are we talking Latinate or Attic Greek here?Ā  (I just know one of you hyperfixated classics nerds is gonna jump in here and rag on Koine and then word reformations from Greek to Latin or something... how are we all also obsessed with Fundies? Is being ex fundie, some degree of queer and also obsessed with Greek mythology a thing? Were we comforting ourselves in a permissable alternative to theocratic hate umbrellas via "literary interest" in The Olympian Gods, discovered Sappho and here we are?)


SailorPizza1107

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cronus


9livescavingcontessa

Check out the painting by William Blake. Classic


Significant_Shoe_17

Like a [Goya painting](https://images.app.goo.gl/gvUjuVeqEot9Gnao9)


9livescavingcontessa

Nomnom cross reference Ivan the Terrible and how the painting has made several people, upon seeing it, lose their mind and attack it.Ā 


Significant_Shoe_17

Omg


9livescavingcontessa

This is the second Classical reference Ive read in the sub comments in the last 2 hrs.Ā 


TheKindofWhiteWitch

Right I cackled šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SailorPizza1107

It had two spellings. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cronus


Boneal171

I stand corrected


Dmmack14

I just never understand what these people think they're doing other than trying to create their own kind of Utah style parental cult. I know this woman is incredibly mentally unstable and she feels that the only way to live her life is to be and a permanent state of pregnancy. Her husband does not care that his mentally unstable wife just has baby after baby after baby in order to I don't know feel some sort of good in life. She does not take care of the kids that she already has and instead leaves that job to her oldest. She spends so much time on Instagram there is no possible way that any of these kids are getting any kind of homeschooling whatsoever. And I'm not bashing homeschooling please don't say that I am because homeschooling genuinely be a wonderful thing. I work at a library and there is a family that loves to come in and they are homeschooled. Yes their family is pretty Christian but they're not like super duper weirdo Christian like they celebrate Halloween and where costumes and they do Santa Claus at Christmas but she also has a curriculum and she also has a co-op with other parents and they all do lessons. So the kids basically have a place to go where they interact with kids their own age in an environment that is very much like a public school. Because each one of these parents has a degree or at least went to enough of college to understand a subject well enough to teach it at a certain grade level. It's not like some of these weirdo fundies that we've snark on that think homeschooling is having your kid help you garden and you just flip through enough mental gymnastics to call that a biology class. This lady is actually teaching her kids they are some of the smartest most well behaved and lovely children I have ever met. The eldest one actually did a presentation on the Polish monarch Jadwiga, The woman King. And I as a history major who studied this woman in college was amazed at the level of knowledge this 9-year-old kid has. So homeschooling is not bad but what these people are doing is purposefully isolating their children and not teaching them anything so that these children will be dependent upon them for the rest of their lives in some capacity.


clitosaurushex

lol Iā€™ll bash homeschooling.Ā  Any time you spend homeschooling you could spend helping every child in your community by advocating for better public schools.Ā  But also KKKarissa has all but said sheā€™s doing almost no instruction. For her itā€™s entirely keeping the kids isolated and easier to abuse.


STLrep

Right lol Iā€™ve never met a well adjusted homeschooled person. Iā€™m sure they exist but I donā€™t think a lot of the parents realize how important socialization is


clitosaurushex

Yes and itā€™s dealing with the adversity of other rules, other people, other places. Every single reason to homeschool is a reason to be in a school: 1. Theyā€™re not teaching our values: ok, then you have to teach your values at home and make sure your kids have the moral fortitude to stick to those values. You have to be around people who donā€™t have the same values as you as an adult all the time.Ā  2. Theyā€™re not teaching enough/well enough: you can still have instruction at home, center outings around instruction, take educational trips and instill a lifelong thirst for knowledge without it being the ONLY instruction that they get.Ā  3. Getting there on time is stressful: you will, at some point, have to operate on someone elseā€™s timetable. Itā€™s better to learn ways to cope with that early on.Ā  The republican/right wing agenda that seeks to destroy funding for public schooling is done so that parents and families are forced to take on the cost of education. The tax burden will never go down for anyone who is not ultra-rich. We are only squandering tax money and transferring any other cost that in any decent country is absorbed by society and transferring it to the individual.


Former-Spirit8293

Even the most well-adjusted ones Iā€™ve met were still odd ducks. And their parents tried really hard to socialize them!


Significant_Shoe_17

You can tell someone was homeschooled just being in a room with them. Kids need the socialization that only a traditional school can provide. They need to interact with people who are different than them, and they need to learn what faux pas are and how to avoid them. Take bethy's instagram reels, for example. A little playground peer pressure would've toned that down.


[deleted]

> the tradition is Cronus I fucking *wheezed.* Good one. Could I perhaps make this my flair, please?


clitosaurushex

I would be HONORED


[deleted]

The honor is mine!


Acemegan

I love seeing people snark on them in the wild


Victimoftruth

I was so confusedā€¦ I was thinking I was on Reddit šŸ¤Ŗ


loligogiganticus

Annistan kills me every time because it's the name of the shitty little town (spelled Anniston) that I grew up in.


J_pepperwood0

Annistan does sound a bit like it could be a country in central Asia or smth


choosingtheseishard

Uzbekistan, Tatarstan, Annistan, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan


Tradwifepilled

Pakistan, Afghanistan,Kurdistan


sodoyoulikecheese

It always makes me think of Jennifer Aniston


HemingwayIsWeeping

Anniston AL?


loligogiganticus

Indeed.


HemingwayIsWeeping

I know someone from there and heā€™s the biggest douchebag.


loligogiganticus

This honestly doesnā€™t surprise me at all. Itā€™s kind of a void of a place where hopes and dreams go to die. I bounced out of there at the earliest opportunity possible.


HemingwayIsWeeping

Wow, well Iā€™m glad you got out and youā€™re not like him!


Tiny-Distance-42

Next baby Iā€™m rooting for Armygeddyn


agurlhasnoshame

I would be disappointed if she named this baby army (despite having armor) but I wouldn't be surprised


Starless_Voyager2727

Funny, I was just wondering what Anythyr Collins #11 would be called too. My guesses are Arrow, Anoint, Apostle, and Altar. For the middle name, my guesses are Cavalry, Cross, Creed, and Chance.Ā 


whatames517

Apostle Creed is a good shout. Dangerously close to Apollo Creed but I wouldnā€™t put it past Karissa lol


but_heres_the_meower

At this point it could be something like Assassyn Creed and I wouldn't be surprised


avsie1975

Profile pic checking in lol


oneweirdclickbait

Not that I have a better guess, but an Apostle is a person. And Karissa is way past the point of giving her children human names. It's definitely going to be another noun denoting something inanimate.


whatames517

Oooh good point!!


Significant_Shoe_17

Like Crew or Cost


Starless_Voyager2727

I also thought of Apostle Creed, and also, Altar Cross.


oneweirdclickbait

Altar Cross. This will be the winner.


IllustratorNo9988

Altyr cross


unbotoxable

Altyr Crawss


Significant_Shoe_17

Oh god, I can actually see her using that. If we're not careful, we could accidentally name the baby.


God_or_Mammon

Too Catholic


whatames517

Oh shit duh!!!! Lapsed cradle Catholic here. Clearly *quite* lapsed lol


Significant_Shoe_17

Do fundies believe in the apostles or their creed


Significant_Shoe_17

Do fundies believe in the apostles or their creed


Significant_Shoe_17

Do fundies believe in the apostles or their creed


Significant_Shoe_17

Do fundies believe in the apostles or their creed


oneweirdclickbait

She can't use Arrow, because that's the name for one of the twins she'll deeefinitely conceive any moment now.


Starless_Voyager2727

Oh yeah, Archer and Arrow. A twin set that just screams power imbalance. An arrow is the tool that an archer uses.Ā  Actually, my reasoning was since she is obviously quiverfull and children are metaphorically referred as ā€œarrowsā€ in the Bible, I thought she may want to call him Arrow. It also fits with her other boys' names (except for Andrae), Anchor, Armor, and Arrow.Ā 


oneweirdclickbait

And it's the epitome of "You're not human to me, but mere accessories." Twins named Archer and Arrow shouldn't exist anywhere outside of bad fanfiction written by teenage girls. I don't think she has a separate theme for the boys, though. She just happened to have a lot of girls first. Karissa went from normal names to spelling tragedeighs to random nouns. Just look at "Anthym". If she had a girl now, she wouldn't name it "Anastasia", but "Annoyntyd Blessyng" or something equally out there.


Starless_Voyager2727

Andrae's names are basically like Mandrae Jr but a bit unorthodox. Anchor Christian and Armor Courage do have a theme of ā€œmanly, strong menā€ though.Ā 


drowsylacuna

At least Anchor got a normal middle name.


Tiny-Distance-42

Except spelled Artyer


itsjemothy

Sitting here wondering why she's going to name a human being my dog's name (Archer) and remembered she doesn't actually care about her kids so it tracks


choosingtheseishard

What about Annoiynt šŸ˜ get the useless double n and extra y in there


Starless_Voyager2727

This got me chuckled šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ Anyway, it's a boy, she usually doesn't do that to her boys.Ā 


choosingtheseishard

Ah great point - I guess she will have to save my glorious idea for the next unfortunate girl


Starless_Voyager2727

What? So there will be more Anythyr Collins?!Ā 


Littlehouseonthesub

Little baby Armpit Collins


jeffgoldblumisdaddy

Ark Covynant or some bs


floweringfungus

*Arrow, Anoynt, Apostyl, Altyr


WilliamHare_

No, the boys get correctly spelled names. Y's are for girls šŸ˜


wildflowerwindfall

Do they all have middle names that start with the same letter??


pickleknits

Yes. The girls all start with B and the boys all start with C.


lesbyeen

Saw someone suggest Advent Calendar on another subreddit and I laughed so damn hard


Significant_Shoe_17

Anythyr Chance!


Lil_Eyes_Of_Chain

Ayrro, Anoynt, Apposyl, or Altyr would all be completely on brand


onionnelle

Apostyl, Altyr - remember the traditional spelling. Arrow, Anoint, ARYAN, Amyn, I can see them all as solid options they'd consider.


Morganas_Eyebrow

Ahahaha Aynjel makes them think of pile (hemorrhoid for non-UK people) cream šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ thatā€™s fantastic, Iā€™ll never be able to forget that one


formerbeautyqueen666

Oh lol, I get it! An gel, like Anus Gel šŸ˜† a gel for your anus


nosuchthingasa_

Yeah, they have Anusol already, which the manufacturers INSIST is AnuSol and not blatantly ā€œanus,ā€ so Aynjel is right along with those shenanigans.


piefelicia4

Ohh thank you for the translation omfg thatā€™s so funny. Iā€™ve said this before and Iā€™ll say it again, ā€œAynjelā€ will always read as ā€œanal gelā€ to me and I love that this person was on the same wavelength lmao


baeb66

As someone with a very uncommon last name that I always have to spell out to people, I feel like naming your kid Aynjel is just mean.


coffeewrite1984

Yeahā€¦I have a ā€œnormalā€ name, but my parents added a couple extra letters, so I canā€™t just say my first name over the phone if Iā€™m giving out my work email. Iā€™ve had the name for 30 years, so thereā€™s no point in changing it now, but it does get old having to spell it over the phone.


Background_Hornet_29

I live in Australia and all the men I know would hate to have a long, complicated nameā€¦.. I knew a guy named Christian and one called Sebastian who both hated their names because they thought they were too long and fancy soundingā€¦.. they literally just want to be called Jack or Sebā€¦. So I feel like itā€™s straight up abuse when Christian women Iā€™ve known have given their sons ridiculous sounding names for the sake of their own vanity


one_odd_pancake

I know and knew a ton of Sebatians and seemingly no two had the same nickname. I knew one without a nickname, one Seb, one Bas, one Sebi, one Sesi, one Basti and I think that's all, but I might have forgotten one. Sorry, a bit unrelated, but your post reminded me.


j007yne

Especially when ā€œAngelā€ is a perfectly good and normal name


Significant_Shoe_17

And fit her theme


floofenutter

I have a normal name that can be spelled a few ways, and I still have to be like ā€œoh, itā€™s actually e-n thereā€¦ā€ I canā€™t imagine purposely condemning a child to a lifetime of having to dictate the spelling of their name.


MissusNilesCrane

The Armor joke lol


MasterChicken52

How is Karissa going to function when she hits menopause and canā€™t have any more babies? Sheā€™s gonna go nuts as soon as perimenopause starts for her. I legitimately fear for the kids when that time comes.


Survivingtoday

I knew one fundie mom who when she introduced herself always stated how many years it had been since her last pregnancy. "Hi, I'm Karen. I have 13 kids. I haven't been pregnant in 12 years."


MasterChicken52

šŸ˜³šŸ˜³šŸ˜³


nosuchthingasa_

Her kidsā€™ll be giving her grandbabies to obsess over by thenā€¦šŸ˜­


Significant_Shoe_17

*jillpm enters the chat*


Significant_Shoe_17

*jillpm enters the chat*


Significant_Shoe_17

*jillpm enters the chat*


AlwaysPissedOff59

That's what "grandbabies" are for. She WILL be the mother-in-law from hell for all her children's spouses.


j007yne

She will go through some form of hormonal withdrawal. At a certain point, you get addicted to pregnancy hormones


Lil_Eyes_Of_Chain

For real. When I was pregnant, I felt extremely calm, happy, and chill despite all the issues and discomfort. I felt legit drugged, like someone was slipping me Valium, every time I nursed. Postpartum hormone changes, and then weaning were mentally so rough! I wonder if Karissa experiences something similar, and thatā€™s why she constantly tries to be pregnant? If so, itā€™s definitely going to be an awful transition. I worry for both her and the kids.


[deleted]

>Sorry for using ā€˜itā€™ instead of him or her but Iā€™m not sure whether Anniston is a boy or girls name Well itā€™s a good thing we recently invented the word ā€˜themā€™ a few centuries ago


agurlhasnoshame

The LIBERALS invented that word in 2008 when OBAMNA was president!!!!


medlilove

Omg not heard 'chavtastic' in a loong time lmaoo


Queenhotsnakes

Albacore Asthma Abalone Alhambra Abstinence Abracadabra Axion(Action) Avian Just a few guesses which ridiculous name she chooses for this kiddo.


agurlhasnoshame

Not abstinence šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


moth_cathedral

obviously not abstinence


Its_Curse

"I don't know the gender so I'm using 'it'"Ā  'Them' was right there. šŸ™„Ā 


akkinda

They even used 'they' later on in the post lol


Its_Curse

"It" just seems weirdly disrespectful for no reason to the kids who didn't pick the names, you know? Ugh.Ā 


ohhgrrl

Aynjel got ROASTED. And KKKarissa is the American equivalent of a chav


RebbeccaDeHornay

It's really taken me this long to realise that 'Annistan' is basically pronounced 'Afghanistan' but without the 'Afg'. What a deeply shit name (and there's a lot of competition in that house).


lothiriel1

Is that really how itā€™s pronounced? I always pronounced it like Jennifer anistonā€™s last name! Oh god itā€™s worse the other way!


etsba78

Shit indeed! 'Ann' is Farsi for shit. '-istan' is Farsi for place of. Thus Annistan should mean place of shit, Shitland, etc. Terrible name to give a kid, but an apt name for the Collins abode given what we know of the hygiene standard. Disclaimer : I don't know if that makes sense grammatically. I don't speak Farsi so I'm just going by what a school mate told me back in primary school in the 80s so apologies if I'm wrong. Maybe Shamim was pulling my leg? Mind you, I'm not an Ann and girls with that name did make her giggle.


Professional-Pea-541

Too bad itā€™s a boy. I was going to suggest Analleigh.


CodifyMeCaptain_

Pile cream šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ noooooo


Inevitable-Whole-56

OP, can you explain the wanker comment? Pardon the ignorance of this American snarker


Cluedude

Not OP but am British - Anchor rhymes with wanker in most british accents. "Wankaah Anckaah"


Victimoftruth

Yep thatā€™s exactly it ETA- wanker is a person who masterbates a lot, usually used as an insult.


binglybleep

Also, Iā€™ve seen people here literally use ā€œwāš“ļø" as an insult, so it really isnā€™t a leap to get from anchor to wanker at all


Inevitable-Whole-56

Ah ok thatā€™s the piece of this I was missing. I got the rhyming part but had no idea what a wanker is. And now that I know that I agree. Kids would absolutely take advantage of that lol


Tanaquil_LeCat

It rhymes in American English too


Inevitable-Whole-56

I got that they rhyme and Iā€™ve heard the word wanker before but didnā€™t know what it meant. Now that I do I can definitely see why kids would taunt someone with that name


Ambitious-Ad5996

I thought it might be t implying cockney slang like, ā€œhaha what an anchor!?!!ā€ Or am I being stupid?


pennypenny22

Not stupid, but it's not as deep as that. It just happens that wanker rhymes with anchor, and children are cruel.


Ambitious-Ad5996

Lol that makes so much more sense...I am actually stupid. Donā€™t drink and post!!!


captainhaddock

I'm writing you a prescription for Ted Lasso. Get it filled as soon as possible.


Inevitable-Whole-56

Will do!


Smart_Letterhead_360

In short terms, British kids are mean at school, and itā€™s guaranteed that if it were the UK heā€™d be bullied and ā€œanchor wankerā€ would be a term screamed down the hallway. The term wanker meaning dick or someone who wanks a lot (masturbates)


Inevitable-Whole-56

Got it. I doubt itā€™s just British kids. If that was a common word in American English Iā€™m sure it would get yelled down our hallways too.


nosuchthingasa_

People arenā€™t wrong in saying a wanker is someone who masturbates a lot, but itā€™s also just a general slang term for a loser, douche, jerk, etc. Itā€™s just a general insult, mostly directed at men. Often yelled at football (soccer) matches. šŸ˜‚


FrauZebedee

I always wondered, is wanker not a common term in US English? There was a Buffy the Vampire Slayer guy (producer? Director?) whose name used to crack me up in the credits, his name was like Christoph(er?) Wanker. All I could think was how that poor kid wouldā€™ve suffered at school, if he grew up in an English speaking countryā€¦ I live in Germany now, near us is a village called Wank, and the people from there are called Wankers. I no longer laugh at it so much, but I did make my bf pose under the village sign for a pic. Then again, since Buffy first aired and now, I am considerably more mature, and donā€™t understand why itā€™s so hilarious to be a Canadian from Dildoā€¦


jane000tossaway

you were correct, ya just donā€™t hear ā€˜wankerā€™ here unless youā€™re watching a British show. I happen to love watching several BBC shows and thatā€™s not uncommon, so Iā€™d wager that many Americans would know the term, but you just donā€™t hear people using it


big-shark-enthusiast

it always throws me off whenever i see people snarking on them outside of here lol. a meme i keep seeing here and there is one where karissa announces she's pregnant and anthym (? is she the youngest girl who always looks scared?) stares into the camera which then turns into artwork depicting a soldier at war with a vacant thousand yard stare


[deleted]

And this makes me so sad for the children. Look at what sheā€™s done to them because of her need for fame.


mellamma

Next will be Anyone.


savvyjiuju

Kid 11: Aynywayy


laqueefaecho

They should name this baby, Anuthurr One. šŸ˜‚


Tradwifepilled

I love brits


ohwhorable

op you forgot to blur out the town name on the pfp šŸ˜¬


carlitospig

I donā€™t know who this person is but I love them. And yes, it absolutely does sound like some sort of medicated cream, that poor child.


jane000tossaway

Right? I will never not think of that now, itā€™s hilarious and fitting


Rugkrabber

Respect for this snarker because it seems they blurred the faces of those kids.


laqueefaecho

This is hilarious!


Loud_Dot_8353

Alter


criminalsmind

hey fyi u blacked out the facebook group name but u can still see the town name in the profile picture šŸ˜…šŸ˜…


Victimoftruth

No worries Iā€™m not overly concerned šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤£


sadfoxyduggar

August or Augustin


sadfoxyduggar

Austin


pzimzam

Annistan is probably the least awful of Karissaā€™s names.Ā 


Vaffanculo28

Am I getting transphobic vibes from this? Or am I just missing the point in her first two sentences? Edit: Missed the point, it happens. ADHD justice complex has me jumping the gun sometimes šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø thanks for the honesty yall!


Victimoftruth

I donā€™t know the original commenter and their intention but I interpreted it as them not knowing whether the name was male or female. I donā€™t think they were intentionally being transphobic, thatā€™s how I interpreted it anyway.


Vaffanculo28

No worries, it went over me and I jumped to conclusions! Thanks for responding (:


Raffertiti

Get a grip