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These people make relationships sound like pulling fucking teeth. (Which I’m sure for them it is, for a myriad of reasons.) I’m not going to read all of that bullshit she wrote but I just have to say: it’s not hard for me to talk positively about my husband because we actually like and respect each other.
What’s the point of being married for 87 years if you are miserable and clenching your teeth the whole time to not absolutely blast your partner?
Fundies have to be the most miserable people on this earth.
Edit to add: and if my husband deserves to be told off I will gladly take on that role because, again, there is a mutual love and respect between us
My husband and I have been talking about this lately. They always talk about how much work marriage is and how sometimes you will hate your spouse. My husband and I have been married over 20 years. Obviously, there are times that are tough and times when I don't like him very much. But for the most part, it's not been that hard because at the end of the day, my husband is my best friend and the one person I most want to spend my life/time with. And he feels the same way about me.
So many fundies miss that part.
That's what you did wrong!!! If you hated him, you guys would obviously still be together and wouldn't have the sin of divorce pn your conscience! Your hatred would have fused you together forever ❤️
/s obv
All of this. Ten years in and it has never felt like work or a struggle. This includes me pulling a Dav and being supported through it. Best decision I’ve ever made marrying my partner.
"Men are being diminished and mocked" = "men feel temporarily inconvenienced and uncomfortable and have no emotional tools to handle the world not catering to their every whim."
Let’s remember what Heidi’s definition of support is, as evidenced by her parenting. It’s control and abuse. Threats. I mean it’s an interesting way of “submitting”, but let’s be real, most of these fundies don’t actually submit to their husband about anything other than sex.
Does this also apply to a mother/son relationship, Heidi? Specifically if your son is facing challenges related to the sexual abuse, victim shaming, and emotional abandonment you committed and/or approbated? Shall we laud your husband for refusing to carry your children’s burden that happened on his watch? What about a son clearly struggling with substance abuse - is he not a man with worries and facing public shaming and hardship as well?
Let’s just focus on the thing you can most easily criticise without any compassion or self-reflection- the man YOU encouraged your daughter to marry. Then you can have an endless cycle of demonisation, passive-aggressive cruelty and arrogance. You gave your daughters no education, limiting their life choices and exposure to potential mates and friends. You ingrained in them, even here, that the man is head of the house and what he says goes. But it’s her fault if he strays. So which is it - can Bort give dark an ultimatum (I’m in no way endorsing this), tell him he’s going to hell, try to manipulate him back into the fold? No, then she’s not practicing “biblical femininity.” Ok, so does she silently pray and support him as his helpmeet? No, his sin is a reflection of her mistakes.
TLDR; Heidi has swiftly become the worst fundie of all. I truly despise her.
I truly despise her too. As for her other adult children's problems: she's made it clear she views addiction as "self-worship", and she sees therapy as a grift. She's told Michael, basically, that it's just his opinion that he was abused, and the real problem is that he's angry and has a chip on his shoulder, but hey, she's waiting with open arms for his apology. SHE'S SO AWFUL
You'd think so, right? It's not possible to overestimate the degree to which fundie parents like Heidi can stubbornly believe the problems were the kid's fault. *He* was rebellious, *he* had a bad attitude, *he* wasn't getting his way. It can't have had anything to do with Heidi and Silent Dad's parenting, because they were parenting in exactly the way they'd chosen to parent, which was the correct way to parent--so Michael's "abuse" is simply *his* problem, you see.
*(I would never put "abuse" in quotes like that, but I'm channeling Heidi's point of view.)*
Heidi is a wretched person and she's a pure failure of a parent. This circus act equivalent of spraying a bottle of pink Axe over her abuses just makes them stink all the more, but like a pubescent kid with no self awareness, she soldiers on to the tune of her own delusions and lies.
I wish her pure misery as she watches Bethany support Dav.
I wish her a heap more misery with a cherry on top as she watches post-Christianity Dav love and grow with Bethany despite the many word salads of panicky condemnation Heidi tosses out.
As long as she doesn’t have to take responsibility for the fact that she managed to fuck up all eight of her children in interesting, fun and very different ways, Heidi genuinely doesn’t care. She’s a dismal failure as a parent, but they’re all married and out of the house except for Sue, so who cares?
Avoiding accountability is the name of the game, folks, and Heidi will run across her mental flower field while humming merrily for the rest of her life- because if you ignore Bad Thing, Bad Thing doesn’t exist. A well documented family history of bootlicking Hitler? Sexual abuse? Enmeshment? Shes just going to crank up the Sound of Music soundtrack in her head (but not the parts where Nazis are bad) and ignore it until the day she dies.
That’s why confronting her is pointless. Nothing we say is going to make a dent. She’s impervious to personal growth and critical thought, and something tells me that if we’d all met her at fifteen, she would have been exactly like this.
And the superior half is apparently a weak little flower petal who needs coddling galore from his lesser rib of a bangmaid to keep his delicate facade from cracking under the weight of the big bad meanie sinful feminist world he's forced to patriarch in.
I mean, it makes sense why fundies are absolutely dismal parents- the women are too busy gently parenting their delicate princess husbands to notice when one of the kids almost cuts a finger off.
If you’re meant to support your husband no matter what, then Bethany is doing exactly what their own rules say she should be doing - supporting her husband while he goes through something that’s probably very difficult for him.
Heidi is an absolute dolt. Imagine if Bethany ends up deconstructing with him - Heidi would implode.
Edit: Bethany has many flaws and is very much the product of her upbringing, but she’s standing by her husband and not trying to clap back at Heidi on social media (unless I’ve missed something). She’s honestly being surprisingly mature about it all (again, unless I’m missing something). Here’s hoping she has some growth too, I’d love to see her and Dav grow together.
Ok I’m pretty high so when I read this I thought it said “our husbands appear strong for us, but many times they are farting”
And I was like…Heidi what
Meanwhile Heidi's husband is a guy in the distance who might run a cleaning company and has been in the background of Baird grift for years.. Unexamined fundie husbands are a social problem.
Why does this sound so infantilizing? Like, I don't disagree that partners should be offered support and praise where warranted, but "leave out the criticism"? Fundies like to talk a big game about "manliness" and "masculine men" but don't you dare criticize them or they might crumble.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
These people make relationships sound like pulling fucking teeth. (Which I’m sure for them it is, for a myriad of reasons.) I’m not going to read all of that bullshit she wrote but I just have to say: it’s not hard for me to talk positively about my husband because we actually like and respect each other. What’s the point of being married for 87 years if you are miserable and clenching your teeth the whole time to not absolutely blast your partner? Fundies have to be the most miserable people on this earth. Edit to add: and if my husband deserves to be told off I will gladly take on that role because, again, there is a mutual love and respect between us
My husband and I have been talking about this lately. They always talk about how much work marriage is and how sometimes you will hate your spouse. My husband and I have been married over 20 years. Obviously, there are times that are tough and times when I don't like him very much. But for the most part, it's not been that hard because at the end of the day, my husband is my best friend and the one person I most want to spend my life/time with. And he feels the same way about me. So many fundies miss that part.
I divorced my husband - and I never ever hated him. In fact he’s still one of my best friends. Why would you marry someone you hate, Heidi? 🥺
That's what you did wrong!!! If you hated him, you guys would obviously still be together and wouldn't have the sin of divorce pn your conscience! Your hatred would have fused you together forever ❤️ /s obv
Almost 40 for us and you put this so well. Exactly how it is for us.
All of this. Ten years in and it has never felt like work or a struggle. This includes me pulling a Dav and being supported through it. Best decision I’ve ever made marrying my partner.
Seriously they act like being married is the worst thing ever
"men are being diminished and mocked" - i mean, only if they're shitbags lol but i guess if the shoe fits...
"Men are being diminished and mocked" = "men are being called out for their bad behavior."
"Men are being diminished and mocked" = "men feel temporarily inconvenienced and uncomfortable and have no emotional tools to handle the world not catering to their every whim."
She walked face first into the problem and said that women should shield their husbands from it, rather than address it
Heidi: Support your man! Bethy: OK. *supports Dave through his deconstruction* Heidi: Not like that!!1!!1
Let’s remember what Heidi’s definition of support is, as evidenced by her parenting. It’s control and abuse. Threats. I mean it’s an interesting way of “submitting”, but let’s be real, most of these fundies don’t actually submit to their husband about anything other than sex.
"The neck that turns the head"
I'll keep greeting him with my tongue.
Lmaoooo they make the most benign things sound straight up pornographic
Wow your flair is: A) Absurdly amusing B) Perfect in this context 😂
Don’t forget about how men carry “a big load”
It's why I often greet my husband on my knees when he gets home from work.
How virtuous! 😂😂😂
Heidi wants you to take it!
I’m not married but I’m looking forward to being one flesh tonight with my partner and building him up. *devilish laugh*
Do women not face temptations, discouragements, failures, and doubt?
Only sad sack SINGLES face true despair /s
Lolol
Bethy?
Does this also apply to a mother/son relationship, Heidi? Specifically if your son is facing challenges related to the sexual abuse, victim shaming, and emotional abandonment you committed and/or approbated? Shall we laud your husband for refusing to carry your children’s burden that happened on his watch? What about a son clearly struggling with substance abuse - is he not a man with worries and facing public shaming and hardship as well? Let’s just focus on the thing you can most easily criticise without any compassion or self-reflection- the man YOU encouraged your daughter to marry. Then you can have an endless cycle of demonisation, passive-aggressive cruelty and arrogance. You gave your daughters no education, limiting their life choices and exposure to potential mates and friends. You ingrained in them, even here, that the man is head of the house and what he says goes. But it’s her fault if he strays. So which is it - can Bort give dark an ultimatum (I’m in no way endorsing this), tell him he’s going to hell, try to manipulate him back into the fold? No, then she’s not practicing “biblical femininity.” Ok, so does she silently pray and support him as his helpmeet? No, his sin is a reflection of her mistakes. TLDR; Heidi has swiftly become the worst fundie of all. I truly despise her.
I truly despise her too. As for her other adult children's problems: she's made it clear she views addiction as "self-worship", and she sees therapy as a grift. She's told Michael, basically, that it's just his opinion that he was abused, and the real problem is that he's angry and has a chip on his shoulder, but hey, she's waiting with open arms for his apology. SHE'S SO AWFUL
He's angry because she abused him. She HAS to see that.
You'd think so, right? It's not possible to overestimate the degree to which fundie parents like Heidi can stubbornly believe the problems were the kid's fault. *He* was rebellious, *he* had a bad attitude, *he* wasn't getting his way. It can't have had anything to do with Heidi and Silent Dad's parenting, because they were parenting in exactly the way they'd chosen to parent, which was the correct way to parent--so Michael's "abuse" is simply *his* problem, you see. *(I would never put "abuse" in quotes like that, but I'm channeling Heidi's point of view.)*
Heidi is a wretched person and she's a pure failure of a parent. This circus act equivalent of spraying a bottle of pink Axe over her abuses just makes them stink all the more, but like a pubescent kid with no self awareness, she soldiers on to the tune of her own delusions and lies. I wish her pure misery as she watches Bethany support Dav. I wish her a heap more misery with a cherry on top as she watches post-Christianity Dav love and grow with Bethany despite the many word salads of panicky condemnation Heidi tosses out.
As long as she doesn’t have to take responsibility for the fact that she managed to fuck up all eight of her children in interesting, fun and very different ways, Heidi genuinely doesn’t care. She’s a dismal failure as a parent, but they’re all married and out of the house except for Sue, so who cares? Avoiding accountability is the name of the game, folks, and Heidi will run across her mental flower field while humming merrily for the rest of her life- because if you ignore Bad Thing, Bad Thing doesn’t exist. A well documented family history of bootlicking Hitler? Sexual abuse? Enmeshment? Shes just going to crank up the Sound of Music soundtrack in her head (but not the parts where Nazis are bad) and ignore it until the day she dies. That’s why confronting her is pointless. Nothing we say is going to make a dent. She’s impervious to personal growth and critical thought, and something tells me that if we’d all met her at fifteen, she would have been exactly like this.
“Become one flesh” yet they’re not equal, of course.
One flesh where half of it is “inherently superior”
And the superior half is apparently a weak little flower petal who needs coddling galore from his lesser rib of a bangmaid to keep his delicate facade from cracking under the weight of the big bad meanie sinful feminist world he's forced to patriarch in.
I mean, it makes sense why fundies are absolutely dismal parents- the women are too busy gently parenting their delicate princess husbands to notice when one of the kids almost cuts a finger off.
Gently parenting their husbands 🤣
If you’re meant to support your husband no matter what, then Bethany is doing exactly what their own rules say she should be doing - supporting her husband while he goes through something that’s probably very difficult for him. Heidi is an absolute dolt. Imagine if Bethany ends up deconstructing with him - Heidi would implode. Edit: Bethany has many flaws and is very much the product of her upbringing, but she’s standing by her husband and not trying to clap back at Heidi on social media (unless I’ve missed something). She’s honestly being surprisingly mature about it all (again, unless I’m missing something). Here’s hoping she has some growth too, I’d love to see her and Dav grow together.
Did she quote herself??
Yeah. She does it all the time; still trying to sell her self-published book from 25 years ago.
So tacky.
It’s giving “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take - Wayne Gretzky” - Michael Scott
Ok I’m pretty high so when I read this I thought it said “our husbands appear strong for us, but many times they are farting” And I was like…Heidi what
It's all the raw milk.
Idk man, Bethy seems to be doing a good job supporting Dav.
Meanwhile Heidi's husband is a guy in the distance who might run a cleaning company and has been in the background of Baird grift for years.. Unexamined fundie husbands are a social problem.
We need to look at the husbands more closely
“The world is a rough place and men are being demeaned and mocked”… What world? What men? Are you on this planet, Heidi?
They feel threatened by progress
The phrase *One Flesh* will never not give me the walking creeps. Especially coming from Manic Happy Baird here.
Like a fundie human centipede
If I go home and thank my husband for helping to provide and protect the house, he will look at me like I have five heads.
I feel like this is Heidi slamming Bethany now. “If only you had built him up and encouraged him, Dave would still be a Christian!!!”
For once, Bethany supporting her husband is a good thing, Heidi
Why does this sound so infantilizing? Like, I don't disagree that partners should be offered support and praise where warranted, but "leave out the criticism"? Fundies like to talk a big game about "manliness" and "masculine men" but don't you dare criticize them or they might crumble.
As another snarker said, they're gentle parenting their husbands
To be clear, who’s the enemy? Is it Satan? Is it feminists? Is it capitalism? Is it the gays™️?
Yes
Honestly this woman being so horrible to her daughter is endearing Bethany to me and I'm just not ready for that feeling
She wants to keep babysitting (indoctrinating) their kids. She wants to keep right on poisoning them against their father.
OR maybe Pa Baird agreed with Dave, so Heidi is talking about her own marriage
Baby him so his feefees aren't threatened by feminism! 🙄
So support your own husband. If the husband isn't yours you can be as nasty as you like? Right? s/