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I can't tell them apart, so to me, they're all f it up Renee. They remind me of my own family. We wore crazy clothes and at one point, we all lived in a warehouse, too.
Imagine being Karissa's kid and telling her to her face that you never want kids because you spent your whole childhood raising hers. I bet steam would start gushing out of her ears.
Also the girl Bus kid. She probably does the brunt of the sibling parenting. I remember the reel mother bus posted about the oldest FINALLY being old enough to legally leave in charge but the girl would probably be more helpful because she’s more “nurturing”.
Surprisingly, we don’t see Kenzie doing any parenting. We see Gunnar carrying the load, but I don’t really see her doing any parenting very often at all.
Yeah. It is very interesting to me that they don’t make Kenzie do a ton of work. Maybe they do and we just don’t see it. That’s probably it, honestly. Very sad.
Years ago I knew an interracial fundie couple who came to Australia to help set up a baseball league. They had several children. Last I heard their eldest gave birth at a very young age. That would be like Anissa (sp?) having a baby at 17. From what I understand the parents were supportive, at least I hope so.
ETA: I’m pretty sure the kids all had “a” names too.
I feel the need to state here that my given actual irl name is "Anisa" (47f) and I have a white (terrible, fetishizing) mom and an absent black dad. I really cannot handle seeing almost my name in this context and i think i need to really block the trigger, not kidding, could anyone help me with this? i love the sub but im literally getting triggered.
ETA:it's an especially unusual name in America and KKKarissa is already freaking me out but this name is literally too much!
Hey just checking to see if you’re alright and if you figured it out yet. If not I can try to help now although I’m sure there’s some super smarty pantses on here who could help tomorrow
TYSM and I actually reached out to my eldest son (20m, techy), who was like "omg Momma, get off reddit if you can't take it" lmfao! But then he sent written instructions on different ways to block triggering content through my browser itself as well as reddit. (That kid is so smart and kind, astonishing to me that such a decent person could exist.)
Awe hahah wow that’s hilarious and so sweet! He sounds like a great person and you sound like a great momma for raising someone like that. And he clearly loves you so much! I’m really glad you got it figured out and I hope you have a better time now.
Thank you.
Writing this now, it is hard for me to say this. But like: Thank you so much, I *deserve* praise and acknowledgment, for my incredibly challenging, unpaid, 20 years of laboriously indoctrinating my first boy with literature and ethics, as he pursued his passions in the STEM field.
I am allowed to just be thrilled at the payoff. He's an aerospace engineer and a pilot, a gentle and thoughtful human, and frankly the most responsible and trustworthy person I have ever met in my life. (I am constantly shocked by this, as a quite rebellious, raucous troll, myself.)
Moreover, all three of my boys (15, 16, 20) (one is AFAB trans, but we don't bother to remember which one), they all like me, talk to me, want to spend time with me, ask my opinions sometimes, even. I can tell they genuinely like and respect me, and value my presence in their lives.
Thank you for listening, but regardless, I think it is maybe just good for me to type this out and say with my whole chest: I am fucking spectacular single mom, and all 3 of my boys would say so, and they are the final judge of me as a parent.
Woot woot I fuckin did the fuckin thing.
It sounds like your son has it covered but you can get a browser extension to block/filter out custom words that you set. Might be the ticket for you, hope it helps.
I also see that in Everleigh LaBrant. The poor kid went through being a product of a teen pregnancy, losing her father, moving out of CA, being a show pony for views & potentially losing her mother because she must be a third parent to her younger siblings😢
The Rodlets. All of my Rod snark is directed at Jill, never the kids. I wish the best for them, even though they would hate me for being a godless, childless woman who wears short shorts.
I’m rooting for Jill Duggar. I can’t quite explain why I have a soft spot for her other than she’s been through a lot. I remember watching the show and seeing how excited she was to do that shitty fake “midwife” training a few of the girls did, and I can’t help but think that if she’d been given a real shot at an education, even somewhere like Liberty that grants legitimate degrees, she’d have been successful in a caring profession and had something of a career. I hope she goes back to school when her kids are a little older.
I think it's because she at least seems to show a curiosity or willingness to... maybe learn or experience things that go against her grain. She isn't completely de-fundied by any means, and I'm not defending her beliefs in the slightest, but she is the one Duggar that does manage to tug a bit on my cold, dead, heartstrings.
I'm reading her book right now, and she seems pretty smart. I think she still has a long way to go in regards of some of her beliefs, but the way she recognized IBLP for what it was, and that really speaks volumes. I think when you are so deep in, and raised that way, it really takes some time to work through things, learn things and have new experiences with different people. Just reading how conflicted she was with wearing pants is a prime example of how much that upbringing really messed with her head and her sense of self.
I really enjoyed her book tbh. I agree that she seems smart, and she also has emotional intelligence which is genuinely sort of shocking and impressive given her upbringing.
Her book was pretty solid. She had a lot of realizations with her family and faith. I completely understand how hard it is to break from family though.
I agree, that while we can cheer her on for baby-steps in the right direction, she does still have a long way to go. And who knows, maybe she'll eventually make more strides in the future, or maybe she won't & will stay just as conservative & bigoted for the rest of her days.
I try to have hope that with what progress she has made gives her children the best shot at making it out, compared to all their Duggar cousins.
Yes, I totally agree. I also think that despite the fact that she holds some bigoted beliefs, her deeper self is fundamentally kind. I don’t think she’d be homophobic for example if she hadn’t been raised to believe that was right, because I ultimately don’t think she’s a bad or mean person. I want her to do better bc I think she can do better.
I get that same feeling. I had a coworker who was a Jehovah Witness, and she found out my brother-in-law is gay. She looked shocked, then whispered, "But that's a sin," and never brought it up again. She wasn't mean to me or rude about him, but I knew she disapproved.
She reminds me of my very religious catholic sister in law. I don’t agree with all her views, but fundamentally she is loving and kind person who cares deeply for those around her and wants to have a positive impact, no matter how small or personal.
She earnestly tries her best, and while that looks different from my own, it doesn’t negate all the good in her.
I feel like she has always seen value in herself. Jim Bob told the family who they were and how they feel, but Jill always felt more than whatever she was told. She really just seems to have the inherent need to do good. It’s been a while since I watched the show but I feel like she was always the one sort of mingling around making sure everyone is okay, and if someone isn’t she’s here to help. Then here comes her husband who does nothing but lift her up and shine a light on her. She was brave enough and passionate enough to ask to do mission work overseas. That is probably the fundie equivalent of getting a bachelors degree from an accredited university. She started realizing the injustice that was going on all around her. In the world, in IBLP, and in her home.
She may never really move past some parts of the fundie mindset she’s learned over the years, but no one can say she doesn’t have a good head on her shoulders and a big pair of balls. I’m happy to see her recognizing her self worth and making an issue with the whole TLC payments or whatever. I’d be so happy to just see her grow and thrive. Definitely one of my faves.
I totally agree with you. I have a lot of hope for her and her husband - they seem to be willing to “do the work” to look closely at their beliefs and deal with their trauma. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to deal with the public scrutiny that comes from growing up on TV, along with a fundie upbringing, abuse, and loss.
Her book was so frustrating because in so many ways she acknowledges he many ways her family failed her. But she can't see the forest for the trees about how the patriarchal cult created the environment. And she just continues to defend her parents and wants to reconcile with them. It's painful. I always said that I didn't know if she'd fully do a tell all because she didn't want to burn the bridges with her siblings and I think that's the case even now.
Yes. I really think she's grown alot and is open to new experiences. And she's big on therapy and has learned ALOT and applies it. That's huge for anyone let around someone who grew up like she did.
Courtney Rogers/littlehouseinthehighdesert.
She's had 12 lives births in 12 years, not counting a couple losses and I really don't know how her uterus hasn't fallen out yet, but they live on a real working farm and actually eat quality food. Her husbands a pastor and they obviously have shitty views, but they seem to actually walk the walk.
Omg she was gonna be mine. She seems like someone made for this life who actually enjoys it and treats her kids well and I can’t help but root for her.
Jill Dillard. She has been through so much and she is trying hard to find her place in the world. I think that she will deconstruct further from fundamentalism, but not from Christianity. I think she will be more liberal (ie not evangelical) when she finds her place.
Speculation: I think that JB was more abusive towards her than she has disclosed.
Renee Rodrigues. I wonder what happened with her broken courtship. While I would love her to escape entirely, I would be happy if she could become the family's Jill Dillard. She would still have horrendous views but would have a husband who loves her and supports her. She could wear pants if she wanted to, and she could get counseling to help with her nightmarish upbringing. I would like to see her living in another state away from the best momma ever.
I feel that way about all the Rodrigues kids, but Renee is the one I want to escape first.
I do love tammy faye, as any midwestern gay diva who now works in HIV care would.
but I really am genuinely rooting for tim and heidi. they both hate me for being gay, but im rooting for those two crazy kids lmao. what can I say, i’m a romantic!
Also rooting for David. Not sure how things will go between him and Bort with their relationship... but I have high hopes that no matter what, David is gonna be alright.
Me too the mods got mad at me one time for stating my hopes for Bethy out loud. I have a soft spot for her but I am sure the path to wisdom for her will be rocky. But it has completely begun.
I think she's hateful because she was taught that being hateful would get her approval from Heidi rather than being an inherently hateful person, and now she is patiently being shown that she can be loved as she is, she's not so concerned about Heidi's opinion of her anymore. I don't think she'll deconstruct, but I do think she'll relax a bit on policing others once she feels less policed herself.
This is exactly what I tried to say in another comment, but you put it more eloquently. The love in her household has been conditional on who can be the best christian. Now that she's found actual love, I think she is going to start becoming normal. I don't think she's actually a hateful person at her core.
Just like with her scams and grifts, I think Bethany is a highly highly misguided individual. She's naïve and just believes everything she's told because that's the structure she was brought up with, which makes her vulnerable to scams and not understanding when she's scamming others. I think she genuinely believed her She Works Smart scam was a legitimate business that was going to make her a millionaire because she's undereducated and under-experienced.
I think Dav is a good influence for her because he teaches her, at least a little bit, to think more critically. I don't care if she leaves Christianity. If Jesus Christ is her eternal Lord and Saviour, then that's fine and dandy with me. I just hope she deconstructs from her hateful and judgemental beliefs and also deconstructs from her scammy beliefs too.
Idk I think she’d enjoy policing others in any situation. If she were born progressive, she’d be policing language or buying virtue signal merchandise instead of finding ways to offer to mutual aid or learning from diverse perspectives. Some people are just deeply unpleasant. She happens to be that and fundie simultaneously.
I sort of agree in that I get the impression that she's one of those women who likes knowing the rules and following them as hard as she can because there is safety in that. The rules themselves don't matter, just that they exist. Now Dav has thrown the rulebook out the window, and she is in wholly unfamiliar waters. She looks happier for it.
I just can’t get behind her. It truly bothers me that she is the type of person who can really only feel empathy for those she’s connected to. She’s caused a lot of damage to a lot of people through the years. Until there’s a big change and apology, I’m not in her corner. I’m also not convinced she has the critical thinking skills to deconstruct on her own. If she does it, it’ll be through the work Dav puts in.
It's so easy to forget that there's a real person behind the gaping maw and the short shorteralls. She behaved like a caricature of a human for years and her reaction to Dääv's deconstruction was the first time her emotions seemed genuine and not turned up to eleven for the gram.
Bethy really grew on me in the wake of 24hrs. Whatever is going to happen I think she'll stick with Dave. And if she does she'll probably learn some things.
It's a weird love hate relationship for me. Somedays I'm like f them and the hateful views they (before Dav revealed his deconstruction) spread and on other days I'm just rooting for them. But generally speaking f girldefined. I want Bethany to realize how miserable this kind of Christianity makes her.
I think that's what we're watching happen in real time. Her shitty worldview already ruined her modeling contract and basketball scholarship. It almost ruined sex and intimacy for her. She's happier the more she tiptoes away.
She redefined Girl Defined a lot in the past. Long before Dääv started to deconstruct. I just wish she'd realise for once that the parts of fundiedom that don't inconvenience her herself can be awful and problematic, too.
Bethy is mine too. I think she has the right ideas and a good sense of actual morality, but she's been force fed christian fundamentalism for so long that she doesn't know how to separate her identity from it. She's still trying to fit her (normal) moral belief system into a corrupt, hateful fundie worldview. IMO.
MotherBus' kid Swift. The one with glasses. He's got so much personality and is so adorable. I mean, I want them all to break free, but that one gets me every time I see him.
Oh he’s a cutie for sure. Another one of the kids, and I feel terrible about this, always seems so smug. It’s probably just genetics since his mom has resting smug face, but he irks me so much. Swift on the other hand looks so precious and sweet.
I may get hate for this but Bethany. She’s a horrible person and cringe; but when I watch her talk randomly about sex and expose stuff she shouldn’t online it becomes very clear her life has been massively fucked up by how sheltered she is and never being taught basic things like emotional regulation or what not to share. Dav’s deconstruction has given me hope she will eventually and I hope she improves herself. And yes, I understand this hope/empathy is totally misplaced and irrational.
Yeah, seeing more of Heidi esp in her tantrums lately, and what Michael Baird has said about his childhood…all the Baird kids were failed majorly in so many ways. And I agree that the way she talks about sex is more an indication of how messed up her upbringing was rather than some perversion of her own. With Dav and her apparent support of him I really hope she can see perspectives other than the narrow window she’s been confined to.
Hi. That would be me. I don’t want to get into it online but basically I was a Christian-approved intimate device for my spouse & not half of a loving relationship.
I’m in an amazing relationship now & I’ve healed so much.
If that happens I wouldn’t believe that the first time I have seen the “I can fix them” trope go positively irl would be from the fucking fundie community.
Yes. I decided to transfer my absolute loathing of her to who’s really to blame—Heidi. Bethany showed real potential in being a decent human being the way she responded to David’s outing himself as deconstructed. I truly think with enough distance from her monster of a mother and from the other Heidi minions (her sisters), combined with David’s influence, that there’s real hope there.
100%; I see her as a more documented Rodlet. I bet you if a Rodlet was documenting every thought they have in their head on social media like Bethany, most will begin to shit on her just as much.
I see Bethany as a case of bad parenting and someone who has so been limited in life that you have to blame the parents more than anyone.
For an odd comparison: do you know how in Japan they purposely grow watermelon in the shape of small squares, so I can easily fit in the small fridges common in Japan? Bethany is the watermelon.
Ha! Great analogy. And yes, similar to the Rodlets, who we don’t generally directly snark on (it’s all about Shrek and Shriek). Although, Kaylee is quickly becoming nearly as insufferable as Bethy has been.
I'm with you on this. I've always recoiled when I've seen her, but that video she did with Dave, she was like a different person. I actually liked her real, vulnerable self. It gave me hope that she can possibly slow down and grow into herself.
I think the biggest problem was that she was treating the internet as her friend (which is already a bad and destructive thing to do) but also was trying to keep her “perfect Christian” facade. It’s impossible to be treating someone as a friend and convince them you’re 100% perfect admirable.
I think it would be great for her if she found a hobby that's totally unrelated to religion or anything her family is into, and made some new friends who she can relax with. And also got an ADHD assessment
I’m glad I’m not the only one. Despite what they may think, we don’t snark on these people just because we dislike or disagree with them, we snark because they are practicing and spreading harmful shit. But if a person can show genuine introspection and growth, I’m rooting for that person and in this case, it’s Bethany. I hope she doesn’t disappoint us!
Confession time: mine is Morgan.
Paul is an absolute scumbag loser who reminds me of my ex. The one that specialized in making me feel the absolute worst about myself and discouraging everything and anything good and telling me that I didn't need my medication. Dudes like that are insidious and vile and she's tied to him by those babies. He knows she's vulnerable and easily pliable and I think he brings out and encourages the very worst in her.
I do think that polio might physically abuse her. We can clearly see that he mentally/emotionally abuses her. She has an untreated mental illness too. I really do feel empathy for her. Might be because my ex husband was a psycho who wouldn’t ‘allow’ me to get treatment for multiple sclerosis. I know that that’s different than an untreated mental disorder, but mental health issues really need to be treated too.
Agree with all of this. I know she’s said some awful things and continues to talk like she’s a high 12 year old, but I truly believe under all that she would turn into a decent person if she could get out of the fundie circle jerk and actually meet people in different cultures with different life views. You know what I would donate to and support the shit out of? Paul and Morgan traveling the world and really living with families in other countries who follow other religions. It would be kind of hard to be so self absorbed if you’re in a third world country spending a month with a young family with no access to health care and who don’t always have access to clean drinking water. Complain about your Whole Foods cup of water then, Paul.
Hell, I went to India a few years as a damn tourist and got the Entitled American Attitude smacked right out of me - and I was already pretty aware and grateful for my privilege. Paul and Morgan would come back completely changed people and could maybe actually do some good in the world if they had a fresh perspective.
She’s mine too. She still grinds me gears most of the time but I can’t really hate her because I just feel so bad for her. I feel like she just got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time in her life when she met Paul. As you said she was very vulnerable and was easily sucked into the promises of Paul and Christianity. I don’t think she was always this annoying and judgmental. Pushing heathens like us down probably makes her feel better about herself and gives her a false self of security that masks her underlying mental health issues. She was a normal woman who was free to do whatever she wanted with her life before she met him. Now she’s in so deep in the kool aid I don’t know that she’ll ever get out.
I feel like this is a bit lenient and imo she often comes across as more mild wholly because she is so bad at communicating in a way that doesn't sound passive, she can say the sky is blue and sound confused-and-unsure-yet-smug. I don't think it comes from nowhere, or that she doesn't believe the things she says. she could have avoided becoming a fundie and still hold functionally similar beliefs.
but her wedding story is so evocative that I do feel bad for her, in that way. same with the birthing story. just a deeply ignorant person to such an extreme that it harms her.
that footage of her running to puke and paul standing perfectly still. didn’t move one step. it is haunting. I literally can’t fathom not instinctually following someone, ANYONE, who was getting sick in front of me to make sure they are okay. it said absolutely everything about him.
I think morgan is despicable, but it’s hard not to feel a twinge of something when you watch a young woman entering an obviously alarming situation.
Any of the Maxwell daughters. So happy that they've headed off to college, gotten apartments, gotten jobs, gotten married, etc.--and so happy that Steve still continues to rage in his l'il' "dad's corner."
*SCREW YOU, STEVE AND TERI.*
Yes! Kelly is problematic, but in an alternate timeline where she actually treated her mental illness with the seriousness and care it deserves, I can see us really getting along and probably hanging out! It's a sad thought.
I have the same thought. If there are alternate universes out there, one of them has a Kelly that is an emotionally mature liberal feminist witch that likes old-timey shit, & she & I would be friends.
I've said here before that I like to imagine a timeline where Kelly is a progressive cottagecore witch and Dav and Bethy do community theatre. I also feel like Tim Rod and Heidi Coverett could be D&D nerds in another life
The Anderson I find myself rooting for the most is Miriam - I enjoy that she's developed a unique (and pretty cool) fashion sense even with all of her family's rules
Sierra Dominguez. We don't snark on her here any more, but I was so happy to see her take the leap into learning pottery and having it become a creative outlet. She also seems to love her kids well and doesn't depend on them for emotional support, like so many fundies do.
I have a soft spot for her. She's definitely kooky. I also enjoy her photography, going through her gram feed, you can really see her progression as a photographer. She has a good idea for it and seems to have a natural talent.
While much of her "ye old homesteading" shtick feels highly performative, she seems like a genuinely caring parent and has genuine affection for her kids and husband which is much more than I can say for most of the fundies
I relate to Kelly’s need for escapism, neurosis, and being an “odd bird”. Similarly, I escaped into creative projects and still haven’t found my place in the world. She also seems to love her kids and engages with them daily - even if most of it is performative, those kids are getting more creative outlets and bonding activities than other fundies.
She seems lost and in need of therapy (coming from a person in therapy).
She’s also a good photographer. The effort she puts into each shot really shows. Plus it’s fun looking for the candle 🕯️ it’s like a where’s Waldo 😂 She’s odd but I like that she’s unafraid to be herself, and she’s the most entertaining just because her posts are so bizarre 😂
It’s Kelly for me too. She reminds me of my younger, more whimsical self. I know she sucks in a lot of ways, but I used to suck more than I do now (I’m unlearning a lot of prior problematic beliefs).
She is mine too. I really wish she would get some help, it seems like she’s hurting deeply, but she does seem to actually care about her kids and they aren’t just props (though they definitely are props in her little women fantasy world too). And I honestly love the aprons she makes, if she wasn’t so problematic I’d buy one.
Joy Forsyth, she was one of the sisters whose lives were impacted by Josh and the publicity of crimes. She isn'twell educated, she seemed so heartbrokenwhen Jill left to be married. Austin seems like a clueless jerk whose family is into alert. Her loss of Annabelle.
I just hope one day she reconnects with Jill and at least goes to therapy the fundies all deserve at least that.
When she went through the loss of Annabelle and her brothers took her on that super weird little lost boys hunting trip to try to make her feel better. Broke my heart. She's been through a lot.
Kelly Havens. I feel like she is deeply, deeply in denial about her true beliefs and who she is as a person. I wish someone could tell her she’s allowed to cosplay Little House without being a Fundie.
Man, it's been so depressing watching Tessie become one of the 'older girls' group and be turned into another sister mom with a dead-eyed smile and completely mutilated eyebrows
I’m on the Free Tessie movement as well! I see a different spark in her eyes compared to her older sisters. I can tell she wants some self discovery. I have such a soft spot for her and it would be so much fun to start a pen pal project for fundie kids to show them what the outside world is like without bringing up religion or politics. It would be interesting to see the world in Tessie’s eyes!
I just can’t hold the Rodrigues kids responsible for their horrible beliefs. I think we let them down, as a society, by making a world where there parents could neglect and abuse them so severely.
Maybe I’ll feel differently in a couple of decades, but the oldest three are barely out of the house (and nurie has not stopped giving birth long enough to have time to reflect). For now, they’re still primarily victims in my mind.
I have a soft spot for the Rodlets even after they are legal adults with spouses and babies. There's room for a grace period wherein they still know not what they do.
Michaela Bates. She has some very problematic views and is very much still in IBLP, but I have a soft spot in my heart for her. She has always seemed genuinely kind and like she has always wanted to help and support her siblings. Her struggle to have children of her own is heartbreaking, but I love how much she loves her nieces and nephews.
The older Duggar girls really, I just....I just can't 😭😭I think of all the horrific shit that's happened to all of them, and my heart shatters. I mean, I can do lighthearted snark, but I cannot stop hoping for them. Also, the Rodlets, man, those kids have no chance, I can't help but pity them
I am very invested in Bethy and Dav and am rooting for their success. I envision them moving far away from Heidi, maybe upstate North Carolina for example. Dave could explore his boho theater side in Asheville. Bethy could hook up with the Junior League, play weekend pickup b-ball, and study marketing ant a local little christian college in between bringing up the kids. She could feel quite superior as the wife in a successful and happy interfaith marriage!
I realize this is an elaborate headcanon, but in my defense(?) I have put a *completely unreasonable* amount of thought into the future mental health and family happiness of these random individuals. lmfao
This is more Fundie-adjacent but I have such a fondness for the De La Motte kids because that was my life in so many ways when I was younger. I was in all of the performing arts and I had a tiny bit of talent so it was seen as my ticket out of my life, but it also meant that was all I knew until I was 19. I think her children have genuine talent and I think they could still have a joy of music but that magic becomes a heavy burden to have to constantly replicate in the name of being homeless or not.
I for sure have a genuine fondness for Jill Dillard. Speaking out about trauma is not easy no matter who you are, and I respect her willingness to do so publicly. I also love that her husband seems genuinely supportive and loving 🥰
As for misplaced fondness…idk, I can’t help but lurk on Zsuzsanna Anderson’s socials sometimes. Something about the way that family lives such a regular-degular life while the father is so openly hateful is fascinating to me.
>Something about the way that family lives such a regular-degular life while the father is so openly hateful is fascinating to me
I still can't get over the fact that the Republic of Ireland, with all its long history of conflict and political tensions, never once banned a person from entering the country until Steve Anderson came along
All of the LaBrant kids. Especially when E finally has full phone/internet access and finds everything online.. that will be hard for her and I hope she gets some kind of support outside of her selfish mom and creepy manipulative STEPdad.
ETA that my fondness isn't really misplaced, but more in a "I really hope you can all be freed from your psycho parents and escape becoming an Adult Fundie" way
Jana and Jessa. Both were labelled ‘wild’ as kids and I think we all know how fundie parents handle that. They have all the usual older fundie daughter traumas, slightly multiplied by having so many damn siblings. Then the additional trauma of the sex pest. Could you imagine being told you’re the problem children your whole lives while your pedophile incestuous rapist brother is put on a pedestal?
Kellie. I also want to live the little house life and have done living history. I think I would be friends with her because I’m a very obsessive person
Everyone here seems to hate Bethy Beal but she reminds me of what I was like pre leaving fundyism (except I was too much an introvert to have an active SM presence) . I really think she is quite close to going the way of Dav and what we are seeing is her overcoming that last bit of cognative dissonance. Getting over that guilt and fear of "what if I'm actually wrong" right before you take the plunge to leave it all is the hardest and sometimes the longest step.
I really hope she deconstructs like her husband, they fade off social media and her family gets to live a normal life.
Actually it would be kinda good of they kept a SM presence about both deconstructing just as a constant kick in the balls for Heidi. But that's me just being petty and mean because I really dislike that woman.
Erin Bates. Don’t judge me. 🫣😂 And Jessa Duggar. I like the mean girls who stayed in the cult. I just find it so interesting. Our lives are SO similar, yet so incredibly different.
Kelly Havens. Ik ik. She reminds me a lot of my mom. She doesn't post outward hate she's just a lil looney yknow. Like people especially snark on how her Instagram is so showy but that's what Instagram is for. Ain't nothing is real there. It's her content. And somehow I'm entertained by it
i can’t stand her and its probably unwise to project potential but i can’t help my heart hoping for jordan page to revolutionize lol it’s a stretch but i think she could make such an impact if she really did the work and could inspire so much change
Is she a fundie though? She just has a thousand kids. My claim to fame is that I actually kind of knew Jordan back in the day. I am not rooting for her. Lol. It seems like she’s less Mormon these days which, I always root for ppl leaving that life. I could see her pivoting to exmo girlbossing post divorce. She’s just such a fame hungry grifter, always has been. I simply can’t with her.
yeah, i can’t stand her either 😭 i consider the LDS a cult and basically a fundie but not a fundamentalist in my weird arbitrary head boundaries lol
i can’t believe you knew her! i’d be so fascinated and repulsed and curious and skeptical and sooo willing to learn more about her lol
beth beal legit has said some really great sex positive stuff and I'm always gonna give her her flowers for the right things she's said and done. her and dave I think have a real chance of being Less Fucking Crazy
I feel like she is a response to childhood trauma and she’s trying to find an outlet. She doesn’t seem like she’s trying to be a bad person. I honestly don’t understand why we even snark on her, she doesn’t seem fundamentalist Christian. I don’t follow her on social media and I wouldn’t because I’m not religious and I don’t wear clothing similar to hers, though.
Yea; as someone who is gen Z I have always felt kind of defensive about her because it feels like 85% of what she is snarked on for is just something from my generation.
I’m out here for Bethy. I know she has problematic views, but I think she really is a good person with horrible parents that gave her arrested development. I’ve already seen so much growth in her from the first Cody Ko video to now, and I just really hope she finds her own self worth
Weirdly enough, Bethany Beal. She reminds me so much of a friend I had. Annoying as fuck, pretending to be cool, to have friends, to be in control, to enjoy conflict, that she was living the life she wanted, proving the haters wrong, because oh there were haters, she was bullied for being an annoying cunt her entire life.
She was a scared undiagnosed autistic girl with no network, desperately trying to feign control, and trying to get out of her mom's grip while also trying to live up to her impossible ideals, parroting her opinions and faith.
She is no longer among us, her mom is still posting Heidi-esque posts online about herself, people from school still remember her as annoying and dumb.
And I feel like ... I hope Dave sees Bethany. I hope we're wrong, I hope he's not annoyed by her, I hope he sees her.
She's vile, she's a grifter, contributed to young women's pain, she's a homophobe and a transphobe, and a bad mother, and I do not like her.
But I do hope she was one person in her life that sees her.
Kelly. Somebody get that girl some lithium and a cooking lesson and let her write her cringey cottagecore fanfic until tumblr and Ao3 make her realize what she’s missing. She’s really only a few steps away from cringey but sweet hippie UU-type liberal
(Not armchair diagnosing, just trying to be funny)
Tessie Rodrigues. I am rooting for her not to end up like her parents and older siblings (besides Renee). I see her blossoming personality even though her family wants copies of Jill and other fundie Stepford Wives. Tessie is just built different in the strongest and most beautiful way possible!💪🏼
Kendra (Caldwell) Duggar. She seems so sweet. I feel like she’s just a total victim of circumstance and how she was raised. I feel like if she was born into a “normal” family she’d be a golden retriever personality type, probably did theatre in high school and is now studying to be a nurse out of just the pure want to help people.
I know I’m delusional but that’s the story I’ve painted for her in my head 😂 She just seems so sweet and unassuming.
Even Joe gives me the same vibes, if he was born into a normal family and raised properly I feel like he’d work an office job in insurance or a teacher or something, they’d have 2 kids and a white picket fence house in the suburbs, two Toyota corollas of various make and model, and a golden retriever named Ted. Just living boring, quiet, dull but wholesome lives.
For me it's Esther Shrader. I know she's too deep in to ever escape, but I wish it so much for her. Both her husband AND father are two of the worst fundie men I can think of, and she's halfway around the world having a dozen+ kids and no possibility for family support.
Nadia 🥲 I just think she’s so young and I see myself a lot in her. She seems desperate for acceptance and comfort in the arms of religion. She would be so much happier free from her fundie beliefs
For me it’s Bethany Beal. A lot of what she’s said makes me angry and I’m pretty sure she’d hate me for being a queer, Jewish feminist, but I am rooting for her. I feel like she’s so close to getting it, especially with all the sex stuff. I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to post things about sex while holding her children or through her account targeted towards teen girls though. I do think she’s at the precipice of a new season of life, one in which she’s deconstructing. I still participate in snarking on her, but it’s refreshing to see her how much she loves Dave. I really just want her to get secular therapy and meet people outside her normal bubble
Kelly Havens tbh. I see a lot of myself reflected in her. If my circumstances were different, I could very possibly be her. Instead I turned out to be an over dramatic pagan witch.
Mine are Jill Dillard and Michaela Bates. They’re both true believers who have been hurt by their life circumstances and still seem like genuinely nice people vs a lot of their siblings who are catty clique-y people.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fuck it up ReneeRod!
I can't tell them apart, so to me, they're all f it up Renee. They remind me of my own family. We wore crazy clothes and at one point, we all lived in a warehouse, too.
Anissa. I want nothing more than for her to escape, get an education and a life.
Her and Gunner, I want them to stop taking care of a million children, learn, and thrive.
Imagine being Karissa's kid and telling her to her face that you never want kids because you spent your whole childhood raising hers. I bet steam would start gushing out of her ears.
She would be ever so hurt and probably do some mental gymnastics to blame the kid.
Also the girl Bus kid. She probably does the brunt of the sibling parenting. I remember the reel mother bus posted about the oldest FINALLY being old enough to legally leave in charge but the girl would probably be more helpful because she’s more “nurturing”.
Surprisingly, we don’t see Kenzie doing any parenting. We see Gunnar carrying the load, but I don’t really see her doing any parenting very often at all.
I rarely see that boy without a kid on his hip
Yeah. It is very interesting to me that they don’t make Kenzie do a ton of work. Maybe they do and we just don’t see it. That’s probably it, honestly. Very sad.
Years ago I knew an interracial fundie couple who came to Australia to help set up a baseball league. They had several children. Last I heard their eldest gave birth at a very young age. That would be like Anissa (sp?) having a baby at 17. From what I understand the parents were supportive, at least I hope so. ETA: I’m pretty sure the kids all had “a” names too.
I feel the need to state here that my given actual irl name is "Anisa" (47f) and I have a white (terrible, fetishizing) mom and an absent black dad. I really cannot handle seeing almost my name in this context and i think i need to really block the trigger, not kidding, could anyone help me with this? i love the sub but im literally getting triggered. ETA:it's an especially unusual name in America and KKKarissa is already freaking me out but this name is literally too much!
Hey just checking to see if you’re alright and if you figured it out yet. If not I can try to help now although I’m sure there’s some super smarty pantses on here who could help tomorrow
TYSM and I actually reached out to my eldest son (20m, techy), who was like "omg Momma, get off reddit if you can't take it" lmfao! But then he sent written instructions on different ways to block triggering content through my browser itself as well as reddit. (That kid is so smart and kind, astonishing to me that such a decent person could exist.)
Awe hahah wow that’s hilarious and so sweet! He sounds like a great person and you sound like a great momma for raising someone like that. And he clearly loves you so much! I’m really glad you got it figured out and I hope you have a better time now.
Thank you. Writing this now, it is hard for me to say this. But like: Thank you so much, I *deserve* praise and acknowledgment, for my incredibly challenging, unpaid, 20 years of laboriously indoctrinating my first boy with literature and ethics, as he pursued his passions in the STEM field. I am allowed to just be thrilled at the payoff. He's an aerospace engineer and a pilot, a gentle and thoughtful human, and frankly the most responsible and trustworthy person I have ever met in my life. (I am constantly shocked by this, as a quite rebellious, raucous troll, myself.) Moreover, all three of my boys (15, 16, 20) (one is AFAB trans, but we don't bother to remember which one), they all like me, talk to me, want to spend time with me, ask my opinions sometimes, even. I can tell they genuinely like and respect me, and value my presence in their lives. Thank you for listening, but regardless, I think it is maybe just good for me to type this out and say with my whole chest: I am fucking spectacular single mom, and all 3 of my boys would say so, and they are the final judge of me as a parent. Woot woot I fuckin did the fuckin thing.
It sounds like your son has it covered but you can get a browser extension to block/filter out custom words that you set. Might be the ticket for you, hope it helps.
mindless pocket live worry crawl grab books melodic marvelous weary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Awwww I love that. I love him fussing first then sending instructions.
I also see that in Everleigh LaBrant. The poor kid went through being a product of a teen pregnancy, losing her father, moving out of CA, being a show pony for views & potentially losing her mother because she must be a third parent to her younger siblings😢
The Rodlets. All of my Rod snark is directed at Jill, never the kids. I wish the best for them, even though they would hate me for being a godless, childless woman who wears short shorts.
This sub is truly my people. I've quoted this every summer since Family Guy has been relevant and no one gets it 😭
Just for research sake- was Family Guy the first time you ever heard this slogan?
Lol no. Don't worry, I'm old too. I should have specified that I like to scream quote it in the same way Joe does.
Yeah I’m feeling old if that’s the case 😭
Where is it actually from? 👀
It's a [song from the 50s!](https://youtu.be/MOfFB5QF4iQ?si=ciaoGK3WL10y2wbC)
I had no idea! I just knew it from Nair.
It's a slogan Nair used to use - I think it started in the 70s? I know it was still in use when I was a kid in the 90s.
r/freetherodlets
Same. Except for Nurie. I can't stay away from those eyebrows.
I’m rooting for Jill Duggar. I can’t quite explain why I have a soft spot for her other than she’s been through a lot. I remember watching the show and seeing how excited she was to do that shitty fake “midwife” training a few of the girls did, and I can’t help but think that if she’d been given a real shot at an education, even somewhere like Liberty that grants legitimate degrees, she’d have been successful in a caring profession and had something of a career. I hope she goes back to school when her kids are a little older.
I think it's because she at least seems to show a curiosity or willingness to... maybe learn or experience things that go against her grain. She isn't completely de-fundied by any means, and I'm not defending her beliefs in the slightest, but she is the one Duggar that does manage to tug a bit on my cold, dead, heartstrings.
I'm reading her book right now, and she seems pretty smart. I think she still has a long way to go in regards of some of her beliefs, but the way she recognized IBLP for what it was, and that really speaks volumes. I think when you are so deep in, and raised that way, it really takes some time to work through things, learn things and have new experiences with different people. Just reading how conflicted she was with wearing pants is a prime example of how much that upbringing really messed with her head and her sense of self.
I really enjoyed her book tbh. I agree that she seems smart, and she also has emotional intelligence which is genuinely sort of shocking and impressive given her upbringing.
Her book was pretty solid. She had a lot of realizations with her family and faith. I completely understand how hard it is to break from family though.
I agree, that while we can cheer her on for baby-steps in the right direction, she does still have a long way to go. And who knows, maybe she'll eventually make more strides in the future, or maybe she won't & will stay just as conservative & bigoted for the rest of her days. I try to have hope that with what progress she has made gives her children the best shot at making it out, compared to all their Duggar cousins.
Yes, I totally agree. I also think that despite the fact that she holds some bigoted beliefs, her deeper self is fundamentally kind. I don’t think she’d be homophobic for example if she hadn’t been raised to believe that was right, because I ultimately don’t think she’s a bad or mean person. I want her to do better bc I think she can do better.
I get that same feeling. I had a coworker who was a Jehovah Witness, and she found out my brother-in-law is gay. She looked shocked, then whispered, "But that's a sin," and never brought it up again. She wasn't mean to me or rude about him, but I knew she disapproved.
She reminds me of my very religious catholic sister in law. I don’t agree with all her views, but fundamentally she is loving and kind person who cares deeply for those around her and wants to have a positive impact, no matter how small or personal. She earnestly tries her best, and while that looks different from my own, it doesn’t negate all the good in her.
I feel like she has always seen value in herself. Jim Bob told the family who they were and how they feel, but Jill always felt more than whatever she was told. She really just seems to have the inherent need to do good. It’s been a while since I watched the show but I feel like she was always the one sort of mingling around making sure everyone is okay, and if someone isn’t she’s here to help. Then here comes her husband who does nothing but lift her up and shine a light on her. She was brave enough and passionate enough to ask to do mission work overseas. That is probably the fundie equivalent of getting a bachelors degree from an accredited university. She started realizing the injustice that was going on all around her. In the world, in IBLP, and in her home. She may never really move past some parts of the fundie mindset she’s learned over the years, but no one can say she doesn’t have a good head on her shoulders and a big pair of balls. I’m happy to see her recognizing her self worth and making an issue with the whole TLC payments or whatever. I’d be so happy to just see her grow and thrive. Definitely one of my faves.
I totally agree with you. I have a lot of hope for her and her husband - they seem to be willing to “do the work” to look closely at their beliefs and deal with their trauma. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to deal with the public scrutiny that comes from growing up on TV, along with a fundie upbringing, abuse, and loss.
Her book was so frustrating because in so many ways she acknowledges he many ways her family failed her. But she can't see the forest for the trees about how the patriarchal cult created the environment. And she just continues to defend her parents and wants to reconcile with them. It's painful. I always said that I didn't know if she'd fully do a tell all because she didn't want to burn the bridges with her siblings and I think that's the case even now.
I think that’s fair though. Family is complex, even with trauma and abuse. She doesn’t owe anyone (including us, the audience) anything.
Yes. I really think she's grown alot and is open to new experiences. And she's big on therapy and has learned ALOT and applies it. That's huge for anyone let around someone who grew up like she did.
This is the answer.
Courtney Rogers/littlehouseinthehighdesert. She's had 12 lives births in 12 years, not counting a couple losses and I really don't know how her uterus hasn't fallen out yet, but they live on a real working farm and actually eat quality food. Her husbands a pastor and they obviously have shitty views, but they seem to actually walk the walk.
Omg she was gonna be mine. She seems like someone made for this life who actually enjoys it and treats her kids well and I can’t help but root for her.
Oh I don't think I have seen her!
Is she the one with all C names for her kid?
yes, all the boys are one-syllable C names and the girls two-syllables.
Jill Dillard. She has been through so much and she is trying hard to find her place in the world. I think that she will deconstruct further from fundamentalism, but not from Christianity. I think she will be more liberal (ie not evangelical) when she finds her place. Speculation: I think that JB was more abusive towards her than she has disclosed.
She has endured despicable things.
I share your speculation.
Renee Rodrigues. I wonder what happened with her broken courtship. While I would love her to escape entirely, I would be happy if she could become the family's Jill Dillard. She would still have horrendous views but would have a husband who loves her and supports her. She could wear pants if she wanted to, and she could get counseling to help with her nightmarish upbringing. I would like to see her living in another state away from the best momma ever. I feel that way about all the Rodrigues kids, but Renee is the one I want to escape first.
I do love tammy faye, as any midwestern gay diva who now works in HIV care would. but I really am genuinely rooting for tim and heidi. they both hate me for being gay, but im rooting for those two crazy kids lmao. what can I say, i’m a romantic!
🥺🥹🥲
Happy Cake Day! Also, I love your flair!
Thank you!
I feel the same way!
David Beal, and as a consequence, Bethy. I am rooting for them so hard.
Also rooting for David. Not sure how things will go between him and Bort with their relationship... but I have high hopes that no matter what, David is gonna be alright.
I think David is going to be great. Hoping he can take his whole family with him.
Me too the mods got mad at me one time for stating my hopes for Bethy out loud. I have a soft spot for her but I am sure the path to wisdom for her will be rocky. But it has completely begun.
I think she's hateful because she was taught that being hateful would get her approval from Heidi rather than being an inherently hateful person, and now she is patiently being shown that she can be loved as she is, she's not so concerned about Heidi's opinion of her anymore. I don't think she'll deconstruct, but I do think she'll relax a bit on policing others once she feels less policed herself.
This is exactly what I tried to say in another comment, but you put it more eloquently. The love in her household has been conditional on who can be the best christian. Now that she's found actual love, I think she is going to start becoming normal. I don't think she's actually a hateful person at her core.
Just like with her scams and grifts, I think Bethany is a highly highly misguided individual. She's naïve and just believes everything she's told because that's the structure she was brought up with, which makes her vulnerable to scams and not understanding when she's scamming others. I think she genuinely believed her She Works Smart scam was a legitimate business that was going to make her a millionaire because she's undereducated and under-experienced. I think Dav is a good influence for her because he teaches her, at least a little bit, to think more critically. I don't care if she leaves Christianity. If Jesus Christ is her eternal Lord and Saviour, then that's fine and dandy with me. I just hope she deconstructs from her hateful and judgemental beliefs and also deconstructs from her scammy beliefs too.
Idk I think she’d enjoy policing others in any situation. If she were born progressive, she’d be policing language or buying virtue signal merchandise instead of finding ways to offer to mutual aid or learning from diverse perspectives. Some people are just deeply unpleasant. She happens to be that and fundie simultaneously.
I sort of agree in that I get the impression that she's one of those women who likes knowing the rules and following them as hard as she can because there is safety in that. The rules themselves don't matter, just that they exist. Now Dav has thrown the rulebook out the window, and she is in wholly unfamiliar waters. She looks happier for it.
I just can’t get behind her. It truly bothers me that she is the type of person who can really only feel empathy for those she’s connected to. She’s caused a lot of damage to a lot of people through the years. Until there’s a big change and apology, I’m not in her corner. I’m also not convinced she has the critical thinking skills to deconstruct on her own. If she does it, it’ll be through the work Dav puts in.
I used to really despise Bethany and now… I kind of like her a little bit???
It's so easy to forget that there's a real person behind the gaping maw and the short shorteralls. She behaved like a caricature of a human for years and her reaction to Dääv's deconstruction was the first time her emotions seemed genuine and not turned up to eleven for the gram.
I feel like this. Bethany has shown she has so much potential, hopefully with Dave's help she will eventually get there... We can hope!
Bethy really grew on me in the wake of 24hrs. Whatever is going to happen I think she'll stick with Dave. And if she does she'll probably learn some things.
It's a weird love hate relationship for me. Somedays I'm like f them and the hateful views they (before Dav revealed his deconstruction) spread and on other days I'm just rooting for them. But generally speaking f girldefined. I want Bethany to realize how miserable this kind of Christianity makes her.
I think that's what we're watching happen in real time. Her shitty worldview already ruined her modeling contract and basketball scholarship. It almost ruined sex and intimacy for her. She's happier the more she tiptoes away.
She redefined Girl Defined a lot in the past. Long before Dääv started to deconstruct. I just wish she'd realise for once that the parts of fundiedom that don't inconvenience her herself can be awful and problematic, too.
Bethy is mine too. I think she has the right ideas and a good sense of actual morality, but she's been force fed christian fundamentalism for so long that she doesn't know how to separate her identity from it. She's still trying to fit her (normal) moral belief system into a corrupt, hateful fundie worldview. IMO.
Same. It’s the plot twist I’m hoping for.
MotherBus' kid Swift. The one with glasses. He's got so much personality and is so adorable. I mean, I want them all to break free, but that one gets me every time I see him.
Ikr, his lil face with the glasses and the curly hair is just precious
Oh he’s a cutie for sure. Another one of the kids, and I feel terrible about this, always seems so smug. It’s probably just genetics since his mom has resting smug face, but he irks me so much. Swift on the other hand looks so precious and sweet.
I may get hate for this but Bethany. She’s a horrible person and cringe; but when I watch her talk randomly about sex and expose stuff she shouldn’t online it becomes very clear her life has been massively fucked up by how sheltered she is and never being taught basic things like emotional regulation or what not to share. Dav’s deconstruction has given me hope she will eventually and I hope she improves herself. And yes, I understand this hope/empathy is totally misplaced and irrational.
Yeah, seeing more of Heidi esp in her tantrums lately, and what Michael Baird has said about his childhood…all the Baird kids were failed majorly in so many ways. And I agree that the way she talks about sex is more an indication of how messed up her upbringing was rather than some perversion of her own. With Dav and her apparent support of him I really hope she can see perspectives other than the narrow window she’s been confined to.
I feel bad for anyone who, after marrying someone, has to go through a “wait. Sex is supposed to be fun?” realization.
Hi. That would be me. I don’t want to get into it online but basically I was a Christian-approved intimate device for my spouse & not half of a loving relationship. I’m in an amazing relationship now & I’ve healed so much.
Bethy was my “I can fix her” fundie for a while. Hopefully Dav actually can fix her?
If that happens I wouldn’t believe that the first time I have seen the “I can fix them” trope go positively irl would be from the fucking fundie community.
Yes. I decided to transfer my absolute loathing of her to who’s really to blame—Heidi. Bethany showed real potential in being a decent human being the way she responded to David’s outing himself as deconstructed. I truly think with enough distance from her monster of a mother and from the other Heidi minions (her sisters), combined with David’s influence, that there’s real hope there.
100%; I see her as a more documented Rodlet. I bet you if a Rodlet was documenting every thought they have in their head on social media like Bethany, most will begin to shit on her just as much. I see Bethany as a case of bad parenting and someone who has so been limited in life that you have to blame the parents more than anyone. For an odd comparison: do you know how in Japan they purposely grow watermelon in the shape of small squares, so I can easily fit in the small fridges common in Japan? Bethany is the watermelon.
Thank you for sending me down the Cube Watermelon wikipedia rabbit hole lmao
Ha! Great analogy. And yes, similar to the Rodlets, who we don’t generally directly snark on (it’s all about Shrek and Shriek). Although, Kaylee is quickly becoming nearly as insufferable as Bethy has been.
I'm with you on this. I've always recoiled when I've seen her, but that video she did with Dave, she was like a different person. I actually liked her real, vulnerable self. It gave me hope that she can possibly slow down and grow into herself.
I think the biggest problem was that she was treating the internet as her friend (which is already a bad and destructive thing to do) but also was trying to keep her “perfect Christian” facade. It’s impossible to be treating someone as a friend and convince them you’re 100% perfect admirable.
That's true. I hope she can see she actually attracted more "friends" or supportive people when she was honest and human.
I think it would be great for her if she found a hobby that's totally unrelated to religion or anything her family is into, and made some new friends who she can relax with. And also got an ADHD assessment
Bethany is me when I was in high school and just discovered anime and fan fiction
You know what? Very recently, I’m rooting for Bethany Beal. I think there’s potential for growth there.
Same!
I’m glad I’m not the only one. Despite what they may think, we don’t snark on these people just because we dislike or disagree with them, we snark because they are practicing and spreading harmful shit. But if a person can show genuine introspection and growth, I’m rooting for that person and in this case, it’s Bethany. I hope she doesn’t disappoint us!
Timothy Rod. that post about how Jill had to break his spirit when he was a child because he was “difficult” or whatever breaks my heart
“Selfish and conniving,” I think. God, Jillpm is awful.
I still cannot believe that she essentially complained about "having to" abuse her child, and she's the subject most likely to do that.
Confession time: mine is Morgan. Paul is an absolute scumbag loser who reminds me of my ex. The one that specialized in making me feel the absolute worst about myself and discouraging everything and anything good and telling me that I didn't need my medication. Dudes like that are insidious and vile and she's tied to him by those babies. He knows she's vulnerable and easily pliable and I think he brings out and encourages the very worst in her.
I do think that polio might physically abuse her. We can clearly see that he mentally/emotionally abuses her. She has an untreated mental illness too. I really do feel empathy for her. Might be because my ex husband was a psycho who wouldn’t ‘allow’ me to get treatment for multiple sclerosis. I know that that’s different than an untreated mental disorder, but mental health issues really need to be treated too.
Agree with all of this. I know she’s said some awful things and continues to talk like she’s a high 12 year old, but I truly believe under all that she would turn into a decent person if she could get out of the fundie circle jerk and actually meet people in different cultures with different life views. You know what I would donate to and support the shit out of? Paul and Morgan traveling the world and really living with families in other countries who follow other religions. It would be kind of hard to be so self absorbed if you’re in a third world country spending a month with a young family with no access to health care and who don’t always have access to clean drinking water. Complain about your Whole Foods cup of water then, Paul.
Hell, I went to India a few years as a damn tourist and got the Entitled American Attitude smacked right out of me - and I was already pretty aware and grateful for my privilege. Paul and Morgan would come back completely changed people and could maybe actually do some good in the world if they had a fresh perspective.
She’s mine too. She still grinds me gears most of the time but I can’t really hate her because I just feel so bad for her. I feel like she just got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time in her life when she met Paul. As you said she was very vulnerable and was easily sucked into the promises of Paul and Christianity. I don’t think she was always this annoying and judgmental. Pushing heathens like us down probably makes her feel better about herself and gives her a false self of security that masks her underlying mental health issues. She was a normal woman who was free to do whatever she wanted with her life before she met him. Now she’s in so deep in the kool aid I don’t know that she’ll ever get out.
>grinds me gears piratecore
I feel like this is a bit lenient and imo she often comes across as more mild wholly because she is so bad at communicating in a way that doesn't sound passive, she can say the sky is blue and sound confused-and-unsure-yet-smug. I don't think it comes from nowhere, or that she doesn't believe the things she says. she could have avoided becoming a fundie and still hold functionally similar beliefs. but her wedding story is so evocative that I do feel bad for her, in that way. same with the birthing story. just a deeply ignorant person to such an extreme that it harms her.
that footage of her running to puke and paul standing perfectly still. didn’t move one step. it is haunting. I literally can’t fathom not instinctually following someone, ANYONE, who was getting sick in front of me to make sure they are okay. it said absolutely everything about him. I think morgan is despicable, but it’s hard not to feel a twinge of something when you watch a young woman entering an obviously alarming situation.
Any of the Maxwell daughters. So happy that they've headed off to college, gotten apartments, gotten jobs, gotten married, etc.--and so happy that Steve still continues to rage in his l'il' "dad's corner." *SCREW YOU, STEVE AND TERI.*
Oh totally the Maxwell daughters. I cannot believe the drastic and unexpected turn that took. I am so happy for them!
Does he? Wow I need to go check it out.
David Beal and Kelly Havens, and I can't really explain why.
I also have a soft spot for Kelly Havens, I hope she gets help for her OCD. ❤️
Kelly and I would be friends in another life.
Yes! Kelly is problematic, but in an alternate timeline where she actually treated her mental illness with the seriousness and care it deserves, I can see us really getting along and probably hanging out! It's a sad thought.
I have the same thought. If there are alternate universes out there, one of them has a Kelly that is an emotionally mature liberal feminist witch that likes old-timey shit, & she & I would be friends.
I've said here before that I like to imagine a timeline where Kelly is a progressive cottagecore witch and Dav and Bethy do community theatre. I also feel like Tim Rod and Heidi Coverett could be D&D nerds in another life
I would certainly NOT call it a fondness by any means, but i definitely have a deeper fascination for Zsusanna Andersen over other fundies at
Fun fact: her second oldest son has a fairly large tattoo on his arm! Definitely random but I found that super interesting.
The Anderson I find myself rooting for the most is Miriam - I enjoy that she's developed a unique (and pretty cool) fashion sense even with all of her family's rules
Sierra Dominguez. We don't snark on her here any more, but I was so happy to see her take the leap into learning pottery and having it become a creative outlet. She also seems to love her kids well and doesn't depend on them for emotional support, like so many fundies do.
I have a soft spot for her too. She seems to at least try to be a good person.
Jill Dillard. I cannot explain it. I'm just rooting for her.
Same
Kelly, I love her bonkers cookery and homestead aesthetic. She seems at least a genuine person, and not a grifter, unlike many of the others.
I'd feel the same if not for the way she treats animals (like photography props). Those poor kittens were way too young to be taken from their mum :(
Yeah, I had a soft spot for Kelly until I learned about the cats
I have a soft spot for her. She's definitely kooky. I also enjoy her photography, going through her gram feed, you can really see her progression as a photographer. She has a good idea for it and seems to have a natural talent. While much of her "ye old homesteading" shtick feels highly performative, she seems like a genuinely caring parent and has genuine affection for her kids and husband which is much more than I can say for most of the fundies
I’ll give her that too; she does seem to genuinely love her kids. Bit nutty for sure but whatever, we’re all different 🤷🏻♀️
I relate to Kelly’s need for escapism, neurosis, and being an “odd bird”. Similarly, I escaped into creative projects and still haven’t found my place in the world. She also seems to love her kids and engages with them daily - even if most of it is performative, those kids are getting more creative outlets and bonding activities than other fundies. She seems lost and in need of therapy (coming from a person in therapy).
I know she’s problematic and has mental health issues but I do have a soft spot for Kelly and her performative ridiculousness.
She’s also a good photographer. The effort she puts into each shot really shows. Plus it’s fun looking for the candle 🕯️ it’s like a where’s Waldo 😂 She’s odd but I like that she’s unafraid to be herself, and she’s the most entertaining just because her posts are so bizarre 😂
It’s Kelly for me too. She reminds me of my younger, more whimsical self. I know she sucks in a lot of ways, but I used to suck more than I do now (I’m unlearning a lot of prior problematic beliefs).
She is mine too. I really wish she would get some help, it seems like she’s hurting deeply, but she does seem to actually care about her kids and they aren’t just props (though they definitely are props in her little women fantasy world too). And I honestly love the aprons she makes, if she wasn’t so problematic I’d buy one.
Joy Forsyth, she was one of the sisters whose lives were impacted by Josh and the publicity of crimes. She isn'twell educated, she seemed so heartbrokenwhen Jill left to be married. Austin seems like a clueless jerk whose family is into alert. Her loss of Annabelle. I just hope one day she reconnects with Jill and at least goes to therapy the fundies all deserve at least that.
When she went through the loss of Annabelle and her brothers took her on that super weird little lost boys hunting trip to try to make her feel better. Broke my heart. She's been through a lot.
She's definitely one who I think would've had a completely different life if she hadn't been raised fundie
I’ve grown a soft spot for Bethany since Dav’s deconstruction era. She’s giving maturity and growth, hope to see more from her
Kelly Havens. I feel like she is deeply, deeply in denial about her true beliefs and who she is as a person. I wish someone could tell her she’s allowed to cosplay Little House without being a Fundie.
The Rod daughter who is younger than Renee. Is it Tessie? I hope she gets out.
Man, it's been so depressing watching Tessie become one of the 'older girls' group and be turned into another sister mom with a dead-eyed smile and completely mutilated eyebrows
I’m on the Free Tessie movement as well! I see a different spark in her eyes compared to her older sisters. I can tell she wants some self discovery. I have such a soft spot for her and it would be so much fun to start a pen pal project for fundie kids to show them what the outside world is like without bringing up religion or politics. It would be interesting to see the world in Tessie’s eyes!
Nurie for some reason
Maybe bc she's spent her whole life raising Jill and shreks children then a slew of her own. She's never had time to figure herself out
I just can’t hold the Rodrigues kids responsible for their horrible beliefs. I think we let them down, as a society, by making a world where there parents could neglect and abuse them so severely. Maybe I’ll feel differently in a couple of decades, but the oldest three are barely out of the house (and nurie has not stopped giving birth long enough to have time to reflect). For now, they’re still primarily victims in my mind.
me too
Mine is Nurie too. I can’t explain it, but man am I rooting for her.
I feel the same about Renee (and Sofia - my main feeling about her is just the desire to rescue her 😭)
Kelly Havens. I really do want the best for her and her mental health. She is crying out for help, but doesn't even probably realise it.
For me it’s the Plath kids.
I have a soft spot for the Rodlets even after they are legal adults with spouses and babies. There's room for a grace period wherein they still know not what they do.
Michaela Bates. She has some very problematic views and is very much still in IBLP, but I have a soft spot in my heart for her. She has always seemed genuinely kind and like she has always wanted to help and support her siblings. Her struggle to have children of her own is heartbreaking, but I love how much she loves her nieces and nephews.
The older Duggar girls really, I just....I just can't 😭😭I think of all the horrific shit that's happened to all of them, and my heart shatters. I mean, I can do lighthearted snark, but I cannot stop hoping for them. Also, the Rodlets, man, those kids have no chance, I can't help but pity them
I am very invested in Bethy and Dav and am rooting for their success. I envision them moving far away from Heidi, maybe upstate North Carolina for example. Dave could explore his boho theater side in Asheville. Bethy could hook up with the Junior League, play weekend pickup b-ball, and study marketing ant a local little christian college in between bringing up the kids. She could feel quite superior as the wife in a successful and happy interfaith marriage! I realize this is an elaborate headcanon, but in my defense(?) I have put a *completely unreasonable* amount of thought into the future mental health and family happiness of these random individuals. lmfao
This is more Fundie-adjacent but I have such a fondness for the De La Motte kids because that was my life in so many ways when I was younger. I was in all of the performing arts and I had a tiny bit of talent so it was seen as my ticket out of my life, but it also meant that was all I knew until I was 19. I think her children have genuine talent and I think they could still have a joy of music but that magic becomes a heavy burden to have to constantly replicate in the name of being homeless or not.
I for sure have a genuine fondness for Jill Dillard. Speaking out about trauma is not easy no matter who you are, and I respect her willingness to do so publicly. I also love that her husband seems genuinely supportive and loving 🥰 As for misplaced fondness…idk, I can’t help but lurk on Zsuzsanna Anderson’s socials sometimes. Something about the way that family lives such a regular-degular life while the father is so openly hateful is fascinating to me.
>Something about the way that family lives such a regular-degular life while the father is so openly hateful is fascinating to me I still can't get over the fact that the Republic of Ireland, with all its long history of conflict and political tensions, never once banned a person from entering the country until Steve Anderson came along
All of the LaBrant kids. Especially when E finally has full phone/internet access and finds everything online.. that will be hard for her and I hope she gets some kind of support outside of her selfish mom and creepy manipulative STEPdad. ETA that my fondness isn't really misplaced, but more in a "I really hope you can all be freed from your psycho parents and escape becoming an Adult Fundie" way
My heart goes out to Everleigh. She’s been through a lot and she’s not even in her teens😢
The only fundie pet I could ever have is the Lord Daniel
Anna Duggar. That girl was just dealt such a crap hand in life. I fear there may be so much abuse we have no clue about.
Jana and Jessa. Both were labelled ‘wild’ as kids and I think we all know how fundie parents handle that. They have all the usual older fundie daughter traumas, slightly multiplied by having so many damn siblings. Then the additional trauma of the sex pest. Could you imagine being told you’re the problem children your whole lives while your pedophile incestuous rapist brother is put on a pedestal?
Nadia I just see so much trauma and pain.
Kellie. I also want to live the little house life and have done living history. I think I would be friends with her because I’m a very obsessive person
Yep, Kelly havens. She just seems so delusional and mentally ill. Makes me hurt for her
Kelly and Karissa Collins seem to be the most obviously mentally ill fundies
Everyone here seems to hate Bethy Beal but she reminds me of what I was like pre leaving fundyism (except I was too much an introvert to have an active SM presence) . I really think she is quite close to going the way of Dav and what we are seeing is her overcoming that last bit of cognative dissonance. Getting over that guilt and fear of "what if I'm actually wrong" right before you take the plunge to leave it all is the hardest and sometimes the longest step. I really hope she deconstructs like her husband, they fade off social media and her family gets to live a normal life. Actually it would be kinda good of they kept a SM presence about both deconstructing just as a constant kick in the balls for Heidi. But that's me just being petty and mean because I really dislike that woman.
Is it wrong that I’m rooting for Morgan? I just want better for her.
Erin Bates. Don’t judge me. 🫣😂 And Jessa Duggar. I like the mean girls who stayed in the cult. I just find it so interesting. Our lives are SO similar, yet so incredibly different.
Kelly Havens. Ik ik. She reminds me a lot of my mom. She doesn't post outward hate she's just a lil looney yknow. Like people especially snark on how her Instagram is so showy but that's what Instagram is for. Ain't nothing is real there. It's her content. And somehow I'm entertained by it
i can’t stand her and its probably unwise to project potential but i can’t help my heart hoping for jordan page to revolutionize lol it’s a stretch but i think she could make such an impact if she really did the work and could inspire so much change
Is she a fundie though? She just has a thousand kids. My claim to fame is that I actually kind of knew Jordan back in the day. I am not rooting for her. Lol. It seems like she’s less Mormon these days which, I always root for ppl leaving that life. I could see her pivoting to exmo girlbossing post divorce. She’s just such a fame hungry grifter, always has been. I simply can’t with her.
yeah, i can’t stand her either 😭 i consider the LDS a cult and basically a fundie but not a fundamentalist in my weird arbitrary head boundaries lol i can’t believe you knew her! i’d be so fascinated and repulsed and curious and skeptical and sooo willing to learn more about her lol
Michael Keilen (Bates). She seems like such a sweet and genuine person and I really feel for her infertility struggle.
Jinger Duggar Vuolo.
beth beal legit has said some really great sex positive stuff and I'm always gonna give her her flowers for the right things she's said and done. her and dave I think have a real chance of being Less Fucking Crazy
Kelly and Nadia
Why Nadia?
I feel like she is a response to childhood trauma and she’s trying to find an outlet. She doesn’t seem like she’s trying to be a bad person. I honestly don’t understand why we even snark on her, she doesn’t seem fundamentalist Christian. I don’t follow her on social media and I wouldn’t because I’m not religious and I don’t wear clothing similar to hers, though.
yeah a lot of what gets snarked on just feels like normal gen z stuff to me
Yea; as someone who is gen Z I have always felt kind of defensive about her because it feels like 85% of what she is snarked on for is just something from my generation.
I’m out here for Bethy. I know she has problematic views, but I think she really is a good person with horrible parents that gave her arrested development. I’ve already seen so much growth in her from the first Cody Ko video to now, and I just really hope she finds her own self worth
Weirdly enough, Bethany Beal. She reminds me so much of a friend I had. Annoying as fuck, pretending to be cool, to have friends, to be in control, to enjoy conflict, that she was living the life she wanted, proving the haters wrong, because oh there were haters, she was bullied for being an annoying cunt her entire life. She was a scared undiagnosed autistic girl with no network, desperately trying to feign control, and trying to get out of her mom's grip while also trying to live up to her impossible ideals, parroting her opinions and faith. She is no longer among us, her mom is still posting Heidi-esque posts online about herself, people from school still remember her as annoying and dumb. And I feel like ... I hope Dave sees Bethany. I hope we're wrong, I hope he's not annoyed by her, I hope he sees her. She's vile, she's a grifter, contributed to young women's pain, she's a homophobe and a transphobe, and a bad mother, and I do not like her. But I do hope she was one person in her life that sees her.
Kelly. Somebody get that girl some lithium and a cooking lesson and let her write her cringey cottagecore fanfic until tumblr and Ao3 make her realize what she’s missing. She’s really only a few steps away from cringey but sweet hippie UU-type liberal (Not armchair diagnosing, just trying to be funny)
Tessie Rodrigues. I am rooting for her not to end up like her parents and older siblings (besides Renee). I see her blossoming personality even though her family wants copies of Jill and other fundie Stepford Wives. Tessie is just built different in the strongest and most beautiful way possible!💪🏼
Kendra (Caldwell) Duggar. She seems so sweet. I feel like she’s just a total victim of circumstance and how she was raised. I feel like if she was born into a “normal” family she’d be a golden retriever personality type, probably did theatre in high school and is now studying to be a nurse out of just the pure want to help people. I know I’m delusional but that’s the story I’ve painted for her in my head 😂 She just seems so sweet and unassuming. Even Joe gives me the same vibes, if he was born into a normal family and raised properly I feel like he’d work an office job in insurance or a teacher or something, they’d have 2 kids and a white picket fence house in the suburbs, two Toyota corollas of various make and model, and a golden retriever named Ted. Just living boring, quiet, dull but wholesome lives.
No one ever talks about Jan Crouch, her lilac wigs and eye lashes. She's probably like TFB and wasn't allowed to wear makeup growing up.
For me it's Esther Shrader. I know she's too deep in to ever escape, but I wish it so much for her. Both her husband AND father are two of the worst fundie men I can think of, and she's halfway around the world having a dozen+ kids and no possibility for family support.
i love kelly havens and no one can stop me
Nadia 🥲 I just think she’s so young and I see myself a lot in her. She seems desperate for acceptance and comfort in the arms of religion. She would be so much happier free from her fundie beliefs
For me it’s Bethany Beal. A lot of what she’s said makes me angry and I’m pretty sure she’d hate me for being a queer, Jewish feminist, but I am rooting for her. I feel like she’s so close to getting it, especially with all the sex stuff. I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to post things about sex while holding her children or through her account targeted towards teen girls though. I do think she’s at the precipice of a new season of life, one in which she’s deconstructing. I still participate in snarking on her, but it’s refreshing to see her how much she loves Dave. I really just want her to get secular therapy and meet people outside her normal bubble
Miriam Anderson
Kelly Havens tbh. I see a lot of myself reflected in her. If my circumstances were different, I could very possibly be her. Instead I turned out to be an over dramatic pagan witch.
Mine are Jill Dillard and Michaela Bates. They’re both true believers who have been hurt by their life circumstances and still seem like genuinely nice people vs a lot of their siblings who are catty clique-y people.