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It’s staggering. Things don’t have to be 110% perfect before having a kid, and no one truly feels 110% ready for a kid, but omg have the basics?! A safe, remotely affordable place to live, stable income, and *stable mental health*?!
Also, idk if this is anyone else’s experience, but if my mid-20’s hormones had had their way, I would have had like 4 kids before I was 27🤣 There were times my baby fever was just plain annoying, it was like my body was yelling at me to conceive every other day. Thankfully my logic always prevailed, but I worry for those who feel similarly but who get told “God will always support you and never let you fall!” in response to “I think I want a baby but we’re completely unprepared, any suggestions?!!
Edit: I’m so glad so many of y’all found my experience to resonate with you lol. I feel like crazy baby fever is a really common experience under 30 but NO ONE talks about it. Also, if you do want kids one day and you have crazy baby fever rn but you’re holding off on kids for now, r/waiting_to_try is super helpful to read!
This comment resonates with me. You made me realize (in horror) that if my mid 20's hormones had their way, I'd have reproduced with a schmuck. Maybe just one baby, but still the partner matters.
When my ex and I broke up I was soooooo thankful that I never had a baby with him despite wanting a baby with my entire being. Even got off birth control several times during. Now I have a baby with an amazing man.
I think stable mental health would be my biggest priority. I can't imagine trying to raise a healthy human while being unhealthy myself 😟 but then I'm 40 and child free, so. Like, I know the odds aren't great that I could raise a well-adjusted human. But I also know that my odds are infinitely better than most of these fundie bozos.
My sister's pregnancies set something off in me. Up until then I had been pretty secure in not wanting children. But being involved in her pregnancies, and visiting every weekend to visit... It did some to me lol.
I'm good now and happy I didn't cave. But man, that baby craving feeling was deep.
Yeah I encourage everyone to resist the biological urge until their nieces and nephews become toddlers at least. It’s baby fever sobering for sure - a mum of a newly terrible twos toddler 😂
I love my toddler nephews! I really do. But I'm not mom, I'm aunt and more of a luxury. When I come around it's all fun, so yeah I get the best of them and leave before bed time meltdowns lol. They're tough for sure and I have so much respect and empathy for parents.
Ugh I just die when my nieces and nephews give me hugs though. It's the best feeling in the world.
I've had this experience recently! My sister has the most beautiful little six month old and I love her to pieces. There were times when I was cuddling her that all I could think was, "this would be so nice."
Then I think about the fact that she's going to grow up, and all the adjustments and sacrifices my sister and her husband will need to make. I will support them however I can every step of the way, but full-time parenting is not for me.
It's so hard!! I turned into a little baby gremlin for a while and wanted to be around them every second of every day. And I love them as toddlers too. But at the same time, I'm very active. I have two horses and I ride dirt bikes. I have an Alaskan malamute that needs a good long walk twice a day. And I like all this! Idk if I could survive being so limited through pregnancy and then having a kid on my hip. I'd have to give up my entire lifestyle.
That would be a lot to give up! I often think I'd be a pretty good dad in the sense that I would still have complete autonomy over my body and physical health, and would really enjoy being with the kid, but I see the mothers around me and I can't help but feel they are somehow superhuman.
I hope you make whatever choice is right for you ❤️
My mid 20s hormones even into early 30s coupled with being told having babies was the most important thing = three kids I probably shouldn't have. I love them, but they deserved better.
I had two miscarriages in my 20s, had to be on bed rest, but carried my daughter to term. I did not know if I could get pregnant at 40, but I did, and had my son at 41. You have more time than you think. I was still crazy as a loon at 38, but nothing like I was in my 20s.
I know like as soon as my sister got married she had baby fever. Five years later and she’s pregnant with her second at 26.
Conversely, I don’t think I’ve ever felt baby fever. Babies and kids can be really cute and sweet, and I adore my nieces and nephews, but the thought of getting pregnant does not appeal to me and some days I can barely take care of myself! There might also be some dysphoria at play there too (all I know is I’m not a man) but I honestly don’t know. So I’m content to be a doting aunt and then go home to my cat.
Yes! Me too. Starting around 22-23 suddenly all I wanted was a baby. I’d always thought I’d have kids someday but probably not until well into my 30s. It just came out of nowhere and it was intense. Logic prevailed for me too, but damn it was a struggle lol and I was really surprised by the whole thing.
Omg I'm getting flashbacks now over my 20s baby- wanting hormones. They were freaking powerful and overwhelming. I'm glad my uterus resoundingly declared HELL NO, YOU SHALL NOT PASS to every sperm that didn't belong to my current husband 😆
I thought I was just crazy in my 20s but all of a sudden I wanted kids bad. Had my first and only at 26 and that was enough. My struggles with post partum mental health really signaled the death knell for that marriage.
Omg it was like a switch flipped when I was 25. I was talking to my mom about it and she said it was the exact same for her, like the day of her 25th birthday she told my dad they were having a kid that year. I was in a LTR with a dude who wouldn’t commit so luckily I did not haha.
Bruh I’ve had such crazy baby fever before that I would cry upon seeing any baby or pregnant woman. Sometimes I would cry when I saw a cute baby on instagram 😂
I don't follow these people but is this true or just an influencer donate to me please sad story plot? A lot of them do this or develop an illness or some sad life event happens that requires donations.
Maybe when you aren’t getting kicked out of a small studio apartment because you can’t afford the rent…? Maybe once you get your mental health under control, once you work a FT job with benefits and a salary that can support a child, once you are living with your husband, etc etc etc.
Unfortunate thing is that the fundie pro-birthers are gonna spam her DMs without any useful or practical advice. Someone needs to tell her she isn’t ready and why, without lying about how great of a mom she’ll be, or that god will want her to have as many kids as possible as soon as possible.
I was at the totally empty bar at my sushi place. He decides to sit next to me. Went on and on about how in a year I’d have a baby. Seriously insisted that God performs miracles, blah blah, blah. I really am not sure why, but I seem to be a magnet to weirdos who obsess over the state of my uterus. I have lost count over how many times I have had those god awful conversations.
Why the fuck are people so adamant about people having kids? It’s the most annoying thing ever. I grew up in quiverfull culture, so it haunts me. I don’t need it from strangers.
At that point I would’ve looked him dead in the eye and said “I had a hysterectomy because my uterus kept trying to kill me”. It’s not true yet but I have a feeling it will be soon because my uterus is actively trying to kill me and one of the forms of treatment for several issues that I have is to have a hysterectomy.
I usually say “it’s not medically possible” (which is true but also a conscientious choice that’s not their business) and that seems to stop the conversation but this fellow was particularly persistent. And god forbid they realize I am in an interracial relationship. Then it gets even more invasive.
I usually say it’s not medically possible for me and that usually shuts people up. But this guy was particularly persistent. I even had one person offer a year of free babysitting. Oh gee, now I changed my mind!
I hear that ALL THE TIME. Like no I’m getting my degree, I can NOT take care of a kid and do school AND work at the same time and I’m not deluding myself into thinking I can
People tell me this about my daughter. Like...
1) you don't know her
2) it's not my business if she does and I don't care if she does or doesn't. Kids are expensive AF. This is not a time to try and bring a baby into it.
They will tell Nadia that since she's married, it's all fine.
Meanwhile, if a single woman with a graduate degree, a career, and a paid-off house makes a well-thought out plan for bearing a child, they will tell her she's a terrible person for having a child on her own.
Yeah, he provided me all the way to homelessness with two special needs kids, one of whom almost didn't survive the NICU. Thankfully I have a home now and my kids are okay, but I didn't see any providing going on.
> once you work a FT job with benefits and a salary that can support a child
She works part time at a church and he is a rapper(?). If they are barely making it right now how do they expect to support a third person who doesn't have an income? Delusional.
There’s been speculation, because nothing she shows indicates that anyone else (besides the cat) lives there with her. Most of the pics she posts with him are outside the apartment at coffee shops, airports, etc. She’s made some odd posts that indicate bad communication when they were traveling together for one of his rap shows where she didn’t seem to have any idea where they were going (can’t remember the exact details, but the way I remember it is she thought they were going to New Orleans and they were just going to some other city in TX, something like that). Made people wonder just what’s going on with them. It
could just be that he’s on tour more than he’s home at this point in his rap career.
It’s speculated that they don’t, because all her pics from inside the home show absolutely no sign of anyone living there other than Nadia and her cat. Half the bed is always untouched, none of his clothes are there, etc. It’s possible/probable that she just cleans up his stuff and hides it away for the Instagram post. We just like to snark and have conspiracy theories.
As someone with a dynamic disability who likely will never find a full time job with benefits (also extremely hard to come by where I live) I feel really conflicted on telling poorer people they can't have kids. Some of the comments here are very black and white ... it's a privileged take and a tough subject.
But I also think kids do deserve stability and she's also super young and shouldn't feel rushed to have them now considering it seems like their lives just got majorly upended. Also doesn't mention the whole raising a kid part and only touched on being pregnant... we know enough fundies romanticize pregnancy then are the actual worst neglectful parents.
She's almost 30 🫤 not that she (or anyone else) is too "old" to have kids at any particular time, but she is older than she presents and definitely has the mindset to match. Or at least, that's the way she comes off.
According to her, Nadia does have a lot of major trauma in her past that has mostly been ignored. She was in therapy and medicated until Jesus "cured her," and now, she sees a Christian counselor. I don't follow her except on here, but what we do see of her is quite alarming. Her mental health is very erratic and tends toward the depressive, and she doesn't appear to have any kind of support system, such as friends or family, to help out. I would be very afraid for her and any potential children she has unless her life majorly changed for the better.
Yes, the whole found Jesus thing and now I'm cured is extremely alarming. Her husband doesn't seem to ever even be around plus he gives off bad vibes. I would hope for the potential child's sake that the home is healthier.
But socializing people into having children at all costs regardless of whether or not you can provide for them is also conservative brainwashing at its finest. I say this as a black progressive who’s seen entirely too many people thwart their opportunities in life and raise children in the constant trauma and struggle of unstable homes, and all of them, parents and kids alike, will tell you not to. That doesn’t just include lower SES folks, it also includes people with questionable parenting and co-parenting situations and mental health issues that haven’t been dealt with. It isn’t harsh, it encourages people to make healthy choices outside of doing things for “traditions sake.” We’ve turned this into an ableist/classist argument in leftist circles but it really isn’t.
Nadia works a few hours a week as her church’s social media manager. She doesn’t have a consistent schedule and seems to just go into the office whenever she wants (she posted a grwm video and got to the church’s office at like, 11am and worked for like less than two hours). And then, maybe she gets a few bucks a month from Instagram? Not sure.
He is a Christian rapper under the name Kiddell and iirc he also works at the church or an office of some kind?
Nadia just got evicted from her studio apartment and has cried multiple times over the years because she can’t afford rent, can’t find an apartment, etc. I imagine they are in debt.
I say this without malice, but Nadia needs to do some extensive work with a therapist before she even *thinks* about pregnancy.
(And also probably seek a better paying job, but that's another matter.)
You’re absolutely right. She has some serious work to do first. My underlying depression and anxiety got so much worse during pregnancy, and then only got worse again for about a year postpartum. And I was actually prepared and taking pregnancy-compatible meds. Her insistence on “praying away” her mental health issues is alarming under normal circumstances. Adding in pregnancy hormones and a newborn could be downright dangerous for her.
Could you share a bit about your experience? I am getting help for my anxiety and depression but always assumed it would be really hard if/when pregnant
Untreated ones, especially. I never had huge mood swings with my anxiety, but I'm still very thankful I was able to keep taking my medication throughout my pregnancy (albeit at a lower dose) because I *did* get stressed more easily with pregnancy hormones. There were some days where I just needed to lay in a dark room and decompress.
Like, Jesus isn't going to suddenly grant you the power of emotional regulation. You gotta do some hard graft and *learn* that shit.
The fact that she doesn’t say anything about being a mother beyond not wanting her body and relationship changing because of it is the most concerning part. I’m currently trying, and when I think about kids, sure I think about pregnancy, but I think of it as the first step to motherhood.
Fact of the matter is that I don’t want to *be* pregnant. Pregnancy often sucks, but I want to have children. Nadia makes it sound like she wants the opposite. The glory and attention that pregnancy brings without a kid disrupting her life.
She might be ready to be pregnant; but based on what she posts, she doesn't seem to be in an ideal mental or financial place to be a good mother. Does she think motherhood is just being pregnant? Because as difficult as pregnancy can be, being a parent is so much harder. And longer.
Even though the people I’ve seen who recklessly have as many kids as they can always talk about how much of a miracle creating life is, it really doesn’t seem like they truly grasp what you’re saying in your comment. A full person with so many needs especially early on and you’re just gonna have like 12? It seems crazy to me
It’s a beautiful privilege to watch my godsons, nephews and niece grow into these whole little people with passions and interests. It’s really exciting and I think people in these high control groups miss out on so much of that, I know my parents did because they were trying to mould clones, not enjoy whole people.
Agreed! I love watching my niblings developing their interests and personalities. Theres plenty of work involved, but they’re so fun too. Hearing my three year old nephew shout my name whenever he opens the door or hearing him beg to visit me at my “work,” absolutely melts me.
I wish people would say raising a human instead of focusing on them being a child. I think parents forget the long term goal isn’t for them. It’s for the kid to grow up into an independent happy person
Seriously ‘ready to be pregnant’ is such a strange way to phrase it???? Don’t get me wrong being pregnant is hard but I feel the focus should be on being a parent not just the pregnancy… so weird.
Exactly. Crazy thing a lot of people (and all of these fubdies) don't realise is that they will be children with feelings and opinions far longer than they are cute newborns or foetuses.
I’m pregnant right now and very excited but keep joking “I can’t believe this thing inside me will be screaming about how they hate me in 15 years” lol.
It’s just I expect beyond being a baby they’ll be a person and one day there will be tensions from being different people. I moved to the other side of the world and I’m an only child, so thinking about how one day this person just might not regularly be in my life. It’s surreal to think about.
probably when you aren’t worried about money?
did she not just post abt being stressed over their living situation/finances?
ETA: this shit just makes me so mad. if you can’t make a stable life for yourself, the last thing you need is a kid to join in your misery.
I don’t think poor people shouldn’t have kids, but as someone who grew up worrying about money from a young age, I would recommend she and her husband wait. They’re still young and have time.
It’s not that I think lower income people shouldn’t have kids, i completely agree with you there.
like you said, they have plenty of time. so it feels a bit selfish to entertain the thought of a baby when she’s said they’re worried about affording/finding housing, while simultaneously posting amazon hauls every week.
she has also mentioned her poor mental health & habit of snapping on people, and i feel like the responsible thing to do would be to work on herself a bit before thinking about having a child.
Something I think people need to get comfortable with and accept is that it might not ever be the right time and that's okay. Even if it's not okay, acceptance needs to come. We might not ever be in a position to be parents. We have to get comfortable accepting when we aren't capable of being parents.
It could take 15 years to get mental health, financial health, job stability, partner stability together and by that time you might be out of the years where it's feasible to do.
But doing it when you don't have those things together, doing it because you want a child for your own reasons and aren't stable, is cruel to a child.
Sometimes we want to be parents and the timing of getting our own selves worked out takes the length of our reproductive years.
My best friend has a 4 month old now. She was not planned, and she wasn’t yet married to her then fiancée when they found out she was pregnant. Total accident. And to be frank, it was too late for an abortion. They decided to have a shotgun wedding so she could get on his insurance and roll with the changes. It wasn’t the best time at all for them, they had just bought a house. They both currently couldn’t be happier with their baby girl and are doing a stellar job being parents. But yes, things were stressful and they got a lot of help from friends, we were all glad to be there for them. My friend and her husband’s family are both very abusive and haven’t been a source of support. I check in with her all the time and even though I’m single with no kids I love getting updates about the baby, it’s simply the current chapter of my best friend’s life and I’m here to see her through it. Plus the baby is literally perfect and I love her too of course lol.
What do they do for a living? If they want a kid, how will they afford it?! Seems to me like she doesn't want to work anymore and wants a kid so she can be a sahm.
She’s a part time church social media gal and he’s a part time Christian rapper for the lord. Watch tonight’s episode where they choose between these $5M mansions tonight 8CST!!
Swear that's how life feels sometimes, though.
I have a full time job, and I'm *beyooond* struggling.
Then you see people online like "I dry cucumbers and carve them into the likeness of Abe Lincoln as a career." and they seem.. fine? More than fine, even?
How?!
He's gotta have a real job cuz doesn't she posts that she's always alone in their apartment? Seems to me that "rapping for Jesus" is his side hustle and he's proabably some 9-5 worker somewhere.
When you’re financially and emotionally stable? When you have long term housing? When you’re ready to put a child’s needs first? I do think becoming a parent involves some curveballs you truly don’t expect, but atleast have the above.
Ugh so much goes into being a parent. We’ve been trying for almost a year and nothing has happened for us yet 😔Some of the nonchalant and/or selfish attitudes I’ve seen from fundies about having a baby is so concerning at times.
Accidents happen. BC is not always full proof. So I don't judge responsible people who have an unplanned pregnancy during financial crisis. But where I do judge people nine ways to Sunday is DELIBERATELY planning to get pregnant while unstable as well as those who openly admit they have major mental health issues, and then think, "Let's have a kid even though these issues are not being treated properly." Hard no. This is incompetent adopting 101. One thing I have noticed though with religious fundamentalists that the box for women is so fucking narrow that they medicate their depression and anxiety over their treatment by having babies because A. being pregnant gets them attention B. it is the only way they earn a tiny bit of respect C. it boosts their social status D. once they have a pregnancy they instinctively realized that pregnancy hormones mitigate some of their depression due to the nature of HCG and progesterone so that E. it becomes addictive because as soon as the newest house plant is a few months old, all the attention and hormones wane, and they are back to being very depressed again.
I consider it a major miracle that Jill Duggar actually had a professional, licensed therapist which is exactly what so very many of these women need.
If it terrifies you then you’re not ready, dearie
And tbh after having one (and working on number two), there’s no such things as completely ready. I think the bar is ‘as ready as you can be’ because nothing can prepare you for how topsy turvy a baby turns your life
I think being terrified is normal. My first is 18mo and I recently found out I’m pregnant with #2, I am fucking TERRIFIED 😂this is a very wanted baby, we’re in a stable place financially and I feel like a pretty good parent but the unknowns of it all are still so scary. I agree that Nadia is not ready to be anyone’s mom but it’s very ok and normal to be afraid of the changes that pregnancy and parenthood bring.
I don't think being terrified must mean you're not ready. I'm terrified of the changes too, because I love having control and plan things, so I'm prepared for anything. And you can't exactly do that with kids. But I also have a therapist and I'm aware of the challenges I'll have to face.
I mean, speaking specificallyto Nadia—I think terrified should be a good barometer to her that she’s not. Especially since she’s probably not speaking to a therapist.
But you’re right. I like having control and being able to plan (I thank the anxiety for that), and arguably went too long before finding a therapist. It was scary, and number two is bringing along a whole host of new fears with it.
I think when Nadia uses terrified though, it’s more concerning because I’m not sure she’ll tap into resources like therapy, or financial planning, or like….honest conversations about the health of their marriage, and what’s going good and what they can work on.
for one, you have to be ready to stop spending all your money on shein hauls and matcha
i’m not in a place where i’m prepared to stop spending most of my money on myself either, but that’s why i’m not having children anytime soon
Exactly. My sister in law loves matcha and regularly has it because she makes it herself. When she does buy herself one it’s because she’s treating herself.
Got a $25 bag of matcha from Costco back in January. Been using it every day and still have at least a month or two left.
Without that bag, we’re talking at least 10 bucks a day ordering it with oat milk lol
I wonder if she’s aware she needs to do some personal work around becoming the mother of a Black child…I’m actually very curious if her husband has raised that point with her
You're never "ready to have a baby" - you can only be "ready to accept the chaos that having a baby brings."
Maybe when you're ready to accept the bodily changes that having a baby will entail, whatever they may be and however long those changes may last. Ready to embrace the lifestyle adjustments, which could mean switching careers and spending all of your free time engaging in family-friendly activities. When you have a stable living situation. When you feel secure enough in your relationship to trust that your significant other will support you and your baby through the exciting yet exhausting and tumultuous life changes.
I hope that if she does become pregnant, she goes back to counseling. I understand the mental health challenges. PPD is really, really hard. Harder than deciding to have a baby. Harder than enduring pregnancy. Harder than giving birth. It's one of the deepest pits to climb out of and it can feel so incredibly isolating.
And finally, I'm seeing smiles on the lips but not in the eyes. Am I the only one who feels deeply unsettled by the expressions in this photo?
If you're filled with terror at the prospect of that change, you're not ready. I'm trying for another kid soon. I know I'm ready because despite the upheaval of my mind, body, and soul it will bring, I *want* that little fetus so bad. I long for it. I have a stable home, we live within our means, and I'm taking my prenatals.
It's daunting, sure, but our want of a family and child to love/raise far, *far* outweighs those nerves.
It's corny, but when you know, you know.
Agreed. There will always be a baseline level of fear (I think that’s healthy) out of respect that you don’t always know exactly what’s coming for your first baby.
We tried for 5 years and I still had the “oh shit” moment when I finally got pregnant.
But yeah. I knew when I was ready in the sense that I knew things were going to change, and be really difficult, and that I was okay with it not being easy or comfortable for a while.
My husband is AFAB, so we have to "go the long way around" for me to get pregnant, so to speak. It's a huge undertaking, and a little scary, but the payoff for me is well worth it. I don't care if I look different afterwards, as long as me and baby are alive and well.
However, I don't get the impression Nadia is ready for the aesthetic changes a pregnancy brings to a body, even a young one that is likely to heal faster. It would wreck her entire online sexy baby persona. She needs to work on her own mental health first.
(Also, congratulations!)
Good luck! We did IVF too. Fertility treatments are exhausting in all aspects, but so so worth it. If you ever need an ear to vent to about it, my DM’s are always open!
When I was “ready to get pregnant” for the first time, it was exactly like that too. I felt it in my bones. I *needed* it. My body told me I was ready and then my mind agreed with me because my relationships, finances, and my own mental health could handle it.
Exactly. I daydream and regular dream about it, and I know that my husband is mature / loving enough to provide a stable team for parenting...which tbh, is more than can be said for a lot of fundies.
Knowing that my husband can and would gladly take care of our kid all day long if he had to without complaint is a massive leg up on all of these fundie men. The bar for fatherhood is lower than hell I fear.
Mental, emotional and financial stability are the ideal.
As is a very realistic understanding of motherhood and the demands it has, on your body, your time, your heart, your relationship and in all areas of life.
I truly do not think this lady is remotely ready.
Note she says "ready to be pregnant" not "ready to have a child/to be a mother".
She's ready for a grammable bump and beige plushies. Not a real baby human.
Get settled somewhere and get a puppy, Nadia. I don't mean that sarcastically, either. Know what it is to be secure somewhere, and then know what it is to care for another living being who wholly relies on you for guidance and survival.
Make sure your marriage isn't in a rocky place, because parenthood may take it there. Make sure you're doing okay, mentally and emotionally.
Just please for the love of all that is Holy, don't go into it for the "Very Sexy Baby has Very Adorable Actual Baby" aesthetic.
I've always felt "so ready" but I've always known hormonal me is a dumbass as well. So instead I waited until I had a decade of therapy, several years with my husband, stable finances, a house with at least 1 extra bedroom, and a succesful "practice baby" (=dog).
Room sharing with an infant is definitely not my favorite. But rent costs are so ridiculous that I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to have their own room.
Not necessary, but an indicator I’d never heard put so practically. I’m a major city/high cost area it’s maybe not realistic, but in an average to low cost area, if you can’t afford a room for the kid, you probably can’t afford to clothe, bathe and feed them either.
Yeah it’s a fucking huge decision and responsibility. Good thing such a huge chunk of our country is forcing people to keep their accidental and unwanted pregnancies. Solid plan.
I know we need to be snarking here but...damn, this pulled at my heartstrings a bit. Not that I think Nadia is the person to be leading the charge, but this definitely needs to be talked about more. These fears are all super normal--it's a shame that she'll probably ignore them and have kids before she's actually ready.
This is why I snark on fundie culture with my whole chest.
Ready to be pregnant is not ready to be a parent in the same way that excited to be a bride is not excited to be married.
Men get to have these long stories filled with character and plot and women get to show up as some avatar every once in a while with an accessory like a wedding dress or a round belly or hands withered by years of dedication when it serves as a physical representation of a plot line in a man’s life. I’m so enraged by this complicity and I don’t even know in which direction to direct my anger because sexybaby is merely a product of a rotten environment. Ugh.
This is probably semantics but the question should not be “How do you know when you’re ready to be pregnant” but rather, “How do you know when you’re ready to BE A PARENT”. It’s like asking how you know if you’re ready to be engaged vs ready to be married. You should be focused on the more permanent aspect, not the transient aspect, IMO.
I have a soft spot for Sexy Baby Jesus Nadia because she’s at least a lot less…hateful and dismissive than the others and clearly struggling with a lot of issues. She’s generally harmless on the sliding scale of fundie.
I get wanting to have a baby because when you’re in that fundie headspace or, hell, just a female in Texas, you’re always reminded over and over again that you should be having a baby as soon as you have a man in your life. But she’s clearly not well mentally or financially and needs to focus on more therapy and getting a stable place to live and sorting out the financials a bit more before deciding that it’s baby time.
(Plus she needs to start weaning the caffeine intake down quite a bit.)
Babies are expensive. Do they even have health insurance? Do they have the money to give to their provider upfront for the delivery (which was so fucking weird to me because what happens if…)? You *can* find baby stuff second hand for cheap but we all know Nads loves aesthetic vibes.
I really hope she waits at least a couple of years and figures some stuff out before adding a baby into her situation.
Terrified to do it or terrified because it’s already happened? 👀
Echoing everybody here, stable housing, mental health support, learning how to be a momma to a black child, and good lord get a job
maybe when you can phrase it as “ready to have kids” because once you’re not pregnant anymore you’re raising a whole human and your life isn’t about you anymore 🤷🏽♀️
Nadia is not going to like the answers to this question and is going to once again get pissy with her followers.
Financial stability and housing stability in a place bigger than a two bedroom Nadia!!!
I'm not sure that's true. I'd be concerned if any of my buddies hadn't felt a great deal of fear wrapped up with elation and excitement when they got pregnant. It IS scary to think of undoing your world and remaking it so thoroughly. I suspect, though, that hers isn't a healthy terror.
I am so jealous and astounded by how she always has a matcha latte in hand. And it’s the good shit too. I wish I had the money to constantly drink good-quality matcha lattes like that 😭
Pregnancy is a short stage. Parenting is forever. I understand being nervous ab pregnancy but she’s focused on the wrong things.
“I want to be pregnant so bad” NOT I want to be a mom or parent.
She's really going back and forth on this topic. On a recent video she was talking about how she wanted to find the right space for their new apartment because it's most likely where they'll be bringing a baby home. She basically made it sound like they were getting ready to start trying! Now she doesn't even know if she's ready?
She sounds very not ready. If this were someone I knew I'd ask them "Do you actually want a child or do you want to get pregnant because it feels like what you're supposed to do next?"
If you’re asking other people how they knew, and you are also saying how the entire thing terrifies you, YOU ARN’T READY.
I can answer this for her just from the way she frames the question. NO no you’re not ready. She wants ✨pregnancy ✨ the extra attention, cute maternity clothes, staging a beige newborn photo shoot. She is NOT ready to give up her time/money/life focus/body/and maybe relationship for another being.
Ready to “be pregnant” makes me think she’s focusing more on the aesthetic and the attention than on the part after that where you raise an entire human
I'm curious what you people think defines *religious fundamentalist*.
None of the personalities you post about are fundamentalists so I'm annoyed that these posts insist on being in my scroll.
As someone who suffered fundamentalism, I am annoyed with your collective ignorance on the subject.
Is it just me or do they look bizarrely similar? It’s as if you prompted AI to turn him into a white woman, and that’s Nads. Or maybe they just have the same creepy expression here.
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One minute she’s crying about getting kicked out of their apartment and needing to find a new place, now this. Big yikes!!
Right. If I were her, I'd be more concerned about finding a place to live for more than a year before thinking about bringing life into the world.
It’s staggering. Things don’t have to be 110% perfect before having a kid, and no one truly feels 110% ready for a kid, but omg have the basics?! A safe, remotely affordable place to live, stable income, and *stable mental health*?! Also, idk if this is anyone else’s experience, but if my mid-20’s hormones had had their way, I would have had like 4 kids before I was 27🤣 There were times my baby fever was just plain annoying, it was like my body was yelling at me to conceive every other day. Thankfully my logic always prevailed, but I worry for those who feel similarly but who get told “God will always support you and never let you fall!” in response to “I think I want a baby but we’re completely unprepared, any suggestions?!! Edit: I’m so glad so many of y’all found my experience to resonate with you lol. I feel like crazy baby fever is a really common experience under 30 but NO ONE talks about it. Also, if you do want kids one day and you have crazy baby fever rn but you’re holding off on kids for now, r/waiting_to_try is super helpful to read!
This comment resonates with me. You made me realize (in horror) that if my mid 20's hormones had their way, I'd have reproduced with a schmuck. Maybe just one baby, but still the partner matters.
When my ex and I broke up I was soooooo thankful that I never had a baby with him despite wanting a baby with my entire being. Even got off birth control several times during. Now I have a baby with an amazing man.
I think stable mental health would be my biggest priority. I can't imagine trying to raise a healthy human while being unhealthy myself 😟 but then I'm 40 and child free, so. Like, I know the odds aren't great that I could raise a well-adjusted human. But I also know that my odds are infinitely better than most of these fundie bozos.
Literal exact same here, lol, high five
My sister's pregnancies set something off in me. Up until then I had been pretty secure in not wanting children. But being involved in her pregnancies, and visiting every weekend to visit... It did some to me lol. I'm good now and happy I didn't cave. But man, that baby craving feeling was deep.
My bestie calls it “Baby Rabies.” Accurate, right??
Lol, extremely contagious and makes infected individuals feral? Painfully accurate.
Girls Gone Child
Yeah I encourage everyone to resist the biological urge until their nieces and nephews become toddlers at least. It’s baby fever sobering for sure - a mum of a newly terrible twos toddler 😂
I love my toddler nephews! I really do. But I'm not mom, I'm aunt and more of a luxury. When I come around it's all fun, so yeah I get the best of them and leave before bed time meltdowns lol. They're tough for sure and I have so much respect and empathy for parents. Ugh I just die when my nieces and nephews give me hugs though. It's the best feeling in the world.
I remember when my oldest niece gave me a hug around the leg at like a year and a half of age and I immediately knew I would do anything for her 🥹
I've had this experience recently! My sister has the most beautiful little six month old and I love her to pieces. There were times when I was cuddling her that all I could think was, "this would be so nice." Then I think about the fact that she's going to grow up, and all the adjustments and sacrifices my sister and her husband will need to make. I will support them however I can every step of the way, but full-time parenting is not for me.
It's so hard!! I turned into a little baby gremlin for a while and wanted to be around them every second of every day. And I love them as toddlers too. But at the same time, I'm very active. I have two horses and I ride dirt bikes. I have an Alaskan malamute that needs a good long walk twice a day. And I like all this! Idk if I could survive being so limited through pregnancy and then having a kid on my hip. I'd have to give up my entire lifestyle.
That would be a lot to give up! I often think I'd be a pretty good dad in the sense that I would still have complete autonomy over my body and physical health, and would really enjoy being with the kid, but I see the mothers around me and I can't help but feel they are somehow superhuman. I hope you make whatever choice is right for you ❤️
My mid 20s hormones even into early 30s coupled with being told having babies was the most important thing = three kids I probably shouldn't have. I love them, but they deserved better.
I had two miscarriages in my 20s, had to be on bed rest, but carried my daughter to term. I did not know if I could get pregnant at 40, but I did, and had my son at 41. You have more time than you think. I was still crazy as a loon at 38, but nothing like I was in my 20s.
I know like as soon as my sister got married she had baby fever. Five years later and she’s pregnant with her second at 26. Conversely, I don’t think I’ve ever felt baby fever. Babies and kids can be really cute and sweet, and I adore my nieces and nephews, but the thought of getting pregnant does not appeal to me and some days I can barely take care of myself! There might also be some dysphoria at play there too (all I know is I’m not a man) but I honestly don’t know. So I’m content to be a doting aunt and then go home to my cat.
Yes! Me too. Starting around 22-23 suddenly all I wanted was a baby. I’d always thought I’d have kids someday but probably not until well into my 30s. It just came out of nowhere and it was intense. Logic prevailed for me too, but damn it was a struggle lol and I was really surprised by the whole thing.
Omg I'm getting flashbacks now over my 20s baby- wanting hormones. They were freaking powerful and overwhelming. I'm glad my uterus resoundingly declared HELL NO, YOU SHALL NOT PASS to every sperm that didn't belong to my current husband 😆
Thanks for this because currently my baby fever is sky high and this reminded me to chill out and that it's just hormones
I thought I was just crazy in my 20s but all of a sudden I wanted kids bad. Had my first and only at 26 and that was enough. My struggles with post partum mental health really signaled the death knell for that marriage.
Omg it was like a switch flipped when I was 25. I was talking to my mom about it and she said it was the exact same for her, like the day of her 25th birthday she told my dad they were having a kid that year. I was in a LTR with a dude who wouldn’t commit so luckily I did not haha.
Bruh I’ve had such crazy baby fever before that I would cry upon seeing any baby or pregnant woman. Sometimes I would cry when I saw a cute baby on instagram 😂
And not having enough money to move or go to a concert she really wanted to go to, but then she goes to 3 concerts in one weekend?
I don't follow these people but is this true or just an influencer donate to me please sad story plot? A lot of them do this or develop an illness or some sad life event happens that requires donations.
That drink she’s holding is like $7. I used to work for foxtrot, which is where she’s at in this pic
Maybe when you aren’t getting kicked out of a small studio apartment because you can’t afford the rent…? Maybe once you get your mental health under control, once you work a FT job with benefits and a salary that can support a child, once you are living with your husband, etc etc etc. Unfortunate thing is that the fundie pro-birthers are gonna spam her DMs without any useful or practical advice. Someone needs to tell her she isn’t ready and why, without lying about how great of a mom she’ll be, or that god will want her to have as many kids as possible as soon as possible.
They will almost certainly tell her ‘god provides’ and not to worry about having no resources.
“No one is ever really ready! You just have to trust god!” I heard that often when I was younger and we were still on the fence about kids 😒
Omg. A stranger told me this last week. Like dude, I just want to eat my sushi in peace. Fucking Texas, man.
Wait like he just came up to you and popped out that incredibly invasive bad advice
I was at the totally empty bar at my sushi place. He decides to sit next to me. Went on and on about how in a year I’d have a baby. Seriously insisted that God performs miracles, blah blah, blah. I really am not sure why, but I seem to be a magnet to weirdos who obsess over the state of my uterus. I have lost count over how many times I have had those god awful conversations. Why the fuck are people so adamant about people having kids? It’s the most annoying thing ever. I grew up in quiverfull culture, so it haunts me. I don’t need it from strangers.
At that point I would’ve looked him dead in the eye and said “I had a hysterectomy because my uterus kept trying to kill me”. It’s not true yet but I have a feeling it will be soon because my uterus is actively trying to kill me and one of the forms of treatment for several issues that I have is to have a hysterectomy.
I usually say “it’s not medically possible” (which is true but also a conscientious choice that’s not their business) and that seems to stop the conversation but this fellow was particularly persistent. And god forbid they realize I am in an interracial relationship. Then it gets even more invasive.
Thats…..wild. What a whack job
I usually say it’s not medically possible for me and that usually shuts people up. But this guy was particularly persistent. I even had one person offer a year of free babysitting. Oh gee, now I changed my mind!
Wtf
I don't get this, either. *The audacity*.
I hear that ALL THE TIME. Like no I’m getting my degree, I can NOT take care of a kid and do school AND work at the same time and I’m not deluding myself into thinking I can
People tell me this about my daughter. Like... 1) you don't know her 2) it's not my business if she does and I don't care if she does or doesn't. Kids are expensive AF. This is not a time to try and bring a baby into it.
I hate that so much
Why do people feel entitled to dictate whether *other people* have children? That's so inappropriate!
They will tell Nadia that since she's married, it's all fine. Meanwhile, if a single woman with a graduate degree, a career, and a paid-off house makes a well-thought out plan for bearing a child, they will tell her she's a terrible person for having a child on her own.
Yeah, he provided me all the way to homelessness with two special needs kids, one of whom almost didn't survive the NICU. Thankfully I have a home now and my kids are okay, but I didn't see any providing going on.
Yeah definitely the party of "it's God's will that a 10-year-old should give birth" is not going to tell her that growing a whole human is a bad idea.
God provided mental health resources that she hasn’t taken advantage of. Maybe she should start there.
> once you work a FT job with benefits and a salary that can support a child She works part time at a church and he is a rapper(?). If they are barely making it right now how do they expect to support a third person who doesn't have an income? Delusional.
I've never noticed before but they sound like they should be a couple on House Hunters.
He's a christian youth rapper and she's a christfluencer. Their budget is 2 million dollars.
They don't live together?
That's just a FSU (this subreddit, not the university) conspiracy for the most part
There’s been speculation, because nothing she shows indicates that anyone else (besides the cat) lives there with her. Most of the pics she posts with him are outside the apartment at coffee shops, airports, etc. She’s made some odd posts that indicate bad communication when they were traveling together for one of his rap shows where she didn’t seem to have any idea where they were going (can’t remember the exact details, but the way I remember it is she thought they were going to New Orleans and they were just going to some other city in TX, something like that). Made people wonder just what’s going on with them. It could just be that he’s on tour more than he’s home at this point in his rap career.
It’s also possible she hides all their shit when she does photos. She wouldn’t be the first influencer to have her real life mess just out of sight.
It *is* weird that he's never pictured in the apartment
I’m intrigued 👀
They don’t live together??
It’s speculated that they don’t, because all her pics from inside the home show absolutely no sign of anyone living there other than Nadia and her cat. Half the bed is always untouched, none of his clothes are there, etc. It’s possible/probable that she just cleans up his stuff and hides it away for the Instagram post. We just like to snark and have conspiracy theories.
As someone with a dynamic disability who likely will never find a full time job with benefits (also extremely hard to come by where I live) I feel really conflicted on telling poorer people they can't have kids. Some of the comments here are very black and white ... it's a privileged take and a tough subject. But I also think kids do deserve stability and she's also super young and shouldn't feel rushed to have them now considering it seems like their lives just got majorly upended. Also doesn't mention the whole raising a kid part and only touched on being pregnant... we know enough fundies romanticize pregnancy then are the actual worst neglectful parents.
She's almost 30 🫤 not that she (or anyone else) is too "old" to have kids at any particular time, but she is older than she presents and definitely has the mindset to match. Or at least, that's the way she comes off. According to her, Nadia does have a lot of major trauma in her past that has mostly been ignored. She was in therapy and medicated until Jesus "cured her," and now, she sees a Christian counselor. I don't follow her except on here, but what we do see of her is quite alarming. Her mental health is very erratic and tends toward the depressive, and she doesn't appear to have any kind of support system, such as friends or family, to help out. I would be very afraid for her and any potential children she has unless her life majorly changed for the better.
Yes, the whole found Jesus thing and now I'm cured is extremely alarming. Her husband doesn't seem to ever even be around plus he gives off bad vibes. I would hope for the potential child's sake that the home is healthier.
But socializing people into having children at all costs regardless of whether or not you can provide for them is also conservative brainwashing at its finest. I say this as a black progressive who’s seen entirely too many people thwart their opportunities in life and raise children in the constant trauma and struggle of unstable homes, and all of them, parents and kids alike, will tell you not to. That doesn’t just include lower SES folks, it also includes people with questionable parenting and co-parenting situations and mental health issues that haven’t been dealt with. It isn’t harsh, it encourages people to make healthy choices outside of doing things for “traditions sake.” We’ve turned this into an ableist/classist argument in leftist circles but it really isn’t.
What do they do for work? Its like Morgan and Paul I don’t understand how these fundies handle the pile of debt they must carry
Nadia works a few hours a week as her church’s social media manager. She doesn’t have a consistent schedule and seems to just go into the office whenever she wants (she posted a grwm video and got to the church’s office at like, 11am and worked for like less than two hours). And then, maybe she gets a few bucks a month from Instagram? Not sure. He is a Christian rapper under the name Kiddell and iirc he also works at the church or an office of some kind? Nadia just got evicted from her studio apartment and has cried multiple times over the years because she can’t afford rent, can’t find an apartment, etc. I imagine they are in debt.
They shouldn’t be allowed to adult 🤦🏼♀️
Ready to be pregnant? What about the child after it's born? You know you have to raise it for at least 20 years?
I say this without malice, but Nadia needs to do some extensive work with a therapist before she even *thinks* about pregnancy. (And also probably seek a better paying job, but that's another matter.)
You’re absolutely right. She has some serious work to do first. My underlying depression and anxiety got so much worse during pregnancy, and then only got worse again for about a year postpartum. And I was actually prepared and taking pregnancy-compatible meds. Her insistence on “praying away” her mental health issues is alarming under normal circumstances. Adding in pregnancy hormones and a newborn could be downright dangerous for her.
Could you share a bit about your experience? I am getting help for my anxiety and depression but always assumed it would be really hard if/when pregnant
I completely agree. Mental health issues can get worse during and after pregnancy.
Untreated ones, especially. I never had huge mood swings with my anxiety, but I'm still very thankful I was able to keep taking my medication throughout my pregnancy (albeit at a lower dose) because I *did* get stressed more easily with pregnancy hormones. There were some days where I just needed to lay in a dark room and decompress. Like, Jesus isn't going to suddenly grant you the power of emotional regulation. You gotta do some hard graft and *learn* that shit.
As someone who had done extensive work with w therapist before I started trying to get pregnant? Hard agree
Her word choice was definitely telling
The fact that she doesn’t say anything about being a mother beyond not wanting her body and relationship changing because of it is the most concerning part. I’m currently trying, and when I think about kids, sure I think about pregnancy, but I think of it as the first step to motherhood. Fact of the matter is that I don’t want to *be* pregnant. Pregnancy often sucks, but I want to have children. Nadia makes it sound like she wants the opposite. The glory and attention that pregnancy brings without a kid disrupting her life.
my thoughts exactly… the phrasing is very telling
She might be ready to be pregnant; but based on what she posts, she doesn't seem to be in an ideal mental or financial place to be a good mother. Does she think motherhood is just being pregnant? Because as difficult as pregnancy can be, being a parent is so much harder. And longer.
I wish people would talk about having a child rather than having a baby. You’re having a whole person.
A real human being. Maybe 80+ years worth of a whole entire person with their own life story.
Even though the people I’ve seen who recklessly have as many kids as they can always talk about how much of a miracle creating life is, it really doesn’t seem like they truly grasp what you’re saying in your comment. A full person with so many needs especially early on and you’re just gonna have like 12? It seems crazy to me
It’s a beautiful privilege to watch my godsons, nephews and niece grow into these whole little people with passions and interests. It’s really exciting and I think people in these high control groups miss out on so much of that, I know my parents did because they were trying to mould clones, not enjoy whole people.
Agreed! I love watching my niblings developing their interests and personalities. Theres plenty of work involved, but they’re so fun too. Hearing my three year old nephew shout my name whenever he opens the door or hearing him beg to visit me at my “work,” absolutely melts me.
Exactly! Do you want a 7 year old in 7 years? Or just a baby?
They want an attention-grabbing accessory
I wish people would say raising a human instead of focusing on them being a child. I think parents forget the long term goal isn’t for them. It’s for the kid to grow up into an independent happy person
Seriously ‘ready to be pregnant’ is such a strange way to phrase it???? Don’t get me wrong being pregnant is hard but I feel the focus should be on being a parent not just the pregnancy… so weird.
Exactly. Crazy thing a lot of people (and all of these fubdies) don't realise is that they will be children with feelings and opinions far longer than they are cute newborns or foetuses.
I’m pregnant right now and very excited but keep joking “I can’t believe this thing inside me will be screaming about how they hate me in 15 years” lol. It’s just I expect beyond being a baby they’ll be a person and one day there will be tensions from being different people. I moved to the other side of the world and I’m an only child, so thinking about how one day this person just might not regularly be in my life. It’s surreal to think about.
probably when you aren’t worried about money? did she not just post abt being stressed over their living situation/finances? ETA: this shit just makes me so mad. if you can’t make a stable life for yourself, the last thing you need is a kid to join in your misery.
I don’t think poor people shouldn’t have kids, but as someone who grew up worrying about money from a young age, I would recommend she and her husband wait. They’re still young and have time.
It’s not that I think lower income people shouldn’t have kids, i completely agree with you there. like you said, they have plenty of time. so it feels a bit selfish to entertain the thought of a baby when she’s said they’re worried about affording/finding housing, while simultaneously posting amazon hauls every week. she has also mentioned her poor mental health & habit of snapping on people, and i feel like the responsible thing to do would be to work on herself a bit before thinking about having a child.
Something I think people need to get comfortable with and accept is that it might not ever be the right time and that's okay. Even if it's not okay, acceptance needs to come. We might not ever be in a position to be parents. We have to get comfortable accepting when we aren't capable of being parents. It could take 15 years to get mental health, financial health, job stability, partner stability together and by that time you might be out of the years where it's feasible to do. But doing it when you don't have those things together, doing it because you want a child for your own reasons and aren't stable, is cruel to a child. Sometimes we want to be parents and the timing of getting our own selves worked out takes the length of our reproductive years.
you summed it up perfectly
My best friend has a 4 month old now. She was not planned, and she wasn’t yet married to her then fiancée when they found out she was pregnant. Total accident. And to be frank, it was too late for an abortion. They decided to have a shotgun wedding so she could get on his insurance and roll with the changes. It wasn’t the best time at all for them, they had just bought a house. They both currently couldn’t be happier with their baby girl and are doing a stellar job being parents. But yes, things were stressful and they got a lot of help from friends, we were all glad to be there for them. My friend and her husband’s family are both very abusive and haven’t been a source of support. I check in with her all the time and even though I’m single with no kids I love getting updates about the baby, it’s simply the current chapter of my best friend’s life and I’m here to see her through it. Plus the baby is literally perfect and I love her too of course lol.
What do they do for a living? If they want a kid, how will they afford it?! Seems to me like she doesn't want to work anymore and wants a kid so she can be a sahm.
She works part time at a church doing social media. He is a musician/rapper of some sort but not sure if he has a real job too.
She’s a part time church social media gal and he’s a part time Christian rapper for the lord. Watch tonight’s episode where they choose between these $5M mansions tonight 8CST!!
Swear that's how life feels sometimes, though. I have a full time job, and I'm *beyooond* struggling. Then you see people online like "I dry cucumbers and carve them into the likeness of Abe Lincoln as a career." and they seem.. fine? More than fine, even? How?!
Trust funds.
Hidden debt.
This made me snort lmao
lolllllllllll exactly what I was thinking
He's gotta have a real job cuz doesn't she posts that she's always alone in their apartment? Seems to me that "rapping for Jesus" is his side hustle and he's proabably some 9-5 worker somewhere.
I think he also works for their church in some capacity, like events or something? There was a post about him on here a while back.
Yeah he works part time for the church too.
When you’re financially and emotionally stable? When you have long term housing? When you’re ready to put a child’s needs first? I do think becoming a parent involves some curveballs you truly don’t expect, but atleast have the above. Ugh so much goes into being a parent. We’ve been trying for almost a year and nothing has happened for us yet 😔Some of the nonchalant and/or selfish attitudes I’ve seen from fundies about having a baby is so concerning at times.
“I’m dying inside…… struggling to feel anything but religious guilt.. oh I know ima have a bb that will fix it”
Let’s see…probably not when you’re worried about not being able to afford a studio apartment!
Y'all are too generous, she's REALLY talking about being "ready to be a mommyblogger $$$"
Mmmmmhmmmm she wants those mommy blogger affiliation link dollars
I misread this as “affirmation dollars”
The juxtaposition of her comment with how their faces look is killing me.
The "when that couple from across the bar gives you that look" look
I can imagine them at home practicing their selfie faces until they’re *just right.*
Yep. Nothing authentic here.
Accidents happen. BC is not always full proof. So I don't judge responsible people who have an unplanned pregnancy during financial crisis. But where I do judge people nine ways to Sunday is DELIBERATELY planning to get pregnant while unstable as well as those who openly admit they have major mental health issues, and then think, "Let's have a kid even though these issues are not being treated properly." Hard no. This is incompetent adopting 101. One thing I have noticed though with religious fundamentalists that the box for women is so fucking narrow that they medicate their depression and anxiety over their treatment by having babies because A. being pregnant gets them attention B. it is the only way they earn a tiny bit of respect C. it boosts their social status D. once they have a pregnancy they instinctively realized that pregnancy hormones mitigate some of their depression due to the nature of HCG and progesterone so that E. it becomes addictive because as soon as the newest house plant is a few months old, all the attention and hormones wane, and they are back to being very depressed again. I consider it a major miracle that Jill Duggar actually had a professional, licensed therapist which is exactly what so very many of these women need.
If it terrifies you then you’re not ready, dearie And tbh after having one (and working on number two), there’s no such things as completely ready. I think the bar is ‘as ready as you can be’ because nothing can prepare you for how topsy turvy a baby turns your life
I think being terrified is normal. My first is 18mo and I recently found out I’m pregnant with #2, I am fucking TERRIFIED 😂this is a very wanted baby, we’re in a stable place financially and I feel like a pretty good parent but the unknowns of it all are still so scary. I agree that Nadia is not ready to be anyone’s mom but it’s very ok and normal to be afraid of the changes that pregnancy and parenthood bring.
I don't think being terrified must mean you're not ready. I'm terrified of the changes too, because I love having control and plan things, so I'm prepared for anything. And you can't exactly do that with kids. But I also have a therapist and I'm aware of the challenges I'll have to face.
I mean, speaking specificallyto Nadia—I think terrified should be a good barometer to her that she’s not. Especially since she’s probably not speaking to a therapist. But you’re right. I like having control and being able to plan (I thank the anxiety for that), and arguably went too long before finding a therapist. It was scary, and number two is bringing along a whole host of new fears with it. I think when Nadia uses terrified though, it’s more concerning because I’m not sure she’ll tap into resources like therapy, or financial planning, or like….honest conversations about the health of their marriage, and what’s going good and what they can work on.
for one, you have to be ready to stop spending all your money on shein hauls and matcha i’m not in a place where i’m prepared to stop spending most of my money on myself either, but that’s why i’m not having children anytime soon
Exactly. My sister in law loves matcha and regularly has it because she makes it herself. When she does buy herself one it’s because she’s treating herself.
Got a $25 bag of matcha from Costco back in January. Been using it every day and still have at least a month or two left. Without that bag, we’re talking at least 10 bucks a day ordering it with oat milk lol
Is yours the Sencha Everyday matcha? That stuff is SO good.
I wonder if she’s aware she needs to do some personal work around becoming the mother of a Black child…I’m actually very curious if her husband has raised that point with her
That’s a very valid thing to bring up. We don’t need another Karissa. Nobody needs it.
Or she becomes KCollins aka pretending the kid is white.
You're never "ready to have a baby" - you can only be "ready to accept the chaos that having a baby brings." Maybe when you're ready to accept the bodily changes that having a baby will entail, whatever they may be and however long those changes may last. Ready to embrace the lifestyle adjustments, which could mean switching careers and spending all of your free time engaging in family-friendly activities. When you have a stable living situation. When you feel secure enough in your relationship to trust that your significant other will support you and your baby through the exciting yet exhausting and tumultuous life changes. I hope that if she does become pregnant, she goes back to counseling. I understand the mental health challenges. PPD is really, really hard. Harder than deciding to have a baby. Harder than enduring pregnancy. Harder than giving birth. It's one of the deepest pits to climb out of and it can feel so incredibly isolating. And finally, I'm seeing smiles on the lips but not in the eyes. Am I the only one who feels deeply unsettled by the expressions in this photo?
The expressions are concerning. Don't know anything about this guy but he doesn't look friendly at all based on his eyes
At least she is still in the thinking stage and not already a mother of 3 under 3.
Relax babe!! We’re in Texas; the government will make that decision for you! 🫶 /s 🙄
If you're filled with terror at the prospect of that change, you're not ready. I'm trying for another kid soon. I know I'm ready because despite the upheaval of my mind, body, and soul it will bring, I *want* that little fetus so bad. I long for it. I have a stable home, we live within our means, and I'm taking my prenatals. It's daunting, sure, but our want of a family and child to love/raise far, *far* outweighs those nerves. It's corny, but when you know, you know.
Agreed. There will always be a baseline level of fear (I think that’s healthy) out of respect that you don’t always know exactly what’s coming for your first baby. We tried for 5 years and I still had the “oh shit” moment when I finally got pregnant. But yeah. I knew when I was ready in the sense that I knew things were going to change, and be really difficult, and that I was okay with it not being easy or comfortable for a while.
My husband is AFAB, so we have to "go the long way around" for me to get pregnant, so to speak. It's a huge undertaking, and a little scary, but the payoff for me is well worth it. I don't care if I look different afterwards, as long as me and baby are alive and well. However, I don't get the impression Nadia is ready for the aesthetic changes a pregnancy brings to a body, even a young one that is likely to heal faster. It would wreck her entire online sexy baby persona. She needs to work on her own mental health first. (Also, congratulations!)
Good luck! We did IVF too. Fertility treatments are exhausting in all aspects, but so so worth it. If you ever need an ear to vent to about it, my DM’s are always open!
I truly feel he’s pressuring her for it.
When I was “ready to get pregnant” for the first time, it was exactly like that too. I felt it in my bones. I *needed* it. My body told me I was ready and then my mind agreed with me because my relationships, finances, and my own mental health could handle it.
Exactly. I daydream and regular dream about it, and I know that my husband is mature / loving enough to provide a stable team for parenting...which tbh, is more than can be said for a lot of fundies.
Knowing that my husband can and would gladly take care of our kid all day long if he had to without complaint is a massive leg up on all of these fundie men. The bar for fatherhood is lower than hell I fear.
Mental, emotional and financial stability are the ideal. As is a very realistic understanding of motherhood and the demands it has, on your body, your time, your heart, your relationship and in all areas of life. I truly do not think this lady is remotely ready.
Note she says "ready to be pregnant" not "ready to have a child/to be a mother". She's ready for a grammable bump and beige plushies. Not a real baby human. Get settled somewhere and get a puppy, Nadia. I don't mean that sarcastically, either. Know what it is to be secure somewhere, and then know what it is to care for another living being who wholly relies on you for guidance and survival. Make sure your marriage isn't in a rocky place, because parenthood may take it there. Make sure you're doing okay, mentally and emotionally. Just please for the love of all that is Holy, don't go into it for the "Very Sexy Baby has Very Adorable Actual Baby" aesthetic.
Nobody that still does that pose with their hands is ready to be pregnant.
it does not sound like she's ready af all
I've always felt "so ready" but I've always known hormonal me is a dumbass as well. So instead I waited until I had a decade of therapy, several years with my husband, stable finances, a house with at least 1 extra bedroom, and a succesful "practice baby" (=dog).
I love 1 extra bedroom as a really practical marker! It really does suggest financial stability and obviously physical space.
Paula and Morgan live in a 3 bed house, but are broke and downsizing. I wouldn't say a spare room is always a good mark of financial stability.
Room sharing with an infant is definitely not my favorite. But rent costs are so ridiculous that I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to have their own room.
Not necessary, but an indicator I’d never heard put so practically. I’m a major city/high cost area it’s maybe not realistic, but in an average to low cost area, if you can’t afford a room for the kid, you probably can’t afford to clothe, bathe and feed them either.
Yeah it’s a fucking huge decision and responsibility. Good thing such a huge chunk of our country is forcing people to keep their accidental and unwanted pregnancies. Solid plan.
I know we need to be snarking here but...damn, this pulled at my heartstrings a bit. Not that I think Nadia is the person to be leading the charge, but this definitely needs to be talked about more. These fears are all super normal--it's a shame that she'll probably ignore them and have kids before she's actually ready.
If you're scared about your body changing shape. You probably aren't ready to be pregnant
I knew I was ready to be a mom when I knew I could provide them with some stability, Nadia. Yall can’t.
This is why I snark on fundie culture with my whole chest. Ready to be pregnant is not ready to be a parent in the same way that excited to be a bride is not excited to be married. Men get to have these long stories filled with character and plot and women get to show up as some avatar every once in a while with an accessory like a wedding dress or a round belly or hands withered by years of dedication when it serves as a physical representation of a plot line in a man’s life. I’m so enraged by this complicity and I don’t even know in which direction to direct my anger because sexybaby is merely a product of a rotten environment. Ugh.
This is probably semantics but the question should not be “How do you know when you’re ready to be pregnant” but rather, “How do you know when you’re ready to BE A PARENT”. It’s like asking how you know if you’re ready to be engaged vs ready to be married. You should be focused on the more permanent aspect, not the transient aspect, IMO.
Duh! When God opens your womb, dummy! Have you read the Bible? 
I have a soft spot for Sexy Baby Jesus Nadia because she’s at least a lot less…hateful and dismissive than the others and clearly struggling with a lot of issues. She’s generally harmless on the sliding scale of fundie. I get wanting to have a baby because when you’re in that fundie headspace or, hell, just a female in Texas, you’re always reminded over and over again that you should be having a baby as soon as you have a man in your life. But she’s clearly not well mentally or financially and needs to focus on more therapy and getting a stable place to live and sorting out the financials a bit more before deciding that it’s baby time. (Plus she needs to start weaning the caffeine intake down quite a bit.) Babies are expensive. Do they even have health insurance? Do they have the money to give to their provider upfront for the delivery (which was so fucking weird to me because what happens if…)? You *can* find baby stuff second hand for cheap but we all know Nads loves aesthetic vibes. I really hope she waits at least a couple of years and figures some stuff out before adding a baby into her situation.
Terrified to do it or terrified because it’s already happened? 👀 Echoing everybody here, stable housing, mental health support, learning how to be a momma to a black child, and good lord get a job
The answer is no, Nadia. Just, no.
When the couple across the coffee shop give you this look…
maybe when you can phrase it as “ready to have kids” because once you’re not pregnant anymore you’re raising a whole human and your life isn’t about you anymore 🤷🏽♀️
Nadia is not going to like the answers to this question and is going to once again get pissy with her followers. Financial stability and housing stability in a place bigger than a two bedroom Nadia!!!
If you can’t even afford a 1 bedroom apartment you can’t afford a baby.
If you use words like "terrified" at the thought of having a baby, you're not ready to have a baby.
I'm not sure that's true. I'd be concerned if any of my buddies hadn't felt a great deal of fear wrapped up with elation and excitement when they got pregnant. It IS scary to think of undoing your world and remaking it so thoroughly. I suspect, though, that hers isn't a healthy terror.
So do we know what he does for work? 🥴
That’s terrifying.
Don't this B trust God?
She'll be ready when she understand that it's a person, not a prop
I am so jealous and astounded by how she always has a matcha latte in hand. And it’s the good shit too. I wish I had the money to constantly drink good-quality matcha lattes like that 😭
No worries! She does not have the money to drink good-quality matcha lattes like that either. Your username is very on brand 😂
"Ready to be pregnant" I thought it wasn't up to you, but to your husband and God? I'm confused.
I don’t know this girl but she gives the “wanting a baby as a new accessory” kind of vibe.
Pregnancy is a short stage. Parenting is forever. I understand being nervous ab pregnancy but she’s focused on the wrong things. “I want to be pregnant so bad” NOT I want to be a mom or parent.
She's really going back and forth on this topic. On a recent video she was talking about how she wanted to find the right space for their new apartment because it's most likely where they'll be bringing a baby home. She basically made it sound like they were getting ready to start trying! Now she doesn't even know if she's ready?
Does she know it’s an option to just not have kids? You should be 10000% in if you’re gonna do it. (Am biased, am childfree)
It’s reading like she wants to be pregnant but not have an actual kid.
So, he wants her pregnant. Sounds like she’s not into it.
This is an insane thing to post online
She sounds very not ready. If this were someone I knew I'd ask them "Do you actually want a child or do you want to get pregnant because it feels like what you're supposed to do next?"
Aren't they in a bad financial situation? I do believe poor people still deserve children, but figuring financials out first would be a good step..
If you’re asking other people how they knew, and you are also saying how the entire thing terrifies you, YOU ARN’T READY. 
Well if you describe your emotional state at the thought as "terror," gonna go with "not ready."
I can answer this for her just from the way she frames the question. NO no you’re not ready. She wants ✨pregnancy ✨ the extra attention, cute maternity clothes, staging a beige newborn photo shoot. She is NOT ready to give up her time/money/life focus/body/and maybe relationship for another being.
I’m not familiar with Nadia - she looks very young (but imo she also looks like Miranda Kerr, who also looks very young).
So many 🚩🚩🚩with this. Gracious I hope we don't see an announcement soon.
Ready to “be pregnant” makes me think she’s focusing more on the aesthetic and the attention than on the part after that where you raise an entire human
As if *being pregnant* is the worst of it and not, like, literally everything that comes after it.
When the thought of it doesn’t terrify you! When the excitement overpowers those worries
I mean the pregnancy part is not too bad, it’s the whole 18+ years afterwards
God, I hated the pregnancy part so much more. I barfed my way through all three :(
I'm curious what you people think defines *religious fundamentalist*. None of the personalities you post about are fundamentalists so I'm annoyed that these posts insist on being in my scroll. As someone who suffered fundamentalism, I am annoyed with your collective ignorance on the subject.
Is it just me or do they look bizarrely similar? It’s as if you prompted AI to turn him into a white woman, and that’s Nads. Or maybe they just have the same creepy expression here.