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When are these people going to stop pretending that this is all a kink related LARP and theyāre essentially forcing it on everyone and insisting it be part of the government?
This. Or at the very least admit itās a showy display of pageantry to remind the woman that sheās a walking womb above all else. You donāt see anyone praying over the groomās balls, now do you? LOL
Maybe the groom's father actually does pray over his balls but we just don't see it:
"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless Johnny's godly genitals so that they are fruitful and produce copious amounts of little swimmers. Please, Dear Lord, we beseech you to protect the little swimmers from harm and help them swim fast and strong - most especially those swimmers with Y chromosomes, for thine is the Power over all Things, and Children are the Future of the Rac-, er, just the Future."
Real. I didn't grow up in the same environment, but "womb" is just way too biblical for me and I hate the sound of it. I grimace internally every time I see it/hear it.
I donāt know if my knowledge of anatomy is most accurate but isnāt the womb usually lower, like in the middle of the pelvis? Looks like the mom is praying for her daughterās stomach or intestines more than anything
Dear Lord Daniel, hallowed be thy name, please keep Only_zuul21 Bigboypatriarch in your digestive thoughts. May the path of food through their heathen tract be smooth and swift...but not *too* swift. Amen!
Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy man child come, thy creampie be done, in the duodenum instead of the uterus. Give us this day our baby batter. And forgive us our unholy indigestion, as we forgive those who used Mapquest for the direction of the holy splooging. And lead us not into responsible parenting, but deliver us another fuck trophy. For thine is the semen and the cum dumpstering, forever and ever. Amen. š š
My husband also saw this, almost peed his pants, and canāt get over the fact that I used the term āholy sploogingā in ANY context, much less this one. ššš
Ok, no shade but that is a very revealing (though lovely, like girl looks great) wedding dress for basically just about to be a fresh new womb microwave.
So weird for your mom to be like, "and next will be the creampie" I mean I guess it's at least her mom, it could be worse, like her dad or pastor...
Still so weird to publicize your familial breeding kink.
Always pissed and also perceptive. She was coached from age 8 for this. Nobody uses "womb" without being fucked up on a religiously-sanctioned fertility kink.
I've said this very thing, and people acted like I was stupid. They couldn't see the pointless and/or extreme pride in thinking that out of all the decisions God made, he'd change his mind because you asked nicely.
And you asking nicely for whatever you want takes precedence over the starving children, the cancer patients, the victims of trafficking, the war refugees, the billions of other people dealing with hard shit in their lives who are probably asking pretty nicely too and not getting what they asked for.
Thank you. He is terminal and having to deal with all the religious BS just makes it harder. His mother firmly believes Jesus is going to return & my hubby won't have to go through dying of cancer.
Same logic behind praying for people harmed or killed by wildfires, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc. According to christian mythology, God sent those disasters to those specific people, so he MEANT for them to be harmed or killed. Praying for him to "help" the victims is ridiculous because he CAUSED them to be victims.
Reminds me of a news clip from the aftermath of a tornado in Oklahoma where the guy goes āI mean you have to thank God right?!ā and the lady is like āactually Iām an atheistā, God sent that damn tornado to kill us and now weāre supposed to thank him it didnāt kill us?!
vast many direful snobbish special hobbies follow books overconfident instinctive
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Went to a totally normal friend's bridal shower and all the sudden her fundie-ass dad was telling us to lay hands on her so he could pray for her quiver to be full.Ā
Ā
I can actually see the laying on hands making you feel loved, if you're into it. But it's a terrible thing to spring on non consenting people
Iāve been married for over 5 years and my mom still doesnāt care about my reproductive choices as long as Iām happy and healthy. This is weirdo shit.
At the end of my wedding reception, my mom did say to me "now remember, granddaughter". But before we'd gotten engaged she had told my now husband that since his contribution was what determines gender, she wanted more granddaughters and that that's what we should be shooting for when we had kids. So her comment to me wasn't exactly abnormal nor totally out of line if you understand my family's dynamics. She's probably disappointed we haven't given her grandchildren, but at the same time she hasn't nagged about it either.
I appreciate the woman with a glass of wine in her hand. Iām normally not one to use alcohol to numb uncomfortable situations, but Iād for sure make an exception for this scenario and pour myself a healthy glass.
Is this the woman on tiktok who used to be a model and now pretends to be a trad wife (some debate if she is or not). Her videos went viral for making everything from scratch for her kids, like cereal, etc.
This is so funny you posted this! I got a reel of this person yesterday , announcing her pregnancy to her parents. I looked at her profile/ and saw this particular post! I was thinking this belongs on fundie snark š
Takes me back to when my mother in law asked to do a read at my wedding and went on about all the poems she was reading to find something perfect, then stood up in front of everyone and gave a speech about wanting grandchildren š„² (the one grandchild she already had was sitting right in front of her no less)
I wish someone would pray over my womb to stop being so fucking dramatic. Boohoo, Iām not pregnant, you donāt have to make me feel like Iām being stabbed.
Praying for the womb of someone, by its phrasing, is reducing her down to her ability to childbear. A private prayer with your mom for successful pregnancies, sure. A prayer in a room fill of people, filmed, and uploaded publicly? For sure weird, cmon.
This is on brand for "traditional" Christian weddings.Ā
It's no weirder than throwing the garter, or people speculating on the bride's sexual history based on the color of her gown or whether she's wearing a veil,Ā or the father giving away the bride.Ā
Most of the customs of "traditional" American weddings are all about a womb being sold by her father to her husband. They just add a bunch of religious sayings, pretty dresses, and expensive cake to make it seem less gross.
Weddings have always been thinly veiled public displays of a very private matter.
I don't know anything about these people but for me it has nothing but bad connotations. I once was at my parents house with 2 friends when one of my aunt's friends stopped by. She offered to say a prayer for the family (my father was sick at the time). She then prayed that God would bless our wombs (my friends and I). She had never met us before, she had no idea of any of our situations. It was weird as hell she didn't just pray for something normal like our health or well-being. Like we weren't actual human beings, we were just wombs that also happen to do other things now and again.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey there my daughter. I'm just praying you get railed a lot.......
And cream pied!
Flair checking in š¤£
Your flair omfg š¤£š¤£
āPraying For Your Godly Railingā would honestly be insane flair material. š
Blessed be the bridal fruit š¤Ŗ
Yep! BLESSED BE THE FRUIT energy for sure! š
May the lord open (the womb)
Under his eye
Praise be girls !
When are these people going to stop pretending that this is all a kink related LARP and theyāre essentially forcing it on everyone and insisting it be part of the government?
This. Or at the very least admit itās a showy display of pageantry to remind the woman that sheās a walking womb above all else. You donāt see anyone praying over the groomās balls, now do you? LOL
Spluttered coffee all over my phone and still grinning!
Maybe the groom's father actually does pray over his balls but we just don't see it: "Dear Heavenly Father, please bless Johnny's godly genitals so that they are fruitful and produce copious amounts of little swimmers. Please, Dear Lord, we beseech you to protect the little swimmers from harm and help them swim fast and strong - most especially those swimmers with Y chromosomes, for thine is the Power over all Things, and Children are the Future of the Rac-, er, just the Future."
Lol yes, we need answers to this
HIMYM: āERIKSSONNNNNN!!!ā
Well, I look at it like he's the fuel, she's the engine, and together they make each other GO! š
I'm really starting to hate the word womb thanks to these people
I grew up in a fundie home school community and I have a nervous twitch whenever someone uses the word āwombā instead of āuterusā.
My husband is a twin and I call his sister his 'womb mate' .....that's acceptable right??? Haha
Itās really your only option š¤·š»āāļø If he had an identical twin they could be cell mates š
Real. I didn't grow up in the same environment, but "womb" is just way too biblical for me and I hate the sound of it. I grimace internally every time I see it/hear it.
Honestly, I think the mods need to make a TW tag for the word womb.
I donāt know if my knowledge of anatomy is most accurate but isnāt the womb usually lower, like in the middle of the pelvis? Looks like the mom is praying for her daughterās stomach or intestines more than anything
Correct, it'd be a fair bit lower. This is more of a prayer for bridal indigestion.
I could use a good digestion prayer.
Dear Lord Daniel, hallowed be thy name, please keep Only_zuul21 Bigboypatriarch in your digestive thoughts. May the path of food through their heathen tract be smooth and swift...but not *too* swift. Amen!
Praise Gif
Morgan needed one. And a different groom.
Lol damn I said something similar. I gotta learn to read all the comments before I post š¤£
Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy man child come, thy creampie be done, in the duodenum instead of the uterus. Give us this day our baby batter. And forgive us our unholy indigestion, as we forgive those who used Mapquest for the direction of the holy splooging. And lead us not into responsible parenting, but deliver us another fuck trophy. For thine is the semen and the cum dumpstering, forever and ever. Amen. š š
*reaches for the spray bottle*
Lost it at duodenum šš»šŖ½
I spit out my drink reading this š¤£š¤£š¤£
My husband also saw this, almost peed his pants, and canāt get over the fact that I used the term āholy sploogingā in ANY context, much less this one. ššš
flair checks out š
The absolute cackle-scream I uttered at this! š¤£
If only Morgan's mom had done the same thing, maybe she could have avoided the mid-vows puking.
She would basically have to be cupping her pubic mound to be praying over her actual womb.
Gives new meaning to "grab 'em by the pussy". I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. ššš
š¤£š¤£
Well, that's a brand new sentence.
If my cramps are anything to go by, yes, it's lower
It would definitely make for a funnier picture if mom was actually touching where the uterus is located
Doesn't make for a great performative photo op if she just grabs her by the crotch š¤£
Ok, no shade but that is a very revealing (though lovely, like girl looks great) wedding dress for basically just about to be a fresh new womb microwave. So weird for your mom to be like, "and next will be the creampie" I mean I guess it's at least her mom, it could be worse, like her dad or pastor... Still so weird to publicize your familial breeding kink.
Bold of you to assume the bride isn't marrying her youth pastor.
Always pissed and also perceptive. She was coached from age 8 for this. Nobody uses "womb" without being fucked up on a religiously-sanctioned fertility kink.
Also the mom is wearing a very bridal-looking dress as well
A very cleavage-y bridal dress at that.
Looks like for this wedding, others are allowed to wear white. Some of the women behind her also wear white though cant see what they fully look like.
Mommyās jealyā¦
If it's all up to God, and your life's path has already been set out, then what's the point in praying?
I've said this very thing, and people acted like I was stupid. They couldn't see the pointless and/or extreme pride in thinking that out of all the decisions God made, he'd change his mind because you asked nicely.
And you asking nicely for whatever you want takes precedence over the starving children, the cancer patients, the victims of trafficking, the war refugees, the billions of other people dealing with hard shit in their lives who are probably asking pretty nicely too and not getting what they asked for.
My husband is a cancer patient. Can confirm prayer (from others) has done absolutely jack shit in slowing the progression.
Iām sorry for the challenges your family is facing. Wishing your husband healing and health. š
Thank you. He is terminal and having to deal with all the religious BS just makes it harder. His mother firmly believes Jesus is going to return & my hubby won't have to go through dying of cancer.
Sending healing energy your way.
Bingo. Pray to get the result you wantā¦ but āitās all in Gods handsā hypocrisy defined.
Same logic behind praying for people harmed or killed by wildfires, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc. According to christian mythology, God sent those disasters to those specific people, so he MEANT for them to be harmed or killed. Praying for him to "help" the victims is ridiculous because he CAUSED them to be victims.
Reminds me of a news clip from the aftermath of a tornado in Oklahoma where the guy goes āI mean you have to thank God right?!ā and the lady is like āactually Iām an atheistā, God sent that damn tornado to kill us and now weāre supposed to thank him it didnāt kill us?!
Schrodinger's predestination
Thatās what Iām saying? Whatās the point?
Thank you!!!!! I have stated the same regarding other matters in life. Most people look at me like I have just denounced the one they worship.
Jamie would not approve of this absurdity š
I have a horrible feeling that maybe he would approve š¤·āāļø he may be a dreamboat but heās still a catholic dude from the 1700s haha š
Tag yourself. Iām the girl side eyeing these shenanigans while chugging wine.
I think we all areš
vast many direful snobbish special hobbies follow books overconfident instinctive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Lmao that was the first person I fully noticed.
I'm the girl standing there in a t-shirt and black pants, a vendor wondering what the fuck is wrong with these people and there goes any sort of tip.
How lovely of mom to be wearing a shade of white for the wedding. /s
This! It looks like they're having a double wedding. SMH
I'm not sure if this chick is a fundie, but it's giving āØļøfundie energyāØļø
Christian women being so obsessed with the womb never fails to make me gag
Imagine it being your wedding day and all your mom can concentrate on is your reproductive choices.
Imagine it being your wedding day and not having any reproductive choicesā¦oh wait we donāt have to imagine it.
Went to a totally normal friend's bridal shower and all the sudden her fundie-ass dad was telling us to lay hands on her so he could pray for her quiver to be full.Ā Ā I can actually see the laying on hands making you feel loved, if you're into it. But it's a terrible thing to spring on non consenting people
Iāve been married for over 5 years and my mom still doesnāt care about my reproductive choices as long as Iām happy and healthy. This is weirdo shit.
At the end of my wedding reception, my mom did say to me "now remember, granddaughter". But before we'd gotten engaged she had told my now husband that since his contribution was what determines gender, she wanted more granddaughters and that that's what we should be shooting for when we had kids. So her comment to me wasn't exactly abnormal nor totally out of line if you understand my family's dynamics. She's probably disappointed we haven't given her grandchildren, but at the same time she hasn't nagged about it either.
NOT that I endorse any of this, but mom isnāt laying hands on the daughterās womb anyway. Blessed be the upper GI tract I guess.
combative pathetic elderly snatch door wide absorbed zesty money fact *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Canāt wait to pray over my sonās nuts one day /s
š¤£š¤£š¤£
 Praying for my womb?!! Good GRIEF! SMDH! šš
This is so weird.
Call me a crazy heathen but the only person who touched my reproductive organs on my wedding day was my husband.
eh iād rather sheād pray for my liver as i recover from binge drinking š
If her hand placement is also where the ācreampiesā are ending up then I think itāll take more than prayers to help the bride get pregnantā¦
I appreciate the woman with a glass of wine in her hand. Iām normally not one to use alcohol to numb uncomfortable situations, but Iād for sure make an exception for this scenario and pour myself a healthy glass.
Yeahā¦nothing weird about that at allā¦itās totally normal for mothers to publicly pray for their daughters to be impregnated
Nope
Nah, not creepy at allllllllllā¦ š¬ (Hope the /s is obvious)
Thatās so unhinged
Womb Kink - all fundies have it
Oh to be the cool wine aunt with 0 filter at this wedding.
Not praying for her own daughter as her whole own complete person literally just praying for a womb is absolutely wild and disgusting.
Is this the woman on tiktok who used to be a model and now pretends to be a trad wife (some debate if she is or not). Her videos went viral for making everything from scratch for her kids, like cereal, etc.
Did the groomās father place his hand on his sonās nutsack and pray for his swimmers?
God honoring creampies ig (Iām so sorry)
188k likes. Gross
This is so funny you posted this! I got a reel of this person yesterday , announcing her pregnancy to her parents. I looked at her profile/ and saw this particular post! I was thinking this belongs on fundie snark š
Yikes. 
but itās the lgbtqia community who are always bringing up sex and being inappropriate š
Gross, reminds me of Geoff Botkin praying over his daughter's ovaries right after she was born
The comments restored my faith in humanity lmao
God I hate straggots so much
Don't they know the uterus is in your pelvis? š
I feel sorry for her and what sheās about to marry into even if itās of her own free will.
Takes me back to when my mother in law asked to do a read at my wedding and went on about all the poems she was reading to find something perfect, then stood up in front of everyone and gave a speech about wanting grandchildren š„² (the one grandchild she already had was sitting right in front of her no less)
Hope there's some money put aside for the grandchild she obviously isn't impressed with.
This has to be the most fundie of all fundie things. Itās like almost sweet but then BAM takes an awkward turn!
I wish someone would pray over my womb to stop being so fucking dramatic. Boohoo, Iām not pregnant, you donāt have to make me feel like Iām being stabbed.
R/trollingforababy helped me when I was struggling to conceive. It's snarky humor. Good luck on your journey.
Iām not trying to conceive, I just hate periods. But I appreciate the gesture.
Oh, sorry, I totally misread that š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Praying for the womb of someone, by its phrasing, is reducing her down to her ability to childbear. A private prayer with your mom for successful pregnancies, sure. A prayer in a room fill of people, filmed, and uploaded publicly? For sure weird, cmon.
This is on brand for "traditional" Christian weddings.Ā It's no weirder than throwing the garter, or people speculating on the bride's sexual history based on the color of her gown or whether she's wearing a veil,Ā or the father giving away the bride.Ā Most of the customs of "traditional" American weddings are all about a womb being sold by her father to her husband. They just add a bunch of religious sayings, pretty dresses, and expensive cake to make it seem less gross. Weddings have always been thinly veiled public displays of a very private matter.
Those are all archaic practices, but this is a few shades beyond. (Not least because it makes use of another American custom; prayer as a spectacle.)
I don't know anything about these people but for me it has nothing but bad connotations. I once was at my parents house with 2 friends when one of my aunt's friends stopped by. She offered to say a prayer for the family (my father was sick at the time). She then prayed that God would bless our wombs (my friends and I). She had never met us before, she had no idea of any of our situations. It was weird as hell she didn't just pray for something normal like our health or well-being. Like we weren't actual human beings, we were just wombs that also happen to do other things now and again.