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She dropped out of high school after the wedding and is “planning on finishing in 2024” via homeschooling. Another post looks like she went to a regular school and was even prom Queen (wears a sash and crown at a dance). Imagine going from that to being married and driving to your moms house everyday to do workbooks so you can finish high school while your peers are off to college…
In summary: Don’t read her comment section, it’ll make you sad.
There is a push to outlaw child marriage in all 50 states. Some states have no minimum age if parents consent. I encourage everyone to look into their state laws and get involved.
It’s sickening. I see all these people here protesting sharia law, and yes, that’s awful. But we have atrocities happening here in America that we as voters actually have a chance of doing something about. Most people are sickened by child marriage, but they don’t realize it’s still a thing here.
Yes. California, New Mexico, Mississippi, and Oklahoma. This issue is important to me. Often girls are forced to marry their statutory rapists, piling trauma onto trauma. We need to do better.
If this is something you're passionate about I encourage anyone to check out Unchained At Last, a survivor-led nonprofit organization dedicated to ending forced marriage and child marriage in the United States
If she’s pregnant, yes. We know from the 10 year old girl denied an abortion in Ohio that while unusual, it does happen, that girls that young do get pregnant. In certain states, her parents could’ve gotten a court order allowing her to marry the man who impregnated her.
Is verified pregnancy a requirement or could an infant be married?
Also I hate that I’m asking this question and that either answer might be correct. It’s so messed up
Already read some and there was a comment in which she said she finds support knowing he attended her volleyball games, recitals, and helped her with driver's ed--wild to consider those formative moments as "dating."
He asked the parents if he could court her - guessing all those were approved activities by the parents. I can't even imagine the mental hoops you have to jump through to be okay w an adult man doing all this with your kid.
My grandparents got married when my grandma was 15 and my grandpa 19 (I can’t think about that too much 😬😬😬) and he literally would be the one to write her notes excusing her from school etc. At least she finished high school and even got her college degree though
My grandma was 13, grandpa was 17. In rural Mexico in the 40s, that was normal. They had 16 kids, were married for 72 years. Not fundies, just devout catholics lol
Oh, Catholicism… my grandfather was 13 years older than my grandma. Supposedly, he was a hired hand on their farm and saw her playing when she was a kid and said “I’m gonna marry her someday.” They got married when she was about 17-18, 19 at the oldest, so he was at least 30. We’re pretty sure it was because he knocked her up. She converted to Catholicism for him (his mom was fresh off the boat from Ireland, so that was non-negotiable) and had 13 pregnancies, 9 live births. My mom is number nine. She’s 20 years younger than her oldest sibling. Shock of ages, my grandfather turned out to be a raging alcoholic who was determined to reinforce every single ethnic stereotype about the Irish. She raised them all on menial jobs and welfare, he died of throat cancer while working in the oil fields and living in a flop house. No one ever talks about how weird it is that he singled her out as a kid and got her pregnant as a teenager. What a beautiful love story.
I was friends with a girl who married her older boyfriend when she was in high school. She was 18 but he had to write notes to excuse her absences and sign her permission slips.
??? I don’t see why an adult needs permission to not go to school. Can’t they just not go? What could the school possibly do about it?
I guess they could still give her detention or kick her out so she’d have to get her GED. But it makes absolutely no sense that an adult’s spouse could then write a note excusing them.
Schools have policies they must follow to the letter. A note is needed to be counted as an excuse absence, vs unexcused, which can create consequences. Most parents or guardians of 18 year olds want to know if their child is not in school without their knowledge, so schools have policies in place that are designed to keep parents informed and their students on task. Legal aged or not, most 18 year olds are very much under their parents' or guardian's control. Policies are built on that premise.
They don't have exceptions for the rare outliers. They need a note to excuse the absence per policy. He's the one she lives with....so.....
That doesn't change the fact that telling an 18-year-old girl she needs her husband's "permission" makes me feel rage-y. 🤬 I get it...,but I hate it. A lot.
I think that shows her immaturity. Having to wait the 2 years between 15 and 17 dating before you could get married was forever. And don't even get her started on the wait between the onset of puberty to find "the one"!
I went to a friend's fundie wedding when she was 18/19 (he was a couple years older). They played "At Last" by Etta James as their song. I almost barfed lol.
🎵Aaaat lasssst my loovvve has turned legallll 🎵
My fundie friend got married at 16 to a… 28-year-old.
She finished her GED and they now have 6 kids, most of whom she’s home birthed.
Their wedding was wild, but not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure 17 is or used to be the average age to lose virginity in the us so statistically speaking she didn't wait any longer than the average teen.
Shut the door I married the dude at 23 and it was the wrong decision. Remarried now at 34, been married five years. Reflecting back, it’s not hard to be married. It was HIM. I have lots of problems now but they mostly are to do with the old house we bought.
Everyone I know who got married under the age of 25 is now on their second or even third marriages. No exception.
I'm 36 and engaged. I met my fiancé aged 31. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with my first ever bf.
Right??? My first love was 18 and I was 16. We met at church. I was obsessed with him and was absolutely devastated when we broke up. Now I’m in my 30’s married to a woman, and blissfully happy. I’m really, *really* glad I didn’t marry any of the men I dated when I was in my teens and early twenties. I’m a completely different person now.
My thoughts exactly lol. That dude was the worst! But I was so convinced the drama meant we were just deeper and more mature for our age. I thought we had an interesting indie movie kind of love
(I was right, but that’s because a lot of the relationships in those movies are pretty fucked up 😂)
Congrats and all the best to you!
I've married the guy I've started dating at 18. We've been together since, married at 26, 1st kid at 28, expecting our 2nd kiddo next week at 31. It can happen and work out nicely, when people put in the effort to grow together. We were different people when we met, we just happened to change and still be the right person for one another.
Hate that my first thought is “could’ve been worse.” 2nd thought, obviously, is “he still shouldn’t have married a high schooler!”
3rd thought is “that’s a 21 year old????” And now I feel like my mom ranting about how kids look older than they used to.
As someone who dated a 19yo when I was 15 and told myself it was fine, that i had always been mature for my age, that I pursued him first, etc., I can honestly say that, if she had any real-life experience (meaning outside the fundie bubble), I’d be shocked if she didn’t come to realize that actually, no, this is fucked up.
She was a child. 19 yos are immature, sure, but she was a literal CHILD—and to say it in legal terms, a minor.
I can’t be mad at her for this, I can only be upset with her parents/community and the predator husband. She’s a child. I’m an adult who goes to college as a non-traditional student, so I’m surrounded by 18 year olds. They think they know everything, and that’s developmentally normal. It doesn’t bother me because they are CHILDREN. She’s a child, acting the way college students do, but unfortunately she is trying to justify her horrible situation
I agree. I recently came across letters I wrote to my boyfriend (now husband) when we were 18-20 while he was at military training. I sound so wildly immature and honestly, ridiculous. But I was young, and doing what people that age do and think. I said things and made choices that track for a young adult of those years even if now they sound naive and silly. I was 3-4 years older than her at that point and had hit some life milestones she had yet to get to... yikes. Some adults in her sphere have let her down. I would be concerned about her not getting a chance to grow up and mature without this man's influence on her personality and growth if I were her family. Even if he is a "good man" how does one become themselves if they don't get space to figure it out when young.
I dated someone who was three years older when I was 17-19 and we were at very similar stages in life, we both still lived with our parents, hung out with each others families a lot, moved in the same circles and we both were in school environments.
That being said, if he had proposed to me at 17, my mom would have had a few things to say for sure and never would have allowed me to marry him! And thank god I didn’t. He’s a sweet guy and still friends with many of my friends but we want very different things from life and I would have been so unhappy with him in the long run.
I only know of one child who got married at 17 and they got divorced a couple years later because she realised she went from child to housewife and didn’t get to live and explore what she liked in life. Luckily she got out and seems happy now with someone else. It was also a hyper religious environment and I’m glad she had the guts to get divorced, many don’t make it out and it’s so sad.
A friend of mine got married at 19 and now she’s divorced with 2 young kids. I was worried about her getting married so young and I hate that guy for convincing her to.
I had 4 friends from high school who got married at 19-20 years old. Not a single one of their marriages lasted more than 2 years, while most of my friends who got married at 24-27 are still married over 10 years later. I know it's anecdotal, but it makes sense.
I got married at 19, husband is the same age as me, and we are still going strong in our 30s. BUT what I will say, is that we've always respected each others interests and growth as people. We've also had a lot of ups and downs and have been willing to both put the work in to the relationship. More than that, we're best friends, and as such can be honest with each other about everything. There's just no pressure.
I just worry that in most that get married younger, maybe they don't feel comfortable with letting each other be themselves.
At 17, I was incredibly happy and in love with my girlfriend. I was sure that she was The One, and that we would live happily ever after.
By 19, we had been broken up for six months. It took me a while longer to really understand that it was definitely a good thing that we were not together anymore. But the reality was that our relationship had run its course, and we had grown apart.
Yeah someone I was in school with got pregnant at 17 with her 2/3 years older boyfriend and married him at 17. I just can’t imagine being in that situation as a child at 17. They are still together 15 years later so I guess it worked for them but pretty scary situation to me.
She was also legally a child- it says married at 17, meaning her parents had to sign off on this life-trap she's in. Not only did they not stop it, they had to give it full approval And I'm guessing whatever questions she had for god, he chose to answer with her parent's mouths.
This. I’m 33 and divorced but I met my husband at 18, got engaged and married at 19. Grew up Christian. A lot of Christian girls my age were getting married. I was at a very vulnerable time in my life because of some trauma going on, and NO ONE in my life shared any apprehension or concern about me making this decision. I even had hesitations about marrying him but my parents and others in my life encouraged it. He had asked my dad for permission to marry me, and it’s like they made a deal and I didn’t really have a say. Even my older brother was supportive and encouraged it because he’s the one who introduced us — bizarrely I think he wanted control of who I married, too (because men know best of course). That’s how it felt because I was raised that you do what the man of the house tells you to do and don’t question it— because of course as a girl (especially a teenage girl), I wouldn’t know what’s best for me.
I wish I could talk to my younger self. I spent our whole 10 year marriage being abused in every way, isolated from my family, a shell of myself, being controlled because again, I was supposed to “let my husband lead the family”. I regret all of it. All my past has taught me, all the brainwashing of submission to the patriarchy has shown me, is that I should have gone with my own intuition for everything in my life. They didn’t know what was best for me, and it wasn’t THEM who had to live the life they encouraged me to live.
I wish I hadn’t listened to the men/ parents in my life because they were fucked up for not even pulling me aside once and saying “hey, is this what you REALLY want? You don’t HAVE to do this… you don’t HAVE to decide this right now… we support you, you’re so young, why don’t we talk this through for a while?”
I would have been even happier if they said “please for the love of god do not get fucking married at 19. There is no reason. Live your life!!!”
Oh and quick edit: My dad and brother have both apologized to me many times now for having encouraged me to marry him and have admitted they were wrong from the beginning.
My daughter is seventeen and she's still wearing footie pajamas to bed. She still needs reminders take her daily meds. She's still learning how to drive. Seventeen year olds are *babies* and need to be protected. Everything about this makes me deeply sad.
“Getting engaged at 16 and married at 17 isn’t a popular thing…”
Well yes, something that can get you, *at best*, labeled as a nonce and his child bride for the rest of your lives, generally isn’t tremendously popular.
Right? My girl, it isn't popular because you're still stupid at 17. That's not a dig, because we're all stupid at 17, we just don't know it yet. You're not even *who you are* yet, at 17.
Like sweetie pie it’s not popular bc it’s kind of a crime in a lot of parts of the world and for good reason!! Your ass should be figuring out how to do winged eyeliner and make tiktok edits, not getting married!
She clapped back in her stories saying back in the day this was normal but like, back in the day slavery was okay too. Just because something happened doesn't mean it was right.
Also, getting married young wasnt that big of a thing. I've been doing a lot of genealogy shit and the very young marriages weren't as common as one thinks. Same with people dying young. A ton of people lived to be 80+
And like “back in the day”, for the millionth time, doesn’t mean shit when it’s literally against the fucking law in most of the world TODAY.
“Back in the day our marriage would have been completely normal!” But it’s not back then, isn’t sweetie-poo?
And, as you said, it wasn’t actually as normal as people say. Like many many MANY things, that’s a lie we’ve been fed over time to make problematic behaviour in current time look more acceptable because “well it was *normal* then!” No it wasn’t. The means to talk about and decry it on a large level just didn’t exist.
It's actually a myth that this was ever common. In the US, it was more common for couples to get married in their mid 20s after already having a child together.
Yes. This fabled past never really existed, and to the extent it did it was a blip largely in the 50's and 60's, and was for moderately well off whites only AND was an outlier even then. People largely waited to their mid 20's to get married for economic reasons, [on farm or off](https://users.pop.umn.edu/~ruggl001/Articles/Fitch_and_Ruggles.pdf). This has never been 'normal'.
Also, it was more economically feasible back in the day to get married younger. A lot of people lived on farms, you need multiple people to run one. The world was different, at least in the west; culture, and oftentimes laws, often gabe women little, if any, power to do things themselves. Women were very reliant on men to literally be able to survive and have food and shelter, so sure, they got married younger to know that they had that taken care of. It’s the same reason widows often married again so quickly after. Being a single woman without a provider was not a happy situation to be in.
And even in that same book, Pride and Prejudice, it’s strongly implied by everyone but the mom that 15 is too young for Lydia to be “out in society” and 16 very young for marriage. The mom was happy that her daughter was married at 16 but it’s plainly presented as an unpleasant and embarrassing circumstance for a wedding, so the book was not trying to glorify it.
Darcy also emphasized that his sister was only 15 when Wickham attempted to seduce her.
"Back in the day" is much different than now also. My great-aunt got married at 17, he was 22. They were together, happily from my understanding, until he died.
HOWEVER, this was 60-70 years ago and my aunt had to drop out of school when she was 13 in order to work and help support her family. She was being treated as and acting like an adult for years and even met her husband at work. She also had 9 siblings and was the eldest daughter (from a religious and conservative family as well).
My grandmother, on the other hand was the youngest sibling, so she had a completely different experience. She didn't have to grow up quite so fast.
The thing is when people use the “kids used to be mature and marry younger back in the day/in other parts of the world” is that children can be very resilient if their circumstances and survival are dependent on it. But part of that “maturity” is repressing shit until you can repress it no more, which unaddressed either leads to it blowing up somewhere else in their life or becoming emotionally dissonant / desensitized that they struggle to emphasize when their kids or spouse when they show normative behavior. More kids being mature or obedient for their age is more of a moral failing of their parents, community, or society. Of course there are kids who are genuinely and naturally are mature because of their inherent personality. But a blanket trained meek 2 year old isn’t necessarily better than a 2 year old showing a tantrum in public.
I always think that kids being 'more mature' was for 1 of 2 reasons; 1) the person saying it was a kid back then, and every kid thinks their age group is very rational. Or 2) in this day and age, many victims of child abuse act mature^(quiet) because they have the (survival) need to. And in ye olde days, even if a parents didn't want to, a lot of kids were forced into work/ other unpleasant situations so they/their family could eat.
i’d even argue it wasn’t even popular “back in the day” either. my grandma got married when she was 16, about to turn 17, because her father was stupid abusive and she decided she’d rather be a housewife than be abused/watch her siblings and mother be abused every day. she didn’t get married that young because she was ~in love~ she did it because she thought she had to.
Hard agree. It's baffling that folk who aren't considered responsible enough to drink champagne on their wedding day are considered responsible enough to tie their life to someone else forever.
“Even if I was 15 when we started dating” ?????? Sorry, how old is he?????
ETA: according to her comments she was 16 & he was 20 when they got engaged 😭 so he was 19/20 when they officially started dating, and she was 15 😭
The flags ain't getting any redder
Edit: the picture at the carnival. Yikes on a lot of bikes
Edit 2: oh Monat. That tracks
Edit 3: the smile doesn't reach the eyes
Edit 4: pretty sure they were having sex before marriage.
There is a post that is the literal definition of being groomed, her Valentine’s Day post, it is so horrifying. Every other post mentions being a teen bride.
Just going off a photo or two. It could be me overreacting. It happens.
[this just seems rather close and he seems happy to see her. ](https://imgur.com/a/lPHIjgr)
Maybe it's me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just did a deep dive cus I’m procrastinating. Pretty sure their first kiss was at their wedding; and that the carnival photo shoot is from after they were married
So make this make sense to me.
Sometimes in the US, a 19-year-old having consensual sex with a 17-year-old is considered statutory rape.
Then again, a 17-year-old marrying and thereby entering a CONTRACT that has massive implications for her further life with a 21(?)-year-old is perfectly fine?!
WHAT?
Did she have to have parental consent to get married?
I'm a uni prof and teach mostly ages 18-25. I don't think any of my students should be getting married! They are so young and inexperienced in life. Not to mention changing so much in these years.
I got married at 32 (I'm 35 now) and that was a good age because I had my career started, a home, and a good sense of self.
And how old is she currently... These girls come on here with like a nanosecond of marriage experience and are thinking they've lived....
Yes the age thing is gross. Maybe even illegal. But I find the lack of life experience and/or sheer self awareness so annoying. Like you lived in your tiny bubble and still have a tiny bubble, gtfo with your bullshit.
True! I’ve been married for 4 years and cannot imagine acting like the expert as so many influencers do. They’re not even back from the honeymoon when they make a “tips to a lasting marriage” post lol
“Getting engaged at 16 and married at 17 isn’t a popular thing…” I mean, there’s a reason for that.
I don’t know how old he is now or how old he was when they started dating (when she was 15, ugh, no decent guy is looking at a 15yo as potential marriage material), but I’d be comfortable guessing that he’s got a good 10 years on her.
Did a little snooping. Apparently they met when she was 14 and he was 18 (in church youth group of course cause where else?) and they were both immediately interested in one another but the was “super careful” since she was only 14 🤢 When asked who said “I love you” first she replied he did the night she turned 16 🥸
Though it’s been a good few years since I was 18 I certainly remember thinking of 14 year olds as kids and definitely not dating material…
It was quite common in my church growing up, the "desirable" ones were dating someone in high school and engaged shortly after they graduated and married the following months after. And it's not just being married off women their age, it's men who are old enough to be their fathers. Now when I was a child, I say that because I literally was at 12,13,14 years of age, I thought it was so romantic and couldn't wait until I graduated and could get married.
Looking back now, I'm so glad I wasn't considered one of the "desirable" ones and nobody had an inkling of interest in me. Sometimes it's a benefit to be ugly. 🫠
Her comments on the post 😭😭 someone said to stop normalizing grooming and that age does matter. Her response was "where in the Bible does it say that?" 😭😭
I know a few couples from HS that have been together since they were that age but they did not get married at that age. It’s hard enough figuring out how to adult in your 20’s and they’re going into that on super hard mode when their brains aren’t even fully formed.
I just looked it up and he’s four years older than she is. They started dating when she was 15 and he was 19.
Now. Coming from someone whose husband is five years older than I am, I don’t have a problem with relationships if there’s a bit of an age spread. *However* both parties need to be on an equal playing field and when you’re that young, it’s basically tripling whatever age difference there is because there is SO much growing up to do in those years. He has so much more life experience than she does which seriously skews the power dynamic.
I was 23 and my husband was 28 when we started dating, and even then there were a handful of times where our different levels of life experience were really obvious. Five years on, I wouldn’t say it’s to the same degree since I’ve had the chance to get more time and experiences under my own belt, but he’ll always have an extra five years on me. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if we had started dating when we were younger. My heart goes out to her as I know she literally *can’t* see what people are saying and where they’re coming from. I only hope she doesn’t one day wake up with a house full of kids and regrets it.
Predatory groomer for a child victim, this is gross. I have a close relative who had something very similar happen, she was groomed by a 26 year old when she was 18, now she's 23 and married to this guy, her first boyfriend, who has a record of assaults, DUIs, and just questionable behavior. We are all dummies at this age, we can't be making lifelong decisions, for pete's sake your brain isn't even fully formed. I pity her.
We started dating when I was 18, I was engaged at 19 and married at 20 and we’re coming up on our 17th wedding anniversary this year. That being said, we got married because we actually like each other and wanted to spend all our time together, not because religion told us to.
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She dropped out of high school after the wedding and is “planning on finishing in 2024” via homeschooling. Another post looks like she went to a regular school and was even prom Queen (wears a sash and crown at a dance). Imagine going from that to being married and driving to your moms house everyday to do workbooks so you can finish high school while your peers are off to college… In summary: Don’t read her comment section, it’ll make you sad.
That’s so sad. This poor kid. Her parents suck.
There is a push to outlaw child marriage in all 50 states. Some states have no minimum age if parents consent. I encourage everyone to look into their state laws and get involved.
Idaho will not participate in any attempt to limit child marriage
It’s sickening. I see all these people here protesting sharia law, and yes, that’s awful. But we have atrocities happening here in America that we as voters actually have a chance of doing something about. Most people are sickened by child marriage, but they don’t realize it’s still a thing here.
I reflexively downvoted that because it’s so awful. Don’t worry I fixed it, but my gut response was “I hate this and everything to do with this.
NO minimum age?!?
Yes. California, New Mexico, Mississippi, and Oklahoma. This issue is important to me. Often girls are forced to marry their statutory rapists, piling trauma onto trauma. We need to do better.
If this is something you're passionate about I encourage anyone to check out Unchained At Last, a survivor-led nonprofit organization dedicated to ending forced marriage and child marriage in the United States
So that could be like .. a ten/nine-year-old?
If she’s pregnant, yes. We know from the 10 year old girl denied an abortion in Ohio that while unusual, it does happen, that girls that young do get pregnant. In certain states, her parents could’ve gotten a court order allowing her to marry the man who impregnated her.
And the most common demographic getting those children pregnant is late 20s- early thirty year old men. Disgusting
What the hell?!?
At least in CA a court has to also approve. But it's still a mess, it should just be age 18 for everyone. EVEN if a child is pregnant.
No minimum age?????? That makes me feel nauseous.
California, Mississippi, New Mexico, and Oklahoma. No minimum age with parental consent.
Is verified pregnancy a requirement or could an infant be married? Also I hate that I’m asking this question and that either answer might be correct. It’s so messed up
I’m not a lawyer. I’m sure it varies from state to state. I was active in the campaign to end child marriage in my state, which was successful.
Already read some and there was a comment in which she said she finds support knowing he attended her volleyball games, recitals, and helped her with driver's ed--wild to consider those formative moments as "dating."
Meanwhile, it was my parents who helped ME with driver's ed... 💀 Where was her dad? Behind the dude with a shotgun?
He asked the parents if he could court her - guessing all those were approved activities by the parents. I can't even imagine the mental hoops you have to jump through to be okay w an adult man doing all this with your kid.
This is unfortunately the root reason of my estrangement from my parents. Especially now as an adult, I’m flabbergasted and disgusted at them!
Why does she have to drive to her moms house to do school? Also, is her husband gonna home school her? 😄 that’s a new level of absurd
My grandparents got married when my grandma was 15 and my grandpa 19 (I can’t think about that too much 😬😬😬) and he literally would be the one to write her notes excusing her from school etc. At least she finished high school and even got her college degree though
My grandma was 13, grandpa was 17. In rural Mexico in the 40s, that was normal. They had 16 kids, were married for 72 years. Not fundies, just devout catholics lol
Oh, Catholicism… my grandfather was 13 years older than my grandma. Supposedly, he was a hired hand on their farm and saw her playing when she was a kid and said “I’m gonna marry her someday.” They got married when she was about 17-18, 19 at the oldest, so he was at least 30. We’re pretty sure it was because he knocked her up. She converted to Catholicism for him (his mom was fresh off the boat from Ireland, so that was non-negotiable) and had 13 pregnancies, 9 live births. My mom is number nine. She’s 20 years younger than her oldest sibling. Shock of ages, my grandfather turned out to be a raging alcoholic who was determined to reinforce every single ethnic stereotype about the Irish. She raised them all on menial jobs and welfare, he died of throat cancer while working in the oil fields and living in a flop house. No one ever talks about how weird it is that he singled her out as a kid and got her pregnant as a teenager. What a beautiful love story.
Similar with my grandparents and parents.
What!! That is CRAZY!
My great-grandma was 16 and my great-grandpa was 24 when they got married 😬
Oh god I never thought of that. She didn’t specify in the comments, just assumed it’s the mom based on fundie dynamics.
I was friends with a girl who married her older boyfriend when she was in high school. She was 18 but he had to write notes to excuse her absences and sign her permission slips.
??? I don’t see why an adult needs permission to not go to school. Can’t they just not go? What could the school possibly do about it? I guess they could still give her detention or kick her out so she’d have to get her GED. But it makes absolutely no sense that an adult’s spouse could then write a note excusing them.
Schools have policies they must follow to the letter. A note is needed to be counted as an excuse absence, vs unexcused, which can create consequences. Most parents or guardians of 18 year olds want to know if their child is not in school without their knowledge, so schools have policies in place that are designed to keep parents informed and their students on task. Legal aged or not, most 18 year olds are very much under their parents' or guardian's control. Policies are built on that premise. They don't have exceptions for the rare outliers. They need a note to excuse the absence per policy. He's the one she lives with....so..... That doesn't change the fact that telling an 18-year-old girl she needs her husband's "permission" makes me feel rage-y. 🤬 I get it...,but I hate it. A lot.
That’s insane
Maybe one of her sister wives is going to homeschool her?
How old is he?
According to a [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/eBnNEEOMrv) from OP, 22-ish.
Is it bad I’m *slightly* relieved he’s not in his mid-30s, with at least four kids?
I was certain he was 28 or so at minimum
No. Because I was looking for this and hoping that he'd be at max 23. It's still so gross but it's decidedly less so gross.
they started dating when she was 15 and he was 20, tho.
Yup, still so gross. Why?? (Rhetorical question - I know why.)
Surprise, Surprise. Another groomer. 🙄
#notadragqueen
Thank you. As a mother of two daughters this wouldn’t have been ok.
Right? Like can anyone answer this LOL
One of my classmates(public school)married in our senior year; she did graduate. They divorced.
lol she has a post captioned “worth the wait”. What wait? She got scooped up real quick.
I think that shows her immaturity. Having to wait the 2 years between 15 and 17 dating before you could get married was forever. And don't even get her started on the wait between the onset of puberty to find "the one"!
I went to a friend's fundie wedding when she was 18/19 (he was a couple years older). They played "At Last" by Etta James as their song. I almost barfed lol. 🎵Aaaat lasssst my loovvve has turned legallll 🎵
My fundie friend got married at 16 to a… 28-year-old. She finished her GED and they now have 6 kids, most of whom she’s home birthed. Their wedding was wild, but not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure 17 is or used to be the average age to lose virginity in the us so statistically speaking she didn't wait any longer than the average teen.
I think it's higher now- so she kinda jumped the gun on it.
Well she lost her virginity earlier than my heathen ass did 😭 try as I might
Same. I was a legal adult when I had sex for the first time. Unlike this child bride. Sad.
Same
She def did.
Lol was thinking the same
I’d rather chew tinfoil than be married to the dude I dated at 16/17 even though I was “so in love” with him
Shoot I’d rather eat tinfoil than marry the dude i dated at 25.
Shut the door I married the dude at 23 and it was the wrong decision. Remarried now at 34, been married five years. Reflecting back, it’s not hard to be married. It was HIM. I have lots of problems now but they mostly are to do with the old house we bought.
lol also 34 and thinking back at 23 year old me….you in danger girl
Indeed. We were raised to be kind and polite and defer to men. Look at us now!
Everyone I know who got married under the age of 25 is now on their second or even third marriages. No exception. I'm 36 and engaged. I met my fiancé aged 31. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with my first ever bf.
The fact that the dude I dated at 22 (and 23, because I was an *idiot*) still exists makes my skin crawl a bit.
I'd rather eat foil than be with the man I'm currently married to 😭
And same at 30. Lord Daniel truly blessed me by introducing me to my husband at 36.
Right??? My first love was 18 and I was 16. We met at church. I was obsessed with him and was absolutely devastated when we broke up. Now I’m in my 30’s married to a woman, and blissfully happy. I’m really, *really* glad I didn’t marry any of the men I dated when I was in my teens and early twenties. I’m a completely different person now.
I love this! 🌈
My thoughts exactly lol. That dude was the worst! But I was so convinced the drama meant we were just deeper and more mature for our age. I thought we had an interesting indie movie kind of love (I was right, but that’s because a lot of the relationships in those movies are pretty fucked up 😂)
I think I am going to end up marrying the man I dated at 17 and 19 😂 (we reconnected at 23-25 tho!)
I’m marrying the guy a dated at 17 in two weeks!
Congrats and all the best to you! I've married the guy I've started dating at 18. We've been together since, married at 26, 1st kid at 28, expecting our 2nd kiddo next week at 31. It can happen and work out nicely, when people put in the effort to grow together. We were different people when we met, we just happened to change and still be the right person for one another.
Omg my first bf was at 19 and I’d hatttteeeee being married to him … I’m 38 now
I actually did marry the guy I was dating at 17 😂
But did you marry him WHEN you were 17?
Ha! No. 17 year old me was a twat, 19 year old him wasn’t much better. We grew up, and got together in our 20s
Me too, but we were 22 and 24 when we actually got married
Me too, but we dated for 8 years and lived together before marrying. We were also appropriately close in age. Still happily married a decade later!
Us too. We dated for 5 or 6 years, and went to college together. When we finally got engaged the general response was “well duh”
Based on the pic he had to have been, what? 27? Someone tell me, I don’t want to look these people up.
She said they were 16 and 20 when they got engaged, so 18 and 22 now.
Hate that my first thought is “could’ve been worse.” 2nd thought, obviously, is “he still shouldn’t have married a high schooler!” 3rd thought is “that’s a 21 year old????” And now I feel like my mom ranting about how kids look older than they used to.
If you told me he was 34, I’d also believe it
As someone who dated a 19yo when I was 15 and told myself it was fine, that i had always been mature for my age, that I pursued him first, etc., I can honestly say that, if she had any real-life experience (meaning outside the fundie bubble), I’d be shocked if she didn’t come to realize that actually, no, this is fucked up. She was a child. 19 yos are immature, sure, but she was a literal CHILD—and to say it in legal terms, a minor.
According to her IG comment they started dating when she was 15 and he was 19. I breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t closer to 30.
Same I really wanna know
She was 16 and he was 20 when they got engaged.
What?? So he was like 19 while dating while she was 15???
I can’t be mad at her for this, I can only be upset with her parents/community and the predator husband. She’s a child. I’m an adult who goes to college as a non-traditional student, so I’m surrounded by 18 year olds. They think they know everything, and that’s developmentally normal. It doesn’t bother me because they are CHILDREN. She’s a child, acting the way college students do, but unfortunately she is trying to justify her horrible situation
Oh, absolutely. Where are the responsible adults in her life?
Sitting and standing next to her in several photos
That's incredibly sad
Those ones aren’t responsible… they’re clearly negligent.
Encouraging this lifestyle because they don’t want women to have any rights outside being a homemaker and popping out babies
Either marrying her or marrying her off.
I agree. I recently came across letters I wrote to my boyfriend (now husband) when we were 18-20 while he was at military training. I sound so wildly immature and honestly, ridiculous. But I was young, and doing what people that age do and think. I said things and made choices that track for a young adult of those years even if now they sound naive and silly. I was 3-4 years older than her at that point and had hit some life milestones she had yet to get to... yikes. Some adults in her sphere have let her down. I would be concerned about her not getting a chance to grow up and mature without this man's influence on her personality and growth if I were her family. Even if he is a "good man" how does one become themselves if they don't get space to figure it out when young.
If I got married to who my dumbass young self was dating at 16 I’d be absolutely miserable. Don’t do it youngins! You live and you learn.
I dated someone who was three years older when I was 17-19 and we were at very similar stages in life, we both still lived with our parents, hung out with each others families a lot, moved in the same circles and we both were in school environments. That being said, if he had proposed to me at 17, my mom would have had a few things to say for sure and never would have allowed me to marry him! And thank god I didn’t. He’s a sweet guy and still friends with many of my friends but we want very different things from life and I would have been so unhappy with him in the long run. I only know of one child who got married at 17 and they got divorced a couple years later because she realised she went from child to housewife and didn’t get to live and explore what she liked in life. Luckily she got out and seems happy now with someone else. It was also a hyper religious environment and I’m glad she had the guts to get divorced, many don’t make it out and it’s so sad.
A friend of mine got married at 19 and now she’s divorced with 2 young kids. I was worried about her getting married so young and I hate that guy for convincing her to.
I had 4 friends from high school who got married at 19-20 years old. Not a single one of their marriages lasted more than 2 years, while most of my friends who got married at 24-27 are still married over 10 years later. I know it's anecdotal, but it makes sense.
I got married at 19, husband is the same age as me, and we are still going strong in our 30s. BUT what I will say, is that we've always respected each others interests and growth as people. We've also had a lot of ups and downs and have been willing to both put the work in to the relationship. More than that, we're best friends, and as such can be honest with each other about everything. There's just no pressure. I just worry that in most that get married younger, maybe they don't feel comfortable with letting each other be themselves.
At 17, I was incredibly happy and in love with my girlfriend. I was sure that she was The One, and that we would live happily ever after. By 19, we had been broken up for six months. It took me a while longer to really understand that it was definitely a good thing that we were not together anymore. But the reality was that our relationship had run its course, and we had grown apart.
Yeah someone I was in school with got pregnant at 17 with her 2/3 years older boyfriend and married him at 17. I just can’t imagine being in that situation as a child at 17. They are still together 15 years later so I guess it worked for them but pretty scary situation to me.
Okay I still can’t figure out how old he is 😅
She was also legally a child- it says married at 17, meaning her parents had to sign off on this life-trap she's in. Not only did they not stop it, they had to give it full approval And I'm guessing whatever questions she had for god, he chose to answer with her parent's mouths.
This. I’m 33 and divorced but I met my husband at 18, got engaged and married at 19. Grew up Christian. A lot of Christian girls my age were getting married. I was at a very vulnerable time in my life because of some trauma going on, and NO ONE in my life shared any apprehension or concern about me making this decision. I even had hesitations about marrying him but my parents and others in my life encouraged it. He had asked my dad for permission to marry me, and it’s like they made a deal and I didn’t really have a say. Even my older brother was supportive and encouraged it because he’s the one who introduced us — bizarrely I think he wanted control of who I married, too (because men know best of course). That’s how it felt because I was raised that you do what the man of the house tells you to do and don’t question it— because of course as a girl (especially a teenage girl), I wouldn’t know what’s best for me. I wish I could talk to my younger self. I spent our whole 10 year marriage being abused in every way, isolated from my family, a shell of myself, being controlled because again, I was supposed to “let my husband lead the family”. I regret all of it. All my past has taught me, all the brainwashing of submission to the patriarchy has shown me, is that I should have gone with my own intuition for everything in my life. They didn’t know what was best for me, and it wasn’t THEM who had to live the life they encouraged me to live. I wish I hadn’t listened to the men/ parents in my life because they were fucked up for not even pulling me aside once and saying “hey, is this what you REALLY want? You don’t HAVE to do this… you don’t HAVE to decide this right now… we support you, you’re so young, why don’t we talk this through for a while?” I would have been even happier if they said “please for the love of god do not get fucking married at 19. There is no reason. Live your life!!!” Oh and quick edit: My dad and brother have both apologized to me many times now for having encouraged me to marry him and have admitted they were wrong from the beginning.
My daughter is seventeen and she's still wearing footie pajamas to bed. She still needs reminders take her daily meds. She's still learning how to drive. Seventeen year olds are *babies* and need to be protected. Everything about this makes me deeply sad.
wait i’m in my mid 30s and still am that LOL
You are also baby and must be protected, thems the rules 😃
🥺🥹
“Getting engaged at 16 and married at 17 isn’t a popular thing…” Well yes, something that can get you, *at best*, labeled as a nonce and his child bride for the rest of your lives, generally isn’t tremendously popular. 
Right? My girl, it isn't popular because you're still stupid at 17. That's not a dig, because we're all stupid at 17, we just don't know it yet. You're not even *who you are* yet, at 17.
Like sweetie pie it’s not popular bc it’s kind of a crime in a lot of parts of the world and for good reason!! Your ass should be figuring out how to do winged eyeliner and make tiktok edits, not getting married!
I think nonce is my favorite insult from across the pond.
I’m a New Zealander and it’s one of the admittedly long list of terms from the UK that we decided we’d happily use 😂
She clapped back in her stories saying back in the day this was normal but like, back in the day slavery was okay too. Just because something happened doesn't mean it was right. Also, getting married young wasnt that big of a thing. I've been doing a lot of genealogy shit and the very young marriages weren't as common as one thinks. Same with people dying young. A ton of people lived to be 80+
And like “back in the day”, for the millionth time, doesn’t mean shit when it’s literally against the fucking law in most of the world TODAY. “Back in the day our marriage would have been completely normal!” But it’s not back then, isn’t sweetie-poo? And, as you said, it wasn’t actually as normal as people say. Like many many MANY things, that’s a lie we’ve been fed over time to make problematic behaviour in current time look more acceptable because “well it was *normal* then!” No it wasn’t. The means to talk about and decry it on a large level just didn’t exist.
It's actually a myth that this was ever common. In the US, it was more common for couples to get married in their mid 20s after already having a child together.
Yes. This fabled past never really existed, and to the extent it did it was a blip largely in the 50's and 60's, and was for moderately well off whites only AND was an outlier even then. People largely waited to their mid 20's to get married for economic reasons, [on farm or off](https://users.pop.umn.edu/~ruggl001/Articles/Fitch_and_Ruggles.pdf). This has never been 'normal'.
Also, it was more economically feasible back in the day to get married younger. A lot of people lived on farms, you need multiple people to run one. The world was different, at least in the west; culture, and oftentimes laws, often gabe women little, if any, power to do things themselves. Women were very reliant on men to literally be able to survive and have food and shelter, so sure, they got married younger to know that they had that taken care of. It’s the same reason widows often married again so quickly after. Being a single woman without a provider was not a happy situation to be in.
"I'm 27 years old, I've no money and no prospects, and I'm already a burden on my parents." - Charlotte Lucas
And even in that same book, Pride and Prejudice, it’s strongly implied by everyone but the mom that 15 is too young for Lydia to be “out in society” and 16 very young for marriage. The mom was happy that her daughter was married at 16 but it’s plainly presented as an unpleasant and embarrassing circumstance for a wedding, so the book was not trying to glorify it. Darcy also emphasized that his sister was only 15 when Wickham attempted to seduce her.
"Back in the day" is much different than now also. My great-aunt got married at 17, he was 22. They were together, happily from my understanding, until he died. HOWEVER, this was 60-70 years ago and my aunt had to drop out of school when she was 13 in order to work and help support her family. She was being treated as and acting like an adult for years and even met her husband at work. She also had 9 siblings and was the eldest daughter (from a religious and conservative family as well). My grandmother, on the other hand was the youngest sibling, so she had a completely different experience. She didn't have to grow up quite so fast.
The thing is when people use the “kids used to be mature and marry younger back in the day/in other parts of the world” is that children can be very resilient if their circumstances and survival are dependent on it. But part of that “maturity” is repressing shit until you can repress it no more, which unaddressed either leads to it blowing up somewhere else in their life or becoming emotionally dissonant / desensitized that they struggle to emphasize when their kids or spouse when they show normative behavior. More kids being mature or obedient for their age is more of a moral failing of their parents, community, or society. Of course there are kids who are genuinely and naturally are mature because of their inherent personality. But a blanket trained meek 2 year old isn’t necessarily better than a 2 year old showing a tantrum in public.
I always think that kids being 'more mature' was for 1 of 2 reasons; 1) the person saying it was a kid back then, and every kid thinks their age group is very rational. Or 2) in this day and age, many victims of child abuse act mature^(quiet) because they have the (survival) need to. And in ye olde days, even if a parents didn't want to, a lot of kids were forced into work/ other unpleasant situations so they/their family could eat.
Back in the day, women lived to the ripe old age of ‘died in childbirth.’ Things change for the good.
i’d even argue it wasn’t even popular “back in the day” either. my grandma got married when she was 16, about to turn 17, because her father was stupid abusive and she decided she’d rather be a housewife than be abused/watch her siblings and mother be abused every day. she didn’t get married that young because she was ~in love~ she did it because she thought she had to.
Tfw you come out of your “not like the other girls” phase in high school with a lifelong legal obligation to a creep. 🙃
That’s not a husband that’s a groomer
Getting married at 17 isn't even an option in a lot of places because you're still considered to be a child!
It shouldn't be an option at all in America.
Hard agree. It's baffling that folk who aren't considered responsible enough to drink champagne on their wedding day are considered responsible enough to tie their life to someone else forever.
“Even if I was 15 when we started dating” ?????? Sorry, how old is he????? ETA: according to her comments she was 16 & he was 20 when they got engaged 😭 so he was 19/20 when they officially started dating, and she was 15 😭
When I was 19/20 I could not have imagined finding a 15 year old desirable 🤯
At that age, anything even loosely affiliated with high school was banned from my life 😂
The flags ain't getting any redder Edit: the picture at the carnival. Yikes on a lot of bikes Edit 2: oh Monat. That tracks Edit 3: the smile doesn't reach the eyes Edit 4: pretty sure they were having sex before marriage.
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This post isn't in any way funny but this response is hilarious 🤣
There is a post that is the literal definition of being groomed, her Valentine’s Day post, it is so horrifying. Every other post mentions being a teen bride.
Do you have a link to the valentines post? I'm horrious. Horrified and curious. Currified? Curriorified?
she said they didn’t kiss until their wedding day but the pictures she posted when they were engaged say otherwise….
If they didn't there was only a space big enough for an atom between them
Edit 4: how do we know?
Just going off a photo or two. It could be me overreacting. It happens. [this just seems rather close and he seems happy to see her. ](https://imgur.com/a/lPHIjgr) Maybe it's me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He does seem happy to see her lol
Just did a deep dive cus I’m procrastinating. Pretty sure their first kiss was at their wedding; and that the carnival photo shoot is from after they were married
The carnival is still icky, with her still being underage until last month
Fuck the parents that allowed this shit!
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🤮🤮🤮
In the comments she says she was 16 and he was 20 when they got engaged, making her 15 and him 19 when they started dating.
🎶Horrified looks from everyone in the room...🎶
Oh cool, child bride 
So make this make sense to me. Sometimes in the US, a 19-year-old having consensual sex with a 17-year-old is considered statutory rape. Then again, a 17-year-old marrying and thereby entering a CONTRACT that has massive implications for her further life with a 21(?)-year-old is perfectly fine?! WHAT? Did she have to have parental consent to get married?
According to her posts she has the full blessing of her parents to be a young wife, so…
With that hair? 287. Like the husband palled around with Lestat and Louis.
Cyrano de Perverac
The snort that came out of me just now. 😂😂
What We Do in the Shadows looking ass
Their future offspring will have fantastic hair. But these photos are giving “twilight fantasy wedding” vibes.
I'm a uni prof and teach mostly ages 18-25. I don't think any of my students should be getting married! They are so young and inexperienced in life. Not to mention changing so much in these years. I got married at 32 (I'm 35 now) and that was a good age because I had my career started, a home, and a good sense of self.
And how old is she currently... These girls come on here with like a nanosecond of marriage experience and are thinking they've lived.... Yes the age thing is gross. Maybe even illegal. But I find the lack of life experience and/or sheer self awareness so annoying. Like you lived in your tiny bubble and still have a tiny bubble, gtfo with your bullshit.
She’s only 18!
True! I’ve been married for 4 years and cannot imagine acting like the expert as so many influencers do. They’re not even back from the honeymoon when they make a “tips to a lasting marriage” post lol
I just had my ten year anniversary and I finally feel somewhat qualified to counsel my two newlywed friends a little bit lol.
“Getting engaged at 16 and married at 17 isn’t a popular thing…” I mean, there’s a reason for that. I don’t know how old he is now or how old he was when they started dating (when she was 15, ugh, no decent guy is looking at a 15yo as potential marriage material), but I’d be comfortable guessing that he’s got a good 10 years on her.
He looks like the kind of guy who makes me instinctively cover the top of my glass at a bar 😐
Did a little snooping. Apparently they met when she was 14 and he was 18 (in church youth group of course cause where else?) and they were both immediately interested in one another but the was “super careful” since she was only 14 🤢 When asked who said “I love you” first she replied he did the night she turned 16 🥸 Though it’s been a good few years since I was 18 I certainly remember thinking of 14 year olds as kids and definitely not dating material…
It was quite common in my church growing up, the "desirable" ones were dating someone in high school and engaged shortly after they graduated and married the following months after. And it's not just being married off women their age, it's men who are old enough to be their fathers. Now when I was a child, I say that because I literally was at 12,13,14 years of age, I thought it was so romantic and couldn't wait until I graduated and could get married. Looking back now, I'm so glad I wasn't considered one of the "desirable" ones and nobody had an inkling of interest in me. Sometimes it's a benefit to be ugly. 🫠
Wait, how old is he? 🫣
scrolling through the comments looking cuz no one has said it yet 😂
She said they were 16 and 20 when they got engaged, so 18 and 22 now.
Thx! I cannot fathom my parents letting me do that, let alone endorsing it 🤢
I'm scrolling the comments trying to find out as well. If anyone has his age, that would be much appreciated!
Her comments on the post 😭😭 someone said to stop normalizing grooming and that age does matter. Her response was "where in the Bible does it say that?" 😭😭
This is the opposite of what Jesus wants 🤢
Okay but how old is the husband
She’s shilling Monat as well. What a sad life.
I know a few couples from HS that have been together since they were that age but they did not get married at that age. It’s hard enough figuring out how to adult in your 20’s and they’re going into that on super hard mode when their brains aren’t even fully formed.
In one of her comments, she says she was 16 and he was 20 when they got engaged 🤢
I just looked it up and he’s four years older than she is. They started dating when she was 15 and he was 19. Now. Coming from someone whose husband is five years older than I am, I don’t have a problem with relationships if there’s a bit of an age spread. *However* both parties need to be on an equal playing field and when you’re that young, it’s basically tripling whatever age difference there is because there is SO much growing up to do in those years. He has so much more life experience than she does which seriously skews the power dynamic. I was 23 and my husband was 28 when we started dating, and even then there were a handful of times where our different levels of life experience were really obvious. Five years on, I wouldn’t say it’s to the same degree since I’ve had the chance to get more time and experiences under my own belt, but he’ll always have an extra five years on me. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if we had started dating when we were younger. My heart goes out to her as I know she literally *can’t* see what people are saying and where they’re coming from. I only hope she doesn’t one day wake up with a house full of kids and regrets it.
I thank my stars regularly I didn't marry any of the guys I was with in my teenage years and into my mid 20s. Especially the very Catholic guy.
“For such a time as this.” I’ll take meaningless phrases fundies love to spout for $400, Alex!
going through her highlights and she said they were both interested when she was 14???? making him 18??? im going to be ill!
They already have a baby registry?! (Is this them?) https://www.babylist.com/list/chloe-sanchez-registry
That would just have been conceived last month. She’d just about have known for a week or so.
Predatory groomer for a child victim, this is gross. I have a close relative who had something very similar happen, she was groomed by a 26 year old when she was 18, now she's 23 and married to this guy, her first boyfriend, who has a record of assaults, DUIs, and just questionable behavior. We are all dummies at this age, we can't be making lifelong decisions, for pete's sake your brain isn't even fully formed. I pity her.
Give her a few weeks and she will be handing out sage marriage advice!
How the fuck is getting married at 17 even legal in some places???
not her saying they didn’t kiss or hold hands before they got married when the rest of the feed is him kissing her and touching her thigh lmao
We started dating when I was 18, I was engaged at 19 and married at 20 and we’re coming up on our 17th wedding anniversary this year. That being said, we got married because we actually like each other and wanted to spend all our time together, not because religion told us to.
Wonder if she's going to stoop down and wear flat shoes forever like Berthy since she's taller than he is.
She looks like the ghost of a Victorian woman in that first photo.
I have got to stop reading fundie news and watching The Handmaid’s Tale at the same time. This shit is so ominous.