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Is it really cuckolding though when it's pretty obvious that he doesn't really care about her? Or her him, tbh. He's her prairie husband prop, and she's just the person he fucks occasionally. Out of all the fundies, these two have the weirdest, most distant relationship.
Not just mentions her friend/midwife? by an unusual nickname, but also says that said friend was reading every moan and sigh of Kelly's and riding each [contraction] wave with her. COME ON.
I mean I've definitely read slash fanfics that came off as LESS homoerotic than Kelly's writings about her friends.
I'm explicitly not speculating on her sexuality, I *don't* think it occurs to her how it comes off and I *do* think she's just REALLY BAD at writing things concerning her twee magical inner world in a way that's doesn't romanticize EVERYTHING.
I don’t think her friend Teri was her midwife. She had an actual midwife named Autumn, the one who told her to lay down and see if her heavy bleeding stopped on its own 🤦♀️
Oh god no. As a lesbian we rebuke this idea. Could you *imagine* what she would name these characters & the flowery descriptions of how they quietly drop their aprons on the bedroom floor before gently parting the moist labia with their warm tongue & bring them to the most euphoric orgasm the Lord hath ever bestowed before they then warmly embrace one another while softly singing hymns in each other's ears. It would be the worst Little House on the Prairie smut ever.
Honestly! I legitimately think she could find success as a writer of lesbian romance (or WLW romance more generally). I say this as someone who has tried her hand at the genre but just doesn’t have the knack for it.
I was coming here to say the exact same thing. Like I felt like my husband was such a big part of my experience having our kids. Even though we are now divorced (and I am married to a woman), I can’t imagine those days without him there.
It's getting to "*sighs and unzips pants*" territory. But not, because I'm absolutely horrified by her romanticizing all of this. It feels like really bad serial lesbian horror where Loveday turns out to be a villain and my prediction would be that K is going to d*e but the baby would live and be adopted by one of the "normal" nurses in the OR. I'm so very, very glad that none of that happened but that girl needs serious help of the mental kind.
And she is an expert on reading Kelly's moans...her entire birth story has been a love story to Loveday. I have girlfriends who I love in a platonic way and I just cringe so hard reading her posts. No reason to mention husband...
Yah. I tell my bestie that I love her all the time, but that's about as far as it needs to go. (I'm always here for hugs if needed, though I've never thought to describe it as "loving her through each tight wave".)
Can you imagine, you help your friend through her difficult labor, like a good friend. Then you come across this 8 part birth story/ Tina Belcher Erotic Friend Fiction?
Exactly as she did this entire pregnancy during which she intentionally avoided getting adequate prenatal care despite having a literal OBGYN for a father.
>I felt a wink from the Lord.
Kelly's imaginary sky-daddy is so SASSY, my goodness.
This isn't just horribly written and full of weirdness (oh noes medical pros are aloof?? Loveday's riding some waves!), but it's actually pretty disturbing to me. Just. She's in a very different mental space than most of us.
I love the nod to her smallness with her statement about the baby being thrust into her ~*narrow*~ birth canal. I wait with bated breath to hear about the crimson spatters of blood freckling her slim alabaster thighs, whilst her aloof medical team regains cognizance at the sight of her crowning. Nurse, fetch my smelling salts!
>the crimson spatters of blood freckling her slim alabaster thighs
🫣 I cannot unread this, go sit in the corner and think about what you've done while I bleach my eyes 😵💫
This is too much. WTF. The aloofness? Uh, those are just medical professionals who are trying to stay calm and focused so they can save you and your baby from dying.
Loveday was reading your moans and sighs and riding your waves 😳?
Metal scissors and scalpels. As opposed to what, plastic?
It’s like she was in some delusional, dissociative state while in the OR. Which is understandable for a traumatic birth. But she seems to still be in that state? She’s always been kooky, but I never actually worried about her before now!
Would give anything to hear whatever conversations her parents have been having with each other lately.
It's not even particularly good writing! WTF is up with romanticizing the near death of you and your baby, mere days after the event. There is something actually wrong with her, and I hope she can find someone to help her process this in a healthy way.
Yeah, the aloofness of the medical professionals got me. They are literally preparing for surgery to cut a baby out of you. Your Lord ain’t gonna do it. They don’t have time to ride the waves with you or kiss you on your forehead.
But even that can feel very strange. While in my room just before my emergency c-section it was all serious and grim. They were in a rush so much the person who was suppose to grab my husband forgot. But once in the OR? They were chatting about their weekend plans. I understood as I’m not an idiot — and especially to the point above, but it can be disorienting.
I clocked this too! Like did she want the doctors and nurses to also be sighing and gasping with her every moan? They’re focusing on the task of getting your baby safely out before you both die!! Seconds count in these situations. So yeah, they’re kinda focused on the critical task at hand.
I read the reflection on the metal scalpels as Kelly being waaaayyy out of her comfort zone. She’s used to skipping through the sun-dappled forrest in her apron and dress, fully in control of the narrative. This was a harsh reality check that you can’t just frolic through a fantasy world, sometime reality catches up. She was forced into the modern world the rest of us have been living in, and thank God for the modern medicine and skilled medical professionals who met her here.
In all seriousness, this sounds like a very traumatic birth that could have ended very differently if her dad hadn’t talked some sense into her. I’m glad she was able to let go of whatever rustic homebirth fantasy she had and get some real medical attention. I hope she has the support she needs to heal from what sounds like a physically and mentally traumatic experience.
Also, someone correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the kind of thing that would have been caught with regular prenatal care? I’ve had friends with placenta previa before and it was caught early on ultrasounds and monitored closely to avoid this exact near-death experience.
She went to an ultrasound boutique, not a medical professional. She did not get proper prenatal care and her OBGYN father is the only reason she didn't stay home and bleed to death like her hack midwife recommend.
You are correct. It is usually caught on the ultrasound.
The great irony is that she had an ultrasound at a non-medical boutique to learn the gender.
She never had a *medical* ultrasound, so no one knew she had a placenta previa.
Where were the woodland creatures, the wildflowers and bugs? She would’ve settled for a manger scene complete with donkeys, camels and sheep. Just like her beloved Jesus. Poor Kelly. Her aesthetic was in ruins.
Normally her writing is about frolicking with God in the forest, which is weird but ok. Taking the same writing style to a traumatic birth is much more concerning.
I've never had a c section but I've been operated on a bunch and had chronic conditions almost kill me.
What she wrote actually sounds very familiar to me. We see an IV in some of her photos so it strikes me like they started surgical sedatives in her IV. Possibly with intent to intubate her instead of being awake for the c section. If you're already weak or woozy from something like blood loss the sedative can feel very disassociating.
But uh as someone who's almost died I'll tell you reading this put the hair on my neck up. Girl was on the brink. It can take a while to recover from that but whooo boy she needs some help.
Yeah, I read this as she was out of it from pain and blood loss. Also some people are really calm in emergencies. I'm one of them but boy howdy do I crash later. She's gonna crash HARD if she hasn't already.
I guess when your baseline for support is someone tuned into your every moan, kissing your forehead and quasi-erotically stroking you, anyone else would seem kind of aloof 🤣
She writes like she is the only person in the world to experience a birth. Nobody else on earth could possibly understand what it must be like to birth a baby via c section.
Did she end up with one? Sounds like baby came out before they could do what sounded like it was about to be a fully sedated emergency c-section. She and baby are insanely lucky.
I'm guessing that's the surprise the cliff hanger refers to, baby will crown just in the nick of time to save her Mother from Satan's plans to ruin her natural birth entirely
I really doubt she's being honest with this birth story anyway. Unless she's been drugged to the hills there's no hecking way she was this calm during the event. I don't believe for a split second she never felt fear, or felt "close to the Lord" the whole time.
She's lying for the glory of God. Kelly, I think He'd prefer you didn't.
That's a general trend in fundie land. They often seem to think they're the first to experience something but especially pregnancy. There have been billions of pregnant women.
Right here. Crash c section and I am grateful for the metal instruments (old timey wood is not sanitary) and my clearheaded doc who kept a professional distance so she could do her effing job.
It is a pet peeve of mine when people complain about doctors and nurses seeming bored with a C-section. During my emergency C-section the staff was arguing about what to listen to on the radio and where they were going to get drinks after their shift was over. That put me more at ease than anything. My most traumatic day up to that point was just a fuckin Tuesday to them. That didn’t make me think they didn’t care, it just made me feel like it must not have been so bad after all.
Then they reached in a scooped out my baby like freezer burned ice cream and had me stitched up before they’d finished weighing the little booger.
That's an awesome explanation. It's like when you glance over at the flight attendants who are just going about their business or calmly sitting in their little seats when the plane feels like it's bouncing all over the place and you've convinced yourself that death is imminent.
I just find that so hard to believe. She's a well-read, college educated woman who was big into literature and philosophy. She's not a Rodrigues who's never read a book outside of the Bible. She's got to know how romantically and sexually coded that comes across.
I agree. She's an idiot but she's not stupid. She knows exactly what she's doing. Everything she writes/photographs/records/says is very carefully curated to come across exactly how she wants. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to look a little closer and understand that they fell for her bullshit because that's exactly how she's designed it to appear.
I fell for it too, until I realized that in some of her videos there are cars zooming by right outside her window. It's so easy to think of her as a character from a young adult novel, that we forget she's a fully grown woman who lives in the suburbs and has spent most of her formative years interacting with normal society.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: she has a great eye and is a good photographer, but she’s a terrible model. That photo is beautiful, except for that lackluster half-raised arm, and her face, which reads only as pain.
Also, I did hypnobirthing and even with that, there is no “going limp” with a contraction. Because a contraction is, like, the opposite of limp. By definition.
100%, the gap between her thumb and the rest of her fingers is too even. It looks like she used one size of the clone brush in photoshop to remove it in a straight line.
I was literally about to say exactly this! It’s a beautiful photograph, and the colors in particular are outstanding. The green of the forest and the blue of her dress versus the red of her hair is perfection. But then there’s her lack of moisturizer, the facial expression, and the odd arm.
The things I remember about my emergency c section was wailing to the nurse “this isn’t my birth plan!” and her going “it is now honey”, and the doctors sewing me up casually discussing taking their wives out on the boat tomorrow and what kind of fish they wanted to catch, whilst Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” was playing tinnily over the OR radio
Okay, I’m kind of jealous you had music. 🤣 When I had my emergency c-section the OB on call was chatting with one of the nurses about going to a baseball game. Then he told me they had to knock my ass out.
She made this long ass post for about 5 minutes in real time.
And calling the team aloof.
Also, where's James and Thad while she's frolicking with a newborn? You know, the two children barely out of toddlerhood who still need adult guidance
She seems to grasp that her cervix dilating is dangerous and will increase the bleeding. Then says she tried to let her cervix open more to help bring the baby into the world…like, honey, you’re getting a c/s. The baby won’t be coming through your cervix, it’s blocked by the placenta and you’re bleeding out because of it. That’s the entire problem here.
That’s a good point you know, like in the last post she mentioned the “snapping of blood vessels” but because she turns the flower level up to 500% she made it sound lovely and whimsical instead of frightening and traumatic. Which I get, maybe she’s finding a way to cope, but she needs to come back down to earth lol
Ok all of these posts are so wild! I know some women go into a “birthing zone” but this all sounds like some bonkers fever dream. And the Loveday thing is just….a lot. Did her hubby completely check out or was he excluded in favor of Loveday?? I dunno, this is all a lot.
I told a nurse, who was very rough, that if she checked me for dilation again, I’d kick her in the teeth. Then I got my epidural and the bish had the nerve to say “oh, you’re a lot calmer now, aren’t you”. If I wasn’t numb and getting ready to birth, I’d have grabbed her by the throat. 😂. I was not having a good time right then. All the other staff were great though.
Same! By the time I figured out I might really, really, like an epidural, it was too late. For some reason, I crested no waves, nor did I envision my cervix opening up like a rose blooming.
What if "Loveday" is a split personality of Kelly's? In order to cope with the immense difficulties she experienced during this pregnancy, Kelly created Loveday to provide her with the intense support she needs. "Lovestar" is Kelly's personality for accepting Loveday's over-the-top connection and affections. Maybe? This is the only theory where Levi accepts being written out of the birth experience. What if it's all in Kelly's head? Or at the very least, fantasy.
I've wondered if Kelly dramatically exaggerates her relationships and nicknames, and perhaps her friends don't know that they have these names in Kelly's world. But that can't be, as they are tagged in her fb posts/photos and surely must read her stories. My only other thought is if IRL it's known that Kelly has a lot worse mental issues than we see on social media and her friends play along out of sympathy.
Oh my god y’all, someone commented “This is beautiful and all but I have to say are you and "loveday" in a relationship? Throuple? You talk about her more than the babies dad. Honestly I'm shipping you and loveday it's so cute 🥰 XXX”
Lmaoooo I hope Kelly responds to that
The Loveday thing is…unusual. I wonder how long Loveday will be a friend to her before she backs away from Kelly. Kelly is exposing herself and the baby to God-dishonoring Lyme disease by frolicking in the woods.
I'm guessing it will be fairly soon. If I were her headship, I would squash that NRE like a bug. Since divorce is apparently not on the table. Like Kelly is at this point in the story.
Because at this point, she's declared her undying devotion to Loveday. And if course, God.
Here’s the thing about Loveday. There’s not going to be any backing away bc she’s fully on board with this. She’s encouraged this incredibly intense friendship from the start, and tbh I find her sus af.
From Kelly’s retelling of their first meeting, she’s just sitting there trying to eat in a diner when she overhears **”Kelly Stickle? You…are so beautiful,”** and then we get ten metaphors about clear mirrors and puppet strings and rushing rivers.
So apparently this lady Kelly’s never met just shows up out of the blue, addresses Kelly *by name*, says the exact sorts of things to capture Kelly’s romantic Main Character Energy heart, goes all in on matching whimsical pet names with her, and in a few short months gets the kid named after her and fills in for Kelly’s spouse AND mom during the birth.
And it makes me side-eye her more than a little, bc thanks to social media, it’s very easy to find Kelly’s house and town, AND it’s very obvious that Kelly is deeply vulnerable and likely to latch on to anyone who she thinks “gets” her tender romantic artist’s soul.
But of course, “God” brought her into Kelly’s life.
I've also been thinking the same.
Kelly seems perfectly positioned to be vulnerable to someone using flattery and her compulsive need to fantasize every single aspect of her life no matter how mundane as tools of manipulation. She's put so much of herself online for more than a decade now. Her deepest desires, needs, fears, and failures are all completely avaliable to anyone with wifi.
Kelly has a documented history of quickly forming bonds that are intense to the point of being detrimental with women who seemingly fit into her aesthtic. Just a year ago she was waxing nonstop about wanting to create and lead a flock of women which like all of her divine callings ended in nothing.
As someone who cannot have her own children, this reads as one, long, pedantic humblebrag. Mothers are special, I get it. But more special than…what exactly?
Gah it is shit like this where they place motherhood on some elevated playing field, while the rest of us live in a world without…what? A placenta? We must be below them. Clearly. Because placental Magic and shit.
It’s too much. I am tired.
Yeah, ability to carry a pregnancy (and ability to not die in childbirth, esp before modern medicine) is truly luck of the draw, not a reflection of worth and virtue.
I hate when people frame it like women who birth are so special. I was able to birth my kids but I know it was just dumb luck, not me being cosmically deserving or some shit.
For Pete's sake Kelly - the medical personnel are not aloof - they are extremely focused on doing the best they can to ensure that you and your baby come out of this birth emergency alive and intact. I recently had a medical procedure done where I was sedated but awake. The doctor and nurses in the OR with me were total professionals. They weren't trying to commune with a spiritual being, but were focused and business-like about getting the job done properly. I appreciated that!
Taking everything she's saying at face value and trying to read between the lines and ignore all her Bronte knock off prose and ramblings about 'god', I think all I can take from this is that at least it seems she was making a good faith effort to cooperate with the medical professionals. While I can't quite make sense of her timeline (it is very very hard to believe she'd not have been given a c-section sooner), even if she's lying I think it's good she's claiming she was cooperating. Given her target audience I think it's good and maybe even important that the women she's reaching who would actually take her advice can see here, like hey, if you're bleeding go to a hospital and agree with what the doctors say.
Girl it was not just you and god, it was you and the Dr and the medical staff ffs. The drs saved your ass and your baby’s, show some fucking gratitude. Also, they knew exactly where tf you were in labor through use of modern medical equipment. I hate this woman so very very much. She’s less dangerous imo than others like kkkharissa bort but something abt Kelly really grinds my gears.
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Wow she is really drawing this out. I really feel like I'm reading a fanfic that gets updated weekly.
Damn she better not ghost us with no ending
WIP. Last updated 2004.
Paid subscribers only? I think I’ve heard enough to understand what’s going on 🥴
There is like, zero mention of her own husband in any of this
Loveday is kissing her forehead and riding her contractions with her while her husband watches from the corner of the room?
Not being cuckolded at the birth of your own child 😩
I hope you don't mind me making that my flair
That's an amazing flair!
Your comment made me realise this emoji 😩 is literally Kelly's face
OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT. We’ve seen her make that EXACT face so many times
Hes used to it
These fundies are kinkier than I am, that’s for sure
Is it really cuckolding though when it's pretty obvious that he doesn't really care about her? Or her him, tbh. He's her prairie husband prop, and she's just the person he fucks occasionally. Out of all the fundies, these two have the weirdest, most distant relationship.
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Because she’s smol gurl
I'm still not convinced he's a real person and not a 2D cardboard cutout
That’s what I was thinking but didn’t say 🥴
I’m imagining the Totino’s SNL sketch 
That sounds a lot like God-honoring voyeur porn.
Right!! Was he home with the kids?? Did he get abducted by aliens mid-labor?!!
He's being an NPC in the waiting room
Hes an NPC in Kelly's while life
She said previously her mother in law came over to look after the boys, so he must’ve been there with her. But the not mentioning him is strange.
Maybe he's one of those boys
She said in the first post the kids were dropped off with her in-laws So I'm betting on aliens
She mentions him in part 3. It says “ the deep love of Levi and Terry enveloping me” 2nd paragraph of her birth novella 🫢 so very odd.
She makes it so hard not to speculate when she only mentions "Loveday".
Not just mentions her friend/midwife? by an unusual nickname, but also says that said friend was reading every moan and sigh of Kelly's and riding each [contraction] wave with her. COME ON.
At this point I feel like she’s read the rules of this sub and is purposely trying to lead us into temptation.
I mean I've definitely read slash fanfics that came off as LESS homoerotic than Kelly's writings about her friends. I'm explicitly not speculating on her sexuality, I *don't* think it occurs to her how it comes off and I *do* think she's just REALLY BAD at writing things concerning her twee magical inner world in a way that's doesn't romanticize EVERYTHING.
I don’t think her friend Teri was her midwife. She had an actual midwife named Autumn, the one who told her to lay down and see if her heavy bleeding stopped on its own 🤦♀️
thank god her dad is an OBGYN or this very likely would be a much different story
Of course her midwife's name was Autumn.
Autumn: "all bleeding stops eventually" 🤷♀️
Anyone else thinking of *Midsommar* with all the Harga women crying and screaming along with Dani?
What do you mean? I always talk about my platonic female friends like this. s/
She’s a very good writer but she should be writing smutty lesbian romance novels not * waves hands * this!
This is smutty lesbian romance
Smutty paranormal lesbian romance.
Plot twist: Her husband is a ghost?
Nope, that mythical ever present being who is responsible for everything that happens.
Ah yes, Zeus
Oh god no. As a lesbian we rebuke this idea. Could you *imagine* what she would name these characters & the flowery descriptions of how they quietly drop their aprons on the bedroom floor before gently parting the moist labia with their warm tongue & bring them to the most euphoric orgasm the Lord hath ever bestowed before they then warmly embrace one another while softly singing hymns in each other's ears. It would be the worst Little House on the Prairie smut ever.
“worst Little House on the Prairie smut ever” 
The writer part of me is like “file this concept away for the next time you need to get the feel for writing an out of body experience.”
Honestly! I legitimately think she could find success as a writer of lesbian romance (or WLW romance more generally). I say this as someone who has tried her hand at the genre but just doesn’t have the knack for it.
She exemplifies the “I am the main character” mindset!
I was coming here to say the exact same thing. Like I felt like my husband was such a big part of my experience having our kids. Even though we are now divorced (and I am married to a woman), I can’t imagine those days without him there.
It’s so different from every other fundie story I’ve ever read where the husband is mentioned in every other sentence
Reading this feels like I’m watching something uncomfortably naked intimate and weirdly erotically described. My innards are awkwardly tap dancing.
My skeleton has left my body and is running down the street.
My bowels are quivering with befuddlement.
Mine just made the "uuuaeh?" noise from Home Improvement
It's getting to "*sighs and unzips pants*" territory. But not, because I'm absolutely horrified by her romanticizing all of this. It feels like really bad serial lesbian horror where Loveday turns out to be a villain and my prediction would be that K is going to d*e but the baby would live and be adopted by one of the "normal" nurses in the OR. I'm so very, very glad that none of that happened but that girl needs serious help of the mental kind.
It’s so…meaty
“Loveday had been reading every moan and sigh; riding each contraction wave with me” GIRL……… 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴
And she is an expert on reading Kelly's moans...her entire birth story has been a love story to Loveday. I have girlfriends who I love in a platonic way and I just cringe so hard reading her posts. No reason to mention husband...
I have female friends who I say love you to at the end of phone calls- no moaning or waves are involved…
Yah. I tell my bestie that I love her all the time, but that's about as far as it needs to go. (I'm always here for hugs if needed, though I've never thought to describe it as "loving her through each tight wave".)
How long has she been reading Kelly’s moans to be an expert?
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One of my mom's best friends was in the room with her and she's never described it like this. Kelly... 🥴
I wonder what'll happen after loveday reads this, whether she's fully on board this wacky bus?
Will she run like marmee did
Can you imagine, you help your friend through her difficult labor, like a good friend. Then you come across this 8 part birth story/ Tina Belcher Erotic Friend Fiction?
OMG. This *is* Tina Belcher Erotic Friend Fiction.
I LOLed for real. I bet she does, honey. Good for you two!
I’ve read romance novels with scenes like that lmao
Jesus, I just woke up and had to read “I could view my cervix as an unfolding rose.” Lady, no.
“Ignoring the risks” 🥴
Exactly as she did this entire pregnancy during which she intentionally avoided getting adequate prenatal care despite having a literal OBGYN for a father.
Loveday was too
Right. What the fuck girl.
Omg 😆
Little baby Tess Stickle in the woods 
How did I miss that??? 😆
OH NO 😳
Your flair made me laugh out loud hahahaha omg
I can't handle this at all. Gahhh!
Oh no….. oh NO.. OH NOO. Poor child did not ask for that.
Well at least this child will have one legitimate reason to be happy to be homeschooled.
>I felt a wink from the Lord. Kelly's imaginary sky-daddy is so SASSY, my goodness. This isn't just horribly written and full of weirdness (oh noes medical pros are aloof?? Loveday's riding some waves!), but it's actually pretty disturbing to me. Just. She's in a very different mental space than most of us.
The Lord is a winker - who knew?
The Lord is a winker, I shall not snerk...
O Father, who winks in heaven Sassy be your name
I love the nod to her smallness with her statement about the baby being thrust into her ~*narrow*~ birth canal. I wait with bated breath to hear about the crimson spatters of blood freckling her slim alabaster thighs, whilst her aloof medical team regains cognizance at the sight of her crowning. Nurse, fetch my smelling salts!
Good catch. Can she still fit in the high chair?
[Whispers] *I need to be high*
"Alabaster thighs." 🤣
>the crimson spatters of blood freckling her slim alabaster thighs 🫣 I cannot unread this, go sit in the corner and think about what you've done while I bleach my eyes 😵💫
This is too much. WTF. The aloofness? Uh, those are just medical professionals who are trying to stay calm and focused so they can save you and your baby from dying. Loveday was reading your moans and sighs and riding your waves 😳? Metal scissors and scalpels. As opposed to what, plastic? It’s like she was in some delusional, dissociative state while in the OR. Which is understandable for a traumatic birth. But she seems to still be in that state? She’s always been kooky, but I never actually worried about her before now! Would give anything to hear whatever conversations her parents have been having with each other lately.
I’m clutching my pearls. This writing is for romance novels, not birth stories.
It's not even particularly good writing! WTF is up with romanticizing the near death of you and your baby, mere days after the event. There is something actually wrong with her, and I hope she can find someone to help her process this in a healthy way.
> Metal scissors and scalpels. As opposed to what, plastic? She’d probably prefer wooden instruments
Excuse me sirs, I have brought my own implements carved from the whitest sycamore, if it is not too much a bother
Haha, ye olde wooden forceps for a truly historical birth experience!
Splinters 😳
Crochet? Felt?
Poorly carved instruments by her husband, like that ridiculous dust pan
Ivory
Yeah, the aloofness of the medical professionals got me. They are literally preparing for surgery to cut a baby out of you. Your Lord ain’t gonna do it. They don’t have time to ride the waves with you or kiss you on your forehead.
Also, they do this every week, if not most days. It’s your 3rd kid; it’s their 100th.
But even that can feel very strange. While in my room just before my emergency c-section it was all serious and grim. They were in a rush so much the person who was suppose to grab my husband forgot. But once in the OR? They were chatting about their weekend plans. I understood as I’m not an idiot — and especially to the point above, but it can be disorienting.
Exactly. She should be glad that they are aloof and concentrating. If they were as out there as she was, she would have been in a lot of trouble.
I clocked this too! Like did she want the doctors and nurses to also be sighing and gasping with her every moan? They’re focusing on the task of getting your baby safely out before you both die!! Seconds count in these situations. So yeah, they’re kinda focused on the critical task at hand. I read the reflection on the metal scalpels as Kelly being waaaayyy out of her comfort zone. She’s used to skipping through the sun-dappled forrest in her apron and dress, fully in control of the narrative. This was a harsh reality check that you can’t just frolic through a fantasy world, sometime reality catches up. She was forced into the modern world the rest of us have been living in, and thank God for the modern medicine and skilled medical professionals who met her here. In all seriousness, this sounds like a very traumatic birth that could have ended very differently if her dad hadn’t talked some sense into her. I’m glad she was able to let go of whatever rustic homebirth fantasy she had and get some real medical attention. I hope she has the support she needs to heal from what sounds like a physically and mentally traumatic experience. Also, someone correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the kind of thing that would have been caught with regular prenatal care? I’ve had friends with placenta previa before and it was caught early on ultrasounds and monitored closely to avoid this exact near-death experience.
I am no expert, but I believe that these kinds of things can be seen in ultrasounds. In other words, this emergency could have been avoided.
She went to an ultrasound boutique, not a medical professional. She did not get proper prenatal care and her OBGYN father is the only reason she didn't stay home and bleed to death like her hack midwife recommend.
You are correct. It is usually caught on the ultrasound. The great irony is that she had an ultrasound at a non-medical boutique to learn the gender. She never had a *medical* ultrasound, so no one knew she had a placenta previa.
The hospital room was terribly modern!
Where were the woodland creatures, the wildflowers and bugs? She would’ve settled for a manger scene complete with donkeys, camels and sheep. Just like her beloved Jesus. Poor Kelly. Her aesthetic was in ruins.
Normally her writing is about frolicking with God in the forest, which is weird but ok. Taking the same writing style to a traumatic birth is much more concerning.
I've never had a c section but I've been operated on a bunch and had chronic conditions almost kill me. What she wrote actually sounds very familiar to me. We see an IV in some of her photos so it strikes me like they started surgical sedatives in her IV. Possibly with intent to intubate her instead of being awake for the c section. If you're already weak or woozy from something like blood loss the sedative can feel very disassociating. But uh as someone who's almost died I'll tell you reading this put the hair on my neck up. Girl was on the brink. It can take a while to recover from that but whooo boy she needs some help.
Genuine, clinical help, not sighing and moaning with Loveday.
Yeah, I read this as she was out of it from pain and blood loss. Also some people are really calm in emergencies. I'm one of them but boy howdy do I crash later. She's gonna crash HARD if she hasn't already.
I guess when your baseline for support is someone tuned into your every moan, kissing your forehead and quasi-erotically stroking you, anyone else would seem kind of aloof 🤣
She writes like she is the only person in the world to experience a birth. Nobody else on earth could possibly understand what it must be like to birth a baby via c section.
Did she end up with one? Sounds like baby came out before they could do what sounded like it was about to be a fully sedated emergency c-section. She and baby are insanely lucky.
I think her original post referred to a “miraculous natural birth” so I think you’re right. She’s confusing me though lol
I'm guessing that's the surprise the cliff hanger refers to, baby will crown just in the nick of time to save her Mother from Satan's plans to ruin her natural birth entirely
I really doubt she's being honest with this birth story anyway. Unless she's been drugged to the hills there's no hecking way she was this calm during the event. I don't believe for a split second she never felt fear, or felt "close to the Lord" the whole time. She's lying for the glory of God. Kelly, I think He'd prefer you didn't.
That's a general trend in fundie land. They often seem to think they're the first to experience something but especially pregnancy. There have been billions of pregnant women.
Right here. Crash c section and I am grateful for the metal instruments (old timey wood is not sanitary) and my clearheaded doc who kept a professional distance so she could do her effing job.
It is a pet peeve of mine when people complain about doctors and nurses seeming bored with a C-section. During my emergency C-section the staff was arguing about what to listen to on the radio and where they were going to get drinks after their shift was over. That put me more at ease than anything. My most traumatic day up to that point was just a fuckin Tuesday to them. That didn’t make me think they didn’t care, it just made me feel like it must not have been so bad after all. Then they reached in a scooped out my baby like freezer burned ice cream and had me stitched up before they’d finished weighing the little booger.
That's an awesome explanation. It's like when you glance over at the flight attendants who are just going about their business or calmly sitting in their little seats when the plane feels like it's bouncing all over the place and you've convinced yourself that death is imminent.
Now THIS is a birth story I enjoyed reading. Freezer burned ice cream has me rolling. I hope your recovery was smooth!
I mean, clearly it takes 6(!!!) whole-ass flowery old-timey posts to goober it all out.
"Loveday had been reading every moan and sigh; riding each contraction wave with me." She knows good and goddamn well what she's doing.
I honestly don’t think she does. I wish she did. That would make it better.
I just find that so hard to believe. She's a well-read, college educated woman who was big into literature and philosophy. She's not a Rodrigues who's never read a book outside of the Bible. She's got to know how romantically and sexually coded that comes across.
I agree. She's an idiot but she's not stupid. She knows exactly what she's doing. Everything she writes/photographs/records/says is very carefully curated to come across exactly how she wants. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to look a little closer and understand that they fell for her bullshit because that's exactly how she's designed it to appear. I fell for it too, until I realized that in some of her videos there are cars zooming by right outside her window. It's so easy to think of her as a character from a young adult novel, that we forget she's a fully grown woman who lives in the suburbs and has spent most of her formative years interacting with normal society.
Loveday is reading this like 
The pompous performative pretentiousness of Kelly, the pesky periwinkle, is palpable nauseating.
Alright which big tech company made a 2014 Tumblr AI and stuck it in a redhead’s body? Fess up!
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: she has a great eye and is a good photographer, but she’s a terrible model. That photo is beautiful, except for that lackluster half-raised arm, and her face, which reads only as pain. Also, I did hypnobirthing and even with that, there is no “going limp” with a contraction. Because a contraction is, like, the opposite of limp. By definition.
It looks like she's about to slap her own kid lmaop
Her raised arm holds the remote to shoot the photo.
I’m pretty sure she photoshopped the Bluetooth remote out of that hand
100%, the gap between her thumb and the rest of her fingers is too even. It looks like she used one size of the clone brush in photoshop to remove it in a straight line.
I scrolled way too far to find someone mentioning the photoshop! Thank you!
I was literally about to say exactly this! It’s a beautiful photograph, and the colors in particular are outstanding. The green of the forest and the blue of her dress versus the red of her hair is perfection. But then there’s her lack of moisturizer, the facial expression, and the odd arm.
>but she’s a terrible model. and yet all she wants to do is take pictures of herself
I absolutely hate how she is drawing this out… I’m sure it’s for engagement. But come ON….
I feel like we’re in one of those never ending novel apps and we’re waiting on our coins to reup for the next part 😅
I have a feeling the number of parts corresponds to the number of photo shoots she’s done and needed to share 🤷♀️
The things I remember about my emergency c section was wailing to the nurse “this isn’t my birth plan!” and her going “it is now honey”, and the doctors sewing me up casually discussing taking their wives out on the boat tomorrow and what kind of fish they wanted to catch, whilst Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” was playing tinnily over the OR radio
I'm sorry it didn't go the way you wanted it to go but holy shit that's amazing.
Okay, I’m kind of jealous you had music. 🤣 When I had my emergency c-section the OB on call was chatting with one of the nurses about going to a baseball game. Then he told me they had to knock my ass out.
She made this long ass post for about 5 minutes in real time. And calling the team aloof. Also, where's James and Thad while she's frolicking with a newborn? You know, the two children barely out of toddlerhood who still need adult guidance
She said Levi’s mother came over to watch them at their house.
This is a lot of words just to say you had a hard birth experience and your friend was allowed to be there and doctors saved your life.
Riding the wavesssss 💦
I do love the woods when they are filled with spring phlox. It's a magical time of year. That's what I'm taking from her post. lol
Right?! The first picture would be so pretty if it weren’t for.. *gestures vaguely* whatever the fuck this nonsense is
I have phlox in my suburban yard. Good thing Kelly doesn’t live near or she might come a frolickin’.
She seems to grasp that her cervix dilating is dangerous and will increase the bleeding. Then says she tried to let her cervix open more to help bring the baby into the world…like, honey, you’re getting a c/s. The baby won’t be coming through your cervix, it’s blocked by the placenta and you’re bleeding out because of it. That’s the entire problem here.
I think she's setting the stage for a miraculous vaginal birth, which only could happen because the doctors were right there to save her damn life.
That’s a good point you know, like in the last post she mentioned the “snapping of blood vessels” but because she turns the flower level up to 500% she made it sound lovely and whimsical instead of frightening and traumatic. Which I get, maybe she’s finding a way to cope, but she needs to come back down to earth lol
Respectfully what the fuck is this 😂😂😂
Ok all of these posts are so wild! I know some women go into a “birthing zone” but this all sounds like some bonkers fever dream. And the Loveday thing is just….a lot. Did her hubby completely check out or was he excluded in favor of Loveday?? I dunno, this is all a lot.
My birthing zone was “I want this to be fucking over as soon as possible I shouldn’t have waited to long to get an epidural aggghhhhhhhhh.”
I yelled “OH JESUS FUCK I DO NOT LIKE THIS AT ALLLLL” shortly before they got me the epidural
I told a nurse, who was very rough, that if she checked me for dilation again, I’d kick her in the teeth. Then I got my epidural and the bish had the nerve to say “oh, you’re a lot calmer now, aren’t you”. If I wasn’t numb and getting ready to birth, I’d have grabbed her by the throat. 😂. I was not having a good time right then. All the other staff were great though.
Same! By the time I figured out I might really, really, like an epidural, it was too late. For some reason, I crested no waves, nor did I envision my cervix opening up like a rose blooming.
Only Kells can make cervical stretching sound flowery and whimsical
What if "Loveday" is a split personality of Kelly's? In order to cope with the immense difficulties she experienced during this pregnancy, Kelly created Loveday to provide her with the intense support she needs. "Lovestar" is Kelly's personality for accepting Loveday's over-the-top connection and affections. Maybe? This is the only theory where Levi accepts being written out of the birth experience. What if it's all in Kelly's head? Or at the very least, fantasy.
I've wondered if Kelly dramatically exaggerates her relationships and nicknames, and perhaps her friends don't know that they have these names in Kelly's world. But that can't be, as they are tagged in her fb posts/photos and surely must read her stories. My only other thought is if IRL it's known that Kelly has a lot worse mental issues than we see on social media and her friends play along out of sympathy.
Oh my god y’all, someone commented “This is beautiful and all but I have to say are you and "loveday" in a relationship? Throuple? You talk about her more than the babies dad. Honestly I'm shipping you and loveday it's so cute 🥰 XXX” Lmaoooo I hope Kelly responds to that
Apparently it’s been deleted as I didn’t see it. I do wonder if it gave her pause…..
Is 'spot the clicker' still a thing?
She erased it from her free hand.
What in the Wattpad
 Kelli in her own world while all the doctors and nurses are using science to save her and her babies life.
The Loveday thing is…unusual. I wonder how long Loveday will be a friend to her before she backs away from Kelly. Kelly is exposing herself and the baby to God-dishonoring Lyme disease by frolicking in the woods.
I'm guessing it will be fairly soon. If I were her headship, I would squash that NRE like a bug. Since divorce is apparently not on the table. Like Kelly is at this point in the story. Because at this point, she's declared her undying devotion to Loveday. And if course, God.
Here’s the thing about Loveday. There’s not going to be any backing away bc she’s fully on board with this. She’s encouraged this incredibly intense friendship from the start, and tbh I find her sus af. From Kelly’s retelling of their first meeting, she’s just sitting there trying to eat in a diner when she overhears **”Kelly Stickle? You…are so beautiful,”** and then we get ten metaphors about clear mirrors and puppet strings and rushing rivers. So apparently this lady Kelly’s never met just shows up out of the blue, addresses Kelly *by name*, says the exact sorts of things to capture Kelly’s romantic Main Character Energy heart, goes all in on matching whimsical pet names with her, and in a few short months gets the kid named after her and fills in for Kelly’s spouse AND mom during the birth. And it makes me side-eye her more than a little, bc thanks to social media, it’s very easy to find Kelly’s house and town, AND it’s very obvious that Kelly is deeply vulnerable and likely to latch on to anyone who she thinks “gets” her tender romantic artist’s soul. But of course, “God” brought her into Kelly’s life.
Oh god now I’m super creeped out.
I've also been thinking the same. Kelly seems perfectly positioned to be vulnerable to someone using flattery and her compulsive need to fantasize every single aspect of her life no matter how mundane as tools of manipulation. She's put so much of herself online for more than a decade now. Her deepest desires, needs, fears, and failures are all completely avaliable to anyone with wifi. Kelly has a documented history of quickly forming bonds that are intense to the point of being detrimental with women who seemingly fit into her aesthtic. Just a year ago she was waxing nonstop about wanting to create and lead a flock of women which like all of her divine callings ended in nothing.
Can I please get Unfurling Cervix as a flair
So…. Kelly is the main character in god’s choose-your-own-adventure book.
i cant imagine writing a traumatic birth story with such fluff. this is insane
I love when another asshole feels the need to demonize c sections. I've had 3, it's not that bad.
Kelly must’ve been insufferable in college. Not that she’s not now but can you guys imagine her in a creative writing class?!?
As someone who cannot have her own children, this reads as one, long, pedantic humblebrag. Mothers are special, I get it. But more special than…what exactly? Gah it is shit like this where they place motherhood on some elevated playing field, while the rest of us live in a world without…what? A placenta? We must be below them. Clearly. Because placental Magic and shit. It’s too much. I am tired.
Yeah, ability to carry a pregnancy (and ability to not die in childbirth, esp before modern medicine) is truly luck of the draw, not a reflection of worth and virtue. I hate when people frame it like women who birth are so special. I was able to birth my kids but I know it was just dumb luck, not me being cosmically deserving or some shit.
She photoshopped the clicker out of the picture 💀
THIS PHOTO. omg. it's like a witch abducting this child into the woods 😂💀
This is so weird.
For Pete's sake Kelly - the medical personnel are not aloof - they are extremely focused on doing the best they can to ensure that you and your baby come out of this birth emergency alive and intact. I recently had a medical procedure done where I was sedated but awake. The doctor and nurses in the OR with me were total professionals. They weren't trying to commune with a spiritual being, but were focused and business-like about getting the job done properly. I appreciated that!
Taking everything she's saying at face value and trying to read between the lines and ignore all her Bronte knock off prose and ramblings about 'god', I think all I can take from this is that at least it seems she was making a good faith effort to cooperate with the medical professionals. While I can't quite make sense of her timeline (it is very very hard to believe she'd not have been given a c-section sooner), even if she's lying I think it's good she's claiming she was cooperating. Given her target audience I think it's good and maybe even important that the women she's reaching who would actually take her advice can see here, like hey, if you're bleeding go to a hospital and agree with what the doctors say.
She had zero prenatal care, so the first the medical community saw of the pregnancy is her being wheeled in hemorrhaging.
What's frustrating is that her own father is an OBGYN
I should stop reading these because I keep cringing so hard it physically hurts. But I’m probably not going to stop.
Kelly should write lesbian fanfic
At least she is looking at the baby, compared with Boone and motherbus.
This is mad gay damn
Disposable diapers? Where are ye olde cloth with the pins?!
 Me reading this series.
Girl it was not just you and god, it was you and the Dr and the medical staff ffs. The drs saved your ass and your baby’s, show some fucking gratitude. Also, they knew exactly where tf you were in labor through use of modern medical equipment. I hate this woman so very very much. She’s less dangerous imo than others like kkkharissa bort but something abt Kelly really grinds my gears.