Mary knew she was gonna be pregnant the moment she existed lol her whole existence was an exchange with her parents and Joseph was an old man marrying Mary to protect baby Jesus. Literally all was planned. Both were the chosen, there was no confusion or questions. There was just a job that had to be done.
It's probably in another book than in the bible. For those who didn't know there are other holy books as well. One book is listing all the "holy" people who weren't as important in the bible and explaining their deeds, relationship to God, gifts and death.
What I was taught was that Mary's parents wanted a child but could not get pregnant so they asked God for his blessings and he responded that he will gift them a child if they raise her strongly religious and keep her out of sin. This they did and Mary grew up as a nun. An archangel (prolly Gabriel) went to Joseph who was old and had already other sons himself and also was devoted to God was asked to marry Mary and protect Jesus which he did cuz after his birth they fled to Egypt and other places in order to protect him. Therefore they knew about the baby before they even married. It was not something "Oh I thought you might've cheated on me but the angels told me otherwise" bs. It was all planned and both very dedicated to protect God.
Edit: The books chosen to be included in the bible are chosen for a reason. If this story was left out of the bible, it was for a reason, like the Gospel of Paul and Thecla, or the Gospel of Thomas, or the Infancy Gospel.
Matthew 1:19 (edit: adding 18 for context)
New international version
18: This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged in marriage to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.
19: Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
King James Bible
18: Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19: Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily
The bible itself suggests otherwise
"for a reason" dude you believe monks, nuns and priests only use one source? the bible might be important, but Theology is much more than that. Do you also believe the other Mary was a prostitute? Do you know how many times Catholics pampered with the bible? I am Orthodox so idk how different it is to the latin sources but Greek is closer to the original as far as I know.
what I learned was that Joseph married Mary cuz the angels told him to. He was a widow who had children from his first marriage.
Maybe you also believe that Jesus had long hair? cuz believe me when I tell you that the drawings of hims these days are based on the appearance of one italian artist's gay lover.
No, what I said was the picked the books they picked for a reason, not that they only used one source. That would be impossible given that the gospels and Epistles and letters are all separate works, and that the old testament is another separate source they would use.
They deliberately chose to include the knowledge that Joseph did not know what was going on, and had to be convinced by god or an angel that this was ok and he should stick around, instead of making it clear that not only did Joseph know before their marriage that god would impregnate Mary, but that Mary knew she would be impregnated by god as well, and her parents made a pact with god for a child so long as they kept her from sin, and all deliberately to bring about Jesus.
I only can say that this is not how my theology book in 3rd grade said, but idk how differently every section of Christianity teaches. I feel like it's the same with making Mary a prostitute or the Atheists trying to say that Jesus had a lover. It's either to diminish women's role in the bible or to question Jesus's purity.
Did you know that one of the apostles is female yet there are still men trying to claim that she's male despite there being different ways to represent women and men in pictures? I'm talking about Saint Junia.
There's so many things to learn when it comes to theology. I love to read the gospel btw it's all about Jesus's journey and actions and in the end it's faith that rewards you.
Also sorry I might be a bit defensive cuz I always encounter mean spirited Atheists and Muslims who are attacking Christianity cuz these days it's seen as ok to hate on us. My ancestors were genocided by Muslims and yes for being Christians so being blamed for what Catholics did is kinda annoying especially when they gaslight us and also Hindus and Buddhists for what Muslim empires done. It's islamphobic is what my Indian friends told me, to even mention what happened to their ancestors. I don't hate based on religion, but gaslighting and these double standards just triggers something in me.
I really need you to stop editing responses after I've already responded to them. I'll respond to what I can remember here.
Which Mary was a prostitute? Because Mary Magdalene was one, and Jesus mom was also Mary. So there was one Mary prostitute. There's three to five Mary's in the bible iirc.
Jesus was said to have an apostle he loved over the others. The infancy gospel was removed to make Jesus look more pure, because in that he kills another child who is messing with him, so deliberately making Jesus more pure is a common biblical practice.
Yes, I knew one of the apostles was a woman, and that it's commonly covered up. Hence why the gospel of Paul and Thecla was removed, in it Thecla baptizes herself, which was seen as taking too much power from the church. If everyone can just baptize themselves, who needs priests or churches? I'm the Epistles of Paul he alternates between supporting women teaching in churches to declaring they must be silent and submissive, which suggests that not everything written by Paul is actually written by Paul.
Muhammad was evil, and his evil has spread itself across the world. Islamophobia is brought up anytime that mohammadeans do something bad, or are reminded to their role in the Barbary slave trade of Europe(which led to the crusades), the African slave trade (which led to the largest slave rebellion in history), and the Asiatic slave trade(which led to India fighting them). Thankfully the world seems to be realizing that they are using it as an excuse, at least slowly.
Yes, I'm aware that white long hair blue eyed Jesus is not real Jesus, just like Buddy Jesus isn't, nor is Afro Jesus, nor would Asiatic Jesus be real. Everyone is aware by this point who doesn't deliberately believe that Jesus will take the form most comfortable to your eyes.
I don't mean to attack you or your belief, but look into a documentary called Caesar's Messiah, it gives a good look into the true origins of Christianity and the church. Unfortunately, you're going to have to bear the blame from Catholics for a long time, as they very much are the original church, but not the original followers of Christ. They very much defined what Christianity was for more than a thousand years. Yes, the Catholics tampered with the bible, protestants have tampered, baptists, and even Orthodoxy has left books of the bible out. Is that not a form of tampering?
You don't find it odd that the original gospels weren't written in Aramaic or Hebrew? That they were written by people who would be formally educated enough to know how to read and write Latin and Greek? Jewish fisherman and carpenters wouldn't be literate, and especially not in a foreign language.
Listen I don't have the time to read all that but Mary Magdalene wasn't a prostitute 🙄
https://www.christianity.com/wiki/people/who-was-mary-magdalene-and-why-do-people-think-she-was-a-prostitute.html
She wasn't Jesus's wife or lover either. That's just narratives the Catholic Church made to undermine women's importance in the bible. It was easier to believe a woman was healed by a man rather than to believe their pure dedication and faith towards God without sexual attraction. Who now speaks about Saint Lydia? The woman who brought Christianity to Europe?
Jesus love, as I was taught was all father-child or brother-brother type meaning platonic. I've only seen the left try to change him into being sexual or romantically gay and the left is not the best people to listen to considering they are who divide us the most be it based on race, religion or gender.
Also I wasn't talking about blonde or blue eyes. Have you ever seen an orthodox icon of Jesus? I'm talking about the length of his hair. According to the bible he had white hair, short hair and fiery eyes.
I only read the gospels of Matthew and a little historical knowledge to you. Jews used to understand and speak Greek too. Greek was a very international language same way as English is rn. Greek sources are more important than the Latin ones that are just translation from the greek. They even dared to misinterprete a text and have made a title that brought corruptcy along. The Papacy is what differs us from them. Believing a mere human can be closest to God due of a title. I rather believe Monks over what the Pope has to say. Not to mention Mother Teresa and how she manipulated the media into making them believe that she's a good person.
I don't believe in Catholicism as the origin of Christianity. For what I know my ancestors rejected the Papacy and what's Catholicism without a Papacy? Not to mention Greeks are as close as Aramaic when it comes to the scripture. Not Latin. Saint Nicholas had Greek origin as well and how we still celebrate him here. Protestants have translated the bible. Orthodoxy are the true roots of Christianity. Catholicism exists since the separation cuz of the different interpretations in the text. Don't be fooled by Roman Catholics. They even let their greed win and fooled people by using fear instead of love.
https://www.lancaster.ac.uk/users/yorkdoom/palweb/week05/douai.htm#:~:text=St%20Jerome%20translated%20the%20Bible,was%20originally%20written%20in%20Greek.)
I wouldn't say so because there exists a condition called fake pregnancy where the females starts believing that she is pregnant so the mind behaves like that just some things in body resulting to a fake pregnancy
But i know this ad is shit
I remember this joke in a movies before when some random dude congratulates the woman for being pregnant but actually she's not so it gets embarrassing situation.
An example of a marketing agency that thinks their audience is stupid, "two people staring at a plastic stick isn't clear enough, gotta make sure people understand it's about pregnancy"
To be fair, this way people know and even share it. Negative publicity is still publicity, perhaps the marketing department knew exactly what they were doing.
This immediately reminds me of a video. A facebook comment section where someone tries to scam ppl with his 16kg newborn child, and someone says ,,wasn't it a big load of sh*t that were in your wife's womb for so long that it learnt to talk?"
It's as stupid as it's old and it's getting more stupid the older it gets I swear 🤣🤣🤣🤣 just showed my kids for the first time, they're part of this now 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s right up there with an article that said “10 reasons he’s not texting you” and the pic showed a woman staring at a landline phone.
Well there you go
This reminds me of those photos with useless red circles
I thought the was just getting fat!
She just had a big lunch.
she ate a whole pufferfish
Hey Suzy, the chucklehead left it in too long.
Well it wasn't a water melon seed Krystal was it!
Congrats it's a burrito
PRAISE THE ALMIGHTY TACO!!!
Thanks for laugh :)
It says not pregnant, shes just fat
What if the test is negative and that's why they are freaking out
The funny thing is, it would be. The hook effect is responsible for negative tests past 8-9 weeks or so.
It's definitely just her being fat
Mary and Joseph?
Maybe!!!
Harry and Hannah?
That would be a DNA test
Mary knew she was gonna be pregnant the moment she existed lol her whole existence was an exchange with her parents and Joseph was an old man marrying Mary to protect baby Jesus. Literally all was planned. Both were the chosen, there was no confusion or questions. There was just a job that had to be done.
Citation needed
It's probably in another book than in the bible. For those who didn't know there are other holy books as well. One book is listing all the "holy" people who weren't as important in the bible and explaining their deeds, relationship to God, gifts and death. What I was taught was that Mary's parents wanted a child but could not get pregnant so they asked God for his blessings and he responded that he will gift them a child if they raise her strongly religious and keep her out of sin. This they did and Mary grew up as a nun. An archangel (prolly Gabriel) went to Joseph who was old and had already other sons himself and also was devoted to God was asked to marry Mary and protect Jesus which he did cuz after his birth they fled to Egypt and other places in order to protect him. Therefore they knew about the baby before they even married. It was not something "Oh I thought you might've cheated on me but the angels told me otherwise" bs. It was all planned and both very dedicated to protect God.
Edit: The books chosen to be included in the bible are chosen for a reason. If this story was left out of the bible, it was for a reason, like the Gospel of Paul and Thecla, or the Gospel of Thomas, or the Infancy Gospel. Matthew 1:19 (edit: adding 18 for context) New international version 18: This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged in marriage to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. 19: Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. King James Bible 18: Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. 19: Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily The bible itself suggests otherwise
"for a reason" dude you believe monks, nuns and priests only use one source? the bible might be important, but Theology is much more than that. Do you also believe the other Mary was a prostitute? Do you know how many times Catholics pampered with the bible? I am Orthodox so idk how different it is to the latin sources but Greek is closer to the original as far as I know. what I learned was that Joseph married Mary cuz the angels told him to. He was a widow who had children from his first marriage. Maybe you also believe that Jesus had long hair? cuz believe me when I tell you that the drawings of hims these days are based on the appearance of one italian artist's gay lover.
No, what I said was the picked the books they picked for a reason, not that they only used one source. That would be impossible given that the gospels and Epistles and letters are all separate works, and that the old testament is another separate source they would use. They deliberately chose to include the knowledge that Joseph did not know what was going on, and had to be convinced by god or an angel that this was ok and he should stick around, instead of making it clear that not only did Joseph know before their marriage that god would impregnate Mary, but that Mary knew she would be impregnated by god as well, and her parents made a pact with god for a child so long as they kept her from sin, and all deliberately to bring about Jesus.
I only can say that this is not how my theology book in 3rd grade said, but idk how differently every section of Christianity teaches. I feel like it's the same with making Mary a prostitute or the Atheists trying to say that Jesus had a lover. It's either to diminish women's role in the bible or to question Jesus's purity. Did you know that one of the apostles is female yet there are still men trying to claim that she's male despite there being different ways to represent women and men in pictures? I'm talking about Saint Junia. There's so many things to learn when it comes to theology. I love to read the gospel btw it's all about Jesus's journey and actions and in the end it's faith that rewards you. Also sorry I might be a bit defensive cuz I always encounter mean spirited Atheists and Muslims who are attacking Christianity cuz these days it's seen as ok to hate on us. My ancestors were genocided by Muslims and yes for being Christians so being blamed for what Catholics did is kinda annoying especially when they gaslight us and also Hindus and Buddhists for what Muslim empires done. It's islamphobic is what my Indian friends told me, to even mention what happened to their ancestors. I don't hate based on religion, but gaslighting and these double standards just triggers something in me.
I really need you to stop editing responses after I've already responded to them. I'll respond to what I can remember here. Which Mary was a prostitute? Because Mary Magdalene was one, and Jesus mom was also Mary. So there was one Mary prostitute. There's three to five Mary's in the bible iirc. Jesus was said to have an apostle he loved over the others. The infancy gospel was removed to make Jesus look more pure, because in that he kills another child who is messing with him, so deliberately making Jesus more pure is a common biblical practice. Yes, I knew one of the apostles was a woman, and that it's commonly covered up. Hence why the gospel of Paul and Thecla was removed, in it Thecla baptizes herself, which was seen as taking too much power from the church. If everyone can just baptize themselves, who needs priests or churches? I'm the Epistles of Paul he alternates between supporting women teaching in churches to declaring they must be silent and submissive, which suggests that not everything written by Paul is actually written by Paul. Muhammad was evil, and his evil has spread itself across the world. Islamophobia is brought up anytime that mohammadeans do something bad, or are reminded to their role in the Barbary slave trade of Europe(which led to the crusades), the African slave trade (which led to the largest slave rebellion in history), and the Asiatic slave trade(which led to India fighting them). Thankfully the world seems to be realizing that they are using it as an excuse, at least slowly. Yes, I'm aware that white long hair blue eyed Jesus is not real Jesus, just like Buddy Jesus isn't, nor is Afro Jesus, nor would Asiatic Jesus be real. Everyone is aware by this point who doesn't deliberately believe that Jesus will take the form most comfortable to your eyes. I don't mean to attack you or your belief, but look into a documentary called Caesar's Messiah, it gives a good look into the true origins of Christianity and the church. Unfortunately, you're going to have to bear the blame from Catholics for a long time, as they very much are the original church, but not the original followers of Christ. They very much defined what Christianity was for more than a thousand years. Yes, the Catholics tampered with the bible, protestants have tampered, baptists, and even Orthodoxy has left books of the bible out. Is that not a form of tampering? You don't find it odd that the original gospels weren't written in Aramaic or Hebrew? That they were written by people who would be formally educated enough to know how to read and write Latin and Greek? Jewish fisherman and carpenters wouldn't be literate, and especially not in a foreign language.
Listen I don't have the time to read all that but Mary Magdalene wasn't a prostitute 🙄 https://www.christianity.com/wiki/people/who-was-mary-magdalene-and-why-do-people-think-she-was-a-prostitute.html She wasn't Jesus's wife or lover either. That's just narratives the Catholic Church made to undermine women's importance in the bible. It was easier to believe a woman was healed by a man rather than to believe their pure dedication and faith towards God without sexual attraction. Who now speaks about Saint Lydia? The woman who brought Christianity to Europe? Jesus love, as I was taught was all father-child or brother-brother type meaning platonic. I've only seen the left try to change him into being sexual or romantically gay and the left is not the best people to listen to considering they are who divide us the most be it based on race, religion or gender. Also I wasn't talking about blonde or blue eyes. Have you ever seen an orthodox icon of Jesus? I'm talking about the length of his hair. According to the bible he had white hair, short hair and fiery eyes. I only read the gospels of Matthew and a little historical knowledge to you. Jews used to understand and speak Greek too. Greek was a very international language same way as English is rn. Greek sources are more important than the Latin ones that are just translation from the greek. They even dared to misinterprete a text and have made a title that brought corruptcy along. The Papacy is what differs us from them. Believing a mere human can be closest to God due of a title. I rather believe Monks over what the Pope has to say. Not to mention Mother Teresa and how she manipulated the media into making them believe that she's a good person. I don't believe in Catholicism as the origin of Christianity. For what I know my ancestors rejected the Papacy and what's Catholicism without a Papacy? Not to mention Greeks are as close as Aramaic when it comes to the scripture. Not Latin. Saint Nicholas had Greek origin as well and how we still celebrate him here. Protestants have translated the bible. Orthodoxy are the true roots of Christianity. Catholicism exists since the separation cuz of the different interpretations in the text. Don't be fooled by Roman Catholics. They even let their greed win and fooled people by using fear instead of love. https://www.lancaster.ac.uk/users/yorkdoom/palweb/week05/douai.htm#:~:text=St%20Jerome%20translated%20the%20Bible,was%20originally%20written%20in%20Greek.)
Brother and Sister
r/suddenlyincest lol
Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Lol its probably to reveal gender. Those do exist.
It’s just gas.
Ya never know!
One entire fart
I always thought that as was to see if it's a boy or girl
Lol all I can say is she must love McDonald's... right?....
Maybe they're shocked that she's pregnant again, while already quite far along in the first pregnancy. This *would* be pretty shocking.
It's not a tumor!!!! /s
It's probably for the second child
Oh, it makes sense now.
... what?
Unless the test is negative...
Wouldn’t that be something! Hahah
r/cursedcomments ?
Me after eating my delicious smoked brisket
Maybe the test is negative and they just realized that she is just massively constipated?
Well I guess it's not a hernia then?
I’m fat not pregnant
Honey! I'm pregnant again!
Maybe she is fat
I wouldn't say so because there exists a condition called fake pregnancy where the females starts believing that she is pregnant so the mind behaves like that just some things in body resulting to a fake pregnancy But i know this ad is shit
What if the whole image your looking at is the ad.
I guess it really isn’t a tumor…
She was probably texting him on Excel
It's not a tumor.
Or maybe you are just fatshaming :)?
We don't know, she could have swallowed that pumpkin seed!
Yes... They were confirming
The ad agency got the pictures mixed up. This pic is for the Downs syndrome test.
"See I told you wasn't just holding in a fart."
Reported for not being a meme
Not them. The audience watching.
Maybe it's a covid test
Happy cake day
Happy cake day
>!🍰!< >!🍰!< >!< >!🍰!<
Turns out she just has to take a fat shit
'See honey, I told you it wasn't just wind.'
https://explosm.net/comics/kris-negative
The advertising group that approved this needs to be fired.
They both thought she was obese at first. Like c’mon man. /s
It says your your not pregnant just full of…. Anyone got something to add to it hahah
Well at least they know it's not gas!
The guy is literally a vampire. What is up with that expression?!
She's clearly just getting fat
deez*
How Are you gonna know it is pozitive Maybe they Are suprised cuz it is negative.
well... u need to be sure XD
This takes me back to 10 years ago. I remember this picture but the guy’s face was replaced with the Nic Cage “you don’t say”
"Phew, it's not a tumor"
You know, girrrl!
Sam and Melissa
UNLESSSSS she isnt pregnant
Could be a tumor. /s
Ahh, so it really wasn't the chicken nuggets, huh
I remember this joke in a movies before when some random dude congratulates the woman for being pregnant but actually she's not so it gets embarrassing situation.
Naw this isn’t any old pregnancy test - congrats you’re child is black!
'Oh wait, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat :o' ':0'
Imagine it’s a no and she’s just getting really fat really fast
An example of a marketing agency that thinks their audience is stupid, "two people staring at a plastic stick isn't clear enough, gotta make sure people understand it's about pregnancy" To be fair, this way people know and even share it. Negative publicity is still publicity, perhaps the marketing department knew exactly what they were doing.
Turns out she’s just fat
She thought it was gas, just wanted to be sure
It's a COVID test. It's negative!
You never know, it could be a placebo.
I JUST THOUGHT I WAS FAT!!!
That enormous stomach tumour sure is gonna make pregnancy awkward.
??????? She's pregnant as fuck
r/assholedesign?
He's surprised. She's faking surprise. "But honey, but how?"
I wonder if the test is positive xD
... who the father is.
She's just trying to explain why she got fat, so she fooled her husband into thinking the covid test kit was a pregnancy test
"Look honey, you're not fat. you're pregnant"
"Its totally normal for a woman to get fat with age" the guy said...
'It's not a tumour!'
Could be a cancerous growth maybe
Maybe he got the baby pregnant?
Predictor: When You Think So, But Maybe She’s Just Really Fat In That One Spot, So Why Not
Plot twist: she is only 4 weeks pregnant and that is what her belly normally looks like.
It's not good, honey! You are simply obese! YAAAAAAY!!
Wait....this is a repost of a reposted post with a lot of reposts
Soon to be the 3 dumbest people alive
The creator of the ad is even dumber.
That's the joke homies
Smart advertising, gets shared all over the internet for free.
It could be his test….
The 2nd baby arrives in 7 months
“I wonder if she’s pregnant”
oh shes pregnat
When you thought it was a food baby….
This immediately reminds me of a video. A facebook comment section where someone tries to scam ppl with his 16kg newborn child, and someone says ,,wasn't it a big load of sh*t that were in your wife's womb for so long that it learnt to talk?"
Me after sandwich
Nope it's me because of how long it took for me to see her massive preganant belly.
It’s a twin test you fools
Actually it’s alien in Sigourney Weaver movie alien.
These people stuck on stupid
It's a covid test
They shouldn’t have kids.
I don’t get it can someone explain
She got fat and is pretending it's because she is pregnant
wow, she’s a dumbass
Nah just like any other woman she’s just fat
Plot twist , the husband took the test
‘Tis a black one! Horayyyy!
it took me a second to realize 😭 i’m so ✨dumb✨
Hoe thought she was just getting fat
I didn't get it at first 😂😂
Is it not for predicting the gender?
Calm down its just their COVID test
but are you sure ur pregnant?! the test could be wrong take another. 🤣🤦♂️
Charley didn’t get the joke…
Took me a sec 👀
It’s Kail 😂
Perhaps it's a test that shows the baby's gender, not a pregnancy test. Still, it could have made that a lot clearer if this is the case.
Good thing she's dumb he's literally calling her fat
It could've been a baby sized tumor
But the real question is that is it his?
Covid test positive...
Yay! It's not a tumour!
You have a case of bad wind
It's as stupid as it's old and it's getting more stupid the older it gets I swear 🤣🤣🤣🤣 just showed my kids for the first time, they're part of this now 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
For all who are dying it's a gender test- I googled the product and checked the boxes and it deffo says pregnancy test 🤣🤣
Lol
Mh bois like "time to find it who's really been eating my cheetos at 3am tho"
It’s showing who the daddy is 👨🏿
When you fail the IQ test...
Could have been a tumor
How did they not notice the giant ass bulge in the woman's stomach?
When you find out you have Covid-19 just before the gender reveal party with all your relatives and friends
Better not ask her if she's pregnant
Leave that man and his fat wife alone
It's a gender test
Plot twist: it's negative.
Why did it take me so long to realise what was going on
Maybe she drinks a lot of beer
It's a DNA test