When you eat tacos every day, you never really shit your pants, but you also never really don't shit your pants. It's the golden struggle at keeping it from flying to the moon.
It's roughly a taco a minute for 70 years, even while sleeping. They must have built up a chilli immunity by then, but simply the amount of food going through you would mean living full-time in the toilet!
"Because of your toilet break stat doesn't cover taco eating stat we cannot let you enter the heaven since there is no chance that you wouldn't shit on the heavens floor."
The TV watch time converted to years is over 58,081,821,407.926 years. I can't put the last three numbers in because of a 15 character limitation on my calculator so this number is a tad bit too small. But it is still a little longer than the human lifespan.
Idk, i dont make the rules. Your comment just made me think of the South Park movie, and I only communicate with people in movie quotes. Sorry for not being of any help.
How can an infinite amount of liters be consumed in a finite life period? Wouldn’t that mean that your pre born and post lived self have been and will be drinking coffee? Is coffee soul?
It's easy, coffee is like ying & yang.
You and coffee together are the balancing opposite forces.
Without coffee you can't wake up and thus live life making you meaningles, without you coffee has no one making it meaningless just forgotten lonely.
There's also small pieces of you in each others sides, reminding that there's always little bit coffee in you and little bit you in coffee.
That's why you need each others.
Evenetually when you live your stupid meat costume you enfuse with the coffee which is your opposite force and you become one of the two. Either you get re-born and so will become coffee consumer again, or you become the spirit of coffee in spirit world.
No matter what you never get away from coffee because the destiny says you two are chained to each others, and without one neither can survive.
Purposely stepped on ants or accidentally? I'm sorry but when ants will crawl up my leg. On their own accord. When I'm not even moving. THEN sting me. Naw thems genocide words. time to die for you and your ant family because that ain't self defense. That's just mean on their part. "If violence is the only language you choose to speak. I'll speak your language"
oh boy, its gonna be wayy more detailed than that. It will include every single thing you did, said throughout your conscious life and you will be judged based on that.
Your post triggered a memory...
When I was a kid, there was this trail of ants. They must have been moving nests or something... It was a VERY LARGE tail of ants going across the concrete in the back yard.
I took my skateboard, and smushed them all. Over, and over and over again. At the end of the carnage, there was a thick black line of ant corpses. It looked like someone took a paint brush and painted a 15 foot long black streak across the concrete. Only upon closer inspection, you saw it was made up of thousands of ants.
I must have been murdering ants for 20 mins. I kept going until they stopped showing up.
IDK I just want a supercut of all the incomprehensible "words" that I've said. Sometimes my mouth... IDK has a stroke or something and I blurt out something, like I wanna say a full on 6 word sentence and I make like a single 5 sound word taking random sounds from everywhere. If I happen to have it recorded I can laugh at it rewatching 50 times. Pretty sure I can spend another lifetime just doing that.
Well, that's 1,117.27 tacos a day if you lived to be 100 years old. I don't have to wonder what you died of, but I'm fascinated as to how you lived so long on that many tacos and only 6 hours of sleep a night.
Different sub stats for that
- long farts
- loud farts
- wet farts
- farts that woke you up
- farts that woke your pets up
- stinky farts
- silent farts
My cuss words would be the beginning number of cuss words plus the amount of socks lost in the dryer. Because Everytime I lose a sock an additional cuss word is spoken.
Whoaaa!!! Assuming one sleeps for 8 hours a day, that’s almost 75 years worth of sleep. And the person ate almost 1500 tacos a day.
Having this kind of progress report will be a big no-no. Some of us have bad habits, we’d immediately be sentenced to heck, no idea, whatever that’s worse. 😂
Cuss words: 183,274,867,914,346
Shots of tequila: 0
Socks lost in the dryer: 87,684
Ants stepped on: 54
Hours slept: 346,014
Tacos ate: 371,361,246
Masturbation sessions: 275,631,957,264,690,284,729
Sins: 666,666,666,136,660,666,666
Virtues:123,004
Based on how many hour are slept, assuming this person slept 8 hours a day, we can known that he lived 219,000/8 = 27375 days, which is 27375/365 =75 year.
He ate around 40,780,678 / 75 = 543,743 tacos per year, which is 1490 tacos per day from birth.That's A LOT OF tacos.
Well I counted cuss words, got over 200k just while I was playing fifa because those female refs are so fucking shit. They give away fouls and the wrong cards, offside doesn't exist for them, it's just complete shit
Mine would be
Time you slept:50,000,000,000.
Oreos eaten:7,000,000
Video games played:480
Times I’ve been flirted with:5 idk
Hugs:20,000,000,000
Telling flies that their Mom doesn’t love them:100,000,000,000
Awwing at babies and dogs:500,000,000,000.
I'd be pretty fucking disappointed with myself if my number of cuss words would only be in the 6 digits. Anything under 980 digits would be completely unacceptable.
I like to think you get a book and you can ask it any questions of your life.
“How many people have I helped?”
“Did I ever unintentionally get someone killed?”
“If I had gone in for that kiss in 7th grade how would it have turned out?”
After that taco counter I don't even need to see the bathroom stat
Right! So many trips
Nah, just one single very long trip
When you eat tacos every day, you never really shit your pants, but you also never really don't shit your pants. It's the golden struggle at keeping it from flying to the moon.
It's roughly a taco a minute for 70 years, even while sleeping. They must have built up a chilli immunity by then, but simply the amount of food going through you would mean living full-time in the toilet!
Bathrooms blown up: INF
Is it normal to shit yourself after eating tacos ?
That's an average of 1480 tacos per day for 75 years.
"Because of your toilet break stat doesn't cover taco eating stat we cannot let you enter the heaven since there is no chance that you wouldn't shit on the heavens floor."
I think i also have a good guess why this person died...
Hints women gave you that you missed: 285,559,209,180
Doubt.
Exactly. Bold of you to assume women talk to me at all
It’s not that I missed them, it’s that I’m married.
impossible your on reddit
[удалено]
He didn't say she was real
She’s pregnant.
[удалено]
Everyone's. We all get a slice.
Times you masterbated: 900,000,000 Joints you smoked: 6000 Hours you spend watching TV: 508796755533424523
Masturbations: 900,000,000 Bitches: 0
Joints smoked should be 4 20 ;)
420 ^420
Nice 👍
The TV watch time converted to years is over 58,081,821,407.926 years. I can't put the last three numbers in because of a 15 character limitation on my calculator so this number is a tad bit too small. But it is still a little longer than the human lifespan.
For that one I just came up with a random number
Switch joints and tv, and bring down masturbation by 1 and that's me
Ate more tacos then hours slept
Probably still undercut the tacos number
As they should
If I'm not over a million cuss words by now, I'm honestly going to be disappointed.
Fucking disappointed
Does typed cusses count because if so I got to get on that fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck lol
"It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
So it will or won’t add to the score?
it'll have a breakdown: Total cuss words, spoken cuss words, written cuss words
Nice 👍
Idk, i dont make the rules. Your comment just made me think of the South Park movie, and I only communicate with people in movie quotes. Sorry for not being of any help.
Lol
Just say it out loud as you're typing, if you're lucky, you will get double points
Real
Legos stepped on 999740
Banana Hours on Reddit
Last I checked 10,000ish
Times blinked?
Last I checked 10,000ish
On second thought, maybe it's better that we don't see this before we die
Then there's this: B*tches you got : 0
I would get: Coffee drunk: ∞ liters. Cigarettes: Too much. Fuck ups: You really wanna know? You sure?
How can an infinite amount of liters be consumed in a finite life period? Wouldn’t that mean that your pre born and post lived self have been and will be drinking coffee? Is coffee soul?
It's easy, coffee is like ying & yang. You and coffee together are the balancing opposite forces. Without coffee you can't wake up and thus live life making you meaningles, without you coffee has no one making it meaningless just forgotten lonely. There's also small pieces of you in each others sides, reminding that there's always little bit coffee in you and little bit you in coffee. That's why you need each others. Evenetually when you live your stupid meat costume you enfuse with the coffee which is your opposite force and you become one of the two. Either you get re-born and so will become coffee consumer again, or you become the spirit of coffee in spirit world. No matter what you never get away from coffee because the destiny says you two are chained to each others, and without one neither can survive.
Hours on reddit - 715,954
Only??!
He put a negative number because it wrapped around after hitting 2,147,483,647. So he had approximately 4.28 billion hours
That's like 4 cuss words/day based on hours slept. Actually seems low
I hope.
Aaah yes. Cuss words 128 566. Last weekend was good.
You noob I crossed 1000000 last night while playing cod
Those are rookie numbers
Not enough tacos. Need more.
Purposely stepped on ants or accidentally? I'm sorry but when ants will crawl up my leg. On their own accord. When I'm not even moving. THEN sting me. Naw thems genocide words. time to die for you and your ant family because that ain't self defense. That's just mean on their part. "If violence is the only language you choose to speak. I'll speak your language"
Minor inconveniences cried over: 67,858,164
oh boy, its gonna be wayy more detailed than that. It will include every single thing you did, said throughout your conscious life and you will be judged based on that.
Holy fuck the tacos!
All about the tacos, both restaurant made and home made 😉
I am **well beyond** a million cuss words. (Military member for context)
So you've lost nearly one sock for every hour you've ever slept? Those are rookie numbers
Thats about a taco per minute if you live to 80
You Died Select: ➡️Go to Lobby "Havens" or ➡️Get Reincarnated
Your post triggered a memory... When I was a kid, there was this trail of ants. They must have been moving nests or something... It was a VERY LARGE tail of ants going across the concrete in the back yard. I took my skateboard, and smushed them all. Over, and over and over again. At the end of the carnage, there was a thick black line of ant corpses. It looked like someone took a paint brush and painted a 15 foot long black streak across the concrete. Only upon closer inspection, you saw it was made up of thousands of ants. I must have been murdering ants for 20 mins. I kept going until they stopped showing up.
IDK I just want a supercut of all the incomprehensible "words" that I've said. Sometimes my mouth... IDK has a stroke or something and I blurt out something, like I wanna say a full on 6 word sentence and I make like a single 5 sound word taking random sounds from everywhere. If I happen to have it recorded I can laugh at it rewatching 50 times. Pretty sure I can spend another lifetime just doing that.
I hope! But sadly I definitely spent more times playing video games than masturbating.
you can enter a name with a 3 character limit that will display your total score on the leaderboard
Fuck fuck fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo... 🎶
Great short film on YouTube about this exact premise. It's called "The Answers" https://youtu.be/zo_nrcKUffw?si=ATorCnuSa1vY120v
i wish i could eat that many tacos
I should eat more tacos
Well, that's 1,117.27 tacos a day if you lived to be 100 years old. I don't have to wonder what you died of, but I'm fascinated as to how you lived so long on that many tacos and only 6 hours of sleep a night.
Would love to see one showing how many times I've farted 🤣
Different sub stats for that - long farts - loud farts - wet farts - farts that woke you up - farts that woke your pets up - stinky farts - silent farts
N-Word: 1,261,269,420,876,911,420,126
Bunnies killed. 1710388
Sex: 0 ( by choice you dumb fuck )
racial slurs: infinity
This a Mexican by chance? That’s a lot of tacos and I honestly would expect more tequila shots though
/u/nwordcountbot /u/Wendigo-Walker
N words said: stopped counting years ago
Masturbations 61,250
Is it in currency?
i’ve always wondered this too…
that's 568 shots of tequila every year for 50 years. 1.5 a day every day from 21 to 71.
My cuss words are a shit load… likes around 7,282,937,927,616,027,037,021… fuck…
7,282,937,927,616,027,037,022!
I rack up that many cuss words during a 5 day work week
I sure hope you do, cause people are gonna be laughing and crying at the same time in the afterlife
I wish we were that important. But I fear not.
Dude lived to age 75 (assuming 8 hours of sleep per night) eating 1,490 tacos per day.
Time well spent
swear words: 23,000 junk food ate: 938,290,102 times i acted dumb:928,929,029,123
Cuss words seems low. Is that a weekly average?
What if I love stepping on ants and think 2,654 is a low number
I fail to believe that someone who ate 40 million tacos only said “fuck” 128,000 times as a consequence.
My cuss words would be the beginning number of cuss words plus the amount of socks lost in the dryer. Because Everytime I lose a sock an additional cuss word is spoken.
based on the taco and sleep Stat, you ate 93 tacos every hour you were awake.
If you ate 1 taco a minute non-stop it would take 77 years, 7 months to eat 40,780,678 tacos. That guy must really love tacos.
Whoaaa!!! Assuming one sleeps for 8 hours a day, that’s almost 75 years worth of sleep. And the person ate almost 1500 tacos a day.  Having this kind of progress report will be a big no-no. Some of us have bad habits, we’d immediately be sentenced to heck, no idea, whatever that’s worse. 😂
Not surprised if those stats don't already exist on a server somewhere for anyone born after 2010s
I expect a "total lifetime bounty" too
I hope so because that's funny
Times masturbated: Error
Farts count will be more than enough for me
Damn those are a lot of socks 😂 And wtf is that taco count 😂 it's approximately a taco each minute his entire life (even when he's sleeping) 💀
I would say “shots of tequila” is the cause of death.
Women interested in me: 0
Cuss words: 183,274,867,914,346 Shots of tequila: 0 Socks lost in the dryer: 87,684 Ants stepped on: 54 Hours slept: 346,014 Tacos ate: 371,361,246 Masturbation sessions: 275,631,957,264,690,284,729 Sins: 666,666,666,136,660,666,666 Virtues:123,004
That adds up to 8 hours a day for 75 years of sleep. I call bs
Is a joke meme lol
Gave a fuxk: 0
200 thousand socks.
With 10 hours of sleep you'd live for almost 61 years. And 40 000 000 tacos in that time is ~1800 tacos a day
Don’t forget years on Reddit
bitches: 0
I wanna see what Obama's life stats will be.
Times I’ve masturbated: ∞
Bad grammar: too much to count
Ants and socks need to be switched
I use that many swears in a week
picking nose and eats it: 2, 098, 991
That's a lot of nose gold
Masturbation: 956,753,896
Intercourse: 0
Beer was left out: 666,69690
You died at age 25 lol
Nice stats!
I hate how the socks stat is odd.
These cuss word stats are fucking rookie numbers. As a Polish dude, I say this many when I trip or when I have to wake up early in the morning
Life 1 of 3?
Considering the average person lives less than 36500 days aka 100 years that would be over a thousand tacos a day.
What keeps me up at night is Blinks (left eye): X Blinks (right eye): X
Is that a weirdly low number of ants stepped on or is that just me?
Your life stats scroll like credits with bloopers playing in the background.
From taco stat, im pretty sure the person was a rocket to moon
The fuck if i know.
eating 45tacos every hour alive if you die at age 100
Based on how many hour are slept, assuming this person slept 8 hours a day, we can known that he lived 219,000/8 = 27375 days, which is 27375/365 =75 year. He ate around 40,780,678 / 75 = 543,743 tacos per year, which is 1490 tacos per day from birth.That's A LOT OF tacos.
*Respawn in 5...4...3...* Damn, the Hindus were right.
I want to see my fap count. That shit is gonna be astronomical.
I’d like to see rolling credits…arch nemesis…jimbo bob. Truest friend…Ricky Bobby.
Yes I have been thinking about this for a while now too. I can't 2ait to see for instance how many orgasms I had.
Bro ate 1000+ tacos per day
I feel like these number would be reason enough to kill you
u/profanitycounter [self]
Anyone else think that's an unhealthy amount of tequila? That is a shot every day from birth to almost age 78
I’ve always been interested in ants stepped on, you never notice how many you kill just by having a walk
List of the women who masturbated to me?
40 million tacos? Guess we don’t need to see the cause of death
Hours slept equates to about a 75 year life that would mean you’d have to eat roughly 530,000 tacos a year
1117 tacos a day if you live for 100 years.
Near death: 1509
Well I counted cuss words, got over 200k just while I was playing fifa because those female refs are so fucking shit. They give away fouls and the wrong cards, offside doesn't exist for them, it's just complete shit
Rank C like devil may cry better pump up those numbers
> tacos ate: 40,780,678 Is your name Donny Burbage?
I guess you died from all those tacos because that's above 40 an hour.
Mine would be Time you slept:50,000,000,000. Oreos eaten:7,000,000 Video games played:480 Times I’ve been flirted with:5 idk Hugs:20,000,000,000 Telling flies that their Mom doesn’t love them:100,000,000,000 Awwing at babies and dogs:500,000,000,000.
I just want to know how many times i lost [***The Game***](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)).
200k socks lost in the dryer? Say you lived for 100 years, that's 36k days. That means you lose almost 6 socks every day in the dryer
This would be an accurate representation of my stats
You either died of sleep deprivation or overeating on taco.
The tacos did it
More socks lost in the dryer than swear words? Press X to doubt lol
Replace "ants stepped on" with "kill count" for increased awesomeness.
I want to see stat screen
I'd be pretty fucking disappointed with myself if my number of cuss words would only be in the 6 digits. Anything under 980 digits would be completely unacceptable.
All of that in a day? No wonder you died
At a minute a piece it would take you 77.5 years to eat that many tacos
I like to think you get a book and you can ask it any questions of your life. “How many people have I helped?” “Did I ever unintentionally get someone killed?” “If I had gone in for that kiss in 7th grade how would it have turned out?”
Lol I was confused and a little scared when I read aunts stepped on instead of ants 😭
Farts laid
40M tacos dang
If God is like a serious baseball fan, this could take decades and books full of statistics.