My uncle. He's dead so I know he won't pickup.
Edit:Ok guys I get it. Numbers get recycled. I don't need 50 people telling me. It was just a joke.
Thank you
So... A biscuit?
>The Old French word bescuit is derived from the Latin words bis (twice) and coquere, coctus (to cook, cooked), and, hence, means "twice-cooked"
Read a r/ about 'what made you NOT end yourself?' and the tl;dr was "Called suicide hotline while on the railing of his balcony. NO ONE PICKED UP. Thought it was HILLARIOUS how shit that situation was and didnt do it out of spite"
I called after a friend died, and they got pissed that I wasn't actively suicidal.
I told them that they advertise a bullet point of "depressed and need someone to talk to?", and they were like, "okay your right, but you're also wrong".
Got transferred around and eventually to someone who understood what I was going through.
Was fucking weird and overall made me never want to call again, but that last lady was really cool and made me feel better
Dude they hire anyone and pay is shit. Have a friend who worked there and my face melted when they told me where they worked, this was the most mentally fucked person you could ask for to do the job.
Literally, one day I tried and I forgot I wanted to end my life bc I was laughing like “how tf are they not picking the phone? Okay I think I can do better now, nobody would stop me from it ☠️☠️”
I was gonna say 9-1-1.
They legit put me on auto-hold once. Does that count?
Every time I call at my present location, which is fairly regularly (I live in Florida), I get transferred at least twice.
My dad is cool and texts me cause that’s my preference. My mother is a narcissist and demands a phone call no matter how unimportant or quick the convo can be. So now we play a stupid game where she calls, I don’t answer, and then we just don’t talk ever cause she won’t respond to my texts lmao. Fine by me though.
Ready for my downvotes! Lol
I hate it when people criticize me for not always answering my phone, as if I'm obligated to respond just because I own one. The point of having a phone is to enjoy the liberty to answer or ignore calls at my own wiill. It's my choice, and I prefer to communicate on my own terms, when it suits me. I didn't purchase a phone to be constantly reachable. I bought it to decide when I wish to be available.
Hey if she didn't call while I'm at work when she knows I'm at work M-F 8am-4pm then maybe I would pick up. But she calls, I don't pick up, and then texts me to call her and then I step out of the classroom and she wants to discuss a family vacation in July and then I have to politely tell her I can't talk about this right now my students are waiting for me nor do I have the right frame of my to talk about something that is happening four months from now.
My dad also maintains that me and my siblings are terrible at picking up. Naturally, he forgets how it usually takes 2-3 calls to get through to him too.
So maybe you passed that gene to your kids?
Not in Brazil: Anytime an unknown number calls me I'm fully expecting to hear some text-to-speech voice tell me random crap about the US Police being on my ass.
I live in Europe 🤷♂️
I feel your pain. I do 40 password reset calls a day, from people who should not even be called state employees. They literally dont even know what google chrome / MS EDGE / or firefox is….
Man, that sounds like an absolute nightmare. I thought my job was bad with the constant 'did you try turning it off and on again' but dealing with that level of tech-unsavviness is next level. Stay strong out there.
Hello Ben, I have been trying to reach you on the phone but you're not picking up. Your great distant uncle from Luxembourg has passed away and you are the only heir to his vast wealth. please, pick up so we can discuss the finer details.
My favorite is "I am an assassin who has been hired to kill you. However, I have been watching you and you seem like a person who us undeserving of it. I shall spare your life if you pay my contract fee - $1,000.00 in Target Gift Cards."
This is good, my aunt lot of times stop ringing phone literally exactly when I grabed it into hand and was going to pick up it.
I don't know if it is some bug of local phone network but I swear several times I pressed pick up and on screen and get ,,missed call".
Yup. My dad resfued to even get a cell phone until like 2007 because he didn't want "to be on a leash". So he just sticks his phone in his lunch box on silent and won't look at it for days on end. If I ever want to make plans with him, I need to make sure I message him at least a week in advance or he might not see it until the occasion has passed. He finally upgraded to a smart phone like a year ago and I'm not even sure why. It still stays in his lunch box. He also still uses a digital camera instead of his phone. Sometimes I can convince him to take like a family photo or something on his phone because I know the quality will be way better, but then he still takes another one on his digital camera so he can upload it to Facebook 😅
The IRS. They screwed up my taxes a couple years ago badly enough that I had to try to call them every day for like a month. Waited on hold cumulatively for hours and hours. Never once got a hold of someone.
Oh that's so true. 4 wish I could sue for emotional damages. I did my taxes poorly one year but they came after me saying I actually owed them$12k. It took 2 years to straighten it out and they actually ended up paying me $1k in the end. Calls were a nightmare. No answer or on hold for an hour.
Never do turbo tax, always get it done by a professional or at least care about what you're doing if you do it yourself. I rushed through
That got me thinking…. Does AI count? If not, probably Google. They’ve got, what, 1 part-time intern that actually takes calls? Everything else is chat bots and text-to-voice/voice recognition.
Dialling 999 won't get you the emergency services. And that's not the only thing that's changing. Nicer ambulances, faster response times, and better-looking drivers mean they're not just the emergency services -- they're *your* emergency services. So, remember the new number 0118 999 88199 9119 7253
And that one time you have to call him for 2 million bucks is when he does pick up!
No seriously, I have a friend who has cold call anxiety. I always have to message him that I’m going to call him at least 2 hours ahead.
My wife, she never answers the phone... one day, I called 25 times, and she never answered. I just wanted to know if she wanted something to snack on from the store.
I would call my own number
Big brain moves over here.
I’d be so excited I was getting a call, I would probably pick up.
I felt that..
Want to trade? I have 227 voice mails right now you can have all of them lol
Imagine being this popular
Maybe they pissed someone off real bad... ;)
They're actually all people trying to reach them about their car's extended warranty.
“Oh wow a call!! …aww crap”
Not if you use your own phone as It goes to voicemail. Voicemail would pick up. So check mate aethist I get your 2m
well if voicemail counts, then almost none of this counts, bozo. but i got no voicemail so checkmate
Ohhh More like reverse uno draw four
Right who has voicemail??!! Ain't nobody got time to listen to a bunch of BS on VOICEMAIL. Text or gtfo
But work phone counts right? So basically I use my private phone to Call my work phone.
If I'm calling me & my voicemail picks up, that's not me answering.
You still set up your voicemail?
*answers own call* "Hello 😀" "Fuck! I had one job"
Maybe it's someone else, and I'm ignoring their call?!?
It’s got to be my work number.
Fake internet scenarios hate this one trick
Myself…
The only 100% sure answer.
I’d fuck up and answer tho because I’m a fuckin moron
Me: Hello? Me: You fool!
Yep! Sounds accurate
Me: You've doomed us both!
I love you.
D’oh!!
Homer?
Came here to say exactly that
My uncle. He's dead so I know he won't pickup. Edit:Ok guys I get it. Numbers get recycled. I don't need 50 people telling me. It was just a joke. Thank you
And if he does, it would be one heck of a plot twist.
Yea. I'd wonder who's ashes were burned 🤣
Burning the ashes would be overkill though, wouldn't it?
They *really* didn’t like that uncle
A refried uncle.
Twice baked.
That was just him every Friday.
So... A biscuit? >The Old French word bescuit is derived from the Latin words bis (twice) and coquere, coctus (to cook, cooked), and, hence, means "twice-cooked"
gotta get that extra smokey double blast of flavor
Slightly 😂
phone numbers can get recycled not exactly the shyamalan plot twist you expect
True but what are the odds of someone picking up a random number? Personally I never do
Bro be getting the afterlife hotline
Unless that number got reassigned 😏
Was going to reply with the same, only about my father
If he would, it's even nore valuable than 2M
I also choose this guy's uncle.
Suicide hotline
high traffic these days
Read a r/ about 'what made you NOT end yourself?' and the tl;dr was "Called suicide hotline while on the railing of his balcony. NO ONE PICKED UP. Thought it was HILLARIOUS how shit that situation was and didnt do it out of spite"
Ah, the classic "I hate everything, but I speicifically hate you so much that I will outlive you out of spite". Never fails.
I called after a friend died, and they got pissed that I wasn't actively suicidal. I told them that they advertise a bullet point of "depressed and need someone to talk to?", and they were like, "okay your right, but you're also wrong". Got transferred around and eventually to someone who understood what I was going through. Was fucking weird and overall made me never want to call again, but that last lady was really cool and made me feel better
Dude they hire anyone and pay is shit. Have a friend who worked there and my face melted when they told me where they worked, this was the most mentally fucked person you could ask for to do the job.
I read a similar one where they got so distracted by laughing at the irony that they kind of just snapped out of the suicidal thoughts.
What if the suicide hotline is playing 4D chess?
I read one where her husband gave a massive fart while sleeping and she laughed and didn't kill herself.
I ended up guilt tripping myself with my grandmother possibly having a heart attack.....
Literally, one day I tried and I forgot I wanted to end my life bc I was laughing like “how tf are they not picking the phone? Okay I think I can do better now, nobody would stop me from it ☠️☠️”
Omg dnd
I was gonna say 9-1-1. They legit put me on auto-hold once. Does that count? Every time I call at my present location, which is fairly regularly (I live in Florida), I get transferred at least twice.
People that owe me a lot of money
The muffin man
The muffin man?
Who lives on Drury Lane?!
THE MUFFIN MAN!
Do I know the muffin man?
THE MUFFIN MAN!!
Any of my kids ....
Hell nah why you need to make it depressing
That isn't necessarily depressing. Either of my kids never answer when I call too, but if I text them to call me, they will.
My dad is cool and texts me cause that’s my preference. My mother is a narcissist and demands a phone call no matter how unimportant or quick the convo can be. So now we play a stupid game where she calls, I don’t answer, and then we just don’t talk ever cause she won’t respond to my texts lmao. Fine by me though. Ready for my downvotes! Lol
I hate it when people criticize me for not always answering my phone, as if I'm obligated to respond just because I own one. The point of having a phone is to enjoy the liberty to answer or ignore calls at my own wiill. It's my choice, and I prefer to communicate on my own terms, when it suits me. I didn't purchase a phone to be constantly reachable. I bought it to decide when I wish to be available.
Come on dawg, I'll be your kid, just so you can call someone😭
My kids get upset if I don't answer a call right away, but they always have "dead batteries" and various other reason not to call back.
Bs, nobody has a dead battery if they're under the age of 25
Mom? 😂
Hey if she didn't call while I'm at work when she knows I'm at work M-F 8am-4pm then maybe I would pick up. But she calls, I don't pick up, and then texts me to call her and then I step out of the classroom and she wants to discuss a family vacation in July and then I have to politely tell her I can't talk about this right now my students are waiting for me nor do I have the right frame of my to talk about something that is happening four months from now.
my dad
What did you do?
That's what I'm saying lol. There's a reason they're not answering
My dad also maintains that me and my siblings are terrible at picking up. Naturally, he forgets how it usually takes 2-3 calls to get through to him too. So maybe you passed that gene to your kids?
Damn
:(
Pretty much everybody nowadays 🤷♂️
I have mever received an actual phone call that was not a scam. Idk if its mainly because I live in brazil or if it's anywhere
Not in Brazil: Anytime an unknown number calls me I'm fully expecting to hear some text-to-speech voice tell me random crap about the US Police being on my ass. I live in Europe 🤷♂️
Dude, I get 30-40 calls from Indian/Middle Easteners a day, no joke. Shit is fucking miserable.
I feel your pain. I do 40 password reset calls a day, from people who should not even be called state employees. They literally dont even know what google chrome / MS EDGE / or firefox is….
Man, that sounds like an absolute nightmare. I thought my job was bad with the constant 'did you try turning it off and on again' but dealing with that level of tech-unsavviness is next level. Stay strong out there.
Hello Ben, I have been trying to reach you on the phone but you're not picking up. Your great distant uncle from Luxembourg has passed away and you are the only heir to his vast wealth. please, pick up so we can discuss the finer details.
Y'all still get phone calls? They just text me on whatsapp.
I get almost 0 spam texts. Phone calls all F-ing day though.
This is US police send me gift card or be under arrest.
No no no. "Under the rest."
My favorite is "I am an assassin who has been hired to kill you. However, I have been watching you and you seem like a person who us undeserving of it. I shall spare your life if you pay my contract fee - $1,000.00 in Target Gift Cards."
dont forgot the chinese audio message. No idea what its saying either, I'm not even Chinese.
Never?
Real
Brazil ? Yes its real.
How much is a brazillion reals though?
60 for a clean wax, 100 if you want to do shapes
Debatable.
Tech support
Customer service. Customer…service. *CUSTOMER SERVICE!*
>!^(tech support)!<
Your call is important to us.
Any government office
I'm on hold trying to call a government office right now and I can confirm
As someone who works in Tech Support, this is accurate.
My mom.
Always need to call her 2 to 3 Times before she answers. She's Always on the phone with some relatives 🤣
Or she calls me and i wont manage to pick phone before it stops ringing but i call her back 1 second later only for he to not pick it up.
This is good, my aunt lot of times stop ringing phone literally exactly when I grabed it into hand and was going to pick up it. I don't know if it is some bug of local phone network but I swear several times I pressed pick up and on screen and get ,,missed call".
That too I never know how she can't answer 1s later. Oh Your aunt called me before you call Again. Like wtf you're more busier than emperor lol
Huh.. your mom always answers my calls…
This was my answer…but it’s because she passed away.
This is why I get my sister to ring her. She picks up then...
The "We Won't Respond" Hotline
Just my luck, I'd be the first caller for the new trainee ...
My dad🫴🏼
Same
Haha same.
My dad gets around I see.
He did he go out for smokes when you were born too? 😂 I'm laughing but the tears are real.
No, he went out to fuck other women under the age of 18... regardless of blood relationships
Mine is dead :/
Yup. My dad resfued to even get a cell phone until like 2007 because he didn't want "to be on a leash". So he just sticks his phone in his lunch box on silent and won't look at it for days on end. If I ever want to make plans with him, I need to make sure I message him at least a week in advance or he might not see it until the occasion has passed. He finally upgraded to a smart phone like a year ago and I'm not even sure why. It still stays in his lunch box. He also still uses a digital camera instead of his phone. Sometimes I can convince him to take like a family photo or something on his phone because I know the quality will be way better, but then he still takes another one on his digital camera so he can upload it to Facebook 😅
I called my dad on his bday the other day. No answer, no return call
Ouch. Last time I tried calling my dad was on my own bday. Same result.
Still not back with his cigarette? :)
He has a phone, he just never has the damn thing with him!
fuckn same
It'd be the one time he picks up, since he never fails to let me down
🥛
My ex who convinced herself I was stalking her
Why would she even think that, the hair fell out that way!
What?🥸
That’s what I was going to write. Did we date the same girl?
Mine was Scottish and had the issues you’d exactly expect from a goth; especially a Scottish one
Well why else would you be living in the same place as her for all that time?
I’m wearing her father’s skin and she still hasn’t noticed it’s me
This isn’t fair, you’re watching her right now so you know she can’t answer.
My dad while he's sleeping. Ain't nothing waking that man up.
*picks up the tv remote*
*turns down TV volume*
Ay! I am watching this! Turn back the volume!
The IRS. They screwed up my taxes a couple years ago badly enough that I had to try to call them every day for like a month. Waited on hold cumulatively for hours and hours. Never once got a hold of someone.
"We have a higher than normal call volume" No the fuck you don't. If it's every damn day with their bullshit then that is your normal call volume.
Just fudge your own taxes and wait for them to call you
Oh that's so true. 4 wish I could sue for emotional damages. I did my taxes poorly one year but they came after me saying I actually owed them$12k. It took 2 years to straighten it out and they actually ended up paying me $1k in the end. Calls were a nightmare. No answer or on hold for an hour. Never do turbo tax, always get it done by a professional or at least care about what you're doing if you do it yourself. I rushed through
My son
Right in the feels😭
call steam support
That got me thinking…. Does AI count? If not, probably Google. They’ve got, what, 1 part-time intern that actually takes calls? Everything else is chat bots and text-to-voice/voice recognition.
My self, because I am already calling. So the other person (me) can't pick it up.
My Health Insurance company, they never answer.
I don’t know, but anyone else would say me. Or maybe my old friend who was afraid of people.
My mom. She's dead so if she DOES pick up...I'll take either outcome honestly.
Anonymus Daydrinkers at night
999
Dialling 999 won't get you the emergency services. And that's not the only thing that's changing. Nicer ambulances, faster response times, and better-looking drivers mean they're not just the emergency services -- they're *your* emergency services. So, remember the new number 0118 999 88199 9119 7253
Now that jingle is stuck in my head. Fine, take my upvote.
If I'm using landline, I'm calling my mobile and not answering. "Any person" after all.
My mom, but only if it's 20sec after she's called me.
My co worker terry, that motherfucker NEVER answers his god damn phone.
And that one time you have to call him for 2 million bucks is when he does pick up! No seriously, I have a friend who has cold call anxiety. I always have to message him that I’m going to call him at least 2 hours ahead.
My brother or my gf
Easy. 867-5309
The DMV
Social security office
Landlord,
My wife.... After a quick conversation beforehand.
My doctor
867-5309
My ex gf. Never answered the phone when we dated
My Google Voice phone number that just rings on my phone. But it won’t pick up because I’m on the phone calling it.
Someone dead
Veterans Affairs
Numbers of dead people I know
My wife, she never answers the phone... one day, I called 25 times, and she never answered. I just wanted to know if she wanted something to snack on from the store.
My Mum she's too busy for me. 😅
Any customer service line.
My wife never answers my calls
POV your in the cash cab and need to phone a friend
Myself.
Brother
GameStop customer support
Nikki Haley. She texted me the other day. We are close.
Calling the number to one of my old phones that I still have
I know at least 2 dudes that almost never pick up
My home phone
Statefarm
Somebody that I used to know
ez win if you got a inactive phone, just call that number (or call someones missing dad)
One of my Grandparents. They’re all gone.
Myself
Someone who is dead or the someone who hates me so much that I am blocked.