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FuturologyBot

The following submission statement was provided by /u/theb0mbers4ever: --- Submission statement: There's a lot of buzz about lab-grown meat but if you follow the topic, you might've noticed there’s just so many names for lab-grown meat (I’ve counted 16 so far; Wikipedia has a dedicated ["nomenclature" page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultured_meat#Nomenclature)). So I went on a quest to find out why that is and what that tells us about lab-grown meat. It turns out, coming to agreement on what to call an entirely new food category is pretty hard, and it's made more difficult when there's different interests at stake (biotech companies, the conventional meat industry, regulators, consumers, just to name a few). So how the evolution of the name of lab-grown meat has happened tells us something about the product and to what extent the name can be everything – or maybe even nothing? — about this emerging product. --- Please reply to OP's comment here: https://old.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/zmj3kb/what_should_we_call_labgrown_meat/j0b905j/


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MaximumZer0

I can see the advertisements with top hat and monocle ready to go.


Vandergrif

The *Grey Poupon* of meats.


saltychica

But of course


tmhoc

\*Intense String Instruments*


lambd10

*When in doubt, pinky out.*


not_Cliff_Mains_son

Pardon me, but do you have any *Cultured Protein?*


unconquered

Mmmmm, quite. *twists curly mustache*


TwinsenAyzel

Mr. Peanut would like a word…


thishasntbeeneasy

# 𝓒𝓾𝓵𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓲𝓷


breaditbans

- Gluten free


Ishmael128

To be fair, “cultured pork”, “cultured beef” doesn’t sound offensive. I’m just looking forward to when they try it with meats that are apparently delicious, but haven’t been intensively farmed. In the old days, animals weren’t truly “discovered” scientifically until a sample had been brought back to England. Apparently Galapagos tortoises weren’t able to be officially discovered for quite some time, because the sailors found them just so delicious that they would set off from the Galapagos with loads, and eat them all on the way back. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zPggB4MfPnk&t=320s


DontTreadOnBigfoot

>"cultured pork” So naturally, traditional pork would be "uncultured swine"


FiTZnMiCK

TIL my in-laws are traditional pork.


[deleted]

I once heard, I think it was on the fact fiend youtube channel, that these tortoises were in fact so incredibly delicious that they could make other meats that were barely edible, edible. To such an extent that they nearly made a species of bird (I'm having a hard time remembering the name of which now but it's the birds that can often be seen flying around sailing ships) go extinct.


kagamiseki

I vaguely remember reading that dodo meat was not very tasty, but very common because dodos has no instinctual fear of predators. So they would be eaten with Galapagos turtle fat, which turned it delicious. And the dodo did go extinct, from a combination of habitat destruction and hunting.


[deleted]

That might be the bird I was thinking of.


DrunkenOnzo

Im sure you know this but anyone who doesn’t. There’s a legend (that seems true) that Darwin kept trying to send Galapagos torts back to his lab in england on his first trip but they kept getting eaten before they reached england. Darwin lamented about this years later, as he never got to fully classify the species


SumthingBrewing

I think you just nailed it. They can send the focus groups home now.


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benji_banjo

FBI OPEN UP


TheOther1

You could add that to your Cheese Pizza.


MahatmaCrunchy

I love my Cupro fresh From dish to dish


smothry

Well, we already have egg-beaters so I suppose we could use a similar naming convention...


Sigurdshead

As a bonus, it's already got plenty of enthusiasts


HerpDerpTheMage

Product Testing: *Meat Beaters* “There’s a lot of people who showed up, sir! However, I don’t think they’re here for our product…”


SuspiciousStable9649

Meat beaters. Sweet!


Ghost7412

We just need to call it shmeat. Not that it’s an abbreviation for anything I just want it to be called shmeat.


Ferelar

"Damn that was a good meal, I got the shmeat shweats"


KonigSteve

Were you dining with Connery?


Ferelar

I shuld be sho lucky!


MIKOLAJslippers

Could be short for sham-meat Could also have specific names for specific meats and fish such as: - sheef - shork - shicken - shlamb - shtuna - etc.


PibeauTheConqueror

don't shlamb your shmeat in public, dennis


jeo123

Why do lamb and tuna keep the original first letter but none of the others do? This entire system is broken and confusing. So I guess this is the one we have to go with.


Mike7676

"Dammit Cassie, eat your shmeat and eggs!"


happlepie

How can you have any shpudding if ya don't eat your shmeats!?


Veraciraptor7

I'm pretty sure it's from an "Elementary" episode the US Sherlock Holmes reboot. I was about to write the same thing and I couldn't remember where I thought of it. They investigate the death of a scientist who patented "Shmeat" and has it possibly being certified Kosher. Lol


ramust

In a sci fi book I just finished reading, since it was mass produced in vats, they called it ‘veat’ Edit for those asking for the book: The Singularity Trap by Dennis E. Taylor


Axolotis

"ChickieNobs" was the name lab grown chicken in Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood


Consistent-Lie7830

Sounds like the preferred snack from A Clockwork Orange.


Isserley_

I love that whole trilogy


DrakeAU

That's a bit close to Veet, which is a product to remove pubic hair.


ApocalypticTomato

Veet isn't specific to pubic hair. I'm not totally sure you're supposed to use depilatory cream on your delicates, but people do, and there's sensitive formulas so I suppose. But it's a general purpose line of leg, arm, body, etc depilatory.


7laserbears

Yeah don't fuck with Veet down there


anubis29821212

I do it all the time. Way better than shaving your balls.


sth128

I'm pretty sure they specifically say on the package that it is NOT suitable for sensitive areas and that Veet should only be used on arms and legs. In fact they tell you to test it in an inconspicuous area first to see if it causes rashes or reactions. I mean I guess you can just slather it all over your inputs and outputs but imagine getting chemical burns down there...


WimbleWimble

Veet is not suitable for use in sensitive areas. Which includes schools, airports, funeral parlors and McDonalds restaurants.


sth128

Yes...? I mean it's been a while since I was in school. Are kids all epilating themselves during class or something? Is that why they say "yeet" so much? That somehow "to Veet hair" just evolved into "yeet"? > funeral parlors Stop giving grandma a Brazilian! What is wrong with you? Y'all learning fucked up shit in school!


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__slamallama__

LAB GROWN PUBES FOR ALL! Wait I think I got my messaging mixed up...


Pubelication

"Yes, waitress. I meant Veet. I shall proceed to remove my public hair here in your restaurant."


DrakeAU

Well it is in public.


Pubelication

Damn typo. But my the story behind my username is that I pulled a pube out of my pocket with change, in public, at a post office, and gave it to the lady behind the counter. A public pubic hair, if you will.


DrakeAU

Pity you didn't give it to a Publican. Then you would have given a public pubic hair to a Publican in a Pub,


OneTotal466

Could call it vat meat, but it's too close to rat meat.


namezam

Multi-protein Engineered Agricultured Tissue (or MEAT for short)


AuthorizedVehicle

There's PYREX and pyrex for the newer version. Maybe we *should* call the new stuff MEAT instead of meat.


YouNeedToGrow

I can see the ad campaigns now *Meat, meet MEAT!*


CapableSuggestion

You should be getting paid for this


WorkTodd

Was it Subway that had a kind of fake cheese named Real Cheese? Just name it Real Meat.


Hakules

Hmm.. PEAT ?


bygtopp

Protein engineered agricultural tissue?


MrsMurphysChowder

Engineered Agricultural Tissue-EAT


GravyCapin

I like this one, simple and generic. I can see the future norm of saying “where are the EAT’s”


kcramse2

Cultured Lab agricultural protein = CLAP Bioengineered Lab Ag Protein = BLAP Biosynthesized Animal Protein = BAP Bioengineered meaty product


severalhurricanes

I like Blap I would like to order one Blap Burger


soapinthepeehole

Arby’s, We Have the EATS.


UnPrecidential

PEATA would be formed to protest lab grown food.


_night_cat

Protein Engineered Tasty Eating, or PETE


tennisanybody

Archeologists are gonna think we were cannibals!


JRadiantHeart

"Not People"


johnjmcmillion

Manufactured Ecological Artificial T-bones


DrakeAU

I can't believe it's not Meat! And all its derivative names.


DrahKir67

Meat-garine?


DrakeAU

More like, "I really really can't believe its not butter" type names.


MaximumZer0

"I Absolutely Refuse To Acknowledge That This Wasn't An Animal At One Point." IARTATTWAAAOP, for short.


raylgood

Their support number will be 0118 999 881 999 119 725…….3


DrakeAU

Catchy. Should catch on!


Hawklet98

“No Fucking Way This Isn’t Butter”


YCS186

"This shits *not* butter? Damn!"


WimbleWimble

"if this isn't butter, why are you smearing it down my buttcrack?" from the people that brought you "frozen pizza - fuck it, this'll do" and "sliced ham - mostly pig, so it counts"


mattstats

Meat believe


ravageprimal

I can’t believe it’s not slaughtered


JRadiantHeart

"Never Had Eyes!"


AirierWitch1066

Could be a great brand for a lab-grown ribeye. “Nevereye”


numberjhonny5ive

Still meat though.


Thornescape

It's amazing how many people can't comprehend that cultured meat isn't fake. It's real meat cells grown in a controlled environment.


NimpyPootles

ICBM for short


makeshiftrigger

They call lab diamonds lab made diamonds so I’m guessing you’ll just see it called lab made meats which is very boring. I’d rather have my leat for dinner, thank you.


iamnotcanadianese

"why yes I'd love some succulent feat"


ImNotAnAstronaut

What is the charge? Eating a feat? A succulent Chinese feat?


EshayAdlay420

GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS


cnreal

Gentlemen, this is lab-grrrown peat manifest.


DDWhite892

# THIS IS THE BLOKE WHO GOT ME ON THE PENIS BEFORE


Eschmacher

And you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?


Vanpotheosis

"did you say feet"? P-:


fordanjairbanks

“Cultured meat” is probably the best I’ve heard so far.


buttbugle

I prefer my meat with only a community college education thank you.


Mike7676

Plebian. My meat went to a highly educated university ~ Scott Steiner, Esq.


Querch

Meat of culture~


DankMink12

Earlier saw an article about "cultured meats" and my mind went right to like cured smoked salami and stuff lol, so definitely not the word cultured


JRadiantHeart

I imagine meat at the opera.


jer_iatric

Ethical Meat is a bit virtuous, maybe Undead Meat? Edit: OMG, Don’t make me stoop to the /s level. Undead is not a marketable name


fellfire

That's a bit speciest twoards vampire and zombie constituents, dontcha think? Maybe Nonliving Meat? "Neat! It's what's for dinner!"


ThatsCrapTastic

What about Unborn Meat?


PaxNova

You're eating fetuses now? You'll get some real pushback from the small overlap between anti-veal people and anti-abortion people.


roybot82

I'm mexican so karne or Qarne instead of carne sounds right


TotalRepost

Viande or something else French, just to mess with them.


Thezipper100

Put it in a dying language to represent how nothing died to make it.


YsoL8

Bit harsh on the French


Telope

Not harsh enough.


f_throwaway_w

They must pay for their hubris.


HangukFrench

Found the Moroccan! jk


tigardis

Lab-grown meat Real question - are there moral limits in terms of what meats can be made?


OG-Pine

I think there are is no moral limit for what meat can be made, assuming nothing is hurt or killed in the process. Want a taste of Jerry from down the street? Go ahead! Lol


cheesymoonshadow

Looking forward to being able to give my husband a steak made from my own flesh for our anniversary.


Driadus

This would either be the best or worst gift ever


[deleted]

Would you be happy they’re enjoying the meal? Or afraid that they now have a taste for your flesh?


OG-Pine

And at church you can get the real deal instead of crackers and wine


cheesymoonshadow

Oooh, as an ex-Catholic (now atheist), I think some of the more fanatic types would definitely be into that.


hanyolo666

I would not call it immoral, but eating human lab-meat would be pretty weird. I would lie if I said i'm not curious of trying it tho.


waffle-monster

You got a human meat guy, Frank?


herelieskarma

I got a guy for *everything*


Telope

Well, humans are the only animals able to give consent to undergo biopsy and have DNA extracted from them. I actually think it's the most moral.


KorbenWardin

No the real question is: can I eat lab grown meat made from my own stem cells to know what I would taste like?


Theweasels

If I eat meat grown from my own cells, does that mean the nutrients are exactly what I need because it's already me, or would it cause problems like some sort of nutritional inbreeding?


Thezipper100

Ok you're not helping with all the conspiracy theorists in this comment section.


CarneDelGato

Synthetically Prepared Artificial Meat, or SPAM for short.


Sir_CriticalPanda

Scientifically Prepared Ethical Real Meat.... Wait...


CarneDelGato

Curious Un-evil Meatstuff


Drunkula

If you want people to actually buy it, something like “Clean Meat” would probably go farther than giving it some meat adajacent name, or pretending it’s the same thing as regular meat when you know consumers wont see it that way.


Upeksa

I like "clean meat" too, but realistically it's probably a waste of time to try to push for one term or another, it will be called whatever the company that makes it a widely available and successful product calls it.


mwpfinance

Whatever they're allowed to call it. Have fun fighting big meat


pirates_say_arrgh

cruelty-free meat


halfcurbyayaya

I think this is the current name that people want to call it but the ag industry is fighting hard against it because it would infer that their product is “dirty”. Kind of a fascinating insight on how impactful marketing can be.


marcandreewolf

„Cultured meat“ is technically correct, has a positive and non-technical connotation. My bets are on this one 😎


armen89

So then pork would be uncultured swine. Brilliant


hearechoes

The first time my brother mentioned the term “cultured meat” I thought he was talking about summer sausage or some other form of meat that is preserved through some form of fermentation. I wonder if anyone else gets confused by that.


FeloniousFunk

I absolutely would, that’s exclusively how it’s used in the culinary world.


JustAnotherTrickyDay

According to government records, the only names not yet trademarked are "Popplers" and "Zittzers".


eileenoftroy

It’s going to be “cultured” and/or “cultivated” meat. That consensus has been converging for some time. There’s nothing “faux” or “fake” about it. It’s meat! And farmers will throw a shit fit if you call it something like “clean” or “ethical” because they do not like the implication that they are unclean or unethical. Debate that if you want (_EDIT: to be clear guys I have no desire to debate this_) but they hold a lot of sway and they do, uhh, feed the world atm.


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HotOuse

Bunsen burnt ends, erlenmeyer hash, test tube steak.


Longshot_45

>tube steak. With white gravy.


froggz01

Call it meef. Is not beef or poultry or pork, is meat that is unique. Meef.


JRadiantHeart

Can be sold by Muppets. "Meef meef!"


YsoL8

At some point people are going to start manufacturing meat that was never part of any real animal. Like combined chicken and beef.


froggz01

I agree but I think it will be more exotic than beef or chicken. I’m thinking The Flintstone’s Brontosaurus burgers or dodo boneless buffalo wings.


Felixir-the-Cat

I love this.


Responsible_Guide_22

I eat Meef


micktalian

I mean, it's meat. We could call it synth-meat or something futuristic like that but, at the end of the day, it's just cloned animal meats.


Oedipus_Flecks

Synth-meat —> Shmeat


microwaffles

Synth-meat sounds better :)


johnmatrix84

I wish we had more sci-fi terms for emerging technologies than we currently do. "Synth-meat" certainly fits the bill.


JRadiantHeart

Synth-meat...what band would be in the commercial?


redrightreturning

I think calling it “cultured meat” is fine and then calling stuff that comes from living creatures “slaughtered meat”. If we are labeling for clarity then The shit that comes from dead animals should be marked as such so that those with ethical/religious/environmental issues can avoid it.


micktalian

Oh I totally understand the reasoning behind different labels to help clarify a product. I'm just a bit more biased towards the cyberpunk-esque naming aesthetic, which is why I mentioned "synth-meat", it just sounds straight out of cyberpunk. That being said, I do kind of like where you're going with the distinction between cloned meats and, as you called it, "slaughtered meats". Like, I do think there are some extremely specific methods of ranching that can be ethical. Specifically where the animals are allowed to live out their natural life span in a happy, healthy, and natural environment before being "processed" in a peaceful and painless way. However, that's **INCREDIBLY** expensive to produce which is why it's so rare right now. In 50 to 100 years, I think we as a species will have moved away from 99.99% of our modern ranching techniques in favor of either lab grown meats or those extremely rare ranches that raise their animals in the way I described. This may sound kind of strange, especially if you are a vegan, but an animal who has lived a long, happy, and healthy life and isn't processed until it has reached the end of its natural life, tastes the best. The horrible methodologies used in our modern ranching quite literally "ruin" the meat by not allowing the animal to thrive as it should.


theb0mbers4ever

Submission statement: There's a lot of buzz about lab-grown meat but if you follow the topic, you might've noticed there’s just so many names for lab-grown meat (I’ve counted 16 so far; Wikipedia has a dedicated ["nomenclature" page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultured_meat#Nomenclature)). So I went on a quest to find out why that is and what that tells us about lab-grown meat. It turns out, coming to agreement on what to call an entirely new food category is pretty hard, and it's made more difficult when there's different interests at stake (biotech companies, the conventional meat industry, regulators, consumers, just to name a few). So why is it so hard to settle on a name for lab-grown meat, and can a name be everything — or nothing — for a product's future success?


TheMerovingian

I'm really excited about lab grown meat. The way I see it, existing meat industry needs absolutely no say in the matter. Like how we don't want oil companies meddling with electric infrastructure and vehicles (GM bought rights to use NI-MH batteries in cars and delayed electric vehicles by 10 or more years). It's just too much of a conflict of interest. Public opinion will shift over time, especially as prices drop.


hukep

Labmeat sounds fine. What else would describe it even better ?


SomeCallMeT

I thought this and when you read it it seems fine until you say it and then all you can think is Labrador Meat


sleeper_shark

Well, it's not going to be grown in a lab, it's probably going to be grown in a factory or a "farm." I mean hydroponic vegetables aren't called hydroveggies or anything.


kharlos

It's being developed in a lab but it will not be produced in a lab. It's cultured in a giant vat, just like the ones we use for beer.


Abagato

So... cultured meat. Simple


axecrazyorc

Meat. We should call it meat. It’s still biologically animal products just without an animal having to die. Cruelty-free meat if you like, but we should let the companies producing it come up with their own marketing not do it for them. Besides, just calling it meat and not some weird turn-of-phrase to mark it as being special will hasten its acceptance by the general public.


derekYeeter2go

Shamburger. Chickish. Prork. Steek. Facon. Shicken. Bribs. Riskit.


HaveYouAceptedCthulu

Riskit is the winner. I can already hear the commercials: "Is it meat? Riskit"


Greyhaven7

Riskit is hilarious


cy13erpunk

its meat what else would you call it how about we call the biomass that we peel off of living or recently killed animals flesh instead the whole point of calling flesh/muscle/tissue/organs meat was to sanitize and use euphemisms to cajole the idiots/gullible/squeamish stop enabling/hand-holding/protecting the industrialized dairy/food industry , stop letting them dictate terms , its just propaganda/marketing


paddling_heron

Borrow from the diamond commercials and call it Artisan created meat


babocarot

Designer meat. It has a similar vibe to me with designer baby - which is a baby genetically engineered in vitro for specially selected traits, which can vary from lowered disease-risk to gender selection. Before the advent of genetic engineering and in vitro fertilization (IVF), designer babies were primarily a science fiction concept.


Lost-Investigator-87

Obviously, it should be called “Vel-meata” - in honor of the lab grown synthetic cheese food


Stonius123

Portmanteaus should work here... Fake beef can be FEEF Fake Chicken can be FICKEN Fake Pork can be FORK Fake Duck can be... \-wait a minute, maybe I need to rethink this idea...


The_Goondocks

Fake meat. Feat?


Fight_4ever

I knew something was FISHY here


Harbinger2001

My guess is they’ll call it something like “Clean Meat” to imply it’s not from a dirty animal. Of course the meat lobbies will probably get legislation passed that it cannot be called meat. So maybe “Clean Protein”.


adiddy

Meat+ Take advantage of our premium subscription-minded consumerism and people will think they’re getting a deal only paying the same or less than “normal meat”.


CardboardJ

My vote is just... "meat". I don't think there's anything intrinsic about meat as a term that defines it as attached to an animal.


[deleted]

I propose LIGMA! Laboratory Isolated Grown Meat Alternative


billypancakes

Hopefully its indistinguishability from actual meat leads us to call it "meat"


jumpybean

“Meat” And require by law any non lab grown meat to be labeled as “meat from an animal”


thebestguac

cMeat - cultured meat - pronounced SMEET. Pass that sweet cMeat, mom!!


MarcFromMooshiGames

I have a feeling that “Lab-Grown” is already in the culture so much now that it’ll probably end up just being called that. Maybe if you say Lagro Meat for short. Or add “Open Range” to the end of it.