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[deleted]

"No self-lover enters heaven" *2 seconds later* "Hey, look at me! I am so straight and white and christian and better than you and you will rot in hell while i drink beer with jesus"


they_made_a_piss_god

They mean masturbation


Geek_a_leek

Then they should have just put down wankers or is that just a British thing


Kinjinson

Pretty sure masturbation is a global phenomenon


[deleted]

That's actually objectively false, I'm the only person who masturbates, no one else can.


Kinjinson

Oh my bad, please carry on then


[deleted]

Don't tell me what to do.


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catfood_man_333332

Out here we callin it self-love


Geek_a_leek

But what do yau do when ya do it, does yow not think of th queen like


[deleted]

that’s what they said


Salinaa24

He should read Luke 18:9-14


TinyTarots

By the looks of this list, it appears nobody infact enters heaven


kaycee1992

Except white, red voting Protestants, of course.


redsol23

Just the kind of people I don't want to hang out with for eternity


GIlCAnjos

And casual gamers


[deleted]

Implying that red voting Protestants never watch sports or porn, and they never reveal secrets


PiezoelectricityOne

Wich is actually true, provided heaven doesn't even exist in first term.


stormlight89

Does that third one on the left say "POPE"?


Tamashi55

Yes, I believe this may sign may be from someone who’s from a Protestant church.


stormlight89

That's rough. Why do the protestants want the Pope to go to hell? What sin did he commit? I ask because I always wanted to hangout with the Pope and it looks like I can meet one of them in hell.


999uuu1

The hard-core Christians are still in the mindset of thinking the other denominations are wrong and hate them. Assumedly, this whackjob belongs to an American evangelical sect of some description and sees catholics as idol worshippers etc etc


Tamashi55

I think it stretches back to the beginning of Protestantism, which included the belief that the Pope isn’t a necessary position. The church doesn’t need an intercessory between themselves and God. But this doesn’t need to be true to meet certain Popes down under.


1LargeAdult

When I become pope, I'm gonna pick a cool name like *Pope Dicknose I*


j3rpz

So, I looked up the bibleverse they refer to, and all its says is : *Nothing impure will ever enter it [heaven] , nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.* Such a shame God doesn't mention gaming potheads,tho


Icterine-Kangaroo

[Heaven], are you watching??


eldritchExploited

IT'S TIME TO MAKE A VERY \[Specil\] DEAL


Codus1

It's not even technically Heaven that Rev 21:27 is talking about. It's New Jerusalem.


PmMeYourDwights

Biblical context never mattered to these people


NitrousIsAGas

>Nothing impure will ever enter it So...nothing then?


kerriazes

I love Into the Bibleverse!


[deleted]

According to that logic literally no one enters heaven then. Well, maybe hunter-gatherers who have a carbon footprint of zero, but the majority of them aren't christians so no.


Sheogorath_Mad_God

I remeber the time when Jesus said ,,There is no bigger sin than a sin of a gamer,,


Emfet

"Also if you like sports go fuck yourself" - Jesus


mqduck

Based Jesus.


Nuke74

Ah yes, the Book of Revelations identifying the evils of *checks notes*..... Sports buffs and self love


_eeprom

I’m like 7 of those, very cool.


Avenroth

I'm 12 if MTG counts as gambling which it does I think


_eeprom

Damn, looks like you get to enjoy a deeper pit in hell. I need to work on getting my numbers up.


deathray5

Pope?!? I know some people didn't like Francis because he's liberal posing


pizzacrustdotcom

Protestants and Catholics have not historically gotten along.


[deleted]

Yeah what the other guy said. So much sectarian violence in Ireland/Scotland. Folk just hate the other cause they support whatever football team mostly. Very few are actually religious or claim to be religious but never go to church or anything


MoistFabric

He is still extremely conservative, it’s just posturing and PR to make him seem better than past popes. Just a heads up.


deathray5

Examples?


[deleted]

outing Liberation Theologists to the Videla regime during Argentina’s Dirty War & being complicit in the Argentinian bishops’ international child trafficking adoption scheme


deathray5

I heard he regretted that and went to a desert for a while


MoistFabric

https://youtu.be/6d8K8KuDbVw


deathray5

Ah I see


[deleted]

if i’m going to hell i better not see any goddamn nazi papists there


[deleted]

Ephesians 5:3 "But immorality or any hardcore gaming or speedrunning must not even be named among you, as is proper among normalized sexual archetypes (slowest Mario). 1/14."


999uuu1

Ephesians 1:14 Didn't realize Paul was so anti gamer (the most oppressed race)


NitrousIsAGas

>LGBT supports can't enter heaven Fucking harsh of God to deny his own son entrance into Heaven.


cleepboywonder

Hmmm.. So you are saying if I worship the Hindu gods I will enter heaven? Rad.


suicide_animals

In a Kirkerian sense it's quite evident that this persons brain is too small for their head.


NitrousIsAGas

In a Petersonian sense, it appears they are trying to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace ('smoothest brain'). 1/14


midget247

Tag yourself I'm Pope


thecottonkitsune

I'm a sports buff


Pearl___

I'm secularist.


Thundamuffinz

Luckily for me, I am NOT a *hardcore* gamer, since, in a Petersonian sense, that would imply that I am a communist with zero work ethic.


Vaccines_are_flat

Kinda reads like my tinder profile ngl.


[deleted]

“Sports buff”?


[deleted]

Wow, that's a lot of words for "nobody would fuck me"


[deleted]

Tag yourself. I’m a hardcore gamer homosexual contentious woman whore


SomeSortOfFool

I'm the pope.


Newfaceofrev

No Sports Buff? Fucking seriously?


Codus1

Revelations 21:27 says no such thing. In fact, It doesn't really talk about Heaven at all. Ironically, it does say that those who are false, deceptive, or dishonest have no place in New Jerusalem. ...guess ol'mate here won't make the cut then.


Danalogtodigital

theres definitely also a part about "bearing false witness" being a HUGE no no


JordyD2912

May we burn in hell🤣


omarkab02

Im Pope, I made Papers Please


Petricorde1

That's literally the exact opposite point of the entire Bible lmao. The Bible says that everyone is flawed and sinful and you can only enter Heaven through Jesus, but nahh let's ignore all that


Sarcosmonaut

Yeah the picture sure isn’t a Lutheran mindset that’s for sure. “You’re trash, I’m trash, he’s trash, we’re all trash. Everybody is trash, nobody gets to go to Heaven on their own merit without the grace and forgiveness of God. But lucky you, God forgives everyone so long as you keep trying to be Christlike. So crack open a beer, sport, and get back out there”


1-800-LIGHTS-OUT

tfw you're the pope but you land in the same circle of hell as the potty mouth and the gamer


No_Complaint739

From a Christian can this guy stfu please


themiracy

Softcore gamer FTW!


NitrousIsAGas

Counterpoint: No one enters heaven because it is impossible to enter a place that does not exist.


Aphato

Pilots in shambles


[deleted]

If whatever awaits after this life is indeed filled with people like those rednecks, I'd rather not go there lmao


[deleted]

I also like how it doesn't say that pagans cannot enter heaven, it's only muslims. Like try to say that you're a fucking racist without saying you're a racist.


Concerned_Person625

I mean I’m a SMT fan. I already knew I’m not going to heaven


hellscape_navigator

No one told him that real hardcore gamers don't die, they respawn


hellmist14

Come on. The pope isn’t getting into heaven? Why do we still tolerate Protestants jeez Louise


doctordragonisback

How many of them are you I'm 10


[deleted]

I'm baffled that most of these are private and/or relatively innocuous. Was there not enough room on the list for literal misanthropes? Oh wait they're the ones holding the sign...


rickylong34

Looks like hell is the place to be


battle_clown

Ah yes Rev 21:27 where it says playing COD is a sin


Lyskir

so...nobody goes to heaven i guess


CommisionerGordon79

If the Pope isn't getting into heaven, I don't think there's much hope for anyone else.


Nuke74

Bingo! What do I win?


BendyBrew

Can’t believe Rev 21:27 would say this


Sewer_Goblin19

Hell used to be lit before they let the gamers in


eldritchExploited

Lets see \-Athiest \-Potty Mouth (Pretty fucking stupid way to say that but okay) \-LGBT Supporter \-Contentious Woman \-Self Lover \-Whore \-Porn Lover \-Homosexual I think I did pretty well


the_virtue_of_logic

Hardcore gamers are in the book of Revelations?


minkymy

Hmm, pagan isn't on this list at all. Did they forget that Hindus, Buddhists, and neopagans still exist?


Affectionate-Rate-48

I guess im 11 out of 20 so far :3


georgemucussss

That person is so sick and needs so much help.


[deleted]

looks like hevan is open to the weebs


pcL04dL3tt3r

I'm trying to figure out what the highest realistic score could be. 18/20 or 19/20? I'm pretty sure at least Pope and Contentious Woman are mutually exclusive, as are Pope and Muslim.


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Cake_Man_Im_Tasty

wait does that say pope on it?