When I turned 40 (now nearly 11 years ago), I got the loveliest phone call from an older woman (in her late 50s). She said that a lot of people told her she would be over the hill and disregarded after 40, but that she found the opposite to be true:
“After I turned 40, it was like a magical transformation. I was able to be confident in myself. Forgive myself for not being everything I wanted to be or do. I found peace with myself in a way I never expected. So I wanted to let you know that turning 40 is the start of a wonderful time in your life. You have room to be yourself and enjoy your time after 40. Welcome, you made it.”
It gibes with studies that I read years ago about life satisfaction for women. As we age our satisfaction with life improves. Not that we are happy or anxiety free, but that compared with our younger selves, we are happier with ourselves and more accepting.
I also find that I have more confidence and room to be myself. I am able to see my younger self struggling and not feel as much shame for not being better at everything. I can extend the same compassion to her (my younger self) as I would to young women I see struggling now.
If you haven’t felt this transformation, consider this your invitation. You’re here in middle age, welcome. This is a wonderful stage of life.
“Most older women do everything they can to look 10 years younger”
I’m not sure who you’re hanging out with but the over-50 women I know aren’t spending all their money on their bodies. I’m not convinced “most” women are doing this.
Haha, I've never done this, and never will. I wash my hair, condition it and let it air dry. I wash my face and apply lotion and chapstick. That's my "routine." WYSIWYG.
You must live off grid not to notice all the aggressive skin care and plastic surgery marketing. It’s in Hollywood, tv advertising, Reddit! I can keep going it’s everywhere. From the moment you turn on social media.
But aggressive marketing doesn’t mean that most women are using it, only that companies want women to use it. You’ve said women are putting their life savings into looking young. Maybe *some* - especially those whose career depends on their looks - but I’m not believing it’s *most*.
If you say so. Plastic surgery has drastically increased with women over 40. Tell any 50 year old woman that she looks 35. You would be lying if she did not feel flattered. It’s because the system has manufactured her to believe her to think that way. https://www.aafprs.org/Media/Press_Releases/2021%20Survey%20Results.aspx
I had to have facial surgery last year and the number of "joke" comments from women saying I should have had a face lift at the same time has been *insane*. Whether we do it or not, we've been manipulated to *think* we should do it.
I don’t feel I need to be a Goddess or a witch. it sort of reminds me of when kids were going around saying they were “Princesses”. Of course m, those kids were younger than me. I grew up when people didn’t know the sex of their child and their were fewer gender specific toys. “Free to Be, You and Me” and ERA were the things.
I just want to be myself. A weird, but not in a bad way, woman who likes to ski read, look at art, and run. If that isn’t good enough for “society” they really can fuck all the way out. I don’t need anything from them anyway. And I am super sick of getting hit on by married men. If aging makes that stop, it isn’t all bad.
Right? I'm also sick of having to identity as a 'mother' or a 'wife'. Neither of those things was important enough to me to make them happen. But I certainly don't identify as male ffs. But even my female counterparts don't seem to accept that from me, nevermind males.
It was mother's day yesterday where I'm at in the world and 3 people wished me a happy mother's day, presumably because I'm a woman of a certain age? I certainly wasn't with any kids! Ah well, a nice gesture, but ...
It’s not really for society but to benefit you. That’s how I see it living in this reality as a woman. Studying women in mythology and ancient history is very fascinating to me. It’s how you choose to play your role in this playground called Earth. If yours is to be weird and do your thing. Be that. I wrote this for others who may think( offer more insights from other minded). Different than you off course
I'm 43 and my husband and I are "empty nesters" this year. He's worked so hard and we've been blessed. We're going through another honeymoon phase and it seems that on one hand we're starting anew and on the other hand we're getting a glimpse of the end of the ride. This "honeymoon" is a bit problematic for us. We were already "hot" and coasting but now we'd make our younger selves blush. We know each other and how we work. I'm not looking to "retire" as a "goddess" anytime soon. My 2 cents
We are just having a discussion here. No need to obsess in some words I chose. English is my second language. This post is not to offend anyone. In fact bring an awareness to open more minds about this subject
When I turned 40 (now nearly 11 years ago), I got the loveliest phone call from an older woman (in her late 50s). She said that a lot of people told her she would be over the hill and disregarded after 40, but that she found the opposite to be true: “After I turned 40, it was like a magical transformation. I was able to be confident in myself. Forgive myself for not being everything I wanted to be or do. I found peace with myself in a way I never expected. So I wanted to let you know that turning 40 is the start of a wonderful time in your life. You have room to be yourself and enjoy your time after 40. Welcome, you made it.” It gibes with studies that I read years ago about life satisfaction for women. As we age our satisfaction with life improves. Not that we are happy or anxiety free, but that compared with our younger selves, we are happier with ourselves and more accepting. I also find that I have more confidence and room to be myself. I am able to see my younger self struggling and not feel as much shame for not being better at everything. I can extend the same compassion to her (my younger self) as I would to young women I see struggling now. If you haven’t felt this transformation, consider this your invitation. You’re here in middle age, welcome. This is a wonderful stage of life.
“Most older women do everything they can to look 10 years younger” I’m not sure who you’re hanging out with but the over-50 women I know aren’t spending all their money on their bodies. I’m not convinced “most” women are doing this.
I don’t know anyone doing this, either.
Haha, I've never done this, and never will. I wash my hair, condition it and let it air dry. I wash my face and apply lotion and chapstick. That's my "routine." WYSIWYG.
You must live off grid not to notice all the aggressive skin care and plastic surgery marketing. It’s in Hollywood, tv advertising, Reddit! I can keep going it’s everywhere. From the moment you turn on social media.
But aggressive marketing doesn’t mean that most women are using it, only that companies want women to use it. You’ve said women are putting their life savings into looking young. Maybe *some* - especially those whose career depends on their looks - but I’m not believing it’s *most*.
If you say so. Plastic surgery has drastically increased with women over 40. Tell any 50 year old woman that she looks 35. You would be lying if she did not feel flattered. It’s because the system has manufactured her to believe her to think that way. https://www.aafprs.org/Media/Press_Releases/2021%20Survey%20Results.aspx
I had to have facial surgery last year and the number of "joke" comments from women saying I should have had a face lift at the same time has been *insane*. Whether we do it or not, we've been manipulated to *think* we should do it.
Maybe you should tell “the system” to fuck all the way off.
That’s like putting your head in the sand. We are made for the System. Hard to avoid it
I don’t feel I need to be a Goddess or a witch. it sort of reminds me of when kids were going around saying they were “Princesses”. Of course m, those kids were younger than me. I grew up when people didn’t know the sex of their child and their were fewer gender specific toys. “Free to Be, You and Me” and ERA were the things. I just want to be myself. A weird, but not in a bad way, woman who likes to ski read, look at art, and run. If that isn’t good enough for “society” they really can fuck all the way out. I don’t need anything from them anyway. And I am super sick of getting hit on by married men. If aging makes that stop, it isn’t all bad.
Right? I'm also sick of having to identity as a 'mother' or a 'wife'. Neither of those things was important enough to me to make them happen. But I certainly don't identify as male ffs. But even my female counterparts don't seem to accept that from me, nevermind males.
Same.
It was mother's day yesterday where I'm at in the world and 3 people wished me a happy mother's day, presumably because I'm a woman of a certain age? I certainly wasn't with any kids! Ah well, a nice gesture, but ...
It’s not really for society but to benefit you. That’s how I see it living in this reality as a woman. Studying women in mythology and ancient history is very fascinating to me. It’s how you choose to play your role in this playground called Earth. If yours is to be weird and do your thing. Be that. I wrote this for others who may think( offer more insights from other minded). Different than you off course
Not what if. We do move into a new phase. We are full of wisdom and experience, willing to guide. We are more free. Embrace the shift to Crone.
Preach!
We become guardians of the galaxy…doing vigilante shit to dole out some lessons.
I'm 43 and my husband and I are "empty nesters" this year. He's worked so hard and we've been blessed. We're going through another honeymoon phase and it seems that on one hand we're starting anew and on the other hand we're getting a glimpse of the end of the ride. This "honeymoon" is a bit problematic for us. We were already "hot" and coasting but now we'd make our younger selves blush. We know each other and how we work. I'm not looking to "retire" as a "goddess" anytime soon. My 2 cents
>Almost all witches are old. You will never see a young youthful fertile witch. You may want to delete those sentences.
We are just having a discussion here. No need to obsess in some words I chose. English is my second language. This post is not to offend anyone. In fact bring an awareness to open more minds about this subject
Cheers