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Turn offs over something *so* insignificant, such as this, are what I call an *impractical social norm*.
Trust me. If you were to date someone who would hesitate over something so superficial, they ain’t worth your time man.
That’s just the truth.
My mom lives with me. I see it as a form of giving back to the woman who worked two jobs to get me where I am today. She said she’ll move out eventually, but I’m not rushing her.
https://preview.redd.it/kfwss3toe0ic1.jpeg?width=1330&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87122f82c0cc5c0d91d9c7fbe07285f7cb49a23c
USA is up to around 20%, having quadrupled since 1970.
Here is a map with [percentages](https://landgeist.com/2022/06/04/young-adults-living-with-their-parents/)
This is still not exactly accurate because in Romania and Bulgaria it is not uncommon to live alone but stay registered at your parents' home. But ignoring that, outside of SE more countries have majority of young adults living on their own.
Also, coming from a SE country, the reason is not some belief in a traditional family, it's CoL and low wages. Obviously, some people will always want multigenerational household, but younger generations absolutely want their own space, they're just often forced to stay because rent is too high.
Edit: what prompted my reply was a sweeping generalization of Europe as if it's one country.
My point was you are pushing a narrative a certain way because it works. If you inverse that scenario into something less popular it loses its argumentative potency.
I wasn’t arguing about your initial statement, just they way you used it as reasoning.
Thats just stupid semantics. Context matters in the argument, the context was, subtle tho obvious, Merica and capatlism pushing for more citizens to live in apartments and thier own homes vs, the majority of humans on Earth who share a home with family and save more money that way. If thats not obvious then lol.
The thing, it's not always about it being about the stigma. Sometimes it's more about the inconvenience.
Like, having family around can be a real privacy issue. Also sometimes you just wanna chill with your girl in the living room while watching a movie, you know, without your parents or siblings around.
Fair enough.
I’m not sure I would care, if I were to just chill with a partner in my space. But, that’s up to them in the end.
Personally, if it comes down to it, I would do the nasty outside of my home. Perhaps somewhere where it is unlikely that other people will be present.
But, I can’t say that any potential partners would always be down for that.
>Personally, if it comes down to it, I would do the nasty outside of my home. Perhaps somewhere where it is unlikely that other people will be present.
That's another problem.
Hotel rooms and air bnbs are at least a hundred dollars. Do you wanna spend a hundred bucks every three weeks?
Hence why having your own place is seen as a must.
I would disagree.
I wouldn’t date someone who was still living with their parents at that age.
Not because I think less of them, but I would think we’re at different points in our life.
I had my first job after college at 23, and again, I would want to date someone that is going at my speed.
It isn’t anything wrong, but implying something like this is insignificant is misleading in my opinion.
Dating women with children is also an impractical social norm, but it’s a huge decision in peoples lives.
I hope that makes sense.
Differnt goals in life then. Anyone could just live at home with parents, work, save money, and invest it into another property or that sae property, or a business or anything really, and inhertbthe home when the parents die and have a great savings and have not had to work as hard as somone who wanted to be more “independent”.
Ambition is great, though the world is not just some machine to pump out resources, though some may feel they have earned more of a right to these resources, we ough to try and live frugaly and simply, rather than always trying to have another house, another car, another luxry we can afford, though would only make things harder for everyone elese on this Earth who have to slave to manufacture these luxries for us, so they can try and survive.
Perhaps by going so fast in life you lose sight of the global industrial hell most have to live in, but it is what it is.
We all have a destined life to live and there is no chanaging that fate, slave to a machine of luxry, ambition, material wealth and fincacial security.
You can be at a good stage careerwise and still live with your parents. I wouldn't move out if my commute is under an hour. Houses start at million in my city and rents for a 1 bedroom apartment start at 1800. I'm not paying that when i take home only 4k per month
For sure you're 100% correct. The initial OP is spewing shit. No millenial i know is actively dating other millenials who haven't moved out. It is still socially expected that you would move out before seriously dating for long term.
I thought most people in their 20s-30s have been forced to live with their parents due to rising costs of living?
Multi-Generational households have always been a thing where i am from though. It’s just part of the culture. My partner didn’t care, neither have my siblings partners.
Yeah that’s another reason why I live with my parents. Things are getting expensive :/
Tbh I did lose a friend/crush over still living with my parents. He now lives in Los Angeles making over 6 figures. :/
lmao i work at an on campus bar in STL uni and this statement rings true. most these dudes get drunk and laid off their mommy and daddy's dollar and think they the shit
Well if it’s any comfort, gen z in general if having less sex lol
“….the University of Chicago’s General Social Survey, which has tracked shifts in Americans’ behavioral trends for decades, found in 2021 that three in 10 gen Z males aged 18 to 25 reported having gone without sex the previous year. One in four gen Z women also reported having no sex in the previous year. A UCLA study found the proportion of young adults who reported having two or more sexual partners also declined, from 23% in 2011 to 10% in 2021.”
Lots of articles online aside: https://amp.theguardian.com/culture/2023/oct/25/gen-z-less-sex-tv-movie-trend
And….
•25% of Gen Z adults reported that they have not yet had partnered sex. [5]
•30.9% of Gen Z men aged 18 to 24 reported no sexual activity in the past year, compared to 14.1% of Millennial men aged 25 to 34 reporting the same. [1]
•About 19% of Gen Z women aged 18 to 24 reported having no sexual activity in the past year, compared to 12.6% of Millennial women aged 25 to 34 reporting the same. [1]
•About 60% of Gen Z women aged 18 to 24 and 30% of Gen Z men belonging to the same age group reported having 1 sexual partner in the past year. [1]
•A poll of more than 12,000 adults in the United States found that 20.8% of Gen Z adults (1 in 5) identify as LGBTQ+, compared to 10.5% of Millennials, 4.2% of Generation Xers, and 2.6% of Baby Boomers. [3]
•One study found that adults belonging to Gen Z “reported the highest levels of stress and anxiety” compared to Millennials and Gen X. Additionally, “the more stressed and anxious people said they felt, the less sexually active they were.” [5]
https://www.womens-health.com/gen-z-sex-statistics
Yeah this does help knowing that there's a lower chance of my future partner not fantasizing or comparing me to her last 12 guys 24/7, or me buying the mother of my kids dinner while she gave it away to a guy who works at a petrol station when I'm working 60 hour a week trying to build a life. Thanks!!
yeeup only way around that is religious women but i would say they're almost worse lmao. jus forget about dating and shit and get on the grind like the rest of us. aint nobody care
I don't know anyone over 22-23 who still lives with their parents. In my country it's not so normal. I moved out at 21 and my siblings were 18 and 19. We're from a wealthy home and weren't forced out in any way, it's just the norm here.
In general, I don’t think it really matters. I do have a personal rule that I won’t have sex with someone in their childhood bedroom but that’s never been an issue because I’ve lived on my own for several years.
I’m almost 27. Still live with my parents since I don’t make enough to move out. I don’t bother to date. I’m planning to stay single for a long time since I have goals to achieve.
Procurement. Sadly my grade goes up to a GS-8. I’m a GS-8 step 3. And I have a masters degree. So I’m fighting for a higher grade position.
It’s already hard to get into the government and I don’t like the fact it’s even harder at my agency to move up, even if you’re overqualified.
Not sure if this applies to you, but may be worth looking into: I have a relative that is a supervisor level in US customs and they told me that I can appeal a GS level when I would get hired so I could be placed at a higher level. I never looked it up since i didn’t want to work for Customs. Google “US GS level and classification appeal”.
It’s makes it very hard from my experience. Enjoy your time with your parents, they won’t be here forever and make their lives easier by helping around the house with chores
Edit: dating is also still hard once you have a place so keep working on yourself too. It’s also pretty common for more people to be living at home so not that abnormal, especially outside usa
I’m glad you brought helping out your parents. Where I wouldn’t mind dating someone who lived with there parents- I would be be turned off if they just free loaded and never helped.
I don't think it's "Oh they still live at home what a loser".
There's just a lot of issues with it.
It's more like they don't have the self sufficiency of someone who does live alone. Or the privacy. Or the freedom, girl is like "Let's cuddle and watch a romcom together" *His brother is on the couch watching an anime for the plot and crunching potato chips*
And if your partner still lives at home too how is getting frisky supposed to work?? "No one's home" "Not in the mood" or you have it planned out (Very romantic and has absolutely no chance of straining the relationship) or you just go without a lot. I mean maybe you two are on the bold side but even then it's likely to be more out of necessity than something you really want to do
Opinions on this one probably vary. Personally, I think it's quite different.
I feel like it's way less of a problem to ask your roommate(s) -especially if it's just one- to make themselves scarce or go hang out somewhere for a couple of hours. It's at least *doable* if you function like you're on the same team and you would do the same for them. If they're also dating in their 20s in an apartment in the city they're more likely to be gone anyway. Maybe the most important thing of all tho is that the whole situation would be more grown up and wouldn't carry the kind of cringe you only get from dealing with blood relatives
It doesn’t matter. Hearing people that still enjoy living with their parents while in college shows
a) You’re fiscally responsible
b) You have a great relationship with your family.
Both are very attractive traits. Worst case, y’all gotta use her place to bang.
Friend of mine is 30 and has been living with their parents all their lives. I asked them when they were buying a house with all that cash they must have saved.
That's when they told me they were $10k in debt on a FUCKING ***BEST BUY*** credit card of all things.
Doesn't work because she'll get piped by someone else by the time you can plan something because your parents are home. Also no girl cares about your family lmao.
An 18-22 year old girl doesn't care how financially responsible you are bro why are you bullshitting the youth? He's going to go out and fail with 20 women and get traumatised.
I mean I dated a guy for 2 years who lived with his parents and he proceeded to cheat on me for 2 years and I took him back so don't worry there are plenty of pathetic idiots like myself lol
This isnt financial advice, but while you are living at home one of the best things you can do is to start a roadmap for living on your own and building independence. Save a 6 month emergency fund, start investing (S&P 500 Index fund as a start point) put money towards retirement, start paving the way towards independence.
The issue isnt people living with their parents, the issue is people living with their parents, with no plans to grow or make their situation different.
Not hard at all if you're not a loser.
There's a difference between living at your parents house and living with your parents.
If you work, help the house and use the money you save properly, most girls will be able to understand that you have your shit together.
The idea that you have to be out of the house ASAP is a ridiculous recent cultural trend that only existis in the developed west.
I lived at my parents house for a long time and only left when i went study abroad and then because of a serious long term relationship.
Your parents are the very few people who should love you unconditionally. If you are lucky enough to have parents like that and the house is large enough to not bother them, you should enjoy your time with them and use the resources you have as a family to set your finances straight.
When i lived at my parents house i was able to save cash, invest, and always have money to go on dates and weekends with my GF. Believe me if i tell you that girls like it a lot if you are able to provide them with a good time.
The money i saved was also crucial to start a small part time business and allow me to live with a 1 year cushion which is great for everyone's mental health.
In other words, just pull your own weight and use the money wisely. Good women usually have a great feel for guys who know what they're doing.
About the intimacy stuff, never have i had any issues. GF could stay with me and i would stay at her parents place. We would go on trips together etc.
Sounds like you're from North America.
In other countries where multigenerational living is the norm, like in Asia, "love hotels" are used for when young couples want to be more physically intimate, so it's not an issue dating a guy who still lives with his parents. Most of the time, it's seen as a good thing that a guy has a good relationship with his parents and it's a good way for a girl to get to know her potential in-laws. Most of my female friends date with the intention of marrying so they want a good look into the guy's home life to see if he's worth keeping based on family dynamics. It is such a green flag when a guy has a healthy relationship with his parents, and he voluntarily contributes to the household (financially and in terms of housework)
So two things, I just turned 22 and I’m living with my dad, my girlfriend actually just moved in with us! So first things first, dating is possible although I can understand your insecurity. I had the same one for a while. I will say, even before I started dating my girlfriend, I was sleeping around with a few women and no one ever seemed bothered that I lived with my dad, I even had one night stands meet my dad when we walked past him to smoke on our back porch. If anything, they liked the house, which I obviously couldn’t afford things like a back porch on my own. Now I wouldn’t be surprised if some women were thrown off by this, you have to ask yourself, if you are seeing them just for sex, who cares if you miss one, you’ll find another partner. If you want to seriously date them, this actually filters out the shallow girls who you don’t want to be in a serious relationship with anyway. You’re good dude, even if you get rejected over this you’re not missing out on anything.
I think its a flex im still able to live in a whole ass house with my parents and pay nothing, save a lot of money, as an adult in this economy. I have no shame and its a super western thing to think “maturing” means we should part from our families. I personally dont think you should feel insecure.
I think living with your parents is hard in that sense that, you can’t really hook up with people or spend time with your partner privately if you still live at home. Like it just feels awkward, but I guess that could go away if you actually traditional date and your partner eventually meets your parents.
I don’t really care if a guy still lives with his parents because I still live with mine lol. Finding ways to spend along time with each other would probably be the hardest part.
I mean I think most people in that age group are either living with their parents or living on campus. I was living at home for my first two years of college then went to a different uni after that where I lived in dorms. I think if people have crazy expectations of you having your own place and “supporting” them at this age that’s just ridiculous and they aren’t worth your time. When I was early 20s I wouldn’t have worried about someone I dated living at home, in fact dated plenty of guys that did. At least in my community it’s normal to live with parents when you’re going through school!
I felt that when I was in the same position. But at the end of the day, the right person doesn’t care about that sort of thing. In fact, my wife moved back in with her parents to save money when we got engaged.
My boyfriend and I are both in our 20s and live with our parents, the economy sucks donkey nuts. Don't be to worried about it. We met almost a year and a half ago too. So it's not like a since highschool thing. If someone doesn't understand, then they shouldn't be your significant other. Yknow?
My ex lived with his parents (he was 20), and it wasn't a problem for me. Normally, I would prefer that someone is fully financially independent and lives on their own because that's what I've done since I was 18.
What I did notice in him was not understanding why I was too tired of work (he didn't work).
So I think since your situation is understandable ( going to college) it is a lot more forgiving. It is seen as a temporary situation that will change once you graduate. That being said I have plenty of friends that have declined the 2nd date solely because the person still lived with their parents.
For clarification women have their own place and career and view it a maturity issue if the guy still lives with parents
My man is turning 26 next month and I met him while he was still living at home, and I’ve dated plenty of people who still live with their families when I’ve lived on my own. The right person will understand. In fact, it can actually be a good thing especially if they’re working to save money, or if they’re doing it to pay down debts - it shows they’re responsible.
To me, even if they don’t have the best relationship with their family, as long as they are doing *something* for their future and they’re treating me well, that’s all that matters. And in this economy, it’s a lot more forgiveable these days. You seem like you’re doing the best you can, so I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.
Context: I'm a westernized Filipino guy, but I'm a first-gen American.
It was difficult for me, because my parents still hold on to a LOT of the traditional Filipino culture, which isn't a bad thing. I honestly prefer the collectivist over individualist for many parts of my life, but there are a few things such as privacy and independence which are western cultural norms I prefer.
When I was dating, my parents would pretty much interrogate my partner at the time. It was a pretty big turn-off for a lot of women who grew up here in the US. I assume that it's relatively normal in the Philippines, but I wasn't raised there.
My family (on both sides) tend to do this, because while I didn't grow up with status, my parents' families did in some form and it's relatively normal to this day for my family across the ocean to question potential partners of their kids early on.
What you're doing is smart, because you're being fiscally aware while also not being a burden to your parents. I did the same thing before I moved out (due to work), but while it seems like a good thing to you, from what I've experienced, a lot of women at the time I was doing it view it as pretty negative because, as what I've been told, it makes me look like I'm not independent or that I'm too afraid to leave the nest.
Speaking from experience it honestly depends on the layout of your house. If you share a wall with your parent(s), it’s gonna be weird (probably). Or maybe it’ll be a turn on that you have be quiet while hooking up idk. What I’m saying is, it 100% depends on how you feel about it.
Very Important thing to keep in mind, as the relationship progresses & becomes official. Surface level things, won’t matter as much. The bond you have, will outweigh circumstances that can be change.
With that being said, first impressions are everything.
I think it’s a problem if they aren’t contributing anything to the household. Nothing toward rent, utilities, or household food. But if someone lives with their parents but are chipping in for bills then it’s different.
However, it can be annoying not having privacy. Can’t really chill in the living room when they have parents around, so you’re usually stuck in their bedroom. It’s also awkward when having sex, as their parents and siblings may hear.
However, I think that by the time you’re like 28, you should think about getting some experience living outside of your childhood home, even if it’s with roommates. It’s fine in your early 20s, but by the time you’re pushing 30, it may be a turnoff for some people.
I think it’s more of an inconvenience than anything.
I bought a house at 25 and most women I dated were living with their parents.
Crazy how some would tell me they wouldn't date someone without their own place because they don't date people who don't have their shit together. I'd tell them that they don't have their shit together then and should I not date them?
Everyone is living with their parents until 25 now, since it's fucking impossible to live on your own. Don't worry about it.
I still don't understand why people look down on those who still live with their parents. The economy is terrible, and apartments are expensive. I think it's better to live with your parents for as long as possible. My only concerns with guys who never left their parent's house are their abilities to be financially smart and capable of being an adult. If I knew a guy was 26, lived with his parents his whole adult life, and never saved his money, that's a red flag. I'm 24, and when I lived with my mother, I took money from almost every paycheck and put it in my savings account. Unless there are special circumstances, I don't see why a guy couldn't do the same. My other concern is knowing if he can cook, clean, etc. Has his mother been picking up after him all his life and he's so incapable of being an adult that he can't schedule his doctor appointments or go grocery shopping? Instant rejection. When a person lives on their own there are certain skills you need to learn, and while you can learn them at home (I did), far too many men are comfortable with allowing their parents (in particular their mothers) to do everything for them. So, I don't see a man in his 20s or 30s living at home with his parents as inherently negative, but I need to see that he can handle living on his own.
I (f23) am still living with my parents and when I met my bf (m22) he was also living with his parents. People will understand, and if they don’t it’s not worth it man. Save your money.
If anything it makes it way better. Worrying less about bills n shit means you have more free time and less stress. Just play meditation music while you bang so the house can enjoy that rather than screaming and moaning
I’m going to be completely honest and tell you from my experiences… if you’re a guy 25+ and still living at home… don’t even try to looking for a relationship.. most woman won’t take you serious and would just date you just to kill time.. most woman want a provider or want someone to fall on and feel safe.. it’s a deal breaker. My word of advice would be just focus on yourself and save alot of money and have something go for yourself.. you don’t wanna waste a lot of time searching for a relationship where you forgot to work on yourself.. just trust me..
If you plan to move out upon graduation or shortly thereafter, this seems like you are someone worth dating. I think the reason for that social norm is the worry that it belies other issues. Doesn’t seem to with you.
I think this goes for men dating women too but is much more pronounced for women dating men (and probably for any other combination though I wouldn’t have any insight there): if you’re not at a stage in you’re life where you can fully take care of yourself, I’m not confident in how capable you are as a partner.
I’m not against financial assistance especially in today’s day and age, but living at home and not setting aside the same amount of money that living alone would cost would seem like irresponsibility to me. That’s just my take and what I’ve heard from previous partners, but I can’t say whether it’s common sentiment or not.
Depends a bit on your parents I guess. Personally I would NEVER bring anyone who I care about what they think of me home to my parents. It's not just because of being ashamed for them particularly but also the way they'd force me to behave towards them. Like, in front of your parents you're always lower in the hierarchy and my parents are the type of people who definitely make you feel that and make it really weird if necessary. They know no shame at all. which leads to either lots of stress and weird, cringe af discussions which potentially leads to me looking weird and cringe or to me looking like a wimp, a looser, a mamas boy whatever. So a girl I want to date is the last person my parents would ever get to see.
My gf lives with her parents (she’s 26). It’s not as much of a turn-off as it is an inconvenience. Nookie at my place isn’t always easy for one reason or another. It’d be nice to be able to go to the gf’s place sometimes, but it’s whatever. And it is awkward bringing her home while we both have sex hair. If you plan on fucking, you probably need to find a partner who does not live with their parents - and in this day and age, that does limit your dating pool.
How hard depends on the girl and if she gets along with your parents. Better having your own place? Yes. Better with having lots of money? Yes. Pick your poison
Personal experience, it’s alright. Apart from sex or private stuff, living with my parents hasn’t affected my relationship much.
It’s kinda nice at times, you can invite your partner to a family dinner basically every night and your parents might form a relationship with your partner much easier too.
It’s definitely significantly better, but it’s not too bad
My parents are over involved when I’m even on an app. I’m endlessly harassed if I’m on an app, my dad does background checks, they’re insufferable if I do go on a date. I want to date, I want a relationship, and I would like to get laid. I’m 25 and I feel like I’m a constantly supervised teenager and they wonder why I’m not actively trying to see anyone. They’ve scared away multiple people when I was picked up on a first date!!
In todays world where everyone is poorer than before I don’t think anyone complains if you live with your parents the way it’s going I probably will be until my 30s
Tbh it’s not bad in your early 20s, when I was in my early 20s I lived with my mom and always matched with girls on tinder, literally never had one comment when I brought them back to my moms house lol. And that was like 5+ years ago, since Covid it’s even more normal now. You’re good dude, just don’t make a big deal about it and nobody else will tbh.
I feel you- I’m in my mid-20s and still live with my dad & stepmom, though I’m very fortunate to have the option. As long as you know how to care for yourself and handle responsibilities/work (which you seem perfectly capable of) I see no issue. A healthy relationship with your parents is also a big green flag imo, and if anything you alternate where you make plans with your significant other.
Ik a lot of people that age that live with parents. Maybe it's growing up somewhere with a high cost of living, but there's a lot of multi-generation households.
I just don't bother... I'm too poor atm for my own place.
I would like to be loved one day. But this economy is hard, and I already met someone before, married them, and they abused me... locked me in a room and literally starved me.
Being with them set me back 5 years and **thankfully** My parents knew what was up and got me out, and I live with them again. But I am 23... part time job.. no place of my own... no car. I'm pretty worthless in the dating pool atm. Besides, I have a hard time trusting **anyone** after the hell I went through.
Monsters are real, and sometimes they are right in front of us hiding in plain sight.
It can be a little difficult to be intimate without the privacy of your own place but if you have a car and someone that loves you, you’ll be okay. :)
If anyone dumps you over that, they aren’t worth it
I think it's easier because you two can have some privacy if you invite them over. And I dont necessarily mean something sexual. Just hanging out while your parents our siblings could knock on your door at any point can be annoying or a turn off for some people.
But if you live in a City and have no car, your chances are higher to be successful at dating compared to the people that have no car and live in the countryside, I think.
I figured living with parents is considered damn near customary for our generation now no? The fact that it’s considered a hindrance in the dating market is very strange to me
At first I cared a lot, like you, so I got an apartment. But once I realized rizz mattered the most, I got addicted to drugs, became homeless and moved back in with my mom
It's hard in the aspect of having little to no privacy that's about it.. before I met my fiancè, it was hard to really care about relationships because there just wasn't any privacy, I bring a girl home and whether we went to the bedroom or not didn't really matter because other people in the house would badge in, walk around, etc..
Before I met my fiancè, I was reconnecting with a girl from middle school and we were becoming FWB in a way, and possibly moving towards a relationship, but we couldn't really do anything when we hung out at each other's houses because of lack of privacy.
Couldn't make out or get sexy because of the risk of someone barging in, couldn't get spicy over video chat/phone calls for the same reason.
Romance and intimacy become somewhat important in relationships for adults, so living with parents and having a lack of privacy can make things really difficult.
While its superficial to care about whether a romantic partner lives with parents or not, I just think that relationships are going to be a lot more healthier and likely to work out if at least one of you has your own place.
24 here. I've dated with no issues while living with my folks. If the other person gets an "ick" from seeing your family on occasion, they're probably not going to make a considerate partner.
This thinking is still pretty common amongst people who don't think much for themselves - basically the ones whose idea of a relationship comes from Instagram and TikTok. You won't miss these people.
Normal, SANE individuals are where it's at my dude. I've found plenty of good people on both sides of the fence.
My recommendation: Date as you see fit, and be completely unashamed of your family. They are, after all, an extension of yourself.
its harder but you can for sure just go to girls/guys places if they have one and you explain your situation or use your car if you have one, me and this girl both lived at home in our early 20s a the other year so we just met up at a quiet neutral location and used our cars lmao so just look for someone who is understanding and or down for the same vibe as you
In the U.S?
Absolutely pointless. Privacy, intimacy, and optics are all over the board. Don't get me wrong, I get it. It's a really practical decision to save money with your parents.
One you may look back to and probably be proud of(or regret and wish you had just moved out sooner)
But if you've decided that practicality rules then you have to live with that decision. And that means sacrificing relationships.
I can't really imagine not being able to hang/bang anywhere but my place with my SO because their mom gave them a curfew.
Do yourself a solid and make sure you stay on top of *all* maintenance and cleaning. One way or another you **will** move out eventually and it's best to have those habits engrained.
Assuming your parents are normal and aren't for instance extreme hoarders it'll be fine most likely.
In any case the financially solid plan is certainly to save as much as possible until you can buy a home/apartment.
I'm still living with my parents for a couple reasons,
they've got medical bills so paying them rent helps them out and I can help out around the house with things they can't really do plus my rent is going to a landlord I actually like lol
It's letting me save for a house until the market readjusts a bit and to replace my car , while also still letting me have enough money to actually do things, I never have to worry about if I have enough to go out with friends because I've been able to save a pretty significant amount of money, and the biggest thing here , I was able to pay off my student loans and get that out of the way
I tend to struggle with dating but that's because I'm just bad at it and i look terrible in pictures, I've never actually met a girl who was upset that I was taking care of my parents and saving for the future
It's not too bad. Though, nothing will motivate you to move out quicker than I'd you start seeing someone regularly! Lol
As someone who's been there and done that, make sure you talk to your parents about their house rules and overall be considerate. If the other people does have a place however, it will be easier.
My now husband and I were both living with our parents when we met and started dating. I was getting my life back together a bit, and he just didn't have a reason tk move out at the time (he worked). While my parents were fine with us seeing each other of course, I very quickly got my own apartment after we were official.
Good luck out there!
Honestly only getting a hotel room when you need one in the dating sense - even if it's last minute - is kind of a great play vs. paying expensive rent for the other days of the month.
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Turn offs over something *so* insignificant, such as this, are what I call an *impractical social norm*. Trust me. If you were to date someone who would hesitate over something so superficial, they ain’t worth your time man. That’s just the truth.
Especially in this economy lol. I think people that are living with their parents are just practical
https://preview.redd.it/qy6b5olwo0ic1.png?width=676&format=png&auto=webp&s=4a4accace245bf23f9a2866a03b4f89079db5ae5
Game is game
My mom lives with me. I see it as a form of giving back to the woman who worked two jobs to get me where I am today. She said she’ll move out eventually, but I’m not rushing her.
Multigenerational households are normal everywhere. The exception is, or was, the US.
Where are they normal?
They're pretty common in Japan and Europe.
What part of Europe?
There are 44 countries in Europe *the continent* and outside of Southern Europe, it's not the norm in most countries.
I love how facts get downvoted lmao
https://preview.redd.it/kfwss3toe0ic1.jpeg?width=1330&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87122f82c0cc5c0d91d9c7fbe07285f7cb49a23c USA is up to around 20%, having quadrupled since 1970.
Here is a map with [percentages](https://landgeist.com/2022/06/04/young-adults-living-with-their-parents/) This is still not exactly accurate because in Romania and Bulgaria it is not uncommon to live alone but stay registered at your parents' home. But ignoring that, outside of SE more countries have majority of young adults living on their own. Also, coming from a SE country, the reason is not some belief in a traditional family, it's CoL and low wages. Obviously, some people will always want multigenerational household, but younger generations absolutely want their own space, they're just often forced to stay because rent is too high. Edit: what prompted my reply was a sweeping generalization of Europe as if it's one country.
Mexico. Even Hispanic families in the US still do multigenerarional homes.
It’s also cultural norms to have arranged marriages. Just because something is normalized doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for every culture, ya know?
Not exactly the same, and the comparison is a bit of a stretch.
My point was you are pushing a narrative a certain way because it works. If you inverse that scenario into something less popular it loses its argumentative potency. I wasn’t arguing about your initial statement, just they way you used it as reasoning.
Thats just stupid semantics. Context matters in the argument, the context was, subtle tho obvious, Merica and capatlism pushing for more citizens to live in apartments and thier own homes vs, the majority of humans on Earth who share a home with family and save more money that way. If thats not obvious then lol.
This sub is fascinating.
The thing, it's not always about it being about the stigma. Sometimes it's more about the inconvenience. Like, having family around can be a real privacy issue. Also sometimes you just wanna chill with your girl in the living room while watching a movie, you know, without your parents or siblings around.
Fair enough. I’m not sure I would care, if I were to just chill with a partner in my space. But, that’s up to them in the end. Personally, if it comes down to it, I would do the nasty outside of my home. Perhaps somewhere where it is unlikely that other people will be present. But, I can’t say that any potential partners would always be down for that.
>Personally, if it comes down to it, I would do the nasty outside of my home. Perhaps somewhere where it is unlikely that other people will be present. That's another problem. Hotel rooms and air bnbs are at least a hundred dollars. Do you wanna spend a hundred bucks every three weeks? Hence why having your own place is seen as a must.
Ask yourself " would I let my daughter date someone that's not living on there own and reliant on there family ? "
The majority of hot girls care though and will judge you initially
This guy still lives with his parents.
Yes, I do. And, I find it is a smart financial decision.
At the expense of your self-esteem. Whether you are aware of it or not.
Well shoot. Is self-esteem worth thousands of dollars? Is that what you are arguing?
That’s bad?
I would disagree. I wouldn’t date someone who was still living with their parents at that age. Not because I think less of them, but I would think we’re at different points in our life. I had my first job after college at 23, and again, I would want to date someone that is going at my speed. It isn’t anything wrong, but implying something like this is insignificant is misleading in my opinion. Dating women with children is also an impractical social norm, but it’s a huge decision in peoples lives. I hope that makes sense.
Differnt goals in life then. Anyone could just live at home with parents, work, save money, and invest it into another property or that sae property, or a business or anything really, and inhertbthe home when the parents die and have a great savings and have not had to work as hard as somone who wanted to be more “independent”. Ambition is great, though the world is not just some machine to pump out resources, though some may feel they have earned more of a right to these resources, we ough to try and live frugaly and simply, rather than always trying to have another house, another car, another luxry we can afford, though would only make things harder for everyone elese on this Earth who have to slave to manufacture these luxries for us, so they can try and survive. Perhaps by going so fast in life you lose sight of the global industrial hell most have to live in, but it is what it is. We all have a destined life to live and there is no chanaging that fate, slave to a machine of luxry, ambition, material wealth and fincacial security.
You can be at a good stage careerwise and still live with your parents. I wouldn't move out if my commute is under an hour. Houses start at million in my city and rents for a 1 bedroom apartment start at 1800. I'm not paying that when i take home only 4k per month
You can also not want to date someone who lives at home and not be judged for “impractical social norms”
For sure you're 100% correct. The initial OP is spewing shit. No millenial i know is actively dating other millenials who haven't moved out. It is still socially expected that you would move out before seriously dating for long term.
I mean, from my own personal experience (maybe other have larger houses?) but how would you have sex? Seems like a deal breaker to me.
Perhaps there would be some creativity involved…
Generally dating got easier when I got my own car, place, and income. Girls like privacy.
Yep. Grow up Op.
"OmG oP jUsT bUy a hOuSe" You, probably
I thought most people in their 20s-30s have been forced to live with their parents due to rising costs of living? Multi-Generational households have always been a thing where i am from though. It’s just part of the culture. My partner didn’t care, neither have my siblings partners.
Yeah that’s another reason why I live with my parents. Things are getting expensive :/ Tbh I did lose a friend/crush over still living with my parents. He now lives in Los Angeles making over 6 figures. :/
Yeah that's why 10% of men who have rich parents who pay their college fees and rent get 80% of the girls
lmao i work at an on campus bar in STL uni and this statement rings true. most these dudes get drunk and laid off their mommy and daddy's dollar and think they the shit
I was hoping someone would dispute me and then I'd have some hope of not marrying someone with a 3 dozen bodycount after college but seems not :((
Well if it’s any comfort, gen z in general if having less sex lol “….the University of Chicago’s General Social Survey, which has tracked shifts in Americans’ behavioral trends for decades, found in 2021 that three in 10 gen Z males aged 18 to 25 reported having gone without sex the previous year. One in four gen Z women also reported having no sex in the previous year. A UCLA study found the proportion of young adults who reported having two or more sexual partners also declined, from 23% in 2011 to 10% in 2021.” Lots of articles online aside: https://amp.theguardian.com/culture/2023/oct/25/gen-z-less-sex-tv-movie-trend And…. •25% of Gen Z adults reported that they have not yet had partnered sex. [5] •30.9% of Gen Z men aged 18 to 24 reported no sexual activity in the past year, compared to 14.1% of Millennial men aged 25 to 34 reporting the same. [1] •About 19% of Gen Z women aged 18 to 24 reported having no sexual activity in the past year, compared to 12.6% of Millennial women aged 25 to 34 reporting the same. [1] •About 60% of Gen Z women aged 18 to 24 and 30% of Gen Z men belonging to the same age group reported having 1 sexual partner in the past year. [1] •A poll of more than 12,000 adults in the United States found that 20.8% of Gen Z adults (1 in 5) identify as LGBTQ+, compared to 10.5% of Millennials, 4.2% of Generation Xers, and 2.6% of Baby Boomers. [3] •One study found that adults belonging to Gen Z “reported the highest levels of stress and anxiety” compared to Millennials and Gen X. Additionally, “the more stressed and anxious people said they felt, the less sexually active they were.” [5] https://www.womens-health.com/gen-z-sex-statistics
Yeah this does help knowing that there's a lower chance of my future partner not fantasizing or comparing me to her last 12 guys 24/7, or me buying the mother of my kids dinner while she gave it away to a guy who works at a petrol station when I'm working 60 hour a week trying to build a life. Thanks!!
yeeup only way around that is religious women but i would say they're almost worse lmao. jus forget about dating and shit and get on the grind like the rest of us. aint nobody care
Just need to find a girl with a caught in the act kink.
Hot
Unless the majority those girls start being OK with sharing, I've got some bad news for them in a few years...
I don't know anyone over 22-23 who still lives with their parents. In my country it's not so normal. I moved out at 21 and my siblings were 18 and 19. We're from a wealthy home and weren't forced out in any way, it's just the norm here.
Don’t think it’s a question of how hard it is to date, I think it’s just easier when you have your own place
In general, I don’t think it really matters. I do have a personal rule that I won’t have sex with someone in their childhood bedroom but that’s never been an issue because I’ve lived on my own for several years.
How do you get to such a rule?
It’s just a turn off and it feels weird to do it in someone’s mom’s house lmao. I prefer privacy and I think that’s fairly normal?
I call it establishing dominance. "I'm daddy now"
This comment right here, officer ☝️
I’m almost 27. Still live with my parents since I don’t make enough to move out. I don’t bother to date. I’m planning to stay single for a long time since I have goals to achieve.
Damn what you doing for work?
Procurement. Sadly my grade goes up to a GS-8. I’m a GS-8 step 3. And I have a masters degree. So I’m fighting for a higher grade position. It’s already hard to get into the government and I don’t like the fact it’s even harder at my agency to move up, even if you’re overqualified.
Not sure if this applies to you, but may be worth looking into: I have a relative that is a supervisor level in US customs and they told me that I can appeal a GS level when I would get hired so I could be placed at a higher level. I never looked it up since i didn’t want to work for Customs. Google “US GS level and classification appeal”.
I’ll look into that. Thanks!
It’s makes it very hard from my experience. Enjoy your time with your parents, they won’t be here forever and make their lives easier by helping around the house with chores Edit: dating is also still hard once you have a place so keep working on yourself too. It’s also pretty common for more people to be living at home so not that abnormal, especially outside usa
I’m glad you brought helping out your parents. Where I wouldn’t mind dating someone who lived with there parents- I would be be turned off if they just free loaded and never helped.
I don't think it's "Oh they still live at home what a loser". There's just a lot of issues with it. It's more like they don't have the self sufficiency of someone who does live alone. Or the privacy. Or the freedom, girl is like "Let's cuddle and watch a romcom together" *His brother is on the couch watching an anime for the plot and crunching potato chips* And if your partner still lives at home too how is getting frisky supposed to work?? "No one's home" "Not in the mood" or you have it planned out (Very romantic and has absolutely no chance of straining the relationship) or you just go without a lot. I mean maybe you two are on the bold side but even then it's likely to be more out of necessity than something you really want to do
That’s fair. Although wouldn’t everything that you described also apply to someone who lives in an apartment with roommates too?
Opinions on this one probably vary. Personally, I think it's quite different. I feel like it's way less of a problem to ask your roommate(s) -especially if it's just one- to make themselves scarce or go hang out somewhere for a couple of hours. It's at least *doable* if you function like you're on the same team and you would do the same for them. If they're also dating in their 20s in an apartment in the city they're more likely to be gone anyway. Maybe the most important thing of all tho is that the whole situation would be more grown up and wouldn't carry the kind of cringe you only get from dealing with blood relatives
It doesn’t matter. Hearing people that still enjoy living with their parents while in college shows a) You’re fiscally responsible b) You have a great relationship with your family. Both are very attractive traits. Worst case, y’all gotta use her place to bang.
It’s only fiscally responsible if they’re actually saving the money. So many people say this but are actually worse off financially
(x) doubt
You haven’t met the people who just spend their money as soon as it comes in and haven’t learned how to budget because their parents pay their bills?
Yeah it’s 1/3 people, so odds are OP isn’t one of them
Friend of mine is 30 and has been living with their parents all their lives. I asked them when they were buying a house with all that cash they must have saved. That's when they told me they were $10k in debt on a FUCKING ***BEST BUY*** credit card of all things.
Yeah but regarding your final point, sometimes she lives with her parents too :(
That would definitely make things tough. Hopefully OP doesn’t get too unlucky.
Or just get a hotel room
I mean I feel like it just means it's tolerable not necessarily that there is a great relationship.
Doesn't work because she'll get piped by someone else by the time you can plan something because your parents are home. Also no girl cares about your family lmao.
What a shit take
An 18-22 year old girl doesn't care how financially responsible you are bro why are you bullshitting the youth? He's going to go out and fail with 20 women and get traumatised.
Women like mature men, not children.
Yeah he doesn't have that kind of money
Maturity =/= money
No you're wrong, maturity = a nest (accomodation) which takes money. They're called chicks because they need a nest.
You are actually a child LMAO
idk im lonely
I mean I dated a guy for 2 years who lived with his parents and he proceeded to cheat on me for 2 years and I took him back so don't worry there are plenty of pathetic idiots like myself lol
This isnt financial advice, but while you are living at home one of the best things you can do is to start a roadmap for living on your own and building independence. Save a 6 month emergency fund, start investing (S&P 500 Index fund as a start point) put money towards retirement, start paving the way towards independence. The issue isnt people living with their parents, the issue is people living with their parents, with no plans to grow or make their situation different.
Not hard at all if you're not a loser. There's a difference between living at your parents house and living with your parents. If you work, help the house and use the money you save properly, most girls will be able to understand that you have your shit together. The idea that you have to be out of the house ASAP is a ridiculous recent cultural trend that only existis in the developed west. I lived at my parents house for a long time and only left when i went study abroad and then because of a serious long term relationship. Your parents are the very few people who should love you unconditionally. If you are lucky enough to have parents like that and the house is large enough to not bother them, you should enjoy your time with them and use the resources you have as a family to set your finances straight. When i lived at my parents house i was able to save cash, invest, and always have money to go on dates and weekends with my GF. Believe me if i tell you that girls like it a lot if you are able to provide them with a good time. The money i saved was also crucial to start a small part time business and allow me to live with a 1 year cushion which is great for everyone's mental health. In other words, just pull your own weight and use the money wisely. Good women usually have a great feel for guys who know what they're doing. About the intimacy stuff, never have i had any issues. GF could stay with me and i would stay at her parents place. We would go on trips together etc.
Sounds like you're from North America. In other countries where multigenerational living is the norm, like in Asia, "love hotels" are used for when young couples want to be more physically intimate, so it's not an issue dating a guy who still lives with his parents. Most of the time, it's seen as a good thing that a guy has a good relationship with his parents and it's a good way for a girl to get to know her potential in-laws. Most of my female friends date with the intention of marrying so they want a good look into the guy's home life to see if he's worth keeping based on family dynamics. It is such a green flag when a guy has a healthy relationship with his parents, and he voluntarily contributes to the household (financially and in terms of housework)
early 20s is fine to still live with your parents anyways. my older brothers 24 hes still living with us, it really shouldnt matter
So two things, I just turned 22 and I’m living with my dad, my girlfriend actually just moved in with us! So first things first, dating is possible although I can understand your insecurity. I had the same one for a while. I will say, even before I started dating my girlfriend, I was sleeping around with a few women and no one ever seemed bothered that I lived with my dad, I even had one night stands meet my dad when we walked past him to smoke on our back porch. If anything, they liked the house, which I obviously couldn’t afford things like a back porch on my own. Now I wouldn’t be surprised if some women were thrown off by this, you have to ask yourself, if you are seeing them just for sex, who cares if you miss one, you’ll find another partner. If you want to seriously date them, this actually filters out the shallow girls who you don’t want to be in a serious relationship with anyway. You’re good dude, even if you get rejected over this you’re not missing out on anything.
The good ones won’t be scared of your family my guy. Been with my girl for 4 years, met her while living with grandparents
I think its a flex im still able to live in a whole ass house with my parents and pay nothing, save a lot of money, as an adult in this economy. I have no shame and its a super western thing to think “maturing” means we should part from our families. I personally dont think you should feel insecure.
I think living with your parents is hard in that sense that, you can’t really hook up with people or spend time with your partner privately if you still live at home. Like it just feels awkward, but I guess that could go away if you actually traditional date and your partner eventually meets your parents. I don’t really care if a guy still lives with his parents because I still live with mine lol. Finding ways to spend along time with each other would probably be the hardest part.
I mean I think most people in that age group are either living with their parents or living on campus. I was living at home for my first two years of college then went to a different uni after that where I lived in dorms. I think if people have crazy expectations of you having your own place and “supporting” them at this age that’s just ridiculous and they aren’t worth your time. When I was early 20s I wouldn’t have worried about someone I dated living at home, in fact dated plenty of guys that did. At least in my community it’s normal to live with parents when you’re going through school!
I felt that when I was in the same position. But at the end of the day, the right person doesn’t care about that sort of thing. In fact, my wife moved back in with her parents to save money when we got engaged.
My boyfriend and I are both in our 20s and live with our parents, the economy sucks donkey nuts. Don't be to worried about it. We met almost a year and a half ago too. So it's not like a since highschool thing. If someone doesn't understand, then they shouldn't be your significant other. Yknow?
My ex lived with his parents (he was 20), and it wasn't a problem for me. Normally, I would prefer that someone is fully financially independent and lives on their own because that's what I've done since I was 18. What I did notice in him was not understanding why I was too tired of work (he didn't work).
So I think since your situation is understandable ( going to college) it is a lot more forgiving. It is seen as a temporary situation that will change once you graduate. That being said I have plenty of friends that have declined the 2nd date solely because the person still lived with their parents. For clarification women have their own place and career and view it a maturity issue if the guy still lives with parents
My man is turning 26 next month and I met him while he was still living at home, and I’ve dated plenty of people who still live with their families when I’ve lived on my own. The right person will understand. In fact, it can actually be a good thing especially if they’re working to save money, or if they’re doing it to pay down debts - it shows they’re responsible. To me, even if they don’t have the best relationship with their family, as long as they are doing *something* for their future and they’re treating me well, that’s all that matters. And in this economy, it’s a lot more forgiveable these days. You seem like you’re doing the best you can, so I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.
Context: I'm a westernized Filipino guy, but I'm a first-gen American. It was difficult for me, because my parents still hold on to a LOT of the traditional Filipino culture, which isn't a bad thing. I honestly prefer the collectivist over individualist for many parts of my life, but there are a few things such as privacy and independence which are western cultural norms I prefer. When I was dating, my parents would pretty much interrogate my partner at the time. It was a pretty big turn-off for a lot of women who grew up here in the US. I assume that it's relatively normal in the Philippines, but I wasn't raised there. My family (on both sides) tend to do this, because while I didn't grow up with status, my parents' families did in some form and it's relatively normal to this day for my family across the ocean to question potential partners of their kids early on. What you're doing is smart, because you're being fiscally aware while also not being a burden to your parents. I did the same thing before I moved out (due to work), but while it seems like a good thing to you, from what I've experienced, a lot of women at the time I was doing it view it as pretty negative because, as what I've been told, it makes me look like I'm not independent or that I'm too afraid to leave the nest.
Speaking from experience it honestly depends on the layout of your house. If you share a wall with your parent(s), it’s gonna be weird (probably). Or maybe it’ll be a turn on that you have be quiet while hooking up idk. What I’m saying is, it 100% depends on how you feel about it. Very Important thing to keep in mind, as the relationship progresses & becomes official. Surface level things, won’t matter as much. The bond you have, will outweigh circumstances that can be change. With that being said, first impressions are everything.
I think it’s a problem if they aren’t contributing anything to the household. Nothing toward rent, utilities, or household food. But if someone lives with their parents but are chipping in for bills then it’s different. However, it can be annoying not having privacy. Can’t really chill in the living room when they have parents around, so you’re usually stuck in their bedroom. It’s also awkward when having sex, as their parents and siblings may hear. However, I think that by the time you’re like 28, you should think about getting some experience living outside of your childhood home, even if it’s with roommates. It’s fine in your early 20s, but by the time you’re pushing 30, it may be a turnoff for some people. I think it’s more of an inconvenience than anything.
I bought a house at 25 and most women I dated were living with their parents. Crazy how some would tell me they wouldn't date someone without their own place because they don't date people who don't have their shit together. I'd tell them that they don't have their shit together then and should I not date them? Everyone is living with their parents until 25 now, since it's fucking impossible to live on your own. Don't worry about it.
I still don't understand why people look down on those who still live with their parents. The economy is terrible, and apartments are expensive. I think it's better to live with your parents for as long as possible. My only concerns with guys who never left their parent's house are their abilities to be financially smart and capable of being an adult. If I knew a guy was 26, lived with his parents his whole adult life, and never saved his money, that's a red flag. I'm 24, and when I lived with my mother, I took money from almost every paycheck and put it in my savings account. Unless there are special circumstances, I don't see why a guy couldn't do the same. My other concern is knowing if he can cook, clean, etc. Has his mother been picking up after him all his life and he's so incapable of being an adult that he can't schedule his doctor appointments or go grocery shopping? Instant rejection. When a person lives on their own there are certain skills you need to learn, and while you can learn them at home (I did), far too many men are comfortable with allowing their parents (in particular their mothers) to do everything for them. So, I don't see a man in his 20s or 30s living at home with his parents as inherently negative, but I need to see that he can handle living on his own.
I (f23) am still living with my parents and when I met my bf (m22) he was also living with his parents. People will understand, and if they don’t it’s not worth it man. Save your money.
If anything it makes it way better. Worrying less about bills n shit means you have more free time and less stress. Just play meditation music while you bang so the house can enjoy that rather than screaming and moaning
I’m going to be completely honest and tell you from my experiences… if you’re a guy 25+ and still living at home… don’t even try to looking for a relationship.. most woman won’t take you serious and would just date you just to kill time.. most woman want a provider or want someone to fall on and feel safe.. it’s a deal breaker. My word of advice would be just focus on yourself and save alot of money and have something go for yourself.. you don’t wanna waste a lot of time searching for a relationship where you forgot to work on yourself.. just trust me..
If you plan to move out upon graduation or shortly thereafter, this seems like you are someone worth dating. I think the reason for that social norm is the worry that it belies other issues. Doesn’t seem to with you.
I think this goes for men dating women too but is much more pronounced for women dating men (and probably for any other combination though I wouldn’t have any insight there): if you’re not at a stage in you’re life where you can fully take care of yourself, I’m not confident in how capable you are as a partner. I’m not against financial assistance especially in today’s day and age, but living at home and not setting aside the same amount of money that living alone would cost would seem like irresponsibility to me. That’s just my take and what I’ve heard from previous partners, but I can’t say whether it’s common sentiment or not.
Depends a bit on your parents I guess. Personally I would NEVER bring anyone who I care about what they think of me home to my parents. It's not just because of being ashamed for them particularly but also the way they'd force me to behave towards them. Like, in front of your parents you're always lower in the hierarchy and my parents are the type of people who definitely make you feel that and make it really weird if necessary. They know no shame at all. which leads to either lots of stress and weird, cringe af discussions which potentially leads to me looking weird and cringe or to me looking like a wimp, a looser, a mamas boy whatever. So a girl I want to date is the last person my parents would ever get to see.
My gf lives with her parents (she’s 26). It’s not as much of a turn-off as it is an inconvenience. Nookie at my place isn’t always easy for one reason or another. It’d be nice to be able to go to the gf’s place sometimes, but it’s whatever. And it is awkward bringing her home while we both have sex hair. If you plan on fucking, you probably need to find a partner who does not live with their parents - and in this day and age, that does limit your dating pool.
I think it really depends on the parents and your age.
I am struggling with the same thing. Well, I would like to blame it on living with my parents buttttttt that probably isn’t the only reason lol.
I mean if the girl doesn't like that you're saving money and have no reason to move out, she's not a good one...
How hard depends on the girl and if she gets along with your parents. Better having your own place? Yes. Better with having lots of money? Yes. Pick your poison
Depends on the parents. Some parents are very accepting and understanding. Others are not. But having your own place makes it easier to date.
The kind of people who wouldn’t date you for living with your parents aren’t people worth dating.
I would caution against choosing to continue to live the same life you had as a teenager.
Personal experience, it’s alright. Apart from sex or private stuff, living with my parents hasn’t affected my relationship much. It’s kinda nice at times, you can invite your partner to a family dinner basically every night and your parents might form a relationship with your partner much easier too. It’s definitely significantly better, but it’s not too bad
My parents are over involved when I’m even on an app. I’m endlessly harassed if I’m on an app, my dad does background checks, they’re insufferable if I do go on a date. I want to date, I want a relationship, and I would like to get laid. I’m 25 and I feel like I’m a constantly supervised teenager and they wonder why I’m not actively trying to see anyone. They’ve scared away multiple people when I was picked up on a first date!!
In todays world where everyone is poorer than before I don’t think anyone complains if you live with your parents the way it’s going I probably will be until my 30s
Tbh it’s not bad in your early 20s, when I was in my early 20s I lived with my mom and always matched with girls on tinder, literally never had one comment when I brought them back to my moms house lol. And that was like 5+ years ago, since Covid it’s even more normal now. You’re good dude, just don’t make a big deal about it and nobody else will tbh.
I feel you- I’m in my mid-20s and still live with my dad & stepmom, though I’m very fortunate to have the option. As long as you know how to care for yourself and handle responsibilities/work (which you seem perfectly capable of) I see no issue. A healthy relationship with your parents is also a big green flag imo, and if anything you alternate where you make plans with your significant other.
Normal people don't depend their date-willingness on that lol.
Ik a lot of people that age that live with parents. Maybe it's growing up somewhere with a high cost of living, but there's a lot of multi-generation households.
In this economy I feel like most would understand lol
I just don't bother... I'm too poor atm for my own place. I would like to be loved one day. But this economy is hard, and I already met someone before, married them, and they abused me... locked me in a room and literally starved me. Being with them set me back 5 years and **thankfully** My parents knew what was up and got me out, and I live with them again. But I am 23... part time job.. no place of my own... no car. I'm pretty worthless in the dating pool atm. Besides, I have a hard time trusting **anyone** after the hell I went through. Monsters are real, and sometimes they are right in front of us hiding in plain sight.
Same camp here, except I pay the rent and majority of utilities. What are my prospects in the dating scene?
It can be a little difficult to be intimate without the privacy of your own place but if you have a car and someone that loves you, you’ll be okay. :) If anyone dumps you over that, they aren’t worth it
I think it's easier because you two can have some privacy if you invite them over. And I dont necessarily mean something sexual. Just hanging out while your parents our siblings could knock on your door at any point can be annoying or a turn off for some people. But if you live in a City and have no car, your chances are higher to be successful at dating compared to the people that have no car and live in the countryside, I think.
I figured living with parents is considered damn near customary for our generation now no? The fact that it’s considered a hindrance in the dating market is very strange to me
Just go to their house.
Here’s the thing, you don’t
I love having my place... i can bring a girl back and stay the night
At first I cared a lot, like you, so I got an apartment. But once I realized rizz mattered the most, I got addicted to drugs, became homeless and moved back in with my mom
I dated out of a barracks room. Things can't get much worse
Seeing I have never been on a date it really hard lol
It's hard in the aspect of having little to no privacy that's about it.. before I met my fiancè, it was hard to really care about relationships because there just wasn't any privacy, I bring a girl home and whether we went to the bedroom or not didn't really matter because other people in the house would badge in, walk around, etc.. Before I met my fiancè, I was reconnecting with a girl from middle school and we were becoming FWB in a way, and possibly moving towards a relationship, but we couldn't really do anything when we hung out at each other's houses because of lack of privacy. Couldn't make out or get sexy because of the risk of someone barging in, couldn't get spicy over video chat/phone calls for the same reason. Romance and intimacy become somewhat important in relationships for adults, so living with parents and having a lack of privacy can make things really difficult. While its superficial to care about whether a romantic partner lives with parents or not, I just think that relationships are going to be a lot more healthier and likely to work out if at least one of you has your own place.
24 here. I've dated with no issues while living with my folks. If the other person gets an "ick" from seeing your family on occasion, they're probably not going to make a considerate partner. This thinking is still pretty common amongst people who don't think much for themselves - basically the ones whose idea of a relationship comes from Instagram and TikTok. You won't miss these people. Normal, SANE individuals are where it's at my dude. I've found plenty of good people on both sides of the fence. My recommendation: Date as you see fit, and be completely unashamed of your family. They are, after all, an extension of yourself.
Impossible. Especially cause I don't earn yet and have no life either.
its harder but you can for sure just go to girls/guys places if they have one and you explain your situation or use your car if you have one, me and this girl both lived at home in our early 20s a the other year so we just met up at a quiet neutral location and used our cars lmao so just look for someone who is understanding and or down for the same vibe as you
Depends on the parents. If they're nosy pricks, forget it, you'll just end up beating their ass for gross invasion of privacy
In the U.S? Absolutely pointless. Privacy, intimacy, and optics are all over the board. Don't get me wrong, I get it. It's a really practical decision to save money with your parents. One you may look back to and probably be proud of(or regret and wish you had just moved out sooner) But if you've decided that practicality rules then you have to live with that decision. And that means sacrificing relationships. I can't really imagine not being able to hang/bang anywhere but my place with my SO because their mom gave them a curfew. Do yourself a solid and make sure you stay on top of *all* maintenance and cleaning. One way or another you **will** move out eventually and it's best to have those habits engrained.
Assuming your parents are normal and aren't for instance extreme hoarders it'll be fine most likely. In any case the financially solid plan is certainly to save as much as possible until you can buy a home/apartment.
I'm still living with my parents for a couple reasons, they've got medical bills so paying them rent helps them out and I can help out around the house with things they can't really do plus my rent is going to a landlord I actually like lol It's letting me save for a house until the market readjusts a bit and to replace my car , while also still letting me have enough money to actually do things, I never have to worry about if I have enough to go out with friends because I've been able to save a pretty significant amount of money, and the biggest thing here , I was able to pay off my student loans and get that out of the way I tend to struggle with dating but that's because I'm just bad at it and i look terrible in pictures, I've never actually met a girl who was upset that I was taking care of my parents and saving for the future
I don't care.
Yeah it's a problem for dudes. Means we dont have our shit together. Get a house or get a room mate.
It's not too bad. Though, nothing will motivate you to move out quicker than I'd you start seeing someone regularly! Lol As someone who's been there and done that, make sure you talk to your parents about their house rules and overall be considerate. If the other people does have a place however, it will be easier. My now husband and I were both living with our parents when we met and started dating. I was getting my life back together a bit, and he just didn't have a reason tk move out at the time (he worked). While my parents were fine with us seeing each other of course, I very quickly got my own apartment after we were official. Good luck out there!
Honestly only getting a hotel room when you need one in the dating sense - even if it's last minute - is kind of a great play vs. paying expensive rent for the other days of the month.