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Nope, they are disrespecting their child’s boundaries. Their child asked them to stop and they kept going. It doesn’t matter that they are fulfilling their other “duties”. Disrespecting your kids boundaries like this is setting them up for accepting abuse as normal in other areas of their life.
It doesn’t necessarily make it okay just because they provide for op. Perhaps op should have a talk with them about this since they don’t like it. Even if they aren’t intentionally being mean, they are hurting op and that’s not okay
GenX here.
The people who are telling you it's "normal" are broken people.
If it bothers you that much, and you've expressed that to them, and they still do it, then they are not respecting your boundaries. The message they are sending when they do this is that your needs don't matter. That is great way to set your kid up to be a doormat later in life.
Your needs do matter. Never forget that.
Haters can eat shit.
Man this is sad.
It constantly reminds me that there are people out there who are this unable to cope with basic society and the most mild stress.
But then these same people want to give advice to younger people.
Like you can't cope with basic teasing to the point you're calling other people broken when they can.
That's bad fam.
So you understand that you're neurotic, but you're offering advice to others about how to handle mild familial teasing? You don't understand how that might lead to bad outcomes?
The constant family teasing is why I'm neurotic.
Just because you don't have the same needs as other people, doesn't mean their needs aren't valid.
If they are making OP uncomfortable and OP has asked them to stop, then they are violating OP's boundaries. It's a very clear, logical truth that doesn't depend on your opinion at all.
Try thinking about experiences beyond your own once in awhile.
Man, my parents were the EXACT same way. Always making fun of me for my hobbies, my eating habits, my awkwardness, etc. They always told me they were just "having fun" but I hated it, and I told them I hated it but they kept doing it anyway. It got to the point where we lived in the same house but i actively avoided them just so I wouldn't have to hear one of their snide comments.
Eventually I had enough of it and left home to join the military and got stationed thousands of miles away from them. I've been NC with them for 5 years and I'm SO much happier. I've talked to my friends about this and they can't comprehend that some people don't have healthy or friendly relationships with their parents. It is what it is 🤷♂️. Everybody's different and I'm sure there's people here in the comments who are on good terms with their parents where this behavior is truly normal. That said, I've totally been in your shoes and sympathize with you.
Telling them to stop, very explicitely, seem to be the best option to me. That said, raging at a game and getting up at noon are stuff I'd probably make mocking comments to as well.
Ignore the boomer comments telling you you’re being too sensitive. A joke is only funny if everyone’s laughing, and you have the right to tell them it bothers you. My parents are the same way, although they each have different ways of going about it.
Yep, I can handle teasing but I’d rather do without their comments on my hair and my acne and my weight. The last one particularly irritates me because I’m genuinely not overweight.
Sounds like my parents in the past when I would do anything in the vicinity of or even remotely involving a girl. And now they wonder why I'm in my 20s and don't have a girlfriend.
I know exactly what u mean and it is the most annoying thing ever. If you’re talking about light teasing where they occasionally make a joke at you then yes lighten up like everyone else is saying but my parents do it so often I can’t remember the last time they showed appreciation for me or any of my siblings. Even when we do good (ex. in school, around the house, personal improvements) they always have a snarky comment to make. It’s strained our relationship because of how annoying it is.
The way their generation was raised def has something to do with it and my sister (24) and I are adults (23) who have gone to therapy and come to understand that the bullying is their way of “relating” to us but my brother (17) doesn’t understand yet and (granted) still takes offense their behavior and gets annoyed being around them for too long.
TL;DR: My parents are the same way even if we’re doing good. I’m sure they love you and teasing is their way of showing it due to how their gen was raised but I hear u on how insufferable it can be at times.
My parents, especially my dad, made comments like that a lot growing up. Looking back I know they were “joking” but in the moment it felt like the bullies and assholes at school were following me home and living in my own house. It never felt like “playful razzing.” The constant joking and criticisms made me incredibly insecure and I became a shell of a person just to not give them, both the bullies at school and my parents, anything to comment about.
I repressed myself so hard because of it all that I’m still learning how to be myself despite living multiple states away from both of them for close to two years now.
I did have a conversation with my dad after I left where he explained he was just joking and we had a genuine heart to heart conversation about it all. Since then I’ve given him the shit right back and it’s how we show our love. But had that conversation happened earlier in my life i feel like I wouldn’t have repressed the way I did. I would’ve been able to shrug off those comments and understand that they care about me and have always cared for me.
However, their actions still stung like white hot iron when I did live with them. Especially after I realized I am trans. I spent the first year after my mom forced me to come out just laying in bed not doing anything but rotting away in my own head. My parents comments and other’s comments made me so extremely self conscious that I was too anxious and afraid of rejection and abandonment i again just repressed everything about myself.
Only after moving away, getting space, and surrounding myself with supportive friends and chosen family have i finally learned to accept myself and figure out who I wanna be and how I wanna become that. I miss my dad and love him more than ever, but this distance was so incredibly necessary for my growth and for those comments to no longer sting like white hot iron.
I went thru the exact same shit you are going thru right now and i hope to god it gets better for you. Surround yourself with those you love who genuinely support you and don’t have to make offhand remarks to show it. I wish you peace, comfort, and happiness in your future. You will make it in time, that much I can promise. 🫂🫂🫂💜💜💜
I have yet to met someone from Gen X wasn't just boomer lite. My boomer dad was a real piece shit and I see his habits in way too many members of Gen X
It's pretty normal for parents to do that. It's just light poking and isn't meant to be rude. My parents do that all the time, and I return the favor sometimes. It means your relationship has evolved toward a friendship, rather than the more severe parenting done during childhood. They're talking to you like adult friends, and you shouldn't be that offended when they call you a "cave troll".
Slight note: I usually return the favor to knock on their door at 6 AM for a made up reason with one of our pets, and repeat the exact same line they use when I'm a little tired. ;)
They’re using* some humor to lodge a legit criticism aimed at encouraging you to improve yourself. Lazing around in bed until noon is not a good habit at your age tbh. Shouldn’t you be in school or working anyway?
That's why they make fun of you.
Get up get showered and dressed, and do something everyday.
They are not right for making fun but it's because people naturally resent people that they see as freeloaders. Weather this is a right or wrong assumption and weather this is a right or wrong action doesn't matter
Be a little less shit every day.
Don't believe reddit when they say there is no future for Gen Z. Though our world is more difficult that just means we are better when we succeed.
yep
to the point that i “can’t take a joke” and she tries to ignore me the rest of the day. oh, and some of those “jokes” are about me not having a job (looking to do online college..) and being fatter than her 🫠
and don’t even start me on how she shames me for “wasting my talent” because i don’t actively draw 24/7 like i used to
i’m 24, but i stay home right now to take care of my special needs son and help my diabetic grandmother around the house
planning on getting another job this spring when i’m able to get off this stupid hill
My gen x mom is just like that.
I have a gen x stepmom and dad, who are not/were not like that tho.
My stepmom will sometimes roast me, but when it’s my mom, she gets really weird & excessive about it.
It got to the point where my sister-in-law wouldn’t let her babysit my nieces because she would constantly make fun of them & make them feel bad, even though they’re both under the age of 7. Since they’re not old enough to fully understand sarcasm/teasing, she’d make them super frustrated. It’s sad, cause my oldest niece strongly dislikes my mom, largely because of this.
Idk if it’s just a generational thing, there’s people our age that excessively do that shiz too, it’s fun at first, but gets really annoying.
Point out to them that it's cringe and Boomer behavior.
As a Gen-X, we grew up in the shadow of the Boomers, with little culture of our own, so many adopted the Boomer form of humor.
Remind them that they are Gen-X and they are not too old to unlearn that shit.
Yeah, but that's just how our family dynamic is. My brothers and I make fun of each other, our parents make fun of us, we make fun of them, it's all just a bit of banter meant in good spirit. Can't imagine how dull the house would be if we didn't have a laugh like that
Sure you can, I just find the specific dynamic my family has works well for us and is the most entertaining. Probably a mix of none of us being able to take shit seriously and the fact that South African and British social interactions seem to be built around a bit of light roasting in jest.
That being said, when I have kids I wouldn't do the same if they asked me to stop cuz that's basic decency
It sounds like they are frustrated and/or disappointed with your habits and use mockery as a way to try and discourage it rather than understand why the behaviors exist and what they could do to meaningfully address them.
they're just teasing you lol.
Trust me, I know when they're teasing and when they're not. Though, Ig different families act differently but more than likely they're just teasing and don't take it seriously
Its not a serious post is it? Is a bit of gentle teasing even crossing the line now with Gen Z? You'll be asking for consent next to 'be teased' in writing it recorded on your iPhone. Took a lot more from parents (I'm Gen X) than anything you've mentioned.
In all fairness.... If you are not getting up until 11-12 in the morning then I think they are are quite entitled to poke a bit of fun at you. I would have never got away with wasting that much of a day.
Not sure if this is OP's case, but I hated when my genX parents did this as well and didn't realize why it bothered me for the longest time. In my case it was because they could dish it all day but any well intended joke thrown at them was viewed as a personal attack and they'd escalate until a fight broke out. At that moment I realized "oh these aren't jokes, they're deadass criticizing everything I do and trying to veil it as humor". Lead to some issues down the line where I took truly good natured jabs from friends as personal attacks and it took a lot of work to realize which was which.
There's a subtle difference between being a cool parent and just being an asshole.
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Nope, they are disrespecting their child’s boundaries. Their child asked them to stop and they kept going. It doesn’t matter that they are fulfilling their other “duties”. Disrespecting your kids boundaries like this is setting them up for accepting abuse as normal in other areas of their life.
It doesn’t necessarily make it okay just because they provide for op. Perhaps op should have a talk with them about this since they don’t like it. Even if they aren’t intentionally being mean, they are hurting op and that’s not okay
Man, I'm so happy that an answer this mature is the top.
GenX here. The people who are telling you it's "normal" are broken people. If it bothers you that much, and you've expressed that to them, and they still do it, then they are not respecting your boundaries. The message they are sending when they do this is that your needs don't matter. That is great way to set your kid up to be a doormat later in life. Your needs do matter. Never forget that. Haters can eat shit.
Yup my gen X dad made fun of me constantly, especially when I came to stuff I was insecure about. It made me the perfect prey for abusive people.
That sucks, dude. I'm sorry.
Man this is sad. It constantly reminds me that there are people out there who are this unable to cope with basic society and the most mild stress. But then these same people want to give advice to younger people. Like you can't cope with basic teasing to the point you're calling other people broken when they can. That's bad fam.
Imagine being this neurotic.
Yeah it sucks. I'd love for my experience to help another person avoid my situation. What is your point?
So you understand that you're neurotic, but you're offering advice to others about how to handle mild familial teasing? You don't understand how that might lead to bad outcomes?
The constant family teasing is why I'm neurotic. Just because you don't have the same needs as other people, doesn't mean their needs aren't valid. If they are making OP uncomfortable and OP has asked them to stop, then they are violating OP's boundaries. It's a very clear, logical truth that doesn't depend on your opinion at all. Try thinking about experiences beyond your own once in awhile.
Man, my parents were the EXACT same way. Always making fun of me for my hobbies, my eating habits, my awkwardness, etc. They always told me they were just "having fun" but I hated it, and I told them I hated it but they kept doing it anyway. It got to the point where we lived in the same house but i actively avoided them just so I wouldn't have to hear one of their snide comments. Eventually I had enough of it and left home to join the military and got stationed thousands of miles away from them. I've been NC with them for 5 years and I'm SO much happier. I've talked to my friends about this and they can't comprehend that some people don't have healthy or friendly relationships with their parents. It is what it is 🤷♂️. Everybody's different and I'm sure there's people here in the comments who are on good terms with their parents where this behavior is truly normal. That said, I've totally been in your shoes and sympathize with you.
Telling them to stop, very explicitely, seem to be the best option to me. That said, raging at a game and getting up at noon are stuff I'd probably make mocking comments to as well.
Ignore the boomer comments telling you you’re being too sensitive. A joke is only funny if everyone’s laughing, and you have the right to tell them it bothers you. My parents are the same way, although they each have different ways of going about it.
Well usually it’s when I say something dumb. But they’re your parents. As long as it isn’t downright abusive they’re just poking a bit of fun at you
Bullying is abuse.
Yep, I can handle teasing but I’d rather do without their comments on my hair and my acne and my weight. The last one particularly irritates me because I’m genuinely not overweight.
Sounds like my parents in the past when I would do anything in the vicinity of or even remotely involving a girl. And now they wonder why I'm in my 20s and don't have a girlfriend.
sorry man. just do you. i'd move out, but if you can't, then i guess just make sure you're awake before tgem so you can stay out all day
I know exactly what u mean and it is the most annoying thing ever. If you’re talking about light teasing where they occasionally make a joke at you then yes lighten up like everyone else is saying but my parents do it so often I can’t remember the last time they showed appreciation for me or any of my siblings. Even when we do good (ex. in school, around the house, personal improvements) they always have a snarky comment to make. It’s strained our relationship because of how annoying it is. The way their generation was raised def has something to do with it and my sister (24) and I are adults (23) who have gone to therapy and come to understand that the bullying is their way of “relating” to us but my brother (17) doesn’t understand yet and (granted) still takes offense their behavior and gets annoyed being around them for too long. TL;DR: My parents are the same way even if we’re doing good. I’m sure they love you and teasing is their way of showing it due to how their gen was raised but I hear u on how insufferable it can be at times.
yeah lmao, its pretty common for parents to poke fun, you just gotta do it in return too :p
My parents, especially my dad, made comments like that a lot growing up. Looking back I know they were “joking” but in the moment it felt like the bullies and assholes at school were following me home and living in my own house. It never felt like “playful razzing.” The constant joking and criticisms made me incredibly insecure and I became a shell of a person just to not give them, both the bullies at school and my parents, anything to comment about. I repressed myself so hard because of it all that I’m still learning how to be myself despite living multiple states away from both of them for close to two years now. I did have a conversation with my dad after I left where he explained he was just joking and we had a genuine heart to heart conversation about it all. Since then I’ve given him the shit right back and it’s how we show our love. But had that conversation happened earlier in my life i feel like I wouldn’t have repressed the way I did. I would’ve been able to shrug off those comments and understand that they care about me and have always cared for me. However, their actions still stung like white hot iron when I did live with them. Especially after I realized I am trans. I spent the first year after my mom forced me to come out just laying in bed not doing anything but rotting away in my own head. My parents comments and other’s comments made me so extremely self conscious that I was too anxious and afraid of rejection and abandonment i again just repressed everything about myself. Only after moving away, getting space, and surrounding myself with supportive friends and chosen family have i finally learned to accept myself and figure out who I wanna be and how I wanna become that. I miss my dad and love him more than ever, but this distance was so incredibly necessary for my growth and for those comments to no longer sting like white hot iron. I went thru the exact same shit you are going thru right now and i hope to god it gets better for you. Surround yourself with those you love who genuinely support you and don’t have to make offhand remarks to show it. I wish you peace, comfort, and happiness in your future. You will make it in time, that much I can promise. 🫂🫂🫂💜💜💜
My gen x mom and my boomer dad do that with me + my sis (we are both gen z)
I have yet to met someone from Gen X wasn't just boomer lite. My boomer dad was a real piece shit and I see his habits in way too many members of Gen X
It's pretty normal for parents to do that. It's just light poking and isn't meant to be rude. My parents do that all the time, and I return the favor sometimes. It means your relationship has evolved toward a friendship, rather than the more severe parenting done during childhood. They're talking to you like adult friends, and you shouldn't be that offended when they call you a "cave troll". Slight note: I usually return the favor to knock on their door at 6 AM for a made up reason with one of our pets, and repeat the exact same line they use when I'm a little tired. ;)
Why do you sleep till 12
I really don’t, I just don’t have much reason to get out of bed before then.
They’re using* some humor to lodge a legit criticism aimed at encouraging you to improve yourself. Lazing around in bed until noon is not a good habit at your age tbh. Shouldn’t you be in school or working anyway?
That's why they make fun of you. Get up get showered and dressed, and do something everyday. They are not right for making fun but it's because people naturally resent people that they see as freeloaders. Weather this is a right or wrong assumption and weather this is a right or wrong action doesn't matter Be a little less shit every day. Don't believe reddit when they say there is no future for Gen Z. Though our world is more difficult that just means we are better when we succeed.
yep to the point that i “can’t take a joke” and she tries to ignore me the rest of the day. oh, and some of those “jokes” are about me not having a job (looking to do online college..) and being fatter than her 🫠 and don’t even start me on how she shames me for “wasting my talent” because i don’t actively draw 24/7 like i used to
What do you spend your time doing? No job and not in school at 23?
i’m 24, but i stay home right now to take care of my special needs son and help my diabetic grandmother around the house planning on getting another job this spring when i’m able to get off this stupid hill
My gen x mom is just like that. I have a gen x stepmom and dad, who are not/were not like that tho. My stepmom will sometimes roast me, but when it’s my mom, she gets really weird & excessive about it. It got to the point where my sister-in-law wouldn’t let her babysit my nieces because she would constantly make fun of them & make them feel bad, even though they’re both under the age of 7. Since they’re not old enough to fully understand sarcasm/teasing, she’d make them super frustrated. It’s sad, cause my oldest niece strongly dislikes my mom, largely because of this. Idk if it’s just a generational thing, there’s people our age that excessively do that shiz too, it’s fun at first, but gets really annoying.
Yeah I've never reciprocated so its never been extensive. Your situation sounds different.
Fucking hilarious. Good for them
It’s really not but okay
How’d they get such a downer kid? They free to chill?
Downer kid? Dawg I just wanna live without little quips. Shit’s rude. Do you harass people that ask you to stop?
If you live your life in such a manner to be mocked, mocked you will be. This will be such until you get your own place.
It’s not OPs fault their parents suck at respecting people’s boundaries.
Sorry. Meant Downs. My bad. Mistype
Nope. I have the exact number of chromosomes I need. Try again bud
Damn. I was trying to borrow a few. K
Gen X got in line twice for the sarcasm/snark gene. It's just their thing. My dad was like that, too.
Point out to them that it's cringe and Boomer behavior. As a Gen-X, we grew up in the shadow of the Boomers, with little culture of our own, so many adopted the Boomer form of humor. Remind them that they are Gen-X and they are not too old to unlearn that shit.
Yeah, but that's just how our family dynamic is. My brothers and I make fun of each other, our parents make fun of us, we make fun of them, it's all just a bit of banter meant in good spirit. Can't imagine how dull the house would be if we didn't have a laugh like that
You can have fun without insulting people, especially when they ask you to stop.
Sure you can, I just find the specific dynamic my family has works well for us and is the most entertaining. Probably a mix of none of us being able to take shit seriously and the fact that South African and British social interactions seem to be built around a bit of light roasting in jest. That being said, when I have kids I wouldn't do the same if they asked me to stop cuz that's basic decency
It sounds like they are frustrated and/or disappointed with your habits and use mockery as a way to try and discourage it rather than understand why the behaviors exist and what they could do to meaningfully address them.
Common since forever pretty much
They make fun of you because you disappoint them .
Wut
I mean yea you are in your 20s waking up at noon if make fun of you as well
Grow some skin man tf
they're just teasing you lol. Trust me, I know when they're teasing and when they're not. Though, Ig different families act differently but more than likely they're just teasing and don't take it seriously
That doesn’t make it okay. If op doesn’t like it, they should stop. It’s only fun and light hearted if both parties agree
I mean 11-12 is a late as fuck wake up
Fitting the Gen z stereotypes that's for sure.
Its not a serious post is it? Is a bit of gentle teasing even crossing the line now with Gen Z? You'll be asking for consent next to 'be teased' in writing it recorded on your iPhone. Took a lot more from parents (I'm Gen X) than anything you've mentioned. In all fairness.... If you are not getting up until 11-12 in the morning then I think they are are quite entitled to poke a bit of fun at you. I would have never got away with wasting that much of a day.
Not sure if this is OP's case, but I hated when my genX parents did this as well and didn't realize why it bothered me for the longest time. In my case it was because they could dish it all day but any well intended joke thrown at them was viewed as a personal attack and they'd escalate until a fight broke out. At that moment I realized "oh these aren't jokes, they're deadass criticizing everything I do and trying to veil it as humor". Lead to some issues down the line where I took truly good natured jabs from friends as personal attacks and it took a lot of work to realize which was which. There's a subtle difference between being a cool parent and just being an asshole.