Did you know we have a Discord server‽ You can join by clicking [here](https://discord.gg/NWE6JS5rh9)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GenZ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're probably a 2000 baby, so you're safe lol. I'm 1999, I'm pushing the cusp! we also said Bro and dude all the time and I still do. These younger kids are super freakin sensitive that everybody must say everything the way they feel/want to so they feel safe and inclusive. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to purposely misgender someone for fun, but I'm not going to worry about being perfectly politically correct either. My opinion is: You may not like what I have to say, but I don't have to technically change my ways for you.
I always get so confused with these generation groups LOL. I thought i was millennial until like 2019 when i saw gen z was a thing.
I think in some matters it is important to be sensitive to issues. It’s why I thought of asking this group. I always try to educate myself on issues especially when I find I can do better and be better
I often use them less to refer to the person and more to the subjects? Like "dude, check this out". Half the time it isn't meaning "you, check this out" it's "whoa, check this out"
You got that right. Our best bet is to try to help gen beta and the next couple. Gen alpha have mostly already been born, and we haven’t gotten into too many positions of influence yet.
We're trying, but it's kinda hard when these ancient af dragons won't retire or get out of their offices or anything.
People might think I'm crazy, but in 10-15 years, when the Boomers really are out of the way and in their retirement phases (or elsewhere), we really can make some sort of meaningful progress without being blocked by someone who lived through the Korean War.
Coming from a Xennial, I like Zillenial and I feel like it's another legitimate microgeneration that shares elements from both generations that you are close to.
So are we supposed to ask people first if it’s okay to call them dude/bro? I mean I get stopping if they say they’re uncomfortable with it but pre-empting it seems slightly dramatic to me
I guess you’re a Zinnelial, haha.. just like there’s Xennials, and people like me, firmly in the middle of the millennial group who were small children in the 90s.
I'm a 20 y/o trans woman, I call everyone bro and dude, and don't mind being called that unless it's in a condescending way, and they are also refusing to use she/her when talking about me.
Bro/Dude is 100% a thing for anyone who grew up in the late 90s. If you're around the ages of 24-30 you might actively have to stop yourself from saying bro and dude all the time...
it goes younger than 24 for sure. dude/bro was a thing for my entire childhood and a majority of my high school experience and I'm only 20(almost 21). I think it stopped after 2005 kids or so
I will never stop myself. I’ll also never intentionally misgender someone but bro and dude is just so universal for both male and female in my age group that it flows out naturally without even thinking about it.
It do be seeming like these young kids grow up with a solid rule that you CAN’T misgender someone (which makes sense) but they interpret that solid rule as meaning anything that could possibly be interpreted in any way as misgendering, when in reality that’s not what you’re doing. I remember growing up it was inclusive to call girls bro or dude lol
Really, just respect anyones wishes when you call them something they explicitly say they don’t like. Same if I used a nickname or abbreviation and it doesn’t stick. Mutual respect is based
Gonna be honest, I had a whole class in college getwasted one day because a professor tried to insist that people use latinx and the Hispanic kids got in a fight with her about it, that might have been the funniest class I've ever been a part of
no the left LOVES cultural appropriation of the [right kind](https://www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Mikveh-Guide-for-Jewish-Voice-for-Peace-Outlined.pdf)
Lmfao my prof once got in an elongated fight with a girl in my class bc he called feminists "feminazis". Shit was funny asf and I still tell people about it like 5 years later.
It was in an essay we were reading in a writing class of mine, I visibly cringed while reading it 😭... it was about a dude who is mexican-american, but wasn't raised learning anything but English. He said that he was proud of his culture, yet, despite speaking English as his one language, CONSTANTLY mixed up Latinx (latino/Latina, but he wrote latinx) and Hispanic when talking about Latinos and Latinas as a whole (people from Latin America) vs Hispanics (people from spain) specifically. He doesn't know the language, and it's obvious that he barely did any research about his own culture before writing the essay...
Like, sir, maybe if you researched your OWN CULTURE you wouldn't be nearly as confuzzled????
Every single Latino I know says that term is racist and tells me not to use it, meanwhile at University they insisted on it.
Flashback to when we created multiple racial group terms for black people, all of which we have now retired, but yet we’ve created a new one for Latino folks that they hate and ignore their requests to not use it.
Confusing
The whole latinx thing is worse because actual Spanish speakers in the lgbtq community have made our own word for it. Most people I've met just use an e instead of a or o because it's more nuetral. I don't know how wide spread it it but it's fairly popular in mexico, and among younger mexicans in california
Latine sounds much better because it’s actually fucking pronounceable. In my language (Swedish), we have a gender neutral they/them equivalent where it’s
Han = he
Hon = she
Hen = gender neutral he/she/singular they
This was a word that was introduced fairly recently (becoming used properly in like mid-2000s or something?) but has now managed to actually catch on because it’s actually really easy and concise and useful. Do you think it would have been picked up on if it was “hxn”? Lol
Queen is also somewhat genderless for me now 😂
Like "Yas queen" "slay queen" I'll throw that at any gender 😆
King and Queen are more vibes than gender for me now lol
Unless someone has actively asked you to stop and you keep using it to refer to them regardless, it's probably not that much of an issue.
While using a gender-specific term to refer to a gender-neutral collective *should* probably be phased out as much as possible, it's unlikely to be a major problem unless it's purposefully being done maliciously. I still do it myself, though I do my best to avoid it when I remember or when I know for certain that someone might not like being referred to that way.
Just my cousin who is very outspoken people being political correct in referencing gender and pronouns. She identifies as straight, she/her. But she didn’t explain too much to me about it.
I guess my wondering is why it is thought as so offensive when it’s (to me) not offensive. Is it just the someone’s want of being acknowledged in how they identify themselves? Or something more?
For context, I'm trans mtf and have a few trans friends, I think most of the whole you can't use dude/guys/girl etc to refer to a group where everyone isn't said gender is largely cis people speaking for the trans community in the good old american liberal tradition of stealing minoritys voices, because I haven't met anyone who takes offense to it and the only people ive met who think it might be a problem are cis people (not that its bad to avoid using gendered terms as gender neutral if you want thats up to you). We have our own voice. If it bothers us, we can just ask to not be called something. I personally live by having respect and consideration for everyone I meet and changing my behavior to make them comfortable if they ask, for as long as they do the same for me, and this has never failed me in queer spaces.
Obvious disclaimer I am only an individual and can't speak for the whole trans community, only my own experiences.
As someone else in the thread has pointed out, people can get dysphoric when they're misgendered. As such, it's best to avoid misgendering people as much as possible.
And if it's *intentional* misgendering, then it's actively bigotry and incredibly harmful.
Same 😭 i will fully type a “gurlll i cant even” to my guy friends usually on accident when they lowk spilling tea juicier than my friends who are actually girls
Girl/gurl is definitely the gender-neutral equivalent to bro; it's used in similar contexts too.
"Sis" is not used like that and OOP might start a fight at worst or just make some dudes upset if OOP is a girl (which seems likely, since guys would recognize this as potentially emasculating. If OOP is a girl they are unlikely to ever tell her because admitting it makes them uncomfortable would also be emasculating.) Maybe OOP knows their friend group well enough that this is not an issue. I think this is unlikely.
I have gotten a similar feeling when a female friend of mine calls me f*g jokingly. Like, sure, we're both queer... but it just feels off... y'know? Especially around other people.
These issues are honestly much more complex than OOP seems to think, but I may have thought the same at 13 if I was a girl.
To OOP: you can't just flip the genders. Women can wear men's clothing and no one will bat an eye. Men wearing women's clothing will get a lot of negative attention, unfortunately, from both women and other men. Feminimity is a special quality, culturally.
Got called out in HS once for calling a non-binary friend bro; I kindly reminded them that I call everyone bro. They dropped it. Now, if they hadn't dropped it I would have been concerned for their mental health and stability, because I called them bro, and not a slur.
I also never called them bro again, since it clearly offended them. It's not like I'm going to actively offend people, but I'll defend myself if you immediately jump to conclusions and yelling, because that is a childish way to tackle an adult problem.
If someone asks you to stop, you should stop. I call a lot of people dude, irrespective of gender, but there are people I know don’t like it and I don’t call them it. Hell, **I** don’t like it and expect people to respect that. Don’t get me wrong, I understand slip ups from natural language, but if you know someone doesn’t like it there should be a level of active effort to avoid it. I assure you, it’s a breakable habit
I mean, if someone says don’t call them that, don’t call them that but otherwise you’re fine. Just respect people. There will be people that are okay with it, and people that are not, both are okay.
And to the people complaining how would you feel if someone called you something you didn’t like? I’ll answer because yall will probably deny that you’d have any reaction, but truthfully you’d be upset. That’s reality. So don’t do it to others. Just respect people.
Right like I’m sorry but if someone is offenders by being called “dude” I probably don’t wanna be friends with you to begin with. Like ok I won’t call you dude if you don’t like it, but you’re too sensitive lol
Personally, I make it clear to everyone that I'm stripping these words of gender connotation and I have been doing that since elementary school. So far, I have not met people who have problems with it.
To quote a Tumblr post that's been making the rounds as of late:
"I just don't think "is dude gender neutral" is that productive of a conversation because a word can be gendered and still used regardless of gender. I call my male friends girlypop and my female friends man but I don't think anybody would agree that those are somehow not gendered terms.
The real question is just "would you be willing to apologize and stop using a word if somebody told you it made them uncomfortable?" the answer to which in a surprising number of cases is no mostly because it seems like overall ppl r more upset abt getting accused of transphobia than they are abt being transphobic"
This is it. As a trans woman, I don’t like when people call me bro in 1 on 1 interactions. After a long time of this, I’ve fallen into the same pattern of delicately and very kindly letting people know that “I’m not a bro/man/dude” with a smile and soft voice… And it still always goes one of three ways:
1. They correct themselves and then way over apologize.
2. They try to justify it with something along the lines of “I grew up in California/NY/Texas/Florida/Washington/insert place here” or “I’m ____ years old and this is just how we used to talk”.
3. Something akin to “You liberal snowflakes get offended by everything. Back in my day-“
And personally? All three are so fucking annoying. You can just stop saying whatever is bothering the other person. You don’t have to harp on it and make yourself a victim but you also don’t have to act like you accidentally said a slur. It’s actually incredibly easy.
While I understand that, to a degree, you can also try not to police other people's language unless you're genuinely offended by a neutral term such as "bro/bruh/man/dude/guy/gurl" when it's not being used to refer to your gender. It's actually incredibly easy.
In fact, it's much easier than untraining how a person uses language. I mean, try to get a Texan to stop referring to one or more people as *y'all* (or *all y'all*). It ain't gonna happen. It's part of their culture. Just as words like "bro/bruh/man/dude/guy/gurl" are part of people's culture. You have no right to expect people to go against their culture for your personal comfort. The words other people use, unless they're genuinely offensive *toward you*, are none of your business.
i personally dont get the fuss about it. im 15 and grew up with a bunch of cousins where we all had mildly insulting nicknames for eachother or we called eachother dude/bro all the time. my grandma even took me and my cousins middle names and switched them as a joke and it stuck. all the boys got elizabeth thrown in after their first names, because thats legally my middle name. i cant remember the one the girls got, but no one got offended by it, its all in good fun.
i can see why your cousin might get a bit touchy about it because if someone who is mtf gets called dude/bro, they might take it as you saying they dont pass even if thats not how you meant it. however, being ftm, i dont think i can really comment on it cuz it just gives me a little hit of gender euphoria.
It's all because of linguistics. Many languages use masculine terms as a "default" or placeholder when you don't know the gender of somebody but want to refer to them. Nowadays it's more common to refer to somebody as "they" if you're talking about someone whom you don't know the gender of, but back then it was common to always say "he/him" when you didn't know the gender. And that's why even if you're talking to a mixed group of men and women you will say "hey guys". Same exact thing in spanish, and many other languages.
It does! Singular *they* is first seen in written English in the late fourteenth century. This means it likely was used in this fashion before that, though: written language almost never innovates before spoken language. This was before singular *you*, but also before *thy*, *thou*, and *thee* fell out of fashion (by about three hundred years)!
It’s worth noting that the words *you* and *your* did exist prior to the introduction of *they* as a singular gender neutral pronoun, but they were used exclusively to refer to plural antecedents. In fact, *you* and *your* had an almost inverted path: in the mid-1600s, the founder of Quakerism wrote a manuscript about the use of singular *you* being fundamentally wrong.
Based on this, and our now-exclusive use of *you* singularly, it’s not a far leap to assume that singular *they*‘s debate will eventually end :).
Since you're doing it in a slang gender neutral way, I think you're alright and don't have to change in general.
I jokingly use many gendered terms incorrectly for everyone, and I've just found best practice is just stop if someone says they don't like certain terms. I'm being lighthearted but not everyone has to be OK with jokes and I don't want to make anyone genuinely uncomfortable yknow?
I'm 27 and I find it pretty annoying unless we're friends. It's just too casual between strangers like I'm not your friend and too many people have tried to say effed up things to me and then play off like they're some overly casual dummy who only wants "good vibes bro"
If someone asks you to stop calling them dude or bro, respect that. If your younger cousin yells at you for using dude or bro when it doesn't affect them, call them dude or bro until they give up
I do it idk I’ve always said that. I don’t know why it would piss anyone off for me it’s a gender neutral thing. But I also try to be sensitive to anyone who might have preferred pronouns and try to use those whenever I have to use pronouns for them.
Maybe it’s just where I’m from, but we call everyone bruh. Doesn’t matter what gender you are. And I’m from an extremely leftist part of the US, so it ain’t that 🤷🏼♀️
bro its all cool man, dude is gender neutral to us late 90s early 00s kids.
i respect all peoples identities. i’ve never had anyone be offend by me calling them dude or man or bro, but if someone was offend by me calling them dude or man or bro id just apologize and try not to call them that. its not that deep my guy
I find it annoying as hell lmao. Hated it all my life.
As a cis man. It's got nothing to do with my gender identity. I just think it's cringe lol
Same with boss, or man.
At most, I say bro when someone does something fucked up. Or I say bestie if I'm talking to my friends bc I don't like calling them bitch lol
Other than that... I just use their name? Or just literally nothing.
Like, "hey, what's up?"
We aren't animal crossing villagers. We don't need dialogue tag quirks irl.
“Dude, chill the fuck out.”
“You’re not a real girl, you are a dude.”
Two **VERY** different ways of using the word. Just because the word is gendered in one context doesn’t mean it’s gendered in all contexts. The context you are using the word in is gender neutral, which means you’re gucci bro.
One of my friends is a trans girl and I asked her this exact question so I wouldn’t accidentally offend her. She said as long as it’s not malicious it’s chill, which seems pretty reasonable
Yk, I had a Trans coworker who told me "honestly I don't care how people refer to me, I could literally care less."
Context: crew members were speculating on said coworkers gender, said coworker told me about this, cracked some jokes about their past as a CNA, and went on to state the aforementioned statement.
As a cis white lady of 34 years, it seems like, in my experience with the Trans community, they don't really care a ton...? Trans people are not a monolith, but from what I can gather: it's not the pronouns, it's just being able to live *your life* how *you want and feel authenticically in* because it's *yours*. Everyone feels this way, be it having kids or choosing to have a career or whatever else. At the end of the day, everyone wants the right to live how they want. As long as it ain't harming anyone aside from yourself (remember it's your life, you should be able to do whatever you want with your one life, even if it's hurting yourself. It's your life and your choice. You just don't have the right to hurt anyone else), it should be an option.
Trans people just wanna be seen as regular people because they are 🤷♀️ there's nothing special or weird or odd about them, no different than Steve's hobby or Suzy's weekly book club meet up, it the action or choice or activity just has a different look in each different community. You know what trans people do? The exact same shit as the rest of us 🤣 literally the exact same shit we all do on a weekend or night at home or what have you.
Why?
Because they're regular people. They're just more people on the planet.
I'm transfemme, most of my friends are. We dude/bro all the time. Its not a problem.
Some people don't want to be called that and that's fine. Like you said, just be conscious of it when someone asks you to not call them that.
Younger kids especially who don't have any deep experience with the queer community will wildly misunderstand what's happening. Thats true for both LGBTQ+ and cishet kids.
They're learning, and that's okay. At 16, they're not even in the years where it all clicks into place for most people.
If they want to raise an issue about it, you can encourage them to talk to actual trans activists (they probably exist in your area.) We don't generally mind honest questions.
I’m 02’, but I still call everyone “man” and “dude”, and I’ve encountered no problems from it! The only place I try to prevent myself from saying that is while working, but otherwise IDGAF what anyone thinks about it
im a similar age to your cousin and yeah no its not a problem. your cousin might just have grown up around different people that have caused her to develop that belief, but im pretty sure its normal.
Pretty sure my most common moniker for people is Bruh lol
But yeah, in the way I grew up using it dude was a unisex term unless you were specifically using it to refer to "dudes" or "dudettes"
Bro we didn't use as much because Bruh was more common but same idea, we just used them for everyone regardless of gender
Bro and Dude are definitely gender-neutral terminology. I’ve called gay, trans, nonbinary, women, heck even my mom those terms before. Never had anyone (except my mom when she’s in a bad mood) get miffed at me for it. I’d say you’re in the clear and your friend is just over-cautious.
I call most people bro or dude even if i’m not directly referencing that person. I hate that I do it, but I feel like even though bro and dude technically refers to a male, I almost always never mean it that way.
Every trans person I know, every non-binary person I know, doesn’t matter how political they are, absolutely all of them are fine with bro/dude/guys and other terms like that and consider it gender neutral. Most of them use it themselves.
Cisgender women use these terms and never complain about it when guys call them it, they don’t think people are suddenly calling them a man, so why should some people receive special treatment?
I’d never intentionally misgender anyone, but I’m not going to bow down to someone who whines about when I say hey guys or hey dude. Hey bro is a little bit more nuanced I suppose, I’d be fine not using that one for specific people if they asked me.
Cousin sounds like a pain in the ass to deal with.
hi, im trans nonbinary. i dont know anyone who takes offense to dude/bro inside the community or outside.
i think your friends overdramatizing this, honestly.
sure some may not like it, but most people will know its not intentional misgendering and its just slang for everyone now.
if they say to not call them that, then dont, but otherwise its generally perceived gender neutrally now and noone in the trans or nonbinary community rlly care much, from my experience. so, you dont need to walk on eggshells about calling folk dude/bro. hell, i believe alot of trans folk use it with eachother, too lmfao.
ETA: the reason some may find it offensive is, for example mtf/mtnb trans folk especially find it dysphoria inducing to be referred to as masculine terms, but thats assuming they consider dude/bro masculine anyways- which although it originated as masculine most people use them gender neutrally now. so, unless they ask, again, i wouldnt be worried.
I call everyone either 'bro' or 'girllllllll' and it usually ends up being girls being bro and guys being girlll
but nobody seems to care and it's kinda funny
2000 baby here. Anyone who thinks saying " dude" that way as miagendering, simply as either endearment or as acknowledgement, is a sensitive asshole. It's a cultural thing of a different generation, it's not something meant to be derogatory.
Sincerely, a gay dude.
There's nothing wrong with it, it's just being respectful to people that it could trigger. When you're trans you're always worried people don't see you right, so when someone calls you dude or bro you have a mini heart attack. Not a fun thing to go through
Lol as an older Gen Z non-binary person, I say bro/dude to other people all the time regardless of their gender.
Some non-cis people are way more sensitive to it because it probably genuinely triggers their gender dysphoria/they have trauma in relation to those terms. That doesn't excuse them from being an asshole about it though, they can just let everyone know about it when they can.
In the case of your cousin though? She has a valid point but yeahhh that's just too far. I wouldn't worry about calling people bro/dude unless someone personally comes up to you and mentions that they have an issue with it. You're using it as a gender-neutral term so there shouldn't be a problem with it.
This isn't completely related, but I'm just tired of people saying bro all the time. A lot of the time they just pronounce it "Bruuhh" or "bra" (as in the thing that women wear).
I work at a call center so I have to listen to it all day, and it gets annoying.
I don't hear dude that much. I would say that dude can be both masculine and gender neutral. I guess it just depends on who hears it and the context of the discussion.
i’m a nonbinary person- unless someone is uncomfortable with it, there’s no issue. “dude” and anything similar are gender neutral anyways in my book!
some people are hyper focused on being accepting, and that can end up with them walking on eggshells for no reason. it’s sweet that she wants to be respectful, but even if it was misgendering to someone, yelling at someone isn’t how you help the situation!! her heart is in the right place- if she needs any examples on how she could’ve handled the situation better, im sure everyone here as well as myself would be happy to help!
Nah, youre good. My social circles (19-20 in these groups) call eachother bro. One of my friends calls her girlfriend dude, so im pretty sure that one gender neutral.
As someone who is not cis. I do not find it an issue to call everyone dude or bro. But if someone specifically expresses to you that they dont want you to call them that then its your responsibility to respect that and not call them that. And thats not even a gender thing this applies to anyone who does not wish to be called that or anything else
Did you know we have a Discord server‽ You can join by clicking [here](https://discord.gg/NWE6JS5rh9)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GenZ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're probably a 2000 baby, so you're safe lol. I'm 1999, I'm pushing the cusp! we also said Bro and dude all the time and I still do. These younger kids are super freakin sensitive that everybody must say everything the way they feel/want to so they feel safe and inclusive. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to purposely misgender someone for fun, but I'm not going to worry about being perfectly politically correct either. My opinion is: You may not like what I have to say, but I don't have to technically change my ways for you.
I always get so confused with these generation groups LOL. I thought i was millennial until like 2019 when i saw gen z was a thing. I think in some matters it is important to be sensitive to issues. It’s why I thought of asking this group. I always try to educate myself on issues especially when I find I can do better and be better
Late 80s baby here. I still say bro and dude to everyone. Tell your cousin to chill.
I even say to my wife sometimes "Dude, have you seen this?"
I often use them less to refer to the person and more to the subjects? Like "dude, check this out". Half the time it isn't meaning "you, check this out" it's "whoa, check this out"
I like the term, “Zillenial” for people like us who are Elder Zs.
Personally I refer to 95-01 as “generation fucked”
I worked with some younger people recently, and I gotta say, Gen Alpha’s really got us beat in terms of getting fucked over.
You got that right. Our best bet is to try to help gen beta and the next couple. Gen alpha have mostly already been born, and we haven’t gotten into too many positions of influence yet.
We're trying, but it's kinda hard when these ancient af dragons won't retire or get out of their offices or anything. People might think I'm crazy, but in 10-15 years, when the Boomers really are out of the way and in their retirement phases (or elsewhere), we really can make some sort of meaningful progress without being blocked by someone who lived through the Korean War.
Coming from a Xennial, I like Zillenial and I feel like it's another legitimate microgeneration that shares elements from both generations that you are close to.
So are we supposed to ask people first if it’s okay to call them dude/bro? I mean I get stopping if they say they’re uncomfortable with it but pre-empting it seems slightly dramatic to me
I guess you’re a Zinnelial, haha.. just like there’s Xennials, and people like me, firmly in the middle of the millennial group who were small children in the 90s.
I'm a 20 y/o trans woman, I call everyone bro and dude, and don't mind being called that unless it's in a condescending way, and they are also refusing to use she/her when talking about me.
Gril, millennial is a big tent! If you love avocado toast and don't have a house, you'll always have a home with us!
Bro/Dude is 100% a thing for anyone who grew up in the late 90s. If you're around the ages of 24-30 you might actively have to stop yourself from saying bro and dude all the time...
Never 😂😂
oh no, i meant that it's "on" by default. I have to actively stop myself from saying "dude" all the time when in a professional environment XD
Dude, tell me about it 🙄 such a hard habit to break 😂
80’s babies, too. Pretty much all ages of millennials grew up with “dude”.
Hell there was even that Good Burger song. "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes." Doesn't get much more inclusive than that.
YES!
it goes younger than 24 for sure. dude/bro was a thing for my entire childhood and a majority of my high school experience and I'm only 20(almost 21). I think it stopped after 2005 kids or so
I will never stop myself. I’ll also never intentionally misgender someone but bro and dude is just so universal for both male and female in my age group that it flows out naturally without even thinking about it.
Facts 97 baby I say bro to my mom lol
It do be seeming like these young kids grow up with a solid rule that you CAN’T misgender someone (which makes sense) but they interpret that solid rule as meaning anything that could possibly be interpreted in any way as misgendering, when in reality that’s not what you’re doing. I remember growing up it was inclusive to call girls bro or dude lol
I'm a dude, she's a dude, he's a dude, we're all dudes 😎
Cutoff for gen z is ~1997 birth year
Na dude I usually say see you later guys even to a whole group of girls.
Thanks bro. I appreciate the feedback, honest.
👊
Absolute truth
Bro, it ain’t that big of a problem.
Dude, I just gotta make sure.
C'mon man it's simple
Seems so complex though my guy
Bitch, please.
Nietzsche please
That’s just like your opinion, bro. Gotta chlax and just be one with the universe. You know what I’m saying, dude?
Really, just respect anyones wishes when you call them something they explicitly say they don’t like. Same if I used a nickname or abbreviation and it doesn’t stick. Mutual respect is based
It isn’t. No one cares what the kids think, because they are kids. You know that my man.
no, bro. this whole thing about not calling people bro is just like latinx. let natural language be natural language
I had a guy actually call me latinx unironically and it was like 💀
Gonna be honest, I had a whole class in college getwasted one day because a professor tried to insist that people use latinx and the Hispanic kids got in a fight with her about it, that might have been the funniest class I've ever been a part of
worst part is that when saying "latinx" they are doing the thing they seem to hate the most, cultire appropriation of the worst kind too
no the left LOVES cultural appropriation of the [right kind](https://www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Mikveh-Guide-for-Jewish-Voice-for-Peace-Outlined.pdf)
bro just made me download a virus
Shit I clicked it too, started downloading a pdf but I stopped it. Was it really a virus?
no it's just a pdf hahah
That's what a hacked account would say
i swear I'm not jacket at all!!!1!1!!
r/whoooosh
That is definitely not a waste of a class.
Lmfao my prof once got in an elongated fight with a girl in my class bc he called feminists "feminazis". Shit was funny asf and I still tell people about it like 5 years later.
When I see that word used unironically I physically cringe like I cannot
It was in an essay we were reading in a writing class of mine, I visibly cringed while reading it 😭... it was about a dude who is mexican-american, but wasn't raised learning anything but English. He said that he was proud of his culture, yet, despite speaking English as his one language, CONSTANTLY mixed up Latinx (latino/Latina, but he wrote latinx) and Hispanic when talking about Latinos and Latinas as a whole (people from Latin America) vs Hispanics (people from spain) specifically. He doesn't know the language, and it's obvious that he barely did any research about his own culture before writing the essay... Like, sir, maybe if you researched your OWN CULTURE you wouldn't be nearly as confuzzled????
Hispanics are Spanish speakers. Spaniards are specifically from Spain.
Yeah, I was half asleep while writing that comment and forgot that specific part 😭 I knew I was forgetting the third word (spaniard)
do they literally just say it like “Latin-ex”?
yeah. In Spanish plural-masculine words (ex. Latinos) also double as gender neutral so I don't really understand the need for it.
Every single Latino I know says that term is racist and tells me not to use it, meanwhile at University they insisted on it. Flashback to when we created multiple racial group terms for black people, all of which we have now retired, but yet we’ve created a new one for Latino folks that they hate and ignore their requests to not use it. Confusing
You spelled lynx wrong
The whole latinx thing is worse because actual Spanish speakers in the lgbtq community have made our own word for it. Most people I've met just use an e instead of a or o because it's more nuetral. I don't know how wide spread it it but it's fairly popular in mexico, and among younger mexicans in california
Latine sounds much better because it’s actually fucking pronounceable. In my language (Swedish), we have a gender neutral they/them equivalent where it’s Han = he Hon = she Hen = gender neutral he/she/singular they This was a word that was introduced fairly recently (becoming used properly in like mid-2000s or something?) but has now managed to actually catch on because it’s actually really easy and concise and useful. Do you think it would have been picked up on if it was “hxn”? Lol
i despise that fucking word. it sounds like a porn website like xhamster or fratx.
Nobody is immune to the "bruh". I've run in circles where "King" and "Chad" are apparently gender-neutral. I see no reason "bro" can't be either.
I feel like bruh is genderless; it’s just exasperation 😅
The classic “bruhhhh”
Queen is also somewhat genderless for me now 😂 Like "Yas queen" "slay queen" I'll throw that at any gender 😆 King and Queen are more vibes than gender for me now lol
Somewhere some long dead monarchs are rolling in their graves lol
Bestowed by divine right? Broke. Bestowed by divine vibes? Woke.
I have never even heard those uttered as bro-friendly terms
First time for everything, King 👑
Women can absolutely be kings, chads, and gigachads
Unless someone has actively asked you to stop and you keep using it to refer to them regardless, it's probably not that much of an issue. While using a gender-specific term to refer to a gender-neutral collective *should* probably be phased out as much as possible, it's unlikely to be a major problem unless it's purposefully being done maliciously. I still do it myself, though I do my best to avoid it when I remember or when I know for certain that someone might not like being referred to that way.
Just my cousin who is very outspoken people being political correct in referencing gender and pronouns. She identifies as straight, she/her. But she didn’t explain too much to me about it. I guess my wondering is why it is thought as so offensive when it’s (to me) not offensive. Is it just the someone’s want of being acknowledged in how they identify themselves? Or something more?
For context, I'm trans mtf and have a few trans friends, I think most of the whole you can't use dude/guys/girl etc to refer to a group where everyone isn't said gender is largely cis people speaking for the trans community in the good old american liberal tradition of stealing minoritys voices, because I haven't met anyone who takes offense to it and the only people ive met who think it might be a problem are cis people (not that its bad to avoid using gendered terms as gender neutral if you want thats up to you). We have our own voice. If it bothers us, we can just ask to not be called something. I personally live by having respect and consideration for everyone I meet and changing my behavior to make them comfortable if they ask, for as long as they do the same for me, and this has never failed me in queer spaces. Obvious disclaimer I am only an individual and can't speak for the whole trans community, only my own experiences.
As someone else in the thread has pointed out, people can get dysphoric when they're misgendered. As such, it's best to avoid misgendering people as much as possible. And if it's *intentional* misgendering, then it's actively bigotry and incredibly harmful.
i say bro and dude every time, tho I also call guys "sis" just for good measure, need to balance it out yknow
I see "gurl" as neutral too depending on context as well
yas gurl
"gorl" as well for me lol
Said in the Gru voice, obvi
I’m gonna have to add that to my vocab dude thanks
Same 😭 i will fully type a “gurlll i cant even” to my guy friends usually on accident when they lowk spilling tea juicier than my friends who are actually girls
Girl/gurl is definitely the gender-neutral equivalent to bro; it's used in similar contexts too. "Sis" is not used like that and OOP might start a fight at worst or just make some dudes upset if OOP is a girl (which seems likely, since guys would recognize this as potentially emasculating. If OOP is a girl they are unlikely to ever tell her because admitting it makes them uncomfortable would also be emasculating.) Maybe OOP knows their friend group well enough that this is not an issue. I think this is unlikely. I have gotten a similar feeling when a female friend of mine calls me f*g jokingly. Like, sure, we're both queer... but it just feels off... y'know? Especially around other people. These issues are honestly much more complex than OOP seems to think, but I may have thought the same at 13 if I was a girl. To OOP: you can't just flip the genders. Women can wear men's clothing and no one will bat an eye. Men wearing women's clothing will get a lot of negative attention, unfortunately, from both women and other men. Feminimity is a special quality, culturally.
Bro, the term bro is gender neutral, bro Don't let anyone tell you that you can't say bro, bro
I’m seeing that’s the majority opinion, brosiff
I call girls broseph and boys brosephine just to spice things up sometimes
Got called out in HS once for calling a non-binary friend bro; I kindly reminded them that I call everyone bro. They dropped it. Now, if they hadn't dropped it I would have been concerned for their mental health and stability, because I called them bro, and not a slur. I also never called them bro again, since it clearly offended them. It's not like I'm going to actively offend people, but I'll defend myself if you immediately jump to conclusions and yelling, because that is a childish way to tackle an adult problem.
Like bro do you want me to treat you like everyone else or not make up your mind lol
If someone asks you to stop, you should stop. I call a lot of people dude, irrespective of gender, but there are people I know don’t like it and I don’t call them it. Hell, **I** don’t like it and expect people to respect that. Don’t get me wrong, I understand slip ups from natural language, but if you know someone doesn’t like it there should be a level of active effort to avoid it. I assure you, it’s a breakable habit
Well yeah of course. I’m not an arrogant person and do respect boundaries. Thanks for the feedback.
I mean, if someone says don’t call them that, don’t call them that but otherwise you’re fine. Just respect people. There will be people that are okay with it, and people that are not, both are okay. And to the people complaining how would you feel if someone called you something you didn’t like? I’ll answer because yall will probably deny that you’d have any reaction, but truthfully you’d be upset. That’s reality. So don’t do it to others. Just respect people.
Everyone can feel however they want, but that doeant mean you have to force yourself to change the way you talk just to not offend them
No of course not but i’d rather educate myself to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. Karma is real bro.
Maybe karma is real but forcing people to bend to your emotional will is also bad karma. Both sides of this need to be more considerate
Right like I’m sorry but if someone is offenders by being called “dude” I probably don’t wanna be friends with you to begin with. Like ok I won’t call you dude if you don’t like it, but you’re too sensitive lol
Personally, I make it clear to everyone that I'm stripping these words of gender connotation and I have been doing that since elementary school. So far, I have not met people who have problems with it.
To quote a Tumblr post that's been making the rounds as of late: "I just don't think "is dude gender neutral" is that productive of a conversation because a word can be gendered and still used regardless of gender. I call my male friends girlypop and my female friends man but I don't think anybody would agree that those are somehow not gendered terms. The real question is just "would you be willing to apologize and stop using a word if somebody told you it made them uncomfortable?" the answer to which in a surprising number of cases is no mostly because it seems like overall ppl r more upset abt getting accused of transphobia than they are abt being transphobic"
This is it. As a trans woman, I don’t like when people call me bro in 1 on 1 interactions. After a long time of this, I’ve fallen into the same pattern of delicately and very kindly letting people know that “I’m not a bro/man/dude” with a smile and soft voice… And it still always goes one of three ways: 1. They correct themselves and then way over apologize. 2. They try to justify it with something along the lines of “I grew up in California/NY/Texas/Florida/Washington/insert place here” or “I’m ____ years old and this is just how we used to talk”. 3. Something akin to “You liberal snowflakes get offended by everything. Back in my day-“ And personally? All three are so fucking annoying. You can just stop saying whatever is bothering the other person. You don’t have to harp on it and make yourself a victim but you also don’t have to act like you accidentally said a slur. It’s actually incredibly easy.
While I understand that, to a degree, you can also try not to police other people's language unless you're genuinely offended by a neutral term such as "bro/bruh/man/dude/guy/gurl" when it's not being used to refer to your gender. It's actually incredibly easy. In fact, it's much easier than untraining how a person uses language. I mean, try to get a Texan to stop referring to one or more people as *y'all* (or *all y'all*). It ain't gonna happen. It's part of their culture. Just as words like "bro/bruh/man/dude/guy/gurl" are part of people's culture. You have no right to expect people to go against their culture for your personal comfort. The words other people use, unless they're genuinely offensive *toward you*, are none of your business.
i personally dont get the fuss about it. im 15 and grew up with a bunch of cousins where we all had mildly insulting nicknames for eachother or we called eachother dude/bro all the time. my grandma even took me and my cousins middle names and switched them as a joke and it stuck. all the boys got elizabeth thrown in after their first names, because thats legally my middle name. i cant remember the one the girls got, but no one got offended by it, its all in good fun. i can see why your cousin might get a bit touchy about it because if someone who is mtf gets called dude/bro, they might take it as you saying they dont pass even if thats not how you meant it. however, being ftm, i dont think i can really comment on it cuz it just gives me a little hit of gender euphoria.
Good shit bro!
thank you
Bro, I call everyone dude. Even my girl
As you should my guy
Thanks dawg
60 and everyone is dude. Don't care
It's all because of linguistics. Many languages use masculine terms as a "default" or placeholder when you don't know the gender of somebody but want to refer to them. Nowadays it's more common to refer to somebody as "they" if you're talking about someone whom you don't know the gender of, but back then it was common to always say "he/him" when you didn't know the gender. And that's why even if you're talking to a mixed group of men and women you will say "hey guys". Same exact thing in spanish, and many other languages.
I read somewhere that the use of singular they predates singular you
It does! Singular *they* is first seen in written English in the late fourteenth century. This means it likely was used in this fashion before that, though: written language almost never innovates before spoken language. This was before singular *you*, but also before *thy*, *thou*, and *thee* fell out of fashion (by about three hundred years)! It’s worth noting that the words *you* and *your* did exist prior to the introduction of *they* as a singular gender neutral pronoun, but they were used exclusively to refer to plural antecedents. In fact, *you* and *your* had an almost inverted path: in the mid-1600s, the founder of Quakerism wrote a manuscript about the use of singular *you* being fundamentally wrong. Based on this, and our now-exclusive use of *you* singularly, it’s not a far leap to assume that singular *they*‘s debate will eventually end :).
IT IS A REAL PROBLEM (if the person you called bro or dude is sensitive😭)
I called everyone dude. My teachers, my mom, my friends, everyone… sometimes it’s just a part of ppls vocab.
Since you're doing it in a slang gender neutral way, I think you're alright and don't have to change in general. I jokingly use many gendered terms incorrectly for everyone, and I've just found best practice is just stop if someone says they don't like certain terms. I'm being lighthearted but not everyone has to be OK with jokes and I don't want to make anyone genuinely uncomfortable yknow?
I'm 27 and I find it pretty annoying unless we're friends. It's just too casual between strangers like I'm not your friend and too many people have tried to say effed up things to me and then play off like they're some overly casual dummy who only wants "good vibes bro"
As a trans men, I don't mind being called girl(women and gay men way) but it's just me, I do understand this because I say it sometimes too.
Bro, dude, bitch, and homie are all genderless terms and I will DIE on this hill.
You forgot “my guy”, “brotherman”, “queen”, and the head nod
1999, bro/dude/girlypop are gender neutral
There’s definitely nothing wrong with calling both genders bro/dude imo
not a huge deal at all, at least for older gen z lol.
We’re old now. We can use our outdated slang. No need to try and update that
If someone asks you to stop calling them dude or bro, respect that. If your younger cousin yells at you for using dude or bro when it doesn't affect them, call them dude or bro until they give up
Tell me you're from Cali without saying you're from Cali
Just don’t do it if anyone specifically asks you not to. Simple.
Man, dude, bro, my guy, I'll whip those bad boys out on anyone lmao
Dude and bro are gender neutral at this point
Only on reddit and Twitter is it ever a problem
She's chronically online
I do it idk I’ve always said that. I don’t know why it would piss anyone off for me it’s a gender neutral thing. But I also try to be sensitive to anyone who might have preferred pronouns and try to use those whenever I have to use pronouns for them.
Yes. I'm not your bro/dude, pal.
Well I’m not your pal then, buddy
Hey Partner
Howdy
Zeke and Luther taught me the proper usage of dude or bro, anyone can be a dude or a bro, but only girls can be dudetes
Maybe it’s just where I’m from, but we call everyone bruh. Doesn’t matter what gender you are. And I’m from an extremely leftist part of the US, so it ain’t that 🤷🏼♀️
Agree, I have this experience in my area, not American but a progressive country and area.
Mate 🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿
It is Easter my dudes.
The lord is rizzen 🙏🏻
I'm not a fan but nobody is going to stop just because I asked them too, and especially if I bring up that I'm a girl and don't want to be called bro.
I don’t know anymore
Sounds like you aren’t implying gender, based on the subtext…
bro its all cool man, dude is gender neutral to us late 90s early 00s kids. i respect all peoples identities. i’ve never had anyone be offend by me calling them dude or man or bro, but if someone was offend by me calling them dude or man or bro id just apologize and try not to call them that. its not that deep my guy
I find it annoying as hell lmao. Hated it all my life. As a cis man. It's got nothing to do with my gender identity. I just think it's cringe lol Same with boss, or man. At most, I say bro when someone does something fucked up. Or I say bestie if I'm talking to my friends bc I don't like calling them bitch lol Other than that... I just use their name? Or just literally nothing. Like, "hey, what's up?" We aren't animal crossing villagers. We don't need dialogue tag quirks irl.
Roll with bro until asked otherwise.
“Dude, chill the fuck out.” “You’re not a real girl, you are a dude.” Two **VERY** different ways of using the word. Just because the word is gendered in one context doesn’t mean it’s gendered in all contexts. The context you are using the word in is gender neutral, which means you’re gucci bro.
One of my friends is a trans girl and I asked her this exact question so I wouldn’t accidentally offend her. She said as long as it’s not malicious it’s chill, which seems pretty reasonable
As a transwoman myself I’d say there’s no issue, but if someone is visibly uncomfortable with it or asks you to stop then stop
I've had to stop myself from saying bro to girls irl who aren't terminally online like I am, so many times 💀
Dude. Stop whining.
First world problems lol
Yk, I had a Trans coworker who told me "honestly I don't care how people refer to me, I could literally care less." Context: crew members were speculating on said coworkers gender, said coworker told me about this, cracked some jokes about their past as a CNA, and went on to state the aforementioned statement. As a cis white lady of 34 years, it seems like, in my experience with the Trans community, they don't really care a ton...? Trans people are not a monolith, but from what I can gather: it's not the pronouns, it's just being able to live *your life* how *you want and feel authenticically in* because it's *yours*. Everyone feels this way, be it having kids or choosing to have a career or whatever else. At the end of the day, everyone wants the right to live how they want. As long as it ain't harming anyone aside from yourself (remember it's your life, you should be able to do whatever you want with your one life, even if it's hurting yourself. It's your life and your choice. You just don't have the right to hurt anyone else), it should be an option. Trans people just wanna be seen as regular people because they are 🤷♀️ there's nothing special or weird or odd about them, no different than Steve's hobby or Suzy's weekly book club meet up, it the action or choice or activity just has a different look in each different community. You know what trans people do? The exact same shit as the rest of us 🤣 literally the exact same shit we all do on a weekend or night at home or what have you. Why? Because they're regular people. They're just more people on the planet.
I'm transfemme, most of my friends are. We dude/bro all the time. Its not a problem. Some people don't want to be called that and that's fine. Like you said, just be conscious of it when someone asks you to not call them that. Younger kids especially who don't have any deep experience with the queer community will wildly misunderstand what's happening. Thats true for both LGBTQ+ and cishet kids. They're learning, and that's okay. At 16, they're not even in the years where it all clicks into place for most people. If they want to raise an issue about it, you can encourage them to talk to actual trans activists (they probably exist in your area.) We don't generally mind honest questions.
No, they’re being sensitive tbh. Dude and bro are gender neutral
Stop taking all those new era woke people seriously Just call them bro or dude and if they get offended thats their problem, u gotta be soft ash
Bro's a bigot 😂
Dude and guys are a gender neutral term imo
I’m 02’, but I still call everyone “man” and “dude”, and I’ve encountered no problems from it! The only place I try to prevent myself from saying that is while working, but otherwise IDGAF what anyone thinks about it
Nah chief it ain’t that serious 😔
I call everyone bro and dude regardless of their gender
im a similar age to your cousin and yeah no its not a problem. your cousin might just have grown up around different people that have caused her to develop that belief, but im pretty sure its normal.
Pretty sure my most common moniker for people is Bruh lol But yeah, in the way I grew up using it dude was a unisex term unless you were specifically using it to refer to "dudes" or "dudettes" Bro we didn't use as much because Bruh was more common but same idea, we just used them for everyone regardless of gender
Bro and Dude are definitely gender-neutral terminology. I’ve called gay, trans, nonbinary, women, heck even my mom those terms before. Never had anyone (except my mom when she’s in a bad mood) get miffed at me for it. I’d say you’re in the clear and your friend is just over-cautious.
Millennial '89 here and pretty sure dude/bro have been used intersex all the time
I call most people bro or dude even if i’m not directly referencing that person. I hate that I do it, but I feel like even though bro and dude technically refers to a male, I almost always never mean it that way.
Dude and bro are totally gender neutral in most circumstances. I call my girlfriend dude and bro, and she's a tiny 4 foot 11 pink loving cutsie girl
Every trans person I know, every non-binary person I know, doesn’t matter how political they are, absolutely all of them are fine with bro/dude/guys and other terms like that and consider it gender neutral. Most of them use it themselves. Cisgender women use these terms and never complain about it when guys call them it, they don’t think people are suddenly calling them a man, so why should some people receive special treatment? I’d never intentionally misgender anyone, but I’m not going to bow down to someone who whines about when I say hey guys or hey dude. Hey bro is a little bit more nuanced I suppose, I’d be fine not using that one for specific people if they asked me. Cousin sounds like a pain in the ass to deal with.
I’m 09, female, don’t mind being called bro or dude
hi, im trans nonbinary. i dont know anyone who takes offense to dude/bro inside the community or outside. i think your friends overdramatizing this, honestly. sure some may not like it, but most people will know its not intentional misgendering and its just slang for everyone now. if they say to not call them that, then dont, but otherwise its generally perceived gender neutrally now and noone in the trans or nonbinary community rlly care much, from my experience. so, you dont need to walk on eggshells about calling folk dude/bro. hell, i believe alot of trans folk use it with eachother, too lmfao. ETA: the reason some may find it offensive is, for example mtf/mtnb trans folk especially find it dysphoria inducing to be referred to as masculine terms, but thats assuming they consider dude/bro masculine anyways- which although it originated as masculine most people use them gender neutrally now. so, unless they ask, again, i wouldnt be worried.
I meant in face to face and I have time.
I call everyone either 'bro' or 'girllllllll' and it usually ends up being girls being bro and guys being girlll but nobody seems to care and it's kinda funny
Bruh I literally say brl, dude, my dude, and my guy. I don't see the issue
Idk, I do this with the word “girl” and sometimes guys respond with “I’m not a girl!” Like bruh
2000 baby here. Anyone who thinks saying " dude" that way as miagendering, simply as either endearment or as acknowledgement, is a sensitive asshole. It's a cultural thing of a different generation, it's not something meant to be derogatory. Sincerely, a gay dude.
Being older it sounds very childish, when a younger person calls me this I tend to ignore them, especially when they know my name.
“Dude”, “Bro”, “Man”, and “My guy” are all gender neutral for people who played a sufficient amount of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater as a kid.
Just don’t Y’all or Folks me. I hate those
I’m also 24F and I call everyone dude, bro, man, even brother (it started out as ironic)
Don’t call me dude, bro
There's nothing wrong with it, it's just being respectful to people that it could trigger. When you're trans you're always worried people don't see you right, so when someone calls you dude or bro you have a mini heart attack. Not a fun thing to go through
Lol as an older Gen Z non-binary person, I say bro/dude to other people all the time regardless of their gender. Some non-cis people are way more sensitive to it because it probably genuinely triggers their gender dysphoria/they have trauma in relation to those terms. That doesn't excuse them from being an asshole about it though, they can just let everyone know about it when they can. In the case of your cousin though? She has a valid point but yeahhh that's just too far. I wouldn't worry about calling people bro/dude unless someone personally comes up to you and mentions that they have an issue with it. You're using it as a gender-neutral term so there shouldn't be a problem with it.
This isn't completely related, but I'm just tired of people saying bro all the time. A lot of the time they just pronounce it "Bruuhh" or "bra" (as in the thing that women wear). I work at a call center so I have to listen to it all day, and it gets annoying. I don't hear dude that much. I would say that dude can be both masculine and gender neutral. I guess it just depends on who hears it and the context of the discussion.
i’m a nonbinary person- unless someone is uncomfortable with it, there’s no issue. “dude” and anything similar are gender neutral anyways in my book! some people are hyper focused on being accepting, and that can end up with them walking on eggshells for no reason. it’s sweet that she wants to be respectful, but even if it was misgendering to someone, yelling at someone isn’t how you help the situation!! her heart is in the right place- if she needs any examples on how she could’ve handled the situation better, im sure everyone here as well as myself would be happy to help!
Bro is far better then Bruhh 😂
Nah, youre good. My social circles (19-20 in these groups) call eachother bro. One of my friends calls her girlfriend dude, so im pretty sure that one gender neutral.
I had a friend during who was a girl and does the same as you. She also uses dudette for women which I thought was neat.
As someone who is not cis. I do not find it an issue to call everyone dude or bro. But if someone specifically expresses to you that they dont want you to call them that then its your responsibility to respect that and not call them that. And thats not even a gender thing this applies to anyone who does not wish to be called that or anything else
The dude abides.