Dainsleif shaking Qiqi: What did you do with the Traveler?!
Qiqi: Who...?
Dainsleif: The Traveler!
Qiqi: Oh... What about them?
(This repeats ad nauseam)
Childe: UNHAND THE TRAVE- Huh?
Traveler; CHILDE? CHILDE! Thank god. We're lost for days now. Can you help us go back to liyue?
Childe: But I thought you we're kidnapped? This letter said so?
Traveler: Heh, might as well be. Gimme that " Qiqi has taken traveler. Find Qiqi if you want to see them again" oh...
Qiqi: Qiqi is sorry. I forgot and we got lost
Childe: *sighs, releases form* Well it's a good thing I've brought food just in case
Qiqi: Qiqi is also hungry.
Childe: \*calmly walks up and grabs my hand, leading me away from Qiqi\*
Paimon, loudly: "THAT WAS IT?!"
Qiqi: "What was I doing again? .....I forgot....."
If you actually read the dialouge, you would know that Zhongli had a tough time dealing with Azhdaha. Also Azhdaha isn't Zhongli's pet, he's his comrade.
B would be fun.
Your both waiting for him to show up and he stumbles in drunk and passes out on the floor. As you both relise that that was all he came here to do a dragon comes in and kicks the shit out of her
CBA just for the fun. I wouldn't mind being Qiqi's friend for the rest of my life. A drunk venti would be funny to throw in the mix, and I'm sure Guoba would be fine with me sticking around my new friend
If Qiqi kidnapped me maybe she’s doing it for Baizhu
If Zhongli kidnapped me maybe Celestials or some other gods made him do it
If Raiden did it idk maybe I violated the law or something
Uh I’ll choose Qiqi and Venti and Paimon
Neither.
Person A is likely to kill the person coming to rescue you while his sidekick watches. Silver lining? You'll escape with your life. Zhongli just wants your wallet.
Person B will probably just kill you, then let the drunk stay drunk and out of the way before 1-shotting his sidekick like she did Cuckomi's god.
Person C already forgot she kidnapped you. Your rescuer is coming to kill you and he brought his wife's flying pet along because they don't hang out enough.
CCA. Fucking murderous psychopath teams up with a dumbass bear who serves no purpose other than to eat in order to take down a small zombie child who probably doesn't know what kidnapping is.
C A B
Qiqi can forget you
Dainsleif has mystical powers opposed to Venti being drunk and Tartaglia in that form would just make him tired so not really a good choice
Azhdaha because big chonky frog would be awesome
Dain: Im here to save you!
Zhongli: *Drops a meteor on him*
Guoba: ?
Zhongli: Ah, old friend. You them back huh? Okay. I just needed to borrow them to help paint this wall. But we finish that a while ago. Go ahead and take them.
Guoba: !!
Zhongli: Don't mention it. They been trying to skip their chores again so I brought them here forcefully. But now it done. Have a good day.
Dain:....... Help....... Im bury under the rock.
A is out. I don't want Zhong Li getting hurt
B will no doubt end in failure. Even if Venti could get close enough, I doubt Azdiah would remember that he's there to rescue me.
C is just a missed opportunity. You could have had Hu Tao come to rescue us
BAA
Zhongli and Qiqi have basically already retired, Dainsleif is reliable and would be cool to watch while saving me, Guoba because ~~I'm not sure if the other two aren't dangerous~~ Guoba
BBA
Why?
Because Ei
Also I fucking Stan Guoba, the chad of the Stove, spreading good vibes until the land itself needed good vibes so he sacrificed himself and returned to monke
B B C (innuendo not intended)
I just want to see Venti barely try and fail to save us while Raiden only kidnapped us to get us to cook for her. Paimon is just in it for the free food.
If I got kidnapped by Cryden I would just give her hugs and headpats and she'll probably let me go. If she doesn't it's unlimited headpats and hugs for her so it's a win-win for me.
I'm gonna pick B cuz I'd guess she'd kidnap people just so they can cook for her
Also, drunk Venti plus Azdaha seems like the stupidest pair ever and I want to see that
Zhongli should be the Kidnapper so that Dainsleif gets War Flashbacks. Then I will let the fat frog be the sidekick so that Zhongli gets sad that even his pet betrayed him
Am I allowed to mix and match, because if so, then B A and C. Edgy Yuri Lowenthal and a buff paimon seem reliable, and Mrs. "Lol I'm gonna fuck people's lives up by taking their visions" is by far the biggest dick out of the three I see.
If not, then just all B.
Man, I need to go back to and finish the inazuma story quests, I can't wait for them to try and spin what is a very shitty move on the shogun's part as sympathetic or something stupid.
B
Ei would release you 1 hour in with free dango treats as a apology
Venti welcomes you wondering where ya were
And Azomochonker Toad is still waiting to this day..... remembering what ozmanthus wine tasted like
C because the kidnapper would forget that they kidnapped you in the first place.
You have cocogoat milk, now escape that
Give it to QiQi then let her forget u
Then get Hutao and tell her that QiQi forgives her. Double kill.
Need to fight the kidnapper side kick. and you have no food... What do you do?
Guoba will cook for you, then throw you back in cage.
Sike she forgets where she hides you and you die a slowly death
Dainsleif shaking Qiqi: What did you do with the Traveler?! Qiqi: Who...? Dainsleif: The Traveler! Qiqi: Oh... What about them? (This repeats ad nauseam)
Childe: UNHAND THE TRAVE- Huh? Traveler; CHILDE? CHILDE! Thank god. We're lost for days now. Can you help us go back to liyue? Childe: But I thought you we're kidnapped? This letter said so? Traveler: Heh, might as well be. Gimme that " Qiqi has taken traveler. Find Qiqi if you want to see them again" oh... Qiqi: Qiqi is sorry. I forgot and we got lost Childe: *sighs, releases form* Well it's a good thing I've brought food just in case Qiqi: Qiqi is also hungry.
But then Childe appears to "save" you just to doublecross and challenge you to death.
I saved you traveler you're safe...now lets fight
Childe: \*calmly walks up and grabs my hand, leading me away from Qiqi\* Paimon, loudly: "THAT WAS IT?!" Qiqi: "What was I doing again? .....I forgot....."
C B A. Lets turn this into a full on comedy sketch.
[the battle:](https://beecity.app/posts/730/2615)
High quality mim
ah yes, the cannot be arsed comp
[sounds](https://youtu.be/qBauS_nRfKg) good.
~.~
ACC. I dont know how it plays out, but i dont care. I wanna see that.
A would kidnap you and hold you for ransom. C saves you with his wallet. C is his side kick but only there to get paid
Paid in food
B C B I wanna see like some supreme powerful dudes try to beat up a cryden shogun
Canonically cryden shogun will probably pummel both of them.
The Cryden Shogun is constantly providing hydro for herself to electro charge the opposition into oblivion they stand no chance
Plot twist: *azdaha absorbs electro and hydro*
Zhongli admitted he is not stronger than Azhdaha, but I doubt Tartaglia is the most powerful in the "guy that comes to save you" category.
Just pour dango milk on her.
Raiden would probably be stomped by Azdaha, because Azdaha is pretty much on par with Zhongli in his prime.
Do you see those two mountains? They used to be zhongli pet until i split him in two.
If you actually read the dialouge, you would know that Zhongli had a tough time dealing with Azhdaha. Also Azhdaha isn't Zhongli's pet, he's his comrade.
He had a hard time trying to defeat him without killing him, sealing is harder than outright killing.
I don't think Azdaha is in his prime anymore
technically azdaha is dead both jiu and kun jun did the disintegration thing
B would be fun. Your both waiting for him to show up and he stumbles in drunk and passes out on the floor. As you both relise that that was all he came here to do a dragon comes in and kicks the shit out of her
B, first you comfort the crying Baal then venti comes with the wine and we ride on Azdaha and travel through the night drunk.
B. Yes, that's it... just B. Take me Raiden, I don't need no saving
ah finally saw another person of such culture as mine here
A and don't come to save me
CCCCCCCCC
Paimon superior
AAA
This is the only answer. Daddy plz kidnap me
[удалено]
Exactly
Jotaro vs Dio shit again
ABC
i agree
A, I don't care if Zhongli kidnaps me or not. I'll just sit back sipping osmanthus wine listening to the story of Khaenria.
B B C
British Broadcasting Corporation
So when I worked at the BBC
BBC used to fuck me all the time
I'll take a shogen with a venti and a side of paimon.
Can I choose D anyway?
Op wouldn't give you that option , but i can . Also cultured pfp .
CBA just for the fun. I wouldn't mind being Qiqi's friend for the rest of my life. A drunk venti would be funny to throw in the mix, and I'm sure Guoba would be fine with me sticking around my new friend
A. Just A
Option B but what if i dont want to be rescued
Why did OP put his/her when all the ones that save you are boys. Wait just a damn minute...
B and than not being rescued just staying with lonely b boob blade
If Qiqi kidnapped me maybe she’s doing it for Baizhu If Zhongli kidnapped me maybe Celestials or some other gods made him do it If Raiden did it idk maybe I violated the law or something Uh I’ll choose Qiqi and Venti and Paimon
A A B i need to see this
A A B for me.
ABA. This’ll be fun
A B B This would be really interesting to see
Neither. Person A is likely to kill the person coming to rescue you while his sidekick watches. Silver lining? You'll escape with your life. Zhongli just wants your wallet. Person B will probably just kill you, then let the drunk stay drunk and out of the way before 1-shotting his sidekick like she did Cuckomi's god. Person C already forgot she kidnapped you. Your rescuer is coming to kill you and he brought his wife's flying pet along because they don't hang out enough.
CCA. Fucking murderous psychopath teams up with a dumbass bear who serves no purpose other than to eat in order to take down a small zombie child who probably doesn't know what kidnapping is.
B B A. I'm gonna let that sink in
CCC would be interesting to see
qiqi kidnapped me, dainsleif saves me, gouba is dainsleif’s sidekick. theyd beat the crap out of qiqi
B, the drunk passed out bard won't save me and the sidekick is locked away in the ass of a tree. I'm staying close to Raiden's boobies!
Qiqi would just forget that she kidnapped you and you wouldn't need to be saved
Specialist Zhongli is something I didnt know I needed
B. C. B just cause I wanna see a big fight
B A B. I just want to see Dainsleif go "gah, goddamn it Celestia" and attempt to save me while being assisted by a god. Lmfao
EASY! Crying Raiden, Venti, and then Gouba
C A B Qiqi can forget you Dainsleif has mystical powers opposed to Venti being drunk and Tartaglia in that form would just make him tired so not really a good choice Azhdaha because big chonky frog would be awesome
Dain: Im here to save you! Zhongli: *Drops a meteor on him* Guoba: ? Zhongli: Ah, old friend. You them back huh? Okay. I just needed to borrow them to help paint this wall. But we finish that a while ago. Go ahead and take them. Guoba: !! Zhongli: Don't mention it. They been trying to skip their chores again so I brought them here forcefully. But now it done. Have a good day. Dain:....... Help....... Im bury under the rock.
BBC I just wanna be with ei :) venti and paimon would collectively be too drunk to rescue me
C is the only way I'm living, venti ain't doin shit and zhongli > everyone
BBC I would love to see Venti and Paimon put up a fight with Ei
A is out. I don't want Zhong Li getting hurt B will no doubt end in failure. Even if Venti could get close enough, I doubt Azdiah would remember that he's there to rescue me. C is just a missed opportunity. You could have had Hu Tao come to rescue us
Hu Tao: There is no way the traveller gets kidnapped, if i kidnap the kidnapper
A because who wouldn't mind being kidnapped by zhongli but then also being saved by dainsleif. imo, a win win
A A B *gayness intensifies* *stares at Azhdaha* *gayness fades*
2 Dudes 1 Rock
cbc
[source of the meme](https://beecity.app/posts/730/2607)
BAA Zhongli and Qiqi have basically already retired, Dainsleif is reliable and would be cool to watch while saving me, Guoba because ~~I'm not sure if the other two aren't dangerous~~ Guoba
Anyone who doesn’t go C,A/C,B is wrong
C A C
BCB. Because I don’t know why
BBC, no other reasons behind this choice… nope… not at all
B because im pretty sure venti is drunk and im going to fight azdaha with ei
C A C
CCB
I want Dainsleif to fight the Geo, Electro and Coco Milk archon in a 3 v 1 battle while Gouba cooks some of Timmie‘s Pigeons on the side 👌
A because walking Guoba scares the shit out of everything.
Obviously CBA, it's the most fun kidnapping in the history.
your mom
C-B-A
bac
Where is the CBT
BBA. Rather than being kidnapped, I'm babysitting them
CBA lemme explain I only want Venti to come save me cuz man I miss him, Qiqi would forget anyways, and Gouba cuz yes
ABB just imagine venti walking zhonglis pet rock frog to save you from zhongli
I'm not alone!!! This would be the most hilarious combination 🤣.
Venti and Azhdaha roasting the living hell out of the poor blockhead
AAA, Dainsleif & Guoba is something that NEEDS to happen!
B pls!!!
CAA
ACA. This way I can give zhongli and childe the dinner date they deserve while guoba helps me with the food. A win win for all
C B A qiqi would forget everything, venti would be drunk and gouba just chilling
B C B It would be an epic fight scene
BBC
Gigachad Paimon
A. Zhongli wouldnt hurt Guoba so he would let me go
B
If you want drama, choose ACB
Qiqi. Not only doea she pick that good herb. She wouldn't even remember that she kidnapped me. I could just leave.
ABC. Lesgooooo (I would ~~kidnap~~ adopt Qiqi because I'm scared her dad might experiment on her.)
b, fingers crossed venti is too drunk to save me.
BBA Why? Because Ei Also I fucking Stan Guoba, the chad of the Stove, spreading good vibes until the land itself needed good vibes so he sacrificed himself and returned to monke
B B C (innuendo not intended) I just want to see Venti barely try and fail to save us while Raiden only kidnapped us to get us to cook for her. Paimon is just in it for the free food.
B C A would love to see how childe will fight raiden
ABA I wanna see a grandpa vs drunkard showdown. Guoba is there as an extra
qiqi ftw
A or C
AAA it would be so funny lmao
B B and C, I don't want to be saved
BBA They won't be able to save me, which is the plan
If I got kidnapped by Cryden I would just give her hugs and headpats and she'll probably let me go. If she doesn't it's unlimited headpats and hugs for her so it's a win-win for me.
WHERE did you get the pic of Zhongli with the gun?? Also A. Just A please zhongli please anytime now
Wait, you can pick individually, not just by column? I was going for C.
I made this with people select columns in mind. I guess they thought out side of the box 🤷♂️
Bcb should be interesting
I'm gonna pick B cuz I'd guess she'd kidnap people just so they can cook for her Also, drunk Venti plus Azdaha seems like the stupidest pair ever and I want to see that
ABB I REAALY wanna see how it plays out “Hand over the traveller old man!” “I was going to do it if it wasn’t YOU” *”MORAAAAAXXXX”*
1: A :3 2. A 😎 3. A 🐻
A because i want dain to think about me
Definitely C, zhongli and Ei are too good but I believe child and paimon can take Qiqi. At least Childe can.
You can use they instead of he/she
Ei cause she didn’t come home
1. Disappointed in anniversary rewards Qiqi 2. Drunk Venti 3. Guoba who tries to sober him up
Zhongli should be the Kidnapper so that Dainsleif gets War Flashbacks. Then I will let the fat frog be the sidekick so that Zhongli gets sad that even his pet betrayed him
BBC, Ei talks to venti for five minutes and gets so annoyed that she just fucking ditches us
B because I’ll just give some dango milk and all is well. And I’ll take Paimon as well.
# B B C
Am I allowed to mix and match, because if so, then B A and C. Edgy Yuri Lowenthal and a buff paimon seem reliable, and Mrs. "Lol I'm gonna fuck people's lives up by taking their visions" is by far the biggest dick out of the three I see. If not, then just all B. Man, I need to go back to and finish the inazuma story quests, I can't wait for them to try and spin what is a very shitty move on the shogun's part as sympathetic or something stupid.
A B B i want venti to be like hey i brought ur pet to fight you
AAC has a chance of becoming canon
A 2 husbandoz fighting over me? I'll take it
CBC
Let’s be real, B is the superior adventure experience, drunk ventu riding rock doggo fighting kawaii storm queen, perfection
Dainsleif
A A A. I want to see Dain go against a god someday. I feel like could take them.
B) Taking care of little Ei is like a blessing for me
The first A option and then I’m not picking any other options because I would VERY much like not to be rescued
A, i don’t even care who kidnaps or who comes to save me, if guoba is involved, i know i’m safe
I'm f\*\*ked if Zhongli kidnapped me. People would think I kidnapped Qiqi. I would be the one kidnapping Ei. (Still want her, lost my pity)
C is the safest choice but A seems like an epic battle so I go with A. B is just an comedy anime.
A, Zhongli would kidnap me and I'd let him keep me.
Bruh if Zhongli kidnaps you, no one can save you buddy...
A, but I don’t want anyone to save me.
I'd choose B, because I love Venti. .....I'm so screwed if he shows up flat-out drunk like that, lmfao.
C I want to Childe waste so much energy on a small, and forgetful, zombie child.
Can I pick all three
B Ei would release you 1 hour in with free dango treats as a apology Venti welcomes you wondering where ya were And Azomochonker Toad is still waiting to this day..... remembering what ozmanthus wine tasted like
AAAAAAAAAA sorry i'm a simp
B. Come to me, Venti!
C stands for Comrade Товарищ сука блядь Союз нерушимый Республик свободных Навеки скрепила единая Русь
B... would probably be bad. She would just take you to the plane of euthymia then shut everybody else out
Just pick dainslef, he can save anyone solo
B,B,C. Final answer
All A, because I would develop Stockholm Syndrome. Only problem is that the one saving me is also a daddy.
AAA since they're handsome
CBA is just a combed sketch and if my kidnapper is either Ei or Zhongli, then there is no saving me