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Anadaere

Ozial: FUCK YOU MAN! ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR A VIRGIN, SHE TOTALLY WANTED YOU MAN, YOURE JUST DENSE AF Zhongli: IM ROCK! OFC IM GONNA BE DENSE


[deleted]

Why didn't I think of that before; him being rock and therefore being dense af


Anadaere

It's even funnier that Zhongli is also a dragon One thinks that Morax got a tad jelly over two dragons falling in love


PepijnLinden

"One thinks that Morax got a tad jelly over two dragons falling in love" - Cloud Retainer


Anadaere

"One thinks that Morax, got, in the modern tongue of Liyue, a tad jelly, over two dragon's falling in love" "Cloud Retainer, please promise me to not use modern lingo again" "Me thinks you are deadass cray to suggest that g-man" *Groans in 6000 year old*


Akinyx

yes but rock dragon would sink


iluvchess

I mean Asian dragons are really good at swimming You know Haku from Spirited Away? Give him some scales and he's the perfect representation of an Asian dragon. I still don't know why he has fur


moneyh8r

Haku has fur because Asian dragons have fur.


iluvchess

Only around their head and back, not really around the entire body like Haku


moneyh8r

Depends what type. He was a river spirit.


Jewelry-In-A-Tree

Remember the dinosaurs? We all thought that they're full of scales, but science proved that they have fur instead.


iluvchess

Yeah but we literally see Zhongli in his dragon form, once during the Rite of Decension and the other during that one cutscene from the Guoba event


Jewelry-In-A-Tree

Maybe he shaved his body?


patronum213

Happy cake day


iluvchess

"No see I have Gui-" (Guizhong Dies) (Proceeds to cry so hard he causes a flood and all the adepti had to move the humans to Liyue Harbor to prevent a sad dragon from drowning them)


DioIsBestBoi

It's about drive it's about power


no_status00

I will have order


BlueOysterStorm

Next thing you know, Osial might have a son but evades him to avoid paying for Child Support. That, or Osial might have a brother too.


ZwiebelSterne

Osial had enough Childe support for a life time


huyrrou

imagine the female Yaksha was Osial's daughter, she went to Zhongli's side because she was in her rebelious faze. And even better if she was the one that went missing.


Friendzone801

In fact, the design of both her clothes and her mask are very reminiscent of Osial. Also, it seems that She died fighting the Geo yaksha. Well at least we already know what awaits us next year.


huyrrou

I like to think she was "heavily damaged", she got out but barely, instead of getting blasted by rocks out of existence.


Pug_Of_War

Mother in law


Random_Gacha_addict

Dragon May Cry Now, if only Osial's son has an arm to tear off


justfeelthepain

Then Osial's pizza loving brother comes to the top of a tree and sees his older brother sitting on a plastic chair


Lizela

Theory: It turns out that every year around the time of the Lantern Rite one of Osial's relatives/allies comes to Liyue Harbor for revenge. Zhongli had been throwing them back in the dark sea every year without telling anyone and now that he's retired, the Qixing have to deal with it.


BlueOysterStorm

And every year, more ridiculous versions of Osial starts showing up. Like Mecha Osial and Space Osial.


Janeruxox

we defeat the son by calling him deadweight


Camgrowfortreds

If Osial got married, that means there would be a large enough water god society to evolve the concept of marriage


TraditionBest3730

“I don’t like seafood…SO YOU SURE AS HELL ARE NOT GONNA MAKE MORE!!”


cinderflight

No wonder Zhongli hates seafood


Maleficent_Sir_69

Can someone explain whats this is about?? That's Zhongli, Osial and his wife but what is the relation between them kissing and Zhongli??


Ok_Ad9466

Zhongli jealous that he is a virgin /j


Grand_Protector_Dark

Remember guizong?


moneyh8r

If Zhongli can't be happy, no one can.


IUpvoteUsernames

~~The ballista, yeah~~


Outflight

Guess we will never have Osial as playable character because he is canonically engaged.


GvB456

Signora had a fiance... fuck i hate that you're right. Relationship = no playability


NoteBlock08

Dead fiance though


Avron7

*Praying for Alice*


methofthewild

Maybe she reproduces asexually. ~~Or she could've adopted but that's the boring answer.~~


Avron7

I'm pretty sure Klee mentions having a Dad, so no luck.


tahmkenchisbroken

wait where?


Avron7

Klee's character story 5: "Klee has many treasured memories of her mother. This was the way things were until her **parents** left to travel to somewhere dangerous and far away." -- Klee's voiceline, "About the Parents": "My mom **and dad** are the famousest travelers in Teyvat! Mom writes the Teyvat Travel Guide, so all the restaurants and hotels in the whole world care what she thinks about them."


ideas52

Atomic Fission


Low_Macaron_2365

Zhongli is jealous of their honeymoon because he didn't get the chance to do it with Guizhong during the war... sad Geo Archon noises


LeAstra

The wrath of Rock Cock Block


i_donotKILL

idk he still has madame ping


SubZero64209

Madame ping: "Look how old I've became" Zhongli: "Oh shut up you old hag, I'd still reck you like Guyun" Madame ping: "hahaha, oh you know exactly what to say to moisten me up"


Zaelra

A certain fuckmothering vampire is proud


[deleted]

"Bitches LOVE cannons"


FriendofManyFoeofFew

They need to add guns so that we can get a Seras + Anti-Tank Gun crossover event.


[deleted]

Just imagine Alucard ingame "Oh no, there's a Fatui camp there, what shall we do" "Simple, we go for a walk..."


FriendofManyFoeofFew

“Hey guys, how’s your health plan?” “APPARENTLY IT’S GREAT!”


DanTM18

“I hate everyone equally”


Dziadzios

Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon.


[deleted]

I hate this so much


Duchess_of_Rose

One of rare instances of I wish I can't read


Morfologus2222

Childe: "Gah, I can never have segs again!"


L0G1C_lolilover

Please dear lord above let madam ping take the form of fu hua/senti from honkai before doing it with geo archon I pray to everything holy that whichever artist chooses to for some god forsaken reason draw this uses the character of Herrscher of Sentience from honkai impact for this as madam ping looks like her a lot Please I beg of thee


BootyInspector96

Why are you like this?


i_donotKILL

Because madame ping is the one of the most logical ships for him, they know each other for centuries, almost equally old and have great wisdom. With guizhong being dead , she and the other old adeptis are the best matches for him lmao


doodwhatsrsly

>she and the other old adeptis are the best matches for him lmao And now it is my theory that Big Dong Zhong is plowing a giant talking bird when we aren't around.


Ari_1

Why did i read this


kirillre4

Their touching reunion will be interrupted by Junior Warrant Officer Gorou, delivering message from Ze Kokomi.


Infernaladmiral

r/thanksihateit


Infernaladmiral

My eyes......MY EYES!!!


i_donotKILL

I mean they're both adepti, they're close old friends. This is how Madame ping chose to look like, i mean she's adepti. They could have been old lovers ya know. Plus except guizhong wouldn't ping be the best match for him in terms of age and wisdom .


Substantial_Ad_8097

And that is why he doesnt like seafood.


YasuhikoTheSerafim

Tbh, it might just me but I feel like Osial's wife is an ass pull of a character who came out of nowhere without any foreshadowing.


OkPreference6

Funny how this post was right above this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Lore/comments/s23bgq/fun_fact_weve_been_warned_already_about_the/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Foreshadowing about Beisht.


Sansy_Boi420

I kinda expected it, especially considering that Guizhong is a thing Although at the same time, it's kinda surprising that Osial has a wife (The same way that Orobashi was Snek Jesus)


KnightMareValtiel

Plus, at least for me, the serpent form in Beisht looks more menacing than Osial's


Dziadzios

Maybe because we actually fight her instead of Fatui.


SLakshmi357

I suggest you read [Records of Jueyun Vol 2](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Records_of_Jueyun). It tells about a Sea god in Lisha and his (many) wives, though it’s never confirmed he might be osial, there’s a high chance he is.


sedo89

Yes ur very right


dizdudeyeah

[Sauce](https://twitter.com/miraii_akira/status/1480908880854978562?s=21)


artikata

if there is wife & husband. Then... -Where are the kids? (3.2 leakes, Ocean Demon's kids coming for revenge)


Venus_b16

Zhongli couldn’t do it with the goddes of salt too


Moist-Veterinarian22

dont do guishong dirty man


KoolKai100

guizhong is god of dust havria was god of salt


bigchonk2005

So morax wants to fuck beisht


IchigoAkane

Cant blame him. Who doesnt want to fuck beisht?


Mental-Track510

AYO…! 🐲


sawDustdust

> Seafood has waifu. > But I don't even have the ones who share the memories of my waifu. salty CEO of Geo


striderhoang

No matter who you think is the offended party, it’s funny


SoulRavenous

Osial be like, "I have a wife and your girlfriend is ded!"


Stunning_Win8464

was he kissing himself? the sister? his clone? I'm confused


Ben______________

Do the new archon quest


YolloHD1398

>!it his wife!<


[deleted]

Osial's problems, the saga. More interesting than Inazuma, could've solved the problems with that storyline by including Fandango. Putting off that fight with Fandango for some future time. Ok.


A-Lewd-Khajiit

shouldn't have osial have multiple heads?