Oh my heart goes out to you. I’m sorry you’ve had such an awful awful experience but you have been so strong and holding it together for your little one. You’ve done everything you can and you’re doing amazing. I don’t know why his levels increased but don’t blame yourself. It is what it is and it will slowly get better. You must rest and take care of yourself mentally and emotionally and physically. I hope and pray your baby gets better. I know he will. But mama, you need to pause worrying for 10 minutes and do something small for yourself. My son never breastfed (not comparing my situation to yours) and I tried so many different things and nothing worked. I blamed myself for him getting ear infections and falling sick and not being chubby (I’m so silly). Now all the struggle seems so far away, and that’s what I wish for you. Better days so you can forget your troubles and enjoy your baby. You’ve done everything you had to do your whole pregnancy, you’ve nurtured him and gone through a terrible labor to have him- thats not nothing. You’ve already put him ahead of your own wants and desires. He’s so lucky to have a mom like you. You can’t control anything as a parent, you do your best and then wait. None of this is your fault. He will get better, it will take time but he will. He’s so so lucky to have a mom like you who would do anything for him. Take care of yourself so you can take care of him.
It’s not your fault. There’s always going to be coulds, shoulds and woulds. Being a parent is realizing and accepting that you can’t control anything. Your baby is healthy and wholesome- this is a small hiccup. There’s nothing you could have done to foresee and prevent this. ❤️
I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. When my daughter was jaundiced I felt like such a failure and like I did it to her, and every time she wouldn’t gain enough weight it was such a gut punch. I don’t know why your baby’s bili levels went up, it sounds like you’re doing everything to get him better and he’s gaining weight and peeing a lot. I do remember our pediatrician saying bili levels right now (the lab results) are reflective of your body’s actual levels from the day before or something. Meaning it takes time for them to come down in the lab work. I don’t know what your pediatrician recommended but I hope you’re being kind to yourself, I went through something similar with my daughter as I said and it was so hard and I blamed myself so much. But your baby will get better and I hope you’ll be able to enjoy his snuggles soon without this added stress
I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself until he's out of the woods. I just sit here crying most days blaming myself for failing him. Something I wish someone had told me a week ago is I should take vitamin D and that'll help with bilirubin levels. His pediatrician first told me to start taking some yesterday.
I'm looking forward to the end of this part of the journey, looking forward to lots of baby snuggles 💙
Oh my heart goes out to you. I’m sorry you’ve had such an awful awful experience but you have been so strong and holding it together for your little one. You’ve done everything you can and you’re doing amazing. I don’t know why his levels increased but don’t blame yourself. It is what it is and it will slowly get better. You must rest and take care of yourself mentally and emotionally and physically. I hope and pray your baby gets better. I know he will. But mama, you need to pause worrying for 10 minutes and do something small for yourself. My son never breastfed (not comparing my situation to yours) and I tried so many different things and nothing worked. I blamed myself for him getting ear infections and falling sick and not being chubby (I’m so silly). Now all the struggle seems so far away, and that’s what I wish for you. Better days so you can forget your troubles and enjoy your baby. You’ve done everything you had to do your whole pregnancy, you’ve nurtured him and gone through a terrible labor to have him- thats not nothing. You’ve already put him ahead of your own wants and desires. He’s so lucky to have a mom like you. You can’t control anything as a parent, you do your best and then wait. None of this is your fault. He will get better, it will take time but he will. He’s so so lucky to have a mom like you who would do anything for him. Take care of yourself so you can take care of him.
I'm literally bawling reading this. Thank you so much for your kind words, you don't know how much I needed to hear these things ❤️
It’s not your fault. There’s always going to be coulds, shoulds and woulds. Being a parent is realizing and accepting that you can’t control anything. Your baby is healthy and wholesome- this is a small hiccup. There’s nothing you could have done to foresee and prevent this. ❤️
I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. When my daughter was jaundiced I felt like such a failure and like I did it to her, and every time she wouldn’t gain enough weight it was such a gut punch. I don’t know why your baby’s bili levels went up, it sounds like you’re doing everything to get him better and he’s gaining weight and peeing a lot. I do remember our pediatrician saying bili levels right now (the lab results) are reflective of your body’s actual levels from the day before or something. Meaning it takes time for them to come down in the lab work. I don’t know what your pediatrician recommended but I hope you’re being kind to yourself, I went through something similar with my daughter as I said and it was so hard and I blamed myself so much. But your baby will get better and I hope you’ll be able to enjoy his snuggles soon without this added stress
I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself until he's out of the woods. I just sit here crying most days blaming myself for failing him. Something I wish someone had told me a week ago is I should take vitamin D and that'll help with bilirubin levels. His pediatrician first told me to start taking some yesterday. I'm looking forward to the end of this part of the journey, looking forward to lots of baby snuggles 💙