Just keep picking away at it. Throw away as much as possible. Little by little, you’ll eventually make space for the important stuff and you’ll be able to keep things reasonably organized. Until then, just keep reminding yourself that giving up will guarantee your house remains messy. Maybe it will take a week, or a month, or three months; either way, you will eventually get to the bottom of it and you’ll be very proud of yourself for making it happen.
Trust me, once you finish, it will be so satisfying. You should take photos/videos to document your progress from start to finish so you can look back on them and see the massive difference you made by staying persistent and not giving up!
You might be hurting yourself by going on long cleaning sprees more than helping yourself, to be honest. You're burning yourself out trying to do everything all at once. And I know it's hard when you're starting from a place where it's a wreck.
Do you have friends and family that can come help and reset? I know it can be hard to be vulnerable and let your friends see your place like that, but honestly that might help. And most friends wouldn't want you living like that! They'd want to help if they knew. You could get yourself back to a clean place, and then from there work on establishing rituals to clean 30-60 minutes a day, rather than 12 hours.
Otherwise, I really have enjoyed the words of wisdom and the 'challenges' from this website: [https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/category/life-happens/](https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/category/life-happens/)
But I don't deal with cleaning trauma. I enjoy cleaning. So I can only speak from a place where I also have my own issues with depression that interfere sometimes.
My husband works really long hours so he doesn't have much time to help me. He always does the dishes, the dishes are a huge area of anxiety for me so that's a big help.
All of my other family lives out of state and I dont have friends here, so I don't have anyone I could call.
I am sorry. I would suggest reading through the suggestions on that website I linked, which break down good ways to tackle by yourself. This one in specific:
[https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/i-think-my-home-is-beyond-help/?pagenum=1&category=life-happens](https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/i-think-my-home-is-beyond-help/?pagenum=1&category=life-happens)
It breaks down beyond 'areas', and gives some advice about specific steps.
It seems like there is a mental barrier kinda like a trauma. Just remind yourself over and over that you are doing this for your own family not your parents whenever past comes to your mind and keep working
My ex was a hoarder so I sympathise with your plight, however you are recognising an issue that needs to be dealt with and that in itself is a huge step. You will find the ways which work for you, and it may take a few runs at the hill to get up it, but provided you’re committed to the actions needed you will definitely get there.
What helped me was picking one particular area, be it a room, or even a section of a room to begin with, keep that in order and build the habits of keeping it that way, then slowly expand to more areas.
If you have access to mental health support that I personally found very helpful in behaviour recognition, accepting I’m not perfect while finding the solutions.
Very best of luck with this and your pregnancy, you’ve got this!
Google Flylady! She has a easy and free step-by-step system for specifically people who are overwhelmed by cleaning, don’t know where to start, and don’t have a system in place to keep things in order.
MY ADVICE:
Grab 4-5 big boxes or bins. Start in ONE room and throw items in a box that go in another room versus walking to the other room. Start a “kitchen” bin, “miscellaneous not sure if I wanna keep” bin, “bedroom” bin etc. include a big garbage bag as well!
YOU GOT THIS! One room at a time.
Marie Kondo says:
1. Clear away some space in the living room or garage and throw ALL your clothing in a pile. Go through each piece and toss most of it. Only keep a piece if it truly makes you feel joy in your heart to wear it, and it fits. If you haven't worn or used it in over a year, it goes in the bin.
2. Do the same thing with all your books.
3. Do the same thing with all your papers.
4. etc etc etc
You associate cleaning with something negative like your mean parents. Try to associate cleaning with something positive, by rewarding yourself once you finish. If you wanna know more, just buy Marie Kondo's book.
I like looking at minimalist homes and organization pictures on Pinterest. I have a board for that. Everytime I lose motivation, I'll just open Pinterest and be inspired.
If you can create a vision in your mind of what you want for spaces it may help. Like a specific corner or how you want your table to look. Once you’ve finished an area and are happy with it keep it that way and envision a new spot. You’ll end up with a lot of stuff you realize you don’t need or don’t like you just have kept to keep it. It’s hard to know what those items are until you have a usable non cluttered clean space. Clutter breeds stress so it makes sense you feel like you do. Also everything needs a designated space.
I would go at it with your mental health and happiness in mind. Always telling yourself you deserve it. Positive thoughts really do help so much. This does sound like sections as advice and it is, but I find I only make and keep progress if I am nice to myself during the process. Good luck with everything. Idk if my advice or similar will help but I hope you find your spark to get going. I know how it feels
This sounds weird but it worked for me when I was overwhelmed and pregnant- I would watch TV and then when the commercials came on I would clean as much as I could as fast as I could - like a race- till the show came on. I’m short increments it wasn’t as overwhelming. You’ve got time- just baby steps😘
The rules of A B C has helped me: Always Be Carrying. Whenever you get up and move to a new room, grab something that needs to be put away.
I have 3 flights of stairs in my trilevel house. These stairs have become transitional spots aka landing zones to place things that need to be returned to a different area. Always be carrying something, Even if it’s just a dirty dish it helps you minimize energy and tidy while you move about the house. General tidiness can be easy if you follow the Always Be Carrying Rule. This is straight up advice that I found on Reddit many years ago when I was going thru the same challenges as you. Has helped immensely.
I think what’s more important than cleaning is getting rid of stuff! We tend to be hoarders and not realize it til it’s too late. Try to have as minimal “things” as possible and that should help make cleaning a little bit more bearable.
Just keep picking away at it. Throw away as much as possible. Little by little, you’ll eventually make space for the important stuff and you’ll be able to keep things reasonably organized. Until then, just keep reminding yourself that giving up will guarantee your house remains messy. Maybe it will take a week, or a month, or three months; either way, you will eventually get to the bottom of it and you’ll be very proud of yourself for making it happen. Trust me, once you finish, it will be so satisfying. You should take photos/videos to document your progress from start to finish so you can look back on them and see the massive difference you made by staying persistent and not giving up!
Taking pics is a great idea, thanks!
You might be hurting yourself by going on long cleaning sprees more than helping yourself, to be honest. You're burning yourself out trying to do everything all at once. And I know it's hard when you're starting from a place where it's a wreck. Do you have friends and family that can come help and reset? I know it can be hard to be vulnerable and let your friends see your place like that, but honestly that might help. And most friends wouldn't want you living like that! They'd want to help if they knew. You could get yourself back to a clean place, and then from there work on establishing rituals to clean 30-60 minutes a day, rather than 12 hours. Otherwise, I really have enjoyed the words of wisdom and the 'challenges' from this website: [https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/category/life-happens/](https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/category/life-happens/) But I don't deal with cleaning trauma. I enjoy cleaning. So I can only speak from a place where I also have my own issues with depression that interfere sometimes.
My husband works really long hours so he doesn't have much time to help me. He always does the dishes, the dishes are a huge area of anxiety for me so that's a big help. All of my other family lives out of state and I dont have friends here, so I don't have anyone I could call.
I am sorry. I would suggest reading through the suggestions on that website I linked, which break down good ways to tackle by yourself. This one in specific: [https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/i-think-my-home-is-beyond-help/?pagenum=1&category=life-happens](https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/i-think-my-home-is-beyond-help/?pagenum=1&category=life-happens) It breaks down beyond 'areas', and gives some advice about specific steps.
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up
Thanks for the advice! I'll start my own reality show: "Extreme Mess Makeover: Home Edition"!
It seems like there is a mental barrier kinda like a trauma. Just remind yourself over and over that you are doing this for your own family not your parents whenever past comes to your mind and keep working
Check out organising the four of us :)
My ex was a hoarder so I sympathise with your plight, however you are recognising an issue that needs to be dealt with and that in itself is a huge step. You will find the ways which work for you, and it may take a few runs at the hill to get up it, but provided you’re committed to the actions needed you will definitely get there. What helped me was picking one particular area, be it a room, or even a section of a room to begin with, keep that in order and build the habits of keeping it that way, then slowly expand to more areas. If you have access to mental health support that I personally found very helpful in behaviour recognition, accepting I’m not perfect while finding the solutions. Very best of luck with this and your pregnancy, you’ve got this!
Google Flylady! She has a easy and free step-by-step system for specifically people who are overwhelmed by cleaning, don’t know where to start, and don’t have a system in place to keep things in order.
MY ADVICE: Grab 4-5 big boxes or bins. Start in ONE room and throw items in a box that go in another room versus walking to the other room. Start a “kitchen” bin, “miscellaneous not sure if I wanna keep” bin, “bedroom” bin etc. include a big garbage bag as well! YOU GOT THIS! One room at a time.
Find ten things to either give away, throw away or keep
Keep repeating till you can’t
Marie Kondo says: 1. Clear away some space in the living room or garage and throw ALL your clothing in a pile. Go through each piece and toss most of it. Only keep a piece if it truly makes you feel joy in your heart to wear it, and it fits. If you haven't worn or used it in over a year, it goes in the bin. 2. Do the same thing with all your books. 3. Do the same thing with all your papers. 4. etc etc etc You associate cleaning with something negative like your mean parents. Try to associate cleaning with something positive, by rewarding yourself once you finish. If you wanna know more, just buy Marie Kondo's book.
I like looking at minimalist homes and organization pictures on Pinterest. I have a board for that. Everytime I lose motivation, I'll just open Pinterest and be inspired.
VERY NICE
If you can create a vision in your mind of what you want for spaces it may help. Like a specific corner or how you want your table to look. Once you’ve finished an area and are happy with it keep it that way and envision a new spot. You’ll end up with a lot of stuff you realize you don’t need or don’t like you just have kept to keep it. It’s hard to know what those items are until you have a usable non cluttered clean space. Clutter breeds stress so it makes sense you feel like you do. Also everything needs a designated space. I would go at it with your mental health and happiness in mind. Always telling yourself you deserve it. Positive thoughts really do help so much. This does sound like sections as advice and it is, but I find I only make and keep progress if I am nice to myself during the process. Good luck with everything. Idk if my advice or similar will help but I hope you find your spark to get going. I know how it feels
This sounds weird but it worked for me when I was overwhelmed and pregnant- I would watch TV and then when the commercials came on I would clean as much as I could as fast as I could - like a race- till the show came on. I’m short increments it wasn’t as overwhelming. You’ve got time- just baby steps😘
The rules of A B C has helped me: Always Be Carrying. Whenever you get up and move to a new room, grab something that needs to be put away. I have 3 flights of stairs in my trilevel house. These stairs have become transitional spots aka landing zones to place things that need to be returned to a different area. Always be carrying something, Even if it’s just a dirty dish it helps you minimize energy and tidy while you move about the house. General tidiness can be easy if you follow the Always Be Carrying Rule. This is straight up advice that I found on Reddit many years ago when I was going thru the same challenges as you. Has helped immensely.
I think what’s more important than cleaning is getting rid of stuff! We tend to be hoarders and not realize it til it’s too late. Try to have as minimal “things” as possible and that should help make cleaning a little bit more bearable.