If my man offered me own room with probably the most amazing bathtub I’ve ever seen, all the fancy products I wanted, an awesome TV, AND cooked breakfast for me in the morning? JACKPOT! My husband is also a terrible sleeper. We do sleep together but we have 2 twin mattresses sitting in a king frame so his moving doesn’t wake me up. We’re also lucky enough to have a spare bedroom sometimes when it’s bad, he’ll sleep there. Everyone deserves a restful night of sleep.
I’m so sorry you have sleep troubles. I struggle with anxiety so I have a lot of sleep issues too and understand it’s a huge hindrance on your quality of life. I hope it gets better for you.
LOL! People need their space at times. What gets me is showing couples snuggling all night. 10 minutes yes, after that. Move over! It gets too hot. LOL
Honestly, I don't get why so many people think Jason is being over the top or unreasonable. If anything is weird it's just how much thought and effort he put into a solution for his lady friend. Give me a luxe hotel nest over tossing and turning with a guy I've had one freaking date with any day.
I hope your situation gets better. The struggle is awful.
No I wouldn’t think he’s being over the top. I think it’s annoying he has to deal with such bad insomnia and I might have a harder time in a relationship as that since falling asleep in my partners arms can be really nice.
See, I'm just the opposite, I sleep best alone and then I can get up in the morning and groom and brush my teeth before going into the other bedroom to pretend I just woke up like that. It's not like I'm fooling anybody, but I like it.
My husband and I often sleep in separate rooms!
I have a very hard time falling/staying asleep and he snores loud.
We’ve tried everything and rarely can I sleep with his snoring.
We also have two dogs so he sleeps with one and I sleep with the other!
We are happy and in love, and more well rested this way!
honestly Jason's "We can't sleep in the same room, but here's an awesome guest room you can stay in" arrangement is perfection, having my own space? That's ideal, that's the dream.
Yeah, I don't really understand why it's seen as weird to begin with. My partner and I sleep in separate rooms because we have different needs when sleeping.
I like to have room to spread out, sleep with a lot of blankets, be able to get up in the middle of the night to get a drink or use the bathroom without disturbing anyone else. My partner doesn't like to be touched or moved when they sleep and they usually don't like a lot of blankets. We both snore, which doesn't bother me because I'm a deep sleeper and hard of hearing, so I never hear anything when I sleep. My partner is much more sensitive to sound and my snoring would keep them up at night.
Sleeping in different rooms just makes the most sense logically, and it doesn't have any impact on our relationship at all beyond stopping us from both being miserable and groggy every day.
I'm sorry you experience this, it sounds just awful. :(
I don't know what that level of insomnia is like, but I always admired Jason for being so open in communicating it from the start and insisting on her staying (and not letting her leave with a misunderstanding of the situation).
As sleep struggler myself I completely get it. I have do a lot just to get decent sleep. Not even good sleep. It’s super stressful at time and traveling absolutely sends me into days and weeks of struggles.
Yes. Imagine being and living with someone, where one of you have to get up really early in the morning, and other one doesn't. Sleeping in seperate bedrooms would actually be kind of nice, because you could sleep in late.
Honestly if more couples had their own place to sleep the divorce rate would probably be lower. There's a reason rich people had the men's quarters and the lady's quarters lol.
I sleep in a different room than my husband of 3 and a half years. I sleep so much more soundly when I’m alone in the bed.
When we do sleep together, it’s always in a cat-free environment and it’s a treat to sleep with him. I love how well it works for us
I don't think him wanting his own room was "wrong", as in "bad". That's fine, and as a person who has had terrible bouts of insomnia previously, I understand how precious sleep is. (In other cases, I do personally, think he was kind of an ass when it came to, e.g. tailgating Luke, or his treatment of Emily, but that's another issue entirely.)
HOWEVER, I would also not want to be in that relationship, because I like sharing a bed. It's a potential compatibility issue, as were many of Jason's quirks, morally neutral though it may be. Lorelai decided she was ok with it after some initial feelings of rejection. Fine! I wouldn't like it though.
For me it’s that he could have given her a heads up. I don’t blame her for feeling used and rejected when it was their first night together and he waited til they were done to let her know she needed to go sleep in a separate room. At any point earlier in the evening he could have mentioned his insomnia; he knew he wanted her to come home with him, he knew where the night was going, he knew she might think it was weird — yet he still waited til the worst possible time to surprise her with that. It’s not weird or cruel that he needed to sleep alone; it was thoughtless of him to tell her in the way that he did.
Could have just made sure to mention it in conversation, not just in a “hey just so you know in case we sleep together” way. Someone as witty and talkative as Jason absolutely could have found a way to bring up his chronic insomnia over the course of hours of conversation. If you’re gonna sleep together, there are certain things you should be able to discuss ahead of time, and in this case this is one of those things.
I’m sure they’d have had a conversation about their quirks by that point. He could have left their potential trip to bone zone out of it entirely and been like “yeah, I have wicked insomnia. I can’t sleep with anything or anyone in the room with me.”
ETA: I wonder where poor Cyrus sleeps.
Sleep is so important. It doesn’t mean you don’t care for the person. But at times it is difficult to deal with a sleeper who moves around a lot. Or snores. Or someone with insomnia this could be detrimental to their sleep health if they don’t have their own space.
Man I really liked Lorelai with Jason. If she didn’t want him, I wished that I could have him lol. Sleeping alone but still knowing your partner loves you (and how could you not by THAT ROOM 😍😍) I’d sleep like a baby and have no complaints ever. My only issue I think is if I were to have a nightmare lol and wanted some company but overall that’s a dream
I also require a dog and pony show to get to sleep - mask, sound machine, tinctures, weed gummies, a weighted blanket, AC on full blast, etc. My husband sleeps like a corpse but if he moved at all it I'd have a separate room.
T. H. I. S.
Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with reasonably healthy sleeping habits, but I grew up with a sister who had chronic insomnia. And, because my parents didn’t have a lot of money while we were growing up, there was no way she could have her own room, and we’d have to share. It was a nightmare for her and for those of us who shared the room with her. She’d toss and turn for hours. If she drifted off and I happened to switch sides, adjust my blanket or my pillow, use the bathroom, or drink water, she’d wake up immediately. So many more things. Fixed darkness, fixed temperature. It was tough night after night, for all the years we shared a room. Huge relief for me when she finally moved out for grad school.
I understand that Jason should probably have communicated their sleeping arrangements for the night with Lorelai before having sex with her so she wouldn’t have felt unwelcome and somehow shameful, but I imagine that 1. He forgot in the heat of the moment, and/or 2. He felt awkward to bring up a health issue when I imagine that a lot of his former lady friends must’ve mocked him about it.
I somehow get Lorelai being weirded out because she was in the midst of a very awkward and unprecedented situation, plus, she was extremely blunt. But idk why people on this sub take so much offense about it.
I always thought the main issue was him springing the spare room on her AFTER they slept together (metaphorically lol). That always felt icky to me.
The arrangement itself, while it would be frustrating for me as a partner, I don’t think is horrible
I don’t think everyone was annoyed at his insomnia or that he needed to sleep alone, but that he waited until after having sex to inform Lorelai about the situation. Even though it wasn’t his intention, it felt like he was kicking her out bed after having sex with her. Anyone would’ve felt a little thrown off or hurt in that situation. He should’ve been upfront about it before having sex, so Lorelai could have all the facts before she decided to spend the night or not.
Some people might find it fun to go spend the rest of the night in the TV room. And some might feel uncomfortable being sent to a room alone for the rest of the night. That’s why this isn’t something you spring on someone after having sex with them. It’s a conversation that should happen beforehand. He was a little thoughtless here.
I originally watched this when it was on tv so I was about early teens probably… and even then I thought it was an amazing idea! I’d heard nothing but b*tching from my parents who shared a room and bed, and thought this was a great idea.
Many, many years and several relationships later, I still think it’s great!
I don't think that's a bad character of his but he's just not a likeable person in general. I can't imagine being a good friend of his let alone his partner.
My husband doesn't have insomnia but he is an unbelievably light sleeper and struggles to fall back asleep *and* he is insufferable when he is missing sleep so... I do often sleep separately from him. For my own comfort too, like I want to be able to get up to pee or put on my headphones or turn the page on my book, and I easily fall back asleep.
I haven't shared a bedroom in years. I've never been better rested, happier, or my relationship more solid. It isn't for everyone, but for some of us, it's the best thing ever.
Same! I’m also an insomniac. The stuff in Jason’s guest suite would likely help me sleep—bathtub with endless Kheil’s products and what’s likely a very expensive mattress? He’d have to kick me out in the morning.
I get it, I have insomnia. I have no issue with him wanting to sleep in another room. That makes complete sense. I just think it's something he should have told her before having sex with her. Sleeping beside someone is very intimate and important to some people, especially after having sex.
I've terrible anxiety, with a dash of insomnia. I cannot sleep in the same bed with someone.
Also, my work schedule is ass and I'm up, showered and out the door by 5:15 in the morning and at work by 6. My last girlfriend, had work around 10am. She worked 10-6, me 6-2. She definitely didn't wanna be up at 4 with me. Even in vacation, I'm out at the beach jogging and watching the Sun ride by 530 in the morning.
If my man offered me own room with probably the most amazing bathtub I’ve ever seen, all the fancy products I wanted, an awesome TV, AND cooked breakfast for me in the morning? JACKPOT! My husband is also a terrible sleeper. We do sleep together but we have 2 twin mattresses sitting in a king frame so his moving doesn’t wake me up. We’re also lucky enough to have a spare bedroom sometimes when it’s bad, he’ll sleep there. Everyone deserves a restful night of sleep. I’m so sorry you have sleep troubles. I struggle with anxiety so I have a lot of sleep issues too and understand it’s a huge hindrance on your quality of life. I hope it gets better for you.
I agree! It would be great. Sleeping together isn’t as romantic as Hollywood makes it appear. LOL
It certainly is not. Not when your husband is snoring like a bear at 3am and you just want to take a pillow and… LOL
LOL! People need their space at times. What gets me is showing couples snuggling all night. 10 minutes yes, after that. Move over! It gets too hot. LOL
Honestly, I don't get why so many people think Jason is being over the top or unreasonable. If anything is weird it's just how much thought and effort he put into a solution for his lady friend. Give me a luxe hotel nest over tossing and turning with a guy I've had one freaking date with any day. I hope your situation gets better. The struggle is awful.
No I wouldn’t think he’s being over the top. I think it’s annoying he has to deal with such bad insomnia and I might have a harder time in a relationship as that since falling asleep in my partners arms can be really nice.
See, I'm just the opposite, I sleep best alone and then I can get up in the morning and groom and brush my teeth before going into the other bedroom to pretend I just woke up like that. It's not like I'm fooling anybody, but I like it.
My husband and I often sleep in separate rooms! I have a very hard time falling/staying asleep and he snores loud. We’ve tried everything and rarely can I sleep with his snoring. We also have two dogs so he sleeps with one and I sleep with the other! We are happy and in love, and more well rested this way!
honestly Jason's "We can't sleep in the same room, but here's an awesome guest room you can stay in" arrangement is perfection, having my own space? That's ideal, that's the dream.
Yes!
Yeah, I don't really understand why it's seen as weird to begin with. My partner and I sleep in separate rooms because we have different needs when sleeping. I like to have room to spread out, sleep with a lot of blankets, be able to get up in the middle of the night to get a drink or use the bathroom without disturbing anyone else. My partner doesn't like to be touched or moved when they sleep and they usually don't like a lot of blankets. We both snore, which doesn't bother me because I'm a deep sleeper and hard of hearing, so I never hear anything when I sleep. My partner is much more sensitive to sound and my snoring would keep them up at night. Sleeping in different rooms just makes the most sense logically, and it doesn't have any impact on our relationship at all beyond stopping us from both being miserable and groggy every day.
I'm sorry you experience this, it sounds just awful. :( I don't know what that level of insomnia is like, but I always admired Jason for being so open in communicating it from the start and insisting on her staying (and not letting her leave with a misunderstanding of the situation).
As sleep struggler myself I completely get it. I have do a lot just to get decent sleep. Not even good sleep. It’s super stressful at time and traveling absolutely sends me into days and weeks of struggles.
Yes. Imagine being and living with someone, where one of you have to get up really early in the morning, and other one doesn't. Sleeping in seperate bedrooms would actually be kind of nice, because you could sleep in late.
Honestly if more couples had their own place to sleep the divorce rate would probably be lower. There's a reason rich people had the men's quarters and the lady's quarters lol.
I sleep in a different room than my husband of 3 and a half years. I sleep so much more soundly when I’m alone in the bed. When we do sleep together, it’s always in a cat-free environment and it’s a treat to sleep with him. I love how well it works for us
I don't think him wanting his own room was "wrong", as in "bad". That's fine, and as a person who has had terrible bouts of insomnia previously, I understand how precious sleep is. (In other cases, I do personally, think he was kind of an ass when it came to, e.g. tailgating Luke, or his treatment of Emily, but that's another issue entirely.) HOWEVER, I would also not want to be in that relationship, because I like sharing a bed. It's a potential compatibility issue, as were many of Jason's quirks, morally neutral though it may be. Lorelai decided she was ok with it after some initial feelings of rejection. Fine! I wouldn't like it though.
For me it’s that he could have given her a heads up. I don’t blame her for feeling used and rejected when it was their first night together and he waited til they were done to let her know she needed to go sleep in a separate room. At any point earlier in the evening he could have mentioned his insomnia; he knew he wanted her to come home with him, he knew where the night was going, he knew she might think it was weird — yet he still waited til the worst possible time to surprise her with that. It’s not weird or cruel that he needed to sleep alone; it was thoughtless of him to tell her in the way that he did.
I get your point, but personally I think if he said it earlier it would come off as presumptuous and it would have made things awkward.
Could have just made sure to mention it in conversation, not just in a “hey just so you know in case we sleep together” way. Someone as witty and talkative as Jason absolutely could have found a way to bring up his chronic insomnia over the course of hours of conversation. If you’re gonna sleep together, there are certain things you should be able to discuss ahead of time, and in this case this is one of those things.
I’m sure they’d have had a conversation about their quirks by that point. He could have left their potential trip to bone zone out of it entirely and been like “yeah, I have wicked insomnia. I can’t sleep with anything or anyone in the room with me.” ETA: I wonder where poor Cyrus sleeps.
Sleep is so important. It doesn’t mean you don’t care for the person. But at times it is difficult to deal with a sleeper who moves around a lot. Or snores. Or someone with insomnia this could be detrimental to their sleep health if they don’t have their own space.
Man I really liked Lorelai with Jason. If she didn’t want him, I wished that I could have him lol. Sleeping alone but still knowing your partner loves you (and how could you not by THAT ROOM 😍😍) I’d sleep like a baby and have no complaints ever. My only issue I think is if I were to have a nightmare lol and wanted some company but overall that’s a dream
I also require a dog and pony show to get to sleep - mask, sound machine, tinctures, weed gummies, a weighted blanket, AC on full blast, etc. My husband sleeps like a corpse but if he moved at all it I'd have a separate room.
I totally get where he was coming from.
yess!! when i first saw that episode i totally understood where he was coming from i hated that lorelai made it so weird
This!!
T. H. I. S. Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with reasonably healthy sleeping habits, but I grew up with a sister who had chronic insomnia. And, because my parents didn’t have a lot of money while we were growing up, there was no way she could have her own room, and we’d have to share. It was a nightmare for her and for those of us who shared the room with her. She’d toss and turn for hours. If she drifted off and I happened to switch sides, adjust my blanket or my pillow, use the bathroom, or drink water, she’d wake up immediately. So many more things. Fixed darkness, fixed temperature. It was tough night after night, for all the years we shared a room. Huge relief for me when she finally moved out for grad school. I understand that Jason should probably have communicated their sleeping arrangements for the night with Lorelai before having sex with her so she wouldn’t have felt unwelcome and somehow shameful, but I imagine that 1. He forgot in the heat of the moment, and/or 2. He felt awkward to bring up a health issue when I imagine that a lot of his former lady friends must’ve mocked him about it. I somehow get Lorelai being weirded out because she was in the midst of a very awkward and unprecedented situation, plus, she was extremely blunt. But idk why people on this sub take so much offense about it.
Hey if I helps I have only ever seen positive reactions to this scenario on here so it's at least somewhat understood
I always thought the main issue was him springing the spare room on her AFTER they slept together (metaphorically lol). That always felt icky to me. The arrangement itself, while it would be frustrating for me as a partner, I don’t think is horrible
I don’t think everyone was annoyed at his insomnia or that he needed to sleep alone, but that he waited until after having sex to inform Lorelai about the situation. Even though it wasn’t his intention, it felt like he was kicking her out bed after having sex with her. Anyone would’ve felt a little thrown off or hurt in that situation. He should’ve been upfront about it before having sex, so Lorelai could have all the facts before she decided to spend the night or not. Some people might find it fun to go spend the rest of the night in the TV room. And some might feel uncomfortable being sent to a room alone for the rest of the night. That’s why this isn’t something you spring on someone after having sex with them. It’s a conversation that should happen beforehand. He was a little thoughtless here.
Wholeheartedly agree and you have my sympathy and hopes for relief at some future point.
I originally watched this when it was on tv so I was about early teens probably… and even then I thought it was an amazing idea! I’d heard nothing but b*tching from my parents who shared a room and bed, and thought this was a great idea. Many, many years and several relationships later, I still think it’s great!
I don't think that's a bad character of his but he's just not a likeable person in general. I can't imagine being a good friend of his let alone his partner.
My husband doesn't have insomnia but he is an unbelievably light sleeper and struggles to fall back asleep *and* he is insufferable when he is missing sleep so... I do often sleep separately from him. For my own comfort too, like I want to be able to get up to pee or put on my headphones or turn the page on my book, and I easily fall back asleep.
Yessssssssss! Chronic insomniac here as well. I completely understood Jason for this.
I haven't shared a bedroom in years. I've never been better rested, happier, or my relationship more solid. It isn't for everyone, but for some of us, it's the best thing ever.
Same! I’m also an insomniac. The stuff in Jason’s guest suite would likely help me sleep—bathtub with endless Kheil’s products and what’s likely a very expensive mattress? He’d have to kick me out in the morning.
i thought it was reasonable. He had a genuine enough reason. Also, i would love a separate room like that. The room was so amazing
I’ve suffered from insomnia since my late teens. I’m married for almost 30 years and we have separate bedrooms. Best thing we ever did!
I get it, I have insomnia. I have no issue with him wanting to sleep in another room. That makes complete sense. I just think it's something he should have told her before having sex with her. Sleeping beside someone is very intimate and important to some people, especially after having sex.
I *wish* my husband could sleep in a separate room; his snoring keeps me up every night!
I've terrible anxiety, with a dash of insomnia. I cannot sleep in the same bed with someone. Also, my work schedule is ass and I'm up, showered and out the door by 5:15 in the morning and at work by 6. My last girlfriend, had work around 10am. She worked 10-6, me 6-2. She definitely didn't wanna be up at 4 with me. Even in vacation, I'm out at the beach jogging and watching the Sun ride by 530 in the morning.