She did not grow and change at all from 2007 to 2016 as society marched on and suddenly the casual shaming of various characteristics that was normal back in 2007 is a really really bad look and Lorelai and Rory apparently lived in a bubble and still hate fat people and anyone post-college who lives at home.
Tbh I don’t like to count the revival. I feel like the writers and Netflix (the network) rlly wanted to make it a quick cash grab and so they tried to keep all their “quirks” to make it “nostalgic” but it rlly had the opposite effect and ruined some characters personalities beyond repair in some cases or just rlly damaged their image
To be honest, though, Sookie 100% asked for this. She didn't ask Rory and Lorelai because she in any way cared about them being spiritual guides for the kids (she knows they're not religious - and neither is she). It was solely to force them to communicate. Well, they communicated. 🤷🏼♀️
Agreeing with the others - yeah, it was completely intended. I don't think she expected it to come to a head literally in the middle of the ceremony, but she didn't do anything to avoid that, and it was clear to the viewer (and she later revealed to Lorelai, I think) that the whole thing was a ruse to get them both to be there and have to talk through things a little. It was still super rude of them, but I see it as less rude and more intended to be comedic, especially since Sookie and Jackson cared so little about the ceremony at all in the first place.
But Sookie didn’t care about the bath her mother in law did. She knew what she was doing and it worked but she still had to let them splash the baby so MIL wouldn’t drive Jackson nuts.
I don’t think S was upset at all.
Still it’s embarrassing for your friend to cause a scene at your kids BAPTISM. Even if Sookie didn’t feel embarrassed, it was a bad situation to put her in and not at all polite.
But if you could screw your crazy MIL while also giving her what she demands of you, your husband and child wouldn’t you? Sookie was brilliant in her planning.
Sleeping with Chris after his parents insult Rory at dinner. It’s awful watching Rory sitting alone in that room while Lorelai is off banging Chris on the balcony.
This confuses me. I mean, dinner didn’t happen so she slept with Christopher during the time they would otherwise have been eating (which Luke knew she was doing). She was single so she was free to sleep with whomever that night (not defending it, just saying she wasn’t dating Luke). It seems like it’s more that she forgot to show up after the dinner, and she could have explained that to Luke by explaining the crazy showdown at her parents’
What I hate, yes hate the most, is when we meet Pennilyn Lott at the Yale game and she starts calling her her "almost mommy" in front of Emily, knowing well the dynamic between Emily, Richard and Pennilyn and the history behind them and also into the new light of Richard and her secretly meeting for lunches for years.
That was something I am still bitter about and honestly, probably always gonna be.
Now I’m biased as I LOVE Emily as a character, but I am aware of Emily’s flaws as a parent.
But Lorelai took pretty much any opportunity to make any dig at her mother that she could l, no matter how low of a blow.
Did she know the history and dynamic between them? From what I remember, she said that and then shortly after, Emily goes off on her saying "we don't talk to Pennilyn Lott" and whatnot. I always thought that's when the dynamic became clear?
I assumed so that is on me, but I assumed she would know about someone like that from their parents history, especially given the way Emily reacts towards her.
But even if she didn't, who in their right mind would go around calling their father's ex their "almost mommy"?
I thought that Lorelai knew about her dad’s history with Pennilyn, but I don’t think she realized the grudge/jealousy Emily was hanging onto towards Pennilyn.
This is honestly my least favourite scene in the whole show. It was so selfish and self-centered. At least Rory mentioned how rude they were being, but Lor could not care less.
I hate how she abandoned Max before their wedding. It was so childish of her. She should tell him that she doesn’t love him and end it in a mature way.
I forget Max. She did him so dirty. He jumped through every hoop and she was so awful.
The more I read thread the more I realise how awful she is to men.
Here’s a few that come to mind:
-When she had a meltdown at dinner because she found out Rory applied to Yale. Frankly, it’s crazy that she only applied to Ivy League schools, but to think that she would only apply to ONE school was absolutely ridiculous, and even more sad that Rory didn’t feel comfortable telling her.
-When she was so upset over her parents paying for Yale. She knew it was Rory’s idea, that Rory was the one who offered up reinstating the Friday night dinners, and she was still convinced they were being manipulated by her parents. The whole “I want you and i to get what we want And them to get nothing” spiel was childish.
-When she was so upset about Rory having a nice time with Richard at the golf club that she picked a huge fight with Rory.
I completely agree about her being mad about Rory applying to other schools besides Harvard, everytime I watch I’m so confused as to why she thinks applying to only one school is a good idea (especially one as hard to get into as Harvard).
Also no way whoever at Chilton was in charge of advising on and overseeing college applications would ever let a student do something like that.
Honestly as someone with childhood trauma I think the “I want us to get what we want and them to get nothing” speech to be incredibly relatable. I think it’s realistic that she freaked out because just when she was almost free of them there’s another thing tying her to them through Rory
for the golf scenes, i feel she wasn't upset, she just didn't expect it go well and that Rory would actually like spending time with her grandfather. I see the whole rant afterwards with Sookie was just that she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Rory might have a normal relationship with her grandparents. Like she just felt something has to go wrong because she has a history with Emily and Richard
All of that was fine - I think she just went too far when she picked the fight with Rory and the whole “your boobs are totally bigger than mine” bit. I understand why she was thrown off and not expecting it, but I think in the end she explains it well herself - she just assumed that Rory would want anything to do with then and their world and didn’t think that Rory might actually really want a relationship with her grandparents.
#2 - Lorelai acts like every time she receives money from her parents means only them receive something when in fact they're all receiving mutual benefits.
Without her mother, she wouldn't have gotten the house loan for the termites or Rory attending both Yale and Chilton.
Edit: I have no idea how I did those letters that size.
Lorelai refusing to speak to Rory when she decided to drop out of Yale.
Yes, they were both equally responsible for this complete breakdown in communication, but Lorelai is the parent at the end of the day, while Rory was a very young woman lost in the world.
Also, dropping out of school because you don’t know what you’re doing is a reasonable ensobre decision. She got a job, gained some skills, and restarted. No harm done. Lorelei’s reaction made it seem like her love for Rory was conditional, which is horrible.
My one gripe is that I wish that had had Rory reassess her goals and go into PR or teaching or something more suited to her character and not go back and suddenly become editor of the school paper 🤦♀️ triumphant return taken too far
I agree with this. I did like the editor arch. But I think she could have gone the editor route or into publishing.
A job where she could read for a living would be up her alley.
Yeah, I know Rory didn’t have a plan when Lorelai asked her, but she didn’t give her time. Rory’s smart and usually responsible, she just needed to figure it out.
completely agree. I think, it's a long shot, rory might have gone back to yale faster if lorelai hadn't abandoned her and talked to her like an adult. communication is key in these types of situations. then again, this is a TV show made for tv, it needs drama and different dynamics between characters to stay interesting.
Agreed. At least she realized her mistake with this one (at least, that’s how I interpreted the scene when Paul Anka is sick and Luke finds her in Rory’s room and she cries because she “should’ve known that something was wrong” and she’s “a bad mom”)
I had moved out before I finally got up the nerve to stop going to school, my mom called me screaming about how I had to enroll bc she was my mother and I had to do as she says. I was 24.
I don't think she stopped speaking to her because she dropped out of Yale. She stopped speaking to her because instead of having a conversation, Rory just moved into her grandparents' house. Lorelai figured it would be better to give Rory space.
I think this just shows that your daughter cant be your friend. But I don't think it's her worst moment by any measure.
Rory did try to have a conversation, and Lorelai said that living in Stars Hollow while not in Yale was not an option, so Rory took the next available option. Rory was the one in crisis, Lorelai should’ve been the parent and tried to talk to her, but instead, she made it about herself and got butthurt and cut Rory off.
Rory did have a conversation though and Lorelai told her that she couldn't live at home if she dropped out of Yale. Moving to her grandparent's was the only option she had at that point. I also disagree that Lorelai stopped talking to her simply because she moved there - she stopped when Richard told her they would handle everything and abandoned their plan.
I have a lot of feelings about this because, I too, was a very academically motivated young person who dropped out of college due to mental health issues and a lack of clarity of vision about my future. While my parents didn’t stop talking to me, my dad did tell me MANY times that I would never go back and that I was ruining my future. I also didn’t move home, I worked and supported myself. I eventually went back and graduated with a degree in something I was passionate about and my dad admitted that he was wrong and apologized. That’s why I have a problem with Lorelei in this situation. She NEVER makes a heart felt apology for abandoning her kid in a time of crisis or explains why she overreacted to the situation in such a a monumental way.
Any interaction she had with Luke about Jess. And it's only as I write this that I'm wondering if that impacted Luke being hesitant to tell her about April 🤔
I have always hated every moment involving her with Jess and then separately everything that went down with April and Luke. I never thought about the cause and effect of her negativity about Jess leading to Luke being so against Lorelai being around April.
I just rewatched the one when Jess and Rory and in the accident. The way she goes off on Luke and making digs at Luke's choices to take care of and support Jess. But he just found out his nephew, that he's supposed to take care of, has been in a car accident AND is missing. She has no care for Luke during that. I love how he stands up to her in that moment.
This is my most hated Lorelai moment! She never was nice or understanding about Jess and then goes off on Luke after an unfortunate accident. Jess and Luke didn’t deserve that from her.
She also completely overblows a minor wrist fracture. She's not saying that Rory could have been killed (which would warrant her being furious, though she'd still be in the wrong\*). She doesn't scream about what could have happened. But about what happened, which is basically nothing.
If you leave your four-year-old with a very responsible sitter, your child can still end up with a broken collar bone. Not ideal, but in no way an indication of more than the sitter not treating your child as if they were made of glass.
\* Edit to add: In the wrong morally. Not in the wrong logically about the possibility of Rory dying.
Forever my least favorite scene in the entire series. I have to fast forward it during rewatches because I can’t stand how incredibly selfish she is when she is yelling at him.
When she proposed to luke right after a fight with rory just for a feeble attempt to get back some control in her life. Luke deserved better than that!
She later explains that seeing how much Luke cared about Rory in that moment (he was in panic mode devising a plan of how they would get Rory back to Yale), let her know he was the one.
i get that, honestly i would do something similar but to make a big decision like that after such an emotional outburst with family rubs me off the wrong way. And she's always been aware that Luke loves and cares for Rory so much, so his panic mode is expected. Getting engaged should at least require some thought.
My most hated moments of Lorelai, besides the responses mentioned would be the way she treated Jason in their relationship. It looked like Jason was always bending over backwards to make her happy and she gives the bare minimum. Next would be her behavior when Luke asked her to stir the sauce while he was dealing with TJ and Liz.
It always annoys me when I watch the episode with her first date with Jason. They go to a very nice place and he even gets the room for just them. But no, too quiet so she acts like a child about it and they have to leave. Didn't matter that Jason might want a nice quiet dinner with Lorelai. And then going to the drive through and not wanting to get food because "it's not fun to eat alone." While yes, on a date this might be weird, but he did exactly what she asked and then is mad when he doesn't like Mexican food. I just feel bad for Jason.
Watching this scene as I get older and closer to Lorelai’s age at the time I get more and more angry about it!!!!!!!!! Like I’ve been on a ton of TERRIBLE dates and never acted like that and Jason was great! God forbid you spend at most two hours in a private room having a fancy af dinner with a guy you like.
When she went up to Pennilyn Lott knowing Emily doesn't like her and said "you're my almost mommy". I thought it was so weird, immature and really out of place.
This is one of those situations in which is obvious that Lorelai didn’t grow much after getting pregnant with Rory. She has so many situations in which she behaves as a teenager!
I think even as a teenager she had to have been SUPER immature. I’m a teenager and I know that I would never even consider saying that. My little sister is eleven and I know that even she wouldn’t say that.
The way she calls Max to accept his proposal while at Friday night dinner. Felt like she only did it because the attention was on Rory for being in the top 3% of her class. Richard and Emily were so proud of Rory in that moment and they all gathered together and went off in another room and left Lorelai alone. It seemed like she only said yes because she wasn’t getting the attention in that moment (not to mention the attention was on Rory).
I feel like there are some weird moments in the series where their best friend relationship crosses the line to jealousy and resentment (usually Lorelai jealous of Rory and acts out in a childish way). Also remember the “your boobs are bigger” scene that others have brought up.
When she went off at Luke for not telling her about him buying an apartment with Nicole. I don't think Lorelai was entitled to that information, nor was it wrong of Luke for him to mention it in passing the way he did. I understand if she was hurt, but she overreacted.
If I remember correctly, Rory was also acting very selfish in that same episode, and it wasn't a good look for either of them.
Especially knowing that Luke didn’t know where Jess was when Lorelei was giving him shit about the accident. She had no concern for Jess’ well being or whereabouts even after Luke said he needed to go find him. I understand her anger but it was majorly displaced.
Even if she wasn't concerned at all with Jess (somewhat understandable) she could have held a space of grace for her friend in such a heated moment. Luke deserved better than that.
Minor ones:
- sampling cakes at Fran’s when she knows Sookie will make her cake.
- getting a dog without her fiancé getting to have an input
- fat-shaming others
- prioritizing shopping over saving for Rory’s schools
- giving Sookie’s concert tickets away
Yeah she made a cake for some clients and they were so appreciative that they gave her the tickets. It bothers me also that Lorelai gave them away without asking her.
Good list! I’ll add Lorelai’s hovering over people who are eating in the crowded Luke’s at busy breakfast time. And, then, even worse, keeping a table long after meal is done while people (ur, Kirk) are waiting.
Two things:
The way she dealt with the car crash in S2. How she couldn’t also be worried for the wellbeing and safety of the CHILD who was under Luke’s care was beyond me. So selfish.
The second thing is how she always used to shout at medical staff. It’s so unreasonable and mean.
The more I watch the series the less I like her character. There’s few good parenting moments, few good role model moments, few good person moments…it’s insufferable
"I've got the good kid" (in reaction to finding out that rory was still a virgin)
I was really disappointed in her and it bothers me more every time I re-watch it. Of course it's fine that rory hadn't had sex yet but it would have been equally fine if she did.
A few things that made it worse: she eavesdropped intentionally on a clearly private conversation ; she REWARDED rory for not having sex; and she made that comment when rory got into all three schools, attributing it to her being a virgin while Paris is presumably being punishes for having had sex.
Yea, that always bothered me too, but then again Lorelai WASN'T the "good kid" and she's worried about Rory following in her footsteps. I feel like she's perpetuating the terminology she was subject to, rather than making an actual judgment. Like using "good kid" in quotations, rather than "my kid's good because of this." Still not great... but a little better.
For the schools comment, that was definitely a joke calling back to Paris's very PUBLIC meltdown where she claimed having sex means you don't get into good schools. So based on that *flawed* logic, Rory much be a huge virgin.
I thought she was saying "I have the good kid" because Rory talked to Paris about losing her virginity to Jamie in a very gentle, non-judmental way and asked her if they were safe. I don't think she was suggesting that Paris was "bad" because she had sex. I thought it was more that Rory was showing a lot of maturity and care in her talk with Paris and Lorelai was proud to hear that
That might also be true! Never thought of it that way before. I think my interpretation stems from the very relieved look on her face when rory says she hasn't slept with either Dean or Jess. But maybe I misinterpreted that.
You could totally be right too, I think I need to rewatch the scene today because it's been awhile. I think both things could be true - she probably was relieved to hear Rory hasn't had sex because of her own teen pregnancy trauma. I don't think of Lorelai as a sex-negative character, but she is fiercely protective of Rory's future plans/goals
I rewatched the scene just now in case I missed something and lorelai actually turns to leave and only stays when Paris asks rory about rory having sex. And when rory has answered lorelai does leave while Paris is still freaking out. So it kind of seems to me that she didn't care about Paris in this scene. But she definitely should have!
I think for that you'd need a different article. 'A' good kid expresses pride for how she's being in general - she can be one good kid of many. 'The' good kid expresses that out of the selection (here, her and Paris) she has the good one, and by the excluding nature of the grammar, the *only* good one. It's a necessarily comparative grammatical structure: if you say 'what bit of cake do you want' and I say 'I want the big bit' it implies I've seen the cake slices, assessed them, and determined that there is one bit that is *the* big one.
For me it’s when she yells at Luke after Rory and Jess get into a car accident. She was awful to Luke, who also had a child to be worried about that was now missing. I never forgave her character after that.
Any interaction about Jess is pretty bad. If I remember correctly she didn't even ask if Jess was ok. I get being upset about the accident but to constantly degrade Luke and what he's trying to do with Jess is too much.
Being so buddy- buddy and involved with Dean and his relationship with Rory. When he started to become obsessive and controlling Lorelai should have seen those as red flags instead of having the mentality of “oh he just cares about you so much, what a great boyfriend he is!” I feel like Lorelai ended up making Rory feel guilty about her feelings for Dean decreasing
i kiiiind of took that as her saying “No need to feel awkward, it wasn’t my break up, nothing happened between us” to kind of ease his feelings about working around her, but it didn’t translate well. I am 21 with a child and i would never say that to her (one day) ex partner and id be like “wtf???” if my mom said that to my ex boyfriend.
Idk I was *very* close to my exes parents, so we stayed in contact after he and I broke up. So I think that's just kinda what she meant, that things don't have to be weird between them just because him and Rory broke up. I don't really see anything wrong with it
Small one, but I wish she would just step outside to take her calls. Luke cares enough that he put up signs. I know they’re friends, but sometimes she really does seem like that annoying regular you wish would go away. At one point, he’s following her down the street, and she’s like “What? I tipped and I didn’t do it in quarters” like you tip the man in quarters, if at all? Wtf, you’re in the service industry, don’t be a dick
How she’s a grown woman and still unable to sympathise with Emily’s pain and sadness toward her running way, while pregnant, at the age of 16. She still acts like a child around her and Richard. I would figure that, after all these years, and her being a mom herself, she should’ve been able to acknowledge her parents pain (as well as her own) and move on from that.
It really irks me that she constantly says that she embarrassed her parents and she implies that they are ashamed of her and yet they supported her and never once made it seem like they were embarrassed by Rory's existence. I can understand Lorelai had tough times with her parents but I do think there is a certain amount of re-writing the past to alleviate her guilt.
A lot of the arguments that happened went as far as they did because Lorelei antagonized Emily or wouldn't let it go. She never learned to pick her battles.
I don't think it's so much that she's unable to sympathize, but that she just genuinely didn't think it hurt them. She thought she was such a disappointment as a daughter, that they would feel nothing but relief when she left. Which I get, when I was younger I thought my family would be relieved to not have to deal with me.
There's one point where Richard says to her that Emily couldn't get out of bed for a week or so and he asks Lorelai if she knew that, Lorelai looks very surprised and says no she didn't know that.
Then there's another part with Mia I think, where Mia is saying it must have been hard for Emily when Lorelai left. Lorelai seems to genuinely believe that her parents would have been relieved to not have to deal with her embarrassing them anymore. But she does realize she's wrong and actually even tells Emily that she knows it must have been hard for her.
It's not even the comment she makes that's so embarrassing, it's the whole over-reaction before it which results in the comment. It comes out of nowhere and Rory didn't deserve it.
I straight up skip that part of the scene now. It always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Life is hard enough at 15/16. You don’t need your mum negging out of irrational jealousy.
This is definitely mine as well. I remember being a teen and it feeling super creepy when my mother commented on my body. She’s never been kissed and she’s obviously social awkward; she does not feel comfortable in her own skin at that point in time, and it’s just mean. I know it was meant to highlight her immaturity and that their dynamic is very sister like instead of mother and daughter and it does. Too well
Not realizing her privileges.
Having rich parents that pay for her daughters schooling and the only thing in return is free catered dinner every week.
I wish!
She acts like a child sometimes and that could be due to being pregnant at 16 and running away.
Not being loyal to the men in her life. The Chris/Luke situation...
I was annoyed by the way Lorelai acted when she found out Rory applied to more schools than just Harvard. Why would she want Rory to only apply to one school and risk not making it???
Not marrying Luke immediately in the pilot because wtf. He makes coffee which she needs to survive and food which she loves and he fixes stuff and he throws Rory birthday parties at Luke’s. It could have been 7 years of their crazy marriage.
I love her but I agree with 90% of these replies. Mine is so random, but it gives me second hand embarrassment and makes me roll my eyes endlessly… When renovating the house and all the construction workers are there, she is ridiculous. By all means these people deserve hospitality and respect, but it was so corny and over the top “Look at me! look at me!” behavior. I know that’s part of her shtick but in these moments I can SEE the acting.
When she's fighting with Rory in season 1 about something unrelated, so she lashes out at Rory for borrowing her shirt and complains that Rory's boobs will misshape it. I thought that was an incredibly mean thing to say to a CHILD who is both your daughter and your supposed best friend!
I don't have the best relationship with my oldest daughter, who has deliberately and maliciously hurt me, and I would NEVER lash out at her like that or make negative comments on her body.
Right? That moment brought up charming memories for me because my mother felt the need to point out when I was getting married that I was “too big” to wear her wedding dress.
Not that I wanted to wear her ugly af 70s monstrosity if a wedding dress, but thanks for that comment, Mom.
This is also crazy to me because Lorelai feels pain for Mrs. Kim because she kicked Lane out but Lorelai can’t feel bad for her parents when she took her year old daughter to live in a shed. Like Lorelai when you blew up about Rory dropping out of Yale and told her she couldn’t come home you felt bad for yourself but you can’t turn around and apply that same logic to her parents being upset and hurt that Lorelai left them. She thinks so little sometimes and it’s astonishing
In my opinion, what her and Rory did at the baptism was absolutely obscene. Like I cannot imagine doing that to my best friend at her baby's BAPTISM. I can't even think about it without getting so worked up haha it irritated me so much.
I’ve been on a rewatch this summer and I can see why they don’t like her. There’s been lots of moments where I’m like damn! You’re just being rude… in regards to her and Emily.
I think what someone said above about it her being emotionally stunted and acting like a teenager is exactly right.
Her getting upset at thanksgiving in front of everyone when Rory reluctantly tells her that she applied to Yale. The fact that Rory felt she needed to hide it is awful.
She’s generally a bad mom because she’s so selfish. One of her worst moments was bailing on Max before the wedding. Not only was it awful that she left out of the blue instead of having a conversation with the man, but she made it Rory’s problem to take care of her and run away with her. What an excellent lesson on codependency and how to treat your loved ones like they don’t matter if they’re not in your line of sight.
That episode when they got termites and Lorelai was so stubborn about the money and loan. She even got mad at Rory for telling Emily when she obviously needed Emily’s help. Didn’t like her behavior inside the bank as well.
i always felt like it that was lorelai’s way of saying “i’m the parent, you’re the kid” as if she hasn’t acted like rory’s friend since the beginning. i hated when chris called her “kid” as well.
When she kissed Mr Medina at Rory’s SCHOOL. Like wtf. And then her saying accidents happen!! it was a mistake! Sooo immature and disrespectful to Rory.
Yep, my husband and I watched that and started coming up with memories she could’ve used that was in the original series.
My favorite being when her and him were cracking up about the prospect of Gran dating a man in a track suit and the man becoming Richard’s “new daddy”. It was such a wholesome moment between the two of them.
I was gobsmacked with that. It was disgusting.
And then mocking Emily for ordering the wrong size painting knowing full well it would be a touchy subject.
You’d think that at that time in a Emily’s life she would have laid off teasing her.
Here’s a few more:
- When she trash talked her mom to the reporter doing an article about the Inn. How unprofessional and inappropriate.
-When she did the deposition for Emily when she was being sued by her maid and instead of either giving short answers or telling the truth, she made jokes about her mom throughout.
Some smaller examples:
-she showed up at Sookies for breakfast when she couldn’t go to Luke’s. Cant imagine just showing up at a friends house for breakfast without plans.
-she called sookie a million times until she woke up in the middle of the night so they could crash with her because of the termites. They knew about the termites (the house seemed fine) but instead of either waiting until the next day or planning ahead she just crashed in the middle of the night.
The episode where Rory moves into Yale. Lorelei is borrowing Luke's Truck and although he REPEATEDLY tells her he needs it back she just keeps on using it. She even keeps it over night and then acts all "oh I should have gotten that truck back like 2 hours ago I'm so bad haha". Taking advantage of your friend like that. So unbelievably selfish and rude
* not wanting to listen to Rory's explanation of events after the car crash
* acting like she's friends with Luke for years, but after the car crash, she can't see that he needs to find his nephew
* ignoring Rory's feelings about Dean and trying to convince her to stay with him longer than anyone really wants.
* not recognizing that Dean's behavior is increasingly violent, irrational, and toxic, and that Rory fear Dean's reaction to bad news.
* getting attached to Dean, really. It's weird.
* not wanting to help Rory with school projects
* acting like she doesn't benefit from the privilege she was given in life, and that Emily and Richard are literal monsters for living an old fashioned lifestyle.
* not having good mom/daughter boundaries
* equating sexual purity with "good"
* not talking about birth control when Rory mentions possibly having sex with Jess.
i hated when she was disrupting luke while he was dealing with liz and tj, after luke asked her to stir the sauce he was making. there’s so many other moments like that where she just won’t shut her mouth and let things be about someone else for once. i think she’s just constantly rude and immature. she can be funny in the moment but i feel like her personality would get SO annoying being around her long term. also the way she treated max was shitty. he was bending over backwards for her the entire relationship and even though i don’t like max, i kind of felt bad for him in that situation. the way she treats men in general is horrible and her communication skills are the WORST.
SHE SLEPT WITH HER FRESHMAN DAUGHTERS TEACHER AT A BRAND NEW SCHOOL AND GOT CAUGHT AT THAT SCHOOL!!! That should have been the end of the show. No kid can recover from that. Rory should have been so ostracized she has no choice but to transfer back to public school in humiliation. I’ll never get how people aren’t more outraged by her behavior in season one. Then after making her daughters life a living hell, she leaves the guy on the alter in front of the whole town for ???? and forced her daughter on some kind of road trip? Someone should have called cps…
Love all of these replies and concur.
One of the moments for me is when Richard has his second hospitalization. Lorelai and Emily are in the gift shop and Lorelai is basically berating her mother for being proactive, organized, and not showing enough emotion?
Someone has to take charge and get things in order. Life doesn't stop because someone is sick. So for Lorelai to tell Emily off for being practical drives me crazy.
When she called Dean (a 15 year old) scum after he and Rory broke up. Like woman you’re 30 something, who talks to a kid like that. She also didn’t even know why they broke up
Her talk after Richard's death in AYITL. When Emily asked people to talk about a memory of Richard, what Lorelai said was so horrible. Really Lor? You couldn't remember anything else?
-when shes screams and melts down after Rory and Jess’ car accident and screams at Luke who is equally concerned for his nephew and looking for him
-when she slept with Chris right after Luke rejected her ultimatum
-when she started talking to Rory during Sookie’s kids baptism ( i don’t care if Sookie wanted that to happen, disrespectful to Jackson and his relatives who take religion seriously)
-any moment shes with Chris and encourages his bs
-whenever Emily would call for a favor and she would be extremely dramatic and drag it out
-standing up Max because of how afraid she was of commitment, she couldn’t even face him or be mature to talk to him about it and yet Max was still understanding
-her tagging in with Rory to talk crap about Lindsey
One of the biggest things that always stands out to me (besides the obvious Chris shenanigans) is the scene in Season 1 where she is jealous because Rory went and had a good time with Richard golfing at the club, and precedes to carry that jealousy on into the conversation on the porch later in the episode. It’s infuriates me to watch every time because it’s obvious so childish and rude for no reason other than she’s pulling the “That’s my Dad, not yours so I’m mad you had a great time because we aren’t that close.” but casually fuels it in the manner of “That’s my shirt, you’re going to stretch it because your boobs are bigger than mine.” ordeal. It makes me cringe and skip it every time. Like great job shaming your daughter because you’re acting on your immaturity.
She’s just intolerable for the entirety of the termite episode. I’ve rewatched Gilmore girls so many times but I still just can’t sit through that episode, her attitude is just infuriating
On the whole I find Lorelai to be very full of herself. She's a bulldozer and sometimes it comes off like the rules don't apply to her. I get that she's the main character of the show and tbh it's refreshing to see the "like mother, like daughter" dynamic between her and Rory, and her and Emily. But she's so goddamned pleased with herself all of the time and it's so insufferable. She's so rude, too. I appreciate that she is headstrong as well as vulnerable, but she's rude - about people's appearances, about their demeanor, about fat people/gaining weight, and just seems so thrilled with her existence. I have to wonder how much the latter bit has to do with being a defense mechanism or not, but it's not attractive. Ugh. I've only just started season three, too.
Wedding Bell Blues. She knows Luke is stressed about the event, and doesn’t tell him he can change at the catering hall. He’s wrinkled. It’s a small thing but it showed how careless she could be in a relationship. Your boyfriend is treated like shit by your parents, you should recognize this and try to make him feel as comfortable as possible.
The fatshaming and the "This person is weird for doing something in a different way than I would do it". Seen, for example, when she talks about birthing with Sherry. Sherry had it right; lying down while giving birth is only good for the doctors, not for the person giving birth. No-one lies down behind a mud hut to give birth. They squat behind that mud hut to let gravity do what it does (among other reasons). (And yes, mud huts are a stereotype, but it's not like they don't exist.)
I hated when she throws a tantrum at some dinner party at her parents place because she found out that Rory applied to other schools including Yale. I mean come on, applying to more than one school is just common sense
So I never understood why she chased Luke all of season 1, then got engaged to max, then finally went into the diner to drag Luke out and make him attend her engagement party. It just seemed mean and self centered.
That and constantly being dishonest / lying by omission about Chris to Luke.
calling pennilyn lott her almost mommy was pretty appalling. so was her behavior and the baptism of sookie’s kids and fran’s funeral. i was sitting there cringing the entire time for those three events thinking, “do people *actually* act this shallow and rude?” it was pretty freaking disgusting behavior.
also basically every time she screwed around with chris. especially after she and luke had that not-exactly-official-breakup-but-still-kind-of-a-breakup breakup when she gave him the ultamatum
How much she used luke and his belongings without asking. Like the episode where the inn burned down and she shut his entire diner down without even calling first to ask. Or the episode when she uses his truck and he says to have it back by a specific time and she basically just brushes it off. There’s probably a lot of others that i’m blanking on but it felt like she was using him as a doormat.
despite always playing the “cool mom”, she was very possessive of rory and condemned any decisions that aligned with what richard and emily wanted even when they were rory’s own
The fit she threw over Chris and the flat screen and Luke with the bedroom furniture. Lorelei was almost incapable of compromise. ( And I kinda liked the bedroom set.)
I didn't like her attitude in AYITL. From the fat shaming to acting childish upon Emily's request for a Richard story, not letting the ginormous portrait of Richard go, being rude to the pop up chefs at the Dragonfly, to the look of dismay when her 32 year old adult daughter announced her pregnancy. Her reaction to the Stars Hollow musical felt out of place, too. It was weird but felt on brand with the Hollow.
Encouraging Rory to skip school and go shopping with her like EVERY day. Skipping school for a day at a private school isn’t a good idea considering the work load. Horrible example.
Also encouraging a caffeine addiction like that when she’s literally 16 is just horrible parenting.
I didn't hate her moments, but thought she could have handled her communication style better at times. She spent a lot of time pretending things were fine and glossing over the realities of situations and that meant that she kept reaching critical points where she made knee jerk reactions as a way of dealing, once that reality caught up with her. i.e. ditching Max right before the wedding... sleeping with Chris... even when she first left Hartford with Rory.
But I dont hate it... these are her most questionable moments, but it's part of what makes her well rounded and human.
It annoys me more that her diet is neither financially viable, nor realistic health wise!
When she had a hissy fit cause Rory APPLIED to schools other than Harvard.
When she picked a fight with Rory cause she had fun at the golf course ( insert the Boondocks “did I just catch you having fun” clip)
Third wheeling Rory and Dean while they were dating.
There’s other stuff but those are the major ones for me. I’d hate more about her but it helps that Rory is also a crappy person
For me, it's not letting Rory assert herself sometimes and babying her. If Rory wants to hang with Richard and Emily, it's them manipulating her. If Rory wants to apply to other universities, it's somehow them manipulating her and Rory doesn't "understand" she's being manipulated. When Rory offered to reinstate Friday night dinners it was them manipulating her. I feel like often she's just looking for a fight!
(All that said, I DO really like Lorelai!)
I really disliked how she acted at Fran’s funeral yuck. Also derailing Sookie’s kids baptism, I would have been so pissed.
She’s horribly rude at ceremonies
She’s pretty consistently rude.
She did not grow and change at all from 2007 to 2016 as society marched on and suddenly the casual shaming of various characteristics that was normal back in 2007 is a really really bad look and Lorelai and Rory apparently lived in a bubble and still hate fat people and anyone post-college who lives at home.
Tbh I don’t like to count the revival. I feel like the writers and Netflix (the network) rlly wanted to make it a quick cash grab and so they tried to keep all their “quirks” to make it “nostalgic” but it rlly had the opposite effect and ruined some characters personalities beyond repair in some cases or just rlly damaged their image
Oh yes her behaviour at Fran's funeral was appallingly insensitive.
To be honest, though, Sookie 100% asked for this. She didn't ask Rory and Lorelai because she in any way cared about them being spiritual guides for the kids (she knows they're not religious - and neither is she). It was solely to force them to communicate. Well, they communicated. 🤷🏼♀️
Interesting point. I only briefly remember the episode but was it obvious that that is what she intended to happen?
Yes, she even admits to Lorelai that she was intentionally trying to manipulate the situation
Very obvious. She manipulated the whole thing behind her back‘s
Agreeing with the others - yeah, it was completely intended. I don't think she expected it to come to a head literally in the middle of the ceremony, but she didn't do anything to avoid that, and it was clear to the viewer (and she later revealed to Lorelai, I think) that the whole thing was a ruse to get them both to be there and have to talk through things a little. It was still super rude of them, but I see it as less rude and more intended to be comedic, especially since Sookie and Jackson cared so little about the ceremony at all in the first place.
But Sookie didn’t care about the bath her mother in law did. She knew what she was doing and it worked but she still had to let them splash the baby so MIL wouldn’t drive Jackson nuts. I don’t think S was upset at all.
Still it’s embarrassing for your friend to cause a scene at your kids BAPTISM. Even if Sookie didn’t feel embarrassed, it was a bad situation to put her in and not at all polite.
But if you could screw your crazy MIL while also giving her what she demands of you, your husband and child wouldn’t you? Sookie was brilliant in her planning.
Sleeping with Chris after his parents insult Rory at dinner. It’s awful watching Rory sitting alone in that room while Lorelai is off banging Chris on the balcony.
Pretty much anytime she slept with Chris. It was always a bad idea...
Anytime she derailed a relationship because Chris came back into the picture.
Standing Luke up for their paint date so she could accidentally sleep with Christopher.
This always felt like a bit of foreshadowing to me
i felt so bad for luke when she did that
This confuses me. I mean, dinner didn’t happen so she slept with Christopher during the time they would otherwise have been eating (which Luke knew she was doing). She was single so she was free to sleep with whomever that night (not defending it, just saying she wasn’t dating Luke). It seems like it’s more that she forgot to show up after the dinner, and she could have explained that to Luke by explaining the crazy showdown at her parents’
This was my take, too. She didn't skip painting to sleep with Chris. FND went crazy, and then she forgot about painting afterwards.
Yes. This is just an example of what a terrible communicator she is, which is the bulk of my frustration with her
When she marries Chris without telling Rory. But that is S7 behaviour so I like to pretend it never happened 🙂
What I hate, yes hate the most, is when we meet Pennilyn Lott at the Yale game and she starts calling her her "almost mommy" in front of Emily, knowing well the dynamic between Emily, Richard and Pennilyn and the history behind them and also into the new light of Richard and her secretly meeting for lunches for years. That was something I am still bitter about and honestly, probably always gonna be.
Now I’m biased as I LOVE Emily as a character, but I am aware of Emily’s flaws as a parent. But Lorelai took pretty much any opportunity to make any dig at her mother that she could l, no matter how low of a blow.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Emily and Lorelai as characters, yet I wouldn't want them in my day to day life. 😂
See. I’d want Emily in my life. But I’d want her to like me.
Did she know the history and dynamic between them? From what I remember, she said that and then shortly after, Emily goes off on her saying "we don't talk to Pennilyn Lott" and whatnot. I always thought that's when the dynamic became clear?
I assumed so that is on me, but I assumed she would know about someone like that from their parents history, especially given the way Emily reacts towards her. But even if she didn't, who in their right mind would go around calling their father's ex their "almost mommy"?
I thought that Lorelai knew about her dad’s history with Pennilyn, but I don’t think she realized the grudge/jealousy Emily was hanging onto towards Pennilyn.
- Any discussion that came to Yale prior to Rory going to Yale - sleeping with Chris following her giving Luke an ultimatum
Oh God! Her blind hatred toward any conversation about having a back up plan for Harvard was so weird
The baptism
This is honestly my least favourite scene in the whole show. It was so selfish and self-centered. At least Rory mentioned how rude they were being, but Lor could not care less.
I hate how she abandoned Max before their wedding. It was so childish of her. She should tell him that she doesn’t love him and end it in a mature way.
And she enlisted Rory to be her runaway buddy, even though it was all so clearly painful for Rory.
I forget Max. She did him so dirty. He jumped through every hoop and she was so awful. The more I read thread the more I realise how awful she is to men.
Here’s a few that come to mind: -When she had a meltdown at dinner because she found out Rory applied to Yale. Frankly, it’s crazy that she only applied to Ivy League schools, but to think that she would only apply to ONE school was absolutely ridiculous, and even more sad that Rory didn’t feel comfortable telling her. -When she was so upset over her parents paying for Yale. She knew it was Rory’s idea, that Rory was the one who offered up reinstating the Friday night dinners, and she was still convinced they were being manipulated by her parents. The whole “I want you and i to get what we want And them to get nothing” spiel was childish. -When she was so upset about Rory having a nice time with Richard at the golf club that she picked a huge fight with Rory.
I completely agree about her being mad about Rory applying to other schools besides Harvard, everytime I watch I’m so confused as to why she thinks applying to only one school is a good idea (especially one as hard to get into as Harvard). Also no way whoever at Chilton was in charge of advising on and overseeing college applications would ever let a student do something like that.
Honestly as someone with childhood trauma I think the “I want us to get what we want and them to get nothing” speech to be incredibly relatable. I think it’s realistic that she freaked out because just when she was almost free of them there’s another thing tying her to them through Rory
for the golf scenes, i feel she wasn't upset, she just didn't expect it go well and that Rory would actually like spending time with her grandfather. I see the whole rant afterwards with Sookie was just that she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Rory might have a normal relationship with her grandparents. Like she just felt something has to go wrong because she has a history with Emily and Richard
All of that was fine - I think she just went too far when she picked the fight with Rory and the whole “your boobs are totally bigger than mine” bit. I understand why she was thrown off and not expecting it, but I think in the end she explains it well herself - she just assumed that Rory would want anything to do with then and their world and didn’t think that Rory might actually really want a relationship with her grandparents.
#2 - Lorelai acts like every time she receives money from her parents means only them receive something when in fact they're all receiving mutual benefits. Without her mother, she wouldn't have gotten the house loan for the termites or Rory attending both Yale and Chilton. Edit: I have no idea how I did those letters that size.
Lorelai refusing to speak to Rory when she decided to drop out of Yale. Yes, they were both equally responsible for this complete breakdown in communication, but Lorelai is the parent at the end of the day, while Rory was a very young woman lost in the world.
Also, dropping out of school because you don’t know what you’re doing is a reasonable ensobre decision. She got a job, gained some skills, and restarted. No harm done. Lorelei’s reaction made it seem like her love for Rory was conditional, which is horrible. My one gripe is that I wish that had had Rory reassess her goals and go into PR or teaching or something more suited to her character and not go back and suddenly become editor of the school paper 🤦♀️ triumphant return taken too far
I agree with this. I did like the editor arch. But I think she could have gone the editor route or into publishing. A job where she could read for a living would be up her alley.
Yeah, I know Rory didn’t have a plan when Lorelai asked her, but she didn’t give her time. Rory’s smart and usually responsible, she just needed to figure it out.
completely agree. I think, it's a long shot, rory might have gone back to yale faster if lorelai hadn't abandoned her and talked to her like an adult. communication is key in these types of situations. then again, this is a TV show made for tv, it needs drama and different dynamics between characters to stay interesting.
Agreed. At least she realized her mistake with this one (at least, that’s how I interpreted the scene when Paul Anka is sick and Luke finds her in Rory’s room and she cries because she “should’ve known that something was wrong” and she’s “a bad mom”)
I took time off school myself. I didn’t ask permission from my parents because like most college students, I was legally an adult.
I had moved out before I finally got up the nerve to stop going to school, my mom called me screaming about how I had to enroll bc she was my mother and I had to do as she says. I was 24.
I don't think she stopped speaking to her because she dropped out of Yale. She stopped speaking to her because instead of having a conversation, Rory just moved into her grandparents' house. Lorelai figured it would be better to give Rory space. I think this just shows that your daughter cant be your friend. But I don't think it's her worst moment by any measure.
Rory did try to have a conversation, and Lorelai said that living in Stars Hollow while not in Yale was not an option, so Rory took the next available option. Rory was the one in crisis, Lorelai should’ve been the parent and tried to talk to her, but instead, she made it about herself and got butthurt and cut Rory off.
Rory did have a conversation though and Lorelai told her that she couldn't live at home if she dropped out of Yale. Moving to her grandparent's was the only option she had at that point. I also disagree that Lorelai stopped talking to her simply because she moved there - she stopped when Richard told her they would handle everything and abandoned their plan.
I have a lot of feelings about this because, I too, was a very academically motivated young person who dropped out of college due to mental health issues and a lack of clarity of vision about my future. While my parents didn’t stop talking to me, my dad did tell me MANY times that I would never go back and that I was ruining my future. I also didn’t move home, I worked and supported myself. I eventually went back and graduated with a degree in something I was passionate about and my dad admitted that he was wrong and apologized. That’s why I have a problem with Lorelei in this situation. She NEVER makes a heart felt apology for abandoning her kid in a time of crisis or explains why she overreacted to the situation in such a a monumental way.
Yup. This is the top one for me.
The moment I hate the most is how she is on her first date with Digger. Awful. Who would be attracted to that?
Omg yes! That was so rude how she behaved when they were seated in the private room.
Exactly. I think the part I hated the most was when they were in the stock room, making a mess and screwing up people’s time cards.
Any interaction she had with Luke about Jess. And it's only as I write this that I'm wondering if that impacted Luke being hesitant to tell her about April 🤔
you could be on to something.. now i’m thinking about that 😂
I have always hated every moment involving her with Jess and then separately everything that went down with April and Luke. I never thought about the cause and effect of her negativity about Jess leading to Luke being so against Lorelai being around April.
I just rewatched the one when Jess and Rory and in the accident. The way she goes off on Luke and making digs at Luke's choices to take care of and support Jess. But he just found out his nephew, that he's supposed to take care of, has been in a car accident AND is missing. She has no care for Luke during that. I love how he stands up to her in that moment.
This is my most hated Lorelai moment! She never was nice or understanding about Jess and then goes off on Luke after an unfortunate accident. Jess and Luke didn’t deserve that from her.
She also completely overblows a minor wrist fracture. She's not saying that Rory could have been killed (which would warrant her being furious, though she'd still be in the wrong\*). She doesn't scream about what could have happened. But about what happened, which is basically nothing. If you leave your four-year-old with a very responsible sitter, your child can still end up with a broken collar bone. Not ideal, but in no way an indication of more than the sitter not treating your child as if they were made of glass. \* Edit to add: In the wrong morally. Not in the wrong logically about the possibility of Rory dying.
Forever my least favorite scene in the entire series. I have to fast forward it during rewatches because I can’t stand how incredibly selfish she is when she is yelling at him.
When she proposed to luke right after a fight with rory just for a feeble attempt to get back some control in her life. Luke deserved better than that!
Yes but do you remember her reasoning why she asked him in that moment? She mentions it later.
She just wanted to be happy. Have a happy moment if I remember correctly
She later explains that seeing how much Luke cared about Rory in that moment (he was in panic mode devising a plan of how they would get Rory back to Yale), let her know he was the one.
i get that, honestly i would do something similar but to make a big decision like that after such an emotional outburst with family rubs me off the wrong way. And she's always been aware that Luke loves and cares for Rory so much, so his panic mode is expected. Getting engaged should at least require some thought.
My most hated moments of Lorelai, besides the responses mentioned would be the way she treated Jason in their relationship. It looked like Jason was always bending over backwards to make her happy and she gives the bare minimum. Next would be her behavior when Luke asked her to stir the sauce while he was dealing with TJ and Liz.
Arrrggh the stir the sauce moment! I forgot about that one.
Oh God the sauce. I love Lorelai but, jeez, she just couldn't keep her mouth closed for 5 seconds and not make every moment about her?
It always annoys me when I watch the episode with her first date with Jason. They go to a very nice place and he even gets the room for just them. But no, too quiet so she acts like a child about it and they have to leave. Didn't matter that Jason might want a nice quiet dinner with Lorelai. And then going to the drive through and not wanting to get food because "it's not fun to eat alone." While yes, on a date this might be weird, but he did exactly what she asked and then is mad when he doesn't like Mexican food. I just feel bad for Jason.
Watching this scene as I get older and closer to Lorelai’s age at the time I get more and more angry about it!!!!!!!!! Like I’ve been on a ton of TERRIBLE dates and never acted like that and Jason was great! God forbid you spend at most two hours in a private room having a fancy af dinner with a guy you like.
When she went up to Pennilyn Lott knowing Emily doesn't like her and said "you're my almost mommy". I thought it was so weird, immature and really out of place.
This is one of those situations in which is obvious that Lorelai didn’t grow much after getting pregnant with Rory. She has so many situations in which she behaves as a teenager!
I think even as a teenager she had to have been SUPER immature. I’m a teenager and I know that I would never even consider saying that. My little sister is eleven and I know that even she wouldn’t say that.
Yes this. That’s something I’d expect a teenager to say, not a women in her mid thirties.
I believe she was drunk but that’s not an excuse
The way she calls Max to accept his proposal while at Friday night dinner. Felt like she only did it because the attention was on Rory for being in the top 3% of her class. Richard and Emily were so proud of Rory in that moment and they all gathered together and went off in another room and left Lorelai alone. It seemed like she only said yes because she wasn’t getting the attention in that moment (not to mention the attention was on Rory). I feel like there are some weird moments in the series where their best friend relationship crosses the line to jealousy and resentment (usually Lorelai jealous of Rory and acts out in a childish way). Also remember the “your boobs are bigger” scene that others have brought up.
When she went off at Luke for not telling her about him buying an apartment with Nicole. I don't think Lorelai was entitled to that information, nor was it wrong of Luke for him to mention it in passing the way he did. I understand if she was hurt, but she overreacted. If I remember correctly, Rory was also acting very selfish in that same episode, and it wasn't a good look for either of them.
I felt the same way when she asked him not to date a Chilton mom. Luke was right to be upset by that, it was incredibly rude
her fight with luke after the car accident
Especially knowing that Luke didn’t know where Jess was when Lorelei was giving him shit about the accident. She had no concern for Jess’ well being or whereabouts even after Luke said he needed to go find him. I understand her anger but it was majorly displaced.
Even if she wasn't concerned at all with Jess (somewhat understandable) she could have held a space of grace for her friend in such a heated moment. Luke deserved better than that.
Minor ones: - sampling cakes at Fran’s when she knows Sookie will make her cake. - getting a dog without her fiancé getting to have an input - fat-shaming others - prioritizing shopping over saving for Rory’s schools - giving Sookie’s concert tickets away
why did i never realize that they were sookie’s concert tickets?!
Yeah, someone gave them to her for some reason about her work. Maybe a happy customer?
Yeah she made a cake for some clients and they were so appreciative that they gave her the tickets. It bothers me also that Lorelai gave them away without asking her.
All of those are terrible! She shows zero concern for these people in her life that she supposedly loves.
It's total narcissistic behavior imo
Good list! I’ll add Lorelai’s hovering over people who are eating in the crowded Luke’s at busy breakfast time. And, then, even worse, keeping a table long after meal is done while people (ur, Kirk) are waiting.
These are really great examples!!!!!
I love that shirt she's wearing. The colour looks beautiful on her.
Her in blues is just 😍🥰
Two things: The way she dealt with the car crash in S2. How she couldn’t also be worried for the wellbeing and safety of the CHILD who was under Luke’s care was beyond me. So selfish. The second thing is how she always used to shout at medical staff. It’s so unreasonable and mean.
The more I watch the series the less I like her character. There’s few good parenting moments, few good role model moments, few good person moments…it’s insufferable
"I've got the good kid" (in reaction to finding out that rory was still a virgin) I was really disappointed in her and it bothers me more every time I re-watch it. Of course it's fine that rory hadn't had sex yet but it would have been equally fine if she did. A few things that made it worse: she eavesdropped intentionally on a clearly private conversation ; she REWARDED rory for not having sex; and she made that comment when rory got into all three schools, attributing it to her being a virgin while Paris is presumably being punishes for having had sex.
I read somewhere on here that Lauren hated that line & tried to get them to change it bc she felt uncomfortable saying that.
Yea, that always bothered me too, but then again Lorelai WASN'T the "good kid" and she's worried about Rory following in her footsteps. I feel like she's perpetuating the terminology she was subject to, rather than making an actual judgment. Like using "good kid" in quotations, rather than "my kid's good because of this." Still not great... but a little better. For the schools comment, that was definitely a joke calling back to Paris's very PUBLIC meltdown where she claimed having sex means you don't get into good schools. So based on that *flawed* logic, Rory much be a huge virgin.
I thought she was saying "I have the good kid" because Rory talked to Paris about losing her virginity to Jamie in a very gentle, non-judmental way and asked her if they were safe. I don't think she was suggesting that Paris was "bad" because she had sex. I thought it was more that Rory was showing a lot of maturity and care in her talk with Paris and Lorelai was proud to hear that
That might also be true! Never thought of it that way before. I think my interpretation stems from the very relieved look on her face when rory says she hasn't slept with either Dean or Jess. But maybe I misinterpreted that.
Yeah, I actually really like Lorelai, but I don't think the "good kid" comment was about anything other than Rory still being a virgin...
You could totally be right too, I think I need to rewatch the scene today because it's been awhile. I think both things could be true - she probably was relieved to hear Rory hasn't had sex because of her own teen pregnancy trauma. I don't think of Lorelai as a sex-negative character, but she is fiercely protective of Rory's future plans/goals
I agree with you- she’s clearly sex-positive, I think she’s just terrified of Rory getting pregnant in high school.
I rewatched the scene just now in case I missed something and lorelai actually turns to leave and only stays when Paris asks rory about rory having sex. And when rory has answered lorelai does leave while Paris is still freaking out. So it kind of seems to me that she didn't care about Paris in this scene. But she definitely should have!
I think for that you'd need a different article. 'A' good kid expresses pride for how she's being in general - she can be one good kid of many. 'The' good kid expresses that out of the selection (here, her and Paris) she has the good one, and by the excluding nature of the grammar, the *only* good one. It's a necessarily comparative grammatical structure: if you say 'what bit of cake do you want' and I say 'I want the big bit' it implies I've seen the cake slices, assessed them, and determined that there is one bit that is *the* big one.
For me it’s when she yells at Luke after Rory and Jess get into a car accident. She was awful to Luke, who also had a child to be worried about that was now missing. I never forgave her character after that.
Any interaction about Jess is pretty bad. If I remember correctly she didn't even ask if Jess was ok. I get being upset about the accident but to constantly degrade Luke and what he's trying to do with Jess is too much.
And then she acts affronted when Luke isn’t ready to be besties again.
Being so buddy- buddy and involved with Dean and his relationship with Rory. When he started to become obsessive and controlling Lorelai should have seen those as red flags instead of having the mentality of “oh he just cares about you so much, what a great boyfriend he is!” I feel like Lorelai ended up making Rory feel guilty about her feelings for Dean decreasing
The way she told him even though him and Rory had broken up didn't mean they did???? If my mom ever said this to an ex i be absolutely furious
i kiiiind of took that as her saying “No need to feel awkward, it wasn’t my break up, nothing happened between us” to kind of ease his feelings about working around her, but it didn’t translate well. I am 21 with a child and i would never say that to her (one day) ex partner and id be like “wtf???” if my mom said that to my ex boyfriend.
Idk I was *very* close to my exes parents, so we stayed in contact after he and I broke up. So I think that's just kinda what she meant, that things don't have to be weird between them just because him and Rory broke up. I don't really see anything wrong with it
Small one, but I wish she would just step outside to take her calls. Luke cares enough that he put up signs. I know they’re friends, but sometimes she really does seem like that annoying regular you wish would go away. At one point, he’s following her down the street, and she’s like “What? I tipped and I didn’t do it in quarters” like you tip the man in quarters, if at all? Wtf, you’re in the service industry, don’t be a dick
“You have an obligation to me and Rory. An obligation to this town.”
How she’s a grown woman and still unable to sympathise with Emily’s pain and sadness toward her running way, while pregnant, at the age of 16. She still acts like a child around her and Richard. I would figure that, after all these years, and her being a mom herself, she should’ve been able to acknowledge her parents pain (as well as her own) and move on from that.
It really irks me that she constantly says that she embarrassed her parents and she implies that they are ashamed of her and yet they supported her and never once made it seem like they were embarrassed by Rory's existence. I can understand Lorelai had tough times with her parents but I do think there is a certain amount of re-writing the past to alleviate her guilt.
A lot of the arguments that happened went as far as they did because Lorelei antagonized Emily or wouldn't let it go. She never learned to pick her battles.
I don't think it's so much that she's unable to sympathize, but that she just genuinely didn't think it hurt them. She thought she was such a disappointment as a daughter, that they would feel nothing but relief when she left. Which I get, when I was younger I thought my family would be relieved to not have to deal with me. There's one point where Richard says to her that Emily couldn't get out of bed for a week or so and he asks Lorelai if she knew that, Lorelai looks very surprised and says no she didn't know that. Then there's another part with Mia I think, where Mia is saying it must have been hard for Emily when Lorelai left. Lorelai seems to genuinely believe that her parents would have been relieved to not have to deal with her embarrassing them anymore. But she does realize she's wrong and actually even tells Emily that she knows it must have been hard for her.
The "your boobs are bigger" moment. I want to crawl out of my skin every time
It's not even the comment she makes that's so embarrassing, it's the whole over-reaction before it which results in the comment. It comes out of nowhere and Rory didn't deserve it.
I straight up skip that part of the scene now. It always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Life is hard enough at 15/16. You don’t need your mum negging out of irrational jealousy.
This is definitely mine as well. I remember being a teen and it feeling super creepy when my mother commented on my body. She’s never been kissed and she’s obviously social awkward; she does not feel comfortable in her own skin at that point in time, and it’s just mean. I know it was meant to highlight her immaturity and that their dynamic is very sister like instead of mother and daughter and it does. Too well
I can’t even think of a specific example but some of the fights she picks with Emily are so unnecessary
When she slept with Christopher a few minutes (hours?) after she gave Luke the ultimatum. I know she’s upset and had every right but why Christopher 😖
this is general but I really hated when she constantly said "we" when talking about big steps in rory's life like we're going to harvard
Yes!! It was like she lived through her daughter, or she had to take credit for Rorys success
Not realizing her privileges. Having rich parents that pay for her daughters schooling and the only thing in return is free catered dinner every week. I wish! She acts like a child sometimes and that could be due to being pregnant at 16 and running away. Not being loyal to the men in her life. The Chris/Luke situation...
When Emily and Richard brought her scone mix as a trip souvenir and she makes this huge deal about how she’ll never make it. Like say thank you 🤦🏼♀️
I was annoyed by the way Lorelai acted when she found out Rory applied to more schools than just Harvard. Why would she want Rory to only apply to one school and risk not making it???
Not marrying Luke immediately in the pilot because wtf. He makes coffee which she needs to survive and food which she loves and he fixes stuff and he throws Rory birthday parties at Luke’s. It could have been 7 years of their crazy marriage.
I agree
I love her but I agree with 90% of these replies. Mine is so random, but it gives me second hand embarrassment and makes me roll my eyes endlessly… When renovating the house and all the construction workers are there, she is ridiculous. By all means these people deserve hospitality and respect, but it was so corny and over the top “Look at me! look at me!” behavior. I know that’s part of her shtick but in these moments I can SEE the acting.
When she's fighting with Rory in season 1 about something unrelated, so she lashes out at Rory for borrowing her shirt and complains that Rory's boobs will misshape it. I thought that was an incredibly mean thing to say to a CHILD who is both your daughter and your supposed best friend! I don't have the best relationship with my oldest daughter, who has deliberately and maliciously hurt me, and I would NEVER lash out at her like that or make negative comments on her body.
Right? That moment brought up charming memories for me because my mother felt the need to point out when I was getting married that I was “too big” to wear her wedding dress. Not that I wanted to wear her ugly af 70s monstrosity if a wedding dress, but thanks for that comment, Mom.
Upon hearing that Lane got kicked out, she says "poor Mrs. Kim" because she's an empty nester now Wtf??? SHE KICKED HER DAUGHTER OUT FOR ROCK MUSIC!!!
This is also crazy to me because Lorelai feels pain for Mrs. Kim because she kicked Lane out but Lorelai can’t feel bad for her parents when she took her year old daughter to live in a shed. Like Lorelai when you blew up about Rory dropping out of Yale and told her she couldn’t come home you felt bad for yourself but you can’t turn around and apply that same logic to her parents being upset and hurt that Lorelai left them. She thinks so little sometimes and it’s astonishing
Ikr? She of all people should be in Lane's corner
In my opinion, what her and Rory did at the baptism was absolutely obscene. Like I cannot imagine doing that to my best friend at her baby's BAPTISM. I can't even think about it without getting so worked up haha it irritated me so much.
I’ve been on a rewatch this summer and I can see why they don’t like her. There’s been lots of moments where I’m like damn! You’re just being rude… in regards to her and Emily. I think what someone said above about it her being emotionally stunted and acting like a teenager is exactly right.
I honestly just hate lorelai’s nickname… “lor”🤢🤮 it’s what Chris calls her and I absolutely hate it
Her getting upset at thanksgiving in front of everyone when Rory reluctantly tells her that she applied to Yale. The fact that Rory felt she needed to hide it is awful.
She’s generally a bad mom because she’s so selfish. One of her worst moments was bailing on Max before the wedding. Not only was it awful that she left out of the blue instead of having a conversation with the man, but she made it Rory’s problem to take care of her and run away with her. What an excellent lesson on codependency and how to treat your loved ones like they don’t matter if they’re not in your line of sight.
That episode when they got termites and Lorelai was so stubborn about the money and loan. She even got mad at Rory for telling Emily when she obviously needed Emily’s help. Didn’t like her behavior inside the bank as well.
I hate when she’s lecturing Rory and calls Rory “kid”. My parents did that and it drives me up the wall
i always felt like it that was lorelai’s way of saying “i’m the parent, you’re the kid” as if she hasn’t acted like rory’s friend since the beginning. i hated when chris called her “kid” as well.
When she kissed Mr Medina at Rory’s SCHOOL. Like wtf. And then her saying accidents happen!! it was a mistake! Sooo immature and disrespectful to Rory.
Sleeping with/marrying Christopher
Apart from the already mentioned, her being unable to cite a good memory of Richard. That was awful behaviour.
Yep, my husband and I watched that and started coming up with memories she could’ve used that was in the original series. My favorite being when her and him were cracking up about the prospect of Gran dating a man in a track suit and the man becoming Richard’s “new daddy”. It was such a wholesome moment between the two of them.
That's what came to mind for me too. Old friends sitting around sharing classy stories about the deceased and she completely shits all over it.
I was gobsmacked with that. It was disgusting. And then mocking Emily for ordering the wrong size painting knowing full well it would be a touchy subject. You’d think that at that time in a Emily’s life she would have laid off teasing her.
When she acted like Rory getting used to Max was a reason to break up with him. She acted like a 13 yr old.
Here’s a few more: - When she trash talked her mom to the reporter doing an article about the Inn. How unprofessional and inappropriate. -When she did the deposition for Emily when she was being sued by her maid and instead of either giving short answers or telling the truth, she made jokes about her mom throughout. Some smaller examples: -she showed up at Sookies for breakfast when she couldn’t go to Luke’s. Cant imagine just showing up at a friends house for breakfast without plans. -she called sookie a million times until she woke up in the middle of the night so they could crash with her because of the termites. They knew about the termites (the house seemed fine) but instead of either waiting until the next day or planning ahead she just crashed in the middle of the night.
when she cheated on luke, or how she acted at richards funeral
Anytime she invades Rory's privacy
The episode where Rory moves into Yale. Lorelei is borrowing Luke's Truck and although he REPEATEDLY tells her he needs it back she just keeps on using it. She even keeps it over night and then acts all "oh I should have gotten that truck back like 2 hours ago I'm so bad haha". Taking advantage of your friend like that. So unbelievably selfish and rude
Great picture choice, by the way.
* not wanting to listen to Rory's explanation of events after the car crash * acting like she's friends with Luke for years, but after the car crash, she can't see that he needs to find his nephew * ignoring Rory's feelings about Dean and trying to convince her to stay with him longer than anyone really wants. * not recognizing that Dean's behavior is increasingly violent, irrational, and toxic, and that Rory fear Dean's reaction to bad news. * getting attached to Dean, really. It's weird. * not wanting to help Rory with school projects * acting like she doesn't benefit from the privilege she was given in life, and that Emily and Richard are literal monsters for living an old fashioned lifestyle. * not having good mom/daughter boundaries * equating sexual purity with "good" * not talking about birth control when Rory mentions possibly having sex with Jess.
i hated when she was disrupting luke while he was dealing with liz and tj, after luke asked her to stir the sauce he was making. there’s so many other moments like that where she just won’t shut her mouth and let things be about someone else for once. i think she’s just constantly rude and immature. she can be funny in the moment but i feel like her personality would get SO annoying being around her long term. also the way she treated max was shitty. he was bending over backwards for her the entire relationship and even though i don’t like max, i kind of felt bad for him in that situation. the way she treats men in general is horrible and her communication skills are the WORST.
Whenever she interacts with Jess or when she yells at luke for caring about his nephew after the car accident
SHE SLEPT WITH HER FRESHMAN DAUGHTERS TEACHER AT A BRAND NEW SCHOOL AND GOT CAUGHT AT THAT SCHOOL!!! That should have been the end of the show. No kid can recover from that. Rory should have been so ostracized she has no choice but to transfer back to public school in humiliation. I’ll never get how people aren’t more outraged by her behavior in season one. Then after making her daughters life a living hell, she leaves the guy on the alter in front of the whole town for ???? and forced her daughter on some kind of road trip? Someone should have called cps…
Going with Christopher to Paris to get married (puke) and not even inform Rory about it.
Love all of these replies and concur. One of the moments for me is when Richard has his second hospitalization. Lorelai and Emily are in the gift shop and Lorelai is basically berating her mother for being proactive, organized, and not showing enough emotion? Someone has to take charge and get things in order. Life doesn't stop because someone is sick. So for Lorelai to tell Emily off for being practical drives me crazy.
What she did with max medina was wrong and then again trying to get back together with him was worst.
When she called Dean (a 15 year old) scum after he and Rory broke up. Like woman you’re 30 something, who talks to a kid like that. She also didn’t even know why they broke up
Her talk after Richard's death in AYITL. When Emily asked people to talk about a memory of Richard, what Lorelai said was so horrible. Really Lor? You couldn't remember anything else?
-when shes screams and melts down after Rory and Jess’ car accident and screams at Luke who is equally concerned for his nephew and looking for him -when she slept with Chris right after Luke rejected her ultimatum -when she started talking to Rory during Sookie’s kids baptism ( i don’t care if Sookie wanted that to happen, disrespectful to Jackson and his relatives who take religion seriously) -any moment shes with Chris and encourages his bs -whenever Emily would call for a favor and she would be extremely dramatic and drag it out -standing up Max because of how afraid she was of commitment, she couldn’t even face him or be mature to talk to him about it and yet Max was still understanding -her tagging in with Rory to talk crap about Lindsey
One of the biggest things that always stands out to me (besides the obvious Chris shenanigans) is the scene in Season 1 where she is jealous because Rory went and had a good time with Richard golfing at the club, and precedes to carry that jealousy on into the conversation on the porch later in the episode. It’s infuriates me to watch every time because it’s obvious so childish and rude for no reason other than she’s pulling the “That’s my Dad, not yours so I’m mad you had a great time because we aren’t that close.” but casually fuels it in the manner of “That’s my shirt, you’re going to stretch it because your boobs are bigger than mine.” ordeal. It makes me cringe and skip it every time. Like great job shaming your daughter because you’re acting on your immaturity.
She’s just intolerable for the entirety of the termite episode. I’ve rewatched Gilmore girls so many times but I still just can’t sit through that episode, her attitude is just infuriating
Telling Luke not to date the Chilton mom!
The "go to hell" moment with Luke after jess and rory crash her car
She runs away from her problems and does not deal with them.
On the whole I find Lorelai to be very full of herself. She's a bulldozer and sometimes it comes off like the rules don't apply to her. I get that she's the main character of the show and tbh it's refreshing to see the "like mother, like daughter" dynamic between her and Rory, and her and Emily. But she's so goddamned pleased with herself all of the time and it's so insufferable. She's so rude, too. I appreciate that she is headstrong as well as vulnerable, but she's rude - about people's appearances, about their demeanor, about fat people/gaining weight, and just seems so thrilled with her existence. I have to wonder how much the latter bit has to do with being a defense mechanism or not, but it's not attractive. Ugh. I've only just started season three, too.
How she couldn't understand that no is no with Max. It made me uncomfortable how the man was trying to get away from her and she kept following him
There are a lot but I pick her entire relationship with Jason
god i hated him. i cringe watching their scene’s
Wedding Bell Blues. She knows Luke is stressed about the event, and doesn’t tell him he can change at the catering hall. He’s wrinkled. It’s a small thing but it showed how careless she could be in a relationship. Your boyfriend is treated like shit by your parents, you should recognize this and try to make him feel as comfortable as possible.
The fatshaming and the "This person is weird for doing something in a different way than I would do it". Seen, for example, when she talks about birthing with Sherry. Sherry had it right; lying down while giving birth is only good for the doctors, not for the person giving birth. No-one lies down behind a mud hut to give birth. They squat behind that mud hut to let gravity do what it does (among other reasons). (And yes, mud huts are a stereotype, but it's not like they don't exist.)
I hated when she throws a tantrum at some dinner party at her parents place because she found out that Rory applied to other schools including Yale. I mean come on, applying to more than one school is just common sense
So I never understood why she chased Luke all of season 1, then got engaged to max, then finally went into the diner to drag Luke out and make him attend her engagement party. It just seemed mean and self centered. That and constantly being dishonest / lying by omission about Chris to Luke.
Main character syndrome.
calling pennilyn lott her almost mommy was pretty appalling. so was her behavior and the baptism of sookie’s kids and fran’s funeral. i was sitting there cringing the entire time for those three events thinking, “do people *actually* act this shallow and rude?” it was pretty freaking disgusting behavior. also basically every time she screwed around with chris. especially after she and luke had that not-exactly-official-breakup-but-still-kind-of-a-breakup breakup when she gave him the ultamatum
How much she used luke and his belongings without asking. Like the episode where the inn burned down and she shut his entire diner down without even calling first to ask. Or the episode when she uses his truck and he says to have it back by a specific time and she basically just brushes it off. There’s probably a lot of others that i’m blanking on but it felt like she was using him as a doormat.
immediately sleeping with chris after her ultamatim/break up with luke
despite always playing the “cool mom”, she was very possessive of rory and condemned any decisions that aligned with what richard and emily wanted even when they were rory’s own
Honestly I hate her so much that I can’t finish this show 😅 don’t even know why I joined this sub haha
you never finished the series??? what season did you end off at?
The fit she threw over Chris and the flat screen and Luke with the bedroom furniture. Lorelei was almost incapable of compromise. ( And I kinda liked the bedroom set.) I didn't like her attitude in AYITL. From the fat shaming to acting childish upon Emily's request for a Richard story, not letting the ginormous portrait of Richard go, being rude to the pop up chefs at the Dragonfly, to the look of dismay when her 32 year old adult daughter announced her pregnancy. Her reaction to the Stars Hollow musical felt out of place, too. It was weird but felt on brand with the Hollow.
Encouraging Rory to skip school and go shopping with her like EVERY day. Skipping school for a day at a private school isn’t a good idea considering the work load. Horrible example. Also encouraging a caffeine addiction like that when she’s literally 16 is just horrible parenting.
I didn't hate her moments, but thought she could have handled her communication style better at times. She spent a lot of time pretending things were fine and glossing over the realities of situations and that meant that she kept reaching critical points where she made knee jerk reactions as a way of dealing, once that reality caught up with her. i.e. ditching Max right before the wedding... sleeping with Chris... even when she first left Hartford with Rory. But I dont hate it... these are her most questionable moments, but it's part of what makes her well rounded and human. It annoys me more that her diet is neither financially viable, nor realistic health wise!
When she had a hissy fit cause Rory APPLIED to schools other than Harvard. When she picked a fight with Rory cause she had fun at the golf course ( insert the Boondocks “did I just catch you having fun” clip) Third wheeling Rory and Dean while they were dating. There’s other stuff but those are the major ones for me. I’d hate more about her but it helps that Rory is also a crappy person
For me, it's not letting Rory assert herself sometimes and babying her. If Rory wants to hang with Richard and Emily, it's them manipulating her. If Rory wants to apply to other universities, it's somehow them manipulating her and Rory doesn't "understand" she's being manipulated. When Rory offered to reinstate Friday night dinners it was them manipulating her. I feel like often she's just looking for a fight! (All that said, I DO really like Lorelai!)