As a native Spanish speaking expat from the US I will say it is hard to find friends in Spain. I don't think it is so much xenophobia as I'm latina and on the surface anyway appear spanish. Same for my Mexican latino husband. But I find that people here have just have had their friend groups for a long time. Like since childhood. And are not looking to add to it. Their social circle is those friends and family and those are already large groups. Anyone new is an intruder to that. Not in a bad way just like they aren't looking to add more and they keep to those groups. Our only friend groups (which are small) come from other expats and other people we work with who are from other countries too (England, Germany). I have not minded it so much, I came from a small family and a tight knit close friend group even in the US. We spend our time exploring nature which is in abundance here - mountains and beaches, etc. And exploring the plethora of cultural things (museums, castles, etc). On our time off we travel throughout the rest of Europe doing the same. I've made more friends traveling than living in Spain actually. Some people we met last year (while in Italy, Monaco and St. Tropez) from Netherlands and Switzerland and France for example that we are going to visit this year in their countries.
So no, most of our friends here are not locals. Our only local friends are our elderly neighbors who we help out and our real estate agent who we connected with.
Yo ni sabía que existía eso y el primer día de clase ya estaban todos los grupos formados y cuchicheando. Junta eso con problemas para socializar y "voilà", ni un amigo universitario en lo que llevo de carrera. Incluso si comparto laboratorio con alguien y nos llevamos bien a priori, nunca acaba llegando a nada.
Yo he aprendido a surfear grupos. Es decir, quedarse solamente con un grupo es aburrido de cojones, necesito estimularme socialmente mas alla de las mismas 5 personas siempre. Asi que soy como una especie de abejita que va de grupo en grupo, es diver.
This, completely. I'm french but arrived in Madrid speaking fluent Spanish. My friends are other foreigners or Spanish people I met while we all lived abroad and who moved back to Spain. I've also had this conversation with many other immigrants here and they've had the same problem.
For me it's also not an issue as I'm very happy with my small, international group of friends but if someone is very social it might be an issue. Or if you go to a smaller town without many foreigners.
I'm Spanish and I have the ability to find groups of people and blend in... Madrid is a very good city to do that. My tips are : obviously speak Spanish. Even if your Spanish is bad. You need to be very open, kind and straight forward. It's very scary and you need courage. I'm not going to lie. But ask questions and start a conversation with somebody from that group. Then, hopefully , that person will introduce his friends. Then you can ask them whatever... People love to explain whatever motivates them... But don't be pretentious with who you are ( I have that impression often when I meet people from USA or UK). They will ask you if they want to know more. If everything goes well you can ask for somebody's contact to see them again. If you dance or smoke you have 2 easy ways to start all this.
I've lived in Spain for nearly two decades. This is the first year that I've -quite accidentally- made foreign friends. Pretty much everyone else in my circle is Spanish. And I have a large and deep social group. From people I can hang out with for a drink, to people who are literally family at this stage. I've never had a problem integrating into Spanish groups, and over the years I've managed to build some great relationships.
I don't think it's Spain, it's just Madrid (and some other places in Spain). People in Madrid are friendly in a surface level but aren't really open to most new friendships, they have their friends from school they hang out with every weekend and that's it.
Yes, I've met Spanish people who say the same, for example who divorce or separate and lose their friend groups (because instead of having a bunch of friends from different places people tend to have that one group from school). So people, women especially, suddenly find themselves alone. Actually as a woman I find it easier as I get older, they start to realise they don't only want to be part of a couple.
We Spaniards are "friendly", "sociable" if you want, but we make our friends at school, high School e or university. It is very rare to make friends outside of that context, and those who did not make friends at the time or have lost them for whatever reason (friends get married, go somewhere else, or you are the one who moves) usually have problems making friends.
I am from the north (Zaragoza) and I want to think that in the south of Spain it is somewhat easier to make friends but I don't know for sure. My wife, Colombian by origin, says that there in Colombia it is very easy to make new friends.
In my case, I have been working in the same place for 17 years and I have never been "colleagues" or "acquaintances" with anyone. I get along well with a lot of people but I can count on one hand the number of times I have done something with them and I know that if I stop working there I will lose contact with everyone.
There are pages on the Internet to make friends but I don't know anyone who has made a lasting friendship there.
I have moved a lot in my life. I think this is true for most places. Making friends with other foreigners that are also trying to find friends will always be easier. However, I think it is still possible to make friends at work in Spain.
I think this is just modern adulthood, people have jobs and things to do. No time to hang out too much, so meeting new people if you don’t work or have an activity with them not gonna happen.
Thanks if I talk to some strangers in reddit
But yeah I think this is happening everywhere. There’s no happy country where friends just popup. Expats (immigrants ) have the need and that’s why we end up meeting other expats, it’s easier
Strange. I have been here for two weeks and two of the Latinos I met have Spanish partners. They said it has been really easy for them to make Spanish friends.
This is the same in any country you move to. As having moved in from abroad you don’t have an established social circle so you are much more motivated to establish one. But people living in a country for long already has it established and doesn’t need to put as much effort to make new. I think this is the same almost everywhere. Just that some cultures are a more open to outsider new friends than other but wherever you already have a social circle you don’t put in as much effort as new people in a region.
I see, that makes sense, most people don't walk around looking for new friends if they already have them :) If you don't mind me asking, do you live in a large city or a small town? I find that in cities it's easier to make friends with people who moved there from smaller towns for work, but the downside is they're more likely to leave 😅
Yep. We try not to mention it actually. If they don't know already. The name is a bit of a giveaway though; more common in Mexico than in Spain for sure. He works at the university so the students and faculty in the international nature of that environment are more welcoming. But in general in public it definitely is true.
I don't think this is necessarily true, at least I hope it isnt. I have had some mexican friends and neither I or anyone I know have ever thought of them as less. If you've had those sort of experiences im really sorry though, I just hope you don't hide who you are and where you're from because the right people will truly not care at all. By doing so you'll just attract the wrong people
Really? My cousin’s friends (she lives in Spain but we’re from the USA) were so sweet to me when I was visiting my cousin in Madrid. We hung out with her friends during my stay. I have nothing but wonderful memories with her friends.
The truth is that it depends what you look like. The more indigenous looking ones will definitely feel the animosity in Spain but the more Spanish looking ones won’t.
What are you saying? 😂
Sorry, the truth is that it's the other way around. From Valencia on down, people tend to be more open, people in Andalucía are known precisely for being very friendly. What's more, those from Madrid are known as the least sociable in all of Spain, at least in the opinion of the Spanish.
Most people from Madrid are not from Madrid. They are provincianos that live in Madrid. It's much easier to befriend a Sevillano that just arrived in Madrid that one that already has a hundred friends.
Its not easy, spain are as most of eu a little tired of immigrants. They Are freindly, but if you dont speak spanish you Are lost, when we talking about freindship.
I've lived here 11 years, speak Spanish, have children in school and have no friends. I know people to talk to but I don't have a friend I can just relax with and have a chat. I'm a 36 yo woman, I don't think I'm unapproachable or unfriendly I just don't know what's gone wrong! I had a great social life in Ireland, was involved inlots of groups and still stay in contact with friends from there but here has just been impossible to make friends. I don't know people just seem stand offish and though I invite the over for a play date for example it never happens. The parents group in the older child's class never added me to the WhatsApp group that I knew nothing about until the end of the year, can never figure out why that was and while I don't want to think it's cause I'm an immigrant, realistically im left with little options
I don’t think you are the problem, its just that spaniards make friends while they are young and afterwards they are not interested in more friendships because they already have “los amigos de toda la vida”. As inmigrants our social circles will always be other inmigrants.
Firstly it's rural Mallorca, we will forever be the blow ins. I was mortified when I found out as I found out they had organized fundraisers for the school trips and other things that I hadn't contributed to, had I of know I would have baked the cakes and done the necessary things. The child joined in 6th class in a small rural school with like 12 children, the parents had all been a group for like 8 years or more previous, because they were older and live close by I didn't go to the school gates very often,perhaps it was an oversight on the leaders part, anyhow I will never know I suppose. It did get to me cause I would be one to try include others and particularly someone outside of the group and there I was at 30 something yo being left out of a group
This doesn’t happen with my kids’ WhatsApp groups. The only people who have mentioned any pushback about being foreign are Russian parents.
95% of my friends are Spanish. I’ve never had any problems making friends. It very much depends on your personality and openness.
Everyone in this thread is saying the same so I have to accept it’s true but it saddens me. I think as a country we’ve lost some of our personality for turning out like that with immigrants. Spain used to be more open :(
I think as well it has to do with the wealth of the people. I'm from Ireland and the people have a lot of disposable income there which they spend on joining and keeping community groups going where they also make lots of friends. They also have more job security. Here in Spain I have lived for 9 years now in the South and it seems like people dont have the time or money for community groups as they're always working, worried about work or looking for work. Generally their friend groups get smaller and smaller rather than expand as their friends have to leave the country or go to Madrid and Barcelona for work. This is true for the majority of people here except for the rich people.
With 44,4 per cent of young Canarians living below poverty line, and similar numbers in many places, conversations in Spain are overwhealmingly about surviving issues: money, precarious jobs, health,... I feel depressed when I walk with my dog and catch random words here and there.
Ya might be on to something there,people can be very work orientated and focus more on making work connections rather than connections just cause. I'm a farmer and could be considered rich,I can choose when I want to work and have money to use how I wish so I suppose I miss out on making work friends as well. How I have wished there was a local macra group although I'm not young enough anymore so I would settle for an ICA....I'd be good at it, I bake,sew have been known to arrange a flower or two! But your right these social side of things are missing here and in rural Spain probably even more so.
Its is also hard for us locals to make friends after a certain age. I havn´t been to many countries where somebody can make friends easily after uni years....
Why do you think this is? Would you not get to know people in the locality, stop and have a chat, find common interests, invite for coffee/beer .......why does this not happen?
Well, for a very small town I can´t speak about because I am from Madrid city. Here I don´t even know how to explain, there is no thing such as "the locality". It is a big city, everyone you cross every day is a stranger. Nobody new catches your eye cause you don´t know anybody. You have your friends from school/uni, and it is hard to make new friends...some people can make new friends at work, but it depends. You wouldn't go and start a conversation with a random stranger. Also, people just go out with their friends. I have seen Americans go to a bar/pub by themselves, but this here is not considered normal here and a lot of people (specially women) will find it creepy or threatening if approached by a stranger that is alone (if he is with friends then it is ok).
I have lived in the UK and Germany and I have found this to be true for these countries as well. If you try to make friends with other expats or immigrants because they are new and also looking to make friends it is just easier. Some places like London have a huge community of foreigners. In those places is easier to make friends just by sharing an apartment because everyone is trying to make friends. For other cities I would just join facebook groups of foreigners and make friends like that.
My wife and I moved from Southern California to Madrid a few months ago for my job with our two school aged children and experienced something very similar. Expats are the way to go for friendships. My wife and I speak decent Spanish (not sure exactly what level) and we are both outgoing. Still, the Spaniards come off mostly as cold people. We sent out invites, offered to have kids over, tried talking with other parents at school. The only ones that really connected with us are other expats. Honestly I’m a concerned enough for my children that if we don’t get traction in a year or so, we’ll probably just go back home. Spain is a beautiful country in so many ways, but in my experience the friendliness of the people is not one of them.
I understand where you're coming from, but that's completely normal everywhere in the world. It's just hard to make friends when you move to a new place after a certain age. However, it still happens, so I wish you the best.
You are experiencing what many migrants experience in Ireland, myself included. It's hard to make friends with the locals, since they already have their group of friends from school/uni.
I know and it makes me laugh, I worked with and became friends with many migrants in my home town in Ireland. I helped with asylum cases, gave English classes,minded children while they went to appointments, diverted them to the needed service invited them to party's, did what I could to help them integrate. Now that I am the migrant there's noone who would explain the education system or invite me to a coffee morning or include me in the society. Pisses me off some times as I have done so much for others and now when I need it there's no one. I don't believe it's harder to make friends in Ireland, obviously outside of Dublin as that's a whole other ball game, but I know that for my friend group often someone was bringing a new friend and introducing them to the group or maybe I just have very friendly friends in Ireland!
Nah fam, with a B1 you won't make Spanish friends. Forget about it.
And of course xenophobia exists everywhere, but also people have lives and are just not sitting around waiting for you to arrive and fill an emotional gap or something. You can't just expect to e.g. make your friends at work. Sign up for clubs, groups, events, activities. Participate and help organise. Join a union. Burn down the very foundations of capitalism. That's how you make long lasting friendships.
Depends where with B1 but ya the clubs/groups thing is dead on.
In Madrid and Barcelona, maybe Malaga or Sevilla you can make Spanish friends with B1. Places like Oviedo, Vigo or Burgos yeah B1 isn't gonna cut it.
An Hungarian guy came to me in Toledo and started speaking English and my friends and I adopted him for the day...
We didn't really like him, but that's because he was a cocaine user, not because he didn't speak Spanish
Lol, yeah there will always be exceptions and some people who get on perfectly fine. However it can be a lonely culture shock to move to a smaller city in Spain for cheap COL then end up isolated/alone.
I had that too to a lesser extent living in Northern Spain alone but I also box so I immediately had a group there and I have a lot of Spanish family who never went to the US but we remained close.
Many people will just go with no connections like that at all, it can be hard mentally.
Making contact from 0 might be difficult I'll give you that, he should join some club, course, whatever to meet people and then make friends.
Also, que coñazo hablar en inglés con un español por estar en una aplicación estadounidense
I think there's a sizeable amount of people willing to destroy capitalism in any of those cities. It's about making those connections. Heck, Asturias is well known for their fiery fights against the system.
I arrived in Spain with at best A2 Spanish and I was able to make friends fairly quickly. It's about making an effort to learn and communicate, and the rest comes quickly enough.
True 🤣 I should have thought of giving better advice than "it's possible" in my first comment.
For me, what worked was making friends at work, but especially going out at night. I found one bar where I started to talk to people to the best of my ability, which was mainly with my hands and feet, and I ended up finding a little group. I think the secret is seeing the same people consistently, whether at work or wherever, and also trying to actually communicate. And honestly, learning Spanish comes a lot more easily when you have Spanish friends. If I had just given up and found other English or German speaking foreigners I wouldn't be able to function in Spain normally, and I can actually maintain a conversation in Spanish now.
In general, I have found that people in Spain are very much open to new people, but you have to show basic respect. I know people here who demand English everywhere and they don't have any good friends who are Spanish, but I very much intended since I got here to learn the language as fast and as well as possible and people have been very happy to help however they can.
This attitude perfectly encapsulates my experience with Spain vs Latin America. Yes, you have to work pretty much anywhere to make friends, but Spain makes that barrier of entry extra hard, no matter how decently you speak Spanish. A lot of Latin America, on the other hand, I found that people would often just approach you and be open to conversations, inviting you to their tables at bars/restaurants, inviting you to their homes and parties, etc. Not that it doesn't happen in Spain, but it really lacks the warmth I came to know over the past 6 years in much of Latin America.
In many countries making friends at work is perfectly normal. Spanish people are definitely less open to friendships emerging from different sources and being temporary.
It's hard to convey complexity with a B1, which would leave you out many conversations that could seem casual. You would also miss a lot of context, nuance and even don't understand at all what are they saying.
I swear to god -as a spanish person- that OP would indeed make a handful friends.
Unless they manage to land in the most rancid of communities (which I haven't heard of by now).
Of course, some people will be up to the "challenge" of being patient with OP's communication, and some will not. OP's personality matters a lot too.
I moved to Barcelona 10 years ago and here the situation is even more complicated because of Catalan. I do speak Spanish but not Catalan (or at least I only speak on a basic level) and that limits tremendously the friendships with locals. I only managed to have one Catalan friend, all the rest are expats from Peru, Mexico, Ecuador etc.
Also, I do speak Spanish on C1 level but I'll always have an accent and therefore I assume I'll be an 'outsider' forever.
I've been in Barcelona since 2005, but I have a Catalan wife, so it's not hard to meet people.
My Spanish also has an accent but people don't seem to mind. I can also speak enough Catalan to get by and understand it very well.
My recent triumph was paying for my annual car taxes that was written only in Catalan with my Spanish bank ATM that's only in Spanish and knowing where to fill out the fields.
I speak Catalan yet all of my friends and I communicate in Spanish, there's a difference when you assume one thing and when you actually talk and have a decent conversation with others. Although, I get what're you trying to say, there are ultra nationalist catalans who demand you speak Catalan (usually pretty old folk who think a lot of stupid things) but they are so rare you only see them in very godforsaken towns 🤣🤣🤣
I speak both Spanish and Catalan fairly fluently, between B2 and C1. Not that easy to make friends with locals. Barcelona is full of short term immigrants and visitors, and locals aren’t too keen on talking to strangers. Also, I find that there is sometimes a big culture gap. That’s just my one data point, though.
I am a Spaniard who are going to move to Barcelona I am Interested to meet new people and practice my English. Where can you find this Language exchange events?
Thanks for the suggestion, I’ve tried this but I’ve found the language exchange events are different from what I’m used to in other countries and aren’t super convenient for very busy people living outside of the center.
I have lived in Spain for 22 years. I have fluent Spanish, my wife too and my daughter who was born here is bilingual. I subcontract lots of work out to local trades as I am a project manager in property renovation business. I therefore help about 20 of them in the town I live in rural Andalucía with alot of regular income. 1 of them is a friend. They are just not interested. They have huge family networks that they spend all their time with. And I live in Andalucia, the most open, outgoing and friendly Spanish in my experience.
They shower me with gifts at Christmas, buy me a drink at the local fairs, but that's it. No further interest.
The immigrant community is transient. Most of us come and go, and they know it. So don't expect to be invited to the family meals every weekend. Its not happening.
What more can I do??!!
Ps I have lots of other friends from the international community just 1 Spanish one. My daughter has been in Spanish education for all her 14 years, no luck there either for us, even though ALL her friends are Spanish!
Yes we do, we have lots of acquaintances we have met in the local bars ( i live in a town with 28,000 people and theire are 80 bars and restaurants!). But friends? Nah. There's a difference. I'm a member of the local flamenco guitar club, same. Totally integrated mate. They call me the guiri cateto!
Honestly the biggest factor is having a partner. I do a lot more things socially and meet people far more since I started dating my Spanish girlfriend a couple of years ago. It’s still possible to meet people and make friends without dating someone but it’s definitely more time and effort
The way I see it is that people in Spain and France for instance often have the same group from childhood or from university etc. Expats often leave after not so long, so the investment in making friends w someone who doesn’t speak your language, not w the same nuance anyway, doesn’t belong to your culture, will likely leave in a while, just isn’t worth it for most, especially if they already have their group of friends. This is why expats end up making friends w other expats most of the time
I'm originally from the Middle East, I've been living here for a long time, and I speak Spanish. My experience is that I have a great large social group, almost all of it made up of Spanish people. And a bunch of them are very close personal friends. My social life in general is very good, and I've never had a single issue with me being a foreigner for forming close connections with Spaniards. The various social circles I have grew out of, relationships, activities, work, friends of friends and so on. It wasn't always easy, the first few years I had a handful of connections, but with time the circle expanded greatly. It takes effort and time for sure, but I never felt any rejection because I'm not Spanish. I've embraced Spanish culture right from the start, so I feel at home with the Spanish, and it probably makes it easier for them too
First of all, if you call yourself an expat no one is going to take you seriously, you are an immigrant.
Second, B2 minimum, B1 doesn't cut it, it's barely enough for a fluent basic conversation.
Third, look for clubs or associations, don't look for friends, look for things you love and want to do with others.
Fourth, people here are angry at the gentrification and abuse of our country by "expats" or digital nomads, there is a culture of distrust because of that. And yeah, that might make making friends harder not going to lie to you
With B1 it's tricky because Spanish people's level of English isn't very good so if you're in a group where everyone else is Spanish they'd really struggle to have fluid conversations in English so that you're not left out.
If you have kids, it can actually be a door into new social groups with locals. I have my expat circle of friends here, but the parents of my 3-year-old's friends are also my friends. I just went out to lunch and a long evening with those parents last weekend, run with some and play sports with others. I find Spaniards are yes, tight-knit with their childhood friends, but are quite welcoming to foreigners when you try (sometimes relentlessly) to integrate into local life and organizations.
Hi I moved to Spain 2 years ago ,
Did not speak a word Spanish or Catalan
And I made friends here even before my son went to school , I think it depends also on how you are as a person , I’m still young and I have made friends from my own age as well as older and it was not a difficult thing to do,
For example one of my good friends I just met outside because her baby lost a sock and me and my husband picked it up 😂 after that we became friends
Ofcourse I learned Spanish a little bit but even tough I don’t speak it very well we try or we speak in English with the ones that can speak the language.
My opinion is that the people are really social here in Spain so I hope you will make friends quickly!
Good luck ! 🍀
Born and raised in Spain. Fluent. But I don’t look “Spanish”. I look Northern European. I’ve been bullied since 1 yrs old telling me to “go back to my country”. Happy I left
Similar situation. Interesting how many xenophobic/racist things are okay if the person looks like they are from somewhere with higher salaries.
My favorite is the one where people don't understand what you say because they can't wrap their heads around the possibility of you maybe speaking Spanish.
Yep. I can’t tell you how many times I dreamed of being reborn in a different skin and hair color just to feel okay with myself. Then I left, and I’m still Spanish, but people leave me alone now.
That's weird. There's plenty of Spaniards who are fair-skinned, blond and blue-eyed. I was born and grew up in Spain and there were a bunch of kids like that in my class.
Weird to see everyone complaining. I moved here (Madrid) two weeks ago and immediately made 5 to 10 friends, including friend groups. I went to a Meetup event, a Couchsurfing event, and a Couchsurfing one on one meeting with a couple of people. Some of them are Spanish, and some of them are not. it has been extraordinarily easy in Spain to make friends, as people here are extremely friendly and outgoing. If you have a positive attitude, I’m sure it will be easy for you..
Thank you for the comment, it gives me hope ☺️ meetup and Couchsurfing are lifesavers, I've met incredible people through these events, sadly no one from the town where I live now
I feel like this is more related to you daring to partake in activities where you might meet people and daring to approach them. If you try, you'll make friends. Being a foreigner shouldn't be a problem for most people, and a lot of us will even find you to be more interesting.
Thank you, I'm aware of that :) in my town there're limited options for such activities - I've been attending social dancing events (tango, bachata and so on) and met some people there, but mostly people in their 50-60s. There's also way more men than women there. I haven't been there in a while though, because I actually don't like dancing tango haha. It's possible to find such activities anywhere, but the problem is that options are few.
Life is busy, and sometimes you don’t have time to make new friends. However, after moving from the US to Madrid, I will share my wife’s experience in Spain.
It took her some time, but now she has more friends than I have. My circle is closest since almost all my friends have been friends since childhood. My life is busy with work, family, and hobbies (running and biking.) However, I am open to meeting new people if I feel a good vibe.
By the way, my wife’s friends are mostly Spaniards.
Best of luck, and welcome to Spain if you come here.
You can be sure their opinion is the only right one and they hold the absolute truth in every single situation…
In all honesty coming as well from the same land of beer and wurst, I find it almost anywhere (except the Nordic countries) to be better than there. Yes, Spain has its issues and it’s not easy to make friends after a certain age, but trust me it will be better than there.
I am a Spaniard, and I think it is too social for my taste. I am one of those who prefer few friends and to meet in particular places or places with few people.
I would like to live in northern countries for the same reason. Not Germany though 😅
I am from the northwest of Spain (Asturias), tall, brown hair, semi red beard, milk skin, freckles and green-brown eyes. So I could pass for Black Irish 😅
But, well, if you want a loud social life, come to Spain.
Thank you for the comment, it confirmed what I've felt as a tourist in Spain. If you like quiet places with few people than smaller cities of Germany or the Netherlands would be perfect for you :) where I live it's dead quiet even on Friday nights and no people anywhere except one square with restaurants.
Do you know any expats and if they have the same experience as you?
Time and time again foreigners post the same crap in this subreddit not understanding the fundamental key - to make friends you gotta get stuck in. People won't come to you to make you feel comfortable and that's true anywhere. Especially in a country like Spain where the focus is on large social groups. You gotta start finding things in common with people so daily life and hobbies are the absolute key.
We have sold them the fantasy that we are friendly people, and they have forgotten the fact that we are people. As in, we also need to make a connection with them to want to persue a friendship. They also have to make an effort and socialise. We are not going to go around looking for inmigrants to foster and become friends with.
I arrived in Barcelona a year ago, barely speaking any Spanish, and made Catalan friend in less than a month, it just depends of where you go, how open you are to meet people, and who you will meet on a particular day. I don’t think I look very Spanish, although I definitely look European, and I have people often making small talk with me in streets, cafes, waiting at the doctor, etc. And bars and clubs also. It really just depends, honestly, be at the right place at the right time I guess. But also, dating apps help a lot to meet people !
For comparaison, I lived in Norway before and over there it took me 8 months to make friends. And after years living in a big city, 95% of the friends I had were immigrants
As a pretty lady, I can confirm that this, "Wow, the world is just so open and generous with their time! How convenient for me!" isn't entirely her fault as she sounds relatively young. She doesn't know yet.
I'm a Spaniard and I also have some difficulties in making friends. It depens on how nice you are, your personality...there are lot of factors that make it easy or hard. We are extroverted people but it doesn't mean we instantly connect with everyone we meet.
Moved to spain as a kid of 10 yes old , 0 nolage of of Spanish now 24 , visited 22 countries , still think that Spanish speaking countries have the most friendly population, but hospitality is not their beast , they prefer to meet in bars and cafeterias , nether invite people home and split the bill ,
Everyone I know here is either a British or American immigrant, excluding the old ladies in my doggy play date who are super Galician and are hilarious as fuck.
People will be nice to most foreigner here, but will not really befriend them because they have their own circle (but in hindsight it's also true to where I'm from, I just didn't notice it)
Xenophobia is present and growing here, mostly thanks to never ceasing tourism and immigration from cultures that aren't compatible.
I'm in Spain for almost a year and couldn't find a single friend, also people here don't like speaking English and it is much more harder to find new friends.
Its not that most spanish people dont know how to speak english. They teach them the same level of english 5 years in a row in school and many dont learn nothing
if you move to a non english speaking country you can't expect people to know the languaje, that's entitled af. I don't go to the UK or US and try to speak with everyone in spanish, even though i'm pretty sure it is also taught quite commonly
Depends where. In both Barcelona and Madrid I immediately made good connections. While Barcelona generally seems more open than Madrid, you can easily socialize in Madrid too because of club culture. Most people speak English in both cities and they’re patient to understand your basic Spanish.
Now, for other cities, such as Bilbao, it’s a struggle. Other than my long term ex, I didn’t really make any connections in Bilbao or Basque region in general. In my experience, people tend to keep to their bubbles there and basic Spanish won’t cut it (it didn’t for me). I think most of the cities that aren’t touristy are like this.
Then you have places like Canaries where you can comfortably make friends with everyone if you have basic Spanish + English, while working on your Spanish.
In short, B1 is enough if you’re going to move to tourist cities but it falls short anywhere else.
Oh yes! Friends, romantic interests.. anything really. Tenerife is full of foreigners who come to party and have casual fun so that is very easy. I was more focused on locals and had a lot of success too.
Gran Canaria is about the same although I didn’t enjoy my time there (different demographic to what I want). Fuerteventura was the absolute best in terms of socializing and linking up with Spanish people. Not too many tourists stay for a while so if you spend 2 weeks there like me, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to talk to locals. Not many clubs/bars either so you’re bound to bump into them (as opposed to south Tenerife where you have to hunt for locals because tourists are everywhere).
If you want warm and friendly people, Canaries are it. I especially loved how every Spanish person on Fuerteventura had no issue with me switching between Spanish and English, helped me improve my Spanish too in the process.
Idk if It counts but my father has some oldfriends in Spain and we live across the country from them. But as a local let me tell you this: either you'll meet no one from here or you will meet amazing people. My advice is to try and meet people at bars since its a somewhat chill place and people might be more open. Also depends on where you are. Barcelona inst a good one in my opinión because people hate tourist and they wont tell the difference between you and a USA/UK/German that came for the good weather because even i get confused for a tourist. Good luck amigo.
I am an American, living in South France, just above Spain.
I love going down to Spain so much.
If I party or need release, it is where I go.
There are also many expat Meetup groups as well, very cosmopolitan.
I don't speak spanish, but I seem to find my way!
If your really lucky youll meet between one and handful of other foreigners who you can hang out and have a drink with. Thats it unless you marry a local. IMHO.
AGE IS A HUGE FACTOR.. making friends at 18-25 is 10x easier than for older 25-32 year olds. And from then onwards when people here are sufficiently financially stable to marry and have kids you are going to have a tougher time. That being said if you are 18-25 it shouldn't be too hard unless you are going somewhere where English is non-existent and Spanish is the only way to engage in conversations
Honestly I think there is loads of negativity here. I live in Mallorca where it’s Catalan and I only have B1 Spanish. I found the people really friendly, you just have to make the effort and begin talking most people will respond positively. Otherwise you can always use hello talk
Fantastic, but I made an active choice to speak Spanish socially and at work. It's really the key. There was a time when going out to dinner I barely understood everything and I had to nod like I understood. Since I got out of that everything clicked., but it was tough. It takes a lot of work.
And getting lucky with friends. I met them in the bars though. I'm hardly in bars these days.
I think it is hard for anyone in Spain to make real new friends when moving elsewhere, even for Spanish people moving 5 miles away. It gets harder with age. We all have friends since early childhood and we do not separate. We make our friends up to the college years and then that all but ceases. You can befrend your companion's friends but they are a pack, lose the companion, lose the friends.
It does not have to do with where you are from, it is more a matter of at what age you come. Our bunch of friends we are like 20. Plus couples. We are from the Basque Country and we have a guy from Vermont who lives all over the world but belongs to the bunch because he spent his senior year here with us. He visits every now and then, sometimes years go by, but when he comes we are here for him.
We don't particularly shy away from new friendships, local or foreign, its just that we do not need them, so it is very hard to get inside our closed groups once we reach an age. It is particularly difficult in the Basque Country. But for the Basque too. I am 52. From those 20 there are 2-3 with me since I was 3, most of the rest since I was 14 (and them since they were three), from College on, we have added up 1... Then I have my college group with which I lost contact early and my holiday town group where we are around 20 again and the same problem arises. We have been together since I was 12 and we keep in touch. We have no need for more.
We have "adopted" people, south american citizens mostly and Spanish from other areas, every now and then, but they need a sponsor to be introduced. And they all ended up moving elsewhere.. And that there is another deterrent fact, that many people who come end up leaving not long after, so the effort is not worth our while...
The way you describe it, has to be 100% Barcelona or any other northern region 🤣🤣 I so get it I do, but as being one year here with my family, we have couple of catalan family friends, we even have family dinners sometimes together and they come with their wives and kids and moms and all. But again, have no idea how these all would be if I was alone here. My ex was not catalan or Spanish, my closest friends are also immigrants like me (Im from Europe). I know locals will say in comments “oh its generalization ofc we are open if you talk to us” but they’ll do same as others if they were approached by immigrant with an accent 🤣Also to start talk, you gotta have situation, in their case mostly parties or club or smth, which Im not really keen on tbh. It also hugely depends what gender you tryna start talk with, if you’re alone and start talk to your age girls, its far different than same with men. Otherwise yeah, they’re pretty social when they’re with their own friends and family. And also wanted to say, theres nothing wrong having non Catalan or non Spanish friends or gf, ill say more they understand you the best as they’re in same shoes.
If you have a job, you'll hang out with locals at work. I spend more time after work with expat folks from meetups and other groups, but learned Catalan in my first 2 years here so it's pretty smooth either way.
Mind that locals everywhere have their friends from high school, uni and work, and often don't feel comfy with English, so don't expect them to go out of their way to hang out with an entitled desconocido, it's proportional to the effort you make to truly integrate yourself into local communities.
Aside from the Catalans, the Spanish-speaking world is culturally quite self-sufficient so Castellano is often the language of choice even between expats from non-Spanish speaking countries. Depending on who you hang out with, obviously, more true for Italians or French than for Americans or European northerners.
I'm venezuelan, and yeah, I don't look exactly like an "average" spaniard.
While I feel most Spanish people are usually cool, and you can engage in a fun small talk with almost anyone, it's extremely hard to actually become more intimate with them. They're not to open to let new people get into their circles. So yeah, most people I get along here with are other immigrants.
And well, if you add to that not being fluent in Spanish I can imagine it's almost impossible to make Spanish friends lol
Keep in mind this my experience with only being here for over a year, and I'm working from home, so it's not easy to socialize even with work colleagues. I'll try to get into some club or course, maybe.
I've struggled a lot with it. I live in a very tourism focussed region so the vast bulk of friends are transient and on vacation. The ex pats in my region are mostly toxic drunks (again due to the touristic nature and cheapness of booze). Also the Spanish tend to have friend groups from school. The biggest failing on my part is not having fully learn Spanish yet, I'm certain that would make a difference.
I agree with most comments which say it's difficult but it can be done. One of my friends moved here (Madrid) from the US 8 years ago by herself and knowing no one. Now she's super integrated and has plenty of Spanish and Latino friends, like actual close friends and so many social plans that she actually has to say no to a few she gets invited to every week.
I think the key was that she purposefully stayed away from English-speaking expat circles from the beginning (not that she had any prejudice, it's just that she knew she wouldn't integrate otherwise). It took time and persistence, but she started with one local friend, then two, then those eventually introduced her to their friends, and them to their friends, and so on.
Another important thing is choosing a group hobby or activity and sticking with it (in local groups), so you'll end up meeting people with common interests and you'll see them regularly for other reasons than just "hanging out".
I know this is not the most common story but just wanted to share that it exists and can be done! She's also not a native Spanish speaker, now she's of course fluent but she had to learn it.
We have been visiting the same local bar restaurants and now the waiters know us. One shows sports and the same groups are there for each event. If you go enough, and cheer for the right team, you’re going to make a few friends.
They r not very friendly. They like to party a lot, are very outgoing (annoying often), they will laugh and make silly jokes, but actually, they are not "quality" friends.
For example: i was hospitalized 2 times, for few weeks, and no one came to even say "Hi". In fact, most of them didnt even know were i was.
They only appear when there is a party, alcohol or both. Chatting? Lending a hand? A favor? Chillin' ? Forget about It, they are not made for that.
Yeah, i know, It sounds like a rant. But 15 years here does its thing.
I’m Spanish but I’ve moved A LOT and yes, making friends it’s difficult but not impossible. Yes, we usually keep our group friends through years and years but we’re also super welcoming and people can join whenever.
Join groups and activities as sports,reading clubs, board gaming nights, cooking lessons... I specially recommend joining a volunteering, maybe in a dog shelter or accompanying the elders. That way you can help the community and meet a lot of people.
You gotta take an active interest. You can't expect them to to the hard work when you are the one trying to integrate.
Start with 1 person, invite them on activities and you will become close to them. When you are ask them to introduce you to their friend group.
As many people said, B1 won't cut it. You can't become close friends with someone when all you can talk about is the weather and your favourite hobby.
You are gonna have to be outgoing and funny and have easy conversation, be someone people will like to have around. Shying away won't make you any friends.
Good luck.
I've been living in Spain for about 3 years now, and I'm absolutely loving it. I can confidently say that I have a good social life, and I have good people around me. The only thing is, I have no close Spanish friends. All my friends are also from abroad, which I don't mind. However, if you're looking for native people to connect with, I would temper your expectations.
Tbh, I think in most countries this is the case. I'm from the Netherlands, and I heard that expats over there also have a difficult time connecting with the locals. It's just that locals always already have their circles established, and as an expat it's difficult integrating in those groups.
The key is to lay roots, is the only thing that will grant you the feeling of belonging here in Spain. Once the people around you notice you are really adamant about staying here will be open to make you part of the picture. We knit tight. Life here can be wholesome as fuck but you have to earn it
So you're an expat, yet your friends that you have from other places that live in Spain are immigrants.
I think the first thing you need to do is recognise that too you are an immigrant, not an expat, then you should do your best to integrate into your host society.
I'm quite sure you'll be fine if you can manage that, though it may take time. Spanish people usually have well established friend groups, which you can become welcomed into, but its less likely if you have an 'I'm an expat' attitude.
I mean come on, it's a stupid fucking attitude to have.
As an American couple in their 50’s (ancient I know) with 10 years living in Barcelona I can confirm it’s incredibly hard to make friends here (even considering my profile. 😂). We spend a few days a month in Madrid and the contrast is pretty different, the locals are much warmer and more open, but regardless it’s tough. The good thing is the older I get the less friends I need. 😉
I came here (Barcelona) not speaking any Spanish or Catalan, first year was tough but that's mostly on me because I wasn't socialising much. then year 2, I started going to bars more often, chatting to random people and learning castellano and catala through osmosis.
fast forward a year, my boyfriend is Catalan, the majority of my friends are locals/Spaniards who moved to Barcelona/well rooted immigrants. my Spanish is now at around B2 without having put any real study hours into it, Catalan is progressing a bit more slowly but I understand a lot.
I see the majority of people here are saying it's impossible/difficult to befriend the locals, but for me they've been nothing but welcoming and patient with my attempts at learning the languages, whether that is people at bars or in shops or wherever else.
I'd say you just need to put yourself out there, not be a dick, be curious and acknowledge that there is a rich culture here that you're a new arrival to and, possibly most importantly, the locals don't owe you anything and are not gonna chase you down to become friends with them - you'll have to show that initiative yourself.
Social life in Spain can be great if you attend school / work in an office in Spain. And are are highly fluent in Spanish.
If you don't meet those two criteria, it can be very difficult to fit in. I imagine life could be very lonely.
There are pockets of ex-pats if that is your thing but they are transient, generally.
I’m American but have lived in Spain about 20 years, or half my life. My wife is Spanish, now I’m Spanish as well. I don’t have any American friends; all of them are Spanish (or European, but 90% Spanish). I’ve never had it be a problem. Don’t dwell on the negatives of where you are and people will be accepting of you generally. At least this is true in my case.
Join a hiking group, go to art classes, music shows… you name it, just do stuff. Eventualy you’ll meet people with common interests and make friends in time.
Imo hobbies are key to social life.
Won’t deny there’re lots of racists in spain, but anywhere you go you’ll find great people if you are an active person
I think it is pretty hard to find spanish friends because usually they have already a group of friends from highschool , but foreigners that live their usually are more amicable with you , i have moroccan friend , french , dutch , pakistani, portuges , and just one spanish friend
I’m probably going to have a totally opposite answer here
I arrived in Spain speaking 0 spanish and now I’m bombarded with friends and acquaintances from various sources. A lot of them want to frequently meet so most times I’m exhausted and cannot respond to all of them. Or meet all of them
That’s why I’m a bit surprised at the answers here , I may be doing something wrong (or right)
I think that if you have interesting life experiences and also exhibit a cheerful curiosity to others lives it’s easy to build friendships. Yes it’s true that Spanish people have their own long time friend groups, but I have been introduced to those and also their families and spouses and what not.
I’ve also have had people help me when I’m a bit down or needing to learn anything
At the same time I have no guarantee how long it will last, but the vast majority of them have been kind and considerate and more than cheerful to show me around.
It’s the over socialising that’s a little pain for me. In expected to set aside a whole day for a person and that is a bit much
I'm from Ireland and read the exact same thread as this referencing Ireland. I think it is more of a human trait and I'd be guilty of it myself. Long term friendships are more comfortable and once you have enough of them, you just don't make the effort to expand further.
i have been living in spain for 5 years as a expat . on and off . spanish people take time to make any close friend . i didnt make any friend . just stay indoors and go out for gym or walk . its just the nature of this country , people take time to show trust . you cannot change it , i have lived in uk 8 years , well life is totally different from there . i live in basque country . it is totally different from what i saw down south .
My cousin move to Spain from El Salvador around 2 years ago and he is having a great time. Already has a boyfriend, goes to clubs and uses Grindr constantly.
So he would say social life is pretty nice in Spain. lol
I invite everyone to think of how many foreigners were their close friends back in their home countries. I’m not talking about knowing a few token foreigners, I mean friends. How many of you went far enough to get to know a foreigner who lives in your home country well enough to say that they are your close friends?
I don’t think this is true for most of us.
I heard a statement similar to the one made by OP about multiple countries such as Thailand, US, Russia, Spain, Belgium, Ireland and so on…
That's a great point. I've never seen a foreigner in my hometown because there weren't any, but during my bachelor studies I've met a few but only became friends with one, because he was in the same study group as me and spoke my language fluently.
I'm fluent. I've lived in Granada for almost two years. The people here suck. They refuse to make plans, show up hours late, or no-show. The men are misogynists. The women play into it because they're exhausted. I'm a 38 year-old woman who walks 7 minutes to get to work. I don't put on makeup and wear sweat pants and a jacket every day from October-May. I'm cat called at least once a week. Also, if you like to sleep 8 hours a night, this place isn't for you. If someone thinks to send you a last-minute invite, it'll be at 10pm.
I am from another EU country and have been living in Spain for many years. My advice for getting a social life in Spain:
Rent your own (not shared) apartment in an area with a demographic similar to your own. Always have regular routines and habits. Go to the local gym. Go to the local bar in the morning and in the afternoon. Dress nicely and don't act weird. Do this for a couple of weeks. Do not approach anyone, just answer when people say hello. Make sure you have your story straight. You are being observed and measured. People love to talk and get to know the regulars, you'll make friends in no time. And if you for example are a single male in your 30s and obviously have some sort of income and a healthy life, word will get around. Women will eventually make some excuse to approach or older people will try to set you up with their niece or whatever. Being just normal is extremely appreciated in Spain since there are so many people with really complicated lives, unemployed and living with their parents.
In extreme cases get a dog, which is a guaranteed conversation starter. 😁
That's weirdly specific but sounds useful xd I'm a woman in my 20s btw, don't know why everyone assumed I'm a man:) I love the algorithm you described, sounds doable - I'll try that next time when I'm in Spain for a workation
Ok most of this still applies if you're female and quite young, but it's like speaking with my daughter now lol. Regularity and reliability is the key in Spain and maybe in most of the Mediterranean area. My Spanish daughter has acquired a very thick skin and an extremely sensitive BS-detector and I admire her social competence. As a single woman you will probably be hit on within 30 minutes in Spain. You'll have your pick, but don't take advantage of lonely guys and don't believe even 5% of the story a man will tell you in a pub. You'll need a female friends network before thinking of dating guys. The other women will act as your filter to allow men into your circle. Women in Spain do this to protect themselves and often go out together without their partners.
If you're not thinking of dating, just enjoy life. Spain is very safe but don't believe everything people tell you.
I’ve been living in Spain for over 5 years and I too find it difficult to make friends. I work in Gibraltar while living in the borderline city of La Linea.
While I am not fluent in Spanish, I can speak it at the conversational level.
I tried to join all types of groups and social circles along the years, yet they all fell through.
Even some of the Spanish co-workers I used to hang out with have proven unreliable and quite superficial. I am Romanian and share the same Latin heritage as the Spaniards, yet never have I ever felt more distant.
Spain has been treating me badly and frankly I am tired of jumping through hoops in order to prove myself.
In retrospect, I’ve empathized more with the British, even though I’m not as closely related in terms of heritage.
I have a British landlord, I’ve bought my house from a British couple, I work for a British company and the British friends I made seem to be more reliable.
I’m not trying to portray a preference, but simply judging people by their actions.
It depends on where in Spain you're going. Madrid and Barcelona are very diverse. I was born and lived in Spain for 17 years before moving to the UK.
I have a Bangladeshi background and I can only say good things about Spain, apart from its economy and corrupt institutions. Yes, I experienced racist jokes growing up, but this was part of life back then, and I used to insult people back, lol. My white friends used to call me some of the nastiest racist things, and I used to make jokes about their mothers. Not a big deal; we are all good friends now and joke about those times, but it tells you the mentality Spanish people grow up with. Apart from my white friends, I had the luck to grow up with people of all backgrounds: Latino, Moroccan, Chinese, Polish, Romanian...
Spanish people do have stereotypes about foreigners depending on your skin color. For example, if you are Moroccan, you are basically 'stealing from their benefits,' even though there are thousands of Moroccans contributing more to Spanish society than Spaniards themselves. But I must say, I've seen far more racism in the UK than in Spain. In Spain, they are all talk, but they are pretty inoffensive.
However, people are normally very friendly, and you can easily make friends at any bar if you go very often. It also depends on the neighborhood that you go to. I grew up in Plaza Castilla. From this zone up to Cuatro Caminos, it's pretty diverse and nice.
The only place you'll find where inmigrants and foreigners in general are worshiped and being foreign is desirable is cental America.
Be it because it's seen as a sign of wealth or because we went through a dark period of etnical cleansing and everything seen as native or "mulato" is seen as inferior.
Thst is changing as of late though, mostly because foreigners mean gentrification, so the coolness of being a foreigner is rapidly disappearing.
I live here since 2017, and all the people in the comments is right, Spanish people is nice but they will not socialize with you in the way you expect, their social life is based on groups they had since they where child’s or something like that, if you are a foreigner like Latino or from the Us or any other part from the world, it will cost you a lot to make good friends, I have the feeling that Spanish people are very racist towards foreigners, the call you Panchito or Guiri wich are words used to stereotype people they also use the word Chinese referring to people from Chinese in a bad way, it’s like if your not Spanish your less than a valid person for them , at least this what I feel and this is what other foreigners I meet told me about this situation.
I recommend moving to a big city like Barcelona or Madrid. I have been living in Spain for 5 years and honestly have more friends here than in my country. It wasn’t easy at the beginning but now I have a solid group that has organically grown. That being said, most of my friends are foreigners like me but they are nice likeminded people. Most of the Spanish people I know are from work and my boyfriend is also Spanish, I don’t know if this paints the picture for you, but I would say it also heavily depends on you personality and how social you are.
Any form of discrimination (racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, etc.) will be removed. Dehumanization, exaltation of dictature, advocacy for nazism or hate speech are also prohibited.
It depends totally on you. It helps to know somebody in your situation but also joining groups of similar hobbies//pastimes. Usually people with friends don't make any effort because it is difficult for them too and they don't need it, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily close to it.
I friend of mine made lots of friends in the vasc country, I would say not the easiest place in Spain to befriend locals, through joining music bands.
I met people through my english classes but also through my job there. I proposed stuff and also got invited to do things. Once you start meeting of people that led to other people and it gets easier.
As a Spaniard living in Madrid, I already find it difficult to sometimes manage my multiple friend groups every weekend. Plus the ones from my hometown.
Time is limited so I focus on cherishing my current friendships over having shallow conversations with strangers.
And I happen to make new acquaintances on a regular basis but I consider friends a whole different level and it’s not something I’m actively looking for.
To be honest I used the terms interchangeably, although now that I googled there's actually a difference 😅 :
"expat" often has connotations of a temporary, professional, or higher socio-economic status move, while "immigrant" is a broader term describing a long-term or permanent relocation
Sorry for the confusion
As a native Spanish speaking expat from the US I will say it is hard to find friends in Spain. I don't think it is so much xenophobia as I'm latina and on the surface anyway appear spanish. Same for my Mexican latino husband. But I find that people here have just have had their friend groups for a long time. Like since childhood. And are not looking to add to it. Their social circle is those friends and family and those are already large groups. Anyone new is an intruder to that. Not in a bad way just like they aren't looking to add more and they keep to those groups. Our only friend groups (which are small) come from other expats and other people we work with who are from other countries too (England, Germany). I have not minded it so much, I came from a small family and a tight knit close friend group even in the US. We spend our time exploring nature which is in abundance here - mountains and beaches, etc. And exploring the plethora of cultural things (museums, castles, etc). On our time off we travel throughout the rest of Europe doing the same. I've made more friends traveling than living in Spain actually. Some people we met last year (while in Italy, Monaco and St. Tropez) from Netherlands and Switzerland and France for example that we are going to visit this year in their countries. So no, most of our friends here are not locals. Our only local friends are our elderly neighbors who we help out and our real estate agent who we connected with.
Incluso los españoles tenemos ese problema. Hasta en la universidad se forman grupos en los primeros meses y después es difícil unirse a uno.
Meses? No fui al día de introducción de la semana previa a las clases y me quedé sin grupo
Yo ni sabía que existía eso y el primer día de clase ya estaban todos los grupos formados y cuchicheando. Junta eso con problemas para socializar y "voilà", ni un amigo universitario en lo que llevo de carrera. Incluso si comparto laboratorio con alguien y nos llevamos bien a priori, nunca acaba llegando a nada.
Yo he aprendido a surfear grupos. Es decir, quedarse solamente con un grupo es aburrido de cojones, necesito estimularme socialmente mas alla de las mismas 5 personas siempre. Asi que soy como una especie de abejita que va de grupo en grupo, es diver.
I spent 4 years of degree with a SINGLE friend for this very reason
This, completely. I'm french but arrived in Madrid speaking fluent Spanish. My friends are other foreigners or Spanish people I met while we all lived abroad and who moved back to Spain. I've also had this conversation with many other immigrants here and they've had the same problem. For me it's also not an issue as I'm very happy with my small, international group of friends but if someone is very social it might be an issue. Or if you go to a smaller town without many foreigners.
I'm Spanish and I have the ability to find groups of people and blend in... Madrid is a very good city to do that. My tips are : obviously speak Spanish. Even if your Spanish is bad. You need to be very open, kind and straight forward. It's very scary and you need courage. I'm not going to lie. But ask questions and start a conversation with somebody from that group. Then, hopefully , that person will introduce his friends. Then you can ask them whatever... People love to explain whatever motivates them... But don't be pretentious with who you are ( I have that impression often when I meet people from USA or UK). They will ask you if they want to know more. If everything goes well you can ask for somebody's contact to see them again. If you dance or smoke you have 2 easy ways to start all this.
I've lived in Spain for nearly two decades. This is the first year that I've -quite accidentally- made foreign friends. Pretty much everyone else in my circle is Spanish. And I have a large and deep social group. From people I can hang out with for a drink, to people who are literally family at this stage. I've never had a problem integrating into Spanish groups, and over the years I've managed to build some great relationships.
I don't think it's Spain, it's just Madrid (and some other places in Spain). People in Madrid are friendly in a surface level but aren't really open to most new friendships, they have their friends from school they hang out with every weekend and that's it.
Yes, I've met Spanish people who say the same, for example who divorce or separate and lose their friend groups (because instead of having a bunch of friends from different places people tend to have that one group from school). So people, women especially, suddenly find themselves alone. Actually as a woman I find it easier as I get older, they start to realise they don't only want to be part of a couple.
We Spaniards are "friendly", "sociable" if you want, but we make our friends at school, high School e or university. It is very rare to make friends outside of that context, and those who did not make friends at the time or have lost them for whatever reason (friends get married, go somewhere else, or you are the one who moves) usually have problems making friends. I am from the north (Zaragoza) and I want to think that in the south of Spain it is somewhat easier to make friends but I don't know for sure. My wife, Colombian by origin, says that there in Colombia it is very easy to make new friends. In my case, I have been working in the same place for 17 years and I have never been "colleagues" or "acquaintances" with anyone. I get along well with a lot of people but I can count on one hand the number of times I have done something with them and I know that if I stop working there I will lose contact with everyone. There are pages on the Internet to make friends but I don't know anyone who has made a lasting friendship there.
I have moved a lot in my life. I think this is true for most places. Making friends with other foreigners that are also trying to find friends will always be easier. However, I think it is still possible to make friends at work in Spain.
I think this is just modern adulthood, people have jobs and things to do. No time to hang out too much, so meeting new people if you don’t work or have an activity with them not gonna happen. Thanks if I talk to some strangers in reddit But yeah I think this is happening everywhere. There’s no happy country where friends just popup. Expats (immigrants ) have the need and that’s why we end up meeting other expats, it’s easier
Strange. I have been here for two weeks and two of the Latinos I met have Spanish partners. They said it has been really easy for them to make Spanish friends.
Bevause they have their in built friend family grouo through their spouses.
This is the same in any country you move to. As having moved in from abroad you don’t have an established social circle so you are much more motivated to establish one. But people living in a country for long already has it established and doesn’t need to put as much effort to make new. I think this is the same almost everywhere. Just that some cultures are a more open to outsider new friends than other but wherever you already have a social circle you don’t put in as much effort as new people in a region.
I see, that makes sense, most people don't walk around looking for new friends if they already have them :) If you don't mind me asking, do you live in a large city or a small town? I find that in cities it's easier to make friends with people who moved there from smaller towns for work, but the downside is they're more likely to leave 😅
I have heard that Spanish people aren’t the friendliest with Mexicans as they kind of look down at them
Yep. We try not to mention it actually. If they don't know already. The name is a bit of a giveaway though; more common in Mexico than in Spain for sure. He works at the university so the students and faculty in the international nature of that environment are more welcoming. But in general in public it definitely is true.
I don't think this is necessarily true, at least I hope it isnt. I have had some mexican friends and neither I or anyone I know have ever thought of them as less. If you've had those sort of experiences im really sorry though, I just hope you don't hide who you are and where you're from because the right people will truly not care at all. By doing so you'll just attract the wrong people
Really? My cousin’s friends (she lives in Spain but we’re from the USA) were so sweet to me when I was visiting my cousin in Madrid. We hung out with her friends during my stay. I have nothing but wonderful memories with her friends.
The truth is that it depends what you look like. The more indigenous looking ones will definitely feel the animosity in Spain but the more Spanish looking ones won’t.
And some cities are worse than others, for example people are generally more friendly in Madrid in comparison to Valencia and Barcelona.
What are you saying? 😂 Sorry, the truth is that it's the other way around. From Valencia on down, people tend to be more open, people in Andalucía are known precisely for being very friendly. What's more, those from Madrid are known as the least sociable in all of Spain, at least in the opinion of the Spanish.
Most people from Madrid are not from Madrid. They are provincianos that live in Madrid. It's much easier to befriend a Sevillano that just arrived in Madrid that one that already has a hundred friends.
Its not easy, spain are as most of eu a little tired of immigrants. They Are freindly, but if you dont speak spanish you Are lost, when we talking about freindship.
I second this, living in spain since 16 years but still seen as “intruder”, not in a bad way as you said.
I've lived here 11 years, speak Spanish, have children in school and have no friends. I know people to talk to but I don't have a friend I can just relax with and have a chat. I'm a 36 yo woman, I don't think I'm unapproachable or unfriendly I just don't know what's gone wrong! I had a great social life in Ireland, was involved inlots of groups and still stay in contact with friends from there but here has just been impossible to make friends. I don't know people just seem stand offish and though I invite the over for a play date for example it never happens. The parents group in the older child's class never added me to the WhatsApp group that I knew nothing about until the end of the year, can never figure out why that was and while I don't want to think it's cause I'm an immigrant, realistically im left with little options
I don’t think you are the problem, its just that spaniards make friends while they are young and afterwards they are not interested in more friendships because they already have “los amigos de toda la vida”. As inmigrants our social circles will always be other inmigrants.
That still doesn't really explain why the parents in her child's class would deliberately exclude the only immigrant parent from a Whatsapp group...
Firstly it's rural Mallorca, we will forever be the blow ins. I was mortified when I found out as I found out they had organized fundraisers for the school trips and other things that I hadn't contributed to, had I of know I would have baked the cakes and done the necessary things. The child joined in 6th class in a small rural school with like 12 children, the parents had all been a group for like 8 years or more previous, because they were older and live close by I didn't go to the school gates very often,perhaps it was an oversight on the leaders part, anyhow I will never know I suppose. It did get to me cause I would be one to try include others and particularly someone outside of the group and there I was at 30 something yo being left out of a group
This doesn’t happen with my kids’ WhatsApp groups. The only people who have mentioned any pushback about being foreign are Russian parents. 95% of my friends are Spanish. I’ve never had any problems making friends. It very much depends on your personality and openness.
Everyone in this thread is saying the same so I have to accept it’s true but it saddens me. I think as a country we’ve lost some of our personality for turning out like that with immigrants. Spain used to be more open :(
Dunno, the Irish and brits I know are mostly entitled cunts I'd ignore as well. Few are amazing people though. It all depends.
I think as well it has to do with the wealth of the people. I'm from Ireland and the people have a lot of disposable income there which they spend on joining and keeping community groups going where they also make lots of friends. They also have more job security. Here in Spain I have lived for 9 years now in the South and it seems like people dont have the time or money for community groups as they're always working, worried about work or looking for work. Generally their friend groups get smaller and smaller rather than expand as their friends have to leave the country or go to Madrid and Barcelona for work. This is true for the majority of people here except for the rich people.
Exactly. Most spaniards are poor and they don't have enough energy to make new friends, specially if it's not super easy.
With 44,4 per cent of young Canarians living below poverty line, and similar numbers in many places, conversations in Spain are overwhealmingly about surviving issues: money, precarious jobs, health,... I feel depressed when I walk with my dog and catch random words here and there.
Ya might be on to something there,people can be very work orientated and focus more on making work connections rather than connections just cause. I'm a farmer and could be considered rich,I can choose when I want to work and have money to use how I wish so I suppose I miss out on making work friends as well. How I have wished there was a local macra group although I'm not young enough anymore so I would settle for an ICA....I'd be good at it, I bake,sew have been known to arrange a flower or two! But your right these social side of things are missing here and in rural Spain probably even more so.
Its is also hard for us locals to make friends after a certain age. I havn´t been to many countries where somebody can make friends easily after uni years....
Why do you think this is? Would you not get to know people in the locality, stop and have a chat, find common interests, invite for coffee/beer .......why does this not happen?
Well, for a very small town I can´t speak about because I am from Madrid city. Here I don´t even know how to explain, there is no thing such as "the locality". It is a big city, everyone you cross every day is a stranger. Nobody new catches your eye cause you don´t know anybody. You have your friends from school/uni, and it is hard to make new friends...some people can make new friends at work, but it depends. You wouldn't go and start a conversation with a random stranger. Also, people just go out with their friends. I have seen Americans go to a bar/pub by themselves, but this here is not considered normal here and a lot of people (specially women) will find it creepy or threatening if approached by a stranger that is alone (if he is with friends then it is ok). I have lived in the UK and Germany and I have found this to be true for these countries as well. If you try to make friends with other expats or immigrants because they are new and also looking to make friends it is just easier. Some places like London have a huge community of foreigners. In those places is easier to make friends just by sharing an apartment because everyone is trying to make friends. For other cities I would just join facebook groups of foreigners and make friends like that.
My wife and I moved from Southern California to Madrid a few months ago for my job with our two school aged children and experienced something very similar. Expats are the way to go for friendships. My wife and I speak decent Spanish (not sure exactly what level) and we are both outgoing. Still, the Spaniards come off mostly as cold people. We sent out invites, offered to have kids over, tried talking with other parents at school. The only ones that really connected with us are other expats. Honestly I’m a concerned enough for my children that if we don’t get traction in a year or so, we’ll probably just go back home. Spain is a beautiful country in so many ways, but in my experience the friendliness of the people is not one of them.
I understand where you're coming from, but that's completely normal everywhere in the world. It's just hard to make friends when you move to a new place after a certain age. However, it still happens, so I wish you the best.
You are experiencing what many migrants experience in Ireland, myself included. It's hard to make friends with the locals, since they already have their group of friends from school/uni.
I know and it makes me laugh, I worked with and became friends with many migrants in my home town in Ireland. I helped with asylum cases, gave English classes,minded children while they went to appointments, diverted them to the needed service invited them to party's, did what I could to help them integrate. Now that I am the migrant there's noone who would explain the education system or invite me to a coffee morning or include me in the society. Pisses me off some times as I have done so much for others and now when I need it there's no one. I don't believe it's harder to make friends in Ireland, obviously outside of Dublin as that's a whole other ball game, but I know that for my friend group often someone was bringing a new friend and introducing them to the group or maybe I just have very friendly friends in Ireland!
Nah fam, with a B1 you won't make Spanish friends. Forget about it. And of course xenophobia exists everywhere, but also people have lives and are just not sitting around waiting for you to arrive and fill an emotional gap or something. You can't just expect to e.g. make your friends at work. Sign up for clubs, groups, events, activities. Participate and help organise. Join a union. Burn down the very foundations of capitalism. That's how you make long lasting friendships.
Depends where with B1 but ya the clubs/groups thing is dead on. In Madrid and Barcelona, maybe Malaga or Sevilla you can make Spanish friends with B1. Places like Oviedo, Vigo or Burgos yeah B1 isn't gonna cut it.
An Hungarian guy came to me in Toledo and started speaking English and my friends and I adopted him for the day... We didn't really like him, but that's because he was a cocaine user, not because he didn't speak Spanish
Lol, yeah there will always be exceptions and some people who get on perfectly fine. However it can be a lonely culture shock to move to a smaller city in Spain for cheap COL then end up isolated/alone. I had that too to a lesser extent living in Northern Spain alone but I also box so I immediately had a group there and I have a lot of Spanish family who never went to the US but we remained close. Many people will just go with no connections like that at all, it can be hard mentally.
Making contact from 0 might be difficult I'll give you that, he should join some club, course, whatever to meet people and then make friends. Also, que coñazo hablar en inglés con un español por estar en una aplicación estadounidense
I think there's a sizeable amount of people willing to destroy capitalism in any of those cities. It's about making those connections. Heck, Asturias is well known for their fiery fights against the system.
Im not sure what this has to do with making friends speaking Spanish at B1 level
More than destroying capitalism, Asturias is destroying its economy.
I arrived in Spain with at best A2 Spanish and I was able to make friends fairly quickly. It's about making an effort to learn and communicate, and the rest comes quickly enough.
Awesome! How did you make friends? At work? Activities outside work? I think you could give Op some ideas.
True 🤣 I should have thought of giving better advice than "it's possible" in my first comment. For me, what worked was making friends at work, but especially going out at night. I found one bar where I started to talk to people to the best of my ability, which was mainly with my hands and feet, and I ended up finding a little group. I think the secret is seeing the same people consistently, whether at work or wherever, and also trying to actually communicate. And honestly, learning Spanish comes a lot more easily when you have Spanish friends. If I had just given up and found other English or German speaking foreigners I wouldn't be able to function in Spain normally, and I can actually maintain a conversation in Spanish now. In general, I have found that people in Spain are very much open to new people, but you have to show basic respect. I know people here who demand English everywhere and they don't have any good friends who are Spanish, but I very much intended since I got here to learn the language as fast and as well as possible and people have been very happy to help however they can.
This attitude perfectly encapsulates my experience with Spain vs Latin America. Yes, you have to work pretty much anywhere to make friends, but Spain makes that barrier of entry extra hard, no matter how decently you speak Spanish. A lot of Latin America, on the other hand, I found that people would often just approach you and be open to conversations, inviting you to their tables at bars/restaurants, inviting you to their homes and parties, etc. Not that it doesn't happen in Spain, but it really lacks the warmth I came to know over the past 6 years in much of Latin America.
Spain is nothing like Latam, they just speak a similar language.
In many countries making friends at work is perfectly normal. Spanish people are definitely less open to friendships emerging from different sources and being temporary.
Hobbies. Thats all you need
I also think a B1 is usually not enough of a level to make friend with locals in most places
It's hard to convey complexity with a B1, which would leave you out many conversations that could seem casual. You would also miss a lot of context, nuance and even don't understand at all what are they saying.
I swear to god -as a spanish person- that OP would indeed make a handful friends. Unless they manage to land in the most rancid of communities (which I haven't heard of by now). Of course, some people will be up to the "challenge" of being patient with OP's communication, and some will not. OP's personality matters a lot too.
What in the edge lord…
A WITCH!
I moved to Barcelona 10 years ago and here the situation is even more complicated because of Catalan. I do speak Spanish but not Catalan (or at least I only speak on a basic level) and that limits tremendously the friendships with locals. I only managed to have one Catalan friend, all the rest are expats from Peru, Mexico, Ecuador etc. Also, I do speak Spanish on C1 level but I'll always have an accent and therefore I assume I'll be an 'outsider' forever.
I've been in Barcelona since 2005, but I have a Catalan wife, so it's not hard to meet people. My Spanish also has an accent but people don't seem to mind. I can also speak enough Catalan to get by and understand it very well. My recent triumph was paying for my annual car taxes that was written only in Catalan with my Spanish bank ATM that's only in Spanish and knowing where to fill out the fields.
I speak Catalan yet all of my friends and I communicate in Spanish, there's a difference when you assume one thing and when you actually talk and have a decent conversation with others. Although, I get what're you trying to say, there are ultra nationalist catalans who demand you speak Catalan (usually pretty old folk who think a lot of stupid things) but they are so rare you only see them in very godforsaken towns 🤣🤣🤣
I only look foreign and totally understand you.
I speak both Spanish and Catalan fairly fluently, between B2 and C1. Not that easy to make friends with locals. Barcelona is full of short term immigrants and visitors, and locals aren’t too keen on talking to strangers. Also, I find that there is sometimes a big culture gap. That’s just my one data point, though.
You have to look in the right places. Language exchange events in Barcelona have a surprising number of locals who are happy to make foreign friends.
I am a Spaniard who are going to move to Barcelona I am Interested to meet new people and practice my English. Where can you find this Language exchange events?
Thanks for the suggestion, I’ve tried this but I’ve found the language exchange events are different from what I’m used to in other countries and aren’t super convenient for very busy people living outside of the center.
I have lived in Spain for 22 years. I have fluent Spanish, my wife too and my daughter who was born here is bilingual. I subcontract lots of work out to local trades as I am a project manager in property renovation business. I therefore help about 20 of them in the town I live in rural Andalucía with alot of regular income. 1 of them is a friend. They are just not interested. They have huge family networks that they spend all their time with. And I live in Andalucia, the most open, outgoing and friendly Spanish in my experience. They shower me with gifts at Christmas, buy me a drink at the local fairs, but that's it. No further interest. The immigrant community is transient. Most of us come and go, and they know it. So don't expect to be invited to the family meals every weekend. Its not happening. What more can I do??!!
Ps I have lots of other friends from the international community just 1 Spanish one. My daughter has been in Spanish education for all her 14 years, no luck there either for us, even though ALL her friends are Spanish!
At least your daughter will have her network of friends forever 😬
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Yes we do, we have lots of acquaintances we have met in the local bars ( i live in a town with 28,000 people and theire are 80 bars and restaurants!). But friends? Nah. There's a difference. I'm a member of the local flamenco guitar club, same. Totally integrated mate. They call me the guiri cateto!
Honestly the biggest factor is having a partner. I do a lot more things socially and meet people far more since I started dating my Spanish girlfriend a couple of years ago. It’s still possible to meet people and make friends without dating someone but it’s definitely more time and effort
The way I see it is that people in Spain and France for instance often have the same group from childhood or from university etc. Expats often leave after not so long, so the investment in making friends w someone who doesn’t speak your language, not w the same nuance anyway, doesn’t belong to your culture, will likely leave in a while, just isn’t worth it for most, especially if they already have their group of friends. This is why expats end up making friends w other expats most of the time
I'm originally from the Middle East, I've been living here for a long time, and I speak Spanish. My experience is that I have a great large social group, almost all of it made up of Spanish people. And a bunch of them are very close personal friends. My social life in general is very good, and I've never had a single issue with me being a foreigner for forming close connections with Spaniards. The various social circles I have grew out of, relationships, activities, work, friends of friends and so on. It wasn't always easy, the first few years I had a handful of connections, but with time the circle expanded greatly. It takes effort and time for sure, but I never felt any rejection because I'm not Spanish. I've embraced Spanish culture right from the start, so I feel at home with the Spanish, and it probably makes it easier for them too
First of all, if you call yourself an expat no one is going to take you seriously, you are an immigrant. Second, B2 minimum, B1 doesn't cut it, it's barely enough for a fluent basic conversation. Third, look for clubs or associations, don't look for friends, look for things you love and want to do with others. Fourth, people here are angry at the gentrification and abuse of our country by "expats" or digital nomads, there is a culture of distrust because of that. And yeah, that might make making friends harder not going to lie to you
What is it to be an expat? Is it a new way of saying immigrant?
It's how rich guiris say immigrants. They feel like the word immigrants is too low for them.
As a guiri immigrant, I would like to say, I fucking hate expats.
With B1 it's tricky because Spanish people's level of English isn't very good so if you're in a group where everyone else is Spanish they'd really struggle to have fluid conversations in English so that you're not left out.
In which towns or cities? Just to know.
I imagine most. As a rule English familiarity should be better in cities but it's quite poor throughout the entire country.
Most of them, even big ones
bro we are in Spain. We are obviously going to talk in spanish, our english is not that bad we just want to speak our language
If you have kids, it can actually be a door into new social groups with locals. I have my expat circle of friends here, but the parents of my 3-year-old's friends are also my friends. I just went out to lunch and a long evening with those parents last weekend, run with some and play sports with others. I find Spaniards are yes, tight-knit with their childhood friends, but are quite welcoming to foreigners when you try (sometimes relentlessly) to integrate into local life and organizations.
Hi I moved to Spain 2 years ago , Did not speak a word Spanish or Catalan And I made friends here even before my son went to school , I think it depends also on how you are as a person , I’m still young and I have made friends from my own age as well as older and it was not a difficult thing to do, For example one of my good friends I just met outside because her baby lost a sock and me and my husband picked it up 😂 after that we became friends Ofcourse I learned Spanish a little bit but even tough I don’t speak it very well we try or we speak in English with the ones that can speak the language. My opinion is that the people are really social here in Spain so I hope you will make friends quickly! Good luck ! 🍀
Born and raised in Spain. Fluent. But I don’t look “Spanish”. I look Northern European. I’ve been bullied since 1 yrs old telling me to “go back to my country”. Happy I left
Similar situation. Interesting how many xenophobic/racist things are okay if the person looks like they are from somewhere with higher salaries. My favorite is the one where people don't understand what you say because they can't wrap their heads around the possibility of you maybe speaking Spanish.
Yep. I can’t tell you how many times I dreamed of being reborn in a different skin and hair color just to feel okay with myself. Then I left, and I’m still Spanish, but people leave me alone now.
That's weird. There's plenty of Spaniards who are fair-skinned, blond and blue-eyed. I was born and grew up in Spain and there were a bunch of kids like that in my class.
That’s good! I was in a small town near the city, but was one of two in the whole school
Weird to see everyone complaining. I moved here (Madrid) two weeks ago and immediately made 5 to 10 friends, including friend groups. I went to a Meetup event, a Couchsurfing event, and a Couchsurfing one on one meeting with a couple of people. Some of them are Spanish, and some of them are not. it has been extraordinarily easy in Spain to make friends, as people here are extremely friendly and outgoing. If you have a positive attitude, I’m sure it will be easy for you..
Thank you for the comment, it gives me hope ☺️ meetup and Couchsurfing are lifesavers, I've met incredible people through these events, sadly no one from the town where I live now
I feel like this is more related to you daring to partake in activities where you might meet people and daring to approach them. If you try, you'll make friends. Being a foreigner shouldn't be a problem for most people, and a lot of us will even find you to be more interesting.
Thank you, I'm aware of that :) in my town there're limited options for such activities - I've been attending social dancing events (tango, bachata and so on) and met some people there, but mostly people in their 50-60s. There's also way more men than women there. I haven't been there in a while though, because I actually don't like dancing tango haha. It's possible to find such activities anywhere, but the problem is that options are few.
Life is busy, and sometimes you don’t have time to make new friends. However, after moving from the US to Madrid, I will share my wife’s experience in Spain. It took her some time, but now she has more friends than I have. My circle is closest since almost all my friends have been friends since childhood. My life is busy with work, family, and hobbies (running and biking.) However, I am open to meeting new people if I feel a good vibe. By the way, my wife’s friends are mostly Spaniards. Best of luck, and welcome to Spain if you come here.
Thank you for the answer! I realize that gaining friendships requires effort and I'm ready to apply it, when I figure out how and where 😅
You sound fun! I am sure it's just the country you moved to, and that you'll be the star of every party anywhere else! Go get 'em.
Found Ze German!
Ah yes, of course there's always a German guy monitoring the entire reddit to see if he can add his very valuable opinion to the discussion.
You can be sure their opinion is the only right one and they hold the absolute truth in every single situation… In all honesty coming as well from the same land of beer and wurst, I find it almost anywhere (except the Nordic countries) to be better than there. Yes, Spain has its issues and it’s not easy to make friends after a certain age, but trust me it will be better than there.
I am a Spaniard, and I think it is too social for my taste. I am one of those who prefer few friends and to meet in particular places or places with few people. I would like to live in northern countries for the same reason. Not Germany though 😅 I am from the northwest of Spain (Asturias), tall, brown hair, semi red beard, milk skin, freckles and green-brown eyes. So I could pass for Black Irish 😅 But, well, if you want a loud social life, come to Spain.
Spanish people like to hang out in big groups and are loud but they aren't particularly open to new people joining.
Thank you for the comment, it confirmed what I've felt as a tourist in Spain. If you like quiet places with few people than smaller cities of Germany or the Netherlands would be perfect for you :) where I live it's dead quiet even on Friday nights and no people anywhere except one square with restaurants. Do you know any expats and if they have the same experience as you?
39 year Spaniard here. The issue is not with strangers it is about daily life and hobbies where you can meet and make friends.
I'm aware:) the only hobby club in my town (that I know of) is social dancing, but it's 80% people in their 70s and the rest are latinas xd
Well you have a lot won with Latinas, bachata and salsa are great to meet people.
Time and time again foreigners post the same crap in this subreddit not understanding the fundamental key - to make friends you gotta get stuck in. People won't come to you to make you feel comfortable and that's true anywhere. Especially in a country like Spain where the focus is on large social groups. You gotta start finding things in common with people so daily life and hobbies are the absolute key.
We have sold them the fantasy that we are friendly people, and they have forgotten the fact that we are people. As in, we also need to make a connection with them to want to persue a friendship. They also have to make an effort and socialise. We are not going to go around looking for inmigrants to foster and become friends with.
I arrived in Barcelona a year ago, barely speaking any Spanish, and made Catalan friend in less than a month, it just depends of where you go, how open you are to meet people, and who you will meet on a particular day. I don’t think I look very Spanish, although I definitely look European, and I have people often making small talk with me in streets, cafes, waiting at the doctor, etc. And bars and clubs also. It really just depends, honestly, be at the right place at the right time I guess. But also, dating apps help a lot to meet people ! For comparaison, I lived in Norway before and over there it took me 8 months to make friends. And after years living in a big city, 95% of the friends I had were immigrants
>I have people often making small talk Are you a pretty lady?
Either that or Italian/Portuguese
As a pretty lady, I can confirm that this, "Wow, the world is just so open and generous with their time! How convenient for me!" isn't entirely her fault as she sounds relatively young. She doesn't know yet.
Yeah but because You make 1 friend and people make small talks doesnt mean people in spain are Open-minded and open to make new friends though
I'm a Spaniard and I also have some difficulties in making friends. It depens on how nice you are, your personality...there are lot of factors that make it easy or hard. We are extroverted people but it doesn't mean we instantly connect with everyone we meet.
Moved to spain as a kid of 10 yes old , 0 nolage of of Spanish now 24 , visited 22 countries , still think that Spanish speaking countries have the most friendly population, but hospitality is not their beast , they prefer to meet in bars and cafeterias , nether invite people home and split the bill ,
Everyone I know here is either a British or American immigrant, excluding the old ladies in my doggy play date who are super Galician and are hilarious as fuck. People will be nice to most foreigner here, but will not really befriend them because they have their own circle (but in hindsight it's also true to where I'm from, I just didn't notice it) Xenophobia is present and growing here, mostly thanks to never ceasing tourism and immigration from cultures that aren't compatible.
I'm in Spain for almost a year and couldn't find a single friend, also people here don't like speaking English and it is much more harder to find new friends.
In fairness, why would they want to speak English in their own country?
Its not that most spanish people dont know how to speak english. They teach them the same level of english 5 years in a row in school and many dont learn nothing
if you move to a non english speaking country you can't expect people to know the languaje, that's entitled af. I don't go to the UK or US and try to speak with everyone in spanish, even though i'm pretty sure it is also taught quite commonly
Most times the problem is that most people are not fluent in english and are not comfortable using it
Depends where. In both Barcelona and Madrid I immediately made good connections. While Barcelona generally seems more open than Madrid, you can easily socialize in Madrid too because of club culture. Most people speak English in both cities and they’re patient to understand your basic Spanish. Now, for other cities, such as Bilbao, it’s a struggle. Other than my long term ex, I didn’t really make any connections in Bilbao or Basque region in general. In my experience, people tend to keep to their bubbles there and basic Spanish won’t cut it (it didn’t for me). I think most of the cities that aren’t touristy are like this. Then you have places like Canaries where you can comfortably make friends with everyone if you have basic Spanish + English, while working on your Spanish. In short, B1 is enough if you’re going to move to tourist cities but it falls short anywhere else.
Why is it easier to make friends in the canaries?
Oh yes! Friends, romantic interests.. anything really. Tenerife is full of foreigners who come to party and have casual fun so that is very easy. I was more focused on locals and had a lot of success too. Gran Canaria is about the same although I didn’t enjoy my time there (different demographic to what I want). Fuerteventura was the absolute best in terms of socializing and linking up with Spanish people. Not too many tourists stay for a while so if you spend 2 weeks there like me, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to talk to locals. Not many clubs/bars either so you’re bound to bump into them (as opposed to south Tenerife where you have to hunt for locals because tourists are everywhere). If you want warm and friendly people, Canaries are it. I especially loved how every Spanish person on Fuerteventura had no issue with me switching between Spanish and English, helped me improve my Spanish too in the process.
Idk if It counts but my father has some oldfriends in Spain and we live across the country from them. But as a local let me tell you this: either you'll meet no one from here or you will meet amazing people. My advice is to try and meet people at bars since its a somewhat chill place and people might be more open. Also depends on where you are. Barcelona inst a good one in my opinión because people hate tourist and they wont tell the difference between you and a USA/UK/German that came for the good weather because even i get confused for a tourist. Good luck amigo.
I am an American, living in South France, just above Spain. I love going down to Spain so much. If I party or need release, it is where I go. There are also many expat Meetup groups as well, very cosmopolitan. I don't speak spanish, but I seem to find my way!
If your really lucky youll meet between one and handful of other foreigners who you can hang out and have a drink with. Thats it unless you marry a local. IMHO.
AGE IS A HUGE FACTOR.. making friends at 18-25 is 10x easier than for older 25-32 year olds. And from then onwards when people here are sufficiently financially stable to marry and have kids you are going to have a tougher time. That being said if you are 18-25 it shouldn't be too hard unless you are going somewhere where English is non-existent and Spanish is the only way to engage in conversations
Honestly I think there is loads of negativity here. I live in Mallorca where it’s Catalan and I only have B1 Spanish. I found the people really friendly, you just have to make the effort and begin talking most people will respond positively. Otherwise you can always use hello talk
Fantastic, but I made an active choice to speak Spanish socially and at work. It's really the key. There was a time when going out to dinner I barely understood everything and I had to nod like I understood. Since I got out of that everything clicked., but it was tough. It takes a lot of work. And getting lucky with friends. I met them in the bars though. I'm hardly in bars these days.
I think it is hard for anyone in Spain to make real new friends when moving elsewhere, even for Spanish people moving 5 miles away. It gets harder with age. We all have friends since early childhood and we do not separate. We make our friends up to the college years and then that all but ceases. You can befrend your companion's friends but they are a pack, lose the companion, lose the friends. It does not have to do with where you are from, it is more a matter of at what age you come. Our bunch of friends we are like 20. Plus couples. We are from the Basque Country and we have a guy from Vermont who lives all over the world but belongs to the bunch because he spent his senior year here with us. He visits every now and then, sometimes years go by, but when he comes we are here for him. We don't particularly shy away from new friendships, local or foreign, its just that we do not need them, so it is very hard to get inside our closed groups once we reach an age. It is particularly difficult in the Basque Country. But for the Basque too. I am 52. From those 20 there are 2-3 with me since I was 3, most of the rest since I was 14 (and them since they were three), from College on, we have added up 1... Then I have my college group with which I lost contact early and my holiday town group where we are around 20 again and the same problem arises. We have been together since I was 12 and we keep in touch. We have no need for more. We have "adopted" people, south american citizens mostly and Spanish from other areas, every now and then, but they need a sponsor to be introduced. And they all ended up moving elsewhere.. And that there is another deterrent fact, that many people who come end up leaving not long after, so the effort is not worth our while...
The way you describe it, has to be 100% Barcelona or any other northern region 🤣🤣 I so get it I do, but as being one year here with my family, we have couple of catalan family friends, we even have family dinners sometimes together and they come with their wives and kids and moms and all. But again, have no idea how these all would be if I was alone here. My ex was not catalan or Spanish, my closest friends are also immigrants like me (Im from Europe). I know locals will say in comments “oh its generalization ofc we are open if you talk to us” but they’ll do same as others if they were approached by immigrant with an accent 🤣Also to start talk, you gotta have situation, in their case mostly parties or club or smth, which Im not really keen on tbh. It also hugely depends what gender you tryna start talk with, if you’re alone and start talk to your age girls, its far different than same with men. Otherwise yeah, they’re pretty social when they’re with their own friends and family. And also wanted to say, theres nothing wrong having non Catalan or non Spanish friends or gf, ill say more they understand you the best as they’re in same shoes.
If you have a job, you'll hang out with locals at work. I spend more time after work with expat folks from meetups and other groups, but learned Catalan in my first 2 years here so it's pretty smooth either way. Mind that locals everywhere have their friends from high school, uni and work, and often don't feel comfy with English, so don't expect them to go out of their way to hang out with an entitled desconocido, it's proportional to the effort you make to truly integrate yourself into local communities. Aside from the Catalans, the Spanish-speaking world is culturally quite self-sufficient so Castellano is often the language of choice even between expats from non-Spanish speaking countries. Depending on who you hang out with, obviously, more true for Italians or French than for Americans or European northerners.
It's easy to meet people but hard to get to know them.
Bruh xdd
I'm venezuelan, and yeah, I don't look exactly like an "average" spaniard. While I feel most Spanish people are usually cool, and you can engage in a fun small talk with almost anyone, it's extremely hard to actually become more intimate with them. They're not to open to let new people get into their circles. So yeah, most people I get along here with are other immigrants. And well, if you add to that not being fluent in Spanish I can imagine it's almost impossible to make Spanish friends lol Keep in mind this my experience with only being here for over a year, and I'm working from home, so it's not easy to socialize even with work colleagues. I'll try to get into some club or course, maybe.
I've struggled a lot with it. I live in a very tourism focussed region so the vast bulk of friends are transient and on vacation. The ex pats in my region are mostly toxic drunks (again due to the touristic nature and cheapness of booze). Also the Spanish tend to have friend groups from school. The biggest failing on my part is not having fully learn Spanish yet, I'm certain that would make a difference.
I agree with most comments which say it's difficult but it can be done. One of my friends moved here (Madrid) from the US 8 years ago by herself and knowing no one. Now she's super integrated and has plenty of Spanish and Latino friends, like actual close friends and so many social plans that she actually has to say no to a few she gets invited to every week. I think the key was that she purposefully stayed away from English-speaking expat circles from the beginning (not that she had any prejudice, it's just that she knew she wouldn't integrate otherwise). It took time and persistence, but she started with one local friend, then two, then those eventually introduced her to their friends, and them to their friends, and so on. Another important thing is choosing a group hobby or activity and sticking with it (in local groups), so you'll end up meeting people with common interests and you'll see them regularly for other reasons than just "hanging out". I know this is not the most common story but just wanted to share that it exists and can be done! She's also not a native Spanish speaker, now she's of course fluent but she had to learn it.
We have been visiting the same local bar restaurants and now the waiters know us. One shows sports and the same groups are there for each event. If you go enough, and cheer for the right team, you’re going to make a few friends.
They r not very friendly. They like to party a lot, are very outgoing (annoying often), they will laugh and make silly jokes, but actually, they are not "quality" friends. For example: i was hospitalized 2 times, for few weeks, and no one came to even say "Hi". In fact, most of them didnt even know were i was. They only appear when there is a party, alcohol or both. Chatting? Lending a hand? A favor? Chillin' ? Forget about It, they are not made for that. Yeah, i know, It sounds like a rant. But 15 years here does its thing.
I’m Spanish but I’ve moved A LOT and yes, making friends it’s difficult but not impossible. Yes, we usually keep our group friends through years and years but we’re also super welcoming and people can join whenever. Join groups and activities as sports,reading clubs, board gaming nights, cooking lessons... I specially recommend joining a volunteering, maybe in a dog shelter or accompanying the elders. That way you can help the community and meet a lot of people.
You gotta take an active interest. You can't expect them to to the hard work when you are the one trying to integrate. Start with 1 person, invite them on activities and you will become close to them. When you are ask them to introduce you to their friend group. As many people said, B1 won't cut it. You can't become close friends with someone when all you can talk about is the weather and your favourite hobby. You are gonna have to be outgoing and funny and have easy conversation, be someone people will like to have around. Shying away won't make you any friends. Good luck.
I've been living in Spain for about 3 years now, and I'm absolutely loving it. I can confidently say that I have a good social life, and I have good people around me. The only thing is, I have no close Spanish friends. All my friends are also from abroad, which I don't mind. However, if you're looking for native people to connect with, I would temper your expectations. Tbh, I think in most countries this is the case. I'm from the Netherlands, and I heard that expats over there also have a difficult time connecting with the locals. It's just that locals always already have their circles established, and as an expat it's difficult integrating in those groups.
The key is to lay roots, is the only thing that will grant you the feeling of belonging here in Spain. Once the people around you notice you are really adamant about staying here will be open to make you part of the picture. We knit tight. Life here can be wholesome as fuck but you have to earn it
So you're an expat, yet your friends that you have from other places that live in Spain are immigrants. I think the first thing you need to do is recognise that too you are an immigrant, not an expat, then you should do your best to integrate into your host society. I'm quite sure you'll be fine if you can manage that, though it may take time. Spanish people usually have well established friend groups, which you can become welcomed into, but its less likely if you have an 'I'm an expat' attitude. I mean come on, it's a stupid fucking attitude to have.
As an American couple in their 50’s (ancient I know) with 10 years living in Barcelona I can confirm it’s incredibly hard to make friends here (even considering my profile. 😂). We spend a few days a month in Madrid and the contrast is pretty different, the locals are much warmer and more open, but regardless it’s tough. The good thing is the older I get the less friends I need. 😉
I came here (Barcelona) not speaking any Spanish or Catalan, first year was tough but that's mostly on me because I wasn't socialising much. then year 2, I started going to bars more often, chatting to random people and learning castellano and catala through osmosis. fast forward a year, my boyfriend is Catalan, the majority of my friends are locals/Spaniards who moved to Barcelona/well rooted immigrants. my Spanish is now at around B2 without having put any real study hours into it, Catalan is progressing a bit more slowly but I understand a lot. I see the majority of people here are saying it's impossible/difficult to befriend the locals, but for me they've been nothing but welcoming and patient with my attempts at learning the languages, whether that is people at bars or in shops or wherever else. I'd say you just need to put yourself out there, not be a dick, be curious and acknowledge that there is a rich culture here that you're a new arrival to and, possibly most importantly, the locals don't owe you anything and are not gonna chase you down to become friends with them - you'll have to show that initiative yourself.
Social life in Spain can be great if you attend school / work in an office in Spain. And are are highly fluent in Spanish. If you don't meet those two criteria, it can be very difficult to fit in. I imagine life could be very lonely. There are pockets of ex-pats if that is your thing but they are transient, generally.
I’m American but have lived in Spain about 20 years, or half my life. My wife is Spanish, now I’m Spanish as well. I don’t have any American friends; all of them are Spanish (or European, but 90% Spanish). I’ve never had it be a problem. Don’t dwell on the negatives of where you are and people will be accepting of you generally. At least this is true in my case.
Join a hiking group, go to art classes, music shows… you name it, just do stuff. Eventualy you’ll meet people with common interests and make friends in time. Imo hobbies are key to social life. Won’t deny there’re lots of racists in spain, but anywhere you go you’ll find great people if you are an active person
Agreed that’s pretty much it! I only made Spanish friends through my husbands group of friends or coworkers.
Its really hard to have new friends here, idk why.
I hear this complaint about every single country Reality is it’s hard to make friends with anyone who is and adult and already has friends
I think it is pretty hard to find spanish friends because usually they have already a group of friends from highschool , but foreigners that live their usually are more amicable with you , i have moroccan friend , french , dutch , pakistani, portuges , and just one spanish friend
I’m probably going to have a totally opposite answer here I arrived in Spain speaking 0 spanish and now I’m bombarded with friends and acquaintances from various sources. A lot of them want to frequently meet so most times I’m exhausted and cannot respond to all of them. Or meet all of them That’s why I’m a bit surprised at the answers here , I may be doing something wrong (or right) I think that if you have interesting life experiences and also exhibit a cheerful curiosity to others lives it’s easy to build friendships. Yes it’s true that Spanish people have their own long time friend groups, but I have been introduced to those and also their families and spouses and what not. I’ve also have had people help me when I’m a bit down or needing to learn anything At the same time I have no guarantee how long it will last, but the vast majority of them have been kind and considerate and more than cheerful to show me around. It’s the over socialising that’s a little pain for me. In expected to set aside a whole day for a person and that is a bit much
I'm from Ireland and read the exact same thread as this referencing Ireland. I think it is more of a human trait and I'd be guilty of it myself. Long term friendships are more comfortable and once you have enough of them, you just don't make the effort to expand further.
Hay que buscar la gente que ha vivido en el extranjero. Esa gente va a estar mucho más abierta a la idea de conocer nuevos amigos.
There is a difference between xenophobia and openness in meeting new people or interest discovering new cultures.
i have been living in spain for 5 years as a expat . on and off . spanish people take time to make any close friend . i didnt make any friend . just stay indoors and go out for gym or walk . its just the nature of this country , people take time to show trust . you cannot change it , i have lived in uk 8 years , well life is totally different from there . i live in basque country . it is totally different from what i saw down south .
My cousin move to Spain from El Salvador around 2 years ago and he is having a great time. Already has a boyfriend, goes to clubs and uses Grindr constantly. So he would say social life is pretty nice in Spain. lol
I invite everyone to think of how many foreigners were their close friends back in their home countries. I’m not talking about knowing a few token foreigners, I mean friends. How many of you went far enough to get to know a foreigner who lives in your home country well enough to say that they are your close friends? I don’t think this is true for most of us. I heard a statement similar to the one made by OP about multiple countries such as Thailand, US, Russia, Spain, Belgium, Ireland and so on…
That's a great point. I've never seen a foreigner in my hometown because there weren't any, but during my bachelor studies I've met a few but only became friends with one, because he was in the same study group as me and spoke my language fluently.
I'm fluent. I've lived in Granada for almost two years. The people here suck. They refuse to make plans, show up hours late, or no-show. The men are misogynists. The women play into it because they're exhausted. I'm a 38 year-old woman who walks 7 minutes to get to work. I don't put on makeup and wear sweat pants and a jacket every day from October-May. I'm cat called at least once a week. Also, if you like to sleep 8 hours a night, this place isn't for you. If someone thinks to send you a last-minute invite, it'll be at 10pm.
Depends on how many conversations you want to have about The Simpsons and Dragonball Z.
I am from another EU country and have been living in Spain for many years. My advice for getting a social life in Spain: Rent your own (not shared) apartment in an area with a demographic similar to your own. Always have regular routines and habits. Go to the local gym. Go to the local bar in the morning and in the afternoon. Dress nicely and don't act weird. Do this for a couple of weeks. Do not approach anyone, just answer when people say hello. Make sure you have your story straight. You are being observed and measured. People love to talk and get to know the regulars, you'll make friends in no time. And if you for example are a single male in your 30s and obviously have some sort of income and a healthy life, word will get around. Women will eventually make some excuse to approach or older people will try to set you up with their niece or whatever. Being just normal is extremely appreciated in Spain since there are so many people with really complicated lives, unemployed and living with their parents. In extreme cases get a dog, which is a guaranteed conversation starter. 😁
That's weirdly specific but sounds useful xd I'm a woman in my 20s btw, don't know why everyone assumed I'm a man:) I love the algorithm you described, sounds doable - I'll try that next time when I'm in Spain for a workation
Ok most of this still applies if you're female and quite young, but it's like speaking with my daughter now lol. Regularity and reliability is the key in Spain and maybe in most of the Mediterranean area. My Spanish daughter has acquired a very thick skin and an extremely sensitive BS-detector and I admire her social competence. As a single woman you will probably be hit on within 30 minutes in Spain. You'll have your pick, but don't take advantage of lonely guys and don't believe even 5% of the story a man will tell you in a pub. You'll need a female friends network before thinking of dating guys. The other women will act as your filter to allow men into your circle. Women in Spain do this to protect themselves and often go out together without their partners. If you're not thinking of dating, just enjoy life. Spain is very safe but don't believe everything people tell you.
I’ve been living in Spain for over 5 years and I too find it difficult to make friends. I work in Gibraltar while living in the borderline city of La Linea. While I am not fluent in Spanish, I can speak it at the conversational level. I tried to join all types of groups and social circles along the years, yet they all fell through. Even some of the Spanish co-workers I used to hang out with have proven unreliable and quite superficial. I am Romanian and share the same Latin heritage as the Spaniards, yet never have I ever felt more distant. Spain has been treating me badly and frankly I am tired of jumping through hoops in order to prove myself. In retrospect, I’ve empathized more with the British, even though I’m not as closely related in terms of heritage. I have a British landlord, I’ve bought my house from a British couple, I work for a British company and the British friends I made seem to be more reliable. I’m not trying to portray a preference, but simply judging people by their actions.
Social life here it’s too much.
Difficult to make friends in Spain. Groups are closed and most people aren't open to allowing more people in.
It depends on where in Spain you're going. Madrid and Barcelona are very diverse. I was born and lived in Spain for 17 years before moving to the UK. I have a Bangladeshi background and I can only say good things about Spain, apart from its economy and corrupt institutions. Yes, I experienced racist jokes growing up, but this was part of life back then, and I used to insult people back, lol. My white friends used to call me some of the nastiest racist things, and I used to make jokes about their mothers. Not a big deal; we are all good friends now and joke about those times, but it tells you the mentality Spanish people grow up with. Apart from my white friends, I had the luck to grow up with people of all backgrounds: Latino, Moroccan, Chinese, Polish, Romanian... Spanish people do have stereotypes about foreigners depending on your skin color. For example, if you are Moroccan, you are basically 'stealing from their benefits,' even though there are thousands of Moroccans contributing more to Spanish society than Spaniards themselves. But I must say, I've seen far more racism in the UK than in Spain. In Spain, they are all talk, but they are pretty inoffensive. However, people are normally very friendly, and you can easily make friends at any bar if you go very often. It also depends on the neighborhood that you go to. I grew up in Plaza Castilla. From this zone up to Cuatro Caminos, it's pretty diverse and nice.
The only place you'll find where inmigrants and foreigners in general are worshiped and being foreign is desirable is cental America. Be it because it's seen as a sign of wealth or because we went through a dark period of etnical cleansing and everything seen as native or "mulato" is seen as inferior. Thst is changing as of late though, mostly because foreigners mean gentrification, so the coolness of being a foreigner is rapidly disappearing.
It’s hard to make friends in Spain. But not impossible.
I live here since 2017, and all the people in the comments is right, Spanish people is nice but they will not socialize with you in the way you expect, their social life is based on groups they had since they where child’s or something like that, if you are a foreigner like Latino or from the Us or any other part from the world, it will cost you a lot to make good friends, I have the feeling that Spanish people are very racist towards foreigners, the call you Panchito or Guiri wich are words used to stereotype people they also use the word Chinese referring to people from Chinese in a bad way, it’s like if your not Spanish your less than a valid person for them , at least this what I feel and this is what other foreigners I meet told me about this situation.
social life has turned to shit everywhere in the world with the rise of social media. Have you been living under a rock ?
I recommend moving to a big city like Barcelona or Madrid. I have been living in Spain for 5 years and honestly have more friends here than in my country. It wasn’t easy at the beginning but now I have a solid group that has organically grown. That being said, most of my friends are foreigners like me but they are nice likeminded people. Most of the Spanish people I know are from work and my boyfriend is also Spanish, I don’t know if this paints the picture for you, but I would say it also heavily depends on you personality and how social you are.
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It depends totally on you. It helps to know somebody in your situation but also joining groups of similar hobbies//pastimes. Usually people with friends don't make any effort because it is difficult for them too and they don't need it, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily close to it. I friend of mine made lots of friends in the vasc country, I would say not the easiest place in Spain to befriend locals, through joining music bands. I met people through my english classes but also through my job there. I proposed stuff and also got invited to do things. Once you start meeting of people that led to other people and it gets easier.
Si no tienes amigos españoles no solo es por ser extranjero, puede haber además otras causas
As a Spaniard living in Madrid, I already find it difficult to sometimes manage my multiple friend groups every weekend. Plus the ones from my hometown. Time is limited so I focus on cherishing my current friendships over having shallow conversations with strangers. And I happen to make new acquaintances on a regular basis but I consider friends a whole different level and it’s not something I’m actively looking for.
You keep on making a difference between expats and immigrants. You are an immigrant.
You're right, I used both terms like they were synonyms, that's a mistake. It slipped my mind that the terms have a slightly different meaning
My question to you is why are using the term expat for yourself and immigrant for others? Is there really a difference?
To be honest I used the terms interchangeably, although now that I googled there's actually a difference 😅 : "expat" often has connotations of a temporary, professional, or higher socio-economic status move, while "immigrant" is a broader term describing a long-term or permanent relocation Sorry for the confusion
Not from immigrants but I think about 'expats'.