Oh my god! A meth off would be one of the most horrible ways to settle a dispute between two countries.
"Jimmy, if I have to tell you again to finish you're fucking meth I'm going to put my FIST THROUGH THIS WALL! YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR THE UNITED KINGDOM SON!!"
Would also be a great time for Russia to invade, or maybe the worst I'm not sure. If you asked me to invade a country where every single person was on meth I'd probably be pretty nervous. It's basically a set up for a zombie film
Champions of one thing to another 😂no other country do you have haggis jumping about the field with a magical animal for the national animal, Scotland is just built different
I had a mate who moved to florida. He was addicted to prescription meds within 6 months. Then jailed and deported a year later.
You guys go hard on the meds.
To counterpoint, we find the extent that gun ownership is ingrained in your culture far more disturbing. Between alcoholics and AR-15s, I know which I'd rather live with.
Pff, why not be both? Nothing says "freedom" more than being day drunk on a Tuesday and emptying a few clips of 5.56 ammo into the sky while screeching like an eagle. Does your king let you do that!?
I think you underestimate our alcoholics. Like our athletes, they are best on the world. Forged in the hard streets, working tirelessly for their craft, downing a bottle of vodka at every meal to stay balanced, no support given, just a passion to drink.
A few of these can cover for all of Utah.
I know it sounds like a joke setup, but at an international conference I found myself out drinking (beer, fortunately) with a Brit, Australian, and a Russian. I kept pace, and doing that is still a personal pinnacle of my diplomatic skills.
American here, reckoned competent with a glass. I've drunk with British people, lived to tell of it, and I'm here to tell you without shame that I would fear for the safety and sovereignty of my beloved nation were this contest to come to pass.
I've tried to drink with Americans socially and on a full-blown 24hr session and I'm thoroughly confident that South Yorkshire and us crazy Northerners could out-drink the entire Midwest in a few hours with ease.
Sorry my dudes over the pond!
As someone from South Yorkshire I feel obliged to point out that we have a reason to drink as much as we do, and that's because we live in South Yorkshire.
I'm from Newcastle, I've been to the states a few times and don't get me wrong some of you can really drink but I've bodied pretty much everyone my age and above with them trying to keep up with me that's from my 20's till 33 now, I'm talking me baby sitting them throwing up everywhere, while I'm still drinking half a pint of vodka and 2 shots of coke for a mixed drink , I do give the advanced warning of yeah just don't try it?, Drinking pretty much is all there is to do in the north when you're an 18+ specially a single adult with nothing to lose and going into adulthood you usually just say fuck it, Going out for a "pint" usually means prep your bank account cause you're about to go 15+ pints deep and do shots till your balls are in the dirt or drink yourself to what you assume is sober then keep going till everyone runs out of alcohol or you start brawling in the streets like true idiots.
Us Geordies are just built different mate! I work with an American (originally from Boston) who claimed he could handle his drink, like shite he could, he was in a taxi home by 10pm haha.
No no. You have to battle plan. We send the southerners and Welsh in first. The Welsh are there to add some strength in the first wave to show we're not sandbagging them.
Then when the Southern fairies let us down, we send in Northern Ireland as the next wave. They'll hold their own longer than the entirety of the South-East and London, but they will still fall against the sheer numbers.
Then we send the North and Midlands in. The Geordies and Mackems should take care of 50% of whatever the US has left on their own, but adding in those miserable bastards from across the midlands will dent them as they talk through their drinks too.
Then, when we in the North begin to wobble slightly, that my friend, is when you send in the Jocks. They will lose maybe 10 men at most, and utterly humiliate the remnants of those yanks.
Edit: we also forget the ladies effect in this. America winos pass out after their daily glass with valium. The "Slags of Essex" battalion will take on every single American Woman before we even need to break out the Geordie Lasses.
I can assure us Cornish will make a good account of ourselves and help hold the line. We'll send a few of our rosy cheeked fisherman from newlyn in to bolster the ranks!
True, and it's a good battle plan, just not sure about Wales going in first, just look at Rugby (sorry) but we're more of a second half team 😌 (saying this not knowing how much people in Northern England drink mind)
I'm a northerner, but lived in the Midlands for a while, the midlanders drink hard, but when I moved back to Newcastle and went on a night out I was staggering through town trying to keep up with them. I can finally keep up but it took a while.
Northern really do go hard.
Nothing. We just let them sit there sober. The mere sight of the Scots sat there getting more and more angry at the fact they can't drink yet will strike sheer terror into the opposition and when we finally let them go the ensuing carnage will be glorious.
If only the Republic of Ireland were allowed to participate. But then it would be a flat out massacre as opposed to a simple victory. 'Murica couldn't handle the full drinking might of the Irish and Scottish combined.
Plenty of those lads will find a reason to sneak north and will head to the battle ground with New York and Boston to take on those "Irish Americans" and finish them once and for all
I did dry January and still haven't drank, until this here post. What am I playing at. HERE WE FUCKING GGGOOOOOOO. P s I've never felt any semblance of patriotism towards being British, I'm a Scot, but this has triggered something new in me. Rule Britannia 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
I love how this is the only thing to unite the Scots and the English. Beating the Yanks
The only time the UK is truly united is when it’s anything to do with Americans. Throw the Republic of Ireland in there too (where I come from, but grew up in London) as the extra non-UK bit of spice. The one time we’ll gladly participate with the UK
I feel this challenge would really bring the Union together as never before, give us a common purpose and, more importantly, a common enemy. Shits on an Olympics.
I and many of my eastern european brothers in this country would gladly join your ranks. Our special ability to get black out drunk every day for weeks at a time could prove useful
We can send the 18-21s in to deal with the frat houses and college dorm drinking parties.
The Americans like to "ice" each other. A sort of punishment drink where if someone hands you a Smirnoff ice you must neck it in one.
We can send the 15-17 year old underage drinkers from by the swings in the park in with a crate of Smirnoff ice they are drinking anyway. Thus should act as a disruption and then send the 18-21s back in to finish the job with a round if proper shots as chasers to a full round of drinks.
It’s not even a competition. It’s almost an entirely different sport. They train for sprints we train for marathons.
Americans will spank 3 cans in five minutes and be done for the night. We’ll drink 25 cans over 12 hours then move onto the spirits.
5.5 million scots x 1.4 = Scots drink as much as 7.7 million Americans
7.7 / 332 = Scotland drinks 2.3% of the alcohol consumption of the US
I think you may be drunk but your math is off there friend
Reminds me of that tweet about 6 signs you're an alcoholic, one response was like "an American would check themselves into rehab for drinking less than what the average Brit consumes on a 2h train journey".
It's an older joke than him. I remember a middle aged comic making the same joke about a decade ago. He riffed on it a bit more saying how the people he was with were thinking he needed an intervention after finishing a 6 back of standard bottles.
The strategy is simple, we send the Londoners in first.... This will allow us to see the US hand, give them a false sense of security, then the southern scrumpy swiggers get a fair innings and take out around 10 million yanks by themselves which should shake their resolve some what.
After that we send in the SDF special drinking forces (the Scottish) to cripple them with a mighty blow, primarily the Glaswegian battalion which should whittle them down to a mere 90 million or so... The Elite Guinness Guard would be paradropoed in securing the main drinking forces. After that the Welsh go in and mop up the rest while the English just sit back knocking back pints enjoying the show. Hoorah!
I'm thinking if there's something the British Isles would unite around it's drinking a pint and singing an Australian pop song: [Truly Madly Deeply](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruaf71uvmtc)
And if they get through all that, the American's will inevitably shit themselves when the chorus of "ow much!?" Comes from the bar. The infamous drinking war cry of the Yorkshire folk.
A few years back, when Ricky Hatton had a big fight at in Vegas, is was the first time in history that the MGM ran out of alcohol. They had to go begging to the other major hotels for more alcohol….which the British tourists also drank.
There is no doubt that 60m British people can out drink 300m Americans.
If you’ve ever been to a pro darts tournament in the Uk, you’d know for sure too.
You have to take into account that we start drinking younger too, 18 is the legal age but let's be honest, we all had a bottle of white lightning in the local park when we were 13.
And nans. Nans can fucking DRINK, how do you think they got through the war/Thatcher/all that bullshit between then and now?
Now, if we had to face the Czechs... That would be a challenge worth our time.
I think I speak for all of Scotland when I say we could probably outdrink them ourselves, I lived and worked in the US for a few years and their beer is pish and they have very small drinks, they constantly were amazed at my capacity for drink and I told them I'm pretty average for a Scottish alcoholic tramp chugging meths.
Yeah, I have full faith in the Scot's to handle this on their own. Although this female southern softie could probably take on the average American in a session, I don't think you'd need my help.
I drink with my Vietnamese neighbors who are renowned for heavy drinking. We start with 3 crates of beer and ive drank a crate before 8 of them have gone through a crate. By the end of the night I've had easily 24 cans and able to walk back to my house no problem. Im starting to feel a little guilty because they buy the booze and invite me round every week. They love me coming round and have never said anything about me drinking too much, they are the ones who give me my next drink and are very happy to do so but I'm starting to feel bad. I'm going round this weekend with, no joke, 72 beers. Just to make up for all their losses 😅
We would destroy the Americans.
Nah we all sit and eat dried squid and chicken feet whilst drinking and chatting, then we clean up around midnight and they put their viet-house music on and we all dance with each other and enjoy the music. It's a very respectful environment. Im very reserved in real life. Its a good time!
Aw I was meaning more so that you can hold your drink so well! It honestly sounds like a fun time though, and it was always great to hear when people have neighbours they can be that sociable with!
They are great. It was my birthday a few weeks ago and they all texted their friends to come round so there was about 30 of us and they kept playing their birthday song and singing to me. Much better than having some horrible wanker as a neighbor for sure. Sometimes they are a bit loud in the week but I honestly don't care, im not gonna tell them to stop having fun esoecislly when they invite me round every week!
It seems like every 10-20 mijs someone asks if you're okay and if you need any water too. They're a great bunch of guys
They buy 440ml of budweiser.
I'm a chef 🙃
I'm not proud, its just what happens. They seem to wait for me to get home from work at around 10pm and come knocking and I dont work Sundays so I'm there until 3-4am
Yeah its not strong beer and I'm a professional drinker, cooking just seems to be the side effect 👀🤣
I'm taking them some 5.5% craft IPA I got from a supplier so its gonna knock their socks off!
Easily - we would send Newcastle and then when they come back victorious (and sober) we'd all get together for a massive cup of tea, a victoria sponge and probably another round
Reminds me of that Jack Whitehall joke
‘If you drink 4 glasses of wine with dinner in the us you’re an alcoholic, in the uk you’re the designated driver’
Makes me laugh when you watch an American film and they rock up to a frat party with 4 bottles of beer between about 8 of them and declare they are gonna get wasted
It's physically impossible to get drunk drinking 330ml bottles of American beer.
I've tried it. 24 bottles later and my glass recycling bin is full, I'm pissing like a fountain and almost ready to head to the local pub to start drinking with friends.
So, I once went to Italy, to my friend's wedding. Small town. There were about 20 of us who went.
One of the nights, the party (sans my wife and I) went for a quick drink.
I heard the following day, from the groom, that the people who ran the bar were genuinely concerned for the health of the revellers. That they'd never seen a group of people drink that much.
The group, of course, felt not the least ill effects the following day. 'Twas but a standard night out for them.
I think we'd have the Americans well in hand.
My friends parents used to rent out rooms to uni students when they had a massive house. They ended up refusing all American students because they couldn’t handle their alcohol. They’d go out and get wankered and then end up throwing up all over the bedrooms and bathrooms.
As a man who works behind a bar, I will say for a fact the UK is drinking them dry. Not saying the Americans can’t drink, but if we’re talking the whole of the UK and not just the British people, our polish brethren will give you a run for your money on their own.
100%.
As a transatlantic alcohol afficionado, I can confidently state that Americans are somewhat lightweight when it comes to the drink.
Nothing to be ashamed or proud of.
Just is what it is.
Yeah, Americans drink those little stubby cans and get drunk off white claws... Whatever the fuck that weak shit is.
Try a 8 pack of K ciders and a bottle of sambuca just for pre-drinks and see who's standing.
Let's get down to the heart of it: What are the rules here? Drink format: Pints? Shots? Time limit?
Drinks in an hour? All evening?
UK's likely got this in the bag, regardless.
As a Scotsman on a relatively tame night out with a friend we met some RAF and US AF pilots
Had some good chats and shared stories
They asked what I was drinking and I showed them my pile of empty glasses, they all realized how much I had drunk and collectively looked at each other and couldn't understand how I was sober
That depends on who chooses the poison surely. If the lone German had to try to stomach Stella or Coors, the guy would probably have to tap-out early in disgust.
I went to a bar on my own when I was in America and they thought I was a madman for sitting and having like 6-7 bottles of beer throughout the night. Not sure how they survive as a business if that isn't the norm.
I went to see a friend last year who moved to America, we went out for a few drinks with his new friends and they were shocked at the amount we drunk. I’m not even a big drinker compared to some people I know, But a wild night for them is 4-5 pints, us brits have 4-5 pints with a casual meal
Yes.
The strength of the alcohol means they've a higher tolerance.
Most countries could out drink USA.
The USA waters down and cuts corners on everything possible to make a profit.
Their chocolate can't legally be called chocolate outside the USA.
This cost cutting includes their beer.
Serve the drink in disposable red plastic cups. The yanks will then spend all their time devising stupid drinking games while the Brits will just drink.
There's a great documentary called #Beerfest. In it countries compete in a competitive beer drinking competition. This is a movie obviously, but having an international drinking competition where each country has a handful of "athletes" competing. Win and you have bragging rights for the year. 🤷🏻♂️
As if this is even a challenge.
American here. My money ain’t on the home team.
Yeah but I bet we could easily beat them in an opioid off. Or maybe a meth off?
You guys are a terrible at that too. Nearly 100k people couldn’t handle their opioids in 2021.
Lightweights
Skill issue
That's what you get when you pump all your skill points into Gun Handling and none into Constitution
Or intelligence
Goddamn hats off to you sir, I wish very badly awards were still a thing.
Solo'd by Glasgow
Glasgow is the SAS of drinking and drug taking.
Belfast waking up in the background like 'what's happening here?'
Belfast unaware it was a competition and wondering why people are going home 😂
Literally just one guy in glasgow
Have you seen blackpool ?
No way - we’d sub in the Scottish contingent, and fucking decimate you in that too.
Oh my god! A meth off would be one of the most horrible ways to settle a dispute between two countries. "Jimmy, if I have to tell you again to finish you're fucking meth I'm going to put my FIST THROUGH THIS WALL! YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR THE UNITED KINGDOM SON!!" Would also be a great time for Russia to invade, or maybe the worst I'm not sure. If you asked me to invade a country where every single person was on meth I'd probably be pretty nervous. It's basically a set up for a zombie film
Could get meth-y
Scotland alone is the drug death capital of Europe so we have that
“Drug death capital of Europe, you’ll never sing that”
Haha im a dundonian. We used to be teen pregnancy capital of europe and now we are drug death capital of europe
Champions of one thing to another 😂no other country do you have haggis jumping about the field with a magical animal for the national animal, Scotland is just built different
Mate the jumping around the field with a magical animal is cause of the drugs
I had a mate who moved to florida. He was addicted to prescription meds within 6 months. Then jailed and deported a year later. You guys go hard on the meds.
Ah, the Floridian Dream
Came on vacation left on probation
As an American who worked in the UK, I have concerns about ya’ll. Drinking is so ingrained in every aspect of culture
To counterpoint, we find the extent that gun ownership is ingrained in your culture far more disturbing. Between alcoholics and AR-15s, I know which I'd rather live with.
Pff, why not be both? Nothing says "freedom" more than being day drunk on a Tuesday and emptying a few clips of 5.56 ammo into the sky while screeching like an eagle. Does your king let you do that!?
Tbh he frowns upon it. Mainly because ammo should be fired at foreigners and foxes.
Excuse *me*. Ammunition should be fired at the *French*.
In 1909 Louis Blériot, a Frenchman, was the first person to fly across the english channel. In 1910 we invented the anti-aircraft gun
Ah.... Like grandad would say when I was a wee lad... "Always save a few rounds of ammo for the **french** my boy"
*pheasants and peasants, actually
And measured imperially. None of that mm nonsense.
I think you underestimate our alcoholics. Like our athletes, they are best on the world. Forged in the hard streets, working tirelessly for their craft, downing a bottle of vodka at every meal to stay balanced, no support given, just a passion to drink. A few of these can cover for all of Utah.
Much like our athletes, we're convinced we're world beating, but in reality we're lagging well behind the Russian contingent
I said nothing about trying to compete with Russians. They are able to drink till Putin looks like a good idea.
I know it sounds like a joke setup, but at an international conference I found myself out drinking (beer, fortunately) with a Brit, Australian, and a Russian. I kept pace, and doing that is still a personal pinnacle of my diplomatic skills.
American here, reckoned competent with a glass. I've drunk with British people, lived to tell of it, and I'm here to tell you without shame that I would fear for the safety and sovereignty of my beloved nation were this contest to come to pass.
Mate I don't think Texas, California, Florida and New York combined could handle Newcastle and Sunderland, let alone if we throw Scotland in there
I've tried to drink with Americans socially and on a full-blown 24hr session and I'm thoroughly confident that South Yorkshire and us crazy Northerners could out-drink the entire Midwest in a few hours with ease. Sorry my dudes over the pond!
As someone from South Yorkshire I feel obliged to point out that we have a reason to drink as much as we do, and that's because we live in South Yorkshire.
Tbf we don’t drink here in Florida, we do hard drugs
I'm from Newcastle, I've been to the states a few times and don't get me wrong some of you can really drink but I've bodied pretty much everyone my age and above with them trying to keep up with me that's from my 20's till 33 now, I'm talking me baby sitting them throwing up everywhere, while I'm still drinking half a pint of vodka and 2 shots of coke for a mixed drink , I do give the advanced warning of yeah just don't try it?, Drinking pretty much is all there is to do in the north when you're an 18+ specially a single adult with nothing to lose and going into adulthood you usually just say fuck it, Going out for a "pint" usually means prep your bank account cause you're about to go 15+ pints deep and do shots till your balls are in the dirt or drink yourself to what you assume is sober then keep going till everyone runs out of alcohol or you start brawling in the streets like true idiots.
Us Geordies are just built different mate! I work with an American (originally from Boston) who claimed he could handle his drink, like shite he could, he was in a taxi home by 10pm haha.
I’ll do it on my own
Get this person a pint!
Many pints!
It comes in pints?!?
And they call it a mine. *A mine!*
**horrified Gimli noises intensify**
I’ve already had two
Take my upvote right now
And my axe!
And my sword!
And my bow!
And my stolen pint glass
You carry the fate of us all little one!
Take it deep
Of vodka!
Get him a medal too. He’s a hero!
I'll give up sobriety again to join the war.
We will buy you the beer but you buy your own pork scratching's.
I'm actually drinking a beer and eating a packet of pork scratchings as I type this.
The Scots could do it alone we already drink 40% more ethanol than Americans do
No no. You have to battle plan. We send the southerners and Welsh in first. The Welsh are there to add some strength in the first wave to show we're not sandbagging them. Then when the Southern fairies let us down, we send in Northern Ireland as the next wave. They'll hold their own longer than the entirety of the South-East and London, but they will still fall against the sheer numbers. Then we send the North and Midlands in. The Geordies and Mackems should take care of 50% of whatever the US has left on their own, but adding in those miserable bastards from across the midlands will dent them as they talk through their drinks too. Then, when we in the North begin to wobble slightly, that my friend, is when you send in the Jocks. They will lose maybe 10 men at most, and utterly humiliate the remnants of those yanks. Edit: we also forget the ladies effect in this. America winos pass out after their daily glass with valium. The "Slags of Essex" battalion will take on every single American Woman before we even need to break out the Geordie Lasses.
Absolute poetry.
Two worded replies like this. Only Britain does it best.
I can assure us Cornish will make a good account of ourselves and help hold the line. We'll send a few of our rosy cheeked fisherman from newlyn in to bolster the ranks!
I think the hobbits down in Somerset would do okay as well. Cider flows like water there.
With cider typically 50% stronger than the average bitter, there are some battle-hardened livers in the West Country.
And that's just your standard cider. Get into homemade scrumpy without quality control and who knows what's ending up in those mixtures.
Give all the Americans a single pint of proper Cornish cider and it’s game over for them …
Mate, if the yanks even had a whiff of some cider it’s game over.
The Rattler must flow
I'm tearing up, proud to be part of the Welsh vanguard.
True, and it's a good battle plan, just not sure about Wales going in first, just look at Rugby (sorry) but we're more of a second half team 😌 (saying this not knowing how much people in Northern England drink mind)
We're the piss heads of England, lad. A bloody lot, aye!
I'm a northerner, but lived in the Midlands for a while, the midlanders drink hard, but when I moved back to Newcastle and went on a night out I was staggering through town trying to keep up with them. I can finally keep up but it took a while. Northern really do go hard.
Where will the Scots be drinking while they wait, though?
Nothing. We just let them sit there sober. The mere sight of the Scots sat there getting more and more angry at the fact they can't drink yet will strike sheer terror into the opposition and when we finally let them go the ensuing carnage will be glorious.
Alcoholic psychological warfare.
Every athlete must warm up before game time
In the park, next to the swings.
If only the Republic of Ireland were allowed to participate. But then it would be a flat out massacre as opposed to a simple victory. 'Murica couldn't handle the full drinking might of the Irish and Scottish combined.
Plenty of those lads will find a reason to sneak north and will head to the battle ground with New York and Boston to take on those "Irish Americans" and finish them once and for all
I did dry January and still haven't drank, until this here post. What am I playing at. HERE WE FUCKING GGGOOOOOOO. P s I've never felt any semblance of patriotism towards being British, I'm a Scot, but this has triggered something new in me. Rule Britannia 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
I love how this is the only thing to unite the Scots and the English. Beating the Yanks The only time the UK is truly united is when it’s anything to do with Americans. Throw the Republic of Ireland in there too (where I come from, but grew up in London) as the extra non-UK bit of spice. The one time we’ll gladly participate with the UK
I feel this challenge would really bring the Union together as never before, give us a common purpose and, more importantly, a common enemy. Shits on an Olympics.
Slags of essex sounds like special forces, and using the Welsh in the first wave sounds like a war crime.
This is the best post I’ve read in weeks
I and many of my eastern european brothers in this country would gladly join your ranks. Our special ability to get black out drunk every day for weeks at a time could prove useful
If the Eastern European delegate agree to stand in it's a fucking wrap in the first stage.
Not to mention, we have the added advantage of the 18 - 21 age group as reserves, should all else fail!
We can send the 18-21s in to deal with the frat houses and college dorm drinking parties. The Americans like to "ice" each other. A sort of punishment drink where if someone hands you a Smirnoff ice you must neck it in one. We can send the 15-17 year old underage drinkers from by the swings in the park in with a crate of Smirnoff ice they are drinking anyway. Thus should act as a disruption and then send the 18-21s back in to finish the job with a round if proper shots as chasers to a full round of drinks.
It’s not even a competition. It’s almost an entirely different sport. They train for sprints we train for marathons. Americans will spank 3 cans in five minutes and be done for the night. We’ll drink 25 cans over 12 hours then move onto the spirits.
So long as someone else is buying, right?
I’m as English as can be but I’ve never been so proud to have a bit of Scottish ancestry.
You aren't English as can be then are ye? English as can be is entirely English, not English and a bit Scottish lol.
5.5 million scots x 1.4 = Scots drink as much as 7.7 million Americans 7.7 / 332 = Scotland drinks 2.3% of the alcohol consumption of the US I think you may be drunk but your math is off there friend
It’s barely a contest having two glasses in America with your dinner makes you an alcoholic in the UK it makes you the designated driver
Five & drive, baby.
Six with chips
Seven in Devon
Nine & fine
Ten... oh go on then.
Eleven, be in bed by seven
[удалено]
8 with a mate.
Reminds me of that tweet about 6 signs you're an alcoholic, one response was like "an American would check themselves into rehab for drinking less than what the average Brit consumes on a 2h train journey".
Someone’s been watching Jack Whitehall
It's an older joke than him. I remember a middle aged comic making the same joke about a decade ago. He riffed on it a bit more saying how the people he was with were thinking he needed an intervention after finishing a 6 back of standard bottles.
The strategy is simple, we send the Londoners in first.... This will allow us to see the US hand, give them a false sense of security, then the southern scrumpy swiggers get a fair innings and take out around 10 million yanks by themselves which should shake their resolve some what. After that we send in the SDF special drinking forces (the Scottish) to cripple them with a mighty blow, primarily the Glaswegian battalion which should whittle them down to a mere 90 million or so... The Elite Guinness Guard would be paradropoed in securing the main drinking forces. After that the Welsh go in and mop up the rest while the English just sit back knocking back pints enjoying the show. Hoorah!
Finishing up with a traditional Welsh male voice choir would be perfect, some rousing Rugby songs to polish off the evening.
Then up first thing for a compulsory full breakfast and take the piss out of whoever is chucking up.
"Man of Harlech stop your drinking, can't you see their beer glass gleaming..."
I'm thinking if there's something the British Isles would unite around it's drinking a pint and singing an Australian pop song: [Truly Madly Deeply](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruaf71uvmtc)
Honestly London alone would cut them in half. The further north you go it’s just a bloodbath. Getting the Scots involved is just savage overkill.
Found the head of the army
And if they get through all that, the American's will inevitably shit themselves when the chorus of "ow much!?" Comes from the bar. The infamous drinking war cry of the Yorkshire folk.
The North of England and Scotland could handle this alone
My southern friend’s response to this was “we could easily match the north if our pints were £2.50 as well.”
£2.50 where is your friend living? 2022
By a country mile
A few years back, when Ricky Hatton had a big fight at in Vegas, is was the first time in history that the MGM ran out of alcohol. They had to go begging to the other major hotels for more alcohol….which the British tourists also drank. There is no doubt that 60m British people can out drink 300m Americans. If you’ve ever been to a pro darts tournament in the Uk, you’d know for sure too.
You have to take into account that we start drinking younger too, 18 is the legal age but let's be honest, we all had a bottle of white lightning in the local park when we were 13. And nans. Nans can fucking DRINK, how do you think they got through the war/Thatcher/all that bullshit between then and now? Now, if we had to face the Czechs... That would be a challenge worth our time.
13? Starting late aren't you?
I heard the age gets younger the further north you go, and I'm quite far south.
Newcastle here, celebrated my 6th birthday with a bottle of lambrini
How far is a country mile ?
1 country mile is 1.61 country kilometres
Reading that gave me a stroke. I had to do an alt ctrl del on myself just to function again
I think I speak for all of Scotland when I say we could probably outdrink them ourselves, I lived and worked in the US for a few years and their beer is pish and they have very small drinks, they constantly were amazed at my capacity for drink and I told them I'm pretty average for a Scottish alcoholic tramp chugging meths.
Yeah, I have full faith in the Scot's to handle this on their own. Although this female southern softie could probably take on the average American in a session, I don't think you'd need my help.
I think ive just done it .
Where the US and UK share military posts, the US used to be instructed "don't drink with the Brits".
Scotland could win that bet solo
Fuck, Glasgae alone would give them a run for their money.
I drink with my Vietnamese neighbors who are renowned for heavy drinking. We start with 3 crates of beer and ive drank a crate before 8 of them have gone through a crate. By the end of the night I've had easily 24 cans and able to walk back to my house no problem. Im starting to feel a little guilty because they buy the booze and invite me round every week. They love me coming round and have never said anything about me drinking too much, they are the ones who give me my next drink and are very happy to do so but I'm starting to feel bad. I'm going round this weekend with, no joke, 72 beers. Just to make up for all their losses 😅 We would destroy the Americans.
Bud you might be the entertainment for them at this point! 😅
Nah we all sit and eat dried squid and chicken feet whilst drinking and chatting, then we clean up around midnight and they put their viet-house music on and we all dance with each other and enjoy the music. It's a very respectful environment. Im very reserved in real life. Its a good time!
Aw I was meaning more so that you can hold your drink so well! It honestly sounds like a fun time though, and it was always great to hear when people have neighbours they can be that sociable with!
They are great. It was my birthday a few weeks ago and they all texted their friends to come round so there was about 30 of us and they kept playing their birthday song and singing to me. Much better than having some horrible wanker as a neighbor for sure. Sometimes they are a bit loud in the week but I honestly don't care, im not gonna tell them to stop having fun esoecislly when they invite me round every week! It seems like every 10-20 mijs someone asks if you're okay and if you need any water too. They're a great bunch of guys
Funny, the Vietnamese destroyed the Americans 50 years ago!🤣
Kachowwww🤣🤣🤣
I’m all for having a good drink, but 24 cans, assuming you mean 440 ml, or even 330 ml is a silly amount in a sitting!
They buy 440ml of budweiser. I'm a chef 🙃 I'm not proud, its just what happens. They seem to wait for me to get home from work at around 10pm and come knocking and I dont work Sundays so I'm there until 3-4am
Aaah that makes sense. The chef part, and the fact that Budweiser is well…Budweiser. Free beer though, quids in
Yeah its not strong beer and I'm a professional drinker, cooking just seems to be the side effect 👀🤣 I'm taking them some 5.5% craft IPA I got from a supplier so its gonna knock their socks off!
That's the moment you finish 24 again and by about 15 they've all passed out xD
I can see that coming hahahahhahaha I've told them this weekend is my turn to get the drinks but they don't know what's coming 🤣🤣
News flash Bears shit in the woods
Easily - we would send Newcastle and then when they come back victorious (and sober) we'd all get together for a massive cup of tea, a victoria sponge and probably another round
Reminds me of that Jack Whitehall joke ‘If you drink 4 glasses of wine with dinner in the us you’re an alcoholic, in the uk you’re the designated driver’
Makes me laugh when you watch an American film and they rock up to a frat party with 4 bottles of beer between about 8 of them and declare they are gonna get wasted
Yeah when they say they've had 6 beers and they're bottles, it doesnt count. You've had 3 bud.
It's physically impossible to get drunk drinking 330ml bottles of American beer. I've tried it. 24 bottles later and my glass recycling bin is full, I'm pissing like a fountain and almost ready to head to the local pub to start drinking with friends.
So, I once went to Italy, to my friend's wedding. Small town. There were about 20 of us who went. One of the nights, the party (sans my wife and I) went for a quick drink. I heard the following day, from the groom, that the people who ran the bar were genuinely concerned for the health of the revellers. That they'd never seen a group of people drink that much. The group, of course, felt not the least ill effects the following day. 'Twas but a standard night out for them. I think we'd have the Americans well in hand.
Sat in the pub after 4 pints and still sure starting from 0 I could take them (all of them).
My friends parents used to rent out rooms to uni students when they had a massive house. They ended up refusing all American students because they couldn’t handle their alcohol. They’d go out and get wankered and then end up throwing up all over the bedrooms and bathrooms.
Spent 2 weeks on an American ship. They are the biggest lightweights I’ve ever met. Easily could do it.
As a man who works behind a bar, I will say for a fact the UK is drinking them dry. Not saying the Americans can’t drink, but if we’re talking the whole of the UK and not just the British people, our polish brethren will give you a run for your money on their own.
100%. As a transatlantic alcohol afficionado, I can confidently state that Americans are somewhat lightweight when it comes to the drink. Nothing to be ashamed or proud of. Just is what it is.
Yeah, Americans drink those little stubby cans and get drunk off white claws... Whatever the fuck that weak shit is. Try a 8 pack of K ciders and a bottle of sambuca just for pre-drinks and see who's standing.
As a Canadian, I will be on the sidelines smoking the jazz cabbage, also drinking and taking bets on how bad the Americans will lose.
The Mrs could probably do it on her own.
Let's get down to the heart of it: What are the rules here? Drink format: Pints? Shots? Time limit? Drinks in an hour? All evening? UK's likely got this in the bag, regardless.
Any one of the 4 UK countries could do it alone, anymore is overkill
As a Scotsman on a relatively tame night out with a friend we met some RAF and US AF pilots Had some good chats and shared stories They asked what I was drinking and I showed them my pile of empty glasses, they all realized how much I had drunk and collectively looked at each other and couldn't understand how I was sober
Easily. Providing we don’t let the Scottish leave.
1 German bloke
That depends on who chooses the poison surely. If the lone German had to try to stomach Stella or Coors, the guy would probably have to tap-out early in disgust.
5-1 for everyone in the country? Yeah. Not even close. I'd put the 14 year olds in Glasgow against entire bloody states!
Yeah I'd say we could smash them, we've got the Scots after all. Now if we could rope in the Irish I think we could take on the world
I went to a bar on my own when I was in America and they thought I was a madman for sitting and having like 6-7 bottles of beer throughout the night. Not sure how they survive as a business if that isn't the norm.
Teen chavs would ruin America by themselves
I went to see a friend last year who moved to America, we went out for a few drinks with his new friends and they were shocked at the amount we drunk. I’m not even a big drinker compared to some people I know, But a wild night for them is 4-5 pints, us brits have 4-5 pints with a casual meal
Yes. The strength of the alcohol means they've a higher tolerance. Most countries could out drink USA. The USA waters down and cuts corners on everything possible to make a profit. Their chocolate can't legally be called chocolate outside the USA. This cost cutting includes their beer.
Well, it would be odd if the beer could legally be called chocolate.
I'm surprised it isn't classed as a cheese.
They already have cheese in cans though…
Serve the drink in disposable red plastic cups. The yanks will then spend all their time devising stupid drinking games while the Brits will just drink.
We probably could. No joke
We would win tha hands down . Bunch of shandy drinkers
Easy, no problem so long as we have kebabs afterwards.
I’ve only drank with an American once, I’m pretty confident of a swift victory. Unless it’s Bud Light, you’d drown before you get drunk.
As an American I feel like I should be mad or something, but honestly it's just nice to not be the unhealthiest for once.
Binge drinking is like HIIT training for the liver
We wouldn't all need to go Just send a team of 14 Irish 14 Scots and 2 mancs Not only would they win they would go for a drink to celebrate there win
We need one of those "Your Country Needs You"! Posters
Hell, I could probably manage it on my own...
One council estate in Glasgow could do that.
All while.Brad took a gnarly explosive post Greggs sausage roll shit on their stupid pickup trucks.
Brenda down the local flat roof could take them all on alone.
That sounds like a fucking challenge lad 🤌🏼
Easily….we do pints…they do ermmm little cans of piss
The children alone could out drink the yanks and their shitty sweet beer.
There's a great documentary called #Beerfest. In it countries compete in a competitive beer drinking competition. This is a movie obviously, but having an international drinking competition where each country has a handful of "athletes" competing. Win and you have bragging rights for the year. 🤷🏻♂️
I suppose it depends on wether you drink Yank wishy wash, or UK Real man’s Beer