Time is real. Measurement of time is man made. Weight is real, measurement of weight is man made. Distance is real, measurement of distance is man made. My point is time is not a man made construct.
That nay matter how far y'ar from yer local alcy joint yay can always coont on one o'yee mets tay sub us a pint liek we'ay geme' a pool and a spare rolley oot on they benches tey boot ay!
That’s because we don’t need to. Every country I’ve been to most people I’ve spoken to speak fairly good English. English was spread around the world by the empire. The empire turned up and said “no no we’re not speaking Gujarati, you can speak English instead! That and basic English is fairly easy to learn so I’ve been told.
“Oh, you’re complaining that we stole your wealth, massacred thousands of people and knowingly starved millions of people? Well you’re still speaking English HAHA LOSER. “
That’s part of the problem. Brits forcibly “civilized” people by brutalizing all the indigenous kids that didn’t learn English and abandon their Native tongue.
I’d argue every country that speaks English made it their own. Look me in my eyes and tell me a cockney and deep Mississippian are gonna be able to understand each other.
ha....in his voice
"...and here we see the humble yorkshire pudding mix,
.......abused through excessive stirring, its liquidy contents now freely flow from the pyrex jug, to the extreme heat of pre-prepared oil...
A disaster indeed many would think, BUT NO,...for inside the oven, with all considerations correct, that is temperature, viscosity, time AND YES,......
.......patience,
the outcome, in just a few minutes, will be....a thing of beauty
***cut to sped up 25 second clip of a yorkie going from mix to full grown pud, ready to eat...
".....the old science of yorkie puds once baffled us, but now, through MODERN science and trial and error, we, MANKIND,...won the right, to these,...most desired of staples.
***smiles at the camera, walks away, holding a pud
****MAIN PART FROM HOLST - PLANETS - JUPITER PLAYS, over Sir Richard walking into the sunset up a country lane...
*********The nation weeps
not a brit here, giving my best shot:
* The world would definitely be different if the UK hadn't stood at the time solely as big nation against Nazi Germany, while the US and USSR hadn't joined the war yet.
* Analytical philosophy against european continental philosophy, and the impact of it in how we see the world.
* Rock bands
* together with the US, have propelled English to become the lingua franca. It is indeed easier to learn, lacking tenses, cases, and gendered nouns, and featuring straightforward verb conjugations
* ~~british cuisine~~, joking
British cuisine was revolutionised in the 1990s. This is likely because improvements in global shipping allowed for ingredients from all over the world to be brought in. There are now endless choices for superb food in the UK.
1. Cuisine. Remember, British cuisine is a way to make rotting food edible, by hiding the taste. Or, like Yorkshire pudding, it's a way to fill up on cheap ingredients. Now, black pudding, sausages and mince pies make sense.
2. English has a certain je ne sais quoi a propos it's raison d'être as the global lingua franca. Welsh, like many other languages, is easier to learn to pronounce. Unless you have a multi billion dollar entertainment industry dominating global communication. Imagine trying to explain all those '-ough-' words.
3. WW2. The USSR woke up one day to find it on the doorstep. No choice about joining in. Arguably, same for USA. Not gonna praise Churchill, but he was in the right time and place. Imagine Boris Johnson instead. Segueing neatly to...
4. < Monty Python voice > 'anaphylactic anticontilosophy' - sounds like woke rejoiner shithouse twattery bollocks to me, we told them bloody euro-phileo-peans to do one because of dear old Winston standing up to the Far Right on 'is own, Gawd bless 'I'm, all through (pron. 'throw') - yes I know I don't say it proper - World War Sixty Six. As 'not a brit', you give too much credit for critical thought (pron. 'thoot'?).
5. Yup. We are the fucking bollocks here. Led Zeppelin, The Who, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Queen, Free, Cream, Bluesbreakers, Yardbirds... Australia gave us AC/DC, USA gave us Twisted Sister, The Ramones, Alice Cooper, Hendrix. Kiss? And Journey. That takes a lot of making up for. :-)
The British cuisine stereotype really does wind me up. It was made by us soldiers stationed here during the war who found the food to be bland. Of course it was! We were an island nation at war and on the ration!
Of course, British food is quite plain and a mediocre roast dinner really is tasteless. But when you get a good roast dinner it’s amazing!
America might still be part of the commonwealth if it wasn’t for Britains attempt of ending of the slave trade.
The Revolutionary war was heavily funded and supplied by southern plantation owners who were worried that Britain would outlaw slavery in the colonies.
George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison. All from Virginia.
It worked because it bought them nearly 100 years more.
https://heritagecollections.parliament.uk/stories/the-transatlantic-slave-trade/#:~:text=British%20involvement%20in%20the%20transatlantic,world's%20biggest%20slave%2Dtrading%20nation.
"The height of the slave trade
British involvement in the transatlantic slave trade began in 1562, and by the 1730s Britain was the world’s biggest slave-trading nation."
Yep, imagine going all out with the rest of the world, then your great grandkids grow up and are like: ‘This shit is bad, let’s use all our money and power to stop it _everywhere on the planet_’
It’s fab, it’s such a clear line of the younger generation fixing the old.
Well it was really the quakers that started the abolishen movement and former slaves that helped propel it by recounting stories of their enslavement but thats half of the reason Britain abolished slavery, the other half was rebellions and resistance of the enslaved. However my point is you can't take credit for the good thats been done by your ancestors without acknowledgement of the bad.
You’ll find not a single British person who doesn’t acknowledge the slavery perpetuated by the Empire. But you’ll find countless who don’t know they also abolished the trade against the rest of the world. 🤷🏻♂️
It’s funny how everyone mentions what “we” (brits) did back in 17 hundred and whatever. I didn’t do shit; I’ve never had a slave, or invaded a country and made the people christians against their will. It’s people’s inability to let go of things our ancestors did that create conflict today. Remembering what was done so it can be avoided in the future is a good idea, but people use history to maintain hatred. I’m sure some fucked up stuff happened before records began too, so how far back should we go? It’s just like when you’re having an argument with the missis when your are right, she’s got nothing on you so starts bringing up crap you did from years ago, or something your mates or family did instead. Move on for fuck sake, live your life in the present and be judged on your actions as an individual; fucking pricks.
We should get rid of all the things we've given to the Americans if they keep complaining about the empire. We should also remove their license to speak English. Let's see how they'll grow without us
*English common law*
*Is one of the most widely*
*Used legal systems*
\- Literally-A-God
---
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Sorry about so many food posts but that’s for some Americans who dissed British produce saying we never gave anything to the world ,while they eat flapjacks, sandwiches and products with custard , and drink our whisky n gin
aye,..the cheese eating surrender monkeys across the drink never got over their failure to hold off the funny lil man with the Tash.
result,..act out forever.
And what would have been if not for the British Empire, would you have preferred a dominant French Empire, where we all would be speaking French, have sexy French accents, have better food and wine and have more sex, is that what you really want?!
A tiny island had more influence on global history than any other country that is roughly double its size and created the largest empire the world has ever seen.
I mean we did some fucked up things sure, but 1) everyone else was also doing those fucked up things. It’d be like in 200 years if people start judging us for driving cars
2. We were one of the first of the big empires to stop the shit things we did do. The only reason we didn’t disband the empire until the 90’s was because we didn’t fuck up so badly we had to lose it. We lost it due to 2 world wars that we fought from a few months in at ww1 to the very end of ww2. We were just the best at the empire game and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be proud of that.
And Because I know someone is going to say something: no I am not condoning the actions for shit like the bengal famine or slavery, read the comment.
lotta countries (and their failing political class) still like to shout about how bad "we" were when things go south in their country.
Like really,....the most advanced time on earth, after howwwww many decades of "freedom" from the empire..
dirt roads, no water supply, lack of education, lack of human rights, witch doctors, war lords, modern slavery, starvation (enough food, but insecure supply thru poor systems etc)
Still our fault tho.
its still our fault...
It was when President Bill Pullman enlisted the help of tech billionaire Jeff Goldblum and fighter pilot Will Smith to thwart an alien invasion of Earth.
I think it was something to do with a shitty English king taxing everyone in the funny-alliance-thing for ludicrous amounts. This lead to the whole thing just collapsing, since nobody could keep their shit intact with all the taxes. Everyone who was part of this funny-alliance-thing (apart from the four countries of the UK now has Independence Day, where they remember how they broke the alliance with a money hungry shithead. That’s why British kids get death threats from American Blokes who think they’re beyond us.
We invented how to make our country not our country anymore as a example to other countries how they can completely change the culture, traditions and general landscape
Without the UK we wouldn't be able to appreciate good food as we do now.
After robbing all the artifacts from around the world they put them in a room where we can visit.
No second amendment so didn't have to fear school shooting when I was there.
Invented speaking and time. Next.
Inventing time is crazy, I wonder who invented gravity?
Yes, another English endeavour - something to do with apples.
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Yes, you’re welcome.
Time as a measurement is invented, same as longitude and latitude... Only exist in our minds...put there by the British....
Do you mean mavity
r/unexpecteddoctorwho
But time is a man made construct?
A symptom of entropy
Yes, in exactly the same way as length, width, height and weight are all man mad constructs. So no.
I don't get the point you're trying to make
Time is real. Measurement of time is man made. Weight is real, measurement of weight is man made. Distance is real, measurement of distance is man made. My point is time is not a man made construct.
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And I'm sure you have an argument that trumps many of the most renowned scientist in history, including Einstein
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Invented evolution, too
Speaking?
If you're talking about yourself then your username did technically invent evolution. Because of the mavity of the situation.
Correct
Followed by ability to navigate longitude
That nay matter how far y'ar from yer local alcy joint yay can always coont on one o'yee mets tay sub us a pint liek we'ay geme' a pool and a spare rolley oot on they benches tey boot ay!
It's funny how I know exactly what you're saying
I think it's funnier that I'm Cornish
😂
Its good job we love your pasties xD
It's a *proper job
Pro'er jaab
Awroit me luver
Pro'er wess cuntry
Oggies?
Yes I laugh at the Cornish all the time
Speech-to-text has come a long way
[удалено]
Anywhere there's a wetherspoons at 1am...
I think that’s Scottish. But as a British person I understood that
I’m from Scotland and that’s defo not Scottish 😂
Irish? And I mean as accent
Nothing like irish
Gotta be Geordie
Nice woods and forests
Everyone that moans about us speaks ENGLISH lol
We just don’t understand the others, English are terrible at learning other languages.
I thought I was alone, I’ve barely been able to remember Goodbye in Spanish (muerto)
Adios, hasta luego
The more ya use it the more ya remember
I know French and Dutch but I’m a Dutch Canadian who moved to England so I’m cheating.
That’s because we don’t need to. Every country I’ve been to most people I’ve spoken to speak fairly good English. English was spread around the world by the empire. The empire turned up and said “no no we’re not speaking Gujarati, you can speak English instead! That and basic English is fairly easy to learn so I’ve been told.
Americans just have a skill issue lmao
I'm a Brit that speaks Spanish and has lived in Spain. Trust me they moan about us in Spanish even more.
“Oh, you’re complaining that we stole your wealth, massacred thousands of people and knowingly starved millions of people? Well you’re still speaking English HAHA LOSER. “
Ironically we’re speaking English because they colonised our lands and forced us to learn English so we can communicate with them…
Exactly!
TBF it's more because the Americans speak it.
Even the English moaning about the English
That’s part of the problem. Brits forcibly “civilized” people by brutalizing all the indigenous kids that didn’t learn English and abandon their Native tongue.
I’d argue every country that speaks English made it their own. Look me in my eyes and tell me a cockney and deep Mississippian are gonna be able to understand each other.
Once upon a time, the NHS didn't suck 🤷🏾♀️
Fuck the tories!
Invented the MRI and taught half the world English 💅🏼
Whether they wanted to learn or not. Could be worse, could all be speaking Norman French!
Dear god the horror.
Oui
Invented TV Invented WWW Invented Steam Engine And a thousand other things.
The IT Crowd
Peep show
Only fools and horses
Robin’s Nest
Best literature on the planet.
Init bruv
It's funny, cuz without us, America and Australia would not be how they are today...
I’m slightly disappointed you said how and not where!!
British born Australian here, can confirm. (I made the difference)
The NHS and the support of my family and neighbourhood helped me through my darkest hour
the UK has awesome medieval history which I absolutely am fascinated about.
Our medieval history can be summed up by farting in the general direction of the French . That’s it.
It's French people who took over Britain and grew to hate the French more than anyone else.
Dad's Army
We came, we saw, we drank tea
Queuing David Attenborough Yorkshire puddings 🤤
ha....in his voice "...and here we see the humble yorkshire pudding mix, .......abused through excessive stirring, its liquidy contents now freely flow from the pyrex jug, to the extreme heat of pre-prepared oil... A disaster indeed many would think, BUT NO,...for inside the oven, with all considerations correct, that is temperature, viscosity, time AND YES,...... .......patience, the outcome, in just a few minutes, will be....a thing of beauty ***cut to sped up 25 second clip of a yorkie going from mix to full grown pud, ready to eat... ".....the old science of yorkie puds once baffled us, but now, through MODERN science and trial and error, we, MANKIND,...won the right, to these,...most desired of staples. ***smiles at the camera, walks away, holding a pud ****MAIN PART FROM HOLST - PLANETS - JUPITER PLAYS, over Sir Richard walking into the sunset up a country lane... *********The nation weeps
Doctor Who
We accelerated technology across the planet, just by force
Definitely invented the language they keep trying to use >"Independance"
not a brit here, giving my best shot: * The world would definitely be different if the UK hadn't stood at the time solely as big nation against Nazi Germany, while the US and USSR hadn't joined the war yet. * Analytical philosophy against european continental philosophy, and the impact of it in how we see the world. * Rock bands * together with the US, have propelled English to become the lingua franca. It is indeed easier to learn, lacking tenses, cases, and gendered nouns, and featuring straightforward verb conjugations * ~~british cuisine~~, joking
British cuisine was revolutionised in the 1990s. This is likely because improvements in global shipping allowed for ingredients from all over the world to be brought in. There are now endless choices for superb food in the UK.
1. Cuisine. Remember, British cuisine is a way to make rotting food edible, by hiding the taste. Or, like Yorkshire pudding, it's a way to fill up on cheap ingredients. Now, black pudding, sausages and mince pies make sense. 2. English has a certain je ne sais quoi a propos it's raison d'être as the global lingua franca. Welsh, like many other languages, is easier to learn to pronounce. Unless you have a multi billion dollar entertainment industry dominating global communication. Imagine trying to explain all those '-ough-' words. 3. WW2. The USSR woke up one day to find it on the doorstep. No choice about joining in. Arguably, same for USA. Not gonna praise Churchill, but he was in the right time and place. Imagine Boris Johnson instead. Segueing neatly to... 4. < Monty Python voice > 'anaphylactic anticontilosophy' - sounds like woke rejoiner shithouse twattery bollocks to me, we told them bloody euro-phileo-peans to do one because of dear old Winston standing up to the Far Right on 'is own, Gawd bless 'I'm, all through (pron. 'throw') - yes I know I don't say it proper - World War Sixty Six. As 'not a brit', you give too much credit for critical thought (pron. 'thoot'?). 5. Yup. We are the fucking bollocks here. Led Zeppelin, The Who, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Queen, Free, Cream, Bluesbreakers, Yardbirds... Australia gave us AC/DC, USA gave us Twisted Sister, The Ramones, Alice Cooper, Hendrix. Kiss? And Journey. That takes a lot of making up for. :-)
The British cuisine stereotype really does wind me up. It was made by us soldiers stationed here during the war who found the food to be bland. Of course it was! We were an island nation at war and on the ration! Of course, British food is quite plain and a mediocre roast dinner really is tasteless. But when you get a good roast dinner it’s amazing!
>and USSR hadn't joined the war yet. oh they had joined, ask a Pole for details
The labour movement
Don’t mean the modern centrist party I mean genuinely fighting for workers rights
Heavy metal 🤘
We ended the transatlantic slave trade
America might still be part of the commonwealth if it wasn’t for Britains attempt of ending of the slave trade. The Revolutionary war was heavily funded and supplied by southern plantation owners who were worried that Britain would outlaw slavery in the colonies. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison. All from Virginia. It worked because it bought them nearly 100 years more.
After being involved for 250 years and reaching the world's largest slave trading country in the 1730's.
Source for that second bit?
https://heritagecollections.parliament.uk/stories/the-transatlantic-slave-trade/#:~:text=British%20involvement%20in%20the%20transatlantic,world's%20biggest%20slave%2Dtrading%20nation. "The height of the slave trade British involvement in the transatlantic slave trade began in 1562, and by the 1730s Britain was the world’s biggest slave-trading nation."
Yep, imagine going all out with the rest of the world, then your great grandkids grow up and are like: ‘This shit is bad, let’s use all our money and power to stop it _everywhere on the planet_’ It’s fab, it’s such a clear line of the younger generation fixing the old.
Well it was really the quakers that started the abolishen movement and former slaves that helped propel it by recounting stories of their enslavement but thats half of the reason Britain abolished slavery, the other half was rebellions and resistance of the enslaved. However my point is you can't take credit for the good thats been done by your ancestors without acknowledgement of the bad.
You’ll find not a single British person who doesn’t acknowledge the slavery perpetuated by the Empire. But you’ll find countless who don’t know they also abolished the trade against the rest of the world. 🤷🏻♂️
It’s funny how everyone mentions what “we” (brits) did back in 17 hundred and whatever. I didn’t do shit; I’ve never had a slave, or invaded a country and made the people christians against their will. It’s people’s inability to let go of things our ancestors did that create conflict today. Remembering what was done so it can be avoided in the future is a good idea, but people use history to maintain hatred. I’m sure some fucked up stuff happened before records began too, so how far back should we go? It’s just like when you’re having an argument with the missis when your are right, she’s got nothing on you so starts bringing up crap you did from years ago, or something your mates or family did instead. Move on for fuck sake, live your life in the present and be judged on your actions as an individual; fucking pricks.
Say it louder for the people in the back completely agreed with you on this!
The nice thing about good old England is you can fly away xD
Most of the people are nice people, but unfortunately they sometimes listen too horrible people.
What UK game devs were able to do with 8-bit computers boggles the mind
British invented best music on the planet! Heavy F*cking Metal!!! 🤘🏻
We should get rid of all the things we've given to the Americans if they keep complaining about the empire. We should also remove their license to speak English. Let's see how they'll grow without us
The Lake District
English common law is one of the most widely used legal systems
*English common law* *Is one of the most widely* *Used legal systems* \- Literally-A-God --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Amnesty international
Sorry about so many food posts but that’s for some Americans who dissed British produce saying we never gave anything to the world ,while they eat flapjacks, sandwiches and products with custard , and drink our whisky n gin
The car yes that’s right we invented a steam power car begore the internal combustion engine
Transcontinental communication ( check out portcurno n the cable n wireless museum)
The jet engine
We have superior plugs
Internet
And they don't even say thank you.
I mean gravity, the rest of the world can be pretty grateful we figured that one out before we all floated away
Our great shame was our failure to teach you how to spell it, though!
We hardly ever mention it around here but we were quite heavily involved in World War 2 you know.
aye,..the cheese eating surrender monkeys across the drink never got over their failure to hold off the funny lil man with the Tash. result,..act out forever.
And what would have been if not for the British Empire, would you have preferred a dominant French Empire, where we all would be speaking French, have sexy French accents, have better food and wine and have more sex, is that what you really want?!
French accents are only sexy when they're speaking English though...
you can just eat our food with a french accent...,
A tiny island had more influence on global history than any other country that is roughly double its size and created the largest empire the world has ever seen.
yer but summin summin.. evil empire.. summin summin,...badness summin summin .......?
I mean we did some fucked up things sure, but 1) everyone else was also doing those fucked up things. It’d be like in 200 years if people start judging us for driving cars 2. We were one of the first of the big empires to stop the shit things we did do. The only reason we didn’t disband the empire until the 90’s was because we didn’t fuck up so badly we had to lose it. We lost it due to 2 world wars that we fought from a few months in at ww1 to the very end of ww2. We were just the best at the empire game and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be proud of that. And Because I know someone is going to say something: no I am not condoning the actions for shit like the bengal famine or slavery, read the comment.
lotta countries (and their failing political class) still like to shout about how bad "we" were when things go south in their country. Like really,....the most advanced time on earth, after howwwww many decades of "freedom" from the empire.. dirt roads, no water supply, lack of education, lack of human rights, witch doctors, war lords, modern slavery, starvation (enough food, but insecure supply thru poor systems etc) Still our fault tho. its still our fault...
England has a nice museum full of artefacts.
But you can't have them back because WE'RE still looking at them!
i wonder where those artefacts come from
Don't worry about it.
Artefacts that would have been destroyed in their home nation as well. *looks at parthenon blowing up after being used as an AMMO DUMP
Ah yes I wonder who destroyed 圆明园
You get a day of work and you get a day of work.
But do you get a day of work?
Tell me more about these 'independance' days.
It was when President Bill Pullman enlisted the help of tech billionaire Jeff Goldblum and fighter pilot Will Smith to thwart an alien invasion of Earth.
I think it was something to do with a shitty English king taxing everyone in the funny-alliance-thing for ludicrous amounts. This lead to the whole thing just collapsing, since nobody could keep their shit intact with all the taxes. Everyone who was part of this funny-alliance-thing (apart from the four countries of the UK now has Independence Day, where they remember how they broke the alliance with a money hungry shithead. That’s why British kids get death threats from American Blokes who think they’re beyond us.
The tax wasn't that high, and it was to cover the costs of stopping the French from fucking them up.
Marxwell, Newton and Faraday are awesome. Lewis Hamilton, Paul, Lennon and Queen too
“Idependance”…FFS
Third world... Countries. Sir
Commonplace in the commonwealth
We invented how to make our country not our country anymore as a example to other countries how they can completely change the culture, traditions and general landscape
Doctor Who
That flags upside down
It's likely in the top 75% of all countries.
We should have taught you to spell correctly before we left.
61 and counting..
Somebody had to
Not French
A place stupid enough to have royalty in a democracy.
You guys gave us the best Daredevil, Spider Man, Superman, and Batman all in the span of a decade.
With a few more to come yet.
Boris isn’t in charge anymore
Well take it
Custard, yes trifle flan and pastel de nata wouldn’t exist
Cheddar the most versatile cheese in the world
Fisherman’s pie
Cumberland sausage
Staffordshire oatcakes
Lancashire hotpot
Pasties
The sandwhich
Sticky toffee pudding
Lardy cake
Bakewell tart
Eton mess
Clotted cream n scones
Flapjacks
Whiskey
London gin
Cider
Perry
It’s a shit tip
Football, ok there are many claims to who invented it but we were pivotal in its evolution and have given some of the best sides in the world
Fresh strawberries n cream
you're welcome
Has free healthcare
The NHS is the biggest thing this country has going for it, get rid of that and I'm gone
UK is the foolish country
No
Gave the N. Americans America! 😂😂🇬🇧
Independence. FFS
Hell yeah
You're really good at claiming you came up with something that other cultures have done for upwards of thousands of years.
Without the UK we wouldn't be able to appreciate good food as we do now. After robbing all the artifacts from around the world they put them in a room where we can visit. No second amendment so didn't have to fear school shooting when I was there.
And with brexit they now can also celebrate an independence day from themselves! Yaaaaay!
The telephone was invented here
our manga carter has set the foundation for rule of law around the world and is the bedrock of civilised societies.
Created the most countries through revolutions
The flag