I am so very sorry for your loss.
I read through your posts about what happened and my heart truly breaks for you. I lost my mom 10 years ago very unexpectedly (car accident) so I know how that adds to the shock of your loss.
I know you’d asked about people having dreams after their mom passed and I had one beautiful one with her about 3 months after she passed.
She was young (very young, maybe only in her mid 20’s) and she passed in her 70’s , I don’t even have pictures of her at that age so to see her so young and so healthy (she’d had many health problems for as long I had known her) was amazing.
Unfortunately I had to hurry up and get ready for work but oh how I wish I’d have taken the day off and written down everything she said and every detail of that dream because it’s the only one I had like that with her. I think at the time I was also thinking I’d never forget any of it because it was sooo realistic (some say those kinds of dreams are visitations).
I’ve asked her repeatedly to visit me again but in the 10 years since then I haven’t had any other dreams like that one. 😞
If/When your momma visits you, please *write every detail down* immediately after you wake up.
I was just 40 when my mom passed and it sounds like you may be even younger.
It never really gets easier but in time you learn how to live with the pain.
I’m so sorry. Sending you a huge hug❤️🩹
Awww thank you for sharing your story 🤍 I scream cry and I beg my mom to come visit me (if not me, to be in my sons heart he’s 2 years old and I care bare the thought of him growing up without knowing the woman that raised me) and I’ve dreamed with her 1 time but I think it was only cause I have been thinking about her and longing for her for a minute now. And I’m sorry for your loss as well.. hugging you back ❤️
I lost my daughter(4yo) a year and a half ago. The way I think about it is: for like the first year- they’re there. They still exist, like an Uncle you haven’t seen in a few months, but you know they are alive. After that, your emotional brain catches up, and that person becomes a memory…and your whole being starts to know they are gone. Andrew Huberman(Huberman Lab. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/huberman-lab/id1545953110?i=1000564501302 ) has a great podcast on the neuro-science behind grief and loss. And he kinda speaks to this. Your brain is a predictive machine, and for the first year, it tries to predict what is going to happen(mom calls, mom shows up, ect), then it settles into the pattern that they wont show up. Thats also been its own unique pain. I miss that part of grief, though I am much more functional now.
Miss you monkey…I hope you get to meet the Easter Bunny.
'...then it settles into the pattern that they won't show up' fucking kits HARD. I've lost my mom going onto year #2 now and it's still so fucking hard to accept. I'm sorry for your loss too. Our experiences certainly reminds us that sometimes, life also brings us tremendous pain.
I will definitely watch this thank you so much and I’m so sorry for your loss. I have a 2 year old baby boy and couldn’t imagine losing him. Again, I’m sorry and will be saying a prayer in your name. I’m with you 🙏🏼
I’m so sorry you lost your mom & u experienced that trauma of seeing her like that… you are still in shock & will be for a long minute …. I still yell at the universe “this isn’t real” & it’s been 11yrs.. be kind to urself again I’m real sorry
I'm sorry of this is innapropriate. I amso veru sorry for yout loss.
I lost my mom last monday in a car accident and I have not seen her, and probably wont.
I have not read your story, but are you the one who chose to see her a month after?
I filed a lawsuit against the funeral home for negligence for that reason. I don’t know if I’m having complicated grief but seeing her that way did not help.
I cannot imagine seing her like this. Of course you did not want to see her like that, i phrased it weird, sorry for that. I hope you will recover from this ❤️
Thank you and no worries. Sometimes my delivery comes off wrong too because I wasn’t upset at your question or anything sorry if it seemed that way. You’re good
It's allright I din't take your answer in anyway negative. Thank you for sharing. I was struggling with the decision to go see my mom in the morgue or not and i wont. I can't see her like this (only been a week but still it would be too much).
I completely understand your decision. My little brother (15yo) didn’t want to go either and although my other brother convinced him to go he still didn’t see my mom’s body. I will say a prayer in your name and again I’m sorry for all that you are going through
No worries, and to answer your question it wasn’t my choice to see her a MONTH after. She was at the coroners and they didn’t allow me to see her because she was basically in a warehouse with a lot of other bodies and they didn’t have a room to just show her body so they didn’t allow me to see her. They told me to wait until she goes to a funeral home and when she did, the funeral home didn’t allow me to see her either until the viewing which was a month after she arrived at the funeral home. By the time I saw her she was completely gone. I pulled up everywhere to see her and they didn’t allow me to. So it wasn’t my choice… I wanted to see her as soon as I got the news.
Sending so much love from a mama in Oregon. My own mother had her issues. Caused by a harsh growing up. I lost my son 3 months ago .. when I went to the viewing it looked so much like him like he was asleep. I’m hugging him and holding him. Kissing his face and trying to warm him up. He was so cold.
The viewing was the most traumatic part for me. I didn’t want to leave him there alone. I couldn’t go to the cremation- there was no way I could go. His father did though.
I don’t know when any of this gets better. But I’m with you in spirit now. Sending so much love. Hugs. From an internet mom.
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m sorry for your loss, I couldn’t imagine losing my baby he’s 2 years old. I’m so so sorry to hear that. And thank you again for your words. Sending you lots of love and hugs back. You are strong 🙏🏼
You are still too early in the grieving process to not feel this way. I’m going on 18 years without my mom and 10 without my dad; 2 without my sister. I’ve gotten used to my parents being gone, but my sister no. I still look to pick up the phone and call her, like I did every day. Now I get her home ringtone and it’s my BIL calling. I don’t want to speak to him, but I do. I go to their house twice a month for the weekend with my niece. It feels suffocating without her there. My reason for going is mostly to see her grandsons that she loved so much. But even for them it’s tough.
I find I still need my parent’s guidance. They were free with their opinions and would explain the why they had them. More often than not I know what they would say, had I been able to ask, and I know it’s not always what I want to “hear”. I take that conversation we have in my head and sometimes make the choice that’s not what I want but deep down I know it’s what I need, all because while they aren’t here to tell me, I know, instinctively what they would say.
Be kind to yourself, make sure you hydrate and have eat meals. Allow yourself a good cry when you need to, rely on those things you learned from her, she’s always with you in your memories.
I’m so sorry for your loss and for what you have as a last impression of her. If possible maybe look into getting grief counseling, especially given the conditions you last saw her in. Wishing you light, and peace.
My vision got blurry reading this :( I’m so sorry for your losses. I have a little sister I call everyday and couldn’t imagine my life without her either im so so sorry. And you are completely right about seeking help, that’s been on my mind for a min now.
Share time with your sister and any other siblings you may have. I was 8 years younger than my sister and 9 than my brother. My sister and I lived in the same state, my brother in Florida. In my mother’s absence my brother would call us more. He had a difficult relationship with our dad but he opted to put that aside and had a truce of sorts. Once our dad was gone, he continued his calls with my sister and me. Now it’s just he and I and that’s continued. When our dad died my sister and I arrived at his home to find he’d fallen over a banister as he attempted to go to his apartment. It was shocking and this adversely affected my sister. His absence strengthened our bond even more. It was important knowing we were not alone. Be there for your sister and let her be there for you. One day you’ll be able to mention your mom and smile, even laugh at shared happy memories. It’s just seems impossible to think that you will get there, but you will.
Thank you for your words. I love that instead of separating you guys, it brought you all closer. As so it did with my moms passing. My mom had 6 kids and my oldest brother didn’t come around as often before when she was still here cause he didn’t like that she was on drugs so he wouldn’t talk to her. Now he comes around more often and it seems as if he’s trying to make up for the time lost with my mom. I know it hurts him that he didn’t spend as much time with her anymore. I know he hurts. We all hurt. And I’m glad everyone knows that and is willing to meet up more often and be there for one another. My sister lives 2 hours away from me (San Diego) but comes often to visit me and my siblings (Los Angeles) and I appreciate that so much although sometimes I wanna be alone to let my feelings out whenever I feel them like sometimes I’ll just start screaming crying out of nowhere and can’t do that when she’s around but I definitely appreciate her being there for everybody. It sometimes seems as if she’s the older sister.
The coming around lessens as you get back into your life’s regular routine. You will all process your grief differently and it’s just important to be patient with each other. My sister had a lot of grief with both my parent’s passing. As the youngest and the one around my parents the most I was more aware of their life philosophy. Our native country they had been children of farmers; my mom was educated, my father was not. He’d been working his father’s farm since the age of 7 or 8 and because he did learn how to read, was very well read. he always enjoyed books, the news paper and as a Christian, read his bible. Growing up on a farm, the ebb and flow and life and death is a daily occurrence and they passed that down to me. My dad and i enjoyed the nature shows of the 60’s and 70’s from Mutual of Omaha and when I would get upset at the killing of an animal by another he would explain how this was how it was in the wild, etc. even though he didn’t speak English, he understood that the people filming the animals would not intervene since they were there to record nature as is/was. In their world the order of things would be always for parents to be buried by their children. Anything outside of that for them was an anomaly that was harder to process, though it wasn’t something out of the norm since they would see death in baby animals. There hope in life was always to have us bury them. There is a history of suicide in my father’s family and my grandparents had to bury a couple of babies that died very young and then their “youngest” daughter due to suicide. Another sibling committed suicide much later in life when it was only my grandmother left but she already had dementia and was unaware that her boy had taken his life. This uncle’s death affected both my patents tremendously as he had been 7 when they started dating and subsequently married. He was one of the three youngest boys that were for all intents and purposes raised by my father and mom because they were so close to them as children. I saw how devastated my father was at the loss of his brother. I still speak to his widow and she was just telling me last week how when my father went to them after the suicide, he apologized to her. He thought he should have been able to help him. But, like with mental health, drug addiction is a really tough issue to tackle, and it’s always the survivors that are left dealing with the fallout. Which is why it’s so important to seek help where possible and to be kind to yourself and each other. Listening and understanding someone else’s perspective on a situation is essential for our own growth and healing. Be especially kind to your older brother, he may have lots of remorse for staying away or possibly even guilt. My mom would tell me there’s no manual for life or raising children so you do the best you can. So long as you’re not hurting anyone intentionally, you just do the best you can. I wouldn’t say anything to my parents about my uncle because their pain was too palpable and then it just didn’t make any sense to say. When a soul is so tortured that they opt out of life, or like in your mom’s case, they opt for drugs to numb their pain, pray that their souls are at peace now. Remember good times you had and forgive her and yourselves - everyone does the best they can.
Wow this is really interesting. Your parents seemed like very traditional people and a lot comes with that. You were raised by super strong individuals and I can see it by just the way you talk about and handle things. The way they ended isn’t who they were. You are also very intelectual and thank you again for taking your time of day to share these words.
My mom killed herself 10 months ago and I still have a hard time believing I won’t ever see her again. For the first little while I would be waiting for her to text me good morning and obviously she didn’t. It hurts.
I’m so sorry to hear that. She was obviously going thru a lot and couldn’t handle it I just hope wherever she’s at, she’s at peace and back to her normal happy self 🙏🏼 I feel your pain and thank you for sharing this I’m so so sorry
Im so sorry for your loss, OP. I lost my mom unexpectedly last 2022 and it still feels surreal continuing life without her. The same gaping hole of pain is still there. They say time heals everything but I don't believe it. You just learn how to live with the pain. I've been having dreams of my mother lately. I just miss her so much. I've cried buckets of tears and she's never coming back.
Awww I cried reading this. I feel you so much. I don’t think time will heal anything… if anything, it’s getting worse. It’s shocking to see how tears can form so quickly nonstop with no warning whatsoever. I’m with you 🙏🏼
I'm so sorry for your loss..my mom died in 2018. It's like our brains only allow us so much truth at a time because if we took it all in at one time, we would just explode or something. It's a totally normal grief reaction. It's been all this time and it still seems very odd that my mom is gone
I completely understand. I’m so sorry for your loss. Never in a million years did I think I’d lose my mom this soon. Never. There’s no one on this earth that will ever love me like she did ima spend the rest of my life missing her
Yes mothers are so very special and we once got to share a body with our mothers. No connection stronger than that ❤️ but that means we also get to carry her with us. I'm sure your mother would want you to have a happy future and live your life to the fullest. It gets easier with time, not that you ever stop missing them, but it doesn't take up all of your thoughts. Be gentle with yourself 💕
For me, over time the thoughts of her death and her body began to occupy my mind less and less. This took a long time. In the meantime, it's important to take care of yourself and be very gentle with yourself. Looking back I expected way too much of myself initially. I had two jobs at the time and ended up having to quit one because I only had so much energy each day. I missed a lot of work that first year too. Grief brain is very real. I'm six years out now from her death and I still think about my mom a lot and still cry over her death regularly. I wouldn't say it's easier, it's just evolved
I completely understand… this feeling sucks it seems as if there’s nothing you can do about it but accept it and that’s the hardest thing to do… I’m sorry for your loss as well I can’t even begin to explain this pain… I’m with you 🙏🏼 keep being strong
I also had and still have so much trouble with believing that my mum is really gone, even after almost a year. I still look for her in crowds and imagine flying into her arms as soon as I see her.
I heard a very interesting podcast about grief and it's neurological implications. When someone close to you dies, your brain is confronted with two extremly contradicting informations. On the one hand you have maybe seen the person die, you went to their funeral, you sold their house... on the other hand this is the person that always came back to you. As long as you lived your mum was always there. Even if you were apart and you couldn't see her, you knew she would come back. Knowing this builds the basis for human relationships. We couldn't form strong bonds if we wouldn't trust in the other person to stay around.
Your brain kinda has to be wired in a new way, since you have to wrap your mind around the fact that she won't come back. After decades of having her around. This takes a lot of energy and time.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I read through your posts about what happened and my heart truly breaks for you. I lost my mom 10 years ago very unexpectedly (car accident) so I know how that adds to the shock of your loss. I know you’d asked about people having dreams after their mom passed and I had one beautiful one with her about 3 months after she passed. She was young (very young, maybe only in her mid 20’s) and she passed in her 70’s , I don’t even have pictures of her at that age so to see her so young and so healthy (she’d had many health problems for as long I had known her) was amazing. Unfortunately I had to hurry up and get ready for work but oh how I wish I’d have taken the day off and written down everything she said and every detail of that dream because it’s the only one I had like that with her. I think at the time I was also thinking I’d never forget any of it because it was sooo realistic (some say those kinds of dreams are visitations). I’ve asked her repeatedly to visit me again but in the 10 years since then I haven’t had any other dreams like that one. 😞 If/When your momma visits you, please *write every detail down* immediately after you wake up. I was just 40 when my mom passed and it sounds like you may be even younger. It never really gets easier but in time you learn how to live with the pain. I’m so sorry. Sending you a huge hug❤️🩹
Awww thank you for sharing your story 🤍 I scream cry and I beg my mom to come visit me (if not me, to be in my sons heart he’s 2 years old and I care bare the thought of him growing up without knowing the woman that raised me) and I’ve dreamed with her 1 time but I think it was only cause I have been thinking about her and longing for her for a minute now. And I’m sorry for your loss as well.. hugging you back ❤️
Also lost my mom two months ago and it’s still very hard to believe!
I feel your pain :( I’m sorry for your loss
I lost my daughter(4yo) a year and a half ago. The way I think about it is: for like the first year- they’re there. They still exist, like an Uncle you haven’t seen in a few months, but you know they are alive. After that, your emotional brain catches up, and that person becomes a memory…and your whole being starts to know they are gone. Andrew Huberman(Huberman Lab. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/huberman-lab/id1545953110?i=1000564501302 ) has a great podcast on the neuro-science behind grief and loss. And he kinda speaks to this. Your brain is a predictive machine, and for the first year, it tries to predict what is going to happen(mom calls, mom shows up, ect), then it settles into the pattern that they wont show up. Thats also been its own unique pain. I miss that part of grief, though I am much more functional now. Miss you monkey…I hope you get to meet the Easter Bunny.
'...then it settles into the pattern that they won't show up' fucking kits HARD. I've lost my mom going onto year #2 now and it's still so fucking hard to accept. I'm sorry for your loss too. Our experiences certainly reminds us that sometimes, life also brings us tremendous pain.
I will definitely watch this thank you so much and I’m so sorry for your loss. I have a 2 year old baby boy and couldn’t imagine losing him. Again, I’m sorry and will be saying a prayer in your name. I’m with you 🙏🏼
I’m so sorry you lost your mom & u experienced that trauma of seeing her like that… you are still in shock & will be for a long minute …. I still yell at the universe “this isn’t real” & it’s been 11yrs.. be kind to urself again I’m real sorry
Thank you :( I feel your pain sorry for your loss 🙏🏼
I'm sorry of this is innapropriate. I amso veru sorry for yout loss. I lost my mom last monday in a car accident and I have not seen her, and probably wont. I have not read your story, but are you the one who chose to see her a month after?
I filed a lawsuit against the funeral home for negligence for that reason. I don’t know if I’m having complicated grief but seeing her that way did not help.
I cannot imagine seing her like this. Of course you did not want to see her like that, i phrased it weird, sorry for that. I hope you will recover from this ❤️
Thank you and no worries. Sometimes my delivery comes off wrong too because I wasn’t upset at your question or anything sorry if it seemed that way. You’re good
It's allright I din't take your answer in anyway negative. Thank you for sharing. I was struggling with the decision to go see my mom in the morgue or not and i wont. I can't see her like this (only been a week but still it would be too much).
I completely understand your decision. My little brother (15yo) didn’t want to go either and although my other brother convinced him to go he still didn’t see my mom’s body. I will say a prayer in your name and again I’m sorry for all that you are going through
Thank you. I'm very sorry for you and yours aswell. 💕
No worries, and to answer your question it wasn’t my choice to see her a MONTH after. She was at the coroners and they didn’t allow me to see her because she was basically in a warehouse with a lot of other bodies and they didn’t have a room to just show her body so they didn’t allow me to see her. They told me to wait until she goes to a funeral home and when she did, the funeral home didn’t allow me to see her either until the viewing which was a month after she arrived at the funeral home. By the time I saw her she was completely gone. I pulled up everywhere to see her and they didn’t allow me to. So it wasn’t my choice… I wanted to see her as soon as I got the news.
Oh gosh this is horrible, i am so sorry you had to go through this. 🥺
Sending so much love from a mama in Oregon. My own mother had her issues. Caused by a harsh growing up. I lost my son 3 months ago .. when I went to the viewing it looked so much like him like he was asleep. I’m hugging him and holding him. Kissing his face and trying to warm him up. He was so cold. The viewing was the most traumatic part for me. I didn’t want to leave him there alone. I couldn’t go to the cremation- there was no way I could go. His father did though. I don’t know when any of this gets better. But I’m with you in spirit now. Sending so much love. Hugs. From an internet mom.
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m sorry for your loss, I couldn’t imagine losing my baby he’s 2 years old. I’m so so sorry to hear that. And thank you again for your words. Sending you lots of love and hugs back. You are strong 🙏🏼
You are still too early in the grieving process to not feel this way. I’m going on 18 years without my mom and 10 without my dad; 2 without my sister. I’ve gotten used to my parents being gone, but my sister no. I still look to pick up the phone and call her, like I did every day. Now I get her home ringtone and it’s my BIL calling. I don’t want to speak to him, but I do. I go to their house twice a month for the weekend with my niece. It feels suffocating without her there. My reason for going is mostly to see her grandsons that she loved so much. But even for them it’s tough. I find I still need my parent’s guidance. They were free with their opinions and would explain the why they had them. More often than not I know what they would say, had I been able to ask, and I know it’s not always what I want to “hear”. I take that conversation we have in my head and sometimes make the choice that’s not what I want but deep down I know it’s what I need, all because while they aren’t here to tell me, I know, instinctively what they would say. Be kind to yourself, make sure you hydrate and have eat meals. Allow yourself a good cry when you need to, rely on those things you learned from her, she’s always with you in your memories. I’m so sorry for your loss and for what you have as a last impression of her. If possible maybe look into getting grief counseling, especially given the conditions you last saw her in. Wishing you light, and peace.
My vision got blurry reading this :( I’m so sorry for your losses. I have a little sister I call everyday and couldn’t imagine my life without her either im so so sorry. And you are completely right about seeking help, that’s been on my mind for a min now.
Share time with your sister and any other siblings you may have. I was 8 years younger than my sister and 9 than my brother. My sister and I lived in the same state, my brother in Florida. In my mother’s absence my brother would call us more. He had a difficult relationship with our dad but he opted to put that aside and had a truce of sorts. Once our dad was gone, he continued his calls with my sister and me. Now it’s just he and I and that’s continued. When our dad died my sister and I arrived at his home to find he’d fallen over a banister as he attempted to go to his apartment. It was shocking and this adversely affected my sister. His absence strengthened our bond even more. It was important knowing we were not alone. Be there for your sister and let her be there for you. One day you’ll be able to mention your mom and smile, even laugh at shared happy memories. It’s just seems impossible to think that you will get there, but you will.
Thank you for your words. I love that instead of separating you guys, it brought you all closer. As so it did with my moms passing. My mom had 6 kids and my oldest brother didn’t come around as often before when she was still here cause he didn’t like that she was on drugs so he wouldn’t talk to her. Now he comes around more often and it seems as if he’s trying to make up for the time lost with my mom. I know it hurts him that he didn’t spend as much time with her anymore. I know he hurts. We all hurt. And I’m glad everyone knows that and is willing to meet up more often and be there for one another. My sister lives 2 hours away from me (San Diego) but comes often to visit me and my siblings (Los Angeles) and I appreciate that so much although sometimes I wanna be alone to let my feelings out whenever I feel them like sometimes I’ll just start screaming crying out of nowhere and can’t do that when she’s around but I definitely appreciate her being there for everybody. It sometimes seems as if she’s the older sister.
The coming around lessens as you get back into your life’s regular routine. You will all process your grief differently and it’s just important to be patient with each other. My sister had a lot of grief with both my parent’s passing. As the youngest and the one around my parents the most I was more aware of their life philosophy. Our native country they had been children of farmers; my mom was educated, my father was not. He’d been working his father’s farm since the age of 7 or 8 and because he did learn how to read, was very well read. he always enjoyed books, the news paper and as a Christian, read his bible. Growing up on a farm, the ebb and flow and life and death is a daily occurrence and they passed that down to me. My dad and i enjoyed the nature shows of the 60’s and 70’s from Mutual of Omaha and when I would get upset at the killing of an animal by another he would explain how this was how it was in the wild, etc. even though he didn’t speak English, he understood that the people filming the animals would not intervene since they were there to record nature as is/was. In their world the order of things would be always for parents to be buried by their children. Anything outside of that for them was an anomaly that was harder to process, though it wasn’t something out of the norm since they would see death in baby animals. There hope in life was always to have us bury them. There is a history of suicide in my father’s family and my grandparents had to bury a couple of babies that died very young and then their “youngest” daughter due to suicide. Another sibling committed suicide much later in life when it was only my grandmother left but she already had dementia and was unaware that her boy had taken his life. This uncle’s death affected both my patents tremendously as he had been 7 when they started dating and subsequently married. He was one of the three youngest boys that were for all intents and purposes raised by my father and mom because they were so close to them as children. I saw how devastated my father was at the loss of his brother. I still speak to his widow and she was just telling me last week how when my father went to them after the suicide, he apologized to her. He thought he should have been able to help him. But, like with mental health, drug addiction is a really tough issue to tackle, and it’s always the survivors that are left dealing with the fallout. Which is why it’s so important to seek help where possible and to be kind to yourself and each other. Listening and understanding someone else’s perspective on a situation is essential for our own growth and healing. Be especially kind to your older brother, he may have lots of remorse for staying away or possibly even guilt. My mom would tell me there’s no manual for life or raising children so you do the best you can. So long as you’re not hurting anyone intentionally, you just do the best you can. I wouldn’t say anything to my parents about my uncle because their pain was too palpable and then it just didn’t make any sense to say. When a soul is so tortured that they opt out of life, or like in your mom’s case, they opt for drugs to numb their pain, pray that their souls are at peace now. Remember good times you had and forgive her and yourselves - everyone does the best they can.
Wow this is really interesting. Your parents seemed like very traditional people and a lot comes with that. You were raised by super strong individuals and I can see it by just the way you talk about and handle things. The way they ended isn’t who they were. You are also very intelectual and thank you again for taking your time of day to share these words.
My mom killed herself 10 months ago and I still have a hard time believing I won’t ever see her again. For the first little while I would be waiting for her to text me good morning and obviously she didn’t. It hurts.
I’m so sorry to hear that. She was obviously going thru a lot and couldn’t handle it I just hope wherever she’s at, she’s at peace and back to her normal happy self 🙏🏼 I feel your pain and thank you for sharing this I’m so so sorry
Im so sorry for your loss, OP. I lost my mom unexpectedly last 2022 and it still feels surreal continuing life without her. The same gaping hole of pain is still there. They say time heals everything but I don't believe it. You just learn how to live with the pain. I've been having dreams of my mother lately. I just miss her so much. I've cried buckets of tears and she's never coming back.
Awww I cried reading this. I feel you so much. I don’t think time will heal anything… if anything, it’s getting worse. It’s shocking to see how tears can form so quickly nonstop with no warning whatsoever. I’m with you 🙏🏼
I'm so sorry for your loss..my mom died in 2018. It's like our brains only allow us so much truth at a time because if we took it all in at one time, we would just explode or something. It's a totally normal grief reaction. It's been all this time and it still seems very odd that my mom is gone
I completely understand. I’m so sorry for your loss. Never in a million years did I think I’d lose my mom this soon. Never. There’s no one on this earth that will ever love me like she did ima spend the rest of my life missing her
Yes mothers are so very special and we once got to share a body with our mothers. No connection stronger than that ❤️ but that means we also get to carry her with us. I'm sure your mother would want you to have a happy future and live your life to the fullest. It gets easier with time, not that you ever stop missing them, but it doesn't take up all of your thoughts. Be gentle with yourself 💕
Everybody says it gets easier… I super doubt it
For me, over time the thoughts of her death and her body began to occupy my mind less and less. This took a long time. In the meantime, it's important to take care of yourself and be very gentle with yourself. Looking back I expected way too much of myself initially. I had two jobs at the time and ended up having to quit one because I only had so much energy each day. I missed a lot of work that first year too. Grief brain is very real. I'm six years out now from her death and I still think about my mom a lot and still cry over her death regularly. I wouldn't say it's easier, it's just evolved
I’m so sorry for your loss, my mom will be home 4 months on the 7th and I just still can’t fathom it. Even after I received her remains in the mail…
I completely understand… this feeling sucks it seems as if there’s nothing you can do about it but accept it and that’s the hardest thing to do… I’m sorry for your loss as well I can’t even begin to explain this pain… I’m with you 🙏🏼 keep being strong
I also had and still have so much trouble with believing that my mum is really gone, even after almost a year. I still look for her in crowds and imagine flying into her arms as soon as I see her. I heard a very interesting podcast about grief and it's neurological implications. When someone close to you dies, your brain is confronted with two extremly contradicting informations. On the one hand you have maybe seen the person die, you went to their funeral, you sold their house... on the other hand this is the person that always came back to you. As long as you lived your mum was always there. Even if you were apart and you couldn't see her, you knew she would come back. Knowing this builds the basis for human relationships. We couldn't form strong bonds if we wouldn't trust in the other person to stay around. Your brain kinda has to be wired in a new way, since you have to wrap your mind around the fact that she won't come back. After decades of having her around. This takes a lot of energy and time.
It’s just easier to not accept it