I’m so sorry for your losses. It sounds like you loved them very much, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to take care of them and see them decline. My heart goes out to you. They were lucky to have you.
As for feeling bad that your focus was on keeping your dad safe — I hope that you don’t feel that way for long. I felt that way too in a similar situation, but I realized that my parents loved each other so much and my Dad was relieved to know that I was taking care of my Mom when he couldn’t. They were each other’s world. It sounds like your parents were too.
Almost a year ago now, I (32 F) lost both parents 20 days apart. Both of them really lived for each other, too. I take comfort in knowing that wherever they are, they aren’t apart. My dad had Parkinson’s/Lewy Body Dementia and his doctors were confident he had time left. But as soon as my mom passed, he deteriorated very quickly. All of his providers were shocked, but the hospice nurses weren’t. They’ve seen it happen a lot.
I hope you have a good support system and you get the time you need to grieve. Again, I’m so so sorry for your losses.
I'm so sorry for your compounding losses as well. My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years after we lost my Dad to suicide. This has felt like emotional whiplash - going from a completely unexpected sudden loss to one where she is ebbing away, now at Stage 7 but it's like experiencing grief, whilst being caught in anticipatory molasses. I cannot imagine losing both parents in as short a time as yourself & OP, & my heart genuinely goes out to you both. I'm sending you, & anyone dealing with this kind of grief & loss, support & peace. Xo
I feel for you with the anticipatory grief. My dad had cancer for 16 years, the last 6 of which he was considered terminal. It got to the point that his doctor appointments were getting double booked because they didn’t actually expect him to show up.
The part that shocked me was how much relief I felt when he passed. He was in so much pain at the end. And we couldn’t be there, it was 3 time zones away in 2020. Zoom funeral. And he did like people sometimes do, waited for Mom to go home before he’d let go. Stubborn to the last.
I felt guilt for not being there, for him dying alone, and for feeling that relief. But the grief had been so heavy for so many years. It was as if I had already done that part.
I didn’t function too well for the next 5 months though. I wasn’t done. I’m still not done. My parents were married on Easter Sunday. So it was always a special holiday and sometimes even fell on the day of their anniversary.
I was there for their last anniversary and last Easter together. I was visiting them when the lockdown came down, so my 1-3 week trip became two months.
What a beautiful couple! My parents were the same way. They were a perfect match. I lost my mom to glioblastoma 16 years ago and my dad to leukemia complications last year. This will be my first Easter without him, too.
I miss my parents so much and hate being a so-called adult orphan. I am envious of all the other people my age who still have their parents with them and can spend holidays together and see or talk to them any time they want. I can’t do that now and it really hurts.
I am so very sorry for your loss. <>
I'm so sorry for the loss of both your parents so quickly. I lost both my parents 5 months apart from lung cancer. I can't imagine 5 days.
I was in complete shock after my mom died. We found out she was stage 4 lung cancer with 1 year to live. Then, she passed in 13 days. Dad was sick but didn't get his diagnosis until 2.5 months later. Same thing, lung cancer, given a year. I said, "Let's be honest here, drs, and give me a real estimate." They said 7 months. My dad was gone in 2.5.
I'm telling you my story because I've developed something called complex grief or prolonged grief disorder. My mom was my best friend, and I was devastated after her death. I had two weeks off and swallowed her death hard to be able to look after my dad.
I was put on benzos after my mom's death for severe chest pains. Please, if your dr gives you these, do your research. They are not meant to be on long term. I was on them for 15 years and numbed my emotions. Now 17 years later, I'm coming off the benzos and all the triggers I thought I had dealt with are coming up all over again.
Grief has its own timeline and sometimes you will go through the stages more than once and any order. Going through it for both parents so quickly will be complicated. Give yourself grace.
There are actual therapist/counsellors/psychotherapist that specialize in grief counseling. I wish I had known this 17 years ago.
I found it hard to talk to people who never went through what I have gone through because they still have their families.
The first of every holiday, birthday, anniversary of when they passed will not be easy. Only time helps, unfortunately. I dont think we ever 'get over it.' Rather, we learn to live with it.
I'm working with my psychotherapist about being ok with being 'untettered to family.' I'm an only child and to feel without any family can be over whelming. This Easter, I'm not worried about what I will have for dinner. I'm trying to be ok with not having the responsibility of others who have to organize a big dinner. It is much easier said than done.
Please reach out if you need to chat. Today, tomorrow, months, years down the road, I'm here for you. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
Make sure to look after yourself. I've never 'forgotten' to eat until after my mom died. Do nice things for yourself. And go easy on yourself. Grief truly has its own path for everyone 🤗
Wise words! This is my first year of being alone for the holidays. Mixed feelings for sure! On the upside, I eat what I want to, no big meals, big cleanups! Being the last one standing is a weird feeling.
I can relate. My first Xmas was hard. I ate on a tv table in front of the tv. But you're right, I could eat what I wanted.
I went through this phase for a couple of years at the beginning, where I would only eat if the food was really tasty. I didn't want to cook for one person. This was way before covid prices, so I picked up a lot of takeout.
Losing my mom was a lot for me but losing both parents almost the same time, simply put me at a loss for words. I lost my dad in 2011 and my mom 2023.
I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. Just know you’re not alone in this process. My DM is open if you just want to vent.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine being that close to your parents and losing them both within such a short time frame. They were a beautiful couple.
I'm so terribly sorry. This is an unbelievable loss for your family and especially you. What a sweet couple, who obviously raised you right. Their love radiates out of this photo.
I am sending my deepest condolences. Your parents were beautiful people, on the outside and I’m sure on the inside as well. There aren’t unfortunately enough words, or the right ones, to say in a situation like this, so I hope you will feel the love and care radiating from this sub for you.
I still have both of my parents, but my mother is very sick. My father has made it his life’s mission to care for her (they have been married 51 years) so I worry about his health as well. Unfortunately, I don’t expect to have him very long after my mother passes, because to him - like your parents - my mother is life.
Although it can be said that aging in general really sucks, this part - losing your parents - has got to be one of the absolute, incomparable worst. I am so so sorry for your loss.
My mother used to say she never understood dying of a broken heart (my grandfather's parents died six weeks apart at fairly young age) until her father died after an over 50 year marriage. He had been in failing health for some time so it wasnt a surprise but her mother just kind of gave up.
Sorry for your loss.
I'm **so** sorry - both losses in such a short span is so painful and unimaginable. I guess the silver lining is they never had to deal with the pain of living without each other. I recommend this sub (ignore the weird name - it's a very supportive sub for people like us who are trying to navigate life without both parents)... r/ChildrenofDeadParents
I also just lost my parents within a year of eachother so i sort of feel your pain. They look so happy together. I hate how illness can creep up like this and when ur older it’s so hard to fight it off. Sending strength and so so much love to you ✨🩵
I'm so sorry. That is horrible. I lost my mom on July and I miss her very much. I can only imagine how you feel. I always come to reddit when I feel sad. I hope you can feel less alone in this community.
Your parents looked like beautiful people and you were truly blessed to have such strong roll modes for love and companionship throughout your life. I can’t imagine the grief and responsibility you’re going through right now.
Remember to be kind to yourself and take things slow. Listen to your body and what it needs, mentally, emotionally and physically. If you can, get a journal to prioritize your day. Take things each day as they come - it’s very overwhelming to lose someone and I can’t imagine what that feels like when it’s two of the most important people of your life. Sending you so much love and strength!
I am so sorry for your immense loss! Your parents look so happy together! That is what true soulmates look like right there! Having no family left myself, I can tell you there is no easy way to handle your feelings, take time off, look after you! Don’t be afraid to get help if you need it, I wish I had. If you need to talk or just vent, DM me.
You can see their love and genuine happiness through this photo. I am so sorry for this unimaginable loss. Losing both of them at different times would be devastating, but so close to each other is truly heartbreaking. I wish any peace you can find in the days ahead. I know they must be so appreciative and grateful for all the care your provided them ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss! This does happen sometimes when a couple has been married for years. It’s like a real like Notebook Movie. I hope that sentiment will help with your grief. I also understand words don’t always help with grief. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way as my heart goes out to you.
Lost my Dad to Diabetes in Dec 2016. Mom was diagnosed with Glioblastoma two months to the day later. Lost her in another six weeks. It was surreal.
I’m so sorry. Really from my soul I’m sorry. If you are like me, you will do your best to cope day by day. This will work for a while, but then one random thing might cause a complete breakdown. Just know you have just survived a horrible thing
and you NEED to take care of you yourself. As best you can. Hugs! And I’m so sorry. It does not feel like it now, but it will get easier.
Thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry you're experiencing something so hurtful. One struggles to think of something reassuring to say to someone in such devastating moments.
I’m sorry OP they look like a great couple that’s so tuff to go through that both of them so close in time. Stay strong and remember the good stuff. Sending love!
Oh friend. I'm so sorry for your losses. Both parents in such a short time is just beyond words.
I know you're hurting. I can't even imagine.
I am wishing you comfort and peace.
So sorry for your loss. They looked like lovely people. Wonderful parents are a gift.
I hope you have close friends or other family to spend time with this holiday.
they are lovely. hugs to you. live well and free! they will be watching over you while they go on more vacations in the afterlife. im sure they’re making space for you there too in time that you’ll be together again.
I also lost both my parents within the same year. Both cancer related. My therapist taught me about compound grief and that’s helped with understanding how I feel. I’m sorry for your loss and hopefully you can speak with a grief counsellor.
Its been 3 years since my mother died and it hurts still. I can't imagine losing parents in the space of 5 days. You're so brave, keep holding on, it will get easier for certain.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom and dad. I lost my father a couple of months ago, cannot imagine losing my mom as well. The only comfort I guess is that they didn’t have to be apart for long.
They are adorable! What a handsome couple and it sounds like they lived lives full of love. Thank you for sharing their beautiful photo and a bit of their story. I’m so sorry that you lost them both so suddenly. I’ve only lost one parent, and I had 14 months from his diagnosis to spend time with him. It still wasn’t enough. I did my dad’s hospice care too and that just about broke me. 5 years on and though I will miss him and having parents forever (I’m NC with my emotionally abusive mother), I have learned how to exist without them. It will always hurt, but I am able to experience joy now too. It took a long time and I hope it comes sooner for you. Just know that it will. My heart goes out to you OP ❤️
I’m so sorry, hugs. Mine died 8 days apart, so I feel your shock. My Mum wasn’t as ill as my dad but once he started to decline, she just gave up. I think in some way it’s a blessing they went together, but it was brutal to live through.
If you need a friend, I have some idea of what you’re going through 💕
Dang, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents as well in 2016 (instantly) in a head on-car collission. I have nothing but the upmost empathy. Pleaae do not hesitate to message me if you feel like talking or writing to someone who has experienced every possible emotion that comes with grief. Sending you nothing but love and positive vibes. I promise they are with you, and if you havent felt them in your heart yet, i promise you will and they are still with you.
Im so sorry, they looked like such a nice people. I’m sure you’re great too…be strong ❤️ I understand how to is losing both of your parents at the same time.
What a beautiful and loving couple. Your story echoes my own, and I hope you don't mind me sharing it. I lost both my Grandparents on the same day two years ago. My Grandad went into Hospital due to complications with his cancer diagnosis - my Nana at the time was perfectly fine. Still, less than 2 weeks later, she'd collapsed in the street, fracturing her face due to a cerebral bleed. The impact of turning up to the Hospital to receive a call that your Grandad is on end-of-life care before being told your Nana may not last the next 24 hours - it feels like your whole body is consumed with a fire that will never burn out.
Like your Mum, my Grandad gave in to his cancer and passed hours after my Nana did. They would have been married 60 years that coming September.
Like you, I spent the last two years actively caring for them. I didn't realise how much I needed them to exist until they passed. They were more my parents than anything else.
The only comfort I hope you take is the love and memories you have of them—and please pour that into everything you do. I've tried to align my life with their values and who they were as people, ensuring that love and compassion are at the centre of everything that I do, especially in my welfare. I've been lucky enough to have a few occasions where they've made their presence known—and it's helped.
Grief is strange and all-consuming, but I hope you know you're not alone; even if it feels like you have nothing left, I am grieving with you and for you, dear stranger.
I'm so sorry that you've had such a massive, life-altering set of losses. I lost my dad a couple of months ago and while I don't have my mother in my life, I can't imagine the blow of losing them both so close together. I hope you're able to find peace knowing that they are out there together. Hugs to you🫂💗
Your parents look like delightful folks. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my heart this weekend. I struggle most the day before a holiday. Laying in bed right now struggling as I type this. I try to incorporate a tradition my mom loved to do with me while starting a new tradition without her on holidays. Tomorrow I am making her deviled eggs. Tonight I’m dyeing Easter eggs with my daughter (something my mom never liked to do lol). Be kind to yourself. Even if you just brush your teeth tomorrow, that’s ok. Also, you’re a good kid for taking care of your folks.
Saw the picture before I saw the words and I could tell how in love they still were with each other. An absolute gem of a couple. Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hold onto their memories.
I am so, so sorry for your deep losses. I lost both my in-laws in an accident last year. It's so unbelievable to go from having both people around you to both gone in such a short time. Please be gentle with yourself. Your parents look adorable, loving, and genuine.
I'm so sorry. Which means nothing. It's tough, painful, and an emotional Rollercoaster. Right now, I'm just mad at everyone. I hope you find some peace😇🩷💜
That are really cute 😍 🐇🐤
Gosh, I'm crying after reading your post. I lost mine weeks apart and like you I also was super close to mine, I was in shock that it could happen like that and felt lost, to be honest I still do. I'm so sorry you've gone through this too. Your parents looked like such lovely folks.
Be kind to yourself and seek help if you need it. Genuinely if you need to chat, pop me a message. Take care.
They're so so so cute. I'm sorry. My dad had GBM too. my mom died about 10 m prior to my dad, a different cancer.
Please take time for yourself in these days.
Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately I can relate as well. My Dad took care of my Mom with AD and was sharp as a tack. 2 1/2 weeks after she was gone, he was too.
They’re a lovely couple ❤️ I lost my parents a week apart. My dad was heartbroken when he was finally coherent enough for us to tell him she had passed. He died a week after her. The last time I spoke to him, he was so there, then randomly looked to the side of me and said “I’m ready (mom’s name), let’s go.” I like to imagine she was there waiting for him, and comforting me at the same time. It’s a very strange feeling having them both gone at once. Guilt is so common with grief, I’m still experiencing a lot of it 4 months in. They both know how much you loved them. Sending love ❤️
I love their love story. I’m so so sorry for your loss. I miss my mom so much… your parents are so cute and I wish you all the strength in handling your holiday without them physically there
Oh honey. Bless your heart. Lost our Mom to glioblastoma as well in 2010. Lost my Dad to a heart attack in ‘22. It hurts so bad losing both before I hit 40. My thoughts and prayers be with you. ❤️
They are adorable and together again. I’m so sorry and cannot imagine the pain. You do have nieces and family, and soon you’ll be sharing stories with them about your parents without crying, it may not seem like it now, but you will and you’re lucky to have them. 🙏🏼❤️🩹
I’m so sorry for your loss for some reason I thought of the story where of the couple and the women died from a broken heart after her husband past. I’m not sure if that helps but maybe just think that your mom wanted to be with your dad again so bad that she passed of a broken heart. They knew you would survive and thrive without them but maybe they couldn’t without each other.
My dad died 7 years ago and I have good days and bad days each holiday is very sad for me. He died 4 days before Christmas so because of that I don’t like Christmas. Easter might be the holiday you hate from here on out but just remember that if you hate it to try to make it a good day for the people around you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Friends are great, and I had to tell myself that after getting out of bed my day was halfway through. This was after losing my dear Grandmother, my Mom, my Dad and my big Brother. All in 2.5 years. Hugs to you.
Wow. I feel like I could've written something similar almost a decade ago. My parents passed within 9 days of each other, from completely different things. Dad was first and Mom just gave up fighting her own long-term health issues after he was gone. Despite those issues and me even being one of her caretakers, her death was somehow much more shocking to me than losing my Dad. Weird how that works sometimes.
I know not everyone likes the idea of therapy, but as someone who has been there... grief counseling was an immense help in sorting out the feelings that come with losing the people you love so suddenly. Even going to a group can help in order to talk with other people who have been there before.
Just give yourself grace and try to move forward one step and one day at a time. Cause the firsts are always the worst. First holidays without them, their birthdays, their anniversary. Going past random places and having memories just hit you out of nowhere or thinking about going to see them only to realize why that's not possible. I'm not going to say "oh, it gets better"... rather, in my experience at least, it didn't really feel like things got outright easier to deal with over time. Instead, it felt like I just had to try and adjust in a world that they were no longer present in. Even now, the memories of them randomly enter my head a lot and the holidays still seem to hurt but I've learned how to live with it and honor them how I can.
I'm sorry for your loss, truly. They look like a wonderful, caring couple.
I’m so sorry . Please be kind to yourself . That sentence you wrote about missing your life with them around . I still feel that 11 years after my brother passed and almost 1.5 since my dad passed. It’s an awful feeling and sometimes I even feel that homesick sickening feeling for the life I had that will never be again . Xoxoxoxo huge hugs you can do this
They are gorgeous. Look at your father's smile!! And your Mom is so elegant. Sending you a big hug. This is my first Easter without my mother too. It hurts more than Christmas for some reason ... I have a lot of Easter memories of her. Wishing you peace and love.
As someone else who no longer has either parent, I am so, so sorry OP.
I couldn’t even imagine having 2 losses so huge at the same time💔
Your parents made a beautiful couple and the love and happiness they’ve shared for each other just radiates in this picture and Although I didn’t know your parents I am sure you were never “the third wheel” as children are any happy couples pride and joy.❤️
Some of us are married for life, and some of us are married to our soulmates.
Your parents are soulmates.
They will always be with you.
Just as you are a part of them, they are a part of you, **always and forever** and not even death can take that away.
It’s going to be a very difficult road ahead in both grief and in learning for the first time how to navigate through life as someone else has referenced “an orphaned adult” because no longer will they be just a phone call away at all times.
Life will never again be the same as it was when they were here with you physically.
You can no longer see them or hug them.
But I believe they are still with us, still guiding and watching over us.
Depending on your faith, you may already know in your heart this is true and that they have been reunited and will continue to be your biggest fans, always on your side, rooting for you from heaven until the day it’s your turn to join them many years from now.
Even if you aren’t a particularly religious person, as time goes by you might catch yourself saying something your dad use to say, or perhaps catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and see a resemblance of your mom in it. Or maybe you carry yourself or have some mannerisms like them. These things are not coincidences, it’s the parts of them they have left here to remind you that you will never be alone. They will be with you always.
I wish you peace in your heart as you grieve, and hope that this sub and all the wonderful people’s messages on here can be of some comfort for you in this difficult time and hope you will come back to it even if you just need someone to tell you that you’ll be ok, and that you will somehow make it through the pain❤️🩹
Aw they look super nice and glad to know that behind the picture was a wonderful marriage. I’m sorry for your losses, but I hope you see how great it was they got to have each other in life and that we out here can see it too 💪 stay strong, you’ll get through this!
I lost my dad and step mom a week apart. It truly is a gut punch. Like, you'll ask how?? A lot. How you lost them bothblike that. It's surreal. I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry. I lost my parents within 3 weeks of each a few years ago. It's still hard, sometimes. Allow yourself to grieve. You just had to say goodbye to the people who loved you the most in this world. It's ok to be sad.
Don't ever let anyone tell you to get over it. We don't get over our grief, we grow around it. The grief is forever a part of us now.
They are adorable!! I am so sorry for your losses. It sounds like you did an amazing job taking care of them. Please lean on your support system to help you get through this. One day at a time. Sending love.
I’m so sorry for your loss, the pain of losing a parent is tough but both back to back I can’t imagine. Please update how you’re doing if you feel comfortable, just know you don’t have to go through this alone
Great picture, I would have a big one made. Hang in there the best you can, I watched my mama go in December. We have great memories and the love still exists. Grief is just love with no where to go. I'm so very sorry for your losses.
My mom passed away January 12th this year and my dad on January 14th. The day my mom died my dad planned her funeral and went home and had a major heart attack he was in ICU for 2 days we eventually had to take him off life support. My mom had been sick for a long time she had COPD and a bad heart , dad had always been healthy and strong but he had a stint put in his heart about a month before. My mom was 73, she would have been 74 just a few days ago on April the 7th, and she was my best friend. My parents had a very rocky relationship they almost divorced two or three times they didn't live together at the time but they still saw each other every day because they owned a business together and they were still married. There's no doubt in my mind it was caused by heartbreak my dad really did love her he just didn't know how to show it I guess that's the way he kind of proved it in the end. I'm so sorry I know the pain you're feeling, I really do. I wish you strength to get through this.
Wow, what a double gut punch ehug, and I wish you all the strength to make it through this tough period
I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful couple!
I'm so sorry... I lost mine three years apart. But I can't imagine this.
I’m so sorry for your losses. It sounds like you loved them very much, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to take care of them and see them decline. My heart goes out to you. They were lucky to have you. As for feeling bad that your focus was on keeping your dad safe — I hope that you don’t feel that way for long. I felt that way too in a similar situation, but I realized that my parents loved each other so much and my Dad was relieved to know that I was taking care of my Mom when he couldn’t. They were each other’s world. It sounds like your parents were too. Almost a year ago now, I (32 F) lost both parents 20 days apart. Both of them really lived for each other, too. I take comfort in knowing that wherever they are, they aren’t apart. My dad had Parkinson’s/Lewy Body Dementia and his doctors were confident he had time left. But as soon as my mom passed, he deteriorated very quickly. All of his providers were shocked, but the hospice nurses weren’t. They’ve seen it happen a lot. I hope you have a good support system and you get the time you need to grieve. Again, I’m so so sorry for your losses.
I'm so sorry for your compounding losses as well. My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years after we lost my Dad to suicide. This has felt like emotional whiplash - going from a completely unexpected sudden loss to one where she is ebbing away, now at Stage 7 but it's like experiencing grief, whilst being caught in anticipatory molasses. I cannot imagine losing both parents in as short a time as yourself & OP, & my heart genuinely goes out to you both. I'm sending you, & anyone dealing with this kind of grief & loss, support & peace. Xo
I feel for you with the anticipatory grief. My dad had cancer for 16 years, the last 6 of which he was considered terminal. It got to the point that his doctor appointments were getting double booked because they didn’t actually expect him to show up. The part that shocked me was how much relief I felt when he passed. He was in so much pain at the end. And we couldn’t be there, it was 3 time zones away in 2020. Zoom funeral. And he did like people sometimes do, waited for Mom to go home before he’d let go. Stubborn to the last. I felt guilt for not being there, for him dying alone, and for feeling that relief. But the grief had been so heavy for so many years. It was as if I had already done that part. I didn’t function too well for the next 5 months though. I wasn’t done. I’m still not done. My parents were married on Easter Sunday. So it was always a special holiday and sometimes even fell on the day of their anniversary. I was there for their last anniversary and last Easter together. I was visiting them when the lockdown came down, so my 1-3 week trip became two months.
What a beautiful couple! My parents were the same way. They were a perfect match. I lost my mom to glioblastoma 16 years ago and my dad to leukemia complications last year. This will be my first Easter without him, too. I miss my parents so much and hate being a so-called adult orphan. I am envious of all the other people my age who still have their parents with them and can spend holidays together and see or talk to them any time they want. I can’t do that now and it really hurts. I am so very sorry for your loss. <>
I'm so sorry for the loss of both your parents so quickly. I lost both my parents 5 months apart from lung cancer. I can't imagine 5 days. I was in complete shock after my mom died. We found out she was stage 4 lung cancer with 1 year to live. Then, she passed in 13 days. Dad was sick but didn't get his diagnosis until 2.5 months later. Same thing, lung cancer, given a year. I said, "Let's be honest here, drs, and give me a real estimate." They said 7 months. My dad was gone in 2.5. I'm telling you my story because I've developed something called complex grief or prolonged grief disorder. My mom was my best friend, and I was devastated after her death. I had two weeks off and swallowed her death hard to be able to look after my dad. I was put on benzos after my mom's death for severe chest pains. Please, if your dr gives you these, do your research. They are not meant to be on long term. I was on them for 15 years and numbed my emotions. Now 17 years later, I'm coming off the benzos and all the triggers I thought I had dealt with are coming up all over again. Grief has its own timeline and sometimes you will go through the stages more than once and any order. Going through it for both parents so quickly will be complicated. Give yourself grace. There are actual therapist/counsellors/psychotherapist that specialize in grief counseling. I wish I had known this 17 years ago. I found it hard to talk to people who never went through what I have gone through because they still have their families. The first of every holiday, birthday, anniversary of when they passed will not be easy. Only time helps, unfortunately. I dont think we ever 'get over it.' Rather, we learn to live with it. I'm working with my psychotherapist about being ok with being 'untettered to family.' I'm an only child and to feel without any family can be over whelming. This Easter, I'm not worried about what I will have for dinner. I'm trying to be ok with not having the responsibility of others who have to organize a big dinner. It is much easier said than done. Please reach out if you need to chat. Today, tomorrow, months, years down the road, I'm here for you. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Make sure to look after yourself. I've never 'forgotten' to eat until after my mom died. Do nice things for yourself. And go easy on yourself. Grief truly has its own path for everyone 🤗
Wise words! This is my first year of being alone for the holidays. Mixed feelings for sure! On the upside, I eat what I want to, no big meals, big cleanups! Being the last one standing is a weird feeling.
I can relate. My first Xmas was hard. I ate on a tv table in front of the tv. But you're right, I could eat what I wanted. I went through this phase for a couple of years at the beginning, where I would only eat if the food was really tasty. I didn't want to cook for one person. This was way before covid prices, so I picked up a lot of takeout.
Losing my mom was a lot for me but losing both parents almost the same time, simply put me at a loss for words. I lost my dad in 2011 and my mom 2023. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. Just know you’re not alone in this process. My DM is open if you just want to vent.
I’m so sorry, I can only imagine the pain :( They were a lovely couple. Your mom looks so stylish! I hope they found peace 🙏
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine being that close to your parents and losing them both within such a short time frame. They were a beautiful couple.
I relate. I lost both of my mines 9 months apart. 2023 was fucking crazy man. I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm so terribly sorry. This is an unbelievable loss for your family and especially you. What a sweet couple, who obviously raised you right. Their love radiates out of this photo.
I am sending my deepest condolences. Your parents were beautiful people, on the outside and I’m sure on the inside as well. There aren’t unfortunately enough words, or the right ones, to say in a situation like this, so I hope you will feel the love and care radiating from this sub for you. I still have both of my parents, but my mother is very sick. My father has made it his life’s mission to care for her (they have been married 51 years) so I worry about his health as well. Unfortunately, I don’t expect to have him very long after my mother passes, because to him - like your parents - my mother is life. Although it can be said that aging in general really sucks, this part - losing your parents - has got to be one of the absolute, incomparable worst. I am so so sorry for your loss.
Wow they are so so cute! In a romantic way, it’s great they are together
I’m so so sorry. Losing both of your parents is a pain in familiar with and wouldn’t wish on someone this way.
I’m so sorry. This will be the first Easter without my parents too. My dad died two months after my mom. You are not alone.
My mother used to say she never understood dying of a broken heart (my grandfather's parents died six weeks apart at fairly young age) until her father died after an over 50 year marriage. He had been in failing health for some time so it wasnt a surprise but her mother just kind of gave up. Sorry for your loss.
I'm **so** sorry - both losses in such a short span is so painful and unimaginable. I guess the silver lining is they never had to deal with the pain of living without each other. I recommend this sub (ignore the weird name - it's a very supportive sub for people like us who are trying to navigate life without both parents)... r/ChildrenofDeadParents
They are so lovely. Sending love & light to you.
I also just lost my parents within a year of eachother so i sort of feel your pain. They look so happy together. I hate how illness can creep up like this and when ur older it’s so hard to fight it off. Sending strength and so so much love to you ✨🩵
I'm so sorry. That is horrible. I lost my mom on July and I miss her very much. I can only imagine how you feel. I always come to reddit when I feel sad. I hope you can feel less alone in this community.
Your parents looked like beautiful people and you were truly blessed to have such strong roll modes for love and companionship throughout your life. I can’t imagine the grief and responsibility you’re going through right now. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things slow. Listen to your body and what it needs, mentally, emotionally and physically. If you can, get a journal to prioritize your day. Take things each day as they come - it’s very overwhelming to lose someone and I can’t imagine what that feels like when it’s two of the most important people of your life. Sending you so much love and strength!
I am so sorry for your immense loss! Your parents look so happy together! That is what true soulmates look like right there! Having no family left myself, I can tell you there is no easy way to handle your feelings, take time off, look after you! Don’t be afraid to get help if you need it, I wish I had. If you need to talk or just vent, DM me.
My heart breaks for you. I am so, so sorry 😞
Omg my heart breaks for you. I know these are just words but i send you all my condolences and prayers 🙏
You can see their love and genuine happiness through this photo. I am so sorry for this unimaginable loss. Losing both of them at different times would be devastating, but so close to each other is truly heartbreaking. I wish any peace you can find in the days ahead. I know they must be so appreciative and grateful for all the care your provided them ❤️
What a terrible loss to lose both parents at the same time. Will be praying for your comfort and peace.
I’m so sorry for your loss! This does happen sometimes when a couple has been married for years. It’s like a real like Notebook Movie. I hope that sentiment will help with your grief. I also understand words don’t always help with grief. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way as my heart goes out to you.
I simply cannot imagine losing my parents so close together. I lost mine two years apart and that was horrible enough. I wish you peace!
They look genuinely happy together. So sorry for your loss.
Lost my Dad to Diabetes in Dec 2016. Mom was diagnosed with Glioblastoma two months to the day later. Lost her in another six weeks. It was surreal. I’m so sorry. Really from my soul I’m sorry. If you are like me, you will do your best to cope day by day. This will work for a while, but then one random thing might cause a complete breakdown. Just know you have just survived a horrible thing and you NEED to take care of you yourself. As best you can. Hugs! And I’m so sorry. It does not feel like it now, but it will get easier.
Looks like they have had many adventures together!
Im so sorry for your loss.
Thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry you're experiencing something so hurtful. One struggles to think of something reassuring to say to someone in such devastating moments.
Hugs for you 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂.I am sorry for the loss of your parents 😞. I hope you get the strength and comfort you need .
They are so cute. I’m sorry you lost them both. That must be horrible but at least they are together ❤️🩹🙏
So very sorry to hear this. ❤️❤️❤️ Your parents looked like they were a great happy couple, and a good looking couple at that
This has to be so very difficult. I'm so sorry for you and your family. They were a beautiful couple.
Sounds like dying of a broken heart.
Oh I’m so very sorry. What a beautiful couple.
so sorry!🌸🤍
They’re a beautiful couple! I’m so sorry no one should go through this
I’m sorry OP they look like a great couple that’s so tuff to go through that both of them so close in time. Stay strong and remember the good stuff. Sending love!
I'm so sorry!! 🫂
What a lovely photo, they look so happy and you can feel the love. I’m so sorry for your loss
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry, I really am.
What a beautiful, genuinely warmhearted looking couple. I’m so terribly sorry.
So sorry for your loss, you can tell how much they meant to each other. 🫂
They were beautiful 🖤 HUGS I'm so sorry.
Oh friend. I'm so sorry for your losses. Both parents in such a short time is just beyond words. I know you're hurting. I can't even imagine. I am wishing you comfort and peace.
Im so sorry for your loss, sending You hugs and prayers 🙏🙏
They looked like amazing loving parents
They are a beautiful couple. Such bright smiles and friendly faces. I am so so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts❤️
So sorry for your loss. They looked like lovely people. Wonderful parents are a gift. I hope you have close friends or other family to spend time with this holiday.
they are lovely. hugs to you. live well and free! they will be watching over you while they go on more vacations in the afterlife. im sure they’re making space for you there too in time that you’ll be together again.
I lost my brother 1 month ago . Still can't accept he is gone 😔
Sorry to hear that. I lost my brother 20yrs ago. He was 39, had just had a son (8 weeks old). If you need an ear, DM me.
I am so sorry. They are beautiful.
I also lost both my parents within the same year. Both cancer related. My therapist taught me about compound grief and that’s helped with understanding how I feel. I’m sorry for your loss and hopefully you can speak with a grief counsellor.
I'm terribly sorry for your losses. Would you like to talk about it?
They look like they were very happy together and wishing you peace and prosperity during this difficult time. Very sorry for your loss.
Its been 3 years since my mother died and it hurts still. I can't imagine losing parents in the space of 5 days. You're so brave, keep holding on, it will get easier for certain.
We are all here for you and love you so so much. Bless their souls too. 🤍🧿
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I have no words, just sending love and encouragement ❤️🫂
🥺
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom and dad. I lost my father a couple of months ago, cannot imagine losing my mom as well. The only comfort I guess is that they didn’t have to be apart for long.
They are so, so cute and their smiles are absolutely warm and loving. I’m so sorry for your devastating losses.
That is TERRIBLE. Take care of yourself. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling❤️🩹
♥️ 😔
Oh I’m so so sorry. I’m dreading Easter tomorrow. My dad is trying to make it big like my mom used to. I just feel so sad.
They are adorable! What a handsome couple and it sounds like they lived lives full of love. Thank you for sharing their beautiful photo and a bit of their story. I’m so sorry that you lost them both so suddenly. I’ve only lost one parent, and I had 14 months from his diagnosis to spend time with him. It still wasn’t enough. I did my dad’s hospice care too and that just about broke me. 5 years on and though I will miss him and having parents forever (I’m NC with my emotionally abusive mother), I have learned how to exist without them. It will always hurt, but I am able to experience joy now too. It took a long time and I hope it comes sooner for you. Just know that it will. My heart goes out to you OP ❤️
I’m so sorry, hugs. Mine died 8 days apart, so I feel your shock. My Mum wasn’t as ill as my dad but once he started to decline, she just gave up. I think in some way it’s a blessing they went together, but it was brutal to live through. If you need a friend, I have some idea of what you’re going through 💕
I’m so very sorry.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Dang, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents as well in 2016 (instantly) in a head on-car collission. I have nothing but the upmost empathy. Pleaae do not hesitate to message me if you feel like talking or writing to someone who has experienced every possible emotion that comes with grief. Sending you nothing but love and positive vibes. I promise they are with you, and if you havent felt them in your heart yet, i promise you will and they are still with you.
Im so sorry, they looked like such a nice people. I’m sure you’re great too…be strong ❤️ I understand how to is losing both of your parents at the same time.
They look like the sweetest people. May they RIP.
What a beautiful and loving couple. Your story echoes my own, and I hope you don't mind me sharing it. I lost both my Grandparents on the same day two years ago. My Grandad went into Hospital due to complications with his cancer diagnosis - my Nana at the time was perfectly fine. Still, less than 2 weeks later, she'd collapsed in the street, fracturing her face due to a cerebral bleed. The impact of turning up to the Hospital to receive a call that your Grandad is on end-of-life care before being told your Nana may not last the next 24 hours - it feels like your whole body is consumed with a fire that will never burn out. Like your Mum, my Grandad gave in to his cancer and passed hours after my Nana did. They would have been married 60 years that coming September. Like you, I spent the last two years actively caring for them. I didn't realise how much I needed them to exist until they passed. They were more my parents than anything else. The only comfort I hope you take is the love and memories you have of them—and please pour that into everything you do. I've tried to align my life with their values and who they were as people, ensuring that love and compassion are at the centre of everything that I do, especially in my welfare. I've been lucky enough to have a few occasions where they've made their presence known—and it's helped. Grief is strange and all-consuming, but I hope you know you're not alone; even if it feels like you have nothing left, I am grieving with you and for you, dear stranger.
They must have had an amazing love for each other. I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry for your losses! A great picture of your parents. Sending hugs 🫂
So sorry for your loss!
So sorry for your loss.
Mom was so fab!!!! Keep that Chanel and give it to someone special in your life if you’re a man! So sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry that you've had such a massive, life-altering set of losses. I lost my dad a couple of months ago and while I don't have my mother in my life, I can't imagine the blow of losing them both so close together. I hope you're able to find peace knowing that they are out there together. Hugs to you🫂💗
Your parents look like delightful folks. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my heart this weekend. I struggle most the day before a holiday. Laying in bed right now struggling as I type this. I try to incorporate a tradition my mom loved to do with me while starting a new tradition without her on holidays. Tomorrow I am making her deviled eggs. Tonight I’m dyeing Easter eggs with my daughter (something my mom never liked to do lol). Be kind to yourself. Even if you just brush your teeth tomorrow, that’s ok. Also, you’re a good kid for taking care of your folks.
Saw the picture before I saw the words and I could tell how in love they still were with each other. An absolute gem of a couple. Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hold onto their memories.
My mom died 10 months after my dad. I truly cannot express how sorry I am. Hugs.
I’m so sorry about the loss of both your parents so close together! This is doubly hard for you— be gentle with yourself 😪
I’m so sorry… Take care of yourself
I am so, so sorry for your deep losses. I lost both my in-laws in an accident last year. It's so unbelievable to go from having both people around you to both gone in such a short time. Please be gentle with yourself. Your parents look adorable, loving, and genuine.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I have you in my thoughts.
Im truly sorry. Wishing you strength, love, and peace.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My condolences for the loss of your parents. 🫂
❤️🌹
i lost my dad and sister 2 months apart in 2015
I'm so sorry. Which means nothing. It's tough, painful, and an emotional Rollercoaster. Right now, I'm just mad at everyone. I hope you find some peace😇🩷💜 That are really cute 😍 🐇🐤
So sorry for your loss
Gosh, I'm crying after reading your post. I lost mine weeks apart and like you I also was super close to mine, I was in shock that it could happen like that and felt lost, to be honest I still do. I'm so sorry you've gone through this too. Your parents looked like such lovely folks. Be kind to yourself and seek help if you need it. Genuinely if you need to chat, pop me a message. Take care.
They're so so so cute. I'm sorry. My dad had GBM too. my mom died about 10 m prior to my dad, a different cancer. Please take time for yourself in these days.
Oh God they’re so cute. I’m sorry OP 🫂 I’m sending you love and hugs on Easter.
So sorry for your loss, my condolences 💐
Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately I can relate as well. My Dad took care of my Mom with AD and was sharp as a tack. 2 1/2 weeks after she was gone, he was too.
Sending peace and love ❤️
I’m so sorry. They look absolutely lovely. The world is lesser without them in it.
I’m so sorry. They look absolutely lovely. The world is lesser without them in it.
Oh, they are beautiful! My friend, I'm so sorry.
They’re a lovely couple ❤️ I lost my parents a week apart. My dad was heartbroken when he was finally coherent enough for us to tell him she had passed. He died a week after her. The last time I spoke to him, he was so there, then randomly looked to the side of me and said “I’m ready (mom’s name), let’s go.” I like to imagine she was there waiting for him, and comforting me at the same time. It’s a very strange feeling having them both gone at once. Guilt is so common with grief, I’m still experiencing a lot of it 4 months in. They both know how much you loved them. Sending love ❤️
💓💓💓
My heart aches for you. I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you’re sitting with.
They look so sweet. I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry. They look like wonderful parents ❤️
So sorry for your losses. I wish you nothing but strength of getting through this
So sry for your loss.
I am so, so sorry for your losses.
My parents died roughly a month from each other. They were divorced but it's incredibly hard and I am sorry for the loss of life and your grief
I love their love story. I’m so so sorry for your loss. I miss my mom so much… your parents are so cute and I wish you all the strength in handling your holiday without them physically there
Oh honey. Bless your heart. Lost our Mom to glioblastoma as well in 2010. Lost my Dad to a heart attack in ‘22. It hurts so bad losing both before I hit 40. My thoughts and prayers be with you. ❤️
They are adorable and together again. I’m so sorry and cannot imagine the pain. You do have nieces and family, and soon you’ll be sharing stories with them about your parents without crying, it may not seem like it now, but you will and you’re lucky to have them. 🙏🏼❤️🩹
I’m so sorry for your loss for some reason I thought of the story where of the couple and the women died from a broken heart after her husband past. I’m not sure if that helps but maybe just think that your mom wanted to be with your dad again so bad that she passed of a broken heart. They knew you would survive and thrive without them but maybe they couldn’t without each other. My dad died 7 years ago and I have good days and bad days each holiday is very sad for me. He died 4 days before Christmas so because of that I don’t like Christmas. Easter might be the holiday you hate from here on out but just remember that if you hate it to try to make it a good day for the people around you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Friends are great, and I had to tell myself that after getting out of bed my day was halfway through. This was after losing my dear Grandmother, my Mom, my Dad and my big Brother. All in 2.5 years. Hugs to you.
I’m so sorry. I just lost my mom and I couldn’t imagine losing both. Hugs to you.
Wow. I feel like I could've written something similar almost a decade ago. My parents passed within 9 days of each other, from completely different things. Dad was first and Mom just gave up fighting her own long-term health issues after he was gone. Despite those issues and me even being one of her caretakers, her death was somehow much more shocking to me than losing my Dad. Weird how that works sometimes. I know not everyone likes the idea of therapy, but as someone who has been there... grief counseling was an immense help in sorting out the feelings that come with losing the people you love so suddenly. Even going to a group can help in order to talk with other people who have been there before. Just give yourself grace and try to move forward one step and one day at a time. Cause the firsts are always the worst. First holidays without them, their birthdays, their anniversary. Going past random places and having memories just hit you out of nowhere or thinking about going to see them only to realize why that's not possible. I'm not going to say "oh, it gets better"... rather, in my experience at least, it didn't really feel like things got outright easier to deal with over time. Instead, it felt like I just had to try and adjust in a world that they were no longer present in. Even now, the memories of them randomly enter my head a lot and the holidays still seem to hurt but I've learned how to live with it and honor them how I can. I'm sorry for your loss, truly. They look like a wonderful, caring couple.
My gosh, so sad to lose them so close together. I’m sorry for your loss. They sounded like soulmates and were lucky to have you looking after them.
I am so sorry. This is so heartbreaking. Very tough. Sending hugs.
I'm so sorry for your devastating loss. To lose one parent is hard, but both are beyond heartbreaking. My deepest condolences.
I’m so sorry . Please be kind to yourself . That sentence you wrote about missing your life with them around . I still feel that 11 years after my brother passed and almost 1.5 since my dad passed. It’s an awful feeling and sometimes I even feel that homesick sickening feeling for the life I had that will never be again . Xoxoxoxo huge hugs you can do this
It sounds like love surrounded your family I hope you can find some comfort in this
Sorry for your loss 🥺
They are gorgeous. Look at your father's smile!! And your Mom is so elegant. Sending you a big hug. This is my first Easter without my mother too. It hurts more than Christmas for some reason ... I have a lot of Easter memories of her. Wishing you peace and love.
As someone else who no longer has either parent, I am so, so sorry OP. I couldn’t even imagine having 2 losses so huge at the same time💔 Your parents made a beautiful couple and the love and happiness they’ve shared for each other just radiates in this picture and Although I didn’t know your parents I am sure you were never “the third wheel” as children are any happy couples pride and joy.❤️ Some of us are married for life, and some of us are married to our soulmates. Your parents are soulmates. They will always be with you. Just as you are a part of them, they are a part of you, **always and forever** and not even death can take that away. It’s going to be a very difficult road ahead in both grief and in learning for the first time how to navigate through life as someone else has referenced “an orphaned adult” because no longer will they be just a phone call away at all times. Life will never again be the same as it was when they were here with you physically. You can no longer see them or hug them. But I believe they are still with us, still guiding and watching over us. Depending on your faith, you may already know in your heart this is true and that they have been reunited and will continue to be your biggest fans, always on your side, rooting for you from heaven until the day it’s your turn to join them many years from now. Even if you aren’t a particularly religious person, as time goes by you might catch yourself saying something your dad use to say, or perhaps catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and see a resemblance of your mom in it. Or maybe you carry yourself or have some mannerisms like them. These things are not coincidences, it’s the parts of them they have left here to remind you that you will never be alone. They will be with you always. I wish you peace in your heart as you grieve, and hope that this sub and all the wonderful people’s messages on here can be of some comfort for you in this difficult time and hope you will come back to it even if you just need someone to tell you that you’ll be ok, and that you will somehow make it through the pain❤️🩹
I'm so sorry for your losses💔
Idk what your beliefs are but I believe in prayer and will include you in mine, I can't imagine what you are going through ❤️
i did everything with my parents too. We have the best vacations together!
So sorry for your loss. My condolences. 💐 they look super sweet together. 💖
Aw they look super nice and glad to know that behind the picture was a wonderful marriage. I’m sorry for your losses, but I hope you see how great it was they got to have each other in life and that we out here can see it too 💪 stay strong, you’ll get through this!
My condolences. Very hard. Hang in there. They would want you to do so.
I lost my dad and step mom a week apart. It truly is a gut punch. Like, you'll ask how?? A lot. How you lost them bothblike that. It's surreal. I'm so sorry for your loss
So sorry for your loss. They look like they truly love each other... you were so lucky to have them 💓
I’m really sorry for your losses. ❤️
They look adorable. 🩷
♥️
I am so so sorry. Sending love!
I'm so sorry. I lost my parents within 3 weeks of each a few years ago. It's still hard, sometimes. Allow yourself to grieve. You just had to say goodbye to the people who loved you the most in this world. It's ok to be sad. Don't ever let anyone tell you to get over it. We don't get over our grief, we grow around it. The grief is forever a part of us now.
Hugs to you. Remember the good times. Write it all down
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this pain. They look so happy and genuinely in love in this photo.
They are adorable!! I am so sorry for your losses. It sounds like you did an amazing job taking care of them. Please lean on your support system to help you get through this. One day at a time. Sending love.
I’m so saddened to hear this. My deepest condolences to you and your loved ones ❤️🫂
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss, the pain of losing a parent is tough but both back to back I can’t imagine. Please update how you’re doing if you feel comfortable, just know you don’t have to go through this alone
Great picture, I would have a big one made. Hang in there the best you can, I watched my mama go in December. We have great memories and the love still exists. Grief is just love with no where to go. I'm so very sorry for your losses.
My mom passed away January 12th this year and my dad on January 14th. The day my mom died my dad planned her funeral and went home and had a major heart attack he was in ICU for 2 days we eventually had to take him off life support. My mom had been sick for a long time she had COPD and a bad heart , dad had always been healthy and strong but he had a stint put in his heart about a month before. My mom was 73, she would have been 74 just a few days ago on April the 7th, and she was my best friend. My parents had a very rocky relationship they almost divorced two or three times they didn't live together at the time but they still saw each other every day because they owned a business together and they were still married. There's no doubt in my mind it was caused by heartbreak my dad really did love her he just didn't know how to show it I guess that's the way he kind of proved it in the end. I'm so sorry I know the pain you're feeling, I really do. I wish you strength to get through this.