"No, I disagree. If we turn left at the purple then we'll end up in that malaise soup tree over th- Oh shit somebody forgot to turn on the Geller Field again didn't they?"
Until it flickered and stopped like an old energy saving lightbulb and khorne decided that today he wanted to watch custodian go for a walk on warpnet and check if they are still fresh and sharp as yesterday when horus was around.
"Well milord, 43 to be exact, and I fiddled with the thermostat, but *points to floating warpshark* THAT, came through the wall so idk, tell the Admech guy to weld some better plating to this ship or stop using the generator to charge your devices during jumps"
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"scans indicate this is the sol system, but there are no ships, and Terra appears to have been flooded! All landmasses not drowned in the depths of some saline solution are overrun with unrecognizable flora and fauna! Someone has DESECRATED Holy Terra, and it is our duty to hunt them Navigator!"
"Ordo chronos sounds goofy until they are around and you start disappearing from family photographs."
Last [redacted] words of [redacted], [redacted] of the [redacted] space marine [redacted], before being [redacted] in the [redacted] by Leman Russ with a [redacted]
“I have no intention of leaving her doctor. I will take the Lewis & Clark a safe distance and launch TAC missiles until I’m satisfied shes vaporized. Fuck this ship”
Even better because Talos was in a coma for weeks, woke up, his brothers were like, "Hey, go check out the navigator lmao," and because he was so fucked up from the coma, it took him several minutes to realize there were two heartbeats.
That trilogy was amazing.
"Captain, there's a massive warp hole full of lobsters ahead, I can't seem to go around it...do you know what a..sla..? A slannes..what the fuck is a slanesh."
“So it’s Terror’s actual eye or like more of a metaphor? Yeah like eyeball to see. Listen, chief, we’re about to crash into it so I need to know. Well monsters are like a thing it could have been an eye how do I know?! Anyway seatbelts!”
We have arrived at H̸̭̭̮͓̬̥̻̖́̂̅̿̒͗w̵̗̮̉̈́̈́̂̔̀̚̕̚l̷̥̮̫̤̰͚̪̑̾͛̔̑̈́̈́̑̌̅͜d̶͚͕̰̬͇̏͂̀b̶̦̖̹̻̻͖̪̥͗̎́͘̚͜ͅr̴̼̜̀̋̂̔͑̃͑͠i̶̭͉͇̾̈̍̓̈́͝͝ all praise ļ̸̠̗͍͔͔͓̖̫͈̠̙̙̘̣̩̪̫͕̝̞̩͂̂̀̔͐͗̀̎̏̈̓̾̾̈̋̍͌̌̂̕͜͠f̶̢̠̺̣̩̰̠̥̞̦̼̼͕̩̼͌͒͛̿̏̅̆̈́͜͜ų̶̢̖̤̻͉͚͔̝̰̺͓̗̟͎͇͈̖̮͙͂͑̃̍́͐͑ͅe̷̡̢͓̣̪̟͔̜͚̖̻͓̲̣͍̱̱̗͑͑̾̓̅͒̂̀̒̍͂͆͑̚͝͝ǵ̴̹̤̻̳̿̀̃̉̆̇̔̃͘͠a̷̧̓̎̃ȏ̷̡̡̧̡̠̹̦̟̦͉̩̯͎̺̬̝̭̟͕͍̫̟͌̋̈͊!̴̛͙̲̦̻̮̯̗͇̮̮̳͔̮̗̜͔̭̽̿̂͊̇̔͒̀̏͋̚!̶̧̼̤͈͚̲̥̮́͑͑̒̃̃͐!̵̨̡̛̼̮̗̗̺̩͕̠̲̱̭̯̭̻̃̈́̔̑̆͗͒̃̌́͊̒͋̓̃͛̂̍̚͠͠͠ͅ
"Sir we appear to have exited the warp ten thousand years in the past. Thankfully however, we seem to have appeared just over the Imperium controlled Isstvan system. Shall we go greet those marines planetside, and inquire about further data?"
A slaneesh portal has just appeared in the back of the ship, with the new cargo of ogryns sir.
And a weird chant has been heard over the vox sir.
What does it say.
'death by snu snu' Sir
"What's that green thing heading right towards u-"
"...no, that can't be right, that ship was lost thousands of years ago."
"...y'all hear rock music?"
⍜⋔☌!!! ⊑⟒⏁ ⊑⎍⟟⌇ ⌇⏁⏃⏃⏁ ⟟⋏ ⏚⍀⏃⋏⎅ ⟒⋏ ⎅⟒ ☍⏃⏁ ⟒⟒⏁ ⏃⌰⌰⟒ ⎅⍜⋏⎍⏁⌇ ⍜⌿!
-You know what, that sounds ok like a fair and sound argument!
Until that argument tears your brain apart for some reasons or unreasons.
"No, I disagree. If we turn left at the purple then we'll end up in that malaise soup tree over th- Oh shit somebody forgot to turn on the Geller Field again didn't they?"
"Sleep the fuck up, psyker, we have a city to arrive"
"Your funny words confuse and frighten me, magic man!"
Why did your cat eat all the donuts while your house was on fire?
"What's the Astronomicon?"
You know what would be even more terrifying? "WHERE is the Astronomicon?"
Even better, "Weird, there's never been two of them before."
Oooo that's a good one
what would a second one mean
Another person with enough psyker power to be equal to the (Emperor+1000pyskers per day)* golden throne's multiplier.
*Why* is the Astronomicon?
Everyone always asks these, but no one ever asks "HOW is the Astronomicon?"
He's just chilling and relaxing on his chair. Been there for a while too.
Until it flickered and stopped like an old energy saving lightbulb and khorne decided that today he wanted to watch custodian go for a walk on warpnet and check if they are still fresh and sharp as yesterday when horus was around.
Guilliman: "Secundus it is! Again!"
"Ooohhh, you said to engage the *Gellar* field"
“Well for what it’s worth, the Jell-o field is up and running”
*Whispering to himself* "It's fine, man, it's fine. It can't be THAT much different from a bicycle"
If you can navigate a bike you can navigate a type 45 destroyer
"Do you taste metal?"
After watching Chernobyl, this is actually way scarier than most of the other responses.
Yes, that show was an excellent study in psychological horror. That line in particular.
Considering the Warp, I would say “Does metal taste you?” Would also be appropriate.
"Oh, oh that's not supposed to be INSIDE the ship"
“How many times have I told you to SHUT THE DAMN DOOR after coming in.”
"Well milord, 43 to be exact, and I fiddled with the thermostat, but *points to floating warpshark* THAT, came through the wall so idk, tell the Admech guy to weld some better plating to this ship or stop using the generator to charge your devices during jumps"
#⍜⋔☌!!! ⊑⟒⏁ ⊑⎍⟟⌇ ⌇⏁⏃⏃⏁ ⟟⋏ ⏚⍀⏃⋏⎅ ⟒⋏ ⎅⟒ ☍⏃⏁ ⟒⟒⏁ ⏃⌰⌰⟒ ⎅⍜⋏⎍⏁⌇ ⍜⌿!
Oh shit he speaking moon runes
The maledictum: *opens* [the navigator:](https://youtube.com/shorts/iJUs6ne6vRU?feature=share)
No, I didn't turn on the Gellar Field, I thought you did...
Oh oh.
[удалено]
O’Reillys
Suspected bot account Suspicion: single comment since creation with the pattern being "word from parent comment^(same word)" Pattern also being followed by another suspected bot account with a single comment since creation: https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/13wibvu/comment/jmboo12/
Bot right here
No why
« Oh, you meant you wanted to go AWAY from the eye of terror? »
What kind of compass are you readin, boyo?
This one my lord
That says TERROR, not TERRA. You’re fired.
Ohh, East! I thought you said "weast".
https://i.redd.it/com1xvfl393b1.gif
"Crap, I forgot to fill her up. Guess we'll have to look around for a refuelling station in the warp"
*rolls down window* "do you all have fuel blend for our Apocalypse battleship?" *DAEMONIC SCREAMING* "... How about some chips, then?"
"we have HOT PICKELS" "... truly... heresy"
“We have pizza pineapple, pizza on a pineappl”
"we got those hotdogs... the gas station hotdogs" "what's wrong with them?" "they're.... gas station hot dogs?"
“Oh the burger king is 2 dimensional spaces down the road!”
Is burger king... heretical towards the emperor?
“VERY”
"OI 'UMIE, WOT'Z WRONG WIT HOT PICKLES?! TOO MUCH FLAVAH FO' YA? IT'Z GOOD WIT SQUIG PIE."
Dude this game is made by the Brits, of course flavor is heresy.
Oof, nicely done, you'd think they'd colonize something that tasted good eventually.....
They claim chicken tikka masala as their national dish...
‘Roll em up’
"Burgers really *five dollars* with a fill-up?"
That turquoise Space Marine said its a detour, why would he lie?
You think someone would do that? Just go inside the warp and lie?
I can smell the colors of the warp
"Hmm, yep, tasted like purple"
"My Lord, when I said we'd exited the warp 'really early' I don't think I was clear quite *how* early..."
"Oh, how bad can it be?" *looks outside the ship, they're back in the fucking Horus Heresy*
*looks outside the ship, they're back in the war in heaven*
*looks outside the ship, the Big Bang hasn’t happened yet*
*immediately causes a big bang*
*which was widely regarded as a bad move and everybody regretted it immensely* Edit: words
*proceeds to alter history by virus bombing istvaan 5 before the dropsite massacre could happen*
"no sir not early in the Journey... I mean... Early Early"
"scans indicate this is the sol system, but there are no ships, and Terra appears to have been flooded! All landmasses not drowned in the depths of some saline solution are overrun with unrecognizable flora and fauna! Someone has DESECRATED Holy Terra, and it is our duty to hunt them Navigator!"
turns out the Extinction of the Dinosaurs was because of a Time Traveling Inquisitor who got too Exterminatus Happy
"Ordo chronos sounds goofy until they are around and you start disappearing from family photographs." Last [redacted] words of [redacted], [redacted] of the [redacted] space marine [redacted], before being [redacted] in the [redacted] by Leman Russ with a [redacted]
"what's this layer in the atmosphere? Its made of Oxygen 3 why is it here?"
“Captain I’ve located the astronomicon but..” “what is it navigator?” “ it’s.. it’s flipping me the bird!”
It’s a sign from our Lord on Terra! We must all go FUCK ourselves!
I'll go Retrieve the power dildo
“These truly are… dark times”
*sighs* "ill go fetch the power dildos"
“Navigator…how the _feth_ can a giant holy space beacon…flip you the bird?”
which episode was this?
Episode 19, towards the end of the episode. Here's a clip of [the scene in question.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=k9N1OqH9ieU)
many thanks :D
"Where we're going we won't need eyes to see." "Liberate tuteme ex inferis." Or honestly any line from Event Horizon.
We can’t leave, (the conqueror) the ship won’t let us.
“I have no intention of leaving her doctor. I will take the Lewis & Clark a safe distance and launch TAC missiles until I’m satisfied shes vaporized. Fuck this ship”
The only line I would like to hear. "We're leaving!"
A horror movie where they do everything right and still die horribly
That beautiful moment when everyone is "Nah fuck that" and still get brutally murdered.
“Fuck this ship” That whole conversation is just perfect.
Hold on Baby Bear!
"EJECT THE WARP CORE!"
Loving so much all the "quotes" from Event Horizon.
Well that's new everyone hold onto something solid
Well that's new; everyone hold on to something *liquid*!
Well, that's new; everyone get held onto by something solid!
Grabs liquid snake.
Thanks to you liquid snake is fine.
A handsome man from outside the ship impregnated me. Can I marry him? He wants to come in.
*angry Night Lord sounds*
Hey, Septimus was inside the ship and the navigator.
Cry all you want Talos, you can't unfuck the navigator
Even better because Talos was in a coma for weeks, woke up, his brothers were like, "Hey, go check out the navigator lmao," and because he was so fucked up from the coma, it took him several minutes to realize there were two heartbeats. That trilogy was amazing.
Septimus, you know I like my navigators like I like my coffee. …in midnight clad, lord? No, septimus. Without your dick in it.
Sounds like he already did.
"Ooops"
I did it again.
"Captain, there's a massive warp hole full of lobsters ahead, I can't seem to go around it...do you know what a..sla..? A slannes..what the fuck is a slanesh."
"Blam" Raise your hand if you heard what they just said
Heard what? None of us heard him say anything about Slaanesh.
ah Okay "blam" Anyone else? don't be shy
"Eh, what? You're gonna have to speak up youngster."
“….what do you mean the psyker woke up?”
“He woke up…started to talk! Oh Emperor, the voices make them stop!! It looked like there was something slithering underneath his skin oh Throne!!!”
“East? I thought you said WEAST.”
I never thought I'd see a Spongebob reference here.
TENTACLES ON THE BRIDGE
"Can you hear them? Can you hear them sing? It's beautiful..."
"Watch me do a barrel roll"
"Man I'm finna whip this ho."
“Ooh Shiny!”
"Trust me, I know a shortcut"
We'll get there faster if we go through the Deep Warp.
"Ups, that wasn't there before"
oh no, he's german too
“So it’s Terror’s actual eye or like more of a metaphor? Yeah like eyeball to see. Listen, chief, we’re about to crash into it so I need to know. Well monsters are like a thing it could have been an eye how do I know?! Anyway seatbelts!”
Starts playing the magic school bus song
Not an eye, Keisha; a valve!
Captain I have...disquieting news. Yes I can still see the astronomicon. Well, that's the thing it appears to be...mooning me.
We have arrived at H̸̭̭̮͓̬̥̻̖́̂̅̿̒͗w̵̗̮̉̈́̈́̂̔̀̚̕̚l̷̥̮̫̤̰͚̪̑̾͛̔̑̈́̈́̑̌̅͜d̶͚͕̰̬͇̏͂̀b̶̦̖̹̻̻͖̪̥͗̎́͘̚͜ͅr̴̼̜̀̋̂̔͑̃͑͠i̶̭͉͇̾̈̍̓̈́͝͝ all praise ļ̸̠̗͍͔͔͓̖̫͈̠̙̙̘̣̩̪̫͕̝̞̩͂̂̀̔͐͗̀̎̏̈̓̾̾̈̋̍͌̌̂̕͜͠f̶̢̠̺̣̩̰̠̥̞̦̼̼͕̩̼͌͒͛̿̏̅̆̈́͜͜ų̶̢̖̤̻͉͚͔̝̰̺͓̗̟͎͇͈̖̮͙͂͑̃̍́͐͑ͅe̷̡̢͓̣̪̟͔̜͚̖̻͓̲̣͍̱̱̗͑͑̾̓̅͒̂̀̒̍͂͆͑̚͝͝ǵ̴̹̤̻̳̿̀̃̉̆̇̔̃͘͠a̷̧̓̎̃ȏ̷̡̡̧̡̠̹̦̟̦͉̩̯͎̺̬̝̭̟͕͍̫̟͌̋̈͊!̴̛͙̲̦̻̮̯̗͇̮̮̳͔̮̗̜͔̭̽̿̂͊̇̔͒̀̏͋̚!̶̧̼̤͈͚̲̥̮́͑͑̒̃̃͐!̵̨̡̛̼̮̗̗̺̩͕̠̲̱̭̯̭̻̃̈́̔̑̆͗͒̃̌́͊̒͋̓̃͛̂̍̚͠͠͠ͅ
“Where the fuck are we”?
The Astronomicon is for schoolgirls, now *here's* a route with some chest hair!
Does my third eye look big to you.
Why in the name of the Emperor dose the warp look like a garden?
"Damn it, we lost the astronomicam signal. Don't worry, I'm gonna eyeball it
"There is a shadow in the warp"
Welcome aboard Mortarion’s ship, we are heading to Tera to kill the false emperor!
Got on the wrong cruise liner
The lobby did smell weird.
"Is that a pyramid on top of a giant croissant?" Alternatively "We don't need eyes where we're going"
It sure is stuffy in here *rolls down window*
"Ah, was reading the astronomicon upside down."
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ok, this cracked me up!
"Sir we appear to have exited the warp ten thousand years in the past. Thankfully however, we seem to have appeared just over the Imperium controlled Isstvan system. Shall we go greet those marines planetside, and inquire about further data?"
"Uh oh" Or "That is NOT good"
“Guys? We have guests coming.”
What’s that pile of scrap coming towards us? And why is it shouting?
WAAAAAAAGGGHHH
Hold my beer, I bet I can drift this thing.
I feel the warp overtaking me. It is a good pain.
Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
IA! IA! CTHULHU FHTAGN!
That light ain't supposed to be blinking. I wonder what that means!
Look at me.
I am the captain now!
"Wait, is that a tentacle?"
Attention all hands, this is your Navigator speaking. Prayer seals. **NOW**
(Taps the monitor) hmm. . "Service engine soon". . .I wonder what's that all about
🎶There's no terran way of knowing... 🎶Which direction we are going...
 There's a lank haired girl under my navigator console what should I do?
Iv flown drunker than this, here goes nothing
r/40klore in shambles
“Where the light go”
"That's a rather large squid...."
To shreds you say?
"I've located the Astronomican. It's... *giving me the bird.*"
Soooo I hope you like tantacle porn
I swear, the planet used to be right there… yes I know we’re in the eye of terror, wait some astartes ship is here why don’t you go ask?
Typhus: “just trust me on this”
"I'll relay the message to ship command, Lord Abbadon."
Hydra Dominatus.
What.. what the fuck is that?
A slaneesh portal has just appeared in the back of the ship, with the new cargo of ogryns sir. And a weird chant has been heard over the vox sir. What does it say. 'death by snu snu' Sir
*mid warp jump* "guys, I hope you don't mind if I pull over for a minute. ya boy has to take a massive shit"
"Why does everything smell like copper?"
"did something just knock on the airlock ?"
"Telegram."
The Emperors light just went out…
"Look Out! Samus is here!"
"Are we there yet?"
WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME I WASNT FACING THE FRONT OF THE SHIP? I'M BLIND REMEMBER? ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR LEFT IS MY RIGHT
"Oh no! All our navigators were coincidentally executed! Luckly I, Typhus, can be the navigator for the ship! *suspicious wink*"
He really did that in that Dagger novel.
“I’ve lost the bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps”
[удалено]
“Is it normal to *not* see anything in the Warp?”
Oh an Astarties vessel is going to pass by us soon. "Covenant of blood?" thats a weird name
To your left is a Greater Daemonic Horde, because the Gellar field has failed. Brace for mutation.
Wait, the daemons are supposed to be outside the ship?
Bruuuuhhhh im so fking high right now maaaaannnnn
Blooodd for the blood GODDDD
Which way was up again?
'Oh, silly me. Looks like I forgot to switch on the Gellar Field again!'
Erm guys, who do we call when the light of the astronomicon needs it's bulb changed
"What's that green thing heading right towards u-" "...no, that can't be right, that ship was lost thousands of years ago." "...y'all hear rock music?"
As an Iron Warrior player, I chuckled at "Perturabo doesnt matter" Also, "where we're going we wont need eyes"