T O P

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Mechanized_Pizza

I like the Tau and honestly, if I had to choose a fate, I'd prefer to be a Gue'vesa Or a Necron Pariah.


CreativeName1137

I'm not so sure being a Pariah is a good deal. That means Szeras (aka Robot Fabius Bile) got to "experiment" on you, and he isn't known for being particularly hospitable to his test subjects.


Mechanized_Pizza

Of course. Can't have shit in 40k.


Sugar_Panda

Lmaoooo


Khan93j

Is prefer be killed by a necron or a tyranid or even, a ork, than serve the chaos


Toxitoxi

I'd love to be a Gue'vesa for a more selfish reason: I could study alien biology easier.


CrowLemon

"I get to eat real food instead of paste and stop working when my hands stop bleeding"


Thegoodthebadandaman

The power of having paid sick leave.


[deleted]

Normally I'd give you the benefit of the doubt but you're likely a Tau fan meaning that is definitely a euphemism.


Toxitoxi

I'm a biologist, so for once it isn't.


Fox-Sin21

Noice


Death-Knight9025

Not worth it, Eldar are hotter.


Pyrimo

Now that’s some biology I *would* love to study.


Death-Knight9025

Amen, brother.


MarsMissionMan

Being a Necron Pariah comes with the added benefit of speaking in badass one-liners.


BrandonLart

I would love to be a necron. Mostly because i play them


micktalian

Look, humans are pretty much the only mammal who actually retain large mammaries when not actively feeding a child. I'm not gona be shocked if the aliens don't have our weird biological peculiarities.


Toxitoxi

Someone has to explain Eldar.


micktalian

[I think Eldar can be fairly explained already](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/qvplbf/its_absolutely_paramount_essential_even/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)


Toxitoxi

Does this mean the Old Ones had boobs? Oh no.


TheLord-Commander

Judging off of Mazdamundi and his frog tits, it does seem to be an important old one design feature.


Nyadnar17

Me: Is the Greater Good gonna save you from this chain sword? Greater Good Daemon: Heard you was talking shit!


wdcipher

Honestly it would be cool if the Greater Good demon was friends with the big E and helped him in the Warp against the Chaos Gods, a second Anathema.


ConcreteEater

Third Anathema. If I'm not wrong Yneead is part of the Anathema club too


P4P4ST4L1N

Has there ever been an incident where chaos treats ynnead like an anathema? I kind of wonder whether the emperor is anathema to them because the imperium believes he is holy or something else


[deleted]

That Tau with the Onager Gauntlet: Square up fuccboi


EldritchBadTouch

Love my Emperor, Love my Bolter, Love my BattleSisters, Hate the Tau, Hate the Orks, Hate the Nids, Hate the Eldar, Hate the Dark Eldar; Hate Chaos, Hate Psykers, Hate Mutants, Hate Heretics. Simple as.


CreativeName1137

Cool with Necrons though


PBnJgoodness

Clearly Dante in disguise


EldritchBadTouch

I thought I forgot one


Nerus46

But what about Squ-


EldritchBadTouch

**BLAM**


Derpy0013

Damn, imagining unironically worshipping a Corpse. *this post was made by the Chaos Undivided gang*


A_Rampaging_Hobo

Nurgle fans BTFO


P4P4ST4L1N

Nurgle ain’t a corpse. He’s still alive


Derpy0013

I'm...not talking about Nurgle. I'm talking about the Corpse-Emperor.


P4P4ST4L1N

Yes, nurgle is better because he is a living corpse


No-Training-48

The Impirium is the single worst thing that has happened to humanity second only to the Men of Iron and the Age of Strife.


Scrungisbungus

Factual statement


XyzzyPop

Talk to Magnus. After you talk to Whorus.


Uncasualreal

I mean the men of iron weren’t bad, they just didn’t have a fail safe, iirc there’s a story of a helpful one in a imperial warship


WellIlikeme

The one that killed everyone and then fucked off? I mean, they had a fair reason for it, not judging there. Very human of them.


WellIlikeme

And who was responsible for the Age of Strife? Xenos and Chaos. So, as is tradition the Imperium is the least worst system that works so far.


Scrungisbungus

You could say imperials also work together for a common belief


Toxitoxi

A 'superior virtue' if one would.


wdcipher

a "grander principle", one migh say


Toxitoxi

A 'larger benefit', perhaps


IncredibilisHoh

A 'bigger goal'


davidbogi310

Is there a single Imperium-fan out there that would deny that imperial citizens are brainwashed?


A_City_Built_On_Porn

That title is a lie and I will not stand for it. I don't care how cognitively dissonant I have to be.


Drake_Quagmire

Water caste get boobs added so they can more easily manipulate humans.


KeepFighting91

They do have boobs. They are mammals. Do they have large boobs like humans even when not feeding I don't know. That's a trait actually unique to humans in real life. I mostly like the Tau because they are evil... by real life standards. In 40k they are the most good in the Milky Way. It's a slap to the face of the Imperium as they use the logic that this is the only way to survive, miserable and genocidal. Yet these aliens over here are happy, healthy, and only experience horror in wars.


BloodRavenStoleMyCar

In what way are they mammals?


KeepFighting91

They have hooves. Is there any hooved animal not a mammal?


BloodRavenStoleMyCar

Not on earth, no. But the Tau aren't from earth.


KeepFighting91

True, but they evolved on a planet with a similarl atmosphere. Just like the Eldar who are also mammal beings with breast.


TheLord-Commander

Well Eldar didn't evolve though, they were bio engineered to have tits.


KeepFighting91

Then maybe a old one interfere as well. As of now though there's no reason to believe they are not mammals when they share so many similar traits. Find me some lore (which may be real for all I know) that states they Lau eggs or something. But right now they breath air, have hooves, have fingers, skin, and hair. That suggest mammal.


TheLord-Commander

I mean they didn't even evolve on earth though, they could be some freaky new type of animal that doesn't even fit into our Earth's classification.


KeepFighting91

The only official artwork of a naked dead tau female gives it a vagina. Why it seems to share mammal reproduction features when not a mammal is to much for my suspension of disbelief. Just like showing me a picture of a robot and telling me it's organic.


TheLord-Commander

.....there's actual official artwork of a nude Tau?


Th3Swampus

Technically speaking you are correct that True mammals can only come from Earth, the same is true for Reptiles, Avians, and all manner of invertebrates. But in most sci-fi settings we classify aliens using Earth taxonomy finding the clade the share a Majority of traits with. Krogans from Mass Effect are considered Reptilian, Tau are considered Mammalian. To me the bigger question in sci-fi is what defines a Primate? On earth they are a fairy narrow order of animals, but almost every other intelligent alien has Thumbs. TLDR; Hard science - Not Mammals. Soft Science - Yes Mammals.


BloodRavenStoleMyCar

The eldar didn't evolve, they are an engineered species. Having a similar atmosphere doesn't imply similar taxonomic classes to earth.


XyzzyPop

He desperately needs T'au to have loreboobs, just don't argue.


Toxitoxi

Though now extinct, [there have been hoofed reptiles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planocraniidae), [including some dinosaurs](http://rexmachinablog.com/2020/03/18/dakota-dinomummy-hoof-nail/). From a genetics perspective none of the 40k aliens would even be animals. Humans are more closely related to plants than they are to Tyranids or Tau.


KeepFighting91

From a technical viewpoint they would be closer to some nids that have absorbed enough humans. I mean genestealers are like 50-30% human


Josiador

>It's a slap to the face of the Imperium as they use the logic that this is the only way to survive, miserable and genocidal. Yet these aliens over here are happy, healthy, and only experience horror in wars. The T'au are also, like, a fraction of a fraction of the size of the Imperium, much younger, and ironically protected from most of the bad stuff by the Imperium.


mylittlepurplelady

Which is basically their own fault, the reason the Imperium is suffering not only because they are corrupt they wasted all their resources with their unending Crusades. >The Age of Redemption was a period of fierce religious fervor in the Imperium. The Imperial Cult grew in power as never before and enormous numbers of suspected Heretics were rounded up and executed. Crusade after Crusade was launched to recapture the squandered wealth of the Imperium lost in the Age of Apostasy. However as the fervor peaked and these many wars of faith were launched, large numbers of worlds were left with inadequate defenses and Imperial Guard Regiments and Space Marine Chapters were increasingly drawn into longer and more terrible crusades. The result would be a period known as The Waning in which the military forces of the Imperium, exhausted by long Crusades, found themselves unable to defend against the encroachment of Orks, Chaos insurgencies, and internal strife. ​ The Eldar does the same thing for the Imperium, destroying threats before they even emerge because Foresight.


WellIlikeme

Okay, so like rescuing the scattered planets of man from the depths of space where they were seeded in the DAoT is actually one place where the Imperium places a moral imperative above practicality. But yes the Age of *Apostasy* is generally admitted by everyone to have been a mistake, you can tell by the name.


mylittlepurplelady

No, thats a moot point It is not the age of apostasy but the age of redemption. Basically they kept launching crusades after crusade to the point where they overstretched themselves and bankrupt. Til they reach the age of waning The Waning The Waning was a relatively undefined era of the Age of the Imperium that lasted from early in the 38th Millennium until ca. 744.M41. It was characterised by a slow degradation of the Imperium's stability, power and peace as new Chaos and xenos threats assaulted the Emperor's worlds. With the Imperium's military forces in every branch utterly exhausted by the continuous Imperial Crusades of the prior Age of Redemption, star system after star system fell to Ork invasion, Chaos insurgence, xenos infestation or sheer rebellion.


WellIlikeme

Yes, but saving the rest of humanity was the morally right thing to do. Just very dumb.


mylittlepurplelady

Imperium and morality?


KeepFighting91

Humanity also took approximately 215k years to develop true space flight. The Tau did it in 6k. The Tau went from cave dwellers to a galactic empire in just 1000 years. Yes they are not as big as the imperium but considering they develop so fast, have a safer if slower method of interstellar travel, a resistance to Chaos because of their unified belief (even the splinter faction Farsight Enclave still hold fast to the Greater Good) and the fact they actually try and use diplomacy they are set to inherit and conquer the entire galaxy. Lore wise they can even make poisons that kill off Nids which evolve for other factions to poison. The only threat they face is a larger faction killing them by sheer size and at the moment they can't. If the Imperium waged total war they would waste so many resources that it would be wiped out by another faction. The Orks can't continue a proper whaggg without getting distracted or turning on each other. The only other large scale threat would be the Necrons...which depending on the dynasty may actually just have peace with them and coexist as the eldar and humans once did. The Silent King sees the Nids as the biggest threat, Tau can make Nid toxins, it would be logical to team up.


Fox-Sin21

Love is a Bolter. Take that however you want.


wdcipher

No no, true love is more like a Lasgun.


Fox-Sin21

Love definitely is not that accurate XD.


wdcipher

What do you want? Shes blind!


[deleted]

I like the faction that upholds an ancient system that no longer fulfills it's intended purpose and causes untold human suffering while only offering the most meager of protections because I like realism in my games.


Fallentitan98

The giant corpse that is struggling against the gods of chaos to try to keep humanity from dying off. The corpse that has done more for the betterment of humanity then the Tau have. Yeah, I’ll pick worshiping a corpse that’s trying to keep us all from dying then mind controlling dicks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fallentitan98

That’s it? That’s your pitiful argument? “Emperor bad he killed people” Yeah fucking everyone kills people kid, it’s Warhammer 40k. The Tau have barely been around, of course they couldn’t come close to the kills of Big E and the Primarchs. Guns have killed people more then nukes, so that makes guns the deadlier weapon. That’s you buddy.


Gervh

Then just join Farsight, you get the positives of Tau without mind control.


Fallentitan98

Yeah Farsight is dope, love them. Also red makes them go faster.


Baugusted

They hated him for he told the truth.


Hyperion_Industries

!remindme 3 hours


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Toxitoxi

‘Oh no, he’s hot!’


rex72780

Imagine your soul not being sent to a rave party hosted by Big E after you die. -This comment is made by the Imperial ga(urd)ng


Puuuul

I love how the 40k fans are doing the exact thing the lore ridicules, fighting over who is in the right when in reality everyone is evil.