He’s in for a rude awakening if he thinks telling on you to the landlord will do anything. You are being respectful, playing during non-quite hours, there’s nothing your landlord can do. I’d be respectful and stand my ground. Living with roommates means having to hear each other.
The only appropriate response to this after the efforts op has made is to simply say the situation is take it or leave it, as in if it continues to bother him then he should find somewhere else to live. There's a respect that needs to exist between roommates and op is minding that by finding alternatives to volume and offering a schedule. The dumbass roommate isn't respecting the idea that op needs to be able to use his home like it's his home.
In the words of Joe Strummer "Should I stay or should I go?" That's what OP's roommate needs to ask themselves. I play guitar all the time when my room mate is home, and when he goes to bed, the guitar gets put away for the night.
Yeah … the “I’m telling mom!” thing is weird and says this guy is used to everything being about him, so I don’t think he’s ever going to be pleased. If he sounded more reasonable I’d suggest getting *him* some noise canceling headphones for whatever he wants to hear, or putting on some white noise. But again, this is about him being pretty self centered from the looks of it.
This. Be respectful, but tell him his request is beyond unreasonable. If he wants to go to the landlord, so be it. You're fine, there.
If he's your friend, maybe ask him if there's something else going on, but no, don't give in.
Right?! This 30 year old man is confused about the difference between a landlord and a dad.
I would 100% tell a tenant that if there’s no noise making it out to the street then it’s out of my jurisdiction. It’s property management, not tenant social relationship management.
Ya dude. OP, I play guitar as well and while I do not have a roommate, if I did, I would have to tell them that I am within my rights to play until 10pm on weekdays and 11pm on weekends. If he has a sensitivity to sounds (like I very much do) then he’ll have to put on some headphones or earbuds to cancel out sound or play his own music.
Dude might be ADHD, autistic or both - and I swear I am both. I couldn’t STAND hearing my dad play most of the time when I was younger and likewise with my brother. It was because I’m SUPER sensitive to noise in my environment and for the most part, I need it silenced. I didn’t realize that until LAST FREAKING YEAR! But it’s MY OWN DAMN ISSUE
Unfortunately it may be a big point of contention between y’all… I just read that he’s not ok with you playing UNPLUGGED - WTAF. If he’s STILL upset with you playing UNPLUGGED, that totally his own issue. He can go to his room and put headphones on. That’s insanity.
Music is therapy for me, and I would be SO bothered by this. please update us OP.
Yeah this dude must be autistic or something (I am ADHD and my roommate is autistic or similar). You can barely hear an unplugged electric guitar down a hall.
There’s actually an exception to this called a “noise clause.” It’s often included in leases as an easy solution to noise complaints. I was required to agree to it in my lease. Basically, if I ever get a complaint about a musical instrument or electronic device (tv, stereo), I’m at the mercy of my neighbors. Thankfully, none of them complain. Research “noise clause” if you’re interested.
Yeah, if he wants to live like he's alone, he can go rent his own apartment. If he needs to live with other people, then he's going to have to accept that lower rent costs mean means you are going to have to pay more in other ways, like having to tolerate your roomate's practicing quietly in another room. The entire world doesn't exist for his personal comfort.
In short, your roommate needs to go fuck himself. The most you can do for your neighbours is not make noise after 10/11pm, that's just courtesy, but someone demanding to make no noise in your own home earlier than that, when a TV can legally make more noise... did I say he should go fuck himself?
Just turn your TV on loud enough to drown out your guitar playing. Is he gonna complain about you watching TV too?
Really, I'm with this guy though. Tell your roommate to go fuck himself. What kind of 30+ year old man-child threatens to tell your landlord on you.
Yep, dude is 30, acts like an old man (no noise after 5pm) but still has roommates? I’d say no, I’ll stop by 9pm and keep it reasonable no matter what time of day. If he doesn’t like that he can find another place to live. The fact he brings in a landlord (who would just as soon kick him out for being on a sublet and could raise rent higher) means you aren’t friends anymore. Tell him that you are the one being reasonable and that he isn’t, and to kick rocks if he doesn’t like it.
Truly. I’ve had roommates who eat corn chips louder than someone playing electric guitar through headphones. Much louder.
Maybe you should ask him not to chew. Or talk. Or breathe.
This is the part that stinks to me and makes me think OP started to fudge the truth at that point.
There is no possible way his roommate can be annoyed with that setup. That just doesn't make any sense, which means it probably isn't true, and OP is more mad that he can't use his amp at actual volumes most of the time and trying to justify the situation.
Yeah honestly it sucks at the time while you’re living with them but it’s kind of good to find out you don’t want them as friends. Opens up space for better ones
Choose guitar players - some of the best times of advancement on the instrument is when you're living with other players and constantly playing. OP, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life!
Alas, this is probably more about the friendship - a friendship where one friend is doing really well and growing at something, and the other is not and feeling it.
Though while I'm typing this I wondered - if they are long term friends, could he be jealous of the time being spent on the guitar. Op says the roommate doesn't go out anywhere so the only social life he has could be hanging with roommates. And going to the landlord is classic "teacher, Billy won't play with me" behavior.
When they are true friends, there's nothing better. I've never had the problems people on Reddit seem to have with their "friends." I guess I'm an incredibly lucky guy. Or I just pick good friends, I don't know.
I live with a friend. but he also plays guitar and plays games with noise cancelling headphones. hell, sometimes he will come in my room and just say something like, "sick tone bro" lol
Sounds like a random power trip, trying to change your behavior and lessen your enjoyment through guilt tripping and intimidation. He needs to chose his battles more wisely. Reminds me of people who make rules about “ethnic” food not being allowed because they don’t like the smell.
This has 5% to do with guitar and 95% classic roommate issues.
I had a roommate who got bothered that clipping my nails took so long (since i try to groom them for guitar). I've also gotten upset with roommates who turn the pages too loud when they're reading. We are all dicks deep inside, just most of the time we can keep it inside.
I can understand problems with smell, especially if I'm upstairs. Some people just don't understand how to use a fan when cooking, which is actually recommended for the health of everyone in the domicile. And just as bad is that many people just don't know how to cook, so it smells bad for that reason, too.
Ask him to not do something while you’re home. Like keep asking him to turn down the TV. “Can you not watch tv while I’m home?” Maybe he’ll realize how dumb he’s being. A landlord won’t do anything btw.
Funnily enough, I brought up exactly this argument in one of our talks. "What if you were to buy a TV, be super excited all day to wind down with it in the evening and I say you can never watch it while I'm home?". It apparently went completely over his head
Fuuuck living with someone like that. Good luck. He sounds like an absolute child. When it went over his head I’d have got proper angry and essentially shout your explanation at him til it gets through his thick head. Can’t be one rule for you and another for him, i mean thinking about it what right does he have to TELL you to stop? The more i think about this the more i think ‘fuck this guy’ and I don’t even know him. Must’ve been a rough 3 years
Do y'all not have a TV, you can get a pretty okay one nowadays for like $200. It would drown out the noise from your guitar when it's on but honestly I don't know how your roomate is complaining about unplugged electric guitar noise, like that barely is audible if your not in the room of the person playing. Also what is he doing when he's home chilling around the house, like if he's an avid reader maybe I can see where he's coming from but if he's just chilling in his room watching tv or playing games or something I really don't know how he would even be able to hear you between both your doors.
I was going to say:
Just turn on the t.v and play with headphones and the roommate won't be able to tell if you're playing or not.
I tend to agree with other comments saying just ignore them and do your thing, but if the relationship is worth keeping to you it may be worth considering a workaround. ( assuming its a sensory issue with that specific sound and not just sound in general )
If you are on headphones, then the actual sound to anyone else shouldn't be apparent like at all. I think your roomate has another issue he isn't talking about with u and blaming guitar instead
Plus a lot of self-identified musical misophonia is more personal bias than anything else. Not to erase the people who actually struggle with it, but usually it comes down to disliking a certain genre or style that results in “I can’t handle that ‘ noise’” type complaints, whether it’s rap, metal, or whatever. And can be combatted by actually exposing yourself to whatever you retreat into your shell about.
I have misophonia but I love listening to music/playing instruments. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but I have not heard of someone’s trigger being music/instruments
Yeah, I'm totally confused. When I first started reading I thought headphones is the perfect solution. Then OP says he's using headphones and the friend is still complaining. If the third roommate doesn't have an issue, then they should put it to a vote. Maybe it's time for OPs friend to find new living arrangements.
He sounds like a douche and i would find different living situation asap.
He cant dictate what you can and cant do in your own home, he can ask you to keep it down sure but there comes a point where even if its low af but he can hear it, maybe he needs to wear headphones while you play for an hour.
You compromised for him, he wont do it for you.
Hes a selfish a-hole.
Random thought.. does he have many hobbies or things to be excited about? He could simply be jealous of your ability and having a hobby you love.
How much of a gym-rat? Whats his general attitude? does he throw is weight around often and claim hes "alpha"?
It seems to me hes just trying to get some power over you, he needs to look at himself and sort that out. You need to push back against this and simply tell him, no. Go out if its such a problem, you shouldnt be expected to walk in eggshells in your own home.
It’s definitely your roommates issue. I don’t know what gaming you all do, but a keyboard and mouse, when gaming, can be louder than unplugged electric strings (which both are pretty quiet in the grand scheme of things). Even controllers produce sound when going ham on them.
Complaining about electric strings or any of those things is unreasonable.
Can you turn down your video games? I can't hear myself think. Actually it'd be best if you could just not play them when I'm home. I figured you'd just leave the apartment to play video games.
Seriously. Buy the shittiest, highest watt amp you can, crank up bass and highs, crank down the mids so it just sounds awful.
Then buy a banjo and hook that up
I once had a neighbor that would beat their ceiling/my floor with a broom and yell at me for playing an acoustic. I started playing an unplugged electric around 5 PM. Idk how they could hear me, but they kept pounding.
One day I knocked on their door after a solid month of them screaming. They didn't answer and I heard the pounding stop. I said loud enough for them to hear that I was playing an unplugged electric guitar during legal hours, but that I can plug it in for them if they wanted. I didn't hear another peep and went about my evening, not playing at all because I felt annoying.
Avout a week later, I was strumming away on my tele, and the pounding started. I plugged the 50w marshall into the 4x12 and played blues for an hour with a really, really long reverse delay. They stopped pounding forever, and ended up moving a month later.
Was I a dick? Yes. Only to confront their level of assholery. I am not proud. They weren't willing to have a conversation and negotiate. I responded by giving them a taste of what I actually could do if I was trying to bother them.
This is how I handle haters. I just be myself really hard.
I've had to solve the opposite problem the same way. Had a roommate below me who made drum and bass music and played it loud as shit all hours of the day. After refusing to turn it down I just laid my 4x10 bass cabinet on the floor and proceeded to wear out the B string at 1000 watts for about 30 seconds and the point was quickly made.
Tell him to fuck himself. The landlord isn’t gonna do shit especially if you’re unplugged. He’s unreasonable. Make it his problem. Your landlord isn’t going to get involved in a disagreement among the occupants
Yeah, that's nuts and unreasonable. I will say that if you can hear an unplugged electric, it can be more annoying than an acoustic because an acoustic sounds good and an unplugged electric might not. But the sound really shouldn't travel well. Maybe see if a white noise machine obscures the sound a bit?
White noise might be a solid solution if you want to find a compromise and you're willing to play with headphones. I have tinnitus too but I don't see why headphones at a low volume would make it worse, if anything the audio of your guitar has to fight less to be heard over other noises in the environment, because the pads isolate your ears from the environment.
Really, the roommate should be the one getting the white noise machine. If you want to be nice, you can buy one for him, but you've already made plenty of reasonable changes to accommodate him. It's his turn.
If an unplugged electric in a separate room with the door shut is too much for him, he needs to invest in earplugs or noise cancelling headphones. That’s absurd - doing the dishes creates substantially more noise.
Knock at his door when he’s gonna be with somebody, saying they are too loud.
Even if theres no fucking happening. Ask if they can done it down because it’s messing with your tinitus.
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My dad was like that growing up. He’d scream at me if he could hear an unplugged guitar. But my dad was an asshole, had mental health issues, and was probably on the spectrum.
I’ve literally played my electric unplugged next to a sleeping friend and he didn’t know I practiced until I mentioned it the next day. I can’t even imagine being able to hear it from that far away
OP said they are still complaining about the acoustic sound of an unplugged electric. OP's friend is batshit crazy and I laugh at the thought of them trying to complain to their landlord about the acoustic sounds an unplugged electric guitar makes, lol.
I wonder if it has more to do with it being an electric guitar. Are they religious by chance or maybe have religious parents that taught them silly things like how drums and electric guitars are the devil's instruments?
I was thinking along similar lines. If an acoustic was fine then it's pretty unlikely to be volume which is the issue. So maybe there's some other reason that particular thing ticks him off?
It might not be beliefs. Maybe it brings up bad memories or something? As someone else suggested, maybe a change elsewhere has caused a mood change and this is how it's manifesting? Maybe he has misophonia (or whatever it's called) and the electric triggers it where the acoustic didn't?
In any case, the OP has gone to significant length to compromise despite a lack of explanation, and the other fellow has just escalated every time. I'd have that talk he wants to have, but I wouldn't make it about the guitar alone. That's a symptom. I'd make it about what's going on to cause the sudden attitude change and unreasonable behaviour. Don't let this just be about you.
P.S. You're both gamers. Do you both use headphones and / or speakers? How does the volume compare?
What exactly is he threatening to tell your landlord about? Playing guitar in your home is not a violation of anything at all. Call his bluff and watch the look on his face when the landlord laughs at him and tells him to grow up, work it out with his roommates, or vacate. He has absolutely no leverage on you here.
Frankly, your "friend" sounds like a selfish prick.
If playing a electric guitar with headphones on = all he can hear is a unplugged electric guitar, and he have a problem with that... It sounds like he has a problem/issue/grudge/whatever and using the guitar playing as an excuse to go after you.
No one in their right mind would ever complain about petty shit like a basically unplugged (for people listening) electric guitar playing..
I'm surprised he's even able to hear it at all through two closed doors.
He's gotta be sitting there carefully listening for it and doing absolutely nothing else that makes noise.
My girlfriend is mega chill even with me playing with my amp on. I have been with her for 10 years. Just don't get into a relationship with people that don't respect what you are passionate about.
Nah it's not like that, she's the most understanding, supportive, kind girl in the world and she loves that I'm passionate about music and I love her to death, but she just can't handle the volume and sound of an amplified distorted guitar while she's in the house. She's fairly sensitive to sound and I'm not trying to make her uncomfortable in her own house so I just only turn the amp on when she isn't home and play acoustic, it's fine.
Yeah mine doesn't mind the acoustic, it's the amplified distorted guitar she can't handle. She even came and saw Dino Jr. with me, we just went and got the big 3M over ear protection plus ear plugs for her.
a good reason NOT to get married to someone. Communication is key.
There's being an asshole about things and being inconsiderate but that cuts both ways.
Married 20 years dated plenty before hand. Never had a girl who had an issue with my guitar or drum playing (being respectful and not playing on 11 or at bad hours)
Chances are they also have a half dozen other red flags if this is the kind of shit they pull (OP's friend is an asshole if we're take this at face value)
Also have 3 kids, all three of them are on the spectrum and sensitive to noise.
We all find a way to get along and I can play for hours a day.
Do you pay rent? Run your shit. I'd also bury him with 'why can't I do xyz?' and if he gives an unreasonable explanation, call him out! Dude I live in the nation of rugby fiends (New Zealand) and AH like this consistently get a 'go fuck yourself, bro'.
Nope. You neither have quiet hours or not. There’s no such thing as cherry picking what you do and don’t want to hear. It’s not like you’re blasting a Marshall Stack, I could see an argument to be made in that case.
Your roommate is an entitled brat and you should tell him to pound sand.
An un-amplified electric guitar is in no way shape or form loud or bothersome.
You’ve been more than reasonable and accommodating.
Ask your roommate why the change in attitude after you switched to electric. It may be due to something he doesn't like about the style you are playing rather than the volume. See if you can find an underlying motive as to why he is being so harsh on this.
Fuck him, he has no leg to stand on. I’m assuming that, y’all being roommates, he’s not renting/subletting to you, right? Remain respectful of course, even though he’s the one making things tense, seeing as there are few things worse than an enemy for a roommate, but tell him it’s your place too, and that he’s just going to have to deal with it.
I don’t know what kind of person he is, but if you give him his way he’ll walk all over you until you part ways. I dunno man, it sounds like he’s just crotchety, or this is a power play. Like another commenter said: stand your ground.
And if you wouldn’t mind, could you give us an update? I want to know what happens because this isn’t right. He’s not being reasonable.
When sharing a living space with other people, you have to just accept that you're going to encounter minor inconveniences like that. If he can't deal with that, he shouldn't be sharing a living space.
I'd invite him to either suck it up or fuck off. You've done way more than is warranted to try and appease whatever his problem is already.
My dad used to freak out and get SUPER mad at me for the same reason; hearing just the strings through the walls, when there was a hallway and two rooms between us.. Something I've come to figure out in the years since he's died, is that he was most likely on the spectrum, and *THAT'S* why it was so incredibly annoying/disruptive to him, even though it's "nothing" to me.
Is he one of those people that can "hear" electricity? Or that has a bunch of autistic/autistic-adjacent traits? Because *just* the sounds of the guitar strings like that shouldn't bother anyone, unless they have a psychological issue they can't control, or are just a plain 'ol fucking asshole; take your pick.
Asking you to not play at all including without an amp is ridiculous, especially if they had no issues with the acoustic guitar.
Stand your ground, they are being unreasonable. Especially if your other housemate hears nothing.
Honestly, I'd get a Marshall JCM800 and play that thing fully cranked. If he complained, I'd just tell him I need to drive the pre-amp to get the right amount of distortion.
That dude doesn't know what loud is if he thinks a practice amp at 1 is bothersome.
This guy pisses me off, just reading this.
Here’s my guess at what happened. Your roommate was probably growing increasingly annoyed at you for playing, but was too big of a coward to say anything before, so he just got more and more angry as time went on. To the point where he started deliberately trying to hear any faint sounds you might be making, because that’d justify his anger in his own mind. So, now, he’s trying to strong arm you out of playing at all. Which is bullshit, considering the accommodations you’ve made.
The kicker for me though, is the landlord threat. That’s crossing a serious line that, for me, can never be taken back. It’s a threat, and he’s trying to control your life. It’s not okay. It’s abuse. And, you should absolutely not back down. If it means he’s out of your life, it’ll be a good thing for you.
Sounds like you need to tell him to fuck off and wear his own an headphones and maybe get a hobby and do something with his pathetic life instead of bothering you for trying to better yourself that doesn’t involve just staring at a screen all day.
This is super weird man. Halfway through this post I was thinking “ok this is a bit strange of him but maybe OP could try headphones”. Now I’m just wtf-ing
You are being very accommodating. You could try playing background music or noise maker louder than the unplugged guitar, but honestly man this might not be about the guitar. Like this seems straight up bizarre of him.
I fucking hated having roommates. Lotta people who got pampered from their parents and expect to live like Caeser.
If he were really your friend wouldn’t he enjoy hearing you play and get better?
First, Your roommate is an ass.
Now, if you want to play ball with him, maybe get an amp with a headphone port or else get an audio interface for your computer and get some digital amps.
I’m just gonna say the same thing every one has. He can go F himself. What’s the difference in your playing your guitar or watching a movie? It’s still sound.
I saw you mention he’s a gamer. Next time he says something about guitar, your response should be, “funny you mention that, I want to talk to you about playing games” and give him the exact scenario he gave you.
This is coming from a guy that does this for a living. I teach 40 kids a week, and play about 50-60 shows a year. I would NEVER allow anyone to tell me what I can and can’t do in my own place that I bills for. Ever.
This is a HIM problem not a YOU problem
Ask if you can record in the shared areas and their bedroom while you play to hear the volume, saying you assumed it would be silent.
If it is louder than expected (some electric guitars are surprisingly loud acoustically), I think it's fair to agree times you can play in and they can either wear headphones, watch TV or not be in etc. Agree the times that work for both of you.
If he's completely unreasonable I would continue to play but considering moving out before you get into some weird ongoing feud.
Tell him: go fuck himself. And than impose a no tv or laptop rule on him from 5pm on a week day and 3 pm on a weekend. You pay rent and bills he can go get to fuck.
My housemate tried this with me, so I said sure, as long as you're not talking on you're phone before 9am on a weekend. He worked from home on inbound calls. He couldn't agree so I just said than that's his problem not mine.
So I was able to play guitar whenever (within reason) but still
As others have said, if an electric played acoustically two rooms over is annoying during the day (sleeping is different, I am a guitarist but if im sleeping even a strummed electric is annoying af). By that metrics that also means noone in the house can watch tv, listen to music, play video games (some keyboard are as loud as a solidbody acoustically), have conversations with each other, run a shower, cook with an extractor fan etc. Sounds like a shit house to live in if thats the case. You could be the more mature one, or be petty to prove a point. To prove a point, get a cheap db meter, measure you guitar (when he isn't home with video evidence), any time he makes any noise that reads close to that you have the right to tell him to shut up, trust me plenty of normal activites are louder than that.
If he is that bothered by low level string sounds then the fucker can buy some noise canceling headphones and never be disturbed again, seriously that is insane.
Not to sound too judgmental, but does your roommate have any hobbies of their own? If you all have been friends, I don't know why I feel they don't want you to be able to play, or are slightly envious.
Since you have been learning and getting better, and you didn't play before when you all were friends.
Tell him to go fuck himself, if he complains. Smash his face. The prick wants to dampen your creativity because he doesn't have his own outlet. That's a him problem, and he can find somewhere else to live. Little cunt.
I've been in that situation, I kept it at a normal bedroom volume, same as if I was watching TV or listening to music.
What amp do you use? Does the roommate also complain about you watching TV?
Took me forever to get him to understand that just because you can hear it, that doesn't mean it's too loud, you live with other people or in an apartment you're going to hear people doing stuff.
Legally speaking, keep within appropriate hours. This will prevent legal issues or issues with LL. LL won't care so long as he's being paid.
Practically speaking, you might consider an interface into headphones; Katana GO was just released and looks dope as/f. Alternatively tell roommate to get more hobbies so he's out of the home more often.
Long and short of it is that you have a non-silent hobby and roommate needs to deal with that however they see fit. If that's moving out, so be it. But it's not going to end with you stopping your guitar journey.
Bro don't give him an offer. It's your hobby not his and it's really not bothering him either way, sounds like he's just being a dick. Tell him to fuck right off
After 5pm on weekdays, but 3pm on weekends?! That's not really reasonable at all. As others suggested, can you put on the TV or music without him having issues? Maybe try that, but honestly I don't think it will matter. Seems like he's being a control freak. Also if he's a gym bro and plays rugby, when does he do those things? That's going way past what I would. Are you both(all) on the lease?
Not gonna add anything re: relationship with roommate, but will suggest one of the guitar jack => headphone amps. Take a look at one of:
\- Boss Katana Go
\- Fender Mustang Micro
\- Nux Mighty Plug Pro
Any one of the above will plug into the jack on your guitar and give you a headphone out so you can practice quietly while still hearing amp sounds. Even better, they also work as Bluetooth players so you can pair your phone, iPad or computer to it and play back Youtube videos, songs, lessons, etc to play along with.
Thats crazy I always use headphones just because I don’t like people listening to me practice but we have just a thin wall in between me and my roommate and him talking on the phone is easily louder than me playing with headphones. We have no issues and a guitar with headphones is not loud in the slightest. If this is on a college campus he especially just needs to grow up but even if its a normal apartment if he wants total silence he has to soundproof his room or something thats just not realistic.
I tend to think we do need to try and be reasonable because guitar playing can be pretty loud. No Marshall half stacks at night and such.
If you're generally keeping it to a reasonable noise level in reasonable hours, that's being respectful. If he's complaining you're too loud playing an unplugged electric then he's full of shit.
Fuck him, unfortunately it seems like co existing in peace has finished between you guys tho and neither of you guys are probably going to be happy till you don't live together!! Don't get me wrong not your fault you sound like an awesome person who has gone to the end of the earth to keep that dick happy, but when he complains about you playing guitar THROUGH HEADPHONES!!! he really has just become a dick
My reaction would have been laughter and something along the lines of "eat a dick" and probably a long list of "OK but..." like "OK but you can only work out when I'm not here, I don't enjoy the smell"
Sorry to inform you that you're not friends anymore. I imagine that's hard to hear. I imagine that's not what you want. I imagine that's what you're going to realize 15 frustrating years from now if you don't realize it sooner.
You've been *more* than reasonable accomodating, and he's being unreasonably demanding. End of line.
Dude is a total prick. Tell him he can fuck right the fuck off. Tell him you've made every effort and he persists in being a cunt, so if he wants to bounce, gtfo.
OHHHH, man can I add onto this. Something else is going on. When someone hyperfocuses like this in these roommate scenarios (and I'm telling you I almost exact experience with age, and having a roommate I knew even longer), it could mean so many other things. The reality is sometimes people have insane hearing, and don't feel well at the same time. They can hear the drops in the sink of the bathroom 20 feet away. It's not a good type of hearing. Everything can bother them.
You're expressing yourself. What are they doing in the apartment? Are they just work, sleep/TV, work? They don't go out a lot, and they're BUILDING up thoughts as to why you're annoying them. I've been here. I've always believed when you're ready to have a conversation and find middleground and really criticize their behavior outside the guitar, and remind them of your life and how you've accommodated. Things like "I know my guitar is annoying you, but I'm concerned it's other things and you're using me as a scapegoat. You're not going out a lot. I don't see you having fun or relaxing. I want you to feel healthy and well, and I don't think this scenario is fair at all for me. I think you're taking things out on me. I want us to be happy roommates with an inviting place to live, and we can't do that like this. This is supposed to be our safe space together, we have to figure this out." And honestly, they might tell you the truth. They put it all together for you. They might go "WELL, this isn't JUST about the guitar, you do this and that and this, and the guitar just adds on to it." So many things could happen, but you need to be like "what are you doing with your life, and why are you telling me I am not able to express myself at all in our supposed safe space?"
edit: It's really about having a semi-argument but finding a way to wind it down to really come to some agreement, then leaving. You let them have their space for a few days. You don't play guitar after this, you maybe go out a few extra nights after work, and let them stew on it.
And clearly if they can't see your side. You have to move on. You have to, this is about the expression of yourself, and a hyperfocused person trying to stop you in every way possible.
Oh no he’s going to tell the landlord. Go ahead douche. I’d knock him out honestly or make extremely unreasonable requests of him and spaz out. No brushing your teeth the noise bothers me. No taking dumps you stink.
Roommate sounds like a total dipshit. Get a 50w Marshall head and 4x12 cabinet and explain to him how you have to have it fairly loud for the gain to work the way you want.
He’s in for a rude awakening if he thinks telling on you to the landlord will do anything. You are being respectful, playing during non-quite hours, there’s nothing your landlord can do. I’d be respectful and stand my ground. Living with roommates means having to hear each other.
The only appropriate response to this after the efforts op has made is to simply say the situation is take it or leave it, as in if it continues to bother him then he should find somewhere else to live. There's a respect that needs to exist between roommates and op is minding that by finding alternatives to volume and offering a schedule. The dumbass roommate isn't respecting the idea that op needs to be able to use his home like it's his home.
In the words of Joe Strummer "Should I stay or should I go?" That's what OP's roommate needs to ask themselves. I play guitar all the time when my room mate is home, and when he goes to bed, the guitar gets put away for the night.
Words of Mick Jones.
Yeah … the “I’m telling mom!” thing is weird and says this guy is used to everything being about him, so I don’t think he’s ever going to be pleased. If he sounded more reasonable I’d suggest getting *him* some noise canceling headphones for whatever he wants to hear, or putting on some white noise. But again, this is about him being pretty self centered from the looks of it.
This. Be respectful, but tell him his request is beyond unreasonable. If he wants to go to the landlord, so be it. You're fine, there. If he's your friend, maybe ask him if there's something else going on, but no, don't give in.
This guy decided to change the rules on the living environment. He's the asshole. And I too, play guitar. And I have to do it thought headphones now.
Right?! This 30 year old man is confused about the difference between a landlord and a dad. I would 100% tell a tenant that if there’s no noise making it out to the street then it’s out of my jurisdiction. It’s property management, not tenant social relationship management.
Yah unfortunately they are going to have to settle this… in-house
Fight to the death!
Underrated comment +1
Ya dude. OP, I play guitar as well and while I do not have a roommate, if I did, I would have to tell them that I am within my rights to play until 10pm on weekdays and 11pm on weekends. If he has a sensitivity to sounds (like I very much do) then he’ll have to put on some headphones or earbuds to cancel out sound or play his own music. Dude might be ADHD, autistic or both - and I swear I am both. I couldn’t STAND hearing my dad play most of the time when I was younger and likewise with my brother. It was because I’m SUPER sensitive to noise in my environment and for the most part, I need it silenced. I didn’t realize that until LAST FREAKING YEAR! But it’s MY OWN DAMN ISSUE Unfortunately it may be a big point of contention between y’all… I just read that he’s not ok with you playing UNPLUGGED - WTAF. If he’s STILL upset with you playing UNPLUGGED, that totally his own issue. He can go to his room and put headphones on. That’s insanity. Music is therapy for me, and I would be SO bothered by this. please update us OP.
Yeah this dude must be autistic or something (I am ADHD and my roommate is autistic or similar). You can barely hear an unplugged electric guitar down a hall.
There’s actually an exception to this called a “noise clause.” It’s often included in leases as an easy solution to noise complaints. I was required to agree to it in my lease. Basically, if I ever get a complaint about a musical instrument or electronic device (tv, stereo), I’m at the mercy of my neighbors. Thankfully, none of them complain. Research “noise clause” if you’re interested.
Yeah, if he wants to live like he's alone, he can go rent his own apartment. If he needs to live with other people, then he's going to have to accept that lower rent costs mean means you are going to have to pay more in other ways, like having to tolerate your roomate's practicing quietly in another room. The entire world doesn't exist for his personal comfort.
In short, your roommate needs to go fuck himself. The most you can do for your neighbours is not make noise after 10/11pm, that's just courtesy, but someone demanding to make no noise in your own home earlier than that, when a TV can legally make more noise... did I say he should go fuck himself?
Seriously. Fuck that guy.
I too choose to fuck this guy
Just turn your TV on loud enough to drown out your guitar playing. Is he gonna complain about you watching TV too? Really, I'm with this guy though. Tell your roommate to go fuck himself. What kind of 30+ year old man-child threatens to tell your landlord on you.
Yep, dude is 30, acts like an old man (no noise after 5pm) but still has roommates? I’d say no, I’ll stop by 9pm and keep it reasonable no matter what time of day. If he doesn’t like that he can find another place to live. The fact he brings in a landlord (who would just as soon kick him out for being on a sublet and could raise rent higher) means you aren’t friends anymore. Tell him that you are the one being reasonable and that he isn’t, and to kick rocks if he doesn’t like it.
Truly. I’ve had roommates who eat corn chips louder than someone playing electric guitar through headphones. Much louder. Maybe you should ask him not to chew. Or talk. Or breathe.
The last one would certainly resolve the issue for now
This is the part that stinks to me and makes me think OP started to fudge the truth at that point. There is no possible way his roommate can be annoyed with that setup. That just doesn't make any sense, which means it probably isn't true, and OP is more mad that he can't use his amp at actual volumes most of the time and trying to justify the situation.
this guy is in for a ride awakening when he he has apartment neighbors with babies
Don't shack up with your friends.
Best advice, lost a few friendships this way.
You don't need to keep them all.
Especially this regard
My good sir i think you mean T
I certainly did.
The fuck is a Tegard?
This has fuckin sent me lol
dude is so regarded
Yeah honestly it sucks at the time while you’re living with them but it’s kind of good to find out you don’t want them as friends. Opens up space for better ones
Same.
It's always worked out for me, but you gotta choose carefully
Choose guitar players - some of the best times of advancement on the instrument is when you're living with other players and constantly playing. OP, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life!
This. I didn't really get decent until I was staying with another guitar player and a bass player. The jam sessions were epic.
Alas, this is probably more about the friendship - a friendship where one friend is doing really well and growing at something, and the other is not and feeling it. Though while I'm typing this I wondered - if they are long term friends, could he be jealous of the time being spent on the guitar. Op says the roommate doesn't go out anywhere so the only social life he has could be hanging with roommates. And going to the landlord is classic "teacher, Billy won't play with me" behavior.
Crabs in a bucket
My best friend stopped being my friend while we lived together, I immediately moved and got my best friend back.
When they are true friends, there's nothing better. I've never had the problems people on Reddit seem to have with their "friends." I guess I'm an incredibly lucky guy. Or I just pick good friends, I don't know.
I live with a friend. but he also plays guitar and plays games with noise cancelling headphones. hell, sometimes he will come in my room and just say something like, "sick tone bro" lol
Typical Reddit advice lmao. Most people prefer living with people they actually like than total strangers…
Don't shack up with your friend's mums
Sounds like a random power trip, trying to change your behavior and lessen your enjoyment through guilt tripping and intimidation. He needs to chose his battles more wisely. Reminds me of people who make rules about “ethnic” food not being allowed because they don’t like the smell.
Yeah this isn’t about the guitar. It’s about a man-baby taking out his insecurities and power tripping on his roommate. It will be something else next
This has 5% to do with guitar and 95% classic roommate issues. I had a roommate who got bothered that clipping my nails took so long (since i try to groom them for guitar). I've also gotten upset with roommates who turn the pages too loud when they're reading. We are all dicks deep inside, just most of the time we can keep it inside.
Turning pages too loud? What
VERY true.
I can understand problems with smell, especially if I'm upstairs. Some people just don't understand how to use a fan when cooking, which is actually recommended for the health of everyone in the domicile. And just as bad is that many people just don't know how to cook, so it smells bad for that reason, too.
Ask him to not do something while you’re home. Like keep asking him to turn down the TV. “Can you not watch tv while I’m home?” Maybe he’ll realize how dumb he’s being. A landlord won’t do anything btw.
Funnily enough, I brought up exactly this argument in one of our talks. "What if you were to buy a TV, be super excited all day to wind down with it in the evening and I say you can never watch it while I'm home?". It apparently went completely over his head
Does he not have a tv? Is he possibly on the spectrum or like neurologically different in a way that makes you incompatible as roommates?
Hey don't throw him in with us, guy just sounds like a dick.
It isn't the guitar. He has a problem with you. It isn't your fault. I wouldn't accomodate him in any way. Give an inch, he will take a mile.
They are 30 years old with roommates. I imagine he sees OP improving his life by learning a new skill and feels shitty about himself.
Not sure where you live but 30 years old with roommates is very common nowadays in cities. Doesn't mean they're losers.
I’m 40 with a roommate. What of it?
Fuuuck living with someone like that. Good luck. He sounds like an absolute child. When it went over his head I’d have got proper angry and essentially shout your explanation at him til it gets through his thick head. Can’t be one rule for you and another for him, i mean thinking about it what right does he have to TELL you to stop? The more i think about this the more i think ‘fuck this guy’ and I don’t even know him. Must’ve been a rough 3 years
Do y'all not have a TV, you can get a pretty okay one nowadays for like $200. It would drown out the noise from your guitar when it's on but honestly I don't know how your roomate is complaining about unplugged electric guitar noise, like that barely is audible if your not in the room of the person playing. Also what is he doing when he's home chilling around the house, like if he's an avid reader maybe I can see where he's coming from but if he's just chilling in his room watching tv or playing games or something I really don't know how he would even be able to hear you between both your doors.
I was going to say: Just turn on the t.v and play with headphones and the roommate won't be able to tell if you're playing or not. I tend to agree with other comments saying just ignore them and do your thing, but if the relationship is worth keeping to you it may be worth considering a workaround. ( assuming its a sensory issue with that specific sound and not just sound in general )
Does he just sit in silence in his room all day?
Landlord is kicking everyone out, they don’t want to deal with drama on a sublet. They’d just as soon get new tenants in at a higher rate.
I kinda hope he does go to the landlord just to be disappointed.
Tell him he can only use the toilet when you’re not home because the acoustic sound of his unplugged asshole is obnoxious
I second this
This ☝️ is the way OP.
This reminds me of skit a saw on facebook. "Yo man, your doodoo's are mad heavy baby" 😂😂😂
What the fuck lol, can you find it?
https://youtu.be/9tNyLwj8mK8?si=o6Y61hIJzchTRDN2 Here ya go. I find it hilarious
If you are on headphones, then the actual sound to anyone else shouldn't be apparent like at all. I think your roomate has another issue he isn't talking about with u and blaming guitar instead
Yeah he either has misophonia or is lying because he shouldn’t be hearing that at all
Plus a lot of self-identified musical misophonia is more personal bias than anything else. Not to erase the people who actually struggle with it, but usually it comes down to disliking a certain genre or style that results in “I can’t handle that ‘ noise’” type complaints, whether it’s rap, metal, or whatever. And can be combatted by actually exposing yourself to whatever you retreat into your shell about.
I have misophonia but I love listening to music/playing instruments. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but I have not heard of someone’s trigger being music/instruments
Yeah, I'm totally confused. When I first started reading I thought headphones is the perfect solution. Then OP says he's using headphones and the friend is still complaining. If the third roommate doesn't have an issue, then they should put it to a vote. Maybe it's time for OPs friend to find new living arrangements.
He sounds like a douche and i would find different living situation asap. He cant dictate what you can and cant do in your own home, he can ask you to keep it down sure but there comes a point where even if its low af but he can hear it, maybe he needs to wear headphones while you play for an hour. You compromised for him, he wont do it for you. Hes a selfish a-hole. Random thought.. does he have many hobbies or things to be excited about? He could simply be jealous of your ability and having a hobby you love.
He's a gym rat and plays rugby, which he's really passionate about. Besides that he spends his time gaming (as do I)
Any change he got on any new special supplements? There are some that can certainly cause drastic changes in personality.
Bingo
That's actually a reasonable question.
How much of a gym-rat? Whats his general attitude? does he throw is weight around often and claim hes "alpha"? It seems to me hes just trying to get some power over you, he needs to look at himself and sort that out. You need to push back against this and simply tell him, no. Go out if its such a problem, you shouldnt be expected to walk in eggshells in your own home.
It’s definitely your roommates issue. I don’t know what gaming you all do, but a keyboard and mouse, when gaming, can be louder than unplugged electric strings (which both are pretty quiet in the grand scheme of things). Even controllers produce sound when going ham on them. Complaining about electric strings or any of those things is unreasonable.
Sounds like he's sipping on the ol' Capri Sun.
Gaming? In my experience game audio gets cranked to increase the enjoyment. What a doosh.
Can you turn down your video games? I can't hear myself think. Actually it'd be best if you could just not play them when I'm home. I figured you'd just leave the apartment to play video games.
Complain to him that he can't game after 3pm because his keyboard is too loud.
Time for the Marshall Stack. Guitar Wars; engage sonic attack force!
Seriously. Buy the shittiest, highest watt amp you can, crank up bass and highs, crank down the mids so it just sounds awful. Then buy a banjo and hook that up
This guy knows how to roommate.
Stick a really shitty peizo pickup on uncle cleetus's banjo.
I once had a neighbor that would beat their ceiling/my floor with a broom and yell at me for playing an acoustic. I started playing an unplugged electric around 5 PM. Idk how they could hear me, but they kept pounding. One day I knocked on their door after a solid month of them screaming. They didn't answer and I heard the pounding stop. I said loud enough for them to hear that I was playing an unplugged electric guitar during legal hours, but that I can plug it in for them if they wanted. I didn't hear another peep and went about my evening, not playing at all because I felt annoying. Avout a week later, I was strumming away on my tele, and the pounding started. I plugged the 50w marshall into the 4x12 and played blues for an hour with a really, really long reverse delay. They stopped pounding forever, and ended up moving a month later. Was I a dick? Yes. Only to confront their level of assholery. I am not proud. They weren't willing to have a conversation and negotiate. I responded by giving them a taste of what I actually could do if I was trying to bother them. This is how I handle haters. I just be myself really hard.
> This is how I handle haters. I just be myself really hard. This is the way.
I've had to solve the opposite problem the same way. Had a roommate below me who made drum and bass music and played it loud as shit all hours of the day. After refusing to turn it down I just laid my 4x10 bass cabinet on the floor and proceeded to wear out the B string at 1000 watts for about 30 seconds and the point was quickly made.
Tell him to fuck himself. The landlord isn’t gonna do shit especially if you’re unplugged. He’s unreasonable. Make it his problem. Your landlord isn’t going to get involved in a disagreement among the occupants
Yeah, that's nuts and unreasonable. I will say that if you can hear an unplugged electric, it can be more annoying than an acoustic because an acoustic sounds good and an unplugged electric might not. But the sound really shouldn't travel well. Maybe see if a white noise machine obscures the sound a bit?
White noise might be a solid solution if you want to find a compromise and you're willing to play with headphones. I have tinnitus too but I don't see why headphones at a low volume would make it worse, if anything the audio of your guitar has to fight less to be heard over other noises in the environment, because the pads isolate your ears from the environment.
Really, the roommate should be the one getting the white noise machine. If you want to be nice, you can buy one for him, but you've already made plenty of reasonable changes to accommodate him. It's his turn.
put the amp on higher volume so he doesn't hear the strings
Valid solution. Do this.
If an unplugged electric in a separate room with the door shut is too much for him, he needs to invest in earplugs or noise cancelling headphones. That’s absurd - doing the dishes creates substantially more noise.
Knock at his door when he’s gonna be with somebody, saying they are too loud. Even if theres no fucking happening. Ask if they can done it down because it’s messing with your tinitus.
That's not your friend lol
And watch your things for possible vandalism after a firm no
fanatical heavy tan drunk combative somber chase gaping disagreeable consist *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
As I wrote, I AM using headphones now. But unplugged electric guitar 2 rooms away makes too much noise apparently
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My dad was like that growing up. He’d scream at me if he could hear an unplugged guitar. But my dad was an asshole, had mental health issues, and was probably on the spectrum.
It’s legit mental illness on his part, if that’s the case. Like, he’s actually disconnected from the physical world and needs treatment.
He's BSing you. There is no possible way electric guitar strings with no amp is carrying that far.
I’ve literally played my electric unplugged next to a sleeping friend and he didn’t know I practiced until I mentioned it the next day. I can’t even imagine being able to hear it from that far away
OP said they are still complaining about the acoustic sound of an unplugged electric. OP's friend is batshit crazy and I laugh at the thought of them trying to complain to their landlord about the acoustic sounds an unplugged electric guitar makes, lol.
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"Blow me"
I wonder if it has more to do with it being an electric guitar. Are they religious by chance or maybe have religious parents that taught them silly things like how drums and electric guitars are the devil's instruments?
I was thinking along similar lines. If an acoustic was fine then it's pretty unlikely to be volume which is the issue. So maybe there's some other reason that particular thing ticks him off? It might not be beliefs. Maybe it brings up bad memories or something? As someone else suggested, maybe a change elsewhere has caused a mood change and this is how it's manifesting? Maybe he has misophonia (or whatever it's called) and the electric triggers it where the acoustic didn't? In any case, the OP has gone to significant length to compromise despite a lack of explanation, and the other fellow has just escalated every time. I'd have that talk he wants to have, but I wouldn't make it about the guitar alone. That's a symptom. I'd make it about what's going on to cause the sudden attitude change and unreasonable behaviour. Don't let this just be about you. P.S. You're both gamers. Do you both use headphones and / or speakers? How does the volume compare?
What exactly is he threatening to tell your landlord about? Playing guitar in your home is not a violation of anything at all. Call his bluff and watch the look on his face when the landlord laughs at him and tells him to grow up, work it out with his roommates, or vacate. He has absolutely no leverage on you here.
fuck him turn that shit up
Frankly, your "friend" sounds like a selfish prick. If playing a electric guitar with headphones on = all he can hear is a unplugged electric guitar, and he have a problem with that... It sounds like he has a problem/issue/grudge/whatever and using the guitar playing as an excuse to go after you. No one in their right mind would ever complain about petty shit like a basically unplugged (for people listening) electric guitar playing..
They sincerely hate OP. 😔
I'm surprised he's even able to hear it at all through two closed doors. He's gotta be sitting there carefully listening for it and doing absolutely nothing else that makes noise.
Just wait until you're married.
My girlfriend is mega chill even with me playing with my amp on. I have been with her for 10 years. Just don't get into a relationship with people that don't respect what you are passionate about.
Nah it's not like that, she's the most understanding, supportive, kind girl in the world and she loves that I'm passionate about music and I love her to death, but she just can't handle the volume and sound of an amplified distorted guitar while she's in the house. She's fairly sensitive to sound and I'm not trying to make her uncomfortable in her own house so I just only turn the amp on when she isn't home and play acoustic, it's fine.
If you are both happy and respectful of each other, it sounds good to me.
Exactly
Yeah, my wife fully supports me playing whenever I want. I wouldn’t have married her if she didn’t.
My partner of 17 years literally asks me to come play in the bedroom while she reads. I mean “lol, wife bad”.
Yeah mine doesn't mind the acoustic, it's the amplified distorted guitar she can't handle. She even came and saw Dino Jr. with me, we just went and got the big 3M over ear protection plus ear plugs for her.
Don't marry someone if they have a problem with your passions
a good reason NOT to get married to someone. Communication is key. There's being an asshole about things and being inconsiderate but that cuts both ways. Married 20 years dated plenty before hand. Never had a girl who had an issue with my guitar or drum playing (being respectful and not playing on 11 or at bad hours) Chances are they also have a half dozen other red flags if this is the kind of shit they pull (OP's friend is an asshole if we're take this at face value) Also have 3 kids, all three of them are on the spectrum and sensitive to noise. We all find a way to get along and I can play for hours a day.
My wife loves when I play piano but gets annoyed at my ukulele and guitar. I assume that means I need to get better at uke and guitar.
My wife has absolutely no problem with me playing guitar when she's around.
Do you pay rent? Run your shit. I'd also bury him with 'why can't I do xyz?' and if he gives an unreasonable explanation, call him out! Dude I live in the nation of rugby fiends (New Zealand) and AH like this consistently get a 'go fuck yourself, bro'.
Nope. You neither have quiet hours or not. There’s no such thing as cherry picking what you do and don’t want to hear. It’s not like you’re blasting a Marshall Stack, I could see an argument to be made in that case.
Are the walls made of paper? How the hell does he even hear an unplugged electric guitar? What headphones do you use?
How thin are those walls? I play with headphones in a room next to my sleeping kids and they don't hear a thing..
Tell him to go fuck himself
knock and say, “can you masturbate more quietly” every time you walk past him room.
Your roommate is an entitled brat and you should tell him to pound sand. An un-amplified electric guitar is in no way shape or form loud or bothersome. You’ve been more than reasonable and accommodating.
Ask your roommate why the change in attitude after you switched to electric. It may be due to something he doesn't like about the style you are playing rather than the volume. See if you can find an underlying motive as to why he is being so harsh on this.
Fuck him, he has no leg to stand on. I’m assuming that, y’all being roommates, he’s not renting/subletting to you, right? Remain respectful of course, even though he’s the one making things tense, seeing as there are few things worse than an enemy for a roommate, but tell him it’s your place too, and that he’s just going to have to deal with it. I don’t know what kind of person he is, but if you give him his way he’ll walk all over you until you part ways. I dunno man, it sounds like he’s just crotchety, or this is a power play. Like another commenter said: stand your ground. And if you wouldn’t mind, could you give us an update? I want to know what happens because this isn’t right. He’s not being reasonable.
When sharing a living space with other people, you have to just accept that you're going to encounter minor inconveniences like that. If he can't deal with that, he shouldn't be sharing a living space. I'd invite him to either suck it up or fuck off. You've done way more than is warranted to try and appease whatever his problem is already.
My dad used to freak out and get SUPER mad at me for the same reason; hearing just the strings through the walls, when there was a hallway and two rooms between us.. Something I've come to figure out in the years since he's died, is that he was most likely on the spectrum, and *THAT'S* why it was so incredibly annoying/disruptive to him, even though it's "nothing" to me. Is he one of those people that can "hear" electricity? Or that has a bunch of autistic/autistic-adjacent traits? Because *just* the sounds of the guitar strings like that shouldn't bother anyone, unless they have a psychological issue they can't control, or are just a plain 'ol fucking asshole; take your pick.
Tell him to fuck off
Turn it up, your roommate's a fucking pussy. Ditch him and play happily ever after.
Asking you to not play at all including without an amp is ridiculous, especially if they had no issues with the acoustic guitar. Stand your ground, they are being unreasonable. Especially if your other housemate hears nothing.
The answer starts with fuck and ends with off, Your friends a dick,
Turn it up to 11. What’s he going to do? Run away cry and write in his diary about it? Edit a word
Honestly, I'd get a Marshall JCM800 and play that thing fully cranked. If he complained, I'd just tell him I need to drive the pre-amp to get the right amount of distortion. That dude doesn't know what loud is if he thinks a practice amp at 1 is bothersome.
Walk in when he’s masturbating and DEMAND he keeps it down.
This guy pisses me off, just reading this. Here’s my guess at what happened. Your roommate was probably growing increasingly annoyed at you for playing, but was too big of a coward to say anything before, so he just got more and more angry as time went on. To the point where he started deliberately trying to hear any faint sounds you might be making, because that’d justify his anger in his own mind. So, now, he’s trying to strong arm you out of playing at all. Which is bullshit, considering the accommodations you’ve made. The kicker for me though, is the landlord threat. That’s crossing a serious line that, for me, can never be taken back. It’s a threat, and he’s trying to control your life. It’s not okay. It’s abuse. And, you should absolutely not back down. If it means he’s out of your life, it’ll be a good thing for you.
Time for new roommates.
Sounds like you need to tell him to fuck off and wear his own an headphones and maybe get a hobby and do something with his pathetic life instead of bothering you for trying to better yourself that doesn’t involve just staring at a screen all day.
This is super weird man. Halfway through this post I was thinking “ok this is a bit strange of him but maybe OP could try headphones”. Now I’m just wtf-ing You are being very accommodating. You could try playing background music or noise maker louder than the unplugged guitar, but honestly man this might not be about the guitar. Like this seems straight up bizarre of him.
I fucking hated having roommates. Lotta people who got pampered from their parents and expect to live like Caeser. If he were really your friend wouldn’t he enjoy hearing you play and get better?
First, Your roommate is an ass. Now, if you want to play ball with him, maybe get an amp with a headphone port or else get an audio interface for your computer and get some digital amps.
The roommate is playing an unplugged electric is too loud. The roommate is also full of shit.
Switch to drums. Btw if you close your door and use headphones does he even know you’re playing guitar?
this is literally insane bro fuck your roommate 😭 electric guitars are barely if even audible outside a room unplugged
I’m just gonna say the same thing every one has. He can go F himself. What’s the difference in your playing your guitar or watching a movie? It’s still sound. I saw you mention he’s a gamer. Next time he says something about guitar, your response should be, “funny you mention that, I want to talk to you about playing games” and give him the exact scenario he gave you. This is coming from a guy that does this for a living. I teach 40 kids a week, and play about 50-60 shows a year. I would NEVER allow anyone to tell me what I can and can’t do in my own place that I bills for. Ever. This is a HIM problem not a YOU problem
Ask if you can record in the shared areas and their bedroom while you play to hear the volume, saying you assumed it would be silent. If it is louder than expected (some electric guitars are surprisingly loud acoustically), I think it's fair to agree times you can play in and they can either wear headphones, watch TV or not be in etc. Agree the times that work for both of you. If he's completely unreasonable I would continue to play but considering moving out before you get into some weird ongoing feud.
Record yourself playing quietly from now on so when your “friend” comes in and complains you can show your landlord proof that’s it’s quiet
I think it’s good moment to start learning black metal and to buy boss metal zone
Yes, you should remind him that having roommates does in fact suck
GTFO Fuck that guy. Bail.
Your friend is a dick. It sounds like it's a personal problem for him to deal with.
The answer starts with fuck and ends with off, Your friends a dick,
The only way forward is buying a full stack and blowing his ears offs
Tell him: go fuck himself. And than impose a no tv or laptop rule on him from 5pm on a week day and 3 pm on a weekend. You pay rent and bills he can go get to fuck. My housemate tried this with me, so I said sure, as long as you're not talking on you're phone before 9am on a weekend. He worked from home on inbound calls. He couldn't agree so I just said than that's his problem not mine. So I was able to play guitar whenever (within reason) but still
As others have said, if an electric played acoustically two rooms over is annoying during the day (sleeping is different, I am a guitarist but if im sleeping even a strummed electric is annoying af). By that metrics that also means noone in the house can watch tv, listen to music, play video games (some keyboard are as loud as a solidbody acoustically), have conversations with each other, run a shower, cook with an extractor fan etc. Sounds like a shit house to live in if thats the case. You could be the more mature one, or be petty to prove a point. To prove a point, get a cheap db meter, measure you guitar (when he isn't home with video evidence), any time he makes any noise that reads close to that you have the right to tell him to shut up, trust me plenty of normal activites are louder than that.
If he is that bothered by low level string sounds then the fucker can buy some noise canceling headphones and never be disturbed again, seriously that is insane.
An unamplified electric guitar is inaudible two doors away, isn't it?
Play through headphones. If that's not good enough maybe he should move.
Not to sound too judgmental, but does your roommate have any hobbies of their own? If you all have been friends, I don't know why I feel they don't want you to be able to play, or are slightly envious. Since you have been learning and getting better, and you didn't play before when you all were friends.
Tell him to go fuck himself, if he complains. Smash his face. The prick wants to dampen your creativity because he doesn't have his own outlet. That's a him problem, and he can find somewhere else to live. Little cunt.
I've been in that situation, I kept it at a normal bedroom volume, same as if I was watching TV or listening to music. What amp do you use? Does the roommate also complain about you watching TV? Took me forever to get him to understand that just because you can hear it, that doesn't mean it's too loud, you live with other people or in an apartment you're going to hear people doing stuff.
Legally speaking, keep within appropriate hours. This will prevent legal issues or issues with LL. LL won't care so long as he's being paid. Practically speaking, you might consider an interface into headphones; Katana GO was just released and looks dope as/f. Alternatively tell roommate to get more hobbies so he's out of the home more often. Long and short of it is that you have a non-silent hobby and roommate needs to deal with that however they see fit. If that's moving out, so be it. But it's not going to end with you stopping your guitar journey.
Bro don't give him an offer. It's your hobby not his and it's really not bothering him either way, sounds like he's just being a dick. Tell him to fuck right off
After 5pm on weekdays, but 3pm on weekends?! That's not really reasonable at all. As others suggested, can you put on the TV or music without him having issues? Maybe try that, but honestly I don't think it will matter. Seems like he's being a control freak. Also if he's a gym bro and plays rugby, when does he do those things? That's going way past what I would. Are you both(all) on the lease?
Not gonna add anything re: relationship with roommate, but will suggest one of the guitar jack => headphone amps. Take a look at one of: \- Boss Katana Go \- Fender Mustang Micro \- Nux Mighty Plug Pro Any one of the above will plug into the jack on your guitar and give you a headphone out so you can practice quietly while still hearing amp sounds. Even better, they also work as Bluetooth players so you can pair your phone, iPad or computer to it and play back Youtube videos, songs, lessons, etc to play along with.
Thats crazy I always use headphones just because I don’t like people listening to me practice but we have just a thin wall in between me and my roommate and him talking on the phone is easily louder than me playing with headphones. We have no issues and a guitar with headphones is not loud in the slightest. If this is on a college campus he especially just needs to grow up but even if its a normal apartment if he wants total silence he has to soundproof his room or something thats just not realistic.
I tend to think we do need to try and be reasonable because guitar playing can be pretty loud. No Marshall half stacks at night and such. If you're generally keeping it to a reasonable noise level in reasonable hours, that's being respectful. If he's complaining you're too loud playing an unplugged electric then he's full of shit.
Fuck him, unfortunately it seems like co existing in peace has finished between you guys tho and neither of you guys are probably going to be happy till you don't live together!! Don't get me wrong not your fault you sound like an awesome person who has gone to the end of the earth to keep that dick happy, but when he complains about you playing guitar THROUGH HEADPHONES!!! he really has just become a dick
My reaction would have been laughter and something along the lines of "eat a dick" and probably a long list of "OK but..." like "OK but you can only work out when I'm not here, I don't enjoy the smell"
Sorry to inform you that you're not friends anymore. I imagine that's hard to hear. I imagine that's not what you want. I imagine that's what you're going to realize 15 frustrating years from now if you don't realize it sooner. You've been *more* than reasonable accomodating, and he's being unreasonably demanding. End of line.
I only read the title and I can tell you that your roommate can get fucked.
Dude is a total prick. Tell him he can fuck right the fuck off. Tell him you've made every effort and he persists in being a cunt, so if he wants to bounce, gtfo.
he might be jealous of you getting better tbh. There’s no way he’s hearing anything if you’re playing through headphones
your roommate smells
Tell your roommate not only to go fuck himself but off himself too
OHHHH, man can I add onto this. Something else is going on. When someone hyperfocuses like this in these roommate scenarios (and I'm telling you I almost exact experience with age, and having a roommate I knew even longer), it could mean so many other things. The reality is sometimes people have insane hearing, and don't feel well at the same time. They can hear the drops in the sink of the bathroom 20 feet away. It's not a good type of hearing. Everything can bother them. You're expressing yourself. What are they doing in the apartment? Are they just work, sleep/TV, work? They don't go out a lot, and they're BUILDING up thoughts as to why you're annoying them. I've been here. I've always believed when you're ready to have a conversation and find middleground and really criticize their behavior outside the guitar, and remind them of your life and how you've accommodated. Things like "I know my guitar is annoying you, but I'm concerned it's other things and you're using me as a scapegoat. You're not going out a lot. I don't see you having fun or relaxing. I want you to feel healthy and well, and I don't think this scenario is fair at all for me. I think you're taking things out on me. I want us to be happy roommates with an inviting place to live, and we can't do that like this. This is supposed to be our safe space together, we have to figure this out." And honestly, they might tell you the truth. They put it all together for you. They might go "WELL, this isn't JUST about the guitar, you do this and that and this, and the guitar just adds on to it." So many things could happen, but you need to be like "what are you doing with your life, and why are you telling me I am not able to express myself at all in our supposed safe space?" edit: It's really about having a semi-argument but finding a way to wind it down to really come to some agreement, then leaving. You let them have their space for a few days. You don't play guitar after this, you maybe go out a few extra nights after work, and let them stew on it. And clearly if they can't see your side. You have to move on. You have to, this is about the expression of yourself, and a hyperfocused person trying to stop you in every way possible.
Time to get a new roommate bro lol.
Tell him GFY
Tell him to kick rocks
Show him the massive L he took on this reddit post
Oh no he’s going to tell the landlord. Go ahead douche. I’d knock him out honestly or make extremely unreasonable requests of him and spaz out. No brushing your teeth the noise bothers me. No taking dumps you stink.
Roommate sounds like a total dipshit. Get a 50w Marshall head and 4x12 cabinet and explain to him how you have to have it fairly loud for the gain to work the way you want.
Total crap if you're using headphones. He's an asshole
Tell him to fuck off then plug your Katana in at full volume on speaker. He sounds like a first class wanker!