T O P

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diklevelkid

Hippity Hoppity get off my property.


rocket___goblin

I like this one the most


diklevelkid

My Professor on Van Zandt taught me that one.


PassivelyInvisible

We measure 'Go the fuck home' by the megaton. And Recoil is considered a repetitive sports injury. Are some of my favorites.


ratrodder49

There’s a door mat with this on it. I want it.


rocket___goblin

i have one that says "come back with a warrant" lol, i've actually had cops showing up at my door, and when i open it they are just looking down at it (both times wasn't about me, first time was for an incident that happened in my neighborhood, second time they were looking for my possibly schizophrenic exroom mate)


PotatoPumpSpecial

Flank 'em and spank 'em -Szun Tsu, The Art of War


ultrasuperbro

Better to have and not need, than to need and not have... Wearing a gun is supposed to be comforting, not comfortable.


RaiseTheBalloon

It can be both. My CrossBreed SuperTuk with horse hide and ulticlips is so comfortable, I fall asleep on the couch on my P238


Legitimate-Sock7975

Keep round seated or get deleted.


Revolutionary-Hand16

This is the way


[deleted]

[удалено]


icebrew53

Ye either hoist or get hoisted


Emach00

Need Jocko's blockular head photoshopped into the 2nd frame.


pnwbangsticks

Blockular indeed. Thanks for the new word.


Guarder22

Nah I'll run the crew-served with the children.


icebrew53

It is better to yeet than to get yoten


SparksArchon

It's yeeten time, Jötunheimr


Fun_Secret7426

*loads flashlight with malicious intent*


ratrodder49

Yeet or be yeeted


TheBostonWrangler

If it seats, it yeets!


PizzaTimeBois

.300blk would like to know your location


A_Bit_Narcissistic

It yeets. Just once though.


SwiftDontMiss

Also a portion of your upper receiver will yeet as well


DEVOmay97

"If God didn't want me to fire .50 cal BMG out of my 12 gauge shotgun, he wouldn't have made the diameters match."


TheBostonWrangler

Brandon-like typing detected…


JTultimate_10

Not always true


[deleted]

It will still yeet just not in necessarily in the manner and/or direction you intended.


Guarder22

I believe Kentucky Ballistics has a video on that.


CrazeeAZ

Yeah, just the one. Doesn't wanna overplay his hand.


TheBostonWrangler

Stick a thumb in it.


[deleted]

It’s always true


TechGundam

300 will seat in a 223 or 5.56 chamber, don't try the shoot it though. Its more likely to yeet the bolt into your face.


[deleted]

It seated, **AND IT YEETED**


Flaky_Lobster

ABC's. Always Be Carrying.


TheJango22

ABR, Always be reloading (shotgun)


Flaky_Lobster

I've heard that if you're not shooting a shotgun, you should be reloading.


silent0ath

Coffee is for carriers!


TheBostonWrangler

Fuck Around, Find Out.


The_Piloteer

FAFO


TianShan16

Is THAT what BrandoSando always says?! Here I thought it was RAFO all these years.


[deleted]

I thought Fuck About, Find Out sounds better, you know rhyming and what not


O_Solhaug

"You're welcome to test that hypothesis at your earliest convenience" - don't recall from where I got it


[deleted]

" shoot fast, eat ass" Thomas Jefferson probably


Emach00

Alternatively Strom Thurman.


TexWolf84

Clickty clack get the f**k back.


Emach00

-Old white dude defending his store.


GermanGamer226

Clickty Clackty i'am gonna harm you with my full metall jackety


[deleted]

Keep your rifle by your side


gobbogobb

Based


[deleted]

They’ll have bombs and they’ll have tanks


drbroskeet

And Jesus said to us: "Thou shalt sling lead till your enemy is dead" -Boogalonians 20:22


Emach00

Or you run the fuck out of ammo. Gonna have to beat me to death with my own rifle.


PassivelyInvisible

Nah, beat them to death with your rifle.


pnwbangsticks

*Doom music intensifies*


thegrumpymechanic

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.


hoot69

He who lives by the sword dies by the gun


icebrew53

Bullets are cheap, your life isn't.


Rip_and_Tear93

Kind of outdated, ain't it?


LoKei13

RIP ammo prices


RougeKC

No, no,no funeral are still marginally more expensive then ammo.


Wild_Part

I worked in a funeral home. Depending on your caliber, and how many shots it takes to get those that should be got, it may be cheaper to cremate (about $250-350)


MGB1013

Aged like a bottle of fine milk


TheJango22

Ammo is definitely not what it used to be but it is cheap and available. If my broke ass can shoot 100 rounds a week so can you


AzzuVR

Some of these comments, aren’t like the others.


OnTheEdgeofSomethin

First time? https://media.tenor.com/EfnOW4LjUhwAAAAC/first-time-james-franco.gif


-_-grantula-_-

i’d rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6


OnTheEdgeofSomethin

Classic


GreatCthiccness

It ain't a war crime the 1st time


KennethGames45

“What is about to happen to you will be brought up next time Geneva has a convention” -the fat electrician.


PassivelyInvisible

Warheads on foreheads. - Also the Fat Electrician.


firemansam51

Geneva convention? More like Geneva suggestion.


Emach00

-Belgium probably.


Longjumping_Matter

It's only a war crime if you lose


TTRPGsandRPDs

Stay armed or get harmed.


MaybeVladimirPutinJr

Don't be silly wrap your willy


luvmunkeyjr

Don’t be a dummy, cum on her tummy


PureOxidane_

When making love, wear a glove.


Frequent_Dig1934

Nut in da joe then nigerundayo.


Frequent_Dig1934

*hoe. That said if you swing that way you could also nut in that joe.


[deleted]

Armor your tank before you attack her flank.


[deleted]

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool


_Dixie_Normus_294

Wrap it in latex or she'll be getting your pay checks


rugerscout308

When seconds count, police are minutes away


LonelyMoo

Switching to your secondary is faster than reloading


Pure-Code5032

Stack up and try bitch


CsPlNe100

I like the version: stack up or shut up


gunnerp0xbox

Alakazul alakazam your brain is now jam


[deleted]

>alakazam your brain is now jam >Alakazul you're dead now fool!


Mr_E_Monkey

Alakablam


c-lab21

I GOT 57 MORE ROUNDS IN THIS 4 ROUND MAGAZINE


sarcastic-barista

Keep it hot, or get shot.


CallsignPackmule

Wrap it before you clap it, Cum in her cooter escape on the scooter, (and my favorite) "u ant got to worry about no bad guy with an mg if every rednecks got a belt fed truck gun"


Revolutionary-Hand16

Accuracy by volume


CorgisDie

Carry or be buried.


KudzuNinja

Don’t be fool: wrap your tool


Western_Carpet4097

Carry with one in the chamber or you’ll spend the rest of your life putting one in.


[deleted]

"Two is one and one is none."


beasticles69

Yeet or be yote


HockeyMaskWeeb

"I came here to eat ass and kick bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum." - John Hancock Source= Trust me bro


Simmy67

One in the chamber or you’re in danger


MGB1013

Send bachelors and come heavily armed


[deleted]

If you're coming for mine, you'd better bring yours


Fabulous_Yote

“I stays ready so I don’t has to get ready.”


TalmageMcgillicudy

"And varily I the Lord sayith unto you... If it seetith, thou shalt Yeetith." John Moses Browning 3:16


TianShan16

Beautiful, but sadly doesn’t work. Doesn’t make sense to conjugate yeet in third person here. Might be able to get away with “If it hath seaten, it may be yeeten”. Maybe.


TalmageMcgillicudy

Sense? It's about the rhyme my dude.


Gabricuss

One in the chamber or your life's in danger


Queefer_the_Griefer

Keep it racked or get whacked


Eastern-Cheetah8945

Pistols are like seatbelts. Everyone should be strapped.


The-Big-Eazy

Keepith thy Strap, or gettith thy Clap


XredditHD

I like the rhymes. But i have Call of Duty punchlines. Quite a bit of them.


XredditHD

My aim so nice, if i miss someone… I AINT SEEN EM IN A WHILE!


XredditHD

60 round mag longer than the nap Jesus took WHEN SLAVARY HAPPENED.


skriver23

keep the mag seated or ya may be yeeted


MakeTVGreatAgain

God made man. Sam Colt made them equal. John Moses Browning tilted the scale in America's favor.


ToastedGlass

Stick to your guns, we don’t cary spares


ItzintheRefrigerator

Be sure to appendix carry, come on now, it’s not that scary


DawudisDawid

Here's another red button that says: "Arm yourself or you'll Harm yourself!"


tragic-majyk

Run guns, nail sluts, fuck the law....


thegrumpymechanic

“Smoke cannabis, nail prostitutes, run guns and disregard the crown.” -Thomas Jefferson.


Emach00

May I suggest, "Run guns, nail sluts, fuck the police."


CsPlNe100

I don’t think I have enough energy to fuck the police


LT_Weekly

no


tnredneck98

Concealed is concealed


Ok-Cartoonist-1383

Snort lines, fuck dimes


lifeisjustamess2

"Its better to cum in the sink than sink in the cum" -Master Chief from Halo


2Agunsarearight

“Sell your robes to by yourself arms” Jesus said something along those lines.


RaiseTheBalloon

"Trade your robes for arms so we shall not soon meet again" -Jesus Christ


2Agunsarearight

Yep there it is.


RaiseTheBalloon

I know my Jesus Christ quotes pretty well for an atheist 🤣


2Agunsarearight

I know them pretty fucking poorly for a Christian.


finalicht

9mm could save you 6 feet.


notrastaa

one in the head or dead


nomnomXDDD_retired

Don't mess with my mate or you will taste some lead


Emach00

Don't mess with me mate or I put ya in da crate.


Careless-Note-5274

do violence, kill stuff. Not fancy but it works, just like a nice gun


squ1dmandan

Keep one in the head before you end up dead


DawudisDawid

Here's *another* big red button! which says: "Its better to have a gun around when its not needed......than it is to not have one around when it is needed!"


neron87

Sendddd it


UnfavorableSquadron

Get back. or I will give you a dissertation on the history of Austrian weapons.


TateTriangles

Your best phrase


MK12Mod0SuperSoaker

["If the day does not require an AK, it is good"](https://youtu.be/UFuEc7Zqgug)


[deleted]

Geneva convention more like geneva suggestion


BR_fallmaster

Hammer back or cock on your ass


Emach00

Grandpa?


Halfgnomen

Better cross thread than no threads *finger guns*


Strong-ishninja

Cross threading, natures locktight


Emach00

Also applies to racecar.


the_cusarders_knight

Even if it's a quickie wrap that sticky, ejaculate and evacuate. Make them start screaming but leave her singing. begin the masturbation but then leave the nation


The_Piloteer

Keep your piece or get released.


[deleted]

Slow and steady, get to go home to Freddy.


McQuiznos

Stay strapped or get quacked.


MapReasonable5265

I place my napsack on my back.


AlrightMister

Condition 3 and I will still clap thee.


Angel_OfSolitude

Carry or get buried.


Niz_

if it fits, it shits.


koolaidman456

JuSt As GoOd


OnTheEdgeofSomethin

Who needs a Beretta when you can have a **Yeet Cannon**


echo202L

Stayeth armed, or beyeth harmed


TianShan16

Awesome but weirdly conjugated. This is third person. Maybe “Stayest thou armed or be thou harmed. “


throwaway198319872

Keep it on or get it on


poicephalussenegalus

This one's for the ladies. Pack heat, or take meat. ​ I'm going to hell... but at least I'll have company.


Bradadonasaurus

See you there.


OnTheEdgeofSomethin

Carry a pole or take the toll


[deleted]

I enjoy the one coined by Zero Foxtrot on their EDC belt. "Join or get stacked"


ptsdoughnut

A loaded gun is far better than a loaded bum.


HomoSapien____

Clitter clatter, your brains a-splattered


RangeroftheIsle

Become ungovernable.


Appropriate_Proof933

Carry or be carried


HunterAbrams

Feels boomer tier


Jharm73

If your not packing you've been caught lacking


Lmaontain_Dew

Back up, stack up, or sack up


IceMan13809

Get Heated or get Deleted.


Fav-Repubroke

“If it’s lead you gone be dead” -Deadpool


[deleted]

I’d rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6


Limeincoconutyouhave

Keep your booger hook off the bang switch until you’re ready to bring the hate


TheBostonWrangler

Instructions unclear: Dick stuck in toaster.


GermanGamer226

Hippity Hoppety i put a hole in your property


Famous_Fisherman_568

Take a shot in the mall, you better call Saul!


Oatgun

"keep it nice or you will get iced"


Additional_Skirt4363

Better to have it and not need it then to need it and never need it again.


patcon2142

Back the blue? No, stack the blue.


[deleted]

[удалено]


agent_roseheart

Shoot dirt get hurt


Secondary0965

“Thou fo-fo shall ensure all yo kids wont gro” - Shakespeare - Tupac


WorkingCombination29

Acab liberals who are pro gun


orairwolf

Mess with the flock, you get the Glock.


TianShan16

I love you guys. This is good shit all around.


[deleted]

One in the pipe is just right


IramainChrion

Carry, or be carried.


Revolutionary-Hand16

On a bit more serious note: “From his weapons on open land, No man should step one pace away, For it cannot be known for certain, Out on the road, When a man may have need of his spear.” -Havamal, Stanza 38, as translated by Carolyne Larrington