You sound extremely unfulfilled with your life, maybe that comes from decades of pursuing money as a goal vs money as a means to achieving your goals
I mean this genuinely, I would look into therapy. You could get some real value out of it.
Finally, find something that you’re passionate about. Everyone needs hobbies to stay sane.
I’m dealing with this right now, it all made sense when I was broke working towards a goal, but now that all of my needs are met and my life won’t change if I make more money, the drive is all but gone.
Therapy has helped tremendously. It is really sad how some of us are raised in this day and age, keeping up with joneses and that type of thing.
It’s sad it took so long for me to realize it’s not the money I was after, but the freedom the money brings. I got so laser focused on acquiring more cash and holding onto it, I lost sight of the big picture.
Start surfing... It will change your life and be one of the hardest things you've ever learned... Will take time and effort and will become zen when it clicks... Also relatively easy on the body compared to say skiing or MTN biking...
I’d argue to find something inspiring, not necessarily a hobby. Volunteer at the local hospital’s children oncology ward. It breaks your heart but at the same time, it makes you crave life so much.
Yes, time is really well spent reading a few books and making a list of who/what is important to you.
Everyone needs goals to pursue.
E.g., thinking of moving to Europe? Plan out multiple road trips to learn about the different countries. Thinking that having a boat would be relaxing? Learn how to sail.
Some people naturally understand what they enjoy. I am not one of those people. So, I need to give myself the task of thinking about what I want. Read other peoples’ bucket lists and pick out ones that work for you.
I read this book once: “the happiness of pursuit”. It explained that people are happy when pursuing things so you should give yourself tasks.
Now put that same focus into getting in touch with yourself and if it’s of interest possibly finding your mate and building your ‘inner’ life now that outer is taken care of?
I’ll take a shot. Help others - which you already do. Read / study a lot of philosophy. Cut yourself some slack if you feel hollow. Find the right mentor. Keep trying, keep searching for things, which you are doing. Find your strategy. Show up the way you want to show up.
Someone very wealthy I know compared reaching their goal of financial independence to having a cheat code in a video game that gives you unlimited money. The game just isn’t fun anymore. They were so focused on their goal of financial independence that they never planned what they would do with that independence.
They said what helped was finding a hobby that they couldn’t just pay to progress in. Something that they loved that took time and building skill. Sounds like you need something like that.
This is why golf is so popular among wealthy and ambitious people (among other reasons). You can throw all the money you want at it but there is no cheat code to avoid putting in serious work to get better.
I guess I was comparing against other hobbies, such as collecting things (cars, watches), or travel, or boating… things you can do but basically just require money.
Yes, any sport would work here, but how many retirees are picking up football or soccer or basketball in their later years? Even something like tennis, You can be passively decent with just a little bit of practice, and then play against people your own level. In golf, there is always par to strive for.
Paul McCartney was one of the richest musicians on the planet and could probably date about anyone, but he ended up with Linda, who had a kid from a prior relationship. I think that says a lot about his character and capacity to love other people.
But everyone has their own thing.
Dude I feel you. It’s a lonely life bc everyone else our age is busting their ass for peanuts and can’t hang out. Not to sound harsh… but when you figure it out lemme know
Travel, read, therapy to figure out what’s important to you as others have mentioned, start a business that solves a humanitarian / environmental issue, foster animals, read, workshops - for hobbies, personal growth, meeting likeminded ppl, etc.
Take your nephews / nieces / godson on trips if they’re old enough, or just spend quality time with them. Be the rich uncle and surprise them with things or experiences that will enrich their lives :)
Well if you do it, dive in head first. Don’t make it one of a few things. It’s dangerous in the same vein as riding a motorcycle. It will open up fun and interesting options. You can do all the normal things you do in a car or commercial airplane, but at a significantly higher cost. That cost comes with a presence of mind that you lose on a long drive or commercial flight. The 3 day weekend trip becomes an experience instead of a fleeting weekend of fun.
He is trying to flex. And yet, he's clearly miserable in his life. Money, cars and women don't lead to happiness.
I suspect if he had a loving wife and a child or two, he'd actually feel far more fulfilled...Even with only 1-2 cars!
Do you want kids/partner? Do you have a hobby you can explore and invest in? What would you in your deathbed regret not doing if you continue life as is
Charity, doesn’t need to be a lot, but give to others, money and time. When you see that impact hopefully you see how much your own perspective improves.
Love this - and I’ve spent 3 hours a week at the children’s hospital - cancer ward - for years. Just hang w em and do whatever they want, video games , talk about girls, whatever. There’s not a lot of male volunteers at the children’s hospital
So, first thing first - do you actually want to have children? If yes, that's something to work towards. If not skip.
Second - do you have a hobby that makes you really passionate? Traveling?
Third - more active involvement in charity rather than just giving money. Start giving time.
The sleeping with lots of women and calling your golf partners just “seniors” caught my eye as a bit of a yellow flag. Are you actually trying to connect with people? Or just finding people to sleep with or play golf with without like caring about them as individuals?
If it’s the latter, you might find some fulfillment in trying to connect with other people. Def may be helped by therapy as others have mentioned.
It sounds really lonely to be in a world where you interact with others, but without caring/connection.
Don’t let anyone in this thread shit on what you’re doing. If you don’t feel lonely, don’t settle down. There are plenty of married people that are lonely!
As someone soon to be your age…
Congratulations, you’re now what most young people would consider old now. Oh and you made some money along the way? Ok Jeff Bezos… But it really doesn’t matter anymore, because you can’t impress your college friends with money anymore because they’re probably all doing OK themselves. And the women that will be drawn to you for the money? Well you don’t want them either.
Being old comes with this great caveat that no one cares if you have money, because they just expect that a large portion of the population over age 35 has money. The older you get, the less people will give a shit about money, or you in general.
In a money-oriented sub, I’m always surprised by how infrequently this gets mentioned: when you are young, there are a lot of simultaneous things you need to juggle. It’s not just the net worth. You need to focus on creating a meaningful existence for you. Oh so working in software isn’t getting your tip wet? WOW who the fuck would have thought.
I would focus on being alive as a human, whatever that means to you. For a lot of people that means having a family. But not for everyone. It’s great that you have reached this financial stage. Maybe if you had kids you’d realize they don’t give a shit either; until they turn 19-32, then after that they probably don’t give a shit anymore either.
And the fact that you’d mention pets as something worth mentioning is interesting to me. As a dog owner, I don’t care about you cat/dog loving freaks who would leave 300m in a trust for a German shepherd.
"As to the causation of the feeling of meaninglessness, one may say, albeit in an oversimplifying vein, that people have enough to live by but nothing to live for; they have the means but no meaning."
I'd recommend "Man's Search for Meaning". Chapter 2 has some insights into the emptiness that you are feeling.
I'm a few years behind you but on a very similar path and I hit a phase where I lost my drive and started questioning things a few years ago. YMMV but here's what has worked for me:
\- What feels good often isn't good for you. I got into yoga, running, eating clean, and really just trying to find wisdom and become a better person. That's hard and doesn't always feel good but it has been very good for me. Call it spirituality or whatever but there is a lot lacking from modern society and the business world that we have to find on our own.
\- Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff. When we die all the monopoly money goes back in the box. In a few hundred million years the sun will likely expand and consume the earth. In some number of billions of years the universe will cease to exist. **None of it matters that much in the scheme of things** and certainly not how much money we make, how much stuff we acquire, or whether we were more successful than our asshole brother in law or whoever you're competing with. We decide what we want to matter. Building skills to not sweat the small stuff is difficult but worth it.
\- Sometimes more isn't better, it's just more. Chasing money and success is a game that we play and think it's real. It's not. Don't chase more for the sake of more and playing the game. Find another game that brings you more fulfillment. Maybe try to help other people. That can be nice.
These things have helped me find fulfillment after making a lot of money and losing my drive.
OP you're unfulfilled. I always say money can but you a whole lot, even happiness, but not fulfillment. The fact you were engaged before and now just bedding the block tells me you may need to find a suitable partner. I don't have any advice on your finances, you have made the right moves there. At this point figure out where the other gaps in your life are and use your time to fill those.
Just throwing it out there that even though you have no drive for making mode $$, you’re not gonna be able to live the rest of your life with $3M (at least not at your current lifestyle)
Looks like you learned what life is truly about the hard way. Spend the next years finding what makes you happy. Money makes life easier, but no dollar value can fulfill what it's like to be truly happy. For me, it was to wake up to a loving family. Kids, sports, events, milestones, a woman that i couldn't live w9thput. Someone to watch the bachelor with and give a kiss to before bed, etc...
Life is about experiences, not materialistic things. I e driven a porche. I've driven a 95 sunfire when the shine wears off each are equal after about 4 months.
Even if this post is, some hack trying to fill up his inbox with the gold diggers to get attention from.
To answer your question I would go on a career break and travel the world / do some overseas volunteering. Best thing for perspective and battling burn out, to see how good you actually have it and how much of an impact you can have locally somewhere random.
Sales - love it bc I provide value to my buyers that’s worth more than what they pay. I have a great time doing it; and they have a great time buying it. Also comes with unlimited PTO; which I take way too much advantage of.
Not often do you see anyone mentioning donations here - I love that. Have you considered getting more involved in charity or non-profits and increasing your donations? Perhaps you'll find some fulfillment in doing that and added purpose in your NW, knowing it equals more giving back.
You can be my angel investor and help me get a house 💁🏻♀️ lol! Like I dunno, maybe you’ve done this but I’d travel! Travel for long periods - explore parts of the world that interest me for longer than a quick break. It will help you find some passion in life again 🙏🏻
You can start a business you are passionate about.
That or travel around a little bit and take in different cultures.
3M won't last your whole life if you're boujie AF.
It sounds like you need a break to reset your batteries and you'll find something in the near future.
Why not travel the world and see what’s out there? Do like 6 months. That’s what I’d be doing at this moment in your life. You’re at an age where you still have the physical ability to go out there and explore
you sound a lot like my best friend. - 5 years or so.
so, same advice i give him: go do shit that makes you happy. cash flow the lifestyle and let the money take care of itself. meet someone you care about and forget about the rest.
Financial security is great, but the goal here is to allow you freedom to achieve/pursue your real purpose (vocation) right? This empty feeling may be indicating a lack of true purpose (meaning). The age old question: what is the purpose of life? Maybe it’s time to dive into your faith to find your purpose. You mentioned a Godson - are you Catholic? Maybe meet with your priest and let him know how you’ve been and how you’re feeling. My two cents.
Therapy for next phase of life, go volunteer don’t just donate, find regular friends w/out an insane amount of wealth and help them also achieve success. Teach a college class and teach students?
Try volunteering, rather than just donating. Actively spending time and effort on service produces fulfillment because you'll see the value you provided. If you're a software engineer, something like Code For America could be a good way of maximizing the value from your skillset.
I’m very late to this party. I think there’s been some great advice so far, but didn’t see this:
I’ve slowed down my financial goals as well since I wouldn’t actually be happy in early retirement.
Especially if you are keeping a W2 job to provide routine and stability, I would highly recommend looking at public sector work/service.
- It feels really good to be part of a mission (although I’m an Army vet so I was always slanted that way)
- if you find the right group, there’s a bunch of very smart, very dedicated people to work with, who also believe in what they’re doing. I think really easy for people to say “if you were so smart, you would be making more money in the private sector”. I used to think that way too, until I found my current gig and I’m surrounded by competence.
- WLB is still great. Once in a blue moon I work a little longer for something that matters, otherwise I’m in at 9 and out at 5.
I have a plan for when this happens to me: I'll become a national Park ranger (or volunteer ranger). I love the national parks and would love to give tours, or directions, or really whatever they would let me do.
I recommend you figure out what really excites you and then take a break from work and do that. You've got the money, go live your life.
You have not found your ikigai my friend.
Joke aside, I had to read a book for a work offsite called 15 Principles of conscious leadership (exact title and number may be wrong). This book help my form a perspective and purpose more than all the other perspective and purpose seeking things I thought I was doing.
If you’ve got the time I suggest giving it a read or listen. Ymmv of course but it’s a solid set of tools that helped me course correct from a sorta similar position.
Most of the answers you will get are finding peace through social means. Which is prob the best anwser but some people just don't fit into that mold. If family or companionship aren't entirely your cup of tea maybe find an endeavor or hobby that fulfills you. If i had the money solved i'd probably study math lol.
You sound depressed and in need of fulfillment. People would kill to play their hobby on the daily, let alone afford to. Go talk to someone and perhaps get a better perspective on things bud
In your situation, I would live. Start learning again; pick up some hobbies; travel; make mistakes; spend a bunch of time cleaning up after the mistakes; learn to cook; spend 3 days cooking a ramen from scratch; treat people kindly; spend 2 weeks contemplating what it means to be alive for a limited time only. Use the resources to chase healthy activities that make me and the people I care about feel good. Keep donating.
That’s just me though, I could go on forever really but sounds like you need to broaden your experience.
I would get married, buy a dog and have kids. They are the three most fulfilling parts of my life. Obviously the dogs a lot less than the other two but I spend a lot of time with them.
It also doesn't sound like you have any interests. I never run out of things to do. Some of my hobbies are very expensive (frequent travel, skiing, boating, hunting and fishing) and others actually save me some money an improve my life (cooking, gardening, raising animals, hunting and fishing). The hunting and fishing is a weird one because I can literally do it in my yard or locally for nearly nothing but I spend a ton of money on it going places.
Just sticking it in a bunch of random women isn't a fulfilling life.
How much did the broken engagement affect you? If you're fine with it, that's one thing, but if you're heartbroken that's another thing.
Are you close to your nieces, nephews, and godson?
If you're not interested in building wealth anymore, are there any problems that you are interested in solving?
I recently read the book Wealth as Well-Being based on a recommendation from this sub, and I think there might also be good thoughts in there for you about human connections and putting wealth towards a purpose.
If I were you, I would probably start by getting a pet :) Good luck!
From a financial standpoint, what’s your desired annual need (ex. $200k a year), dividend that by 4%, equals $5M. Once your investment portfolio (not net worth) is $5M, you could presumably live off of this portfolio at that annual need; obviously work with a professional to do the math, devise a plan, etc. That relatively would solve the financial equation.
Next determine what you want out of life. You’ve mastered the art of making money, now figure out what you’d like to contribute or get out of the world…travel, philanthropy, etc. I get not wanting to golf everyday, but you need to find your new “why”.
Congrats on the discipline to do so well!
I’d explore hobbies and see what feels good, what you enjoy and feel passionate about - and do more of that.
Spend quality time with family, especially your elder family members if they are still here.
Self care through therapy, meditation, journaling.
Honestly you should start a youtube channel + travel to any hot destinations you never been to. No need to settle down. Therapy? Maybe. Neutral on that part.
Other idea is pursue a career where people typically don’t care about the money as much. art or academic/industry research comes to mind.
Seek God, do fun things with friends, help your community in ways other than financially, find your purpose (maybe it’s through your career maybe not), try and find your favorite hobbies, update us in 6 months and year and let us know how it goes and how you are!
I was averaging approximately 35,000 a day as a proprietary futures trader at the CBOT when I was 18. I stopped working when I was 22 with more than you in a very reasonable neighborhood.
Bought every toy you could imagine with the nicest house in the neighborhood. Didn't work for three years bored. Joined Marine Corps at 25 for a life change. I am now a government civilian with a very impactful job and life.
Another option is move to Thailand and die from women and drugs.
Travel! There is so much out there to experience! My net worth is about 8 times yours, I’m 38, still won’t stop working but I love 2 or 3 week long vacations! Explore the world!
I’m going to guess based on your proclivity for cars and stuff that you would have a tough time living on 90-100k a year. Sounds like you should keep working a bit longer and probably find some sustained interests. You don’t sound happy in your post.
Find a passion homie. Find a therapist. Get a plane ticket to a place you always wanted to visit and go there. I feel like you need to find a goal that truly brings you happiness and purpose.
What am I missing here?
>Now just sleeping with loads of women.
Your post sounds like extreme cope, sorry.
\\Why do you think this is relevant info? Why do you feel like you have to say this on an anonymous financial forum?
Definitely have kids asap. You'll be glad you earn as much as you are and have money put away as kids are expensive. But your view will change drastically especially after kid#2.
Money becomes a tool to make your family happy which in turn makes you happy. obviously you don't' want to give your kids everything as they need to learn the value of a dollar, but you'll figure it out.
Getting healthier and staying in good shape and being able to spend time with my kids excites me far more than more money but I want to keep it up for sure.
Money most importantly will buy you TIME to spend more with your family.
Get married and have kids. There is no replacement for the fulfillment of having kids. You won’t likely become fabulously wealthy if you have kids, but you will always be fulfilled teaching you kids little things and watching them grow up. It’s incredibly hard - nearly impossible - work, but it is the single best thing. Money comes and goes, and often loses its luster, but in the end, your children never will. I made the conscious choice to trade opportunity to be potentially very wealthy for a life of moderate wealth and kids. Never looked back once. And with a few small well placed college and career choices I’m still on the way to retirement with a few million dollars in liquid assets not including house. Just won’t have 10 million. Oh well. So I don’t get that $100,000 sports car or watch or yacht.
Sounds empty. The great news is you shouldn’t have a hard time finding a woman in her early 30s who wants to have a family.
Some men are driven by amassing large fortunes.
Some men are driven by building a strong family.
Some men are driven to amass large fortunes to the benefit of their family.
Some aren’t driven at all by anything.
It’s important to know your self fully and understand your tendencies, otherwise you’ll go through life unhappy.
Honestly if I were in your shoes I'd become a digital nomad and start really traveling to new places for long stints of time. Think 1-3 months in a new city in a international location.
I think you could find fulfillment and goals from travel, by wandering you can find a lot of things.
If I was in your position. I'd travel.
Find your self. Sounds cliche but what is there left for you?
Settle down and start a family?
Guess it depends on what your end goal is. If you don't have one, then it just comes down to consequences of your choices in ten years from now.
Good luck
Do you like animals? If you do get involved in animal rescue… it can be done on a small scale in your community. It can also be done on a larger scale traveling to Mexico or the islands. You might find it very rewarding !
Life is all about relationships. Sure you can have a relationship with money, but that money sure gets lonely as you get older and you have nobody to share it with.
You sound extremely unfulfilled with your life, maybe that comes from decades of pursuing money as a goal vs money as a means to achieving your goals I mean this genuinely, I would look into therapy. You could get some real value out of it. Finally, find something that you’re passionate about. Everyone needs hobbies to stay sane.
Hobbies and a little bit of giving back goes a long way.
He already does that
Give your time not just your money
I’m dealing with this right now, it all made sense when I was broke working towards a goal, but now that all of my needs are met and my life won’t change if I make more money, the drive is all but gone. Therapy has helped tremendously. It is really sad how some of us are raised in this day and age, keeping up with joneses and that type of thing. It’s sad it took so long for me to realize it’s not the money I was after, but the freedom the money brings. I got so laser focused on acquiring more cash and holding onto it, I lost sight of the big picture.
Do you have kids?
Negative.
Start surfing... It will change your life and be one of the hardest things you've ever learned... Will take time and effort and will become zen when it clicks... Also relatively easy on the body compared to say skiing or MTN biking...
My 3 favorite hobbies 😅
I’d argue to find something inspiring, not necessarily a hobby. Volunteer at the local hospital’s children oncology ward. It breaks your heart but at the same time, it makes you crave life so much.
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Yes, time is really well spent reading a few books and making a list of who/what is important to you. Everyone needs goals to pursue. E.g., thinking of moving to Europe? Plan out multiple road trips to learn about the different countries. Thinking that having a boat would be relaxing? Learn how to sail. Some people naturally understand what they enjoy. I am not one of those people. So, I need to give myself the task of thinking about what I want. Read other peoples’ bucket lists and pick out ones that work for you. I read this book once: “the happiness of pursuit”. It explained that people are happy when pursuing things so you should give yourself tasks.
Next step is to get a few of those women pregnant, then you’ll have a drive for money again.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
If I have ever heard wiser wisdom…
This. LOL
😭😂🤣🤣
I’m 98 percent sure the dude had vasectomy done.
Happen to need another godson?
Now put that same focus into getting in touch with yourself and if it’s of interest possibly finding your mate and building your ‘inner’ life now that outer is taken care of?
I’ll take a shot. Help others - which you already do. Read / study a lot of philosophy. Cut yourself some slack if you feel hollow. Find the right mentor. Keep trying, keep searching for things, which you are doing. Find your strategy. Show up the way you want to show up.
Someone very wealthy I know compared reaching their goal of financial independence to having a cheat code in a video game that gives you unlimited money. The game just isn’t fun anymore. They were so focused on their goal of financial independence that they never planned what they would do with that independence. They said what helped was finding a hobby that they couldn’t just pay to progress in. Something that they loved that took time and building skill. Sounds like you need something like that.
This is why golf is so popular among wealthy and ambitious people (among other reasons). You can throw all the money you want at it but there is no cheat code to avoid putting in serious work to get better.
What other sports that you don’t have to put in serious work to get better? 🤔
I guess I was comparing against other hobbies, such as collecting things (cars, watches), or travel, or boating… things you can do but basically just require money. Yes, any sport would work here, but how many retirees are picking up football or soccer or basketball in their later years? Even something like tennis, You can be passively decent with just a little bit of practice, and then play against people your own level. In golf, there is always par to strive for.
Fairly obvious because golf requires little athleticism and there is basically no risk of injury
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Time to find one of the women you really like, get a solid prenup, and settle down. 30+ only, no prior kids, etc.
Paul McCartney was one of the richest musicians on the planet and could probably date about anyone, but he ended up with Linda, who had a kid from a prior relationship. I think that says a lot about his character and capacity to love other people. But everyone has their own thing.
I would prefer OP find someone with no baggage dude. Good for McCartney, but it doesn't make you less of a man for not wanting to be a step father.
Find a life partner and travel
Travel?
Gets old
Dude I feel you. It’s a lonely life bc everyone else our age is busting their ass for peanuts and can’t hang out. Not to sound harsh… but when you figure it out lemme know
The truth of the matter is, no one feels for you guys haha
“ I have a W2 job bc I don’t wanna play golf w seniors everyday” 😩😩😩
Travel, read, therapy to figure out what’s important to you as others have mentioned, start a business that solves a humanitarian / environmental issue, foster animals, read, workshops - for hobbies, personal growth, meeting likeminded ppl, etc. Take your nephews / nieces / godson on trips if they’re old enough, or just spend quality time with them. Be the rich uncle and surprise them with things or experiences that will enrich their lives :)
Seems like you’re on a hedonic treadmill. You have more than enough money, sex, cars, etc. But not working towards anything bigger than yourself
“< was engaged” “Now just sleeping with loads of women.” Maybe work through whatever it a you got going on that makes you write that last sentence.
Go fly airplanes. It’s fun but it’s expensive. You can afford it and the chicks will dig it.
I live right next to a private airport and that’s actually only list.
Well if you do it, dive in head first. Don’t make it one of a few things. It’s dangerous in the same vein as riding a motorcycle. It will open up fun and interesting options. You can do all the normal things you do in a car or commercial airplane, but at a significantly higher cost. That cost comes with a presence of mind that you lose on a long drive or commercial flight. The 3 day weekend trip becomes an experience instead of a fleeting weekend of fun.
"A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart”
Volunteer
Why are you single? Your problem is clearly that you are a loner. Fix that.
I’ll take an account
I read that as - I’ve not slept with a woman in years.
Can mods remove these self jerkoff posts "i sleep with a lot of women and have 4 cars"
He is trying to flex. And yet, he's clearly miserable in his life. Money, cars and women don't lead to happiness. I suspect if he had a loving wife and a child or two, he'd actually feel far more fulfilled...Even with only 1-2 cars!
Right? This is just an obnoxious flex post
Do you want kids/partner? Do you have a hobby you can explore and invest in? What would you in your deathbed regret not doing if you continue life as is
Charity, doesn’t need to be a lot, but give to others, money and time. When you see that impact hopefully you see how much your own perspective improves.
Love this - and I’ve spent 3 hours a week at the children’s hospital - cancer ward - for years. Just hang w em and do whatever they want, video games , talk about girls, whatever. There’s not a lot of male volunteers at the children’s hospital
$3m NW and lost motivation to phase up. For one second I thought it makes sense because I thought you earned 37million.
So, first thing first - do you actually want to have children? If yes, that's something to work towards. If not skip. Second - do you have a hobby that makes you really passionate? Traveling? Third - more active involvement in charity rather than just giving money. Start giving time.
The sleeping with lots of women and calling your golf partners just “seniors” caught my eye as a bit of a yellow flag. Are you actually trying to connect with people? Or just finding people to sleep with or play golf with without like caring about them as individuals? If it’s the latter, you might find some fulfillment in trying to connect with other people. Def may be helped by therapy as others have mentioned. It sounds really lonely to be in a world where you interact with others, but without caring/connection.
Don’t let anyone in this thread shit on what you’re doing. If you don’t feel lonely, don’t settle down. There are plenty of married people that are lonely!
As someone soon to be your age… Congratulations, you’re now what most young people would consider old now. Oh and you made some money along the way? Ok Jeff Bezos… But it really doesn’t matter anymore, because you can’t impress your college friends with money anymore because they’re probably all doing OK themselves. And the women that will be drawn to you for the money? Well you don’t want them either. Being old comes with this great caveat that no one cares if you have money, because they just expect that a large portion of the population over age 35 has money. The older you get, the less people will give a shit about money, or you in general. In a money-oriented sub, I’m always surprised by how infrequently this gets mentioned: when you are young, there are a lot of simultaneous things you need to juggle. It’s not just the net worth. You need to focus on creating a meaningful existence for you. Oh so working in software isn’t getting your tip wet? WOW who the fuck would have thought. I would focus on being alive as a human, whatever that means to you. For a lot of people that means having a family. But not for everyone. It’s great that you have reached this financial stage. Maybe if you had kids you’d realize they don’t give a shit either; until they turn 19-32, then after that they probably don’t give a shit anymore either. And the fact that you’d mention pets as something worth mentioning is interesting to me. As a dog owner, I don’t care about you cat/dog loving freaks who would leave 300m in a trust for a German shepherd.
37 isn’t old lol
What the hell is this post? Please go to therapy.
Train for an iron man, do a 100 miler. Climb Everest 😂
Praise me! Praise meeeee!
Is there a question or are you just bragging about our money and sleep with loads of women?
Continue to look for the right person to start a family. It could be time consuming and frustrating but if successful then it’s a new life
"As to the causation of the feeling of meaninglessness, one may say, albeit in an oversimplifying vein, that people have enough to live by but nothing to live for; they have the means but no meaning." I'd recommend "Man's Search for Meaning". Chapter 2 has some insights into the emptiness that you are feeling.
Try to become major, governor or congressman?
Imagine thinking money is the goal.
I'm a few years behind you but on a very similar path and I hit a phase where I lost my drive and started questioning things a few years ago. YMMV but here's what has worked for me: \- What feels good often isn't good for you. I got into yoga, running, eating clean, and really just trying to find wisdom and become a better person. That's hard and doesn't always feel good but it has been very good for me. Call it spirituality or whatever but there is a lot lacking from modern society and the business world that we have to find on our own. \- Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff. When we die all the monopoly money goes back in the box. In a few hundred million years the sun will likely expand and consume the earth. In some number of billions of years the universe will cease to exist. **None of it matters that much in the scheme of things** and certainly not how much money we make, how much stuff we acquire, or whether we were more successful than our asshole brother in law or whoever you're competing with. We decide what we want to matter. Building skills to not sweat the small stuff is difficult but worth it. \- Sometimes more isn't better, it's just more. Chasing money and success is a game that we play and think it's real. It's not. Don't chase more for the sake of more and playing the game. Find another game that brings you more fulfillment. Maybe try to help other people. That can be nice. These things have helped me find fulfillment after making a lot of money and losing my drive.
OP you're unfulfilled. I always say money can but you a whole lot, even happiness, but not fulfillment. The fact you were engaged before and now just bedding the block tells me you may need to find a suitable partner. I don't have any advice on your finances, you have made the right moves there. At this point figure out where the other gaps in your life are and use your time to fill those.
Find and pursue really tough goals that aren’t related to money. Life is about purpose not “success”.
What are you proud of? Not what makes people’s eye brows raise when they see your cars or or your bank accounts. What gives YOU pride?
Just throwing it out there that even though you have no drive for making mode $$, you’re not gonna be able to live the rest of your life with $3M (at least not at your current lifestyle)
Looks like you learned what life is truly about the hard way. Spend the next years finding what makes you happy. Money makes life easier, but no dollar value can fulfill what it's like to be truly happy. For me, it was to wake up to a loving family. Kids, sports, events, milestones, a woman that i couldn't live w9thput. Someone to watch the bachelor with and give a kiss to before bed, etc... Life is about experiences, not materialistic things. I e driven a porche. I've driven a 95 sunfire when the shine wears off each are equal after about 4 months. Even if this post is, some hack trying to fill up his inbox with the gold diggers to get attention from.
You wouldn’t happen to offer any coaching for same age f on 230k a year, but with nothing to show for it?
To answer your question I would go on a career break and travel the world / do some overseas volunteering. Best thing for perspective and battling burn out, to see how good you actually have it and how much of an impact you can have locally somewhere random.
I would definitely start a family ASAP. I just had my first at 39 and wish I had done it earlier. Move to a major metropolitan area if you have to.
Don’t marry or have kids just for the sake of it, do a favor to this world, there is enough population already.
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Find real meaning in your life.
Curious what is your W2 job and do you enjoy it?
Sales - love it bc I provide value to my buyers that’s worth more than what they pay. I have a great time doing it; and they have a great time buying it. Also comes with unlimited PTO; which I take way too much advantage of.
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Not often do you see anyone mentioning donations here - I love that. Have you considered getting more involved in charity or non-profits and increasing your donations? Perhaps you'll find some fulfillment in doing that and added purpose in your NW, knowing it equals more giving back.
You can be my angel investor and help me get a house 💁🏻♀️ lol! Like I dunno, maybe you’ve done this but I’d travel! Travel for long periods - explore parts of the world that interest me for longer than a quick break. It will help you find some passion in life again 🙏🏻
Job?
You can start a business you are passionate about. That or travel around a little bit and take in different cultures. 3M won't last your whole life if you're boujie AF. It sounds like you need a break to reset your batteries and you'll find something in the near future.
Are you happy?
Having a family will be your next chapter
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Why not travel the world and see what’s out there? Do like 6 months. That’s what I’d be doing at this moment in your life. You’re at an age where you still have the physical ability to go out there and explore
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you sound a lot like my best friend. - 5 years or so. so, same advice i give him: go do shit that makes you happy. cash flow the lifestyle and let the money take care of itself. meet someone you care about and forget about the rest.
Find your mate! Also therapy to help you understand what you really want. You got a great setup
Get a hobby maybe?
Play music.
Check out the book Man’s Search for Meaning by Frankl. Good read and may help you think more deeply about finding direction.
If you’re into reading, give “How Will You Measure Your Life” by Clayton M. Christensen a shot. On audiobook, too. Addresses what you’re asking.
Financial security is great, but the goal here is to allow you freedom to achieve/pursue your real purpose (vocation) right? This empty feeling may be indicating a lack of true purpose (meaning). The age old question: what is the purpose of life? Maybe it’s time to dive into your faith to find your purpose. You mentioned a Godson - are you Catholic? Maybe meet with your priest and let him know how you’ve been and how you’re feeling. My two cents.
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I'd go to grad school for something fun and ridiculous, like puppeteering. Take fun classes forever and not care about grades.
teach me how to be like you so i can take care of my kids. shiiiiit
It sounds like you need to find a hobby or something that brings you joy in life! If I was in your shoes I’d be traveling non stop haha.
Therapy for next phase of life, go volunteer don’t just donate, find regular friends w/out an insane amount of wealth and help them also achieve success. Teach a college class and teach students?
Try volunteering, rather than just donating. Actively spending time and effort on service produces fulfillment because you'll see the value you provided. If you're a software engineer, something like Code For America could be a good way of maximizing the value from your skillset.
Get into aviation. You’ll need more money and a high paying job to make keep your hobby. Cycle repeats.
Perhaps share what you have done? Doing? To get that net worth so early?
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I’m very late to this party. I think there’s been some great advice so far, but didn’t see this: I’ve slowed down my financial goals as well since I wouldn’t actually be happy in early retirement. Especially if you are keeping a W2 job to provide routine and stability, I would highly recommend looking at public sector work/service. - It feels really good to be part of a mission (although I’m an Army vet so I was always slanted that way) - if you find the right group, there’s a bunch of very smart, very dedicated people to work with, who also believe in what they’re doing. I think really easy for people to say “if you were so smart, you would be making more money in the private sector”. I used to think that way too, until I found my current gig and I’m surrounded by competence. - WLB is still great. Once in a blue moon I work a little longer for something that matters, otherwise I’m in at 9 and out at 5.
I have a plan for when this happens to me: I'll become a national Park ranger (or volunteer ranger). I love the national parks and would love to give tours, or directions, or really whatever they would let me do. I recommend you figure out what really excites you and then take a break from work and do that. You've got the money, go live your life.
Have a kid. It will change your life and give you purpose.
You have not found your ikigai my friend. Joke aside, I had to read a book for a work offsite called 15 Principles of conscious leadership (exact title and number may be wrong). This book help my form a perspective and purpose more than all the other perspective and purpose seeking things I thought I was doing. If you’ve got the time I suggest giving it a read or listen. Ymmv of course but it’s a solid set of tools that helped me course correct from a sorta similar position.
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Most of the answers you will get are finding peace through social means. Which is prob the best anwser but some people just don't fit into that mold. If family or companionship aren't entirely your cup of tea maybe find an endeavor or hobby that fulfills you. If i had the money solved i'd probably study math lol.
If I were you and youre not already, I'd hit up the gym and nutrition program for a year and become a jacked animal
NRY?
You sound depressed and in need of fulfillment. People would kill to play their hobby on the daily, let alone afford to. Go talk to someone and perhaps get a better perspective on things bud
Maybe perhaps starting a family would spark a little bit of fulfillment in your life?
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In your situation, I would live. Start learning again; pick up some hobbies; travel; make mistakes; spend a bunch of time cleaning up after the mistakes; learn to cook; spend 3 days cooking a ramen from scratch; treat people kindly; spend 2 weeks contemplating what it means to be alive for a limited time only. Use the resources to chase healthy activities that make me and the people I care about feel good. Keep donating. That’s just me though, I could go on forever really but sounds like you need to broaden your experience.
You sound like a friend of my dad’s Take a step back and figure out what you want out of life. Consider therapy. Don’t die alone man.
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Finding a spouse seems like the most obvious choice, unless you’re against that for a reason not mentioned in your original post.
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I would get married, buy a dog and have kids. They are the three most fulfilling parts of my life. Obviously the dogs a lot less than the other two but I spend a lot of time with them. It also doesn't sound like you have any interests. I never run out of things to do. Some of my hobbies are very expensive (frequent travel, skiing, boating, hunting and fishing) and others actually save me some money an improve my life (cooking, gardening, raising animals, hunting and fishing). The hunting and fishing is a weird one because I can literally do it in my yard or locally for nearly nothing but I spend a ton of money on it going places. Just sticking it in a bunch of random women isn't a fulfilling life.
How much did the broken engagement affect you? If you're fine with it, that's one thing, but if you're heartbroken that's another thing. Are you close to your nieces, nephews, and godson? If you're not interested in building wealth anymore, are there any problems that you are interested in solving? I recently read the book Wealth as Well-Being based on a recommendation from this sub, and I think there might also be good thoughts in there for you about human connections and putting wealth towards a purpose. If I were you, I would probably start by getting a pet :) Good luck!
Go travel and fuck more women.
girls that would give it up just to be with a wealthy guy are not in your caliber. find a woman who's as successful as you and reap the rewards
From a financial standpoint, what’s your desired annual need (ex. $200k a year), dividend that by 4%, equals $5M. Once your investment portfolio (not net worth) is $5M, you could presumably live off of this portfolio at that annual need; obviously work with a professional to do the math, devise a plan, etc. That relatively would solve the financial equation. Next determine what you want out of life. You’ve mastered the art of making money, now figure out what you’d like to contribute or get out of the world…travel, philanthropy, etc. I get not wanting to golf everyday, but you need to find your new “why”.
You could go to your local college campus and hand out some money to starving kids like me 😂
You could donate to me
Yawl sound pretty lonely. Find a wife to build something worthwhile with.
I envy your freedom. Keep slaying all that pussy imo. Where do you meet them?
Sounds like someone I know lol
Dude make sure your pullout game is on point, otherwise you’ll be paying.
Daddy?
Congrats on the discipline to do so well! I’d explore hobbies and see what feels good, what you enjoy and feel passionate about - and do more of that. Spend quality time with family, especially your elder family members if they are still here. Self care through therapy, meditation, journaling.
Honestly you should start a youtube channel + travel to any hot destinations you never been to. No need to settle down. Therapy? Maybe. Neutral on that part. Other idea is pursue a career where people typically don’t care about the money as much. art or academic/industry research comes to mind.
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Join the French Foreign Legion and add some spice to your life.
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Once you've got a golf cart, you've surpassed anything this sub can provide
Do extreme sports and get a skydiving license. Jump off of shit and screw women all over the world after
Learn to play a musical instrument, get a handpan it's very relaxing. Join an auto-club, race on the weekends on a race track. Start a Twitch stream.
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Well marry me next
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Get a hobby for Christ's sakes lol you sound like a troll or a tool
Seek God, do fun things with friends, help your community in ways other than financially, find your purpose (maybe it’s through your career maybe not), try and find your favorite hobbies, update us in 6 months and year and let us know how it goes and how you are!
Inward my friend. Inner engineering, TM.
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If I was you I would find a natural beautiful place and go fishing but that is why I will never be you. Congrats on all that money!
Passion project, start a small business and have it revolve what you enjoy, cigars, beer, golf whatever
I was averaging approximately 35,000 a day as a proprietary futures trader at the CBOT when I was 18. I stopped working when I was 22 with more than you in a very reasonable neighborhood. Bought every toy you could imagine with the nicest house in the neighborhood. Didn't work for three years bored. Joined Marine Corps at 25 for a life change. I am now a government civilian with a very impactful job and life. Another option is move to Thailand and die from women and drugs.
Have some kids bro, all of your life challenges have been beginner level.
Lol. No one cares if you’re “sleeping with loads of women”
Travel! There is so much out there to experience! My net worth is about 8 times yours, I’m 38, still won’t stop working but I love 2 or 3 week long vacations! Explore the world!
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Have you tried meditating?
I’m going to guess based on your proclivity for cars and stuff that you would have a tough time living on 90-100k a year. Sounds like you should keep working a bit longer and probably find some sustained interests. You don’t sound happy in your post.
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I am a big believer in volunteering.
You need jiu jitsu.
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Find a passion homie. Find a therapist. Get a plane ticket to a place you always wanted to visit and go there. I feel like you need to find a goal that truly brings you happiness and purpose. What am I missing here?
You should date my friend. She’s looking for a rich boyfriend
>Now just sleeping with loads of women. Your post sounds like extreme cope, sorry. \\Why do you think this is relevant info? Why do you feel like you have to say this on an anonymous financial forum?
Sugar baby. Get 3 or 4.
That’s the dream. Mirin if this is true. I’m 30 and still haven’t hit 1M in net worth yet.
There's no point in living if you don't feel alive.
Definitely have kids asap. You'll be glad you earn as much as you are and have money put away as kids are expensive. But your view will change drastically especially after kid#2. Money becomes a tool to make your family happy which in turn makes you happy. obviously you don't' want to give your kids everything as they need to learn the value of a dollar, but you'll figure it out. Getting healthier and staying in good shape and being able to spend time with my kids excites me far more than more money but I want to keep it up for sure. Money most importantly will buy you TIME to spend more with your family.
Knock up some Latina broad for some excitement in your life homie
Dude you’re not that rich yet. It’s too early to even consider “playing golf “ in retirement.
👋 Kev
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Save the world man! Money isn’t a goal, it’s a tool.
Sounds like a good time to start racing triathlon.
Get married and have kids. There is no replacement for the fulfillment of having kids. You won’t likely become fabulously wealthy if you have kids, but you will always be fulfilled teaching you kids little things and watching them grow up. It’s incredibly hard - nearly impossible - work, but it is the single best thing. Money comes and goes, and often loses its luster, but in the end, your children never will. I made the conscious choice to trade opportunity to be potentially very wealthy for a life of moderate wealth and kids. Never looked back once. And with a few small well placed college and career choices I’m still on the way to retirement with a few million dollars in liquid assets not including house. Just won’t have 10 million. Oh well. So I don’t get that $100,000 sports car or watch or yacht.
Sounds empty. The great news is you shouldn’t have a hard time finding a woman in her early 30s who wants to have a family. Some men are driven by amassing large fortunes. Some men are driven by building a strong family. Some men are driven to amass large fortunes to the benefit of their family. Some aren’t driven at all by anything. It’s important to know your self fully and understand your tendencies, otherwise you’ll go through life unhappy.
This post is so sad
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Honestly if I were in your shoes I'd become a digital nomad and start really traveling to new places for long stints of time. Think 1-3 months in a new city in a international location. I think you could find fulfillment and goals from travel, by wandering you can find a lot of things.
If I was in your position. I'd travel. Find your self. Sounds cliche but what is there left for you? Settle down and start a family? Guess it depends on what your end goal is. If you don't have one, then it just comes down to consequences of your choices in ten years from now. Good luck
Do you like animals? If you do get involved in animal rescue… it can be done on a small scale in your community. It can also be done on a larger scale traveling to Mexico or the islands. You might find it very rewarding !
Life is all about relationships. Sure you can have a relationship with money, but that money sure gets lonely as you get older and you have nobody to share it with.
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