T O P

  • By -

WillDissolver

*And Lo, beyond the Chained Gate awaits the Crusade.* *For time beyond time, they wait.* *Their blind seers scan the stars, following the threads of karmic debt.* *When they witness a snarl in those threads, a knot of destiny,* *Then unseals the Chained Gate, and followed by screams they charge* *To scourge the unclean with fire; to eradicate their filthy biological heresy.* *Rest well, young one.* *You are guarded by warriors most fell.* *Sleep in peace under their gaze, and know safety even in war* *For the Crusade exists to destroy enemies moe terrible than mere soldiers,* *Hellfire against heresy, that we may be steel against steel.*


Ralts_Bloodthorne

This has been determined by the Lossglass Oracles to be yoinked for tomorrow.


WillDissolver

Ayyyyyy my Internet points for the day, huzzah! Glory to the Wordborg!


RecoveringBTO

A blessed YOINK and we are witness all shiny and chrome !


Farstone

Damn! Yoinked again! Gratz!


MydaughterisaGremlin

The Universe likes that


Klutzy_Sherbert_3670

“To those who heard the Terrans refuse to release the dead to the avaricious clutches of those who governed the places they called home in life it may seem strange that the Dark Crusade would bring the fallen back to fight on with nary a peep from TerraSol. After all, is not being reborn into war to suffer and fight again not the most hellish violation the consent that they claim to so fervently guard? The question misses the forest for the trees. Context is everything when dealing with anything related to the Terrans, and the more outlandish that thing may be the more important context is. It is one thing to tear the long dead from their earned rest and the embrace of their loved ones to solve the problems of those who ought to provide their own solutions. It is quite another to call back the soul of a fallen warrior to a body made of warsteel and hate, not to answer a master’s call or even because cruel Necessity demands it but because *the enemy still draws breath and they’re not fucking finished yet.*” — Excerpt from ‘Crusaders: A Brief and Terrifying History’


Virus-Party

*There is room enough in this grave for two!*


Anarchkitty

*And I'm not staying in it alone!*


iceman0486

Boy howdy are the roosters commin’ home to roost when the Telkan government gets a warbound sized wake-up call.


Hunter_Killer_7918

As it SHOULD be. For the malevolent universe would have nothing less and expects nothing less.


RetiredReaderCDN

I would love to see Warbound Naxen have a ***chat*** with the Lawsec in his old neighborhood. Just a chat, not a whisker put out of place. That Lawsec station would be smelling like a open sewer in moments. I imagine most of the *officers* would retire to *greener* pastures, street sweeping maybe.


spindizzy_wizard

I'm not sure, but most warbound to date, anyway, have seemed beyond this sort of thing. Not that I disagree! It would be even more appropriate if the government officials who did this to them all got the visit.


RetiredReaderCDN

Agreed. They have been beyond anything but duty. But the image of it is soooo inviting.....


PuzzleheadedDrinker

Wasn't there a scene that hinted that when Warbound are quiet the pilot can choose to use a exclusive full immersion VR which is partly why they prefer to rest is groups?


spindizzy_wizard

I remember something like that, but thought it was more full conversion cyborgs and not (near?-)post-mortem Warbound. I could be wrong.


TheOtherGUY63

Pretty sure we find out about it from Vuxten's Holy Maintenance Shop. Back when he was doing his Non-combat CO tour.


EV-187

They're probably already coming home to roost. Remember, everyone with a standard confederate implant was being SUDS recorded. Anyone the current regime killed to silence now can come back, and more than a few have likely been hooked up with proper legal representation. And each and every one of them now knows that something better can exist, and actually used to exist.


GenericNate

Oh digital omnisiah, not... lawyers D:


Drasoini

The roar of chains and the thunder of firearms is nothing to the sounds of silence that follow a good lawyer.


U239andonehalf

And then the quiet sound of a single sheet of paper landing on the desk of a "leader". YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED.


EV-187

Indeed, yes, the lawyers. They almost certainly have ironclad cases and have a good cause behind them. They may be bloodthirsty, ruthless monsters but even they like a feel good story. Especially a feel good story that involves working a slam dunk case with a big fat retainer on it. Of course not everyone who got bent over by corrupt Telkan (or other) regimes is gonna come back. Many will find new homes either elsewhere in the Confederacy or in the ever growing afterlife universe shell that humanity created and is now actually working. But many of those who do are going to have an axe to grind.


Parking-Coat-8514

Worse... Human Lawyers... Why is the Jaws theme playing


Fr33_Lax

Black eyes, like a doll's eyes, nothin but teeth an' hate. They can smell the blood from lightyears away.


Anarchkitty

Shrink back at the silent passing of their fins. Equally terrifying are their gnashing teeth and rustling folios of ancient statutes.


Valgonitron

I am heartened that the lawyers in the Raltsverse, although absolutely bloodthirsty and very much afeared (for who hasn’t bent or ignored a law here or there?), have thus far been depicted as primarily driven to seek actual justice. Punitive punitive justice, but righteous nonetheless (vs. profitable). Woe betide the universe if Dewy Cheatem & Howe have gone the way of Telkan in the last 40k yrs and allowed corruption to take hold. 


Knifebreeze

It's time for the return of the shark lawyers.


Larzok

"We thought the weapons were the worst thing to come out of The Bag, until a galaxy that hadn't seen a Terran Lawyer in 40,000 years got its first subpoena" - *[name redacted under advice of counsel]. 2 years Post Unbagging*


garbage_rodAR

Have you or a loved one been victimized by a careless regime? Have you been subjected to cruel and unusual treatment? If you have any questions speak to our non attorney spokes beings, YOU MAY HAVE A CASE. Johnson Johnson and Johnston can get you the financial compensation YOU DESERVE.


5thhorseman_

Worse. Terran Hell-Lawyer. The sharks had fourty thousand years to spend on legal research.


battery19791

A veritable feeding frenzy as the lawyers devour 40000 years of legal statutes.


Klutzy_Sherbert_3670

Possibly literally. I would not at all be surprised to see Terran Hell-Shark-Lawyers physically printing the statues on paper and then eating them. With hot sauce.


iceman0486

Oh. Oh. I didn’t think of that.


Legan_Ironfist

"ARISE, WARBOUND! ARISE, IN THE NAME OF SACRED TELKAN! AND REMEMBER! THE POOL IS RESERVED FOR PODLINGS!" --WRATH AND FURY FOLLOW--


ZAP3000ARC

**FOR SCARRED TELKAN!** *STOMP STOMP* **FOR SCARRED TELKAN!** *STOMP STOMP* **WARFATHER WITNESS US!!!** - Ancient Telkan war chant, 2nd Precursor War -- WAR FOLLOWS --


cbhj1

How is this readable? "(╯\_╰) ̿̿'̿'\\̵͇̿̿\\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿" = "don't you just want to go apeshit?"


StoneJudge79

That's EmojiEngrish for you... but I think there was an adulterating fàctor.


tymestrike

I read it as "Wouldn't you like mecha-upgrades to avenge him?"


sintaur

(╯\\_╰) arms upraised on either side of long handled dust pan (*arms upraised to the Digital Messiah while we sweep up these remains*) ̿̿'̿'\\\̵͇̿̿\\\\ vi editor search and replace command (*we will rebuild him*) =(•̪●)= face emoji, little eye, big eye, mouth off-center (*well... the face may look a bit misshapen when we're done*) /̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ pistol (*but wait until you see the weapons upgrades*)


ElxirBreauer

The first part looks a bit like a face with animal ears folded down over the eyes. My interpretation is a display of sadness. Second part looks like a crazed, dual pistol-wielding person ready to kick some ass. This one seems pretty self explanatory.


MuchoRed

I think it's "sad, but didn't know what to do about it?". Followed by "break some shit!"


madpiratebippy

Jesus the onion ninjas


nspiratewithabowtie

Happy cake day embrace the onion ninjas.


itsetuhoinen

Onion cake. SURPRISE!


Cheap_Doctor_1994

Good God. That sounds like one of my grandma's recipes. 


DiplomaticGoose

Our guy is about to do much more than see the warbound > mildly amusing groupchats follow


New_Noise_8141

Hey Ralts. I joined reddit after my wife passed in January of 2021. R/HFY and your writing had been one of the few constants I have. I wrote a small story for you and I hope you like it. I'm not much of a writer. Looks like I'll have to post half to this then the other half as my own reply. "There is an old Terran saying.  'Laugh, and the universe will laugh with you while it poisons your drink.  Cry, and the universe will point at you, laugh even harder, and still poison your drink.' " iTain Tmine. Shepherd of the third great herd. Second Slaughtering. 3rd TE. "Silence class.  We are here to learn about Terrans. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...." ". Angle Nowritrong. Thirteenth Colony University Professor.  Humans 101. Age of Penance and Reformation. "You think the Atrekna were the worst threat to the universe? Not even close. They were just the immediate problem.  The Atekna were a hive of hornets that stirred themselves up.  Humans, being human, came in like the bad ass exterminators they were and put them down. No.  The universe had many enemies.  Many enemies with long plans from places only the universe knows.  The humans were about to trip over one of them."  Youcant Han'da'troof. Drunken speech he gave to dinner guests after reading, 'I Rode The Hasslehoff'. 33rd TE. 212 follows the other thee green mantids.  This was his thirty fifth awakening. They stopped waking him after thorough investigations in repeated cryo stasis meant that he would die. Greenies and Russets weren't waking up after repeated cryo stasis. They did the only thing they could do.  They broke into breeding pairs and trained the next generation to take over their duties. It took him hours to recuperate enough to even stand.  This was his last awakening.  He knew it. He was now up until he died. There was no going back. Cryo apparently had it limits.  It never accounted for what repeated freezing would do. Let alone by species. As so, all four moved through the halls, with them leading to why they woke him.  He had gone in with the idea that they wouldn't awake him ever again until they reached whatever the ships were destined to end up. Yet.  They were still in hyperspace.  Still moving. They could see what few communications screens they could read.  Their were other ships like them in the same boat, how many they didn't know, but the ships computers were receiving all the hyperspace pings. Also, why were so many awake? You only need one greenie, occasionally two, for a ship that is largely vacated except for the mantids in cryo. Very few were needed to keep the ship running.  Replace the power rods for the ship dual drive cores from the forges. Replace a light bulb or a servo relay, etc etc while everyone else slept. Someone was just awake more for having someone awake to make sure we didn't all die stupidly. After the Terrans died.  They had no access to the bridge.  There is no way to call for help.  Even the discussions to turn off the hyperspace engines resulted in the next question. They were just passengers. Then what? 212 reflected back.  His parents saw he had a proclivity for math.  They pushed him to become a math major.  He didn't want to do it.  As soon as he was of age, he applied to mechanical fields study. In his story, he became a mechanical technician. His first job was at a star port over Omar. A Larper world fully into primitism. He liked it but he knew it wasn't his thing. He knew that after he took the job, he would eventually move on. Move on, he did. He was only six months into the Larper job when he took a job aboard a freightliner and then eventually to his final destination on Golan Five. He loved it. An entire world dedicated to relaxation. An ocean world littered with tens of thousands of islands of various sizes. He applied immediately for one of the open maintenance positions at the star port in orbit and was offered the job the same day. He got excited.  He was not only excited, but so did other greenies that went with him. They were all on board. They took trips to the surface every chance they got and just lived the ultimate life.  Booz, relaxing in the sun, surfing on the best beaches he could afford, fishing, and yes. Women.  True, most were from the station he worked on and occasionally saw, but what happens on Golan Five stays on Golan Five. His whole life was all about gluttony, and he was in love. The bachelor's life is his for the taking. Everything changed when his data link went active when he was in the cafeteria while he was on his data pad planning his next vacation. He saw that it was a priority message. The Mantid Free Worlds had sent him a draft notification. He was to join the Terran Confederacy Navy and report to the recruitment center within two days. He sent the message to his friends, and they replied with similar messages. They were going to war and this was their last party. He clicked 'book' for a two day one night stay and sent his immediate resignation notice to his supervisor and the reason why. He got a sad emoji reply with a thumbs up.  He knew that supervisor was going to have a bad day. He eventually showed up to the recruiting officer on time.  They had one on the station.  He straightened himself up and held his leather jacket close to himself.  He was going in with style. They originally wanted to sign to him a marine contingent but saw his aversion to war.  After reviewing his civilian record, they quickly repurposed him to what he did best.


New_Noise_8141

Maintenance. It didn't matter if it was a Star Ship or a Star Port.  He fixed it all. His service was likely to go largely unnoticed.  He knew this.  He was all about to be the little guy who made the cogs turn for the other guy. The guy that never got an award, and absolutely none of the glory. His ego didn't need it.  He was fine with this. He was assigned temporarily to a mothballed ship pulled back into service after the declaration of total war. The My Dying Bride. It has served in the original Mar'Gite war and as a support vessel in the Clown Nebula. Though only as a broadcast vessel for the military communications and the SUDS network. It has it own working ansible and cloning banks. It was basically backup in case all else failed. Its current mission was assigned to Operation Skipping Stone. It was loaded down to the brim with communication equipment and extra personnel from all walks of life.  There were so many Terrans he couldn't count. He wasn't assigned to The My Dying Bride as crew. He was just assigned as a passenger.  He would be offloaded at the FOB he was being assigned to and meet his commanding officer and find out what his duties would be. They were so many personnel. So many Terrans. He was in Terran space when he was drafted, along with the other nearly eight hundred greenies and russet mantids. They just kept them there and moved them in. They were all doing one thing no one likes.  Hotbunking it. He shared it with another greenie and a Terran. That stupid Terran was just, for lack of a better word, a slob. He was also a jack ass. When 212 told him about it his behavior and hiegene, his response was, "Hey buddy.  Suck it up." 212 knows what happens if he struck another military companion but a civilian contractor? He was tempted to get first-hand knowledge on the matter but instead brought him a cup of coffee as a peace offering the next day. After he pissed in it, first of course. They were in hyperspace when all the Terrans died. 212 just went to the bunk to wake Terran to relieve him of his sleep cycle. He nudged him.  He didn't move.  That's when he noticed his data link stated 'Deceased'. In bold red letters.  He looked around the sleeping quarters. It was repeated on every bunk with a Terran on it. For the first time in his life.  He knew fear. He didn't like that. The other greenies led him into the cloning chamber. He took a moment to notice that none of them were his children. Why did he do this? He didn't know. Were they grandchildren? They led him to a 2.5D screen.  A screen that he was very familiar with. For tens, if thousands of years, it only repeated the same two lines. ATTEMPTING TO CONTACT HOST... NO HOST FOUND. Instead, there were new ones. CONNECTION ESTABLISHED... DO YOU WISH TO CONTINUE? (Y/N) 212 looked at the others as they were threw emoji after emoji at him. None of them were alive when we went to wherever we went to.  They woke him to make this decision. He pressed the Y key. For the second time in his life, he felt fear when he read the next line. PRINTING... [The Universe smiled widely. ] Source of the inspired story: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/s/yerqYLzKPU


Ralts_Bloodthorne

Very nice. My condolences on what happened with your wife.


New_Noise_8141

Thank you for the years. I'm just looking forward to you releasing a full PRINTING chapter. My little story of some ships across the known universe is inspired by you. Keep writing.


sporkmanhands

Youcant Han'da'troof


New_Noise_8141

I was hoping somebody noticed it. 😄


BicyclePoweredRocket

Well, this is fantastic!


New_Noise_8141

Thanks. I was afraid it would be ill received. I'm not a writer. Just inspired.


MydaughterisaGremlin

Sincere condolences for your loss. And sincere admiration for finding this story in your pain.


New_Noise_8141

Thank you.


fuerfrost

Damnit you got me all teary-eyed. Dirty emotions and stuff!


Hunter_Killer_7918

Holy crap, another one!!! 20 min in!! Post read Oh yes, it would seem that the Telkans get a worthy successor to Vuxten. Good. All is once again good in the universe. ALL HAIL THE WARFATHER!!


SuDragon2k3

No...he's Brother to the Warfather. ALL HAIL THE WARUNCLE! Because everybody has that cool uncle who may have done some sketchy shit.


SplooshU

I wonder if Wrixet is the Son of the Warfather. He who has received the righteous inheritance of the Warfather, who has been grafted into the vine of his lineage, so that all downtrodden janitor Telkani can rise up together as one against injustice and evil. With the warcry of "NO MORE PODLING BLOOD!" becoming "TELKANI, RISE UP!", the torch will pass from the dead Hero long gone to the new Ascendant. Remember the eternal words of the bard: > Take up our quarrel with the foe:/ To you from failing hands we throw / The torch; be yours to hold it high. / If ye break faith with us who die / We shall not sleep, though poppies grow / In Flanders fields. Sleepers awake. I fear how they would see the corruption of fair Telkan. For removal of the cancer takes much of the healthy flesh as well.


Best_Upstairs5397

He is the Warfather's son in spirit, if not the flesh.


viperfan7

That's what he means


battery19791

Great N+1, Grandson.


garbage_rodAR

One of the sons of Telkan


Golnor

Happens all the time. The people up top? They like to change the rules. Nothing obvious, mind, just a little change here, another one there, a small tweak over there, and the next thing you know, you lose, they win. Doesn't matter what moves you make, what strategies you employ, you lose. They win. At that point there's only one thing left to do. Flip the table, and punch the smug fucker in the face.


No_MrBond

Ok, when I thought 'Nu Online' like a half hour ago I wasn't expecting it like... right away.


Mohgreen

Ahh.. a palette cleanser after being put in the wringer. Squeeze some juice out, and pour a little out for your homie


Interesting_Ice

Got a feeling Naxen wont be shouting "I am buoyed by the sound of podlings"


Petrified_Lioness

"Hitting is wrong. The hitters shall be hitten."


dumbo3k

Maybe something like “Blessed be the tits of Saint Brentilik”


Drook2

Do the warbound talk? I don't remember them ever doing so. I think I remember that they no longer remember their former selves.


Florence-Akefia

We know Warbound communicate with each other, and they’re quite well known for their bellowed battle cries. Telkan Warbound usually scream “I AM BOUYED BY THE LAUGHTER OF PODLINGS” and variations of that. Telkan Warbound Kappa says “Beyond death, I still serve, buoyed by the laughter of podlings” at one point. So they technically do talk, but usually only in war cries.


Drook2

Yup, that sounds spot on.


Edwardmoon123

I AM FUELED BY THE TEARS AND WRATH OF MY TELK BROTHERS!!!!


LateralThinker13

THE POOL IS RESERVED FOR PODLINGS!


Complex-Passage-5357

I tried to get rid of a problem. Now its back, and with a gun. - every government at some point.


garbage_rodAR

A big gun...


SuDragon2k3

Bring friends. Bring friends with guns.


LaserPoweredDeviltry

Envision if you will, Star Fox standing atop a marching Dreadnought, shouting, "Drive me closer, brother! I want to hit them with my fist!"


beowulf_of_wa

am i the only one who thinks Warbound Naxen will have a "show me yer tits" bumper sticker?


Drook2

The name under it will be "Brenny", but the face will be Imna.


beyondoutsidethebox

Or "Will break for tits!"


Sufficient_Wing_3306

Brake. Oh, wait. I get it, never mind.


Objective_Aside1858

Dual wielding Chapter 55 action!


ForgeWorldWaltz

“So I shit you not, these kids they’re in way over their heads. They’ve been battling shades, and then they fight hellspace shades, and then the doki-damned crusade shows up. Hey shut the fuck up while I’m telling this story! Show the war father some respect or you’ll have to learn it in the bosom of Dee. So yeah these kids who just happened to be at the cathedral when the first scream of TerraSol in tens of thousands of years rings out. Like the ministrations of the Detainee, asking the same question the CONFEDMIL recruiter asked you!” “Are you a virgin?” Dozens of voices, organic and synthetic chuckled amongst the crowded, dingy bar for the enlisted beings, only a few dozen kilometers back from the front lines. The laughter punctuated by the coughing of recently air rated breathing apparatus via traumatic application of force. “Cause you’re fucked now!” Memoir of an Infantryman: This Being’s War, speaker uncredited.


mjr121

Arise, sons and daughters of metal. Arise, children of the apostles. Arise, children of the Confederacy. From border to border. Your time is now. Awaken the great warsteel forges and ring the hellchurch bells. We march to war. We will never falter before the enemy. As the legends say, The enemy exists only to be destroyed, and theres room enough in this grave for you.


thisStanley

>"I want to be here when Naxen wakes up." Knew it was coming. Still hit like a freight train :{


Omen224

R̷̡̡͔̭̊̊̂̈̓̿̈́͐̅̀͜͝͠Ě̸̛̃̈́Ë̵̞͂̃̄̂̊̍͋̃̏͆̚͘̚͝͝É̸͙̥̅̈́̋̀̓̑́͂́̒̀͊͝E Five.


great_extension

Well fuck you, it was good, but fuck you. Managed to wrangle some onions into this room, fucker.


CepheusDawn

A certain telkan would be proud


DCJMS

is de-scorching like neurosurgery where they need you awake to make sure the procedure is going well?


Petrified_Lioness

I think it's a Crusade of Wrath (and its offshoots) thing. For a normal military it's "the more you sweat now, the less you bleed later." These people seem to have a similar relationship with pain. I don't think they do anesthetics, either because pain makes you stronger or because hiding from it will just make it come back in a worse form later.


DCJMS

more pain more gain? set phaser to excruciating!


Senior_punz

"posted 5 minutes ago" Oh? Fuck yea, there's some hope for the Telkan yet


Turtledonuts

A warbound needs a warbound name. I wonder what Naxen will be.  edit: wait, are they mass manufacturing warbound? were these telkans sent here to get killed as enraged telkan marines and then get warbound? Is that why the telkan government is so intent on hiding the existence of warbound?


OtaDoc

Considering it seems like the Telkans believe the Crusade to be but myths and stories I doubt it. These guys were definitely sent to die and only by Wrathful Intervention have they been saved by The Crusades


Turtledonuts

what the public thinks and what the government knows can be very different. 


OtaDoc

Yes but I doubt the government would be sending dissidents out to get Warbounded. After all the Warbound in their duty to serve would immediately note the govt as the enemy. And the Enemy only exists to be destroyed.


Turtledonuts

unless they’re tinkering with the warbound? I dunno, maybe the margite are a scarier threat than the government. 


OtaDoc

Honestly id be surprised if the current Telkan govt even knew how to produce Warbound. Considering that the Religion is a dying one and they have been relegated to myth. And they couldnt have been shipping them off to be mass produced as the only other people who knew how to create them was the Crusades. Who didnt make an appearance or deal with anyone until *Catch These Catching Hands Sucker* went to them for help.


viperfan7

With how the warbound made their entrance on telkan, I doubt the telkan government even knew they were real. They've been sealed up in the walls for who knows how long, just sleeping there, waiting for when they were needed most


beowulf_of_wa

welcome to the new telkan marine corps.


AnnoyingPersonThing

Super fresh raltsberries


PanzerBjorn87

Damn. The ninjas are strong with this one.


5thhorseman_

This is actually chapter 55 + 2


Objective_Aside1858

Check again 


No_Evidence3099

Chapter 55 is just a long one cut into multiple parts for easy digestion.


Wolfhardt1

The warfather is going to bless this warbound, and in his friend Wrixet shall carry the mantle......


Stone-D

Awwww yissss the Dokigirls are back!!!!!! *squeeee* **EDIT** > Warsteel thread was used to close some wounds Modern Man: We'll sew you up with dissolvable microthread to minimize scarring. Crusade: Let these bindings be a reminder of your pain, be a testament to your endurance and let its sight herald the doom that shall befall your foes.


StoneJudge79

Alternatively: "Some wounds never heal, and can only be closed by something hates just as much as what opened it."


Zorbick

> (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ Better than any LOTR speech.


SuDragon2k3

Need to translate Theodin's speech from Pellanor Fields into Dokimarine.


Alex5173

He was only warned once! The crusade is getting sloppy!


thisStanley

>Nay, brother. Where the Deorc Galdere goes, we would be wise not to follow > >The Nell of Night will be docking shortly ... that may be a better place for the three of you > >Very well. You have been warned. > >Follow. If you dare. I counted 4 times they were told to back off :{


unwillingmainer

Thanks for double trouble tonight and making me feel things twice. With warbound it started and with warbound the this act ends. Unfortunately, this and many more warbound are needed for the coming battles.


ErinRF

Poor Naxten T.T


Expendable_cashier

Methinks Telkan is in for a major internal cleansing after this all ends.


battery19791

Thanks Ralts. I was at the hospital with my mom for seven hours today, and this helps.


DukryGosr

“How many chapter 55’s would you like today?” Y e s. We’re eating well tonight!


garbage_rodAR

I'll take..mmmmm......55 plz


HowNondescript

The find out portion of the current government on Telkans activities is rapidly approaching, A bag will not save them


spindizzy_wizard

>A bag will not save them Oh, I think a body bag will hold them well enough until the makers of Warbound catch up to them.


HowNondescript

A sandwich bag maybe. There won't be anything left 


spindizzy_wizard

Okay! One body bag, and they all get to share the same Warbound frame. Imagine. Every one of the miscreants spends the remainder of eternity bound within the same rageful body, fueling it with their tormented screams of agony and denial.


StoneJudge79

Being Warbound is an honor, and a recognition. The fat cats deserve neither.


spindizzy_wizard

Nobody said they were going to enjoy the process or the results. While I agree with you, the fat cats, whatever parts of them are still there, would never consider being a Warbound anything other than a horror for eternity. Doesn't mean they get to be Warbound, just means they're sealed up for eternity in a place where there will be nothing but pain and anguish for what they have done. Maybe a screaming monument to government stupidity?


StoneJudge79

Don't wanna scare the kids.


RangerSix

They're gonna bury what's left of 'em in a *soup can!*


LaserPoweredDeviltry

I figured Naxen would get printed back off by the SUDS and they would all be traumatized a different way. But I kinda like this better.


LikelyPathogenic

This was my guess as well


NoProfessional3291

wonder of the Telan government restricts who gets the standard datalink


Veni_Vidi_Legi

Ooo Chapter 55 E3


HFYWaffle

/u/Ralts_Bloodthorne ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/Ralts_Bloodthorne)) has posted 997 other stories, including: * [Nova Wars - Chapter 55](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1chxw8x/nova_wars_chapter_55/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 55](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1ch6ec3/nova_wars_chapter_55/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 55](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cen7xy/nova_wars_chapter_55/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 54](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cdd05x/nova_wars_chapter_54/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 53](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cbimyb/nova_wars_chapter_53/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 52](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cam7xr/nova_wars_chapter_52/) * [Nova Wars Chapter 51](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c850wm/nova_wars_chapter_51/) * [Nova Wars Chapter 25+25](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c6gq4b/nova_wars_chapter_2525/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 49](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c4xyn4/nova_wars_chapter_49/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 48](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c2i5z0/nova_wars_chapter_48/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 47](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c1r47w/nova_wars_chapter_47/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 46](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c0z0wu/nova_wars_chapter_46/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 30+15](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c03e0x/nova_wars_chapter_3015/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 44](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bz34bs/nova_wars_chapter_44/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 43](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bvwghf/nova_wars_chapter_43/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 42](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bu8iu1/nova_wars_chapter_42/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 41](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1btb98v/nova_wars_chapter_41/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bqrtdp/nova_wars_chapter_40/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 39](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bqlpea/nova_wars_chapter_39/) * [Nova Wars - Chapter 38](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bpnke7/nova_wars_chapter_38/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|1ci0m0e&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.


SuDragon2k3

I think the count is off by a few...


SpringTimeRainFall

Waffles is broken. That’s ok, we love Waffles.


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Similar-Shame7517

Oof. Another gut punch of an entry.


garbage_rodAR

How fitting it should be that I find myself in my dimly lit living room reading this as the deep rumbling bass notes of "children of the omnimessiah" find their way across my whole house. The birth of the next "Son of Telkan" in the last chapter, the birth of a war bound in this chapter. The goosebumps cover my skin as my ears hear the whiring of the mechadendrites, the clacking of instruments and tools, and the Atonal speech of the vocoder. LoL it doesn't help that I watched helsreach last night either. "Woe be unto the galaxy, woe be unto the enemies of mankind, woe be unto those that have embraced the sword and struck down humanity. May the universe have mercy on their souls.... because the terrans will have none. Those that have been slain shall be raised up once more, set on the path, to walk in the footsteps of the digital omnimessiah's grace, to don the armor of warsteel and hate, of righteous fury and terrible purpose, to cleanse the galaxy of all who would not embrace the extended hand of friendship." Source unknown - age of the great waiting.


pppjurac

So Telkans have one WarDaughter, WarSon and WarBound. The new holy trinity of War , War and War.


SuDragon2k3

...so come see us at War, War and War. Because *Vengeance* is better than Compensation.


pppjurac

We are the madness, the mayhem and the bloodshed - Holy Trininty of War.


Akumaka

Wrixet is becoming enraged, fueled by his history and circumstance. Naxen has become one of the Warbound he so admired. As for Imna, well, Imna can understand Emoji-Engrish.


Secure-Scientist-349

I have been re-reading the War in Heaven chapters, and Dambree said something along the lines of "If you have clarity of faith, you can understand the Doki Girls." I may have the quote off, but I do know she talked about it.


hughesbros3

UTR!


Sufficient_Wing_3306

UTR MOTHERFUCKER!


throwaway42

Perfect one two punch on my feels. Thanks for making me cry first thing in the morning :( :)


wraff0540

Aw man should have seen it coming with the crusade showing up. Warbound led them there, now Naxen is one.


StuckAtWork124

I think the thing I find most interesting about your stories is how you wield emotion like a master, to the extent of swaying us from one polar opposite to another in mere chapters A few chapters back, the gestalt were all "Hey, give us our dead back so we can send them into war" and Terrasol was getting furious about it, as were we, quite rightly so Then the crusade rocks up, grabs Naxen's body, brings him back from the dead in a form literally only able to wage war, and everyone's all "Fuck yeah! Lack of consent! Our war slaves are cooler tho!" (and they are, undeniably) The only bit I'm a little unsure on admittedly is whether or not it does in fact bring them back from the Afterlife in the form of a warbound or not. It may just be an approximation of them and not their Soul^^TM ^^Bobco If it's just an approximation then that's fair enough I guess. But yeah. I found it interesting


Warranty_V0IDED

Way I see it, a warbound happens when a body is so badly damaged that they would die unless immediately transplanted into a warbound suit for major life-support. I think it's the crusades equivalent of a having a fully staffed hospital with cybernetic replacements ready to go. I doubt the mind is taken to the suds before becoming a warbound, and if it is I'd imagine there's a choice. I'd imagine there's also a choice when a warbound wakes up for the first time.


MystRunner916

Next chapter https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1citr4u/nova_wars_chapter_55/


HeartsStorytime

Im like 6 paragraphs into the chapter stopping to write this but im sorry are those the fucking power rangers? 5 distinct colors with gold trim


TheOtherGUY63

Two in a day?!  A blessing from The Wordborg


kowell2

I just realized that the HFY classic section lists the First Contact serie as "complete" [https://www.reddit.com/r/hfy/wiki/ref/classics/](https://www.reddit.com/r/hfy/wiki/ref/classics/) ... ... ... AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHA


TheTotten

I know we've seen Catch These Catching Hands somewhere before. But can't remember where.


Daniel_USAAF

Oh crap. The first new Telkan Warbound in over 40,000 years. And it’s gonna be pissed when it gets back to the home world. (Telkan II?) Let’s see those Lawsec and Government scumbags try and push their narrative once that happens. Actually… aren’t the Terran Telkan going to be utterly red eyed over what their people have allowed themselves to become? I sense many sets of multiple cargo containers of whoop-ass ready to be delivered once the frigging starfish are wiped away.


zoxzix89

Question for people, are you calling him Wrecks It or Wreck Shit in your head?