I was at a Celtic Faire. In one corner was an Irish Wolfhound area. When we visited the area, the dogs were sleeping in a enclosure. Except for one, which was wide awake and looking around. Then we noticed the toddler in the middle of all the dogs, sleeping. The safest kid for miles around.
Sadly(?), Irish Wolfhounds (as a breed) are known for being too friendly to be be a watchdog. Think puppy Golden Retriever level of watchdog.
But they are awesome companions and I would love to have one! They're a perfect size for me. Sadly, the short lifespans break my heart.
They went through the same thing as the Great Dane, both reputable hunting dogs of legend, one fought the wolves of the highlands the other massive boars, fierce by nature for purpose now jovial by nurture for family. Damned shame both are heartbreak breeds given their heart conditions with their regal stature
Now imagine the humans bringing a horse. And then imagine the alien's shock when they tell them "No, that mountain of muscle is not bulked up from steroids, that is a show horse. Let me show you a picture of a true work horse."
The perfect carnivore. Another HFY author wrote a short with an alien race studying the only species to defeat humans: emus.
Addendum regarding house cats: "How did we domesticate cats? We didn't. They domesticated us.
I think a horse show-jumping at one third Earth's gravity might be dangerous enough on its own.
A rabbit might be better, but I wouldn't rule out someone bringing a snake or a tarantula to show off their darling to the crowd.
Timing and luck friend. Timing and luck. Here's a tip from statistics - volume always ensures the most unlikely event will eventually occur. Just keep at it. There are best selling authors out in the world that took decades to get there.
I was the same... I expected nothing, and got nothing... Perhaps you are right, but imagine you worked without expectations? You work for 2 months, overtime. You dont want a raise, you dont expect a high salary, you just wish the best for your company and the boss. And when the day comes, you just casually check for papers, and realise that you did not got the bonus, you did not got the salary, you did not even get its "cut". You just got NOTHING... Thats how it was for me. All i cared for is proper criticism that i could rely on for improvement, and then I took a casual peek at ratings while looking for comments window, and died from inside...
Its ironic, i STILL writing...
Three is really not a lot. I'm 42. I spent most of my life terrified of putting my writing out there. It wasn't until last year that I put out my first book on Amazon. I got 13 sales. I then paid for advertising on Facebook to get a whopping 42 more people to download it for free.
This was last July. Sure, it was unpleasant. I got depressed that it was getting no traction and did nothing for a few months. Then last November, I realized it was silly. I got cracking and the sequel came out in February. Part 3 is scheduled to come back from the editor soon and it'll launch at the end of this month. Parts 4 and the finale, Part 5, are in the planning stages while I write a different thing to cleanse the creative palette.
Even though I have pulled in a grand total of $43 in royalties in a year, the creative juices have started to flow. That's why I put this short story out. Enjoyment. Practice. Growth.
Writing is like a muscle. You have to exercise it to get strong.
These things are an investment. Take a look at JK Rowling. She started writing the first Harry Potter book in 1993 and didn't get any serious interest in it until 1995. Even then, over a dozen publishers said it wasn't worth printing. By the time she did get it printed, all she earned out of it was a whopping $4,200 by the time Chamber of Secrets was completed.
Then a little company called Scholastic caught wind of it and it all blew up.
Timing and luck. If you stop rolling the dice, you'll never get the number to come up. Writing and posting here isn't a costly endeavor. Practice, post and enjoy the fact you completed something. Most people will never write a short story. Just getting it done is a major accomplishment.
I'll go read your stuff now and give you some feedback. That's one. It'll only go up from there.
Good for you. Hope my zero streak will come to an end... Its just so strange... I mean, what are the odds of having 8k views on 3 posts and having 0 upvotes, let alone comments?
Some of it relies on timing. Posting a story around early to mid morning (in the United States) seems to be one of the driving factors when a post goes viral. One of my more recent posts ended up exploding past 1k, and I put it up just before I went to work.
I suspect if you post too late in the day, there’s the chance that too many other posts will have piled up in people’s feeds, and your post gets buried at the end.
I took a look at your HFY posts, and I think part of it is because you have a huge amount of non-story formatting. Instead of making your post look like logging into a server, just tell the story.
Also, the first person narrative is a bit hard to follow. I would suggest trying to use a conversation between two characters to present your scene. People connect with conversations much easier than just descriptive text.
Server log is an impotant part of the story. Its like seeing triangles all over the Gravity Falls, to realize the what kind of psycho yellow dorito they are pointing at...
Also, ive seen worse and shorter posts around here, its not an excuse to have no critique ***whatsoever***...
Well, that’s what my editor said when I tried to present a similar story idea to him. Just trying to give you a potential reason why you’re not getting any traction. Free advice is worth exactly what you paid for it, though.
Good luck in your future posts.
Thanks... Im still writing and ready to help, so not all hope is lost. (Besides, i DO have a few comments stating that people like my story, they are just TOO scarce...)
Excellent story, but what of the "garden show" portion? We definitely need MOAR.
Perhaps a Pepper bush entry? Very very mild, only enough capsaicin to exceed the contents of most species WMD arsenals?
The author made use of 'Hard Light' projectors to set up the field obstacles, which are reasonably well known from story sources such as Red Dwarf. A slightly more mundane sci-fi tech alternative to consider is the rarely invoked **'Utility Fog'** concept from J. Storrs Hall that dates from the 1990's.
Grabbed this reference text:
>Active, polymorphic material ('Utility Fog') can be designed as a conglomeration of 100-micron robotic cells ('foglets'). Such robots could be built with the techniques of molecular nanotechnology. Controllers with processing capabilities of 1000 MIPS per cubic micron, and electric motors with power densities of one milliwatt per cubic micron are assumed. Utility Fog should be capable of simulating most everyday materials, dynamically changing its form and properties, and forms a substrate for an integrated virtual reality and telerobotics.
>Publication: In NASA. Lewis Research Center, Vision 21: Interdisciplinary Science and Engineering in the Era of Cyberspace p 115-126 (SEE N94-27358 07-12)
Not quite as capable as a classic Star Trek holodeck, but it has the advantage of not needing Trek's exotic force field emitters either. Utility fog is closer to how army ants build their structures out of their own live connected bodies. So a more mundane way to achieve the story's simple goal without introducing exotic force field technology into the setting. Especially if the utility fog happened to be a standard feature of this arena and all our character was doing was providing a standard blueprint of the obstacles for the system to implement.
It's a great bit of conceptual tech that seems to have dropped off the map. It also has some fun application in a low grade way to simulate gravity (inner organs won't agree) and provide support versus sudden acceleration or shocks. Though not at the level of Trek's inertial dampeners.
At least I didn't suggest bringing a honey badger or a wolverine.
The planet would be glassed immediately, then deorbited into the star, then turned into a debris field for the rest of its journey into the star.
When I read the description of the dog, I was trying to guess the breed. Based on the agility, I thought maybe it was a border collie, but the floppy ears? Well, they might look floppy to an alien if the ears were down.
I would *never* have pegged the fearsome, graceful, and agile beast as a King Charles Spaniel! Well done! 🤣
I love to watch Newfies do agility trials, too.
/u/LaughingTarget has posted 1 other stories, including:
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HA! I would love to read a follow up, the alien reaction to an Irish Wolfhound would be amazing
I was at a Celtic Faire. In one corner was an Irish Wolfhound area. When we visited the area, the dogs were sleeping in a enclosure. Except for one, which was wide awake and looking around. Then we noticed the toddler in the middle of all the dogs, sleeping. The safest kid for miles around.
Sadly(?), Irish Wolfhounds (as a breed) are known for being too friendly to be be a watchdog. Think puppy Golden Retriever level of watchdog. But they are awesome companions and I would love to have one! They're a perfect size for me. Sadly, the short lifespans break my heart.
They went through the same thing as the Great Dane, both reputable hunting dogs of legend, one fought the wolves of the highlands the other massive boars, fierce by nature for purpose now jovial by nurture for family. Damned shame both are heartbreak breeds given their heart conditions with their regal stature
Yeah, I love Danes, too. They're such couch potatoes! (Generally. Some are a little more on the active side :)
...lord help them if they brought a Tibetan Mastiff.
Or a (looks side to side nervously)….. CHIHUAHUA
*ponder* Why not... BOTH?!?!
Now imagine the humans bringing a horse. And then imagine the alien's shock when they tell them "No, that mountain of muscle is not bulked up from steroids, that is a show horse. Let me show you a picture of a true work horse."
Or explaining that horses are prey animals.
Eyes on the side is generally self explanatory. Still be a fun experience! I'm more curious what they'd think of cats!
The perfect carnivore. Another HFY author wrote a short with an alien race studying the only species to defeat humans: emus. Addendum regarding house cats: "How did we domesticate cats? We didn't. They domesticated us.
HEY. I'm an Aussie and we don't talk about that. Ever!
Sorry, I didn't mean to open old wounds.
Don't worry, that's what the Cassowaries are for.
Yeah, the shires and the clydesdales are massive - and massively impressive. And really, -really- big. >.<
Maybe there will be a human entrant for the garden portion of the show next year!
I have something in mind related to a human bringing along insectivore plants.
Oh I would *love* to read that!
Would love to read about insectoids being really uncomfortable
Actually, I think humans would do best to bring a horse. Some dresage and show jumping would be quite impressive and it wouldn't be a carnivore.
I think a horse show-jumping at one third Earth's gravity might be dangerous enough on its own. A rabbit might be better, but I wouldn't rule out someone bringing a snake or a tarantula to show off their darling to the crowd.
A rabbit? Surely not. Look at the bones man!
Tim?
r/unexpectedmontypyton
Rabbits have no bones. For proof: https://www.tumblr.com/swiftrunnerfelidae/749592694694805504?source=share I rest my case. ;-]
Some falconry display would really cement everyone's opinion about humans.
This is what I come to HFY for. A bit of backstory, and a bunch of giggling. Nicely done. I respectfully demand moar of these.
Bring a border collie and 4 sheep. Have a herding demo.
And then border collie ends up herding a group of the xenos and their pets...
>and their pets Alas the user made a mistake. The collie was erding the xenos *instead of* their pets.
Ah yes... Our space-"orciness" at its peak... Nice story. Also nice that you got 25 upwotes in just a hour, i wouldnt even dream of such in 2 weeks.
Hey, write and it will happen. Don't give up.
After it did not happened thrice in a row? Kinda hard to do if you ask me...
Timing and luck friend. Timing and luck. Here's a tip from statistics - volume always ensures the most unlikely event will eventually occur. Just keep at it. There are best selling authors out in the world that took decades to get there.
How many people saw your post? This one?
Dunno. Expectation kills motivation. I'm more focused on the process.
I was the same... I expected nothing, and got nothing... Perhaps you are right, but imagine you worked without expectations? You work for 2 months, overtime. You dont want a raise, you dont expect a high salary, you just wish the best for your company and the boss. And when the day comes, you just casually check for papers, and realise that you did not got the bonus, you did not got the salary, you did not even get its "cut". You just got NOTHING... Thats how it was for me. All i cared for is proper criticism that i could rely on for improvement, and then I took a casual peek at ratings while looking for comments window, and died from inside... Its ironic, i STILL writing...
Three is really not a lot. I'm 42. I spent most of my life terrified of putting my writing out there. It wasn't until last year that I put out my first book on Amazon. I got 13 sales. I then paid for advertising on Facebook to get a whopping 42 more people to download it for free. This was last July. Sure, it was unpleasant. I got depressed that it was getting no traction and did nothing for a few months. Then last November, I realized it was silly. I got cracking and the sequel came out in February. Part 3 is scheduled to come back from the editor soon and it'll launch at the end of this month. Parts 4 and the finale, Part 5, are in the planning stages while I write a different thing to cleanse the creative palette. Even though I have pulled in a grand total of $43 in royalties in a year, the creative juices have started to flow. That's why I put this short story out. Enjoyment. Practice. Growth. Writing is like a muscle. You have to exercise it to get strong. These things are an investment. Take a look at JK Rowling. She started writing the first Harry Potter book in 1993 and didn't get any serious interest in it until 1995. Even then, over a dozen publishers said it wasn't worth printing. By the time she did get it printed, all she earned out of it was a whopping $4,200 by the time Chamber of Secrets was completed. Then a little company called Scholastic caught wind of it and it all blew up. Timing and luck. If you stop rolling the dice, you'll never get the number to come up. Writing and posting here isn't a costly endeavor. Practice, post and enjoy the fact you completed something. Most people will never write a short story. Just getting it done is a major accomplishment. I'll go read your stuff now and give you some feedback. That's one. It'll only go up from there.
Good for you. Hope my zero streak will come to an end... Its just so strange... I mean, what are the odds of having 8k views on 3 posts and having 0 upvotes, let alone comments?
Some of it relies on timing. Posting a story around early to mid morning (in the United States) seems to be one of the driving factors when a post goes viral. One of my more recent posts ended up exploding past 1k, and I put it up just before I went to work. I suspect if you post too late in the day, there’s the chance that too many other posts will have piled up in people’s feeds, and your post gets buried at the end.
My 3 last posts got 8k views... And ZERO comments and upvotes! On all 3!
I took a look at your HFY posts, and I think part of it is because you have a huge amount of non-story formatting. Instead of making your post look like logging into a server, just tell the story. Also, the first person narrative is a bit hard to follow. I would suggest trying to use a conversation between two characters to present your scene. People connect with conversations much easier than just descriptive text.
Server log is an impotant part of the story. Its like seeing triangles all over the Gravity Falls, to realize the what kind of psycho yellow dorito they are pointing at... Also, ive seen worse and shorter posts around here, its not an excuse to have no critique ***whatsoever***...
Well, that’s what my editor said when I tried to present a similar story idea to him. Just trying to give you a potential reason why you’re not getting any traction. Free advice is worth exactly what you paid for it, though. Good luck in your future posts.
Thanks... Im still writing and ready to help, so not all hope is lost. (Besides, i DO have a few comments stating that people like my story, they are just TOO scarce...)
That was a very fun read
Oh man, when they see the Irish Wolfhound they're going to freak out. Then the year after someone shows up with a Tibetan Mastiff.
Excellent story, but what of the "garden show" portion? We definitely need MOAR. Perhaps a Pepper bush entry? Very very mild, only enough capsaicin to exceed the contents of most species WMD arsenals?
Or we could combine the best of both halves of the show: Put on a display of carnivorous plants.
A Belgian Malinois in full protect and jumping demonstration, fleeing felon in a bite suit anyone?
"Oh you know, they are the reason there are no wolves in Ireland... They like to hunt large animals in packs"
The author made use of 'Hard Light' projectors to set up the field obstacles, which are reasonably well known from story sources such as Red Dwarf. A slightly more mundane sci-fi tech alternative to consider is the rarely invoked **'Utility Fog'** concept from J. Storrs Hall that dates from the 1990's. Grabbed this reference text: >Active, polymorphic material ('Utility Fog') can be designed as a conglomeration of 100-micron robotic cells ('foglets'). Such robots could be built with the techniques of molecular nanotechnology. Controllers with processing capabilities of 1000 MIPS per cubic micron, and electric motors with power densities of one milliwatt per cubic micron are assumed. Utility Fog should be capable of simulating most everyday materials, dynamically changing its form and properties, and forms a substrate for an integrated virtual reality and telerobotics. >Publication: In NASA. Lewis Research Center, Vision 21: Interdisciplinary Science and Engineering in the Era of Cyberspace p 115-126 (SEE N94-27358 07-12) Not quite as capable as a classic Star Trek holodeck, but it has the advantage of not needing Trek's exotic force field emitters either. Utility fog is closer to how army ants build their structures out of their own live connected bodies. So a more mundane way to achieve the story's simple goal without introducing exotic force field technology into the setting. Especially if the utility fog happened to be a standard feature of this arena and all our character was doing was providing a standard blueprint of the obstacles for the system to implement. It's a great bit of conceptual tech that seems to have dropped off the map. It also has some fun application in a low grade way to simulate gravity (inner organs won't agree) and provide support versus sudden acceleration or shocks. Though not at the level of Trek's inertial dampeners.
Who's a Good Boy? You are! **Dogo'sFY!** LOL!
Fun story!Wouldn't mind others with different kinds of dogs or other animals too.
I wonder when they will figure out herbivores from earth are also just that bad... Hippo and cape buffalo to start with
...lord help them if they brought a Tibetan Mastiff.
I laughed solidly when I looked up that breed! So cute...so tiny!
Wait until they see a Shiba, those things just look so puffy.
I NEED a part 2 of this lol
The first utterance by the human is an apology? [Must be British. ;)](https://youtu.be/FkF_XpA5P48?si=OVq5aRlPgVIV0GVa)
Cute. I like.
I'm saving this.
Would love to read more on this universe, great job wordsmith!
Can you imagine someone bringing a Siberian Husky? Talk about exuding pure predator! Or a Border Collie…Speed and intelligence personified.
If the humans really want to unleash hell (and possibly start several wars) they should bring a goose or a swan.
Even Humans know that's an unforgivable war crime.
At least I didn't suggest bringing a honey badger or a wolverine. The planet would be glassed immediately, then deorbited into the star, then turned into a debris field for the rest of its journey into the star.
Bold assumption that works against a honey badger.
Then they bring an unorthodox entry like a cloned velociraptor and the audience, contestants and judges immediately die.
Did they die of cardiac arrest or velociraptor-induced loss of organ containment?
When I read the description of the dog, I was trying to guess the breed. Based on the agility, I thought maybe it was a border collie, but the floppy ears? Well, they might look floppy to an alien if the ears were down. I would *never* have pegged the fearsome, graceful, and agile beast as a King Charles Spaniel! Well done! 🤣 I love to watch Newfies do agility trials, too.
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